"You know what, it's not your life, it's life. Life is bigger than you, if you can imagine that. Life isn't something you possess, it's something you take part in and witness." - Louis C.K.
I can remember every single detail of this very day last year. Of course, people generally remember their birthday's, for obvious reasons but, mine was different. I turned 25 years old, one of the largest milestones for any young adult. It's the age where you're legally allowed to rent a car without crazy insurance policies, your finances are supposed to be in order, and for some, the age when your elders expect for you to have been married with baby number one on the way. I wasn't interested in any of that, my main interest was how I was going to survive another day.
I went to sleep the night before in tears. I was sad for a multitude of reasons, but the main ones being that I was turning a year older and had nothing to show for it show off. At 25, I thought I was going to be driving the latest Mercedes Benz G-wagon, be engaged and have a career that paid me 9-figures...a girl can dream. Instead, at this point I had gone without a car for 9 months, love was far from an interest of mine and that 9-figure job?LOL. I would have been more viable to find $20 on the ground than to even fathom what it felt like to have a job to report to. I was broke, broken and after consulting WebMD for about 35 minutes, I came to the conclusion that I was mildly depressed.
Let's backtrack a little bit....
January 18th, 2014, I picked up and moved across the country; against my father's wishes,with $1500 in savings, two suitcases and a prayer. Two months prior to my move, a ton of negative things were happening in my life so, I changed my intentions and began attending a church that I liked. I heard God was dashing out blessings to those who were active visitors in His house. I've been a sorta-kinda Christian all my life. Went to church because it was what I was supposed to, prayed the trinity and listened to a few Marvin Sapp tunes here and there. I thought that was all I needed.
It was in the second week of my move that I realized that being a lukewarm Christian wasn't going to take me anywhere. The place I thought I was moving turned out to be nothing I had imagined. I was sleeping on my friends couch, deathly afraid of the cat that lived underneath it. Our friendship started to get shaky when she asked me for my half of the rent and went completely left when a slight disagreement in the grocery store turned into an awkward situation. How could I fully express myself while living under someone else's roof? I couldn't go home, I wasn't even a full month in. I ended up moving to my Aunty's place a little closer to SF but, still, not what I thought. In one month, my name had become "Aunty Nneji". As cute as that may be, I was in no place to be anybody's Aunty, I didn't even feel like an adult. I went to spend the next seven months at my aunt's place. Every day, I woke up and sent out what seemed to be 1000 job applications into the black hole of the Internet. I would get a few callbacks, but never any offers. Even with the H&M-Germany fellowship I was offered, my gratefulness was still lacking.
It honestly wasn't until this very day last year that I knew my life was to be lived like Christ, for Christ and through Christ. I made it clear that I would no longer walk in the shadows of anybody else who may have seemed like they had more than me.
Fast forward to today, it's September 3, 2015 ...there are no feelings of sorrow around me. In fact, there shouldn't be, I'm in Dubai celebrating life! From the bedroom floor tears and all last year to one of the most amazing places to be in the world this year. You cannot tell me that God is not good. Nobody can tell me that the God I serve is never on time. I am forever grateful for the hard times last year. The tears, the many times I'd been told no, my joblessness and the 6-10 grey hairs I grew.
As I'm typing this "Osondi Owendi" by one of the greatest Nigerian musicians of all time, the Late Mc Loph, just began playing. For my non-Igbo speakers, Osondi Owendi translates to 'What is cherished by some people is despised by others', 'some people are happy, others are sad, do what you want because people don't matter.' or... if you like, vex. Na you sabi...the last translation is my favorite, because it's straight and to the point.
There will be oppositions but with the Lord on your side, you can most definitely do anything.
. God will triumph over all of the enemies. The only thing is, it won't happen when you want it to.
I believe that God purposely puts us through what we think at the time are the worst conditions, he tests us like no other.
As soon as you become comfortable, just know that things are about to get shaken up.
Keep reading the word, strive for greatness....even when you feel like you've done all you can do, God can and will bring you to higher heights, showing you that the things you feel are unattainable can be granted to you as long as your trust is in Him.
If you're going through something right now, just know that you were called to go through it. You're not gonna get stuck there, you're not going to die. You will survive.
You can do whatever you put your mind to, the only thing is that you have to believe you can do it.
Happy Birthday to me and all you beautiful September babies.
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