Young Heart Old Soul

Twenty-Six, Queensland Australia

[destroymylife]

have a nice day :)

[destroymylife]

[najd-social-club]

[purplebuddhaquotes]

“I understood myself only after I destroyed myself. And only in the process of fixing myself did I know who I really was.”

— Sade Andria Zabala

[destroymylife]

[recaption]

[destroymylife]

[ruffrowdyboiz]

Sleep is literally the most pleasurable thing ever why do I deprive myself of it lmao

[recaption]

[smbtnae]

[hazyaffection]

“be prepared for thousands of “HE DOESN’T LOVE YOU AND PROBABLY NEVER DID” and you see, when you finally ran out of reason to hold on and when you beg your best friend to answer “was he real? were us real?” and “is it still love if it’s all pain?” you’ll realize darling, you will; you and him are not magnets that couldn’t decide wether to attract or to repel, your story isn’t a best selling tragedy book and he didn’t feel his ribs cracking when you two end. in the end darling, you’ll see, to him you are only a mistake not even worth remembering”

— owlandowly

[hazyaffection]

Stop crushing my heart like this

[hazyaffection]

and someone could break your heart and still be the good guy

[hazyaffection]

“Still loving you felt like disgusting habit. Loving you felt like skipping all the good part and went straight to the scrapped knees and setting my own heart on fire. At first it was okay, the fire won’t turn into poetry by itself. He was unfinished poetry. But I should stop playing with fire and pretending it won’t leave me with nothing once it burns me. But damn I like it, the me when I’m in love with you. Until it was just falling instead of falling in love. I hate the fire because I thought it will leave a mark in you the way it leave a mark in me but it didn’t. Still loving you felt like going back to read the same book I should’ve not written. Still loving you felt like regret.”

— owlandowly // still loving you felt like the only thing I could do

[hazyaffection]

“Don’t worry, you’ll find someone. You will. And this one won’t be a fading sound of heartbeats or flashback and traces of memories you swore you must forget. This one will teach you something new. Like, not minding being lost and confused for once. Like, you can smile just because someone smiles at you, and their smile will stay for a day, or a month. Like, living felt like gifting a gift to yourself each day. Like, love can be covered in trust and promises, and rain and the sea and everything you love mixed at one. This love will be an emotion and a choice as well. And no regret, just love.”

— hazyaffection // covered in trust and promises

[hazyaffection]

“I don’t know the exact date it ended but I still remember seeing you taking a step back in hurry and can do nothing about it beside taking a step back, too. Because; I got my pride to keep and you got circumstances to misread. Because; I don’t need love that left unwanted scars. Even though I know I need you and I need you and I need you. Because it was either getting used to feel the sting in my heart when you look like you regretted those 11 PM calls or stop loving you at once. So I choose to stop loving you at once. Even if it felt like setting any trace of you on me on fire. (I don’t think ‘I love you’s could save anything at this point)”

— hazyaffection // when will i stop writing on you

[hazyaffection]

“I don’t know what to label us, it keeps on shifting between “could’ve been” and “we never happened” and “WHY DON’T YOU LOOK AT ME THE WAY YOU USED TO ANYMORE”. Most of our conversation are cut short because I know this won’t go the way I wanted, I know you won’t say the words I wanted to hear. Say, maybe I’m a fool for making you left me. Say, maybe I just wanted you to try. I heard you’re not supposed to move on just because he has but damn what am I supposed to do when he look that happy with her. I know she won’t fuck this up. So maybe it’s not that I don’t know what to label us, maybe I don’t want to label us at all, maybe I just want to shove this to the dustbin, maybe I just can’t take it that he has moved on, maybe I still do love him. But let’s stop with this maybes, all I know is I should stop dramatizing the way he left me. My first question to him was probably “Was it painful to love me?” I should stop wondering when will he came back. He won’t.”

— owlandowly // I took a glance on the hourglass and see the top part empty.