Ten Ways to Support Breast Cancer Awareness Month That Donât Include Buying Pink Shit
1) Donate lunch to a local oncology unit. Ask your doctor (or Google) for the number of a nearby oncology suite, there are many. Call them and ask if you can donate lunch for the nurses, doctors, patients and their families for a day. For $100 or less, you can provide food for the hardworking people who make your loved ones healthy and comfortable. If you order from a local sandwich/pizza shop ask if theyâre interested in donating the food, then it will cost nothing out of pocket.
2) Donate hats, blankets, fuzzy socks. Chemo can make you feel very cold. New knit hats, blankets and socks and are a lifesaver. One woman in my momâs ward would knit hats for the other patients while hooked up to her IV. She was badass and her hats weâre beautiful.
3) Talk to a local tattoo shop about donating their services to cover up radiation and mastectomy marks/scars. In order to make sure that the same area of skin isnât zapped too many times during radiation, patients are tattooed with small black dots. My mother checked with her rabbi to make sure this was OK (it is, duh). Some patients have chosen to alter and grow these spots into beautiful pieces of art. Here are some examples.
4) Quit sexualizing breasts (all the time). Yes, breasts are sexy. They are fun and bouncy and give all kinds of boners. Some breast cancer organizations have used this, or womenâs sexuality in general, to boost the signal of awareness (to whatever success, I donât know.) Although I cannot object to the way anyone chooses to deal with the trauma of cancer or fund itâs research, I can personally say that continuously (and only) seeing breasts as sexual organs can be exhausting and detrimental for patients and their families. My breasts are big and fun and sexy, but they are also constant reminders of why my mother died so young. And a threat of what might come for me.
5) Learn your family history and get genetic testing. Do you know who in your family had cancer? What kinds? How did they treat it? Did they die from it? Knowing this kind of information can give you and your siblings the leg up on getting tested. Rule of thumb is to start testing ten years before your parent was diagnosed.
There are also genetic predispositions to cancer that run in families. Think BRCA, think Angelina Jolie. These tests can be very expensive, but can also save your life. Ask your OBGYN or Planned Parenthood if itâs the right thing for you, then share that information with your family. Itâs scary, but wouldnât you rather know? On a positive note, if both of your parents are tested negative, you are negative. It cannot skip a generation.
6) Walk around a lake with your loved ones. Youâll see crowds of people in pink walking down river banks in every city this month. Many people take solace and pride in the community of these fundraising events. They do a lot of good. Itâs not for me. Itâs never been for me. Mobs of people exercising for breast cancer tend to give me panic attacks, but hey, thatâs my trauma.
But that doesnât mean itâs not a nice idea. Grab your family, pick a lake, and go for a walk with out the matching shirts.Â
7) Burn your bra. Why not? Fuck âem.
8) Do a self breast exam. You may be too young for a mammogram or ultrasound, but that doesnât mean you canât give yourself a quickie exam. Here are instructions. And if youâre paranoid that youâll miss something, just ask your doctor to do it for you. Or your partner (my father found my motherâs cancer). Hell, ask a friend, get close, experiment.
9) Donât buy pink shit or do, I donât care. If you have the choice between apple sauce with a pink ribbon or with out a pink ribbon, know that the one with the pink ribbon is most likely only using the symbol for marketing, and the percentage they donate is nominal. But if it makes you feel better, and youâre going to buy that apple sauce anyway, then go for it. But donât feel obligated to spend money on pink products because itâs October and theyâre making you feel bad.
10) Give cash to an organization that doesnât make your blood boil. Planned Parenthood and the National Breast Cancer Foundation are a couple to consider.
My name is Natalie Baseman and I am comedian, not a doctor. My mother, Bonnie, was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was five years old. She was an incredible artist and teacher who lived with cancer for over twenty years. Three months after mom passed away I had a panic attack at my gym upon seeing a group of gyrating, bedazzled pink women sweating it out to Britney Spears at a Zumba class for breast cancer awareness month. There is no shame in not participating, or finding your own way to deal. Happy October.
