i'm not yours, i'm mine.

nat spencer. thirty-five. she/her. legal counsel for shrike mall.

[natashaspencers]

natalie dormer, queer, female + she/her ― hey look, it’s natasha spencer! they’re thirty-five years old, they’ve lived in shrike heights for eight months, and they’re currently working as legal counsel for the mall. i heard they’re pretty uptight, but i think they’re so caring at the same time. can they make it out alive?

for more context, visit blake’s intro !

tw under the cut: mental illness, divorce, parental death, domestic abuse

> nat had always been the most practical member of the spencer family. even her parents were a bit ditzy at times, the two of them caught up in the glitz and glamor of los angeles. nat was much more realistic in her expectations for her life, not believing that romance was as perfect as her parents made it seem nor that she would end up rich and famous like them. she wanted to have a simple life, a quiet job, and to use her mind in new and challenging ways. 

> she was old enough to see how her mother’s mental health declining though not old enough to help. it made natasha feel useless, helpless and trapped in place. her parents’ marriage fell apart in real time for natasha, and after her mother left, she withdrew even more. practicality. reality. that was what would keep her safe. 

> when it came time for her to go to college, she went to northwestern university, just outside of chicago, and far from her family’s public life and the never ending grind of living in los angeles, she found herself. she no longer felt like the weird one in the family, the one with her feet planted firmly on the ground rather than floating in the clouds. she excelled at school, and she made time to call her family every weekend and talk to her younger siblings. her dad, she could go without—and the wounds in their relationship would forever go unhealed. 

> she was in her second year at law school when she got the call about her father. already worried, the tragedy at jonestown only left her more confused and scared. losing her parents had left her with mixed feelings—her resentment for her lost childhood to their marital problems didn’t quite outweigh the grief, but it came close. all she knew was that she wasn’t going to let her siblings go into foster care, so she dropped out of law school, got a job as a waitress, and took them in. 

> nat wanted to be the parents to her siblings that her parents had never been for her—she waited on them hand and foot, giving up the rest of her life to make sure that they made it through high school and college, doing whatever was needed to make sure they were healthy and as happy as they could be in the wake of such a tragedy. 

> once they had graduated high school and nat no longer needed to keep such a close eye on them, she went back to law school. that was where she met her future husband. she rushed into the marriage too quickly; she’d never had a serious relationship and she was desperate for someone to help her shoulder the incredible burdens that had been placed on her. archer, her husband, proved to be nothing more than a lying scoundrel who liked to solve disagreements with yelling and a closed fist rather than a clear and rational discussion. 

> she stayed for what now seems like far too long, looking back. she divorced her husband last year and moved out to shrike heights to be close to her siblings. a well-paying job at the new shrike mall couldn’t hurt either, though she has certainly had her work cut out for her in the legal department. 

[natashaspencers]

retrocuts​:

Rosario’s work ethic was questionable to say the least. It wasn’t like they were lazy or anything, quite the opposite when they were motivated. It was more like they wanted to be able to have fun while they worked and certain tasks simply, such as mopping up a puddle in the front of Karaoke Dokie, didn’t allow that. “Wait seriously? It’s just a little puddle and I already saw someone bust their ass at the entrance of mall so I doubt anyone is going to really care that much if they wipe out here too.” Plus they thought all the customers that came to this specific place in the mall had a good enough sense of humor that they wouldn’t go around filing lawsuits against the already cursed mall.

“Besides, don’t we all have more life threatening things to worry about here than puddles? Like if I was a customer I’d be way more concerned with stepping in a trap than slipping, ya know?” Their tone was light despite the seriousness of what they were talking about. “I’m sure this will dry up and solve itself.” Unlike the more pressing and serious issue that was still somehow a problem. “So I really wouldn’t sweat it if I were you.”

///

Nat probably should have seen this response coming, but she just gestured vaguely through the entryway to the store at the woman inside. “Just get on the phone and call maintenance,” she said with an air of authority, which certainly grated on some people’s nerves, but Natasha had never faulted herself for. She knew that she was annoying and a goody two shoes, and that was how she had always been. Rules kept people safe, rules kept her mind in order, and she was certainly a stickler for them. It would be hard to be in the legal profession without finding some pleasure in memorizing a ton of rules—and, generally, a little pleasure in breaking them, though Nat didn’t really care about the latter. 

“I mean, sure, but do the little things and do them right, and the big things tend to work out a little better in your favor,” she said, gesturing around the mall. “Making sure that all of this keeps going, and hopefully better than it has been recently, will be enough to keep this place afloat.” Nat put her hands on her hips and let out a huff of breath. It was certainly exhausting, the way this place kept her on her toes. She wouldn’t have expected it from a small town like Shrike. 

[thcartierrug]

@katusha_golbart

[natashaspencers]

location: natasha’s apartment

closed for blake [ @wastcfm ]

natasha finally felt like she was settling into her place here in shrike heights. she still worried—as she had for years now—that there would be someone lurking behind the door, either her ex-husband or one of his friends trying to push nat back under his thumb. however, as the months had gone by in shrike heights with no problems, she started to loosen up. being closer to blake helped. she was feeling more whole, more in tune with the family she had held together and more in touch with the people in her life she truly cared about. 

when she opened the door she had a glass with two fingers of whiskey in one hand, her other arm reaching out immediately to pull blake into a hug. “you’re ten minutes late, i was about to send out a search party for you, sis,” she said with a grin. being around blake reminded nat of everything she had worked hard to build up in her life, all to make sure that blake and their brother would never have to want for anything ever again. 

blake and nat’s relationship was close, of course, but it was always marred by natasha’s parentification at a young age. she never had much of a chance to be blake’s sister, instead stepping into the role of being her mother when she wasn’t even twenty-five yet, and it had taken over her life for years as she navigated blake through high school and college, now, natasha wouldn’t take any of it back, but she mourned, sometimes, for the life they all could have had if it hadn’t been for their mother falling for the words of a madman. 

“i think the place is finally done. it only took, like, eight months, but it’s finally done.” nat spun around once in her living room, admiring the one bedroom apartment that was hers and hers alone. she hadn’t had a place like that in her life, ever. she had roommates, then she had her siblings, and then she had her husband. she finally had a space that was just hers, and it was telling that the one thing she wanted to do more than anything was share it with her sister. 

[natashaspencers]

location: shrike mall administrative offices

closed for vince [ @ofvincentdasari ]

Nat was sitting in Vince’s chair behind his desk when he came in. “My, how the tables turn,” she said with a devilish grin on her features, holding a shiny ballpoint pen between her hands and fiddling around with it as she turned around in the swivel chair to actually face him. She leaned back a little more, kicking her leg over so that her knees were crossed and gestured for Vince to take a seat. “It’s your turn to be in the hot seat, my friend.” Nat wondered if he would actually fall for her bit or if he would see right through her—probably the latter, but that was mostly because they had pulled these little bits on each other so often that she and Vince could practically read each other’s minds at this point. 

Still, it was good fun to see the split-second of concern flit across Vince’s face. A visit from the legal department generally meant nothing good, unless you were Vince and you were the legal department’s only friend. Nat didn’t know many people here, besides her siblings, and it was enough to drive her crazy. She needed social interaction to keep her battery charged, but the more she tried to get herself out there, the lonelier she felt when she couldn’t follow through. She was still having trouble trusting people after everything she had left behind in Chicago. 

[natashaspencers]

wastcfm​:

          there were a few times a day where luisa wondered what she was still doing there. for all intents and purposes, her life felt purposeless, if that was even a word. between taking care of her siblings and working, there was really nothing else going on for her and she wasn’t sure how much longer she could carry this out without snapping and maybe killing some people herself. okay, these inner thoughts were starting to scare her. truth be told, the brunette felt exhausted most of the time  ──  if not all of the time  ──  and it rarely boiled down to having to take care of her siblings, but more around the fact that she had to suck in a deep breath whenever her father decided to pay a drunken visit, which he had the night before, smelling of cheap alcohol and even cheaper women. it was stressful to try and keep him down so he wouldn’t wake esme or marisol, but once he slept peacefully, she was almost reminded of the dad she once had and it usually made her tearful  ──  which she absolutely hated.

it was no surprise that luisa was only half functioning that day. the night had been long and her last costumer had been this really old guy who had some disgusting warts on his back. most of the time she didn’t mind relieving people of their tension, but every now and then came a costumer that made her curse the good paycheck she got from the spa and how much of a good relationship she had with the other people who worked there. still, she needed a breather, which was why that on her break she decided to step outside after thoroughly washing her hands. it was specially hard feeling clean after that guy. she might have been outside for what? five minutes tops and she heard a voice that made her raised her eyes. luisa was rarely confrontational, except when it came to her siblings, otherwise, her expression was immediately soft.  ❛ oh, might actually be from someone coming out of the pool, you know, we try to tell people to get dry before going on their way but… ❜  the brunette let out a small sigh and gently scratched her forehead.  ❛ i’ll do something about it when my break ends, to be quite fair, seems impossible that with everything that has been going on, they’d file a lawsuit against the mall for a slip… unless they really hate the mall, which we have those around──❜  she pressed her lips together and shook her head   ❛ but i completely digress. i’ll take care of it in… ❜  the brunette glances at her wrist watch  ❛ fifteen minutes. ❜

///

“you’d be surprised at how easily people get litigious.” nat gave the other woman her most convincing, charming smile—which was pretty damn convincing. she’d learned how to smile for a camera when she was young; she knew just how to fake it until she made it, and moreover, she knew exactly how to use that in her favor. her childhood taught her how to fake it; her schooling and adulthood as a lawyer taught her how to make it. nat stepped into the spa and looked around the counter before finding a pad of post its and a pen. she jotted down the extension for the maintenance department, now burned into her memory after many such instances, and stuck it on the counter next to the phone. 

“just give them a call,” she said sweetly. “it’ll be done quickly. and then we don’t have to worry about anyone cracking their head open on the linoleum.” perhaps it was a bit of a bitchy mean girl move to fake a smile and sweet tone like that, but really, it was just nat’s way of being professional. most people didn’t respond to her general terseness with sunshine and butterflies; and, frankly, being a professional woman meant that she was going to have to grease some wheels to make sure things went in her favor. she was sure that if she was a man, she could go around barking orders whenever she wanted at whomever she pleased, but as a woman, people would never listen to her if she behaved like that—or, worse, they would listen to her then turn to each other and say awful, vulgar things. it had happened to her once before, and had, in fact, been the impetus for one of her most terrible fights with archer, but that was neither here nor there. she left him in the past. time to focus on the present. 

[natashaspencers]

screamy-tracks​:

There wasn’t that much longer in his shift, thank god. But the crowd dying down for the moment was making time drag a lot slower. There were only so many times he could walk around and straighten out the records and make sure that the cassettes were facing the right way on the shelves before he felt like he was going stir crazy. Jesse wished he was further in the store when Natasha walked by but sue him. Actually. She probably would so he would never say that out loud as a joke to her. 

When she stopped walking, he sighed and rolled his eyes before he took a step forward. He furrowed his brow as he leaned against the entrance to Tracks. Arms crossed in front of his chest, he let out a low whistle at the little puddle she’d almost stepped in. “If the custodians left it there when they were done cleaning, that should be there problem.” He wasn’t trying to be an asshole but hey. She wasn’t wrong. “I can always call someone. Or you can turn around a little and I can step in the puddle, mop it up with my back, and get to cut out early.”  Jesse flashed her a devilish little smile as he jokingly raised his foot towards the puddle. “So what’ll it be?”

///

Nat fixed Jesse with a glare, not interested in yet another incident of an employee having some sort of upper hand over the mall. It was already bad enough with every one of them looking traumatized as hell as they walked through the mall (which, she knew, had to be bad for business, but everything in this town seemed to be bad for business at the mall. perhaps that was what the killers wanted, though Nat wasn’t interested in trying to suss out anyone’s motive). She glanced down at the puddle and back up at him. “You have a phone in there, don’t you?” 

She knew that she was probably garnering a reputation around here of being a shrew, of being a horrible, evil, no fun disciplinarian, but from where Nat sat, it seemed like this place needed a little discipline. It was what had carried her through her adolescence and college years, and it was what served her to this day. She was responsible, consistent, and reliable. Most of all, she was a perfectionist, which was usually what other people, especially people she worked with, tended to see. Nat didn’t care. She was more than willing to be the bad guy if people needed a bad guy to blame. 

[natashaspencers]

irxdxscents​:

Location: Life Rose On

Status: open

“Oh man”, the blonde grumbled as she began picking up the basket of pre made bouquets. It was the third time this week someone had appeared to kick it over, and she couldn’t fathom why. “Who hates flowers this much to just kick them over on a daily basis?”

nat was walking through the floors of the mall with a little clipboard, feeling particularly nitpicky that day and drunk with the general impunity she had acting as the chief legal counsel. the minuscule amount of power she had was certainly going to her head quickly, and she made no secret of it. she made a note of the flowers before walking up to elise. “teenagers, probably. or a serial killer,” she added dryly, knowing that her joke could either be a hit or a miss, depending on if they could read her dry sarcasm as gallows humor rather than an actual dig at the serious predicament shrike heights found itself in. “i never got why teenagers get such a joy out of kicking things. it just doesn’t seem like that much fun.”

[natashaspencers]

location: shrike mall 

open @shrikestart​

Nat liked to make rounds of the mall every now and again, if only because her office back in the administrative part of the building was musty on a good day. The building was new—why did it feel like her office was at least fifty years old? Regardless of the state of her office, it was generally good practice for her, as the legal counsel for just about every dealing in the mall, to know how things were going out on the floor rather than remaining confined to her office all day. It was better to be prepared and preventative rather than vulnerable and reactive, especially considering what was going on in Shrike Heights these days. 

She paused, looking down at a puddle on the floor she had nearly slipped in, her brow furrowing as she stepped back, protecting the leather of her dagger-sharp heels before looking up. “Hey, uh—this puddle is in front of your store, you should probably get someone to clean it up. We’re looking at a hell of a lawsuit if someone slips and cracks their head open on the floor.” She put a foot out to test the slipperiness of the patch, and sure enough, if someone walked into it without paying attention, they were sure to end up in a very lucrative position over the mall as a whole. 

[humorblr]

DOOM PATROL: AMENDS PATROL