PHOENIX

Nathaniel Davis. General Mess of a person. Trans man. He/Him.

[nathanielxdavis]

“ what do you really think of life ?”

❝ It’s either magical or a mind numbing slog, depending on the morning. But it’s in our hands, at the end of the day. All we can do is hang on and do everything in our power to make sure we don’t fuck it up. ❞

[melamemea]

drunken confession.

your muse is drinking with mine and has been given the chance to question my muse anything they want to know. some may be triggering, others won’t. send me a 🍻+ the question you want to ask my muse for a tipsy, drunken ( honest ) answer.

“ what’s holding you back in life ?”

“ is everything alright? ”

“ when did you choose to give up ?”

“ what’s the kinkiest thing you have ever done ?”

“ how many have you slept with ?”

“ what’s your biggest secret ?”

“ do you believe in love ?”

“ what’s the meanest thing you have done ?”

“ what scares you more than anything ?”

“ have you ever considered running away ?”

“ do you love me ?”

“ what’s your dirtiest fantasy ?”

“ who hurt you ?”

“ what made you this way ?”

“ is there anyone special in your life ?”

“ why are you always smiling ?”

“ what lie have you told that hurt someone ?”

“ if you could do anything in world, what would it be ?”

“ who are you, really ?”

“ is there anything you regret ?”

“ what’s your biggest regret ?”

“ tell me about your first kiss ?”

“ what is your deepest, darkest fear ?”

“ is there anyone you regret kissing ?”

“ have you ever cheated, or been cheated on ?”

“ what is the most embarrassing thing in your room ?”

“ who have you loved, but they didn’t love you back ?”

“ is there something you have never told anyone ?”

“ when was the last time you cried ?”

“ how come you keep running away ?”

“ have you ever made someone cry ?”

“ if anything, what makes you hate a person ?”

“ what takes for you to fall in love, trust someone ?”

“ do you believe in true love ?”

“ what have you done that people would judge you most for doing ?”

“ do you regret letting me close ?”

“ is there someone you have a crush on ?”

“ what is the strangest place you have ever had sex ?”

“ tell me your most awkward date story ?”

“ do you ever get scared ?”

“ what do you really think of life ?”

add your own for further development.

[nathanielxdavis]

* WANTED CONNECTIONS –– 

THE OLDEST FRIEND –– good friends since early childhood, basically siblings to one another, always had each other’s backs when they needed it. 

THE HIGH SCHOOL HOOK UP –– messy teenage fumbling they can both laugh about together now, though it might have felt like life or death back then.

THE LASTING CONNECTION(S) –– nathaniel basically went off the grid after HS, but these people he stayed in touch with or reconnected with after he got his shit together.

THE PLATONIC SOULMATE –– the person he always just clicked with, kindred spirits.

THE UNREQUITED CRUSH –– he was always quiet about his crushes back in the day, but he carried that crush for a long time, always knowing it would never go anywhere. 

THE FRENEMY –– they snarked at each other through the ages, the kind of friends who always hung out together, yet were seemingly always low-key in an argument. they disliked each other, but often set that aside for the good of their other friends.

THE FONDEST MEMORY –– something that feels golden when he looks back on it, the kind of friendship he’d like to recapture if he can.

THE EX-FRIEND –– he hurt them somehow, somewhere along the line, and he always regretted it. 

THE NEW ANCHOR –– they never really gave each other much thought at school, but now that everyone has reconnected they’re finding that they get along much better than anyone would have anticipated. 

[nathanielxdavis]

[ HALE APPLEMAN. TRANS MALE. HE/HIM ] Look, it’s NATHANIEL DAVIS, did you know they now work as an ART CURATOR? You know, they can be a bit AFFECTIONATE & FRIENDLY, but they’re honestly SARCASTIC & SELF-DESTRUCTIVE. When I hear their name i think of THE BURN OF WHISKEY GOING DOWN A DRY THROAT, THE ANXIOUS BITING OF FINGERNAILS, WRY SMILES HIDDEN FROM SIGHT, SHAKING HANDS TWISTING TOGETHER. They also seem to be a bit NERVOUS, YET READY TO FACE IT about everyone getting together.

Full name: Nathaniel Andrew Davis Age: Thirty-Five Birthday: September 2nd. Gender: Trans Male Pronouns: He/Him

tw addiction –

Nathaniel always prided himself on his ability to coast through life. He never needed to be the centre of attention, he never needed to be a dazzlingly beautiful falling star. All he wanted was for the a status quo to remain untouched. There was a plan, of course. All teenagers have a plan. Nathaniel was going to enjoy his life with his friends, he was going to get good enough grades to get by in life. He was going to make the best of things, whatever life handed to him.

He’s cursed with an addictive personality. He becomes a falling star in the end, because of it. Dazzlingly beautiful. Burning up, burning out. Too much weed. Too much alcohol. He didn’t even have the honour to be the fun kind of degenerate party boy. He didn’t have the honour to understand it was a problem, either, the slippery slope he’s falling down. His ability to blithely coast through life becomes tattered and frayed around the edges, mounting pressure as his grades begin to slip, as his anxiety threatens to take over his life. Self medication seems like the only logical step. An upper to get him through the day, a downer to get him to sleep at night. Weed borrowed from too many people to count, too much alcohol at too many parties, sitting pretty as the fly on the wall.

He loses track of his the parental branch of his family, more or less, after high school. His relationship with his mother and father is a fraught thing, full of disappointment and weary sighs. Let him be the problem child, then. Let him forget to call for months on end, bouncing as he does from place to place. He makes a home in the city, makes mistake after mistake and wonders at how far down this hole can go –– how much farther does he have to fall before his shooting star collides with something, before rock bottom makes itself known with a smack and a bang?

He thinks he’ll always be a desperate thing. Always hungry for something, love or a drink or something to level him out. Now, in his older years, he’s desperate for stability. College came late for Nathaniel, but he worked himself to the bone. Worked himself into a job, and he’s even managing to love it. He intends to be happy with his life, he intends to do more than make the most of it. He wants to be brilliant, somehow. Brilliant or nothing at all.

Getting called home by old friends leaves him shaking, shaken, frighteningly hopeful. It’s a chance to prove he really does have his shit together, after all. That he won’t fall apart if you put him back into the boiling pot that led to him falling apart in the first place. He aches for the old days, for the easy friendship and the drama that felt so big. He longs to prove to himself that he can be wonderful, brilliant, more than anyone expected of him.

[potionbydjo]

One way or another, I’m gonna find you, I’m gonna get you. One way or another, I’m gonna win you, I’m gonna get you, get you…