pairing: professor!natasha x college student!reader
word count: 1.1k
<might be continued.>
what could you do to stop it? to stop the world from spinning around you, and the walls from caving in? your heart was racing so fast that you could no longer feel it.
you hand moved to rest over your chest now, to make sure that you still had a heartbeat at all. just to be sure. you clutched your shirt. ruffling your cute tank-top and likely stretching it out in that spot. not that you cared now, but you would later. when you got your shit together and on with your day.
your breathing hadn’t gotten any better either. your chest rose and fell impossibly fast. tears formed in your eyes, the kind you could’t stop, but you could at least withhold them to an extent. not allowing the tears to actually fall from your eyes. you couldn’t let that happen.
your head tilt back as your back made gentle contact with the wall, becoming reliant on it for support. your legs were forgetting how to hold your weight in the midst of all your internal chaos.
god, you felt so pathetic. you had to get it together, but sometimes you couldn’t. sometimes it just all fell apart.
this noise escaped you, that was pathetic. you whined? basically. your eyes finally closed and your jaw clenched. maybe it had been clenched all that time, but you consciously clenched it now. trying to get it together.
you were ridiculous. one text. one stupid text from the sorry excuse of a mother you had, and you were nearly bawling your eyes out in the bathroom. at college, to make matters worse. you had a class to be in right now, and yet here you were. making a scene.
your hand clenched tighter around the tank-top, willing yourself to calm down. you had to get back to class, you couldn’t afford to miss it.
then your heart dropped even further when you heard a noise, the clicking of heels as someone entered the public bathroom. god damn it. this was exactly what you didn’t want to happen.
it was too late to hide, or play it off. she was already stood just a few feet ahead of you, in the doorway. she stopped in the middle of opening the door. upon seeing you she had stilled.
her short red locks, button up blouse, and dress pants. she wasn’t even your instructor, and you still knew who she was. ms romanoff.
she taught all of the many languages she was fluent in, and she was known for being quite intimidating. learning a new language was hard—she made it harder. so you heard, anyways. you wouldn’t have her until next semester.
there was a brief hesitation as she stood in the doorway with a hand still on the door. she was thinking it through before she spoke.
“what’s going on?” her tone was calm, almost soft. not exactly what you expected.
her voice was naturally raspy, that you had heard from other students as well. that her voice was hot despite how sharp her words could be, but maybe that only made it hotter. there was no denying her beauty either. strutting around in a white blouse didn’t leave much to the imagination.
you had forgotten to respond, lost in thoughts. perhaps staring too much. the professor had spoken again.
“are you okay?” ms romanoff asked, now entering the bathroom and letting the door fall shut behind her.
you could only nod, even though it was a lie. why should you say otherwise to a professor here on campus? she had no need to know what was going on with you now. it wasn’t her concern.
her eyes were piercing. they were blue- no, green. you couldn’t tell. maybe they were a bit of both. those eyes looked you up and down as she stood in front of you.
“you’re not.” she stated, her voice leaving no room for argument.
then her eyes met mine, they were definitely green now.
“what’s going on?” she repeated, her hand resting gently on your arm now.
“n-nothing.” your voice betrayed you. breaking before you could even get one single word out.
her brows furrowed, damn, she was stubborn. you didn’t expect that. i mean, you didn’t know her. you knew of her, and she sure as hell didn’t know you.
“sweetheart, something is obviously wrong. i’m not going to ask you again. are you okay?”
god. something about how she spoke then made you want to talk about it. she coaxed it out you, that was terrifying. you didn’t want to speak and spill it out.
you shook your head no. she almost seemed to smile, almost.
“see. being honest isn’t that hard. besides, you can’t exactly hide it well.” ms romanoff said, her calm demeanor now was hardly professional.
your gaze fell away from her. down. at the floor, and her heels. they matches her dress pants pretty well. she knew how to dress, better than most instructors here.
you noticed her hand was still there, on your arm, because she gave it a small squeeze.
“hey. you still there?” her voice was calm, still. she was patient.
your eyes found their way back up to her now. you nodded a little, taking a shaky, but deeper breath.
“there you go. deep breaths. come back to me.” she said.
you listened, taking another deep breath.
“good, good.” she smiled then, she actually did. “you’re still here. you’re okay.”
you were so damn pathetic. you just got babied by a woman you didn’t know, who was a professor at your college. somehow it calmed you down, she did. and you weren’t even upset about it! you were just upset that you couldn’t be upset about it. that you liked it.
“i’m sorry.” you finally said. your voice shook, but your words were still whole.
“don’t.” she quickly said. “don’t apologize.” her words were firm, and certain.
“you’re human. sometimes it’s out of your control, you know?” she continued, her thumb brushing your arm. “i’ve been there. now i’m here, helping you. don’t be sorry.”
you swallowed, your throat feeling a bit tight. whether it was from the weight of her words, or the panic attack, you didn’t know.
“you didn’t have to help me.” you quietly said, unable to make any eye contact while you spoke. “thank you.”
“i know.” she replied simply.
then. “don’t thank me. get to class.”
she walked right on by you, into one of the stalls. she had come here to use the bathroom, after all.
you awkwardly stood there for a few seconds before you listened. your feet carried you out of the bathroom and down the hallway, to your class.
hi emmie!! I hope school has been going well!! I just wanted to tell you that I’m Catholic and decided to give up tumblr for Lent so I’ll be inactive until Easter 😭 this is gonna be the longest 40 days of my life and already missing you!! 😘
Hi love!!! hahah I feel like that was not a bad decision, hm? I’ll patiently await your return 😚
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