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J

I’m in love with you, but I’m scared to tell you. We’ve been friends for so long. I don’t want to make things weird, but I can’t go much longer making up hypothetical situations in my mind. Please don’t stop being my friend when I do tell you. I would be devastated.

Love,

L

dearmyblank

Darling,

We could have been magic.

Love always,

A girl still in awe of you.

dearmyblank

W-

I just can’t get you out of my head. It’s awful. Sometimes when I miss you a lot I will allow myself to think about you for a few minutes. Your smile. The way you made me laugh with your dinosaur run and kiss attacks. Holding you and being held. Sitting on the back porch at your mom’s smoking a cigarette together and watching the lights on the towers. The way you thought the smoke was pretty. Making chicken Alfredo, our favorite dish. Our first kiss. Chasing you through the house. Late nights with Canaan and Fred riding around town. “She’s dangerous.” Nashville shores. The first time we saw our little nugget on that ultrasound screen. You looked so scared when you found out we were having a baby girl. I just didn’t say anything. That’s when I knew, though.

You just slowly faded from my arms. And now you’re gone for good, and I just can’t bring myself to let go. I get so scared. So scared that I can’t breathe. My heart won’t let my brain comprehend what happened to us. I will never understand. Canaan was right when she told me we probably wouldn’t make it through together. She said babies do that, but I don’t think its the baby. I think we as humans invest too much time thinking about the future, and become obsessed and afraid. Then, we lose sight of what really matters.

I miss you so much. It hurts so badly. Not just a heartache, it’s a soul hurt. I am crushed. I feel this weight in my chest all the time. This hole deep in the dark pits of my mind. So vast that it seemed impossible to fill when you left. You left a huge void in my life.

But then Lillian arrived. I fill that void with the love for our daughter. The love you so recklessly threw away. She is the light in my ever-darkening world. She makes me feel whole. She makes me keep going when all I want to do is fall to my knees. She is my laugh now. My smile. My love. My whole world. Everything I do is for her. She will know what love really is. She will have a love in her heart so fierce that no one will break her. A love that you and I couldn’t grasp with our trembling hands. She will know what it means to really live life. She will know how to handle the pain of this world and will always come out on top. I will teach her that because of you. Because you couldn’t give us the love we deserve, I will show her what she has the ability to do. The ability to overcome the struggles of this life. She is fearfully and wonderfully made. She is fierce and amazing and lovely and graceful and beautiful. She is everything you aren’t and more. The only good thing that came from you. Thank you for showing me that I control my happiness. “Don’t let someone else hold your happiness because they will drop it. Every time.” She will live a wonderful life filled with happy memories and then she will know what real love is when she finds it.

I can’t help but hate you no matter how much I don’t want to.

-T

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dearmyblank

Dear J,

Sometimes I squeeze your hand 3 times when I hold it, and you squeeze back. What you don’t know is it means “I love you”, and those words are not something you’re ready to hear.

Someday, I’ll tell you. But for now, I’m happy just loving you in silence.

Thank you for being in my life.

-A

dearmyblank

BR,

You asked me out a few years ago and I said no, because I didn’t like you that way. We were really close and then not at all. I missed our friendship and I didn’t know how to get we had back.

And now suddenly we’re friends again and suddenly I’m starting to have those feelings I didn’t have when you asked me out a few years ago. I don’t want that to happen because I don’t want to mess up our friendship again, but I really like you a lot.

-C