Not Yet Perfect.

A blog about me and the crazy random findings of my brain, I love finding new blogs about random and beautiful things. Because every little thing is crazy and beautiful.

[natashafelldown]

Why are cars so expensive???? and why do they have to make them so difficult to obtain I mean seriously.... 20000 dollars and 6 years of payments that's absolutely crazy and ridiculous but hey what ever is needed especially when you have a growing family.... still crazy but hey how was your day??? maybe someone else has been having a great day and I'm just being pestimistic or something

[natashafelldown]

Car....

you know I never thought that I would be the person to say that I have a beautiful daughter and a amazing fiancé and a home and be completely content with life... I always thought that my life would be full of issues and problems because of my past but its amazing how things fall into place... and none of that has to do with a car lol but I got a new car and that's pretty damn amazing:) happy as a cucumber

[so-goth-deactivated20170909]

[natashafelldown]

because you know you had the greatest child hood when these girls are who you looked up too

[natashafelldown]

Children

watching a 5 year old and my daughter who is almost 4 months old ( almost 2 months corrected) I think its safe to say that my head is going to explode lol... but I love them both and wouldn't trade the for the world even if they are crazy and they make every thing loud and they make things difficult sometimes there great and I love it:)

[natashafelldown]

Having a preemie....

 when you cant touch your daughter when she’s in a box isolated from the world not knowing what is going on around her not knowing that she is in a new world outside of her mommies belly, that the warmth she is feeling is all fake and created by machines, and every breath that she takes is being pushed into her by machines controlling how much she breaths and that every little thing that she dose is controlled and monitored by doctors, nurses, nutritionists, respiratory therapists, occupational therapists coming and stretching her little limbs so that they don't get stiff and so that when they finally take her off of the sedation she can move her little arms and legs. Its not easy watching your little girl that's not ever forty eight hours old fight for her life. Its hard not being able to take your little one home like every other mother  getting to hold your little one after there born. being the mother of a preemie is not fun I never asked for it but even though there has been hell and so many obstacles to over come I wouldn't trade it for the world. My daughter means more to me than the whole world... nothing was perfect with my pregnancy with her and nothing has been easy with her to get her home and to get her to the point she is now but she’s  my daughter and she is everything I could ever ask for. Its not for everyone and I believe that I was blessed with this little girl and to be her mom because I could handle it because goddess knows I would love her more than the earth its self.. and with that I leave you with the quote by Mr. William Shakespeare Though she be but little she is fierce let her sleep for when she wakes up she will move mountains 

[natashafelldown]

So I'm finally going to try this whole thing again and hopefully I actually stick with it now that things are starting to settle down with life....maybe that could be my New year new me thing??? attempt to blog more.... sounds like a plan to me:) anyway I’ll leave this hear for now till later when I can sit down and type out my last four months and maybe make Heads or tales of it anyway have a good night lovely people have a great night. Merry meet all  

[natashafelldown]

I'm back!!!!

So I have been very far off in left field... But I'm back:) life is settling back down and things are back in order:) so hopefully I'm back to blogging the way I'd like to:)

[natashafelldown]

He's not a happy camper today.. Bath day is his least favorite day

[natashafelldown]

Sometimes perfect is obtainable

I Can Honestly say that some things just fall into place and sometimes, its so unexpected there is no way that they could work out that way ever again. I finally found the reason nothing ever worked the way that I planned. Because there was someone that was so much better that fit me so perfectly that Nothing could ever compare to it. Seems like this is completely and utterly random the way things worked but I wouldn't trade him for the world. Laying next to him hearing him breath and listing to his heartbeat is what makes me fall into pieces every time its what pushes me over that edge even more.. Thats what makes me realize there is nothing that I wouldn't do for that boy. When i look at his eyes all I see is the sky on a cloudless day and the ocean staring back at me. When I see him it makes me forget everything thats troubling me every little thing that has been running threw my mind all day it just stops. He makes time stop and speed up he's why I wake up everyday with a smile on my face. he is why I stayed and He makes me see things that i haven't seen in years. Having him in my life is what makes me keep trying he's my calm in the storm and the stars in my sky. Maybe this is what i have been missing. He is what i have been missing. My perfect drug my addiction. There isnt enough whisky in this world that could get me as drunk as he can just by touching me... Hes perfection.

[natashafelldown]

This is never what I was expecting...

So never was expecting that one day everything that I was thinking was going to be my happily ever after would turn into my demise, the thing that was killing me... When you look at this from the beginning you can see where things were going wrong and where everything started to go to hell. things started falling apart and the people that you would have trusted with everything that's who was holding the knife to your throat. Everything you held close to you was poison and everyone was out to kill you. I found out the hard way that I should have listened to my gut a long time ago. But then there was a light at the end of the tunnel an unexpected surprise it was perfect, perfect timing. It fits all the broken pieces together can calm the winds and the storms of everything that has happened everything you thought you could never have was suddenly there.. It was amazing and an addiction that you never thought you would have again things are finally falling in place perfectly

[natashafelldown]

Not so active my apologies

Sorry I haven't really been posting anything or even rebooting things but I have been supper busy with work and paintings for a friend things have been insanely hectic. I will hopefully be back to normal blogging soon enough when everything is settled down. But until then feel free to message me or whatever I will reply I swear anywho many blessings to you all

[fiftyshadesthemovie]

The wait is over. Watch and share the trailer for #FiftyShades

[natashafelldown]

Good morning / afternoon i hope everyone is doing well:) its been freezing here. Iv been thinking about life alot. And how sometimes we think things are going right and they are what are intended for us when they honestly are not.... Its not easy or fair to yourself but you have to save yourself from a sinking ship when something dosent feel right... Just a thought

[jacesmilesbte]

And now I’m looking at you,” he said, “and you’re asking me if I still want you, as if I could stop loving you. As if I would want to give up the thing that makes me stronger than anything else ever has. I never dared give much of myself to anyone before – bits of myself to the Lightwoods, to Isabelle and Alec, but it took years to do it – but, Clary, since the first time I saw you, I have belonged to you completely. I still do. If you want me. Cassandra Clare, City of Glass (The Mortal Instruments, #3)

(via kasperjacebte)

[coral]

I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.

 Edgar Allan Poe (via feellng)

[gosh]

I care so much I’m sick.

Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451 (via teenager90s)

[coral]

There is no pretending,” Jace said with absolute clarity. “I love you, and I will love you until I die, and if there is life after that, I’ll love you then.

Cassandra Clare, City of Glass (via feellng)