[naylacecilia]

L’automne dernier à Hampstead

[naylacecilia]

Paris et Rome

[fortuneaday]

[brucespringsteencomments]

[naylacecilia]

i have not experienced love and not been successful at anything and not even enjoyed being young and stupid i was always so serious and sad and now it’s too late for anything

[naylacecilia]

Still feeling the same years later...It doesn't affect me that much now, but still I think that if it was to waste my youth and live a reclusive hermit's youth, I could at least have done something like studied to become a doctor. Maybe then it would have been worth it. But oh well...again, I am content now, and made peace with not living a particularly special life

[fortuneaday]

[A white fortune cookie paper with blue text. Front: Your ability to find the silly in the serious will take you far. Lucky Numbers 45, 37, 42, 55, 39, 43 Back: September, Chinese text 九 (jiǔ) 月 (yuè)]

[naylacecilia]

I am afraid of how emotional I can get and how I see the world when I break down and I and don’t like it but also don’t want to be 25 and look down on myself from now and think I was too emotional and now know how to handle myself because I don’t want to control myself

And right now I am at a celebration for the summer solstice all on my own and don’t even know why I am even here now and I am reading Franny and Zooey and Zooey is scolding Franny for her saying her Jesus prayer and I feel the same like I am stupidly holding on to something spiritual

[naylacecilia]

Lol I am 25 now and I was definitely too sensitive and on edge! And I definitely totally feel more like Zooey now, as I knew I would! And I hated the thought that I would grow older and look down on my 20-year old self this way and be like all the older adults who used to say I just needed to "losen up"/enjoy life/not take everything to heart but I'm happy I joined these older adults now:) And I have a lot of the same insecurities I used to have, and I'm definitely still sensitive to the same things, but I feel so much more content now

[naylacecilia]

my childhood memories is ants up and down my legs when sitting in the dirt, waving hello to woman and child from the garden fence, learning to swim at 3, tree branches "tipis" in garden, waking up in car during thunderstorm, powerpuff girls, my nanny cleaning my nose and her red dress with a big pocket with an apple stitched on, pretending i forgot what my 5th birthday present was because i didn't want my parents to feel bad i peaked (it was a little wooden box with drawers and teapots on top), the smell of caterpillars in a shoe box that were sold out of school, buying dvds in the medina in rabat, reading all "j'aime lire", painting with nail polish on a turtle's shell, poking at sea anemones at the ocean, watching a praying mantis, hibiscus flowers opening up in the morning, climbing the tree, jumping tile to tile in the garden, running around the garden, all my friends from class at the amusement park called magic park for my 7th birthday the last time i was happy and felt like a real child and had so many friends loving me

after that i never felt like a child and i have no good memories. i have been so serious from age 8 and i don't know why, in middle school i felt so old, i wish i could turn back in time and enjoy it. nothing particular happened to make me feel like that, so i don't know why it was, but maybe just hating my body

i would like to write a memory i have from each age

[naylacecilia]

three years ago was so good! it was my 3rd year of university, all my friends were on erasmus but not me but it meant i studied a lot and did better with my grades, i used to take german classes and there were old people in my class and i loved it so much, i used to work at the supermarket in maisons-laffitte every day after class and i loved my friends there from the supermarket who were born in 98 too and we'd walk home together and i felt so accepted by them although they were so much cooler, and that's when i watched gilmore girls season 1 for the first time and i was baby-sitting 4 cute kids at the other side of paris and i would download an episode and watch it on the train ride, i was listening to pavement, and i loved going to lectures when it was dark and everything was so good before my master's degree:') and yet i felt sad a lot then...this will serve to remind me to enjoy every moment again

[naylacecilia]

[mpdrolet]

From These Things Happen

Todd Weaver

[vintagecamping]

Sacked out after an all-night drive, two men hold their place in a two-mile line for campsites at Yosemite National Park, where chronic overcrowding led to a new reservation system

July, 1979   

[equatorjournal]

Jacques Cousteau, Golfo San José, Valdés, Argentina, 1984.

From “La planète des baleines” by Jacques Cousteau, 1986. https://www.instagram.com/p/CPThsFHgyGY/?utm_medium=tumblr

[ouilavie-deactivated20191107]

Chris Steele-Perkins. Kenya. Lake Victoria. Small boat ferry transporting people.

[roguetraders]

kapsoit, kenya. 1997; athlete tegla loroupe milking the cows

[vintagecamping]

When the jungle is too dense to camp in, you camp on the road.

Somewhere deep in Zaire

Africa

1973

[soracities]

Walt Whitman, “The Mystic Trumpeter”, Leaves of Grass

[Text ID: “No other words but words of love, no other thought but love.”]