I have a question for trans and genderfluid people
I'm a woman and I'm pan. But idk how to explain it I've always liked women in a "man- way". Like I always watched straight porn to look at women and put myself in the man's position (something I did even before realising that I was into women). I don't "connect" with lesbian porn but I feel some type of way about gay porn (I'm not fetishizing them). Also this is not just about porn, it's not all sexual. I also feel more "connected" to mlm relationships. I don't hate being a woman but also want to be a man sometimes. Am I trans or am I just genderfluid? All the experiences that I've read are from people who have always known. I am terrified at the thought of being trans because idk how my family would react but I'm not letting that effecting my thought process. I've always idealized drag queens. If I were to be a trans man I would be a very feminine one. So I don't know if I've felt gender envy in that way.
I read a tweet about how a women feeling more connected to gay relationships might as well be trans. I don't know anyone irl how could help me and I can't access therapy rn. So please if there's anyone out there who has experienced something similar please share your experiences if you are comfortable. I would be very grateful. Thank you
The Mumbai penthouse was a monument to ambition, its glass walls reflecting the Arabian Sea’s moonlit shimmer, its marble floors cool underfoot. Modern art—bold abstracts in crimson and gold—adorned the walls, and a sleek bar glowed with amber bottles. The air carried the city’s humid pulse, laced with salt from the sea below. Karan Malhotra stood on the balcony, a glass of single malt in his hand, his broad shoulders taut beneath a tailored navy kurta that hugged his 6’1” frame. At 39, he was a paradox—too handsome for the gritty world of politics, with a chiseled jaw softened by a salt-and-pepper beard, dark eyes that could silence a room, and a presence that felt more Bollywood star than backroom strategist. His broad chest and strong arms, honed by early morning workouts, strained subtly against the fabric, drawing eyes even in private. As a rising politician, he commanded Mumbai’s cutthroat scene with eloquence and integrity, but tonight, his mind wasn’t on power. It was on her.
Nia. His wife of six months. The 27-year-old beauty who’d been thrust into his life through an arranged marriage neither had wanted but both had accepted. She was downstairs now, in her room—a guest suite separate from his, as per their unspoken pact. He could still picture their wedding night, six months ago, under a canopy of jasmine and fairy lights. Nia had stood poised in a crimson lehenga, her black wavy hair cascading over one shoulder, her gold waist chain glinting against her golden skin. Her brown doe eyes had met his, unreadable but steady, and when he’d suggested separate bedrooms, relief had flickered across her face. She hadn’t questioned it, hadn’t argued. She’d nodded and moved her things, her saree swishing softly as she left him standing alone.
Karan swirled the whiskey, the ice clinking faintly. Nia was a paradox—a dutiful Indian wife who played her role flawlessly in public, yet at home, she was a ghost, slipping through their shared space with a detachment that unnerved him. Not unkind, never that. Just… distant. She cooked his favorite aloo paratha, the dough rolled to perfection, served with a fiery chutney that burned his tongue just right. She ensured his shirts were pressed, his schedule aligned, and at campaign events, she dazzled, her smile radiant under camera flashes, her hourglass figure draped in sarees that made headlines. But when the penthouse doors closed, she shed the role, trading silk for loose shorts and tank tops, her braless curves moving with a careless grace that set his pulse racing. He gripped the balcony railing, his jaw tightening. She was too good for him—too young, too vibrant, too alive for a man hardened by years of political maneuvering.
He’d married her for optics. Every politician needed a wife to soften their edges, to silence whispers about their personal life. Nia, with her flawless skin, full lips, and traditional-yet-sexy allure, was the perfect accessory. But she was more—sharp-witted, poised, a woman who could hold her own in a room of sharks. It unsettled him, how much he noticed her. Her body haunted him—the way her sarees clung to her small waist, the curve of her hips, the fullness of her breasts. He’d never seen them bare, of course. They’d never touched beyond a chaste hand on her waist for photos. But he imagined them—golden skin, brown nipples, soft and heavy in his hands. His knuckles whitened around the glass. Stop it, Karan. She’s not yours to want. She was a young woman trapped in a marriage with an older man, and he refused to be the husband who demanded what she didn’t offer.
Yet, why was she so dutiful? Even alone, she played the part—folding his kurtas with precision, asking about his day with that resting bitch face that made her impossibly alluring. Did she pity him? Resent him? Or was it something else? He remembered his mother’s visit last month, her eyes gleaming as she praised Nia’s beauty: “She’s a jewel, Karan. Don’t let her slip away.” The words had twisted in his gut, making him feel like a predator, despite Nia’s quiet acceptance of their arrangement.
Downstairs, Nia sat cross-legged on her bed, a book open but unread. The guest suite was her sanctuary—soft whites, a teak bookshelf, a window framing Mumbai’s skyline. She wore a loose tank top and shorts, her hair loose, her face bare of makeup. From her window, she could see Karan on the balcony, his tall silhouette against the city lights. His 6’1” frame was unmistakable, his broad shoulders and strong arms filling out his kurta. He was too handsome for politics, she thought, his dark eyes and sculpted features better suited to a film set. She’d seen women at events stare, their whispers trailing him. Yet he never seemed to notice, his focus always on the next speech, the next vote.
She closed her book, her fingers tracing the spine. Folding his shirts earlier, she’d paused, the fabric still warm from his body. It was a small act, one of many she performed without question. But why? Duty? Habit? Or something deeper, something she wasn’t ready to name? She’d married him because she had little choice—her parents had seen Karan as a catch, a stable man with a soaring career. But stability felt like a cage, and his kindness only made it harder to resent him.
Karan’s phone buzzed, pulling him from his thoughts. A message from his aide: Gala tomorrow, 7 PM. Press confirmed. Mrs. Malhotra’s presence requested. He pictured Nia in a saree, the fabric molding to her curves, her gold waist chain catching the light. His throat went dry. He needed to stop this obsession. She deserved better than his lustful thoughts.
Inside, he crossed to his study, the room lined with books and campaign posters. He skimmed a speech draft, his eloquence evident in every line, but his mind wandered. The pressure to maintain a flawless image was suffocating—every move scrutinized, every rumor a threat. Nia was his shield, her beauty and grace silencing doubters. But at what cost to her? He sank into his chair, the whiskey glass cold against his palm, and wondered if she’d ever look at him the way he looked at her.
I had a dream that a bunch of people were making jokes about how the economy was so bad that gay people couldn't afford closets and were just "in the corner"
my favourite instagram account is "wheredoesthepeecomeout" and it's run by a girl who asks men on tinder where cis women pee from and then documents their answers
For those who don't understand, EBT are food stamps (government money for buying food for low-income people). Because the money is from the government, it comes with horrific restrictions, one of which is you cannot buy "prepared" food with it. You can only buy raw chicken, not cooked chicken, for example.
This kitchen is getting around that stupid rule by selling you raw, unprepared chicken, and then charging your EBT account for raw, unprepared chicken.
Then as a side thing, totally unrelated, they cook the chicken for free. Since you bought raw chicken with the EBT, it's legal. There's no law against cooking people's raw chicken for free for them. That's just charity.
This kitchen is a blessing to anyone who doesn't have a kitchen of their own.
Fun fact: technically, because of its inability to roar and its ability to purr, the cheetah is not a ‘big cat’ (or Great Cat) - they are still classified as Lesser Cats.
Also you haven’t heard anything until you hear them cheep.
Disclaimer: this is just for entertainment purposes, and as a pick-a-card reading it may not resonate for everyone. Also, this content is 18+ only!
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Voting ended onMay 6, 2024
Pile 1
Who are you dating next
Eight of Cups, Moon, Tarragon - Regeneration
The first thing I'm getting for this person is that they could be a scientist or work in research, maybe even as a teacher. They seem like really deep thinkers and people who are very well-read or that tend to read a lot. Besides spending a lot of time and energy on their work - that seems to be their passion - they also look like they really enjoy traveling. Some of them may have to travel for work (and now I'm seeing that some are archeologists or something like that), but most seem to travel for pleasure. No matter what your next person is someone who has travelled a lot and has seen a lot of the world - and even if they haven't travelled "that much" it could be that you haven't travelled much at all so that's why it seems so much.
Your person is also a very deep thinker. I'm getting something very specific about them which is that they like to get to the depth of any subject. Let's say that you're talking about your favourite dishes, your person wants to get to the bottom of the subject, they want to analyze why you love those dishes, the memories you have of them, how hard or easy they are to cook, then they may get into the culinary arts in general or the history of food or something like that. Do you know what I mean? Once you start talking about something with them it's like they unravel the subject as if it were a ball of yarn.
Your person seems to be an introvert. They don't really like crowds and tend not to go out or party too much, they prefer to keep to their friend group or to small groups in general. I feel that this is also related to how much and how deeply they like to talk, it's better suited for smaller groups. For some of you it might also surprise you that this person is more spiritual than you thought. They might not practice anything in particular (including religion), but they very much believe in something bigger than them and are very open to the spiritual side of things. This is also someone who has been through a lot and has had to reinvent themselves multiple times. I feel like your person is very wise and has a lot of life experience specifically because of this - they've just been through so much shit that would have broken down any other person.
When it comes to their appearance I'm seeing pale skin - and depending on skin tone you can even see their veins - and dark hair. Mostly black and brown hair, but I'm also seeing red (dyed I think). In general, they seem to be taller and leaner. Even for the men they don't like they are very muscled. I'm also seeing that some of them have dark circles under their eyes. So what I just heard was that they "look a bit like a fucked up Tim Burton character come to life" lol. I do think that they are good-looking but in that Timothée Chalamet type of way. Also, I think that your person has huge eyes!
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Pile 2
Who are you dating next
Three of Wands, Strength, Marigold - Positivity
The first thing I'm seeing for this pile is tanned skin and defined muscles. Your person looks like they spend the whole day under the sun. I'm literally seeing them wet as if they had just come out of water. An interesting detail I just got is that they have body hair, especially for the men they seem to have hair on their chest and tights. I feel like for most of you this person has really dark eyes, the lightest color I can see here is a darker shade of hazel eyes. No matter what they have warm and very expressive eyes. It's the type of eyes that you feel safe just looking at them, honestly.
Speaking of warmth and safety I think that your person just radiates those vibes, especially if they're a man. They seem/are someone who's reliable and handy, basically someone who you can call at any time of day or night and you know that they'll find some way to help you. They also seem the type of person who really cares about the safety of your friends, not just yours. This is very specific to some of you, it doesn't really apply to everyone, but your person also has a bit of a himbo energy. Like they have a really good heart, very good looking and strong looking too, but not much going on in their pretty head. But, again, this is just for some of you! For most of you this is someone who is pretty smart and very aware of the current political/social climate.
One of the main things I'm seeing is that your person is very hopeful and definitely an optimist. They try to cheer you up whenever they feel like you're feeling down or when you need just an extra push of motivation. The thing that keeps coming up though is that isn't just for you it's for your friends, their friends, the people around you two. It makes me think of those guys who only want to buy a drink to the girl they're interested in instead of the whole group and it's the polar opposite of that. If you're hanging out with your person and your friends, your person will make sure to treat your friends well and make them feel welcomed.
For some reason I feel like your person might be a firefighter or EMT, I'm not sure why, but it seems like more of a physical/manual type of work. This person doesn't look like they're sitting behind a desk the whole day. They might work the night shift too. No matter what they do, their work is a source of satisfaction for them and their "way to contribute to society" so it's important that their work aligns with their values. This person has a bleeding heart and they're always trying to help whenever they can. They might do volunteer work or community work of some kind, but this is someone who really cares about their community and the world around them. A bit random, but your person might cry very easily, just like watching a commercial or something like that. It seems that they are very emotional. A bit like pile 1 in that sense, but I also feel that your person has been through a lot and that's exactly what made them kinder and made them worry more about the people around them. Very, very specific but I think that hunger and poverty is something that really "hurts" them if that makes sense. It would be the thing that they would just erase if they could.
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Pile 3
Who are you dating next
Sun, World, Sweet corn - Ritual
Okay, the first thing I'm seeing is that your person loves eating and cooking and feeding people to be honest. They see meals almost as a sacred ritual that helps to create stronger bonds with other people. I feel like they're really good cooks, especially because they have a good palate. Your person also seems like the type of person that is really close to their family, like calling/texting them every day, sharing a meal together every weekend, that kind of stuff.
This person might have OCD or something like that, but their daily rituals seem very important to them. They are someone who loves routine and feel a bit anxious when things don't go as they had planned. Honestly, that seems to be the biggest issue for them they get really disappointed/annoyed when they plan something and it doesn't happen, even in simple things. Let's say that you two plan to go watch a movie and eat popcorn, but when you get there there ins't popcorn. Well your person is devastated. It's only for a couple of moments, but yeah it really hits them strong.
With the Sun and the World though, this is a very successful and hard-working person, but also someone who is very happy go lucky. Like they genuinely believe that life is beautiful and a miracle and they will romanticize even the smallest things. They seem like the type of person who will just tell you "it's going to be fine" even in the face of something absolutely tragic and that couldn't possibly "be fine" (somehow they may end up being right though).
They seem to have a very child-like and radiant personality too if that makes sense. In a way it's because they really attract other people's attention just for being themselves, but also because they just seem so genuinely happy and joyful. When they laugh it makes other people want to laugh as well. You may get an instinct to protect them at times, because it seems that they are too innocent for this harsh world. They're definitely dreamers and they think that even the smallest action can change the world. They have strong beliefs about what they think is wrong with the world and what should be changed.
When it comes to appearance I'm seeing blonde or light brown hair, maybe even some ginger here too or maybe a brass tone. In general, I'm seeing really long hair, especially for the women, and mostly wavy or curly. Although I think that the shorter your person's hair is the curlier it is. For their eyes I also lighter eyes here, even the brown eyes are more of a honey shade. The most striking thing though is that your person - no matter what they look like - is very beautiful. They get other people's attention precisely because of how physically striking they are. I feel like they tend to be very symmetrical and their bodies are very good looking too. It seems that they tend to be taller and curvier, both men and women.
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Pile 4
Who are you dating next
Two of Wands, Ten of Wands, Peppermint - Success
While doing the reading for this pile "Ocean Eyes" suddenly came up so I really feel like your person is probably going to have blue or green eyes, maybe even hazel too. I also feel like their eyes have this very emotional quality to them, it's like you could get lost them in them because they're so expressive. Honestly, I get a very big Ian Somerhalder vibe here like with the dark hair and very light eyes and that contrast. I think that in general your person is a person of contrasts, of light and dark and even contradictions.
Do you know that Walt Whitman's poem "Do I contradict myself? / Very well then I contradict myself / (I am large I contain multitudes)"? I think that they really embody these lines. I'm also getting Fernando Pessoa's "I am nothing. / I shall never be anything. / I cannot even wish to be anything. / Apart from this, I have within me all the dreams in the world." Your person is very, very poetic pile 4. Maybe they're into literature (especially the classics) or they really love reading/writing poetry. This person is very deep, but again, filled with contradictions. They are hard to understand because they seem to be many things all at once. It's a very Gemini energy to be honest.
Apart from this your person is also very successful. They may come from money or they worked really hard until they got to where they are. No matter what though they dedicate a lot of their time to their work, to the point that they can't even rest properly because they can't take their mind off work. Some of them might also have some personal project or a business that they feel very passionate about and are just waiting for the right time to "launch" it. They're someone who makes a lot of plans, but not like in pile 3, more in the sense of making a plan to break down the steps that they need to take. This is for organization not control, if that makes sense. They also seem to really enjoy traveling, but either don't have much time for it or they end up getting tired in the middle of their trip. They feel like the type of person who has wanderlust, but also gets homesick easily.
They are introverts for sure, and although this doesn't mean that they're antisocial it really does feel like they spend more time at home or by themselves. To me this feels more like they never really get the company that they crave. They really need mental stimulation, and the people around them can't really offer them that. Something that's coming up is that they might struggle with the little demon and angel on their shoulders sometimes. I feel like the little devil sometimes really wants them to cause some mischief or chaos and they try to control this. Honestly, what I'm getting from this is that they may annoy you on purpose, for their own amusement. I don't think that this is toxic, it's more meaningless stuff that will make you laugh rather than really annoy you.
What I can tell you pile 4 is that your person is very, very unique. I think you'll know it's them as soon as you meet them because you'll think that you've never met someone like this.
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