Characters: Gavin Reed, RK900 (Richard) (mentioned), Elijah Kamski (mentioned)
Warnings: minor angst, but also a healthy dose of revenge comedy xD
a/n: The email thread a nosy Richard RK900 found in Gavin’s inbox one day. Safe to say, fanon Gavin is trash, but also lowkey a goddam hero who is also pretty damn intelligent, and I love him with all my heart. Also, this was meant to be some really heavy angst but it just…it just Gavin. Say no more. xD <3
It has come to our attention that you are in possession of an RK900 CyberLife prototype model with serial number 313-248-317-87. This specific RK900 model was activated on 10 November last year and released to the Detroit Police Department for means aiding with investigations of both human and android crime.
According to our records, it is apparent that you now have possession of this android in a domestic function. This can increase unpredictability in the android, since it was not designed for this function. We advise, in the first instance, that you consider purchasing one of our standardised, specialised domestic models such as the AX400 model.
We have also not received any feedback or update reports from your current model in over a month, so are concerned that software glitches could lead to unpredictable behavioural patterns in the android, known more commonly as “deviancy”.
We strongly advise you to get in touch with us at your earliest convenience to arrange for an engineer to assess the RK900’s functionality and ensure its software is still receiving the latest updates from CyberLife.
CyberLife Public Sector representative, Detroit.
I hope this finds you well.
I sent an email two days ago concerning your possession of an RK900 prototype model, serial number 313-248-317-87, and have yet to hear back from you. We at CyberLife always put our customers’ needs first, which gets a little tricky when we can’t talk to you.
Do you have an alternative email address you’d prefer me to use in future?
CyberLife Public Sector representative, Detroit.
CyberLife has been informed that you are illegally holding an unverified android in your home. The model RK900 with serial number 313-248-317-87 is not licensed for domestic use, or for sale, and so it remains, by law, the property of the manufacturer.
We have arranged for a pickup of the android at 07:00am tomorrow, 10/12. Should you refuse to hand back this unlawfully detained property, we will have no choice but to move forward with legal action.
CyberLife Public Sector representative, Detroit.
CC: <<the DPD dipshits TM>>; <<asshole Fowler>>; <<donut asshole>>; <<Tina bae>>; <<idk some other important motherfuckers>>; <<God>>; <<your mom>>
BCC: <<the fuckin FBI lmao>>
Dear Mr. Matthew L. Slater, CyberLife Public Sector representative, Detroit,
I have been informed that y’all are a bunch of fascist spies who like to waste their time illegally surveilling innocent civilians.
It just so happens I’m an actual cop, with all the evidence and nearly 15 years experience with which to fuck y’all over. I found the cameras you literally installed inside my apartment, which I’ve now debugged, and from which I’ve extracted all the footage you filmed of me drunkenly making out with my boyfriend on the couch at 3am last Saturday while binge watching Love Actually. I know exactly what you’ve been playing at. This evidence has gone straight to the DPD’s highest ranking officers, and is currently in the hands of civil justice (who, tbqh, are just jealous that a lil asshole like me can catch such a big-ass droid who’s ripped af. also confirmed he’s more human than most humans cos he fuckin cried when Mufasa died. who even needs the Turing test when you’ve got Disney rofl)
Anyways y’all are, to put it nicely, screwed. And the rest of CyberLife can kindly suck my dick and call me Mister one more goddam time.
Detroit Police Department, Detroit, Michigan, the United States of AmErIcA, Planet Earth, THe Fuckin UniverSe yEET
P.S. Oh hey, Elijah, because you’re probably reading this right now. Love you too. I’ve just sent the whole of CyberLife those pictures from Summer 2k15. They’re now scrolling across every CyberLife sponsored screen in downtown Detroit. This is the kind of bittersweet revenge that’s only possible when your boyfriend’s a prototype RK900 model who can hack the whole CyberLife system in 0.34 seconds. So, I guess I owe you a thanks for building him…’cause he’s the best damn thing that’s ever happened in the whole of my tiny, otherwise insignificant life, and I love him more than I’ve ever loved a single soul on this planet. So yeah. Hugs and kisses from “Misters” Gavin and Richard Reed <3 xoxo
2087
germansingergirl
blakekathryn
jbbartram-illu
tangentwithtanner
janainaart
izzy806
origamiaround
vaporwave
yousharknotpass
