Bonded By Blood

Nathaniel De Luca "I'm just a 17-year-old depressed kid living in a loony bin. Pretty average life, huh?" Note: Strictly RP. Part of the group Darkness Like Clockwork. If you are not a member of this RP, please do not attempt to reply to one of my posts.

[nathaniel-deluca-blog]

What the fuck is that?

[stephtravis]

“Wow. Okay.” She replied with an almost amused tone. She didn’t know what to expect from Nathaniel at this point, but his reaction had hurt her. Not only because he was obviously upset, but because she knew she had nearly everything to do with it. Still, her defenses were up, and she would refuse to let do any more damage than it already had. “I didn’t realize I was such a bother.”

[nathaniel-deluca-blog]

"No! It's not even that. God, Steph, I'm just -" The boy frustratingly ran his hand over his face and let out a long sigh. He could feel the ground crumbling from beneath him. Why was it so hard to talk to her? "You can't just come in here and ask me how I'm doing. Especially when the answer is so obvious. You can't just use me as an option to help get over him, and then ditch me the first minute he shows interest."

[welostlauren-blog]

Red Sun Rises Like An Early Warning | Nathaniel & Lauren

[welostlauren-blog]

At the sound of weight shifting on the shingles, Lauren angled her head over her shoulder, squinting at the figure before realizing who it was. A sad smiled donned her features, though she tried desperately to look reassuring. While she wasn’t in the middle of any of the going-ons that took place in the house, she was a quiet statue that had to listen to all it’s whispers. Very seldom was there a matter Lauren wasn’t aware of, but she was honest enough to keep them to herself. Not her business, not her line to go talking about it. So, in short, she knew about what pained Nathaniel, and readily scooted over on the roof’s edge to offer more room for her companion. 

“Well, good morning sunshine,” Lauren said softly. Unable to keep her smile, she turned her head back to the view of the slow sunrise. “Didn’t think I’d find anyone up here, you of all people.” She joked, doing her best to ease into conversation, something she undoubtedly had trouble with. But if she could help take Nathaniel’s mind off his woes for but a moment, that would be comfort enough for her. “I know you like your beauty sleep.” 

[nathaniel-deluca-blog]

"Good morning yourself."  He replied with a cheesy grin as he brought himself over to her.  Sluggishly, he sat himself down, feet dangling over the edge while his hands clasped together between his knees.  Her gentle voice filled the silence, and he found himself releasing a breathy laugh.  Truth be told, he didn't even expect himself to be out and about.  Especially in the morning.  Nathaniel spent the majority of his mornings sleeping in, or loathing the fact that he wasn't in bed.  Either way, the afternoon had always been good to him.  "Yeah no kidding.  Gotta keep this face looking as handsome as possible, don't I?"  He joked quite obviously, seeing that he would never intentionally refer to himself as handsome and mean it.

"So what brings you out here?"  He asked with sudden curiosity as he turned his gaze over to her.  It was a strange coincidence that they both decided to come out on the roof on the same day, more or less, at the same time.  He couldn't help but become puzzled.  While he waited for that brief moment for Lauren to respond, he inhaled deeply, taking in the change in environment.  It was nice to get out.  He didn't do so enough, and frankly, he couldn't even recall the last time he stepped foot out from the walls of the house.  

[nathaniel-deluca-blog]

What the fuck is that?

[stephtravis]

“…Is it wrong for me to care now, Nate?”  It was obvious that he was still hurting, but she couldn’t help but wonder how he was doing.  Despite how happy she was with Tate, there was still a part of her that felt like a terrible excuse for a human being for what she did to Nathaniel.

[nathaniel-deluca-blog]

"No.  It's not, Steph.  I just didn't intend on having group therapy tonight with you and my 'feelings.'  Hell, I didn't even plan on having this conversation with you at all.  But I guess that's what you ghosts do best, right?  Show up whenever you damn well please?"  He said, more harshly than he meant to.  He couldn't understand why he was treating her so poorly.  He wasn't even mad at her.  Stop it, Nate.  You'll screw everything up.  "Look, can we just not talk about  this now?  Or is that all you came here for?  To check up on me."

[damagedlittlejesse]

“Deal.”

[nathaniel-deluca-blog]

"Good.  Now, I don't have to write it out on paper or anything, do I?"  He replied with laughter.  "I'm sure teaching fish how to climb trees won't be too hard for you."

[damagedlittlejesse]

“That’s were you and I are the same. I don’t know how to share feelings any better than fish know how to climb trees. It’s hard, i know. But what i’ve learned is that if you don’t at least let some steam out, it’s really going to mess you up inside. Regardless if you are already or not. But it’s fine, don’t worry about it. I probably would have freaked out too.” 

[nathaniel-deluca-blog]

"How about this; I learn how to be more expressive, without the freak out, or the emotional bullshit, and you teach those fish how to climb trees.  Deal?"

[damagedlittlejesse]

“Yeah, i was talking about Zac. And you know why? Because you asked and i felt like getting it out. Why? Because i actually think of you as a good friend and i don’t have that many. And i didn’t call you any of those things so don’t put words in my mouth. I can’t help it that i just want to help you, okay? So whatever. I’ll just leave you alone.” 

[nathaniel-deluca-blog]

"No - Jess, wait. Look, I'm sorry that I fucked this up, I am. I'm just really frustrated with all of it, and I can't help it. I'm not used to this. I don't do the whole "sharing feelings" thing, and when I try, it ends up like this. It's just so, argh!"

"I'm sorry.. okay?"

[damagedlittlejesse]

“Nate, you know, you aren’t the only one who’s having a hard time. Everyone has bullshit they’re going through. But the minute you have a breakup with someone that you’ve known for what, only a few months? You wallow in self pity. I really don’t mean to be a bitch, but the world doesn’t revolve around you and your problems. If you’re going to make it obvious that somethings wrong, the least you can do is let me help you instead of paying the ‘Feel bad for me’ game.” 

[nathaniel-deluca-blog]

"That's the thing! I'm not even trying gain sympathy or pity from anyone. I'm sorry that I'm human, Jesse, and I get that everyone else has shit going on too. I mean, were you not upset just a few minutes ago about Zac? I try not to tell anyone about what happened. I mean, if anything, only Violet knows how I feel because she came to talk to me about it, and thats kinda excusable, seeing that she was on the other end of all this mess. I don't mean to sound selfish, or self-centered, or even careless of what's going on around me, but it hurts and I can't help it. This isn't something you get through with help. I need to do this on my own. It'll take a while, but still."

[damagedlittlejesse]

“Well maybe it’s better if you just let it out..?” 

“Nate.. it’s just not good for you to keep this stuff in.” 

[nathaniel-deluca-blog]

"Jesse I can't, okay?! I can't! If I talk about it, I feel weak, and I don't want to feel weak. I can't let myself talk about it - I can't let myself think about her, because it hurts."

[damagedlittlejesse]

“Do you really not know? Or are you just not wanting to know because you don’t want to think about it.” 

[nathaniel-deluca-blog]

"I don't know, okay? Maybe it's both...but,"

[damagedlittlejesse]

Jesse furrowed her eyebrows and tilted her head. “Nate… you know that’s not what i’m asking about…” 

[nathaniel-deluca-blog]

"Yeah. Kinda why I didn't answer it though, Jess... I really don't know."

[mother-langdon-blog]

Everytime.

[mother-langdon-blog]

“Well he is a Langdon.  I’m sure your title doesn’t necessarily own a clean slate either, young man.”

[nathaniel-deluca-blog]

"I guarantee you, the De Luca name is a hell of a lot more clean than Langdon is."

[damagedlittlejesse]

“Well, i guess there are at least some decent people in this place.” 

She tilts her head. “So.. how are you?” 

[nathaniel-deluca-blog]

"Yeah.  Might also be because she's a little soft on me, but I'm not one to brag."  He joked with a slight chuckle.

"Me? I, uh... I'm decent.  Can't really complain, I guess.  Had a run in with a few of the nurses the other day, but, so what else is new, right?"

[damagedlittlejesse]

“You..” A small smile grew across her face and she took the locket. “Thanks, Nate. It means a lot, really.” 

Jesse held the locket in her hand, looking at it intently. “It was my moms…” She said quietly. “It was broken and rusted.. i had to even find a new chain for it. She didn’t want it so she just gave it to me. Even though it was in pretty rough condition.. it was the only thing she ever gave me. So it’s really important to me.” 

[nathaniel-deluca-blog]

"Ah, well I'm glad it's back to it's rightful owner."  He replied, chuckling a bit.

"Kinda figured it was important to you, from what I collected the other day when you were looking for it.  That orderly told me she would have washed it along with the pile of clothes, had she not seen it when she did.  She couldn't tell me what pocket it fell out of, but I guess it's just lucky that she held onto it."

[damagedlittlejesse]

“Yeah- you’re right.” She shook her head quickly and wiped her face roughly to get the tears away. She felt stupid and weak when she cried in front of people. 

“Sorry.” 

[nathaniel-deluca-blog]

"Nah, you don't have to apologize.  It's hard, I get it.  But uh, if it makes you feel any better, I kinda found something.  Well, not me, but I did ask around, and I guess one of the orderlies found it.  No biggie."  He explained, pulling out her locket from his pocket.

[nathaniel-deluca-blog]

[damagedlittlejesse]

“It’s just… these fucking doctors here. They don’t give a shit about Zac and not even expecting him to live no longer than a month.” 

“I don’t want to believe that.. but what if it’s…true?” 

[nathaniel-deluca-blog]

"Jess, I don't think they give a shit about anyone."  He meant this truthfully.  Aside from Vincent and Sawyer, he didn't really know about any of the other workers really caring about the patients.

"Even if it is true though, which I honestly doubt, you can't think about it too much.  I mean, what good is it gonna do if you spend his last month being completely upset about it?  You have to stay strong, not just for yourself, but for him too. Trust me.  I know exactly what it feels like."

[nathaniel-deluca-blog]

What the fuck is that?

[stephtravis]

“Blood?” She replied backing away from the wall, completely oblivious to the war going on inside his mind. She didn’t go to him that day to rub in his face that she was with Tate now. The girl only wanted to be able to move forward, and though she wasn’t sure how to, she felt as if trying to make things better with Nathaniel would help. “I think you may have to report that. There could be someone back there for all we know - but um…” Her gaze wandered nervously. “How are you?”

[nathaniel-deluca-blog]

"Yeah, probably."  He figured he would tell Vincent or one of the nurses later, but for now, it was just a stain on the wall.  Once her question processed through his mind, he froze up.  How exactly would he go about answering that?  He hated lying to her, more or less, avoiding it too.  But of all the questions, why did she choose that one?  He cleared his throat, and glanced over at the girl, with furrowed brows.  "I don't think you want me to answer that, Steph."