@naturesrevenge - Tumblr Blog

I feel like the only way to break my spell of anhedonia is to like fully lean into my impulsive true nature. Which is what I have worked so long to consistently restrain. But now that I am out here actually doing shit, I feel myself waking up. Coming back. I get these moments where I actually feel again and it's out of control.

I am just meant to be a lunatic, ig. And I can afford to be, because ultimately I am a good person. A little oblivious, sure. Desperate in the past. But now I have an agency that I was lacking before. I need to keep focusing on myself. And remember that people come and go. Nothing is permanent and that's a good thing.

#Youtube

Haven't used this much in a while. Especially not to make text posts, but it's been a lovely and simultaneously painful 6 months. Wouldn't trade it for the world, though. I've got amazing friends in Spokane, Portland and CDA now. I've got 2 little brothers. Transition going well. Holy shit I get hit on at shows a lot, lmao. Not used to it after being secluded with my shut-in GF for so long.

After dating someone who routinely put me down for my looks, it's nice to realize I can actually pull cute guys left and right. Dating and talking to a few now. Wish I got the socials of this hardcore punk I met named Chance.

My inexperience makes me goofy for sure. I don't pick up when men are flirting until after the fact lmao. When he showed me his tongue piercing I was like... uwu nice hehehe. So cringe. He showed me pictures of his goth phase, too.

It's interesting being like one of the few people in the scene that tries to look goth/80s punk, too. Well my Lil bro does, too, but he's like the masculine version of me. We always end up getting a ton of attention wherever we go, sometimes negative lmao. Also chaos just seems to unfold wherever we pop up at. The Cure has spontaneously started playing in our proximity in random shops on at least 3 occasions now. It's almost magical. Love that dude.

Life is a wild and scary thing, though, and I am burning as brightly as I can now as my depression has finally lifted.

#Youtube

Our father in Heaven

Please don't desert us

In Our hour of need

#Youtube

animarchive

Poster for the Ginga Eiyuu Densetsu/Legend of the Galactic Heroes movie “Waga Yuku wa Hoshi no Taikai” (My Conquest is the Sea of Stars) in the November 1987 issue of Fanroad.

Illustration by Matsuri Okuda and Hidetoshi Kaneko.

deliriatremens

weepingwidar

Krzysztof Gil (Romani-Polish, 1987) - Hydra (2024)

shitiunderline

My rational self seems less assured these days, less confident. Things happen in your life. Terrible things. Great, obliterating events where the need for spiritual consolation can be immense, and your sense of what is rational is less coherent and can suddenly find itself on very shaky ground. We are supposed to put our faith in the rational world, yet when the world stops making sense, perhaps your need for some greater meaning can override reason. And in fact it can suddenly seem the least interesting, most predictable, and least rewarding aspect of yourself. That's my experience anyway.

Nick Cave, Faith, Hope and Carnage