天使

22. any pronouns.

[hansolsticio]

✦ — "(in)segurança". ᯓ y. jeonghan.

— namoradinho insuportável ! jeonghan × leitora. — 𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗴𝗼𝗿𝗶𝗮: smut. — 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 4254. — 𝗮𝘃𝗶𝘀𝗼𝘀: consumo de bebida alcoólica, ciúmes, linguagem imprópria, sexo desprotegido, tapas (contexto sexual), degradação, creampie, oral (f), superestimulação. — 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗮 𝗱𝗮 𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗼𝗿𝗮: se vocês pararem pra pensar, o hannie é o verdadeiro dono desse blog.

As suas mãos se inclinaram de um jeito esquisito, só relaxando ao soar de mais um "clique". Nesta altura, Jeonghan nem sabia mais que pose fazer, optando por te oferecer uma expressão entediada — você entendeu: era o suficiente.

"Só mais uma, Hannie.", escondeu o bico por trás do aparelho em suas mãos, suspirando quando o homem não cedeu. Abriu a galeria, agora transitava pelas fotos, admirando o seu trabalho. Como se não gostasse de algo, fez careta para o homem na sua frente.

"Que foi?", ele franziu o rosto com a mudança súbita, curioso.

"Você 'tá tão lindo.", a sentença saiu com certa insatisfação, como se fosse algo ruim. Jeonghan soprou um risinho confuso.

"E o que tem?"

"É irritante.", você segurava a própria risada ao ver o rostinho incrédulo.

"Não sei se é 'pra agradecer... ?"

"Não.", ele concordou com a cabeça, dando mais um gole no próprio copo. Você finalmente riu, não conseguindo mais sustentar a encenação.

"Hm. Se eu bem me lembro, você fez um drama horroroso quando eu disse que ia cortar o cabelo. Mudou de ideia?", questionou provocativo. Você se recordava perfeitamente da ocasião. Assim que soube da notícia, tirou o dia para fazer todo tipo de penteado possível no cabelo de Jeonghan. Tirava foto de tudo. Choramingando como se estivesse se despedindo de um parente seu.

"Retiro tudo o que eu disse.", eram águas passadas.

"Sei...", ele estreitou os olhos, desconfiado.

Ignorou-o de propósito, desviando o olhar para o palco mais ao fundo do cômodo. Um grupo pequeno de pessoas se apresentava ali. Não conhecia a música, só sabia que havia um toque de jazz no ritmo arrastado. Era um barzinho muito confortável, a iluminação baixa e alaranjada trazia um ar de intimidade para o local — você havia acertado na escolha, se soubesse teria visitado muito mais cedo.

"Gostei muito daqui. Aliás, por quê o Seungkwan não veio? 'Cê nem me falou.", perguntou ainda sem olhar para o homem, entretida com o movimento das pessoas no ambiente.

"A namorada dele 'tá resfriada ou algo assim. Ele não me explicou direito, 'tava muito atordoado.", ele sorriu ladino, observando o próprio copo. E como se estivessem conectados, você sorriu também. Achavam Seungkwan uma graça nessa nova fase — ele estava todo bobinho com o relacionamento recente, era muito bonitinho de se ver. Viu Jeonghan pegando o seu copo pela visão periférica, seu sorriso se apagou.

"Isso é meu."

"Eu sei.", não tirou os olhos dos seus dando um gole generoso na bebida. Grunhiu com certo exagero. "Que delícia! Se eu soubesse tinha pedido também.", te olhou divertido, dando um gole maior ainda quando percebeu que não conseguiu o que queria.

"Jeonghan!", bingo. "Acho bom você ir buscar outro desses 'pra mim.", fez manha, mas não estava chateada de verdade.

"Vou pensar no seu caso.", terminou o líquido, virando o copo como se fosse água. Okay, talvez você estivesse um pouquinho chateada, mas não queria dar esse prazer ao homem. "Não quer provar a minha também?", ofereceu como se fosse o mais justo a se fazer.

"É cerveja, Jeonghan. Não tem nada de novo."

"E como você tem certeza disso?", te instigou e por bons segundos você realmente acreditou que havia algo de diferente na mesma marca de cerveja que ele pedia desde o começo do relacionamento. Esticou seu braço para alcançar, mas ele foi mais rápido, tirando o copo de cima da mesa. "Não é fácil desse jeito. Só te deixo provar com uma condição.", você suspirou, ele não muda nunca.

"Fala.", forçou rispidez.

"Cê sabe que eu não gosto assim. Pede com carinho.", queixou-se, fazendo carinha de coitado.

"Qual a condição, amorzinho?", o tom era claramente de deboche.

"Ainda não 'tá do jeito que eu quero, mas tudo bem. Vem sentar aqui do meu lado.", nem esperou sua confirmação, reposicionou-se no sofá, deixando espaço para você sentar.

"Essa é a condição?", estava incrédula.

"Não sei. Por que você não vem aqui e descobre?", o sorriso veio de imediato ao ver você se levantando. Nunca se recusou a participar dos joguinhos de Jeonghan e provavelmente nunca se recusaria. Fazia parte de quem ele era e do motivo pelo qual você ainda sentia seu coração palpitar mesmo depois de tanto tempo — ele sempre manteve as coisas interessantes.

Sentou-se, o olfato se enchendo mais ainda com o perfume do homem ao seu lado. Assistiu ele tragar um gole generoso do próprio copo e te puxar para um beijo logo em seguida, tão abrupto que fez você se assustar no processo. Soltou uma exclamação surpresa, sentindo Jeonghan sorrir contra os seus lábios. A língua invadiu sua boca com destreza, fazendo o gostinho de cerveja se espalhar pelo seu paladar.

"Tem certeza que não tem nada de diferente no sabor?", murmurou baixinho, o rosto ainda próximo do seu.

"Você é tão brega às vezes.", sequer conseguia expressar desagrado, sorrindo abertamente.

"Vai fingir que não gostou?", roçava o nariz no seu, tentando provocar qualquer tipo de reação. Assistiu ele mordiscar o lábio inferior e distribuir uma série de selinhos nos cantos da sua boca. Você praguejava mentalmente, pois só isso foi o bastante para te deixar desnorteada — já havia perdido as contas de quantas vezes se sentiu uma garotinha perto de Jeonghan, achava que nunca se livraria do crush vergonhoso que você tinha no seu próprio namorado. O homem possuía não só a habilidade, como também um grande prazer em te desconcertar, uma vez que sabia que era capaz de conseguir o que quisesse quando você estava nesse estado — além de, é claro, adorar saber que ainda conseguia te surpreender e que você ainda era tão apaixonada por ele quanto no início de tudo. Os dedos dele subiram sorrateiramente por baixo do seu vestido, muito mais do que era aceitável para um local como aquele.

"Aqui não, Hannie!", segurou o pulso dele com firmeza, seu rosto formigava.

"Não posso te dar carinho?", fez bico, a carinha de anjinho fazendo seu sangue ferver de um jeito muito bom.

"Não esse tipo de carinho.", sussurrou, temendo que a música alta ainda não fosse capaz de abafar a conversa entre vocês.

"Que tipo?", forçou um tom inocente que não era nada compatível com a mensagem presa dentro dos olhos do homem — Jeonghan tinha um caso seríssimo de "fuck me" eyes e você também não sabia lidar com isso. Era incrível o que duas gotas de álcool no sangue do seu namorado eram capazes de fazer.

Um ruído rompeu a bolha de vocês, seus ouvidos entraram em alerta, como se o som fosse muito bem conhecido. Ao finalmente se virar não foi difícil reconhecer o dono da voz: seu ex. O fato é que muitas pessoas ficariam extremamente constrangidas e até mesmo enfurecidas em encontrar o próprio ex num lugar tão aleatório e, pior ainda, acompanhadas do atual. Só que esse não era o seu caso. O término entre vocês dois havia sido amigável, você não tinha o que reclamar sobre o homem — especialmente porque eram muito amigos, mesmo antes de começar a namorar.

"Meu Deus! Quando que você chegou?", você exclamou em surpresa, fazia muito tempo desde a última vez que tinha visto o homem. Levantou-se meio desengonçada, abraçando-o por alguns segundos.

"Faz alguns dias, na verdade. Vim passar algumas semanas com a minha mãe. Não esperava te encontrar por aqui.", ele parecia tão animado quanto você. Os olhos alegres quase não saíram do seu rosto, até eles fixarem em algum ponto atrás do seu corpo — Jeonghan. O homem sustentava uma expressão muito confusa, observava a cena sem dar uma palavra.

"Ah! Esse é o Hannie, meu namorado.", você havia notado o desvio no olhar do homem a sua frente, finalmente se lembrando desse detalhe tão importante. Você sequer pareceu questionar a escolha do apelido, chamava-o assim com tanta frequência que temia acabar esquecendo a versão original do nome de Jeonghan. Seu namorado levantou uma das mãos, numa saudação meio contida. "Hannie, esse aqui é o Santiago. Lembra dele?", olhou-o, vendo ele confirmar lentamente. "Quer sentar, Santi? Faz tanto tempo que a gente não conversa!", sugeriu, ainda estava muito animada com o reencontro — acreditava que nunca mais chegaria a rever o homem. Ele não hesitou em aceitar, imediatamente engajando-se em dissertar sobre seja lá o que aconteceu na vida dele desde a última vez que vocês se viram.

Em outras circunstâncias, você estranharia o silêncio do seu namorado, mas estava tão envolvida na conversa que sequer teve tempo de refletir muito sobre isso — e também não esperava que Jeonghan ficasse magicamente confortável na presença de um completo estranho. Você não fez muito alarme com a situação, sendo honesta, via Santiago muito mais como um amigo que como um ex-namorado e esperava que Jeonghan também visse as coisas nessa perspectiva.

Jeonghan não era uma pessoa insegura, definitivamente não. Na verdade, considerava ser mais confiante que a média, especialmente quando se tratava do relacionamento de vocês. Então, por que ele jura ter ouvido um alarme soar na cabeça dele assim que te escutou proferir o nome do outro homem? — sem nem contar com o "Santi", ignorou essa parte de propósito pelo bem da própria saúde mental. E não, Jeonghan também não era controlador ou completamente dodói da cabeça. Você era livre e podia ter todos os amigos que quisesse, entretanto aquele não era um amigo qualquer. Jeonghan conhecia Santiago, bem como sabia o que a relação entre vocês dois chegou a significar um dia. Com esse fato, Santiago deixou de ser uma pessoa qualquer e virou uma ameaça — pelo menos na cabeça do seu namorado.

E ele tentou, realmente tentou ser normal sobre toda essa situação, mas perdia cada vez mais a compostura com o desenrolar do diálogo entre vocês dois. Não se atrevia a dar uma palavra sequer, mas a audição impecável fazia questão de captar cada coisinha que era dita. Foi impossível ignorar o quão sorridente você parecia estar, distribuindo risinhos para qualquer trocadilho besta que Santiago fazia ou nos elogios disfarçados que homem insistia em fazer a você — estava fazendo um péssimo trabalho em esconder, pois cada um deles fazia o sangue de Jeonghan ferver. Até tentava prestar atenção em outra coisa, observando as bolhas subirem na cerveja que já devia estar quente — havia desistido de beber o restante —, mas nada parecia funcionar.

Ele não sabe o que finalmente te fez lembrar da existência dele, porém fez questão de te olhar nos olhos assim que você se virou para observá-lo. O sorriso contido que você deu quando notou a mandíbula travada e a intensidade que transbordava nos olhos do homem deixou bem claro para ele que você sabia exatamente tudo o que se passava na cabeça do seu namorado. Ele colocou uma das mãos em cima da sua coxa por baixo da mesa, aquilo era um aviso — um aviso bem claro. Você se virou para voltar a conversar com Santiago, sustentava um brilho sinistro no olhar, sinal que estava prestes a ignorar a advertência de Jeonghan.

Seu amigo não conseguiu perceber a mudança no rumo daquela conversa. O distúrbio na energia do ambiente só podia ser entendido por você e Jeonghan, era um jogo entre vocês dois — mas seu namorado não parecia estar disposto a jogar dessa vez. Você sabia muito bem o que esperava conseguir quando começou a fazer referências cada vez mais explícitas ao antigo relacionamento de vocês, porém tentava manter tudo na superficialidade — não queria desrespeitar Jeonghan, só queria se divertir um pouquinho mais tarde. O apertão no interior da sua coxa te fez saltar no lugar, você disfarçou, tossindo para encobrir o próprio sorriso. Entretanto, não havia uma maneira das coisas permanecerem tranquilas por muito tempo. Santiago pareceu notar o silêncio de Jeonghan e resolveu dar uma de mediador (erro de principiante):

"E o seu namorado é sempre quieto desse jeito?", tentou descontrair. Jeonghan usou toda a força restante no próprio corpo para segurar a língua. Te encarou, curioso com o tipo de resposta que você daria para a pergunta. Mas antes que você pudesse abrir a boca para responder, Santi interveio novamente. "Hein, Hannie? Você é sempre tímido assim?", direcionou o questionamento para Jeonghan e o fato da pergunta vir acompanhada de um sorrisinho de canto não ajudou.

Foi perceptível a maneira como a tensão no corpo do seu namorado pareceu triplicar. Os olhos se estreitaram e se ele estivesse em um desenho animado você acreditava que seria capaz de ver a fumaça saindo do nariz dele. O homem havia interpretado o uso do apelidinho carinhoso como pura provocação — nem passou pela cabeça o fato de Santiago não saber que aquilo era um apelido.

"Será que eu sou quieto ou você que não sabe calar a porra da boca?", nem se deu ao trabalho de elevar o tom da própria voz, as palavras saíram cheias de hostilidade. Você congelou, definitivamente não esperava algo assim e muito menos sabia como prosseguir agora que o estrago estava feito. As coisas seguiram desse jeito por alguns segundos: Jeonghan, Santiago & um silêncio embaraçoso — um excelente trio. Seu namorado não tirou os olhos de Santi nem por um segundo sequer, se comportava como se estivesse entediado com a presença dele — coisa que fazia sempre que queria irritar alguém.

"Entendi. Pelo visto, eu tô atrapalhando.", Santi foi o primeiro a romper o silêncio junto a um riso sem graça. "Eu vou voltar 'pra minha mesa. Tá, _____? Mas foi um prazer te ver de novo.", despediu-se com calma, já se levantando para sair.

"Ah... Claro! Foi um prazer. A gente se fala depois.", você deu um sorriso amarelo, o rosto ardendo de tanta vergonha. Esperou que ele se afastasse para finalmente falar alguma coisa. "Hannie-"

"Olha, vou ser bem direto: Não tô afim de discutir agora. Então, ou você fica longe de mim e espera minha raiva passar...", não completou a frase da mesma maneira que não fez questão em te olhar.

"Ou...?", estava curiosa sobre a outra opção.

"Ou 'cê me deixa descontar em você.", finalizou. Você não achava ser possível estar surpresa e, ao mesmo tempo, achar aquilo tudo muito previsível. Mas, ao que parecia, os dois fenômenos podiam sim acontecer simultaneamente. Deixando de lado o choque inicial, você já tinha sua resposta desde o começo — pois foi em busca desse desfecho que vocês acabaram nessa situação.

"Eu-"

"Em casa.", te silenciou antes mesmo que você fosse capaz de começar.

[...]

Você subiu as escadas com apreensão, sentia um calor estranho te acompanhando. Jeonghan não parecia demonstrar incômodo algum em ser o responsável por pesar o ambiente. Sentia o olhar atravessando o seu corpo mesmo que ele estivesse alguns degraus abaixo, ouvia-o subindo de maneira despreocupada. Conscientemente, você tinha plena noção do que esperava conseguir quando provocava ciúmes nele. Podia até ser considerado algo habitual, mesmo que nunca tenha sido previamente acordado entre vocês dois — pelo menos não abertamente. A dinâmica era bem conhecida e, mesmo assim, parecia nunca perder a graça: você inocentemente usava algo (ou alguém) para despertar a ira do seu namorado e, em troca, ele aliviava o estresse dele em você — mais precisamente: dentro de você.

O próprio Jeonghan não escondia o quão satisfeito ficava sempre que você dava abertura para que as coisas acontecessem dessa maneira. Adorava brincar de juiz, te controlando e negando seus orgasmos por quanto tempo achasse necessário. Era quase como se ele sempre estivesse em estado de alerta, aguardando o momento exato no qual você tentaria pisar no orgulho dele, tudo isso só para devolver na mesma moeda — fazendo você se submeter às vontades dele. Mesmo que fingisse detestar — afinal, faz parte do jogo — você também não ficava para trás, amava deixar Jeonghan te arruinar e quebrar suas paredes uma a uma. O processo era longo e quase doloroso, mas não falhava em te deixar inteiramente fraca e obcecada por cada uma das sensações.

A questão é: você conhecia muito bem todo o "protocolo", então por que as coisas pareciam diferentes dessa vez? Você se perguntava se havia ido longe demais dessa vez — se havia escolhido o alvo errado.

Ao cruzar as portas do quarto, você se virou com cautela. Sabia perfeitamente que encontraria Jeonghan atrás de você, mas, mesmo assim, finalmente olhá-lo te fez tremer. O homem sustentava uma expressão inquisitiva, mas não parecia ter a mínima intenção de verbalizar a pergunta — e nem precisava, você sabia exatamente o que ele queria saber.

"Eu...", sua voz falhou, teve que limpar a garganta. "Eu quero que você desconte em mim.", se esforçou para manter o contato visual. Seu namorado suspirou, a reposta não pareceu surtir efeito algum — como se já tivesse previsto o que você escolheria. Ele guiou as mãos até a barra da própria camiseta, tirando-a sem pressa alguma. Você sentou na borda da cama, sentia seu estômago revirar. O corpo esquentando com jeito que ele te olhava — seu nervosismo era nítido, parecia até a primeira vez. Jeonghan desabotoou a calça, mas manteve a peça. Seus olhos, que observavam tudo muito atentamente, seguiram o homem que se sentou na poltrona que ficava no canto do quarto.

"Tira a roupa.", a ordem veio de modo inesperado, seu corpo até saltou um pouco. Não havia conseguido processar as palavras logo de cara, proferindo um "hm?" extremamente confuso. "Você me ouviu.", retrucou. Você se levantou com pressa, decidida a acatar o pedido prontamente, entretanto não esperava conquistar a simpatia do moreno com isso — queria ser rápida, pois se despir na frente dele subitamente parecia uma tarefa árdua, mesmo que tenha feito isso inúmeras vezes. "Senta no meu colo.", mais um comando. Andou até o homem em passos acanhados, ele abriu mais o espaço entre as pernas e quando você estava prestes a sentar: "De costas.", ele te deteve e, mais uma vez, você não hesitou em obedecer. Jeonghan não fez cerimônia alguma para tocar no seu corpo, correu as mãos por todos os lugares que era capaz de alcançar. Pressionava seu pescoço, riscava as unhas curtinhas na sua barriga, beliscava seus seios, porém parecia ignorar propositalmente o local no qual você mais precisava que ele te tocasse. Resvalava os dígitos no interior das suas coxas, tão perto...

"Hannie...", lamuriou impaciente. Insinuou-se contra a mão dele, tentando fazer ele tocar ali. O homem pareceu não se importar, continuando a maltratar todos os cantinhos do seu corpo. Mudando de estratégia, você forçou os quadris para trás rebolando contra o volume evidente no meio das pernas dele. Ele pareceu perder o restante da paciência, estapeando o interior das suas pernas — um aviso para te fazer ficar quieta.

"Você não consegue ficar dois minutos sem ter nada dentro da buceta?", proferiu entre dentes, firmando ainda mais o aperto em volta do seu pescoço. Você choramingou, o ventre apertando com o jeitinho raivoso, a proximidade do som fazendo cócegas na sua orelha. Um tapinha fraco foi desferido em cima do seu pontinho, você tentou fechar as pernas. Ele foi mais rápido e te laçou com os próprios tornozelos para mantê-las abertas. Usou a mão livre para espalhar o líquido que vazava do seu íntimo, estimulou seu clitóris no processo. Você apertou os olhos, arfando baixinho. "Eu devia te largar aqui desse jeito. Não 'tá merecendo porra nenhuma hoje.", mais um tapinha acompanhou a ameaça.

"Desculpa, Hannie.", pediu chorosa, não queria que ele fosse. Seu namorado invadiu sua entradinha com o dedo médio e o anelar, sem se preocupar em dar nenhum tipo de aviso. Colocou-os até a base e o ar ficou preso dentro dos seus pulmões.

"Relaxa, princesinha. 'Cê vai se arrepender de verdade.", dava para imaginar o sorriso sinistro contido na voz do homem. Estocou os dígitos com cuidado, te estimulando com a palma da mão. Seu corpo derreteu no colo de Jeonghan, hipnotizada com o carinho gostosinho. Para a sua surpresa, o homem não te impediu de gozar. Até mesmo curvava os dedos para estimular um lugarzinho especial dentro de você — ele conhecia bem, sabia que você gozava rapidinho desse jeito. As estocadas não pararam, só diminuíram a cadência, como se ele estivesse te deixando recuperar o fôlego. Mas era impossível relaxar nessas circunstâncias, você tentou fechar as pernas novamente, dessa vez conseguindo prendê-lo entre as suas coxas. "Abre.", pontuou com indiferença.

"Hannie, espera-"

"Mandei abrir esse caralho.", a mão livre soltou seu pescoço, te fazendo tombar a cabeça para trás com um puxão de cabelo leve. "Você fez aquela palhaçada toda porque queria dar, não foi? 'Tô te dando o que você quer. Abre.", segredou as palavras no seu ouvido, fingindo ignorar o jeito que sua entradinha apertou com a ação. Você obedeceu, claramente rendida. Seu namorado voltou a te estimular, brincando com o líquido entre os dedos dele. "Agora você vai sentar em mim quietinha, sem abrir a boca pra reclamar. Entendeu, putinha?", não esperou sua resposta, impulsionando o seu corpo para se afastar do dele. Livrou o próprio pau da calça e bombeou algumas vezes para espalhar o pré-gozo que melava a glande vermelhinha — você poderia jurar que quase salivou com a cena.

Sentou-se mais uma vez, dessa vez de frente pro seu namorado, amava assistir o rostinho dele se contorcer quando você encaixava a extensão inteira. Movimentou a cintura algumas vezes, rebolando num vai e vem gostosinho. Jeonghan cravou as unhas nos braços da poltrona, mas tentava fingir não estar afetado com o estímulo. Você propositalmente deixava transparecer o quanto estava gostando, franzindo a sobrancelhas e gemendo baixinho — tanto por tesão, quanto por saber que ele observava cada uma das suas expressões. Quicou algumas vezes, jogando a cabeça para trás com a sensação. Mas não conseguiu manter o movimento por muito tempo, já sentindo as pernas amolecendo com o prazer. Tentou beijar seu namorado, sentindo-se subitamente carente, mas uma mão foi rapidamente emaranhada nos seus fios, te impedindo de completar a ação.

"Hannie!", fez carinha de choro. Jeonghan negou com a cabeça, refreando o próprio sorriso dentro da boca.

"Você não pensou em me beijar quando 'tava fazendo aquela ceninha dentro do bar.", fez questão de sussurrar pertinho, roçando o narizinho no seu. Não impediu o próprio sorriso quando viu sua expressão de irritação. "Que foi? Achou que eu ia ser bonzinho só porque 'cê 'tá sentando em mim?", ironizou. Jeonghan usou os dígitos da outra mão para te masturbar, fazendo questão de manter a proximidade entre os rostos de vocês dois. "É só ganhar carinho que a putinha fica mansinha.", referiu-se ao modo como sua expressão suavizou. Você não demorou a gozar novamente, apertando os olhinhos e melando Jeonghan no processo.

Mal teve tempo de se assustar quando o homem se levantou, te carregando e te jogando na cama logo em seguida. Imobilizou suas coxas, aproveitando a vulnerabilidade para te chupar. Suas mãos voaram direto para o cabelo dele ao sentí-lo sugar seu pontinho, estava sensível demais para aguentar qualquer coisa ali. Ele não parecia se importar com a dor, babava sua bucetinha inteira, soltando alguns gemidinhos durante o ato. Se a sua cabeça não estivesse completamente bagunçada pela luxúria, você teria percebido mais cedo que aquilo tudo era Jeonghan numa clara tentativa de se provar — como se houvesse a necessidade de você entender o "estrago" que só ele conseguia fazer com o seu corpo.

Te penetrou mais uma vez ignorando completamente a maneira que o seu corpo tremia com a sensibilidade. Fodia lentinho, nem se atrevia a tirar os olhos dos seus.

"Amor... 'tá sensível.", você choramingou, a carinha chorosa fazia seu namorado pulsar.

"Mais um. Me dá mais um.", parecia hipnotizado, totalmente embriagado com a ideia de te fazer gozar de novo. Estocava fundo e você sentia a sensibilidade transformando-se em prazer novamente. A mão dele foi até o seu rostinho, acariciando sua bochecha num gesto quase piedoso. Você sabia muito bem o que ele queria e nunca se negaria a entregar o controle nas mãos de Jeonghan — especialmente porque sentia tanta satisfação nisso quanto ele.

"Bate, Hannie.", pediu num fio voz. Ele te olhou mais uma vez, como se quisesse ter certeza e você concordou. O impacto foi razoavelmente forte, te fazendo virar o rostinho para o lado, a ardência que se espalhou logo após o tapa fez seus olhinhos revirarem de tesão. Sua entradinha apertou em resposta e isso pareceu ser o suficiente para quebrar a pose de Jeonghan. O homem te beijou com necessidade e você mal conseguia retribuir, sentia-se tão fraca.

"Você é minha, não é? Só minha, porra. Fala que é minha.", atropelava as palavras, ofegando desesperado contra os seus lábios.

"Só sua- Ah! Hannie! Só sua, amor...", lamuriava as palavras, sentindo o orgasmo chegar. Jeonghan enterrou o rosto no seu pescoço, gemia alto, quase tão sensível quanto você. Os quadris vacilavam, estocando com dificuldade. Você nunca havia visto ele tão vulnerável assim, agarrando-se ao seu corpo como se você fosse sumir a qualquer momento. Seu coração palpitava aturdido, parecia querer sair pela boca. Sentiu o homem finalmente se liberar dentro de você e isso te fez vir quase que imediatamente.

Algumas lágrimas ainda escorriam solitárias quando você voltou a si. Tentava assimilar o que acontecia em volta de você, Jeonghan ainda arfava uma série de "eu te amo's" contra o seu pescoço, totalmente fragilizado — você começava a ter sua confirmação de que definitivamente havia tocado em alguma ferida do homem. Queria confortá-lo e até mesmo se desculpar, mas mal tinha forças para manter os olhos abertos. Optou por retribuir cada um dos "eu te amo's", esperando que isso fosse o suficiente por enquanto.

# — © 2024 - hansolsticio ᯓ★ masterlist.

[nchonny]

HSVDDHBWHDJEBDHAAAAAAA possessivo e todo desesperado e fragilizado falando que ama no final puta que pariu :( MEU DEUS, EU NÃO ESTOU BEM. EU NUNCA VOU ME RECUPERAR.

[starywoo-deactivated20260523]

I made a request, and now I'm full of ideas!!! Little brother's best friend Jeonghan, who is a year younger than mc and has always been a brat and has always had a crush on mc, but she's never given him the time of day until they're older and he has all that hot man energy and she just can't resist him. And he turns out to be a dom through and through 🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭

I AM HERE FOR ALL YOUR REQUESTS, THEY'RE ALWAYS SO GOOD

Dom Jeonghan is just a fact for me at this point. Like I know he could definitely be a brat but he just has that smirk that has dom written all over it. I hope you like it!!!!

I'm going to try and smash through a loud of the requests tomorrow because I finally have a day off with zero things to do other than daydream about my favourite men

18+ content, MDNI

Warning- spanking

Brother's best friend Jeonghan who has always been fucking annoying. He's a year younger than you and has been your brother's shadow since forever. He’d cheat in every game you played, always acting like such a brat and spend all his time inserting himself into your life, not caring that as your brother's best friend he was cramping your style. You ignored him, he was irritating and younger than you, you just wanted him to leave you alone and stay out of your life.

Brother's best friend Jeonghan who you don't see for a couple of years, you both went off to university and now you're working and he's in his final year. But you don't doubt he’s still as fucking annoying as ever, you'd known him most of your life, people don't change that much and so you weren't looking forward to seeing him at dinner, for the first time in ages.

Brother's best friend Jeonghan who makes your freeze in your steps when you walk into your parent’s dining room, the potatoes nearly falling from your hands when his eyes find yours. You try to smile at him to say hello but, very unlike the Jeonghan of old who would fall over himself to say hello to you, just looks back at your father and carries on the conversation like he didn't see you. Something in your stomach feels weird at that but you put it down to his rudeness and him being fucking irritating.

Brother's best friend Jeonghan who you watch throughout dinner, wondering how the bratty little shit who used to annoy the life out of you has become some sort of super model. His hair is cut and styled perfectly, his clothes are far removed from the skinny jeans and comic book t-shirts he used to wear and he has an air about him that you can’t help but be drawn to. If you saw him at a bar, you wouldn't think twice about approaching him.

Brother's best friend Jeonghan who when you ask him how his final year is going and what he plans on doing next, replies “it's fine, not sure yet” and turns around to talk animatedly to your brother. That weird feeling grows in your stomach, like you used to get in school when your crush clearly didn't feel the same as you and you'd run off in embarrassment until everyone forgot about your attempts at talking to him. But this isn't a crush, it's your brother's annoying best friend and you can't believe he's making you feel like this.

Brother's best friend Jeonghan who says he doesn't really feel like a walk after dinner when your brother and parents are heading out, he knows you've held back to wash the dishes and he's no intention of letting this opportunity slide. He saw how you reacted to him and the way your face dropped when he treated you coldly. But he couldn't resist taunting you when he saw the clear attraction on your face when you first saw him tonight. He may have changed, but that annoying little shit is still there somewhere and you're about to learn just how annoying he can be.

Brother’s best friend Jeonghan who bites his lip with a wicked smirk on his face when he walks in the kitchen and the first thing he spots is your perfect ass in jeans that look too fucking good to be wasted on family dinner. He can’t help himself, he's waited his whole life to have a chance with you and that fucking adorable pout you had when he ignored you at dinner shows him he's finally got his chance.

Brother’s best friend Jeonghan who smiles wickedly when you jump as his hands appear either side of the sink, his chest against your back and body caging you to the spot. You're so shocked you can't even figure out what’s happening, his scent overtakes your last logical thought and all you can do is try to breathe normally as you feel his fingertips brush your neck when he moves your hair to side and grumbles into your ear “why are you in such a mood in here, all on your own? Surely its not because I ignored you, I thought I was a fucking brat who needed to stay out of your life?”

Brother's best friend Jeonghan who doesn't let you answer, his hands grope your tits so firmly that he pulls your body completely against him, a little moan escaping when you feel his semi hard dick against your ass. You still can't even get your words out, this was the last thing you were expecting from dinner with your family and Jeonghan, but you can't say you're pissed off with the outcome. You’re just stunned at his behaviour.

Brother’s best friend Jeonghan who tells you it’s pretty fucking pathetic to behave the way you have done tonight just because he’s hot now, but he tells you it’s lucky for you that he’s as forgiving as he is. Before he pauses and bites your neck lightly, whispering “although, maybe you do need showing who’s boss a little”. The palm of his hand lands on your ass in a sharp slap that rings around the kitchen and you’re instantly ashamed at the pornographic moan you let out.

Brother’s best friend Jeonghan who spins you round and shoves his tongue down your throat, years of pent up need and anger making itself clear in the way he barely lets you catch your breath, and the vicious way his hands yank your clothes off you, leaving you completely bare in front of him.

Brother’s best friend Jeonghan who stares down at you, he might be about to make sure you know you’re his, that you’ve made him wait long enough for you to get your head out of your ass and see he’s perfect for you, but fuck he can’t believe he’s finally seeing his child hood crush naked. You’re even better than he imagined. And he's imagined you a lot.

Brother’s best friend Jeonghan who kisses your neck loving saying how pretty you are and how he can’t believe you’re finally doing this. But when his hand slaps your tit and he tells you that sadly he still needs to punish you for being so fucking mean all these years, he almost loses his composure when you nod eagerly and even lean into the pain of his hand slapping your other tit.

Brother’s best friend Jeonghan who spins you back around, groping and slapping your ass until you’re a whining and whimpering mess in front of him, your ass pushing back against him trying to force him to ease the ache between your legs. His dick twitches when he sees you’re so turned on and desperate for him that you’re trickling down your thighs.

Brother’s best friend Jeonghan who watches as you shiver when you hear his belt being unbuckled and he lightly kicks your ankles to get you to spread your legs for him. He laughs at you and calls you pathetic because of how fast you comply with him but you don’t care, you need him, you’ll deal with him gloating later, right now you need him to fuck you.

Brother’s best friend Jeonghan who massages your pussy, whispering in your ear and asking if you’re ready to show him how much you’ve missed him. You only drip even more when you can’t get your words out and he lands a short, sharp slap to your cunt. The very wet slap that sounds round the room only making you blush even more and causes Jeonghan to lose any last scrap of sanity that he had.

Brother’s best friend Jeonghan who runs his dick through your dripping folds, pretty close to blowing his load already because he’s finally fucking his dream girl. But he can’t, he needs to show you the man he’s become and what you’ve been missing out on.

Brother’s best friend Jeonghan who slams his dick into you, bottoming out straight away and having to catch his breath as much as you from how fucking incredible you feel around him. He doesn’t give you chance to adjust though, just slams in and out of you, his hips slapping into your ass and his big hands groping your tits and pinching your nipples, his head dizzy from how impossibly tighter you get whenever the pains hurts a bit too good.

Brother’s best friend Jeonghan who knows you’re already both close to cumming, he doesn’t care, now he knows you’re into him, he’ll be coming back from uni a lot more often and this definitely won’t be the last time he feels you around him.

Brother’s best friend Jeonghan who slaps your ass as hard as he can, his breath hitching and hips faltering when you cry out in pleasure and your cunt grips him like a vice. He slaps your other ass cheek just to see that fucking incredible reaction again and fuck if it’s not the best sight in the world. To see you so lost in him and the way he’s making you feel, is everything he’s ever wanted.

Brother’s best friend Jeonghan who yanks your hair back, one hand holding your hair in his fist and the other tugging on your nipples whilst his dick doesn’t relent on your g-spot. His tongue licks a strip up your neck to your ear and he growls in your ear “to fucking cum on my dick baby, who’s the fucking little brat now huh?”.

Brother’s best friend Jeonghan who moans along with you when he feels you cum all over his dick, he’s barely having to move at this point, you’re fucking yourself back onto him like the desperate thing you are, just using your little brother’s best friend for your own pleasure with not a care in the world.

Brother’s best friend Jeonghan who spits in your ear to kneel on the fucking floor and to take everything he gives you. His heart leaps when you do as your told and kneel innocently in front of him, your eyes wide and mouth open because you know exactly what he’s going to do and you're desperate for it.

Brother’s best friend Jeonghan who fucks his dick with his fist for a few strokes, his hand on the back of your head and lining you up with his tip as he cums straight into your mouth, his fist never stopping as his tip rests on your bottom lip and he fills your mouth with his warm, salty release.

Brother’s best friend Jeonghan whose thumb gently rubs your cheek as he holds it and tells you what a good girl you’ve been for him, smiling happily at the way you swallow everything he’s given you and open your mouth to show him it’s all gone.

Brother’s best friend Jeonghan who once he’s helped you to stand and cleaned you up, even zipping your jeans up for you, he helps you onto the kitchen counter and takes his place between your legs, his arms circling your waist and nose brushing yours.

Brother’s best friend Jeonghan who asks if you want to go on a date with him at the weekend and whose heart nearly stops when you giggle out a simple yes and kiss his lips like it’s the most normal thing in the world.

[hannieween]

emergency contact | yoon jeonghan

› pairings: yoon jeonghan x female reader › aus: dilf jeonghan, boyfriend jeonghan, jeonghan is a girl dad › genres: angst, fluff, smut (18+) › word count: 23k

READ PART ONE HERE

› warnings: toxic family dynamics: jeonghan's ex is a bad person in general (a neglectful parent), talks about speech therapy, speech impediment. jeonghan is an idiot. reader is emotionally constipated. so there's A LOT OF drama.

› smut warnings: smut with plot (this part has more plot than the previous one, you're warned), they're both crazy for each other, dirty talk, pussy eating, jeonghan is pussy drunk, quickies, make up sex, breeding kink, cowgirl, daddy kink, edging, bathroom sex, silence play, unprotected p in v sex (i'm such a bad influence, wrap it up!), creampies, mating press, yn is slightly 🤏🏻 bratty, dom jeonghan, aftercare. pet names: babe, baby, beautiful, darling, sweetheart, (hers) babe, daddy (his)

› author's note: hiiii! i'm here to say thank you guys for the support in the pineapple on pizza? post! it was really nice to see that so many of you enjoyed it, so here is a part two! honestly i enjoyed writing dilf!hannie quite a lot and couldn't get him out of my brain for months so here it is, a part two lol. and this chapter is looooong, so buckle in!

also another note: this is incredibly self indulgent. like everything i write. but i think this one takes the cake.

› disclaimer: minors DO NOT INTERACT. this post is intended for 18+ readers ONLY. please have your age stated in your blog description and try not to look like a bot please 🙂

“Have you seen my keys?”

Morning routines were always a mess. Something different happened every time, and somehow, even though you’ve done this more than a dozen times, it was still hard to catch up.

But you were getting the hang of it.

The apartment was a controlled chaos, as you liked calling it. The air smelled of coffee and the soft fragrance that Jeonghan wore to work. Repetition was starting to have its effect as you began to associate your mornings with those two scents.

“Have you tried looking under the couch?” you asked, turning around with a small bowl in your hands. You placed it carefully on the small tabletop of Sohee’s booster seat and watched quietly as she sank her little spoon into her bowl of cereal and milk.

“I should’ve added more milk,” you mumbled, biting on the inside of your cheek.

The little girl didn’t seem to notice, though. She ate happily, kicking her feet in the air and clapping her tiny hands together as she chewed, milk dripping from the corners of her pouty mouth.

You heard a sigh, and then the sound of footsteps approaching from the hall, and you lifted your head.

Jeonghan was still buttoning his perfectly ironed shirt, his hands going lower and lower, distracting you from your initial task. You felt your lips parting before forcing any kind of control onto your facial expression. His black trousers were also yet to be fixed, but as he finished buttoning his shirt, he tucked it inside his pants, quickly fastening his belt.

You lowered your gaze to the little girl slamming her palms onto the tabletop. Sohee was dancing happily. And you were glad that you had zero witnesses to your ogling your boyfriend quite shamelessly.

You brushed crumbs off the table, picked up the empty bowl and put it away. “Alright,” you said with a sigh, pretending to be deeply focused on the morning routine. “Did you find them?”

When you looked up, you found that Jeonghan had also been staring. His eyes were trained on the scene happening before him. His mouth parted, and he appeared to be confused for a split second—giving himself a very brief shake. “Yeah,” he smiled shyly and patted the pocket of his trousers. “Under the bed.”

“Huh,” you grinned. “How could they have gotten there?” you asked, innocently tilting your head.

Jeonghan sighed. The smile was still glued to his face, but it slowly brushed off as he raised his wrist to his face, looking at his watch. “I’m late,” he said, delivering the words with an annoyed edge in his tone. “Fuck. I’m so late,” he added, turning around to grab the jacket that had been previously placed on the couch.

Panic rushed in your veins. It was a big day for Jeonghan at his work—he had a big meeting in which it was certain that he would get some good news about a project that he had proposed for the company he worked for. You knew what this meant for him.

You looked at the time. His shift started earlier than yours did, and with another twist to your stomach, you knew that he wouldn’t be able to drop Sohee off at the daycare and then make it on time to his meeting.

“Go. I’ll drop Sohee at daycare,” you blurted right as he was throwing Sohee’s things into her bag.

His gaze snapped up and locked onto your face. The shock was flitting, but you were able to catch it before he blinked and parted his mouth to say something.

But you were quicker— “Here. Take my car and I’ll take yours so I can put Sohee in her car seat. We can switch later,” you said, stumbling over your words as you fished your car keys from the pocket of your smart trousers, handing them to him.

Jeonghan straightened, fixing the wire-rimmed glasses on the bridge of his nose—you always went a little crazy when he did that—but this time he placed his hands on his hips, his face thoughtful, calculating. “Are you sure? I don’t want to cause an inconvenience with—”

“Babe, you’re not causing anything,” you insisted, thrusting your fist holding the keys into the space between you and him. “Take my car. Go to your meeting. I’ve got Sohee.”

At that, Jeonghan’s face relaxed, starting to approach you with a softened look on his face—like he could melt just at the sight of you. He took the keys from your hand.  “You’re godsent, did you know that?” he asked, his tone low as he grabbed you by the waist, pulling you to his body.

“I’m just here to help,” you said lightly, meeting his gaze as he bent his head to meet your lips with his own.

Jeonghan gave you one feathery kiss. “Thank you, baby,” he whispered, pushing his lips on yours again. “Be careful, okay? Call me if anything happens.”

You smiled against his lips. “I got this,” you repeated in a sweeter tone.

Part of you was sure that Jeonghan knew this as well. But Sohee was his entire world. And he was quite literally leaving her in your hands. 

And you were unsure as to what to think about it.

Jeonghan turned, peeling himself from your lips with a begrudged groan and placed a kiss on top of Sohee’s head. “Goodbye, sweetheart,” he cooed gently.

Your tummy twisted again. This time, the reaction was from the way Jeonghan switched into dad mode in the blink of an eye. The switch from hot boyfriend to diligent father never failed to mess with you.

Sohee lifted her head, her eyes looking at her dad, but she didn’t respond.

“Be good today, okay? Eat all of your meals and try not to miss me too much,” Jeonghan insisted, trying to get her to utter something. “I’ll see you later, sweetheart. Byeee,” he cooed again.

But Sohee kept looking at her father fixedly.

“Sweetheart, say bye,” Jeonghan encouraged Sohee again, this time lower but still gentle.

“Maybe she’s not feeling it today, babe,” you muttered behind him.

A few weeks ago, Jeonghan confided in you that he started to notice that Sohee often froze at the moment of speaking full sentences. Initially, he had brushed it off, thinking that his daughter was innately shy, just like himself. But as months passed by and she continued developing other social skills, he began to believe that it was something else.

“Right,” Jeonghan mumbled, not hiding the slight look of worry on his face. But he leaned and propped another kiss on her forehead before stepping back. He kissed you on the cheek, handing you the keys to his car.

“Good luck,” you mumbled, and he replied with a quick nod. You and Sohee watched quietly as Jeonghan slipped through the door.

As soon as the door clicked shut, you realized what you had gotten yourself into. It was supposed to be a simple task, yes. But it had a thousand layers of meaning beneath it. Taking Sohee to daycare was something you could do every day, gladly—but something felt off.

Like you were starting to cross a line, and neither Jeonghan nor you knew how to talk about it.

Taking Sohee to her daycare was one thing—driving Jeonghan’s SUV was another.

It wasn’t a particularly daring task either, but it also put your nerves on edge. After fixing Sohee’s daycare bag and your own stuff, you grabbed her first, hoisting her up your hip, and then you swung your bag and Sohee’s on your shoulder.

“Ready to see your friends today, Sohee?” you asked, raising your tone into a sweet one. It felt practiced, and you remembered the first few times you ever did it—how it made your cheeks flush in embarrassment. But after a time, you could say that you understood why people would talk in a cute way to kids, it came naturally.

“Yeah,” Sohee replied, the word landing almost aloofly. Like you had just caught her in a moment where she didn’t find any barriers for her to speak.

You pushed the button of the elevator and slowly moved your head to look at her.

Sohee was a perfect little girl of almost three years of age. When you met her over half a year ago, you were sure you were holding a little angel. She was gentle and sweet. Her head was full of dark hair that matched her long eyelashes, just like her father’s.

“Oh, yeah? What are their names?” you asked, eyeing her as you stepped into the elevator with her still attached to your hip.

“Dany,” she mumbled perfectly, raising her tone as though she were about to make a list of names.

“Dany? Okay, and who else?”

“Nora,” she said, quieter this time.

The elevator paused on its way down, opening the doors for another person to step in. You knew the conversation was over.

Sohee fell silent, lowering her gaze from you and fixing it on one point on your shirt. You realized after a few seconds that she was staring at your hand, at your painted fingernails. What made you certain was the way she raised her hands to her gaze, comparing her fingernails to your own.

Something twisted inside you, the idea of her and you doing each other’s nails dawned in your head. And you knew what that pang in your stomach was—possibility. You were thinking of the future.

“Here we go,” you mumbled as you approached Jeonghan’s navy blue Kia Seltos. The fresh smell of new and clean leather still lingered inside it as you opened the door and put Sohee in her chair.

She never complained, just quietly sat on the chair and looked at you as you fixed the buckle of her safety belt.

“Safety first,” you said, trying to fill in the silence. You grabbed one of the toys from the toy basket sitting beneath her seat and showed it to her. “Look, it’s Rory!” you cried dramatically, showing her the dinosaur plushie that you knew she loved.

Sohee extended her arms and made grabby hands at the green and very cute T. rex. She didn’t speak again, no matter how hard you tried to get her to say something.

The parking lot was buzzing with activity, cars coming and going, hustling parents coming in and out of the building, dropping their kids off—and you for sure felt like a fish out of water, but you didn’t want to entertain the thought for too long. You signed Sohee in without an issue—the staff mentioned that as you were dropping Sohee off, Jeonghan had phoned them to let them know you were coming in his stead.

You soothed Sohee’s hair and gave her a quick kiss on her head as she scrunched her fingers on your back, almost affectionately. “You be good, sweetie,” you said before leaving her and turning to the parking lot, feeling strangely empty when you climbed inside the SUV.

You carried out work as usual. You didn’t think about the odd feeling clawing at your heart for the rest of the morning. The second the clock hit one o’clock, your phone started vibrating, snapping you out of your monitor screen. You scrambled to get your phone, only to see Jeonghan’s face on the screen.

“Hello?” you responded with a hushed tone, looking over to see if you had interrupted the workflow in the office. But you realized the space was nearly empty, and everyone had left for lunch.

“Am I interrupting?” Jeonghan noticed immediately by your tone alone.

“No. I just didn’t look at the time,” you told him, pushing yourself off the chair and walking in the direction of the elevator.

“Oh, I see. Is this still a good time to speak with you?” he asked.

You smirked at his choice of words. “I don’t know, you tell me. Is this a good time for you?” you retorted, noticing that he was also in his cubicle.

“You got me,” he said, and you could imagine the shy smile on his face. “I’m stepping outside, hold on.”

You pushed the button to the elevator and waited while on the other side of the line, you heard Jeonghan moving.

“Okay, I’m out,” he said with a sigh. “Are you going to the food court?” he asked.

Jeonghan knew your schedule well, and he was also very familiar with your routine since you always kept him in the loop of the things you did. When you started dating, you would quite practically narrate to him your daily life through text messages, to the point that he knew all of your co-workers by name without knowing them in person.

“Yes,” you replied, stepping out of the elevator.

“Chicken salad?” he asked with a low tone, making you think that he probably had some co-worker passed him by.

“Oh, I think I’m moving on from that,” you told him. “I want a burrito. A chicken burrito.”

“Oof, how different,” he teased.

“Let me be,” you bit back and then frowned, suspecting something was off.

“I will. But I’m going to tease you about it either way,” he said with a brief laugh. “How is work going?”

“Fine,” you replied simply. But it was then that you dared to ask, “Is something going on, babe? You’re never this weird.”

Jeonghan sighed, and you knew he was smiling. “Am I being that obvious?” he said, and then, before you could say something, he continued. “I just wanted to tell you to come tonight and have dinner with Sohee and me.”

“Mmn, why do I feel like this could’ve been a text,” you said as you sat down at an empty table that was cluttered with a tray and a single French fry sitting on its box.

He laughed. “I am trying to get somewhere here,” he said.

“You’re taking a lot of detours!” you laughed with him. “Of course, babe. You know I love having dinner with you and Sohee.”

“Good. Great,” he mumbled, and something about the dejected way his words came out made your ears perk.

A long moment of silence happened between you, where you could hear the sound of his breathing and nothing else. Your gaze fell out of focus, landing on a single grain of salt on the dirty table in the very crowded food court.

“Is everything alright, babe?” you asked, your tone lower. “Did the meeting go well?”

“Yeah. It’s not that. I want—” he cut himself off, but then, “I want us to talk,” he said.

Your heart fell to your stomach, the feeling so impactful that it left you completely stunned. There was nothing in the world that could replace the feeling you’d get when you heard the words we need to talk, and all of its variations.

“Oh, then—t-that changes things,” you mumbled awkwardly, not forgoing that he ignored your initial question.

“Wait, no,” he started, noticing the tension in your words. “It’s nothing bad.”

“Okay,” you said under a heavy sigh. “Then tell me now,” you said.

“I’d rather wait until tonight—”

“Did I do something wrong?” you asked instead. And perhaps you could’ve controlled yourself better, but you were fully induced in anxiety now.

“No. I swear it’s nothing bad,” he told you firmly. “It’s something I have been wanting to ask you.”

You started toying with the lonely grain of salt with the tip of your finger. “If it really is nothing bad, then you could ask me now,” you said, fully aware of how shaky your tone was.

“Are you sure?” he asked slowly, stretching out each word.

“Very.”

Jeonghan sighed and then paused. You could picture him clearly—standing on the balcony of the building where he worked, looking very polished on the outside but probably tense, judging by his tone alone.

“I was just thinking that we’re always so busy, you with work and me with—well, with everything and…” You heard him pause, and then release a sigh, and that’s how you knew he was also steadying himself. “I wanted to know if you would like to move in with us. With Sohee and me.”

In all of the things you could’ve possibly imagined him saying, this wasn’t one of them. You straightened in your seat as a chill ran down your spine. “Jeonghan, are you serious?” you asked, unable to control how firm you sounded.

“I don’t mean now, but sometime in the future. We can plan and see how things go from there,” he offered, and he sounded steady, but you could notice the slight edge of nervousness in it.

The feeling invading your body made you feel as if you had been dropped from a very tall building.

“Babe…” you started, looking for the words to say.

“It’s okay if you want to say no,” he said. “I just wanted to talk about it with you tonight over dinner.”

You closed your eyes, swallowing hard. “I’m not saying no,” you told him.

“You’re not saying yes either,” he sighed in defeat. “I’m rushing into things.”

Your chest caved in. You wanted to say yes, you wanted this. But there were so many things that you thought needed to happen before you moved in with him and his daughter. In your book, things like the first I love you had to happen before sharing a roof with that person. Or at least knowing them for a full year.

Oh, and the judgment. Your friends already thought you were insane for dating a single parent, and now you were moving in with him eight months after meeting him? Not only that, your whole life had taken a turn when you started dating Jeonghan—to the point that the person you were a year ago wouldn’t recognize the person you were now.

“Can we talk about it tonight over dinner?” you asked, your tone tiny.

“Of course. We can talk about it more calmly,” he said, and you couldn’t ignore the note of sadness in his words. “I get it, baby. I should’ve waited. I’m sorry.”

“No, Jeonghan. You did nothing wrong,” you said, but then something felt off.

“Listen, I have to go back. See you tonight?” he asked, and you caught the way his tone picked up. Something had come up.

You deflated completely. “See you tonight, Jeonghan.”

And then something hung in the air. An unspoken thing between you, something that needed to be said.

Your heart started to hope.

But then the line went dead.

There was a thought that you couldn’t quite keep away. When you met Jeonghan, you instantly knew this man was for you—every bone, every nerve ending in your body told you that. Then, when you knew he was a single father, you knew that a relationship with him would be challenging. But it turned out to be easier than expected.

However, things started to shift from the first night you and he took things to the next level. Spending the night in his bed was a very conscious decision you both made. You were both ready, and truth be told, aching for each other. What you didn’t foresee was that you were climbing those steps into a serious relationship without paying attention to how fast and how uncontrolled you were.

Now, it felt as though you were in too deep, but there were no rules or boundaries in place.

You gnawed on your lower lip, debating whether to write him a text telling him that you knew he meant well by his proposition.

Instead, you got up and went to the nearest convenience store, got a sandwich, and ate half of it on the elevator ride back to your office.

The rest of your shift happened in a blink. Thankfully, you were so busy that the aftermath of that call with Jeonghan was pushed to the second plane of your brain. You would sometimes remember it with a jolt in your stomach. And he also didn’t text you afterwards, which meant that he was also probably busy—or that’s what you wanted to believe anyway.

You came out of the office some four hours after the phone call, scrambling inside your handbag to get your car keys.

Your phone started vibrating furiously somewhere in one of the many pockets, your heart deflating stressfully in the thought that it could possibly be Jeonghan. A flashing thought drove that anxiousness right into your soul, telling you that he would be telling you that tonight’s plans were off.

But it was an unknown caller. And you picked up solely on the thought that it would be a work-related thing.

“Yes?” you said, putting your bag on top of the trunk of your car.

The caller was a woman with a very polite tone, asking for you using your full name.

“This is her,” you replied almost routinely.

“Hi! This is Katy from the Speech and Learning Center. Am I speaking to Sohee’s mother?”

“Oh—” you gasped, leaving the task of finding your keys completely abandoned due to the sheer shock that question gave you. “No. I’m her father’s partner. Is something wrong?”

“Oh, no. Everything is fine. I’m so sorry, ma’am,” Katy responded kindly. “We have you on Sohee’s file as the emergency contact in case her father doesn’t answer, and we’ve tried him three times just now, but no answer. Are you able to make choices about her appointments with us?”

“God,” you mouthed to yourself, screwing your eyes shut. “Um, Sohee’s birthday is on Friday, so Thursday would probably be better,” you responded automatically, and then you stopped yourself with a shake. “But I think you should try her father again.”

But then you remembered—Jeonghan had mentioned a very important meeting, the one where his boss would determine whether he had the promotion or not.

“I believe he was in a meeting. Maybe you should try in…” you checked your watch. “Twenty minutes. He should be off by then.”

“Understood. I will call him instead. Well, I thank you for picking up this call and wish you a good rest of your day. Bye!”

“Thanks. You too,” you replied shakily.

And then she hung up.

The drive to Jeonghan’s apartment felt like an out-of-body experience. You felt yourself driving, but at the same time, your mind was somewhere else. After being hit with two reality checks, one after another, you were reconsidering what to do, what to say to Jeonghan once you saw him.

He had assigned you as Sohee’s emergency contact. Not her grandmother, not her aunt. And certainly not her mother. You.

It shouldn’t be a big deal—maybe you were making it into a big deal. But after Jeonghan had told you he wanted you to move in with him and his daughter, this just felt like too much.

You turned the doorknob of his apartment door as you released a shaky sigh, trying to drive out all your nervousness. But as you entered and laid eyes on him, you knew it would be impossible not to be nervous for the remainder of the night.

Jeonghan was sitting on the couch, baby Sohee sitting safely on his thigh as he held a triceratops in one hand, making it clash gently against Sohee’s brontosaurus. His gaze immediately switched to the door as you crossed it. Then tension set in, making the features of his face harden.

And you probably were mirroring that same expression. You closed the door behind you quietly and removed your shoes by the entrance.

Jeonghan placed Sohee on the couch carefully as you walked to the living room, feeling strange.

“Hey,” he said, reading your face with his eyes.

Your heart was racing incredibly fast. “Hi,” you replied.

“I got it,” he said with a big sigh.

Understanding dawned on you with a blink. “You got promoted?”

He nodded, but his expression was still blank.

“Oh my god!” you gasped, thinking that the tension in his demeanor was due to the call from earlier. “Congratulations!” you said excitedly, going for a hug.

Jeonghan didn’t appear to be happy, not precisely. But he wrapped your torso in his arms, hugging you tightly. “Thank you, baby,” he sighed, sinking his face into the crook of your neck.

Then you felt a pair of tiny hands palming your leg intuitively. You pulled away from Jeonghan’s arms, looking down to spot Sohee trying to get your attention.

“I think she’s feeling left out,” Jeonghan interpreted keenly.

“Oh, my bad,” you giggled and bent down to hug her. “Come here, princess,” you spoke softly to her as you lifted her in your arms.

“Look,” Sohee said quietly, showing you a new dinosaur toy.

“Wow, what is this?” you asked her, your tone turning into honey.

“Saurus,” she mumbled shyly, still showing you her dinosaur figurine.

“A stegosaurus,” Jeonghan informed you quietly as he watched you carry Sohee in your arms. And there was that look again. The one you had seen in the morning. He was watching intently, calmly—like he wanted to remember this moment forever without missing a thing.

“This is so cool,” you told her, still using that tone. “Is this the one you liked the most?” you asked her.

She listened to you intently, but her gaze was fixed on her figurine. She shook her head.

“Show her your favorite one, sweetheart,” Jeonghan said as you placed her back on the floor.

She ran back to the couch, grabbed the forgotten dinosaur and brought it back to you. You crouched to be at eye level with her as she showed you a new Triceratops.

“Did you just get these?” you asked her sweetly, your tummy twisting in cuteness aggression as she just nodded, ruffling her black hair.

“It was one of her birthday gifts. I thought that it would be safe to keep them stashed in my closet, but I guess that I should’ve known better,” he said guiltily, crouching with you as Sohee went on to show you her new collection of dinosaur toys.

“You’re a very observant girl, aren’t you?” you asked her, to which she ignored completely.

You could feel Jeonghan beside you, his gaze set on you as you continued your silent exchange with Sohee. After some seconds of feeling the weight of his gaze on you, you glanced to his direction.

“Can we talk?” he whispered as soon as he caught your eye.

You nodded, tummy twisting uneasily.

Jeonghan opened and then closed the fridge in one short motion. He placed his empty hands on his hips as he released a sigh. You noticed then that he was anxious. “Sohee’s mother is coming to town.”

You froze in place.

Of course. You should’ve expected her to be for her daughter’s birthday. But part of you was also completely vexed about this piece of information—since you had believed for a moment that Jeonghan wanted to talk about the proposal he’d made earlier. But Sohee’s mother rarely called, to the point that in the eight months you’ve been dating Jeonghan, you had never even seen her in person.

“Oh, I see,” you said, swallowing hard. And then you added quite awkwardly: “Is she… did you… Did she call to see what you would do for Sohee’s birthday?”

Jeonghan understood where your curiosity came from. But he was still looking at you wearily, just like all the times he talked to you about a difficult thing in his life. Like the time he told you about his daughter, or the time he told you about Sohee’s absent mother.

It made your stomach churn.

And you knew what it was. It was selfishness.

“No. I called her,” he said. You knew that he was telling you the truth, and in doing so, he was nervous. “Sohee’s birthday is one of the few times I can get her mother to come see her, so…”

“I understand,” you said, resuming to set the table with the tablecloth and the dishware. “Do you… want me here that day?”

“Of course I do,” he said. You glanced his way, seeing his worried face—his eyebrows knitting softly. “Do you want to be here?”

“As long as you are comfortable with it, yes,” you said, and then added: “I just don’t want to complicate things.”

Jeonghan rolled his eyes. “Believe me, things can’t get more complicated with her. Soomin is just…” he shook his head lightly. “Well, you’ll see.”

You exhaled sharply. “Okay… no pressure,” you mumbled.

All you knew about Soomin was that she was not present in Sohee and Jeonghan’s lives from the moment Sohee turned eight months old. Her reason for parting and leaving everything behind was simply—I don’t want this life—and one day she packed her bags and left. Some months later, Jeonghan asked her for full custody of the baby, receiving it without any fight from her.

“Is she coming the day of?” you asked.

“On Thursday afternoon, after Sohee’s therapy,” he said. And then you noticed that the anxiety hadn’t quite brushed off. “I want you to meet her that day. That way we can have the party without any issues, if any.”

You raised your eyebrows, watching him from the other side of the table. “That bad?”

He nodded silently, throwing a look to the living room, where Sohee was dancing around to the music playing on the TV screen. “I just don’t want her to make a scene on Sohee’s birthday, you know? It’s supposed to be her day.”

The tension in your shoulders dissolved when you turned over your shoulder and saw baby Sohee bending her knees to the rhythm of the music, her tiny hands planted on the sofa to keep herself steady as she danced happily. Your stomach twisted with the realization that you loved Sohee in a way that you wanted to protect her, care for her.

You had gotten irrevocably attached.

You took a deep breath, slowly turning to see Jeonghan. “Don’t worry, babe,” you told him, smiling at him as you approached him again. “We’ll make Sohee’s day just about her, alright?” you said, pushing yourself to your tiptoes to kiss his cheek.

Jeonghan smiled softly. “Alright,” he said.

You stared at that smile on his face for one long second, and slowly, the memory of the phone call from earlier came back to your mind. Your heart faltered. You carefully thought of how to open the conversation, but nerves got the better of you first— “About earlier…” you said in a whisper, pausing to clear your throat. “Were you serious? About me moving in?”

Jeonghan inhaled slowly, blinking away from your face briefly, glancing to where his daughter was in the living room. “We don’t have to rush,” he said, licking his lips before turning his gaze back to you. “It’s a big step, but it makes sense, right? I mean, you’re already here all the time…”

You studied him for a brief moment. You were hearing him, but all you could think about was the way his shoulders were tight, the way he was gripping the back of the chair with one hand. And more than everything else—the way he wasn’t meeting your eyes.

“It feels fast, Jeonghan,” you said carefully.

“It feels right,” he countered, taking one step towards you. His face had changed now that you could see him with more closeness—his dark eyes were full of certainty, full of tenderness. “I want you here. With us. You’re already here all the time, you do morning routines with us, put her in bed, and drop-offs…”

Your chest tightened. Something felt off. And then by pure instinct, you glanced at Sohee. The baby had stopped moving, her gaze fixed on the flat screen mounted on the wall, sticking her index finger in her mouth quite aloofly.

But the sight of her made your tummy twist even harder. It was the realization hitting you like a train. If you lost this—if Jeonghan and you ever get to a point where you split, you would lose Sohee as well. The mere thought threatened to break your heart.

His gaze shifted—and without following it, you knew that he was looking at Sohee. “I’m just… scared of doing this wrong way, you know?”

You reached for his face, cupping it with your hands to draw his gaze back to you again. “Then we should slow down,” you said, your heart protesting against your words with a stabbing pain. “Just a little.”

He swallowed hard. “Okay,” he breathed.

“Yeah?” you replied in kind. “We slow down for just a little while. We could talk about it again when the timing feels right.”

Jeonghan grabbed one of your wrists, squeezing it gently. He looked relieved, so much so that the next sigh he let out was slow as he leaned his forehead on yours. “I’m sorry. The last thing I want is to rush you,” he whispered.

“It’s okay,” you replied, despite your heart deflating a little. “I understand. Just know that I’m not saying no. Okay?” you said, raising your tone just a little bit higher, trying to swallow your nerves.

“Okay,” Jeonghan replied with a breathy giggle, hearing your nervous tone.

You felt his lips grazing yours before he kissed you fully. It was then that you felt those three littlewords sitting on the tip of your tongue. You were falling for him, fast and uncontrollably. But instead of telling him that, you pushed your lips against his, kissing him fervently.

But then a sharp, and very high-pitched laugh pulled you both apart. Baby Sohee was laughing at something happening on the TV. You broke away and stepped back from Jeonghan.

“I’ll… bring her to her chair so she can have dinner,” Jeonghan said. And by the look in his eyes, you knew that there was something else on his mind.

You let out a tired breath. “What a Monday,” you sighed.

“Welcome to my life,” Jeonghan replied.  

After dinner, Jeonghan started to ready Sohee for bed, and that usually involved a bath, brushing teeth and then bed. It took him around thirty or forty minutes. And in that time, you usually took it upon yourself to tidy the space up. Initially, you had started doing it to kill the time while waiting for Jeonghan to come back—despite his insistence for you not to do it—but lately, it felt like it was part of your routine too.

You had put all of Sohee’s toys in the basket, folded the blankets and were now doing the dishes. The task had fallen into a steady rhythm, and so you were deeply focused on washing a pan when a pair of arms snaked around your waist, startling you.

“Stay the night,” Jeonghan said, his tone low as he bent his head to rest it on your shoulder. 

Your tummy twisted.

Ever since you slept with Jeonghan for the first time, you had fallen into a pattern of addiction. You would stay over at every chance you could get, which, granted, weren’t as many since you had a very hectic work schedule as a CEO Assistant and he as a single parent, and now newly ascended to Director. But even as you had finally stepped to that level of intimacy, it was life that constantly would get in the way. It wasn’t as easy to find a time for you to come to his apartment, and it would be nearly impossible for Jeonghan to spend the night at yours.

You felt his lips grazing a particular tender spot on the crook of your neck. “Hannie,” you sighed, recoiling from his sweet kisses.

“What?” he mumbled against your skin, you could tell from his tone that he was smiling. But he didn’t stop kissing your neck slowly.

You swore you could melt. When you took too long to respond, he giggled gently against your skin.

“Want me to stop?”

You had already scrubbed every inch of the pan you were holding under the stream of water; the task had been long forgotten. “No, I want you to let me finish doing the dishes,” you replied with a playful tone.

“Alright, my bad,” he said, stepping back from you and starting to put things away in the kitchen.

You watched him through the corner of your eye as he roamed all over the space. Feeling the absence of his touch on your skin made you swallow hard. “I didn’t say you had to stop,” you mumbled, feeling hot on the cheeks.

Jeonghan huffed, clearly still amused. “Baby, we’ve been going like this for weeks,” he said pointedly, then chuckled as he threw a look at your face, finding your pout.

Since the night when you slept with Jeonghan for the first time, you have had very few occasions of true intimacy. However, that didn’t stop Jeonghan from teasing you, touching you in places he hadn’t dared before that night, but now he did it at every chance he could get when no one else was looking.

It got you nervous. You liked him too much. Every time he touched you intimately, your mind would be thrown back to those nights where it was just you and Jeonghan. It made your blood dance, heating your entire body.

Only Jeonghan had that power.

You placed the last item on the drying rack and grabbed the hand towel, drying your hands before returning it to its place. “Fine, I’m done doing the dishes,” you said, putting your hands on your hips. “Where were we?”

Jeonghan let out a teasing huff. “You’re cute,” he said with a chuckle.

“You’re a tease,” you bit back, trying to sound as annoyed as you could, but instead your tone denoted how flustered you already were.

Jeonghan rolled his eyes at you, the smirk not washing off his face. “So? Are you staying or not?” he asked, his tone still playful.

“Only if you behave,” you said impishly.

Jeonghan raised his eyebrows, stepping closer to you. “Me?” he asked, his tone rising. He was close enough now that all he had to do was lift his hand to cup your face, fixing your gaze on him. “All I do is what you tell me, baby,” he said, his tone so low and raspy it was almost like a purr.

“So whenever you misbehave, is it because I told you to?” you huffed, not caring that his face was closer to yours now.

He smirked slowly as his eyes outlined your face. “Obviously,” he shrugged lightly. He finally closed the space between your lips and his, kissing you tenderly. “I always behave. While you, on the other hand…”

He didn’t finish his sentence, his gaze dipping to look at your lips briefly before he kissed you again. You smiled into the kiss, despite it being chaste in the way that he was only pressing his lips to yours repeatedly, creating soft, wet noises that only incited you to get more.

“Babe,” you muttered, laughing sweetly. “Kiss me properly,” you told him.

Jeonghan didn’t waste a second. Repositioning his hands around your face, he only leaned in, locking his lips with yours. His kiss was soft, but slow, wet, and so full of heat. You closed your eyes and let him dominate the kiss, parting your mouth when you felt the tip of his tongue swipe your bottom lip, and then you felt his tongue against yours.

Your legs tensed as an automatic response, a shot of arousal coursing through you like lightning. His hands switched from cupping your cheeks to the back of your head, his fingers tangling in your hair. That made a silent moan bubble in your mouth, so you grabbed him by the belt in his jeans, pulling him closer to you.

Jeonghan grunted in your mouth and then pushed you to the kitchen counter by simply taking two steps forward, making you take two steps back. His lips took yours with more vehemency now, kissing you deeply, with a very unique urgency. It made you lose control, it made you feel hot all over.

So you pulled back, but not far. “Let’s go to bed, yeah?” you said breathily, running a hand over his clothed chest.

Jeonghan smiled, making you think that he’d say something about your nervousness again. But he grabbed your hand, “Alright,” he said, and then he pulled you in the direction of his bedroom.

Whenever you stayed the night, you would wear Jeonghan’s clothes—mostly oversized t-shirts and sometimes sporty shorts. So much so that you’d noticed Jeonghan kept the clothes he’d lent you in a particular spot in his closet, making you suspect that he probably had stopped wearing them, only to keep them clean in case you came to stay the night.

Your gut twisted when Jeonghan pulled the same oversized t-shirt and handed it to you. “You know, you could bring some stuff in. I’ll empty a drawer for you,” he mumbled, turning on the bedside lamp.

He always said something akin to those words whenever he had the opportunity. It reminded you of his other request—of moving in. “Yeah, I’ll bring some spare pyjamas,” you replied nervously, turning on your feet to start unbuttoning your shirt.

“And maybe clothes for work?” he asked, and you could hear the hint of hope in his tone.

You already had a toothbrush and makeup remover wipes that you once bought to keep in Jeonghan’s bathroom. That time you’d also felt you were stepping over a line, for some reason. But Jeonghan thought it was endearing that you had asked him for permission beforehand. You don’t have to ask, he told you every time.

“Yeah, that too,” you replied, sounding short of breath. When finished unbuttoning your shirt, you threw a look behind you, seeing that Jeonghan had just turned his gaze elsewhere in that instant. You smiled to yourself, noticing that he, too, was acting strange, fidgety.

Or perhaps it was just staying behind the line you always painted. That was another thing that drove you crazy about this man—he always waited for your word. But he kept a keen eye on you, certainly making sure that you were not having trouble initiating. And this time was no different.

You liked Jeonghan. No, you loved him. And tonight, with all those questions roaming about in your mind, questions about moving in, taking care of Sohee, meeting her mother… You were simply too much in your head.

And Jeonghan knew.

After brushing your teeth and cleaning your makeup off, you slid into the bed beside him. He was eyeing you and the screen of his phone back and forth, waiting for you. “Ready?” he asked.

Your stomach twisted again. “Huh?”

Jeonghan smiled at you. “To sleep?” he added.

“Ah. Yes. Oh, yeah,” you stuttered nervously, scooting closer to him.

Jeonghan left the phone on the bedside table and turned the lamp off. He turned around, draping an arm around your waist as you also turned, forming up a spooning situation where he was the bigger spoon. He kissed your shoulder over his clothes, and then your cheek.

“Did you have a good day at work?” he asked, his tone soft and low.

You blinked, turning slightly to look at him. “Yeah. Why?” you asked.

He shrugged. “Hopefully I didn’t distract you too much with my stupid phone call,” he said.

Your heart softened. “It was okay, babe. Today's work was nothing out of the ordinary,” you told him, and then showed him a playful smile. “And I love your phone calls.”

“No matter how inopportune they are?” he asked, his tone waning ever so softly.

You nodded. “They never are. Stupid or inopportune,” you replied, your tone waning too.

He paused, looking briefly at your lips before bringing a hand to pinch your chin softly. “Where were you my whole life?” he asked.

Your heart could burst. You wanted to say a million things to him. You wanted to tell him how you fell in love with him at first glance, you wanted to tell him you loved him.

But you choked up. “I could say the same,” you whispered. And you weren’t lying—despite having had other boyfriends in the past, you had never ever felt love like this in your life. It only made you think that Jeonghan hadn’t either. And the thought broke your heart.

He smiled, moving his head so he could touch your forehead with his. “I’m never letting you go, you hear me?” he said.

You nodded. “Never.” Please.

You and Jeonghan fell asleep shortly after that, going back to your original spooning position. He wrapped an arm around you, and you snuggled close to him under the covers. Sleeping with him was extraordinarily good—he never moved, never snored, and you were careful not to disrupt his sleeping either.

Somewhere in the middle of the night, you felt him stir and slip out of bed. You became too conscious about it because the bed grew colder around you, and it was getting harder to go back to sleep.

You turned over, thinking that you might’ve done something to wake him up. But he was nowhere to be seen. “Jeonghan?” you called.

He stepped into the bedroom, carefully leaving the door ajar. “Did I wake you?” he asked, his tone low.

You watched him as he came back to bed. “What’s wrong?” you asked instead.

He sucked in a breath when he felt your warm body, as though he had been exposed to a chill temperature. “Sohee’s mother called.”

“This late?” you asked. “Is she okay?”

“Yeah. She’s fine. I suppose she didn’t look up what our time zone was before calling,” he explained calmly.

“Well, what did she have to say?” you asked, feeling sharply awake now.

He slipped his arms around your body, pulling you closer to him. His clothes were cold, as well as his skin. He was probably having the phone call outside on the balcony so as not to wake you or Sohee up. “A bunch of nothings. She cancelled Thursday’s plan. Said she’ll be meeting us at the party.”

You couldn’t help but feel relieved. “Did she say why?”

Jeonghan shrugged. “Yeah. But it was all an excuse.”

Something inside you deflated with shame. Here you were, feeling relieved that you wouldn’t meet Soomin a day sooner; meanwhile, that also meant that Sohee wouldn’t see her mom either until the party. And Jeonghan’s lower tone reflected that pity.

“I’m sorry, babe,” you murmured.

“It’s fine. I had expected something like that,” he replied, but you could still hear the hurt in his tone. “She promised she’d be here for Sohee’s birthday. So, I’ll take whatever at this point.”

Now, you were even more reluctant to meet her. Your gut twisted, but before you could even process what type of feeling you were having, Jeonghan kissed your brow, easing the storm cooking up in your mind.

“Shall we go back to sleep, beautiful?” he whispered, moving his lips to kiss your eyelid, then your cheekbone.

Jeonghan was so sweet, so loving, that it scrambled your brains to think how he was yours.

His lips reached your cheek, and you moved your face so that the next kiss landed on your lips. He planted a sweet kiss, but then you parted your mouth, trapping his bottom lip in. You kissed him deeply, trying to put all of your feelings into one single kiss.

You wanted to show him that you were madly in love with him without having to say the words. You kissed him with such force that had him moaning in your mouth. He said nothing, only letting you lead as you pushed him by the shoulders, wordlessly telling him to lie on his back.

He gave you one confused look that quickly evaporated once you straddled him. His hands snaked on your thighs as you bent forward, taking his face in your hands to kiss him, moaning on his lips once his fingertips grazed the lace hem of your panties. The sound only gave him the green light to continue, exploring your skin with the pads of his fingers as he hiked the t-shirt up your torso.

You pulled back, but only to let him take the t-shirt off, leaving you only in your panties, and your chest bare for his view. His gaze roamed all over your bare skin, but it was for just a moment. You leaned in again, his hands latching to your waist, while the other fisted your hair by the side of your head.

You shifted on your knees, grounding your hips down on him—but just barely. Jeonghan was already hard, and you could feel him just by moving on top of him a little.

Dragging your fingernails down his chest, you crawled back to give yourself space to pull his shorts down. Your fingers hooked around the waistband of both his boxers and shorts, and you pulled, uncovering an inch of skin as one of your fingers traced a line over his thin but dark, happy trail.

Jeonghan sucked in a breath—but this time it was because of something else. “Sweetheart,” he mumbled, looking at your hands as you pulled his cock out, grabbing it with your other hand.

“Mn?” You raised your gaze to him.

His hands slipped on your hips, clutching you gently as you lifted them to move your panty line aside. “Condom?” he mumbled, groaning and clenching his jaw as you guided the head of his cock down your folds.

You pretended not to hear, lowering your hips and slipping him inside your warm walls, all in one go. And fuck, he was perfect—his cock was perfect too. The feeling of having him raw and stretching your pussy was the sweetest feeling you’ve ever felt. Your mouth fell open, eyebrows drawn together as you started bouncing on him gently.

“Fuck,” Jeonghan gasped, closing his eyes before sinking his head back on his pillow.

You anchored your hands on his chest, using him as support to roll your hips on top of him. And yet again, you wondered what the scene would look like—middle of the night, his pants halfway pulled down, you bouncing on top of him with your panties still on and trying your best to be quiet.

But it was nearly impossible. Jeonghan moved his hands from your hips, palming your breasts and caressing your pebbled nipples with the pad of his thumbs. You clenched your teeth together, letting out a soft whine as you ground your hips on him, trying to take his cock deeper into you.

“Quiet, baby,” he said, smirking. But then he moved his hands, one to your hip, the other on your lower abdomen. He pushed your panties further aside, pressing your lower belly with his palm before starting to rub your clit with the pad of his thumb.

“Fuck—Daddy,” you mewled, hips buckling on top of him.

“Do you like that?” he asked, his tone low. He glanced at your face once before his gaze dipped to your cunt, moaning at the sight of his cock disappearing inside you.

You nodded, picking up the pace of your hips. The pad of his thumb rubbed your clit steadily, not switching, unstopping. It was driving you closer to the edge with every second that passed, making your walls tighten around his girth.

“Is this what you wanted, baby? Daddy’s cock?” he asked with that lazy smile still on his face, his tone raw, but waning.

It drove you insane—the switch from being sweet and gentle to talking to you like that. “Mm-mmph,” you admitted.

He tilted his head back slightly, teeth clenched tightly as he tried to exert some control on himself. But as you continued rolling your hips on top of him, you saw him starting to fall apart—his eyes went white before he squeezed them shut. And then, he made a sound, a long, raspy moan that was stuck in his throat. “Baby, I’m not going to last long,” he said.

It was your turn to smile now. “That’s okay, Daddy,” you told him sweetly, and then you tilted your head, showing him a playful side. “I could slow down for you.”

Jeonghan’s eyes rolled to the back of his head. “I don’t think that’ll make a difference,” he gritted, smiling despite himself.

His hands switched to your sides, lifting your hips with one powerful groan that rumbled in his chest. The sound made your pulse quicken, and your gaze immediately shot to the door, as though trying to fish for any kind of sounds coming from down the hall.

Jeonghan acted quickly—rolling your back onto the mattress effortlessly. A gasp spilled from your mouth, eyes locking with his as he slid your panties down your legs. And then he crawled between your thighs before taking his t-shirt off.

“We should be quiet,” you told him, smiling shyly as he placed his palms on your knees, pushing your thighs up to your chest.

“Let’s see how long you can do that,” he replied, letting out a tired giggle.

And he had a point about that. Last time you and Jeonghan had sex, you had been so noisy that the downstairs neighbors made some tacit remarks about a creaky bedframe. So you watched as Jeonghan grabbed a pillow, probably thinking the same as you and placed it behind the headboard.

“Can’t make any promises,” you mumbled, still looking as he pulled his shorts and boxers down, taking his hard cock in one hand and guiding it to your drenched pussy. You swallowed hard, holding your breath as the crown of his cock nuzzled against your entrance, and then he slipped inside you, so fucking slow.

You couldn’t resist it. The sight of his length disappearing in your mound was alluring, and the feeling of him reaching so deep inside you was even more delicious than riding him. He pushed your thighs to the sides of your ribs by climbing on top of you, so he was now fully pressing your body with his.

Jeonghan smiled. “See? Didn’t last long,” he said, hearing your soft whines as he bottomed out inside you.

“Fuck—daddy,” you gritted, breathing hard under the weight of his body, but you loved it. “Move, please, move.”

You didn’t need to beg—he did it right away, pulling back to push right in, creating a steady pace effortlessly. He framed your face with his forearms, his face so close to yours that he only leaned slightly to get a swift kiss. You cupped his head in your hands, lifting your head so you could kiss him deeper, earning a soft moan from him.

It was truly suffocating. The warmth of his body, being so close to him. Looking into his eyes as he claimed your body like it was his. It overwhelmed you—the need to be his woman and have him like this every night, forever. You were going insane with the mere thought—waves of love and lust coursed through you uncontrollably.

The room became flooded with the muffled sounds of pleasure—the small whines you made, the short moans Jeonghan let out in between tired breaths, and the very obvious creaking of the bedframe despite the headboard having a pillow to not slam against the wall.

You loved it. Loved how you both had fallen into an addiction of silent quickies in the middle of the night, stifling moans and speaking filth in hushed tones. The sheer adrenaline of trying and failing to be quiet made you wet. You could even catch the slippery sound of your arousal as Jeonghan pushed his cock deep inside you.

“God,” you gasped when he picked up a pace, fucking you faster, still massaging that glorious spot inside your walls. 

And you let pleasure bloom inside your body with a hot, intense shiver. Long ago, it was so rare that you’d cum with penetration alone—but somehow Jeonghan always made you cum like that, effortlessly. Your mouth dropped open, almost tasting your orgasm on the tip of your tongue.

“You close?” he asked with sharp, ragged breaths. He gave you a dazed look, outlining your features with his gaze. When you nodded, he gave you another light smile. “Let go, baby.”

You stared into his eyes, watched him as his jaw twitched when he ground his teeth down—you noticed he was close too. “Cum with me?” you asked, cheeks turning hot as you heard how fucking sweet you sounded.

Oh, you were in love. You had come to this realization a while ago, but now it was becoming more and more unbearable. Your mind spun with questions—did Jeonghan know? Could he see it in your eyes? Hear it in your tone? There you were, riddled with questions while you were begging for him to cum with you, and he wasn’t wearing a condom.

“You’re cumming first, Babygirl,” he replied, his tone waning.

You could’ve sworn that he had a way to hear your thoughts, but you didn’t let that distract you—because you were instantly swept over by an intense wave of pleasure. A gasp tore from your chest, and before you could let out a scream, Jeonghan crushed his mouth against yours, drowning out your sounds of pleasure.

He continued thrusting in that same calculated pace until you became a puddle of pleasure. You were wet. Sweaty, hot, and quivering on his bedsheets. And he was kissing you softly, passionately, like he hadn’t done before.

“Felt good?” he mumbled.

You nodded. “Amazing,” you drawled sweetly.

“Good,” he mouthed, the muscles of his face tightening, like he was in pain—he was close.

Your heart skipped a beat. “Don’t pull out,” you said.

He blinked, his gaze finding you instantly.  

“Please,” you whispered, linking your wrists behind his nape, as though trying to hold him right there.

He blinked slowly and then let his forehead rest on top of yours. “Fuck,” he sighed, pushing his hips against yours with tight, deep thrusts. You closed your eyes as another euphoric rush gripped your body wholly. “God—fuck, baby,” Jeonghan drawled, letting out a raw, quiet moan as he gave you a final push, his cock twitching in your walls as he spilled himself deep inside you.

Jeonghan remained there, breathing fitfully, his body completely glued to yours as though unable to move. And then you wished you’d known what to say next. You wished you knew what to do or say after making love. So instead, you moved your face, finding his lips with your own. You kissed him slowly, trying to convey the quick rhythm of your heart, the butterflies swarming inside your chest.

He pressed his lips against the corner of yours, then he kissed your cheek. “You’re okay?” he whispered, gently pushing the tip of your nose with his before pressing another kiss against your lips.

Your heart gave another leap. “Yeah,” you mumbled shakily. “We should probably get ready to sleep. You have work tomorrow.”

Jeonghan pulled back, blinking at you confusedly. “Yeah. Sure,” he replied, his gaze outlining your features. “But after I’ve taken care of you, baby.”

And when he peeled off your body, you knew you had made a mistake. You felt foolish then, because this man was clearly thrown off by the switch in your tone, confused by your evident refusal to talk about what was going on in your mind.

But he took care of you with the utmost gentleness, offering to start a shower for you, which you declined due to how late into the night it was. However, you cleaned up in the bathroom, and when you came out, he had a glass full of water ready on the bedside table, and he’d already changed the bedsheets.

“I put your clothes in the washing machine and programmed it for a quick start early in the morning,” he said thoughtfully as he unstuck the pillow behind the headboard. “They should be clean and dry by the time we both get up.”

It made you smile—the very careful manner in which he was fluffing the pillows as you approached the bed. “Thank you, babe,” you replied, feeling your heart warm up.

“Don’t thank me,” he whispered, lifting his head as you stood beside him before the bed. “Hopefully you will remember to bring in some spare clothes next time?” he insisted, smiling shyly about something, and then— “Sorry. I keep bringing it up.”

Your heart deflated. “Don’t apologize,” you replied, placing your palm on his side, feeling the muscle of his abdomen contract at your touch. “I’ll remember to bring some stuff in. I promise.”

“Okay,” he mumbled, grabbing your hand and taking it to his mouth, kissing your knuckles. “Let’s go to sleep.”

You nodded, climbing back on the bed and snuggling him close. Jeonghan wrapped your waist with one arm, the little crook beneath your earlobe.

Your heart fluttered. “Do we already have a cake?” you asked suddenly.

Jeonghan pulled back. “What?” he mumbled.

You turned slightly. “For Sohee’s party. Did you order a cake?”

His brow creased. “Yes. Why?” he asked curiously.

You turned again, face to your pillow. “It’s nothing. I can bake really good chocolate cakes,” you gave him a light shrug. “Thought I could help with something.”

Jeonghan smiled; you felt the change in his breath on your neck, making you shiver. “I’ll remember that,” he said, pressing his lips to the first spot of skin he could find. “For her fourth birthday.”

The knot in your tummy twisted harder. “Yeah…” you trailed off, deciding to snuggle closer to him, silently telling him to hold you tighter to his body.

“Sleep well, pretty,” he whispered, unaware of the shift happening in you.

Your head was about to blow up. You were sure. And every time you blew air out of your lungs, your abdomen screamed in pain and exhaustion.

“Perhaps I’m not made for this,” you mumbled to yourself quietly, wrapping the bead around your fingers to secure a tight knot, and then proceeded to put tape on one side of it, sticking it to the wall.

You had successfully decorated the side of the dining room that had the most cleared space for it. There perched a big and colorful daisy of white and light blue petals, with a Happy B-day Sohee sign sitting in the centre in baby pink colors, made by your hand. You had pulled out your party decorating skills, which you had put away since entering college, but they came in handy the moment you realized Jeonghan wasn’t planning on decorating.

“Okay,” you sighed tiredly, looking at the wall. Now that you had one task done, you needed to tend to the other two tasks you had set for yourself.

Task number one was decorating, done. Task number two was tidying up the place for the guests. And task number three was psyching yourself up for meeting your boyfriend’s ex, and the mother of his daughter.

Your stomach did that thing again—it felt like some deep part of you protested against what you had ahead for you, and it wanted to draw your attention to it by stabbing you right in the gut.

But you went ahead and tidied the place up—putting toys where they belonged, folding blankets and taking them to the bedrooms, cleaning the kitchen counters, and setting the table just nicely.

Two hours had passed since you’d arrived at Jeonghan’s place, and all of your tasks were done. You realized you could sneak fifteen minutes of mirror talk and touching up your makeup before Jeonghan and Sohee arrived back home.

When you came out of the bathroom, you felt like something was shaking inside your veins, leaving a trail of prickled nerves in its wake. But you took a deep breath—catching the sweet smell of vanilla, sugar, and cinnamon from the birthday cake set in the centre of the round dining table. You outlined the entire space with your gaze, mentally checking every single item you told Jeonghan you were in charge of getting for the party.

Balloons. Fruit tray. Candy tray. Banana milk. Peach drinks (Sohee’s favorite), candles and goodie bags, which were dinosaur themed.

The smart lock of the main door clicked and beeped, making your stomach contract and your nerves fire up in different directions inside your limbs. Jeonghan was crossing the door carrying a backpack on one shoulder, gift bags hanging on the same arm he was carrying Sohee with.

“Hello, you two,” you chirped, anxiety instantly swept when you saw Sohee’s adorable face. “What took you so long?”

“Sohee’s teachers,” Jeonghan exhaled tiredly, closing the door behind him and watching you approach him and Sohee. “They had a lot to say to me. One of them even got emotional.”

“And what did they have to say?” you asked, eyes set on the little girl perched on her father’s arm.

“Oh, just how much they appreciate Sohee,” he replied, bumping his daughter on his arm and turning to her. “They said you were the best girl, right? The smartest, kindest and friendliest. She’s been pretty talkative at school,” he added at the end, giving you a meaningful glance.

You made a shocked expression. “Is that true?” you asked, and then giggled at the sound of your own voice.

Sohee was listening to the conversation while she chewed on the tip of her index finger. But she nodded intently.

“They gave her a couple of presents,” Jeonghan said, gesturing to the gift bags on his arm. “Some of them were from her friends, two of them were from her teachers.”

You took one glance at the gift bags. “Oh, shoot,” you muttered.

“What?” Jeonghan said, brow furrowing.

“I forgot the present I got for her back in my apartment,” you said dispiritedly. But you turned to Sohee, extending your hands at her. “Hi, sweetheart!”

Sohee inclined her little body forward, just as you grabbed her by the torso and wrapped her around your hip. The movement was so natural that it went almost unnoticed, but it was Jeonghan’s gaze, the way he blinked, and his eyes lit up as he looked at his daughter, pointing at the wall behind you.

“That’s okay, we can go get it tomorrow morning,” Jeonghan mumbled faintly, still looking at his daughter perched now on your hip.

“Mn,” Sohee hummed softly, kicking her legs up in the air and pointing at the wall slightly harder.

“Oh, right,” you turned on your feet, taking the baby girl to the living room area so she could see the wall decorations. “We made this for you, kiddo,” you chirped, looking at her pretty face.

She pointed again.

“D’you like it?” you whispered, heart warming up at the sight of her sweet brown eyes taking in the big daisy on the wall.

She nodded aloofly. And then kicked her legs, pointing them to the floor.

“Alrighty,” you mumbled, carefully setting her on the floor. You watched her run joyfully to her bedroom, perhaps to get something, a toy for her to show you.

But then you turned, catching Jeonghan still staring at you, hands deep in his pockets, head tilted to one side. But it was the tenderness in his eyes that made your heart flip in that same rhythm as before—the one you had been so keen on avoiding, but was becoming unbearable.

“Do you like it?” you parroted, showing him the wall with your hands. You exhaled, trying to calm your nerves down—but it was futile.

“I love it,” he replied with a warm tone coating his words. Then he approached you with a slow step, slipping a hand on your waist to pull you closer to his frame. He leaned his head forward, planting a sweet kiss on your forehead. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

A vehement shudder crossed your entire body, and you let your eyelids fall closed as he planted another kiss on your forehead, this time longer. The words he said were ones you knew your heart was aching to hear—but the noise inside your head didn’t let you form a response.

The doorbell rang loudly, making you cringe visibly and turn to the door. “I’ll get it,” you said, slipping out of his embrace.

“No, I’ll get it,” Jeonghan said kindly.

“Then I’ll go get the birthday girl,” you said, forcing a smile that didn’t feel too stiff on your face—but your heart was going a thousand miles per second.

Jeonghan caught something in your face, his eyes outlining your features before you turned around and hurried down the hall and to the toddler’s bedroom.

Sohee was playing with the new dinosaurs that her father had gotten for her birthday. She already got them all lined up on the colorful bookshelf in one corner of the room. Your stomach twisted with cuteness overload when you heard the tiny noises she was making for a triceratops as she made it stomp across the shelf.

“Hey kiddo,” you cooed, approaching her and crouching behind her. “Your friends are here. Do you want to come with me and greet them?”

She turned around and directed a steady look at your face. “Yeap,” she nodded happily, taking another dinosaur in her fist and running out of the room, squealing like she knew she was the star of the day.

You rose, and with a big sigh, you followed the toddler down to the dining room. You greeted the guests, parents of Sohee’s friends from daycare. And before you knew it, the party had already started, and it was going smoothly.

You made light conversation as you got juice boxes for all the kids, who weren’t many, but they felt like a massive multitude when they were swarming around you trying to get juice boxes and goodie bags.

“Alright, alright!” you laughed, holding up both hands. “Everyone will get one, I promise!” you said while handing a goodie bag to each kid.

You felt a hand on the small of your back. “That includes me?” Jeonghan asked close to your ear before planting a kiss on your cheek.

You leaned into the kiss. “If you behave, I’ll consider it,” you replied warmly.

“Mmn,” he hummed, pressing another loving kiss. “You know you’re all I want.” 

Your heart stammered, making you blink and find his eyes. Your tongue twisted, and you wished you had been quick enough to quip back something as enticing—but it was already too late. The doorbell rang again, but this time, neither you nor Jeonghan had to go get it.

It was Sohee’s mother, Soomin. She had only rung the doorbell to announce her arrival, since she knew the combination to the smart lock—a thing you had thought only you and Jeonghan knew, but you were proven wrong.

The person who crossed the door was entirely not what you had imagined. In all the scenarios where you had pictured yourself meeting Jeonghan’s ex and the mother of his child, you’d never imagined that it would be like this.

Soomin was beautiful. She was tall and had a bright smile as she crossed the door. “Where’s my girl?” she shouted from across the apartment, and your poor heart fell to your stomach when you saw Jeonghan smile widely.

“Oh, thank god,” he mumbled beside you. He ran quickly to his daughter, snatching her from the floor and making her squeal with the abrupt movement. Sohee laughed, drawing the attention of the room as Jeonghan carried her to see her mother. “Sohee baby, mom’s here!”

“Hi, peanut,” Soomin said in a high-pitched tone. “Happy birthday, sweetheart! Mommy is here,” she said, and then she leaned towards Sohee, who was sitting in Jeonghan’s arms.

But Sohee recoiled, turning her back to her mother. It was only natural, you thought, since the child barely recognized the face in front of her. But the scene before you hurt to watch either way. Jeonghan bounced the toddler in his arms, trying to drag her attention back to Soomin, who was getting something out of her leather handbag.

“Look what mommy got for you!” Soomin said, still speaking in that faux sweet tone. “Look!”

Sohee turned to see her mother getting a red gift bag, small enough that it fit inside the slick black leather bag. Sohee stared at it for a hard second before extending her hand and grabbing it, and then she proceeded to kick her legs to the floor.

“Alright,” Jeonghan said, putting the toddler back on the floor.

Sohee ran freely, and back to her little friends. Your gaze followed back to Jeonghan, who greeted Soomin with a very dry hey, but then approached to give her a quick hug, devoid of all kinds of affection. It was almost like neither of them knew how to treat each other anymore.

“Wow, you really went out this time,” Soomin said, looking at the decorations, the birthday cake carefully set in the centre of the table, birthday plates piled up, and trays of fruit and candy already about to empty.

“Oh, it was all her,” Jeonghan said, extending an arm towards you almost ceremoniously.

Your heart warmed up at the gesture, but your nerves had eaten you up already. You approached them with a stiff step until Jeonghan wrapped his arm around your waist to pull you up to his side, showing you off proudly.

“So I can put a face to the name, finally,” Soomin said, showing you a dashing smile. She extended a hand towards you. “I’m Soomin, Sohee’s mother.”

You took her hand. “Pleasure to meet you,” you said, smiling at her politely.

At that exact second, one of the little kids had pulled one of the candy trays from the table and thrown the candy all over the floor. “Oh—” you uttered, motioning to go clean the candy from the floor.

“I’ll get it,” Jeonghan said, giving you a quick but reassuring look. And then he said to you, “I’ll be back, baby.”

And you knew he didn’t want to leave you alone with his ex, but he also didn’t want you to go and clean up the floor. So you stood there, anxiously watching as Jeonghan picked the candies and put them back on the tray one by one.

“Can I help with anything?” Soomin asked, more for decency than true intentions of helping.

“Nope,” you said awkwardly. “Everything’s set up.”

Soomin leaned her head to one side slightly before throwing one glance to the kids playing with Sohee. “You’ve done a lot already.”

“It’s not that big of a party,” you said, shrugging.

She smiled faintly, and you knew what she was looking at. “It’s big enough,” she said faintly.

You followed her gaze, finding Sohee playing with one of her little friends. They were both sharing a soundboard that someone at the party had gifted her.

“She’s shy, isn’t she?” Soomin said, her tone was devoid of snark, but then she added, “Kind of like her father.”

Although the comment wasn’t ill-natured, it hurt your heart to hear it. “She just takes a minute,” you replied, wishing you hadn’t sounded so harsh towards Soomin. But your heart was beating frantically, making you afraid that it was going to jump out of your chest.

And then you watched as Soomin’s gaze went around the room again, stopping on the wall behind you. Her dark brown eyes went over the balloons forming a giant daisy, and the big birthday sign made by you.

“You’re really good with her,” Soomin said after a moment. Her eyes found you. “Jeonghan has told me about you.”

Your tummy clenched. “I care about her.”

“I can tell,” she replied, and then you caught an edge in her tone. And then added, softer, “Not everyone would step into something like this.”

You frowned. “Like what?”

Soomin raised her eyebrows, gesturing around the apartment, the toddlers. “Well, a life that’s already in progress, you know what I mean?”

You told yourself that the words were neutral. Nothing was targeted towards you. But it still felt like it was.

You forced a smile. “I didn’t see it that way.”

Soomin’s expression didn’t change; it was as though she were having a great time talking with you. “That’s probably why you’ve made it work. It was really brave of you to have stepped in. To do what I couldn’t.”

Your stomach clenched again, and your mouth twitched like you were about to tell her something you’d regret.

“Baby! Where are the candles?” Jeonghan called from the kitchen.

You exhaled, glad. “Excuse me,” you said, and as you walked away, you felt Soomin’s gaze on you, following you.

Your ears were ringing, anger still boiling inside you. Jeonghan was closing a drawer, his expression hardening at once as he took one look at you. “Everything okay there, beautiful?” he asked, glancing towards the living room.

You could still feel Soomin’s eyes on you. You nodded. “Yeah, everything’s fine,” you said, trying to mask your anger. You would talk about it with him later.

His eyes outlined your expression. “Sure?” 

“Sure,” you said, opening the top cabinet and then handing him the pack with green and pink candles in it.

Jeonghan grabbed the candles, sighing. “Looks like the party is going well,” he said, giving you a hopeful smile and glimmering eyes.

Despite the rage still tightening your stomach, you smiled at him. “Sohee’s happy,” you said, casting a look at Sohee. “I’ll go get her,” you told him, turning around and walking towards Sohee.

The toddler was happily focused on her toys and her little friends. Her eyes were wide and glimmering in excitement, and candy wrappers were spread all across the floor. Something caught your eye—a red, unopened gift bag, forgotten in one corner of the living room.

“Princess, come here,” you called softly, crouching behind her to see her at eye level. “Do you want cake?”

The question caught her attention immediately, making her turn around and face you. You stretched your hands to her, and she silently responded by stretching her little arms to you. You grabbed her, standing up to secure her at your hip, and she instantly wrapped her legs around you.

“Oh, I got her. Let me.”

Soomin was already behind you, showing you her palms so you could transfer Sohee to her grip. A pang of jealousy sank deep inside your belly, making you want to hold Sohee closer to your body, almost like a protective defence mechanism.

You conceded, though begrudgingly. “Of course,” you replied, but there was no way you could hide the disappointment in your tone.

With a fretful pain lacing your heart, you handed Sohee over to her mother. The toddler kicked her legs anxiously and turned to look at you as though trying to understand she wasn’t in your arms anymore. And with little control over yourself, you glanced in Jeonghan’s direction, almost as knowing he’d be looking. He had watched the whole exchange from afar, and he immediately recognized the dispirited look on your face, because all he did was offer you a solemn smile.

It made your blood boil. What else could he do? A tiny voice called inside your head. You’re not Sohee’s mother. The voice said with painful regret.

It was the truth. No matter how bad it hurt, you weren’t Sohee’s mother. And you were getting attached to her—attached to this life without having a true anchor to it.

And the thought ruined the rest of the night for you.

So you watched as Soomin sat on the table with Sohee sitting on her lap, the toddler forgot about the anxiety of being with a stranger as soon as Jeonghan stepped beside the chair and lit up the candles on the cake.

You debated whether to step closer or just watch from afar. The candles you had picked for Sohee’s cake were green and pink, and a single sparkling candle that, once Jeonghan got to light it up, stole the attention of the toddler. Her big, brown eyes glimmered in the dark against the sparkles that flew up to the ceiling, and instead of gasping or crying out as the other kids did, Sohee just stared at it, fascination spread across her face, parting her little lips.

Your stomach twisted in adoration. And you couldn’t resist it. You pulled out your phone and hit the record button, determined to save this little moment forever—even if in real life it only lasted about fifty seconds.

Sohee was happy. She ate cake happily, shared her toys with her friends and seemed to be getting better at talking with others. And that was the only shining light in your night.

By the time that all the guests had left, the apartment didn’t look as wrecked as you half expected it to be after hosting about fifteen people in it. The paper plates were stacked in a crooked tower, forks and spoons piled next to it on the kitchen counter, breadcrumbs spread all over the surface. There were plastic cups everywhere, toys, gift bags and confetti all over the living room floor.

The front door opened, and Jeonghan slipped inside the apartment, quietly closing the door behind him. The minute he stepped in, you decided to busy yourself by looking for a large trash bag that you had left somewhere in the kitchen.

“Well, that’s everyone,” Jeonghan said, pleased that all of the guests had gone home. He ran a hand through his hair, sighing.

You started shoving trash into the bag as quickly as you could without making too much noise, and you were half glad that there was so much to do before you went home because you needed to think.

But Jeonghan had already noticed you were in a mood, and you could feel him hovering in the kitchen, trying to get a read on you. “The party went really well. Everyone had a lot of fun,” he said, his tone gentle.

You were grabbing a bunch of plastic cups in one hand, throwing them inside the bag without caring that they were still half full. “Yeah. Sure,” you huffed, continuing to clean the dining table.

The silence that followed was truly unsettling, making you weigh on the tone you had used and the manner in which you were moving. You were stepping out of control, and you didn’t care where you were taking this conversation.

By the time you found the courage to raise your gaze, you found Jeonghan frowning at you. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Air left your lungs like you were suddenly punched in the chest. “Did you have fun today?” you asked, raising your eyebrows. “Because I didn’t.”

Jeonghan’s frown didn’t ease; he was confused. But his gaze softened, showing you worry. “What do you mean?” he asked, his tone dropping when he added, “Did something happen?”

You left the bag aside on the floor, dropping your arms at your sides in a defeated manner. “I mean, I spent the entire evening running around, trying to make sure everything worked,” you said, gesturing around you. “I made the food, drinks, decorations, and cleanup. I didn’t have the chance to sit down once.”

Jeonghan blinked. “You didn’t have to do all that.”

You sighed. “That’s easy to say now.”

He shifted his weight, motioning to approach you. “That’s not what I meant—”

“I know,” you cut him off, putting a hand between him and you. “I know you meant it nicely.”

You could feel the waves of emotion coming closer, coming to get you. And your body acted off of instinct, picking up one stray napkin on the table and folding it in half, almost as though preparing yourself to have something in your hand for when you started crying.

With a tearless sob, you added. “It would’ve been nice if someone had noticed while it was happening.”

Jeonghan’s frown disappeared. “I noticed.”

“Did you?” you asked, still holding your emotions back.

“Of course I did,” he said, his tone dropping to an even gentler one.

But you could still feel the tears prickling in your eyes, everything you held back making you taste them in your tongue. “Then why was I still doing everything while everyone else was enjoying the party?”

Jeonghan tilted his head to one side, looking at you as though finding you endearing that you were about to cry for something like this, but still approached you with caution. “Why didn’t you ask for help?” he said, and then he hesitated, almost as though wanting to take back his words, so he added instead, “I was busy with things as well, I thought we were both busy, baby.”

You deadpanned to him. “You really didn’t think I wanted to enjoy the party too?”

He opened his mouth, his eyes widening as his mind started to reel, you knew it.

But you kept going. “I wanted to sit down with her when she opened her presents. Or be next to her when she blew out the candles. Honestly, Jeonghan, I felt like a guest at a party I helped throw. I couldn’t even hold Sohee for two minutes!”

His face fell in utter worry, his shoulders going slack. “Is this all because Soomin wanted to hold her?” he asked, his tone hollow, like he now couldn’t believe you were throwing a tantrum over this.

You let out an exasperated sigh. “No—! Yes! But it’s not only that!” you stammered.

Jeonghan stepped back, but just slightly, as though he wanted to take a good look at your face—disbelief still contorting his face. “Soomin was just trying to have a moment with her as well,” he shook his head. “I don’t see that as a bad thing. Maybe you’re reading too much into it.”

“Am I?” you asked, raising your tone.

And Jeonghan sighed. “Baby… she’s Sohee’s mother.”

It wasn’t necessarily cruel. His tone was devoid of venom, but it still hurt—like a bitter truth being forced down your bloodstream, burning and leaving an ache in its wake.

Your entire body shook before a powerful shudder. “Right,” you said slowly.

Jeonghan immediately realized the weight of his words, the pain translating in your features. “Wait—” he said, his jaw set tight as his eyes widened in worry. “Baby, I didn’t mean it like that. I meant—”

You shook your head. “No, I get it,” you said, but your voice had lost all power, and the wall you had put between reason and emotions crumbled. Tears burst in your eyes, and a sob broke through your chest.

“You’re right. I’m not her mom,” you continued, giving him a brittle smile. “I never forgot that. Not for a second,” you said, voice cracking slightly. “You know, I keep reminding myself of that. Of where I stand.”

Jeonghan took another step towards you, this time more decisive. “Baby, you’re blowing this out of proportion,” he said, trying to be nice still, trying to figure out how to calm you down.

You looked down to wipe your tears. Confetti was spread all over the floor, and your stomach twisted at the thought of how this scene might appear from the outside. The apartment was a mess—gift bags, wrapping paper, candy, and new toys scattered across the living room. A half-eaten cake sat on the table, and balloons were stuck to the walls. The lights in the kitchen and living room remained on. You and Jeonghan were arguing, trying to keep your voices down so as not to disturb the little girl’s sleep.

You finally found the strength to look at him again. And when Jeonghan saw your tired face, fear replaced the worry in his eyes. He saw the determination in your eyes—he knew you well. “I think I’m going to go.”

Jeonghan sighed, motioning a step closer. “It’s late. Stay,” he said, his tone still wrapped in a careful gentleness.

You shook your head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Jeonghan,” you said, your tone fading into a mere whisper. “I’m going home.”

He took a pause, studying you with his gaze roaming all over the features of your face, finding something in your eyes that made you wonder what you would look like. Because he seemed to lose all composure. “Baby, come on,” he said, his eyebrows drawn in. “We just had a fight. That doesn’t mean you need to leave.”

You sighed tiredly. “It wasn’t just a fight, Jeonghan,” you said calmly. All need to fight was gone now. You had lost. You shook your head. “I’m done.”

You turned around, heading towards the door. But you caught a glimpse of Jeonghan’s expression, the shock and worry making his eyes wide and glistening. “Baby.”

You grabbed your sweater and your handbag. The only two non-disposable belongings you had in his house.

“Baby,” he insisted again, more firmly now. “You’re not seriously leaving because of something I said.”

You paused, but you didn’t let the moment catch you in your determination. “It’s not just something you said. It’s a fact.”

Jeonghan stiffened, but words got stuck in his mouth, making his throat bob visibly.

You wrapped your fingers around the doorknob. And then all self-control slipped out of your hands. “Today I learned two things. One is that I was changing my whole life to fit into yours,” you told him, pulse quickening when you realized what you were doing, what you were breaking. “And the other thing is that I was the only one doing that.”

Jeonghan took a weak step towards you, his eyes showing the realization of what was about to happen. “We can still figure things out,” he whispered, eyes wide and glossy.

And something reminded you of how easy Soomin walked back into Jeonghan and Sohee’s life, how fleeting her presence was compared to the mess you had in your hands now. Your heart was breaking, and you couldn’t fit in your head how easy it was for her to walk out and walk back in. You envied that for a split second, because now you had a broken heart to fix.

Jeonghan still thought the problem was logical. And not something you had been wanting him to truly see.

You took in a deep breath. “Goodbye, Jeonghan,” you whispered, slipping out through the door and shutting it quietly behind you.

Coming back home to your apartment felt hauntingly out of the ordinary. It was as though you were stepping into a scene that had been put on pause. There was a forgotten glass of juice half empty on the kitchen counter, and you couldn’t remember leaving it there. The ironing board was standing in the middle of the living room, iron unplugged and in the holder—two things you had left there while in a hurry to get to your work in time. Plants all over the apartment were starting to wither, neglected.

A secondary instinct kicked in, telling you that at this hour you’d be helping Jeonghan tidy the place up while Sohee slept. You’d be stacking toys back into their place, folding blankets while Jeonghan did the dishes.

You closed your eyes slowly, finally hurting when you realized that you had walked out on all of it.

And your apartment didn’t feel like home.

You left your things on the counter and decided to plop down on the couch, face down against the cushions. Your pulse hadn’t slowed down since the moment you’d said goodbye to Jeonghan—and when you collapsed on the couch, you realized that you were crying. And you weren’t crying angry tears like when you were having a fight with Jeonghan, no.

You sobbed uncontrollably, tears kept coming and blurring your vision. And there was nothing in your mind except the memory of Jeonghan’s face when you walked out on him. You did the right thing, you told yourself, but your heart felt empty.

It had been the right thing. That much was true.

You loved Jeonghan. You loved Sohee.

Somewhere in the kitchen, you heard your phone buzzing, vibrating furiously inside your handbag. You ignored it. And you ignored it ten times all through the night, until it eventually ceased ringing.

Quiet settled around the empty apartment. An apartment that was yours, with all the things you built on your own. And the worst part is that it didn’t feel like home anymore. You kept wanting to reach for your car keys and leave somewhere.

Did you overreact? You wondered. I probably did blow everything out of proportion. You thought, remembering Soomin’s satisfied face when she told you that you were brave for stepping into her shoes.

Your chest tightened.

But you pushed it down.

The first twenty hours were hell.

That’s how Jeonghan felt. Like a long, gruelling torture that only pushed him to reflect.

The balloons on the wall had started to deflate, but he didn’t want to take them down. The rest of the things that you had prepared for the party had already been cleaned up, one thing that Jeonghan had done the morning after you left. It helped him think instead of bombarding your voicemail with messages pleading with you to call him back.

I could just go to her apartment, he thought. But he imagined the scene—Sohee on his arms as he begged you to come back. And he instantly pushed the idea away.

The apartment was awfully quiet. Until his phone started to vibrate on the dining table, making his stomach drop, and his hand reached for it instantly, thinking it was you, finally calling him back.

Soomin.

Jeonghan sighed, his heart deflating.

But then, a knock came to the front door. And for a moment, he thought he imagined it.

Then it came again. You knocked two quick times, deciding to step back from it and wait, clasping the gift bag with your hands. Standing there, your gaze fell out of focus, and inevitably started comparing the times you had stood there, how quickly Jeonghan would get to the door and welcome you in with open arms.

When Jeonghan finally opened the door, it was the first time you had seen him truly torn. It was normal for you to see him untidy after a long day at work, hair messy, unmade tie, untucked shirt, whatever. But no, this time was different. His face was darkened by the dark circles under his eyes, but it was the deep, conflicted sparkle in them that disheartened you completely.

“Hi,” you croaked, and cleared your throat nervously.

Jeonghan let out a quick sigh, running a palm down his mouth and chin before stepping aside, letting you in.

Your stomach twisted. You didn’t know what you were expecting him to say, but silence was the last thing you had anticipated. But you stepped into the apartment anyway, immediately spotting the quietness, which could only indicate one thing.

“Where is she?” you muttered, turning around to see Jeonghan shutting the door behind him quietly.

“Asleep,” he told you quietly, leaning back against the door with his hands tucked behind his back. You noticed the tired look he gave you, but that wasn’t the only thing that consumed your attention wholly—he was wary. “I just put her to bed.”

Your heart squeezed one more time, and you gave him a reproachful look. “Oh, okay,” you sighed, looking at the green gift bag in your hands. “Then I’ll leave this with you. She’ll like it, I’m sure. It’s a—it’s an axolotl plushie,” you said, stammering over your words with the need to hurry and get this over with. You wanted to run back to your car and cry.

Jeonghan nodded, licking his lips in a way that told you he had a lot to say, but decided to remain quiet. See how things would unfold first.

But this wasn’t going according to your plans. Your eyes began to brim with tears, which you blinked away quite successfully. “I wanted to see her one last time. Say goodbye properly,” you told him, tone lowering as your throat closed up.

He leaned the back of his head against the door, and as he blinked slowly, you saw his walls crumble down. “I know,” he said, his tone lowered too. He swallowed hard, his throat bobbing visibly.

You saw him blink up, fixing his gaze on the ceiling. “Is that why you put her to bed earlier than usual?” you asked keenly. “So I wouldn’t get to see her?”

Jeonghan nodded slowly, moving his arms and crossing them on his chest. “I didn’t want her to see this. I’m sorry,” he shrugged with a look of pity on his face. “But I think we should talk first.”

You felt your brow furrowing. “I thought we already talked, Jeonghan. Last night,” you said, feeling lost.

“Yeah, but last night you walked out on me,” he said, tilting his head to one side as his gaze changed, quickly being filled with disappointment and resentment. He pushed himself away from the door, approaching you with the same wariness.

“There was nothing left to say,” you muttered, trying to keep down the tight knot sitting in your throat.

“Really?” he gasped, stopping dead in his tracks just one step in front of you. His face had fallen in something that went far beyond resentment now, like uncontrolled exasperation and anger. “We could’ve solved things last night before you ended everything!”

Shame filled your bloodstream, coursing through your body and leaving your skin feeling hot and prickling with anger. You carefully set down the gift bag on the table, deciding to leave. “I won’t let anyone treat me like I’m second-best, Jeonghan. That’s why I walked out.”

It was as though you had slapped him in the face. He stepped back, blinking in a way that told you that your words had hurt him. But before you could have a confirmation on this, Jeonghan took another step, but now in your direction. “I didn’t treat you like second-best,” he replied, his face crumpling with hurt, and most shocking—you saw fear in his eyes.

“No? I was trying to make everything perfect for Sohee. And by the end of it, what did I get? Your ex walking all over me like I’m her stand-in!” you blurted, words coming out raw and shaky. But you were glad that, despite the overwhelming need to cry, you could still speak what troubled your heart.

Jeonghan looked at you like he was finally seeing the truth. Almost as though he had willingly blindfolded himself throughout the party last night, but now, he finally saw something he didn’t want to.

So, with heat flooding your chest, you continued, “You truly didn’t notice, Jeonghan? The tacit remarks she’d make? Or when I wanted to hold Sohee and she would casually step in? Or what about the moment she told me I was brave for doing what she couldn’t?” you said. Your throat tightened, anger burning as tears finally spilled. You wiped them angrily, refusing to look away.

“She said that?” he said with an empty look in his eyes as his shoulders sagged a little. “I didn’t hear her. I actually thought she was being nice. For once.”

“Maybe you didn’t want to see it because she was being nice to you,” you accused, crossing your arms to hold yourself steady. Or to protect yourself. “That’s myproblem. She doesn’t have to fight for a space!”

“That’s not fair. You don’t have to fight for a space—”

“No, but I do,” you interrupted, blood heating up after remembering how it felt. “And what’s not fair was pretending she was being nice. She knew exactly what she was doing, and whether you meant it or not, you let her.”

“I should’ve known she would do things when I wasn’t looking,” Jeonghan replied, his tone firm. But then his gaze softened, right as he too crossed his arms, making you think that he was guarding himself up as well.

You let out a resigned sigh. “But this isn’t truly about your ex, Jeonghan,” you finally said, gulping hard. “This is about us failing to do things right.”

And when he lifted his gaze back to you, you noticed a glint in his eyes, like sorrow taking over him. He wasn’t crying, but your heart slowed down at seeing that torn-up look on him. Your words had struck a nerve. “This isn’t on me—I tried making things right!” he said, not lifting his tone, his words devoid of heat.

“You were rushing into things! Asking me to move in? Putting me as the emergency contact on Sohee’s file without telling me?” you said, trying to keep your tone light, but instead you sounded like you were on the brink of tears again.

He still looked hurt, but now, he was beginning to detach himself from you—and you could tell. He shook his head like he couldn’t believe you, running a hand down his mouth, frustratedly. “I thought that you moving in with us would make us stronger. But now I know we weren’t on the same page with that.”

You understood why he delivered his words dryly, but it still made your aching heart deflate even more. Tears burst from your eyes again, and you hated that you were now out of control. “I just wanted to know that you weren’t just looking for someone to share the burden with.”

He let out a huff, a cold smile painting his face. “I don’t need someone to share the burden with; I have been doing fine on my own since Soomin left.”

You rolled your eyes—he was missing the point. “I wanted to be certain that you wanted me.”

That left him cold. His arms were still crossed on his chest, but you saw the smallest of budges, as though the very air had left his lungs, cracking that wall he was putting between you. “Is that it? Is that why you said no?” he asked, his tone softer. He motioned to approach you, but the look on your face stopped him.

You were fully crying now. No sobbing, no hiccupping, no runny nose. Just unstoppable tears streaking down your cheeks. Your lip trembled, just as you were looking for the words to tell him what you needed to hear from him.

His mind reeled—you could tell from the way his gaze shifted quickly, dropping from your face to the ground and then back to you. His brow twitched. “I thought you knew.”

You nodded. “I still needed to hear it, Jeonghan.”

His gaze fell to the space between you, as though trying to untangle this mess in his mind.

But it didn’t matter now. Nothing he could say now would ease the pain in your chest. You were done now. You wanted to go home.

You didn’t say goodbye this time. You didn’t want to drag it any further.

You walked past him, rushing to the door before he could stop you—or to be quick and have the confirmation that he wouldn’t try to stop you. And when you were safe in the elevator, your heart broke anew when you blinked and saw the image of Jeonghan standing in the dining room, a grief-stricken look on his face.

Oh, this would take you months to heal.

Your friends were right. Getting into a relationship with someone like Jeonghan would only bring you pain. Nothing else.

The walk from the elevator to where you had parked your car was excruciatingly long. Your chest was constricting more and more as you fished your key out of the pocket of your jeans, unlocking the car door from afar.

“Wait!”

Jeonghan’s raw voice crossed the parking lot like lightning shooting through the night sky. You stopped, not because you wanted to follow the request, but because of the sheer shock of knowing that he’d chased you down to the parking lot.

Jeonghan was catching up, running to where you stood, frozen to the ground. “Wait,” he pleaded, breathing hard as he reached you. “Don’t go… please.”

Had he run down the emergency stairs just to catch you before you got in your car? Had he left Sohee alone just to get to you? You stared at him, beyond disbelief.

He composed himself with one deep breath, raising his palms at you warily. “I know I don’t deserve this, but please hear me out.”

When you didn’t respond, a wild look of fear shot across his face, making his eyes widen slightly. “I didn’t ask you to move in with us because I wanted someone to share the burden of being a parent,” he said, his words honest despite the tremble in his tone. “I said those things because Sohee is my priority. I was dumb, and that was the first thing that popped into my mind. I wasn’t thinking of how I sounded.”

He gulped air, hard. “I asked you to move in with us because I feel empty when you’re not around,” he said, more fiercely, his eyes glimmering as he took another step towards you. “I asked you to move in with me because of the most selfish reason—because I don’t want to be without you.”

And then the look in his eyes turned to complete despair when you remained motionless. His confession had done nothing to you, or so he appeared to believe. But your heart was beating wildly, thumping in your eardrums. You stood there, torn between holding your ground and giving in to him.

His mouth parted, and he took half a pace to where you stood. But he stopped, as though all strength and courage had dissipated the moment your eyes began to brim with tears again. “Please,” he whispered, gulping hard once again. And you knew what he was feeling—his heart thrumming in his throat. “Don’t do this.”

He wasn’t scared of losing a perfect candidate for his ex’s stand-in. No—and you were a fool to have believed that. You had seen the terrible person his ex was and still decided to run with that idea.

What you had failed to remember was that Jeonghan had gone through difficult breakups before. His ex left him with a baby in his arms. And even if his relationship with Soomin had been loveless from the start, it was still hard, and it still hurt.

God knows how long it had been since Jeonghan felt love.

And the truth is, you trusted that not even he remembers it as well.

Jeonghan was exceptionally bad at sharing his feelings aloud. That is one thing you’ve learned in all eight months you’ve been with him. But then you saw his posture change, the strength in him waning. “I won’t let things go this way again,” he told you, his eyes pleading.

A brutal shudder coursed through you. You loved this man. There was no way you could just turn around and walk away.

Your lip trembled. “You promise?”

It was as though life had been injected into him, hope glimmering in his eyes now. “I promise,” he replied.

With just a couple of paces, you closed the space between you and him, grabbing him by the collar of his black t-shirt and pulling him in. And he simply let you, receiving the impact of your smaller body against his by grabbing you by the waist, already knowing you were aiming for a kiss.

Your lips clashed with his in a crushing kiss; it almost hurt, but you didn’t care. Your body brimmed with energy, making your fingers curl around the fabric of his t-shirt. It was a leap of faith—but this time, you were ready. “I love you,” you said, squeezing your eyelids tightly.

A small sigh escaped him. “I love you too,” he replied, switching his hands from your waist to your face, cupping it before going back to kissing you. “Please, stay,” he whispered before pressing his lips against yours tightly.

You melted in his embrace. “Okay,” you replied, nodding.

He wrapped you with his arms completely, placing one hand on your back and the other on your head, making your face nuzzle against the crook of his neck. “You scared me,” he whispered, the sound of his voice strangled.

You swallowed hard. “You scared me too,” you admitted.

He kissed the top of your head, moving to cup your face again. “I know this doesn’t solve everything,” he said, his tone brittle. That’s when you noticed his eyelashes crumpled with tears. “So I think we should talk about what comes next.”

You shifted slightly to get the tears on the corners of your eyes. “What do you mean?”

He seemed to calm down with one breath. “Soomin is still going to be part of our lives.”

You nodded. “I know.”

His eyebrows knitted slightly. “And sometimes our lives will get messy.”

“I know that, Jeonghan,” you whispered, smiling at him softly.

He caressed your cheek tenderly. “But I want you to talk to me every time something feels off,” he said.

“And will you?” you asked.

He nodded. “Every single time,” he said. “I want us to be stronger together.”

The certainty in his demeanour made you pause. “You mean that?” you asked with a tiny tone.

“Yes, I do,” he replied. “I should’ve told you this before. I don’t want to be without you.”

And now the honesty was the thing that disarmed you completely. For a second, you almost felt like your vulnerable side was about to win, but you sighed. “I was jealous of her,” you confessed.

He blinked in disbelief. “Of Soomin?”

You nodded. “She’s Sohee’s mom. I didn’t like to feel that I was competing with her.”

“You weren’t,” he said with certainty. “Things got messy yesterday. I didn’t notice she was trying to make you feel insecure.”

You shook your head lightly. “This whole thing feels ridiculous now.”

He frowned. “What does?”

“All of this,” you gestured to the space between you and him. “We nearly blew up our entire relationship because we couldn’t talk about what we actually feel.”

He let out a light laugh. “It won’t happen again,” he said, stepping back and grabbing your hand, motioning back to the building. “Let’s go back inside?”

You nodded, walking with him, feeling ten times lighter than before.

You both stepped into the elevator, still holding hands. But as soon as the doors closed, Jeonghan tugged at your hand, pulling you closer to his frame. He wrapped an arm around your waist, finding your cheek with the other hand. “Will you forgive me?” he mumbled softly, smiling at you like he was shy. “I let things go out of hand.”

Your heart softened again, making you choke up, so you just nodded. “Me too,” you whispered. “I apologize too.”

He blinked slowly. “We talked about this before, remember?” he told you. “My life is messy, and I haven’t had a relationship since Soomin. I think this is us trying to find the balance in everything.”

You smiled at him. “Please don’t tell me that finding the balance will look like this every time.”

He laughed lightly. “I told you, baby. I won’t let this happen again,” he said, full of certainty. “I mean it.”

You sighed softly, relief finally setting in. “Okay,” you whispered, closing your eyes as he leaned in to kiss you, pressing his lips against yours ever so tenderly, like he was trying to isolate every single feeling and just focus on how your lips felt against his.

The kiss deepened, lips locking together in a heated dance that had your blood dancing in your veins almost instantly. A moan bubbled in your mouth when you felt the tip of his tongue swiping on your bottom lip, touching your tongue as it rolled inside your mouth.

You placed a hand square on his chest. “Don’t think you’re off the hook,” you said, faking a stern look on your face.

The elevator reached the floor, doors parting with a soft ding. Jeonghan took your hand again, as though not wanting to let you go for one second. “I didn’t think it would be that easy,” he said with a smirk. “But please tell me what I can do to get there faster.”

You laughed. “Well, first, you could give me a neck massage.”

He raised his eyebrows. “That’s starting strong?” he laughed.

“And take me for dinner at that restaurant you keep telling me you wanted to take me,” you said.

“You free tomorrow?” he said while opening the door for you.

He quickly pushed your back against the wall of the hall to his bedroom, locking his lips with yours in a quick, but passionate kiss. “I could pick you up at eight,” he said, his tone raw.

“I dunno. I’ll have to check my calendar,” you replied jokingly, putting your hands on his chest, feeling him up.

Jeonghan giggled into the kiss. “You do that,” he replied.

You smiled, letting him dominate the kiss. And Jeonghan quickly took on the task, kissing you vehemently, like putting every emotion he felt for you into a silent dance of his lips with yours. His hands slipped from your face, finding your waist to clutch on as his tongue rolled inside your mouth.

You moaned, feeling his tongue against yours sent a shiver down your spine. Your hands on his torso slipped further down, finding the hem of his clothes and slipping beneath his shirt, feeling his warm skin.

The muscle of his abdomen contracted softly. “Wait—” Jeonghan said, pausing mid-kiss with a smacking sound from his lips and yours. “Bathroom.”

You were only able to moan out a sound of affirmation. The door to the bathroom was a couple of steps away from you, and when you both got there, it was as though a lightbulb had been switched on in your mind. Jeonghan was intending to take you to the most secluded place in the house—far away from the baby’s room.

Jeonghan turned the lights on with one hand, undoing the button of his jeans with the other. You acted quickly—taking one step in his direction and grabbing the black t-shirt, enjoying the look in his eyes, the hunger, the lust and devotion in them.

The clothes came off quietly—hurriedly, while his gaze remained trained on your face. Jeonghan was quiet, unusually quiet as you worked your trembling fingers to undress him. “Do you want to undress me?” you mumbled, your tone sweet, but low.

He blinked slowly and nodded, biting his bottom lip. He first grabbed the hem of your tank top, hiking it up your torso while you raised your arms to help him in the process. His gaze shifted to your chest when your bralette came into view. “I like this,” he whispered, running the pad of his thumb along the pretty lace hem of the cup of the bralette. “You know I like this one.”

You smiled softly. “If you’re suggesting that I wore the bra you liked to break up with you in case something happened, then you’re sorely mistaken,” you replied smugly.

He matched your smile. “I’m glad,” he whispered, tilting his head to meet your lips with his. He kissed you once, softly at first, his lips creating a low smacking sound when he pulled back, but not far. “I’m glad you didn’t break up with me.”

“I guess all we needed was to talk it out,” you joked in between hurried, heated pecks. Then your breath hitched, Jeonghan’s cold fingers had found the clasp of your bralette.

Jeonghan sighed in amusement. “Who would’ve thought,” he replied with an obvious tone while his hands gently eased the straps off your shoulders, and took your bra off your chest.

You needed one second to take in the situation in—you had just gone through one of the worst moments of your life, thinking that you were breaking up with the man you had fallen head over heels for. And now to be back in his apartment, hiding in the bathroom with him so that whatever went down in there wouldn’t wake the baby up.

It felt strangely exciting.

He pushed the tip of his nose against yours softly, making you angle your face as he swiped the tip of his tongue on your bottom lip, asking for entrance. You parted your mouth, letting him in with a silent moan, right as his tongue found yours. He kissed you slowly, sensually, like he had been aching to do that for the longest time, but things just got in the way.

You understood then, all the intense gazes, the way he kept looking at your lips…

“From now on, I’ll tell you everything,” he told you suddenly, giving you small kisses as his hands came up to cup your face lovingly. “Every single thought that crosses my brain, you’ll know it.”

You laughed at that, the sound louder than anything else; it bounced off the walls in a denouncing manner.

“Quiet, baby,” Jeonghan uttered, but he let out a tiny giggle with you anyway. “Sohee might hear you.”

You couldn’t help it; your heart melted. “Sorry,” you whispered, but the smile didn’t wipe off your face.

He tilted his head to one side, smiling endearingly at you. “I have a feeling you like this,” he muttered, voice low like a purr.

You nodded, biting your lower lip as you pushed his boxers down.

“You like it when I tell you to be quiet,” he kept going, keeping his tone down.

His gaze dropped to your hands as you grabbed his cock and started stroking him with your hand wrapped around the underside of his shaft. He had a pretty cock, soft and veiny on his thick shaft, dark pink on its head.

Seeing your hand rolling up and down his erect cock made him swallow a grunt, but as you twisted your grip around him, the sounds he made grew louder. How easy it was for him to surrender under your touch caused a deep satisfaction to bloom in your chest. But more than that, arousal had already started to pulsate between your legs. You enjoyed giving him pleasure just as much as you enjoyed receiving it.

“I like everything you do, daddy,” you mumbled, your tone wrapped in honey.

“Fuck,” he sighed, pressing his forehead against yours. He slipped his hands on your waist, clutching your skin tightly but not enough for it to burn. “You make me crazy.” 

Your fist tightened around the crown of his cock, smearing the slick precum leaking from his slit. You loved pleasuring him, yes, but you needed him inside you—the thrumming between your legs ached to feel him. A cunning smile painted your lips, considering playing with him some more.

But Jeonghan caught that naughty smirk on your face.

In one motion, he pushed your back to the countertop of the sink. You gasped at the sudden movement, but before you could protest, he was already getting to one knee in front of you.

“If you make a single sound, I’ll stop,” he told you, his eyes darkened with need and lust.

And without waiting for your verbal response, his head dipped down, pressing his mouth to your mound. He kissed the top of your pussy first, pressing his lips to your skin tenderly, almost adoringly as his sweet brown eyes found yours, but briefly. You let out a ragged breath, parting your legs by half, sitting on the countertop. That gave him all the access to your slick folds, which he nipped and licked eagerly.

You instantly tensed, your hand finding his head and the other holding onto the basin like your life depended on it. Jeonghan knew you well; he knew how you liked being touched, how to eat your pussy out until you were a mess of tears and babbles. He knew how to make you cum. What he was doing now was just to tease you, to drive you crazy—licking the juices off your folds with pleased grunts from his part, loving the way you were always ready for him.

He grabbed your thighs, spreading you further apart so you stopped twitching and moving—and licked your pussy up and down slowly, thoroughly, only to tease you some more.

But then he finally wrapped his lips around your clit, sucking it ever so lightly.

Your jaw went slack, and to not let a scream out, the hand that was previously clutching the basin flew and landed on the tap, accidentally pushing it open. The sound of water flowing freely was the perfect mask for your whiny moans, because Jeonghan had started to run his tongue flatly on top of your engorged clit, all the while his lips kept it trapped.

Thoughts ceased to exist. Nothing mattered to you except for the sweet waves of pleasure running uncontrollably through your veins, making your skin prickle and your nipples pebble. It was as though you were submerged in a pool of pleasure. Your breathing turned ragged, and your body tensed solely to let the orgasm build up—because Jeonghan wasn’t stopping, and apparently, he had forgotten about the no noise rule.

Or maybe he liked this too.

But then he lifted his face slightly, keeping his lips and tongue on the top of your pussy as his lust-filled gaze met yours. You sank your teeth on your bottom lip, using the hand that was cradling the back of his head to push his face against your cunt, begging him silently to continue.

Jeonghan eyed the basin swiftly, briefly. And that was all the command you needed. You pushed your thumb against the tap, shutting it off.

However, he continued being a tease. Or a menace. He dragged his tongue against your swollen clit, pushing the wet muscle against you, achingly slow.

Your eyebrows pinched. Please, you begged with just one look.

There was a smile that only showed in his eyes right before he resumed eating you out, sucking and licking your clit. And he only needed to do it for mere thirty seconds before your orgasm tore through your body. You forgot about pulling his hair, taking that hand against your own mouth to stop yourself from screaming.

The waves of pleasure running through you were beyond anything else you’ve felt before. He’d teased you for so long that you were very much ready for that orgasm, leaving you limp and trembling on the countertop.

Your chest was rising and falling dramatically. Embarrassed, you cast a look at Jeonghan, who was pushing himself onto his feet with a light but wicked grin on his face. He didn’t need to say anything, he knew that you’d liked that.

And you needed him now.

You grabbed his wrist, pulling so that he stood between your thighs. “Wait,” he whispered, sliding his hands on your thighs to bring you to a halt.

You instantly knew what he’d say. You shook your head. “I want you now,” you mumbled.

But he motioned a hand to the cabinet behind you, where you knew he kept one large box of condoms. He kept it there and would also restock the bedside table every night you stayed in.

You grabbed him by the hip, pulling him closer to your body. “Now,” you whined. 

Jeonghan didn’t resist, didn’t question you.

His hands returned to your thighs, wrenching them further apart and positioning himself between them. Tilting your hips up, you angled yourself for him while still sitting back on the countertop—you knew he liked the view of his bare cock entering you, the view of your pussy stretched open with his girth.

So his head dipped, keeping his gaze where your body and his were about to join. He pushed his hips closer to yours, and you took his cock, guiding it to your sopping core. His mouth parted when the crown of his cock nuzzled your entrance, and a rush of excitement flowed through you when you felt him push inside.

Feeling him raw, skin on skin, was a delicious experience. Maybe it was more in your brain than in your body—because you swore you could cum right there and then, and he wasn’t even fully inside you.

You caught a glimpse of his face changing, of the pleasure taking over him quickly as he gave the first thrust, the muscle of his jaw twitched, and he immediately crushed his mouth with yours. With a muffled moan, he started moving, languidly at first, as though testing you.

“God, baby, you feel… amazing,” he whispered, pushing his hips with gentle motions. You believed that he wanted to take it slowly, so he wouldn’t finish fast and inside you. But then you heard how fucking wet you were. You could hear his cock slipping in and out of your walls, and Jeonghan wanted to enjoy it.

You cupped the side of his neck with one hand, motioning his gaze back to yours. You stared into his eyes for a long moment while he took your body slowly. Jeonghan blinked, his hands grabbing your thighs and motioning them around his hips, making it even harder for him to pull out.

It was a game you both had. And it made you feral. You loved it.

Jeonghan pushed his body flushed against yours, thrusting slowly, but deeply. “Like that?” he asked, although he didn’t need to—the look on your face told him enough.

But you nodded either way. You remembered what he said about telling you every single thought that crossed his brain, and you decided to give him some of your thoughts in return. “I love this,” you whispered. “I love feeling you like this.”

He let out a grunt, bowing his head to kiss your shoulder. “I know,” he sighed, his breath fanning your pert nipples. “I love it too.”

You slipped your hand from his neck and then locked your arms around his shoulders. All reason flew out of your brain, and then you knew you were just babbling—but you didn’t care. “The thought of you cumming inside me makes me cum,” you mumbled, uncaring of how pathetically sweet your tone sounded.

“Oh, fuck,” Jeonghan moaned loudly, the sound barely muffled by the crook of your neck, hips stuttering against yours for half a second.

You cupped his nape with your hand as he lifted his head to face you. “Yeah?” he hummed, his gaze taking you in. “Want me to pump you full of my cum?” he asked with a playful lilt.

You nodded, incapable of giving him a verbal reply. The question was crude; it sounded beyond dirty and sinful as it came out of his lips. This surely wasn’t the first time he spoke filthy things to you, but it was the first time he asked a question like this.

And you loved it.

The pacing of his thrusts quickened, but didn’t relent on their depth, keeping his body flush against yours. You could feel the film layer of sweat covering his skin, and for a moment, you couldn’t tell if you were sweating as well.

But you noticed that Jeonghan was forgetting about your game of keeping quiet. The pacing of his thrusts quickening also meant that the sounds of skin slapping against skin were harder to avoid. You thought of mentioning this to him, but it turned you on to see him lose control slowly.

“Babe,” you whispered, “be quiet.”

Jeonghan had to bite his smile back. And fuck, you loved this man. One of the things you loved about him was how sexy he could be. He pushed his hips against yours in a particularly thorough way that made you think he was trying to reach as deep into you as he could, making you whimper loudly.

“You be quiet,” he bit back, continuing to slip his cock in and out of your walls deliciously, making you see stars.

Your eyelids fell closed, but you could capture the image of him leaning his face closer to yours, feeling his breath on your lips before he kissed them. “Quiet or you won’t get to cum,” he said, his tone raspy, tired.

“Doesn’t that mean you won’t either?” you taunted, loving the way the pacing of his thrusts changed. You knew he was trying to draw out his own pleasure, make himself last longer.

Jeonghan laughed, the sound languid. “Remember how I got you to shut up that one time?” he asked, his tone still low, waning. And when the memory instantly flashed behind your closed lids, your walls tightened around him, drawing out a moan from him.

That time, he showed you a different side of himself. You were being louder than most nights, having fun by testing how far Jeonghan would go to make you submit to him.

“Yeah, you remember it,” he drawled, moving his face ever so slightly so he could join his lips with yours, all while still moving inside you painfully slow. He was edging you, and in turn, he was edging himself as well. “I thought you looked pretty with my cock inside your mouth,” he said.

You could’ve fallen over the edge in that second. A shameful whine came out of you, but you were too gone to even think of how pathetic you were sounding. You didn’t care. Having Jeonghan inside you, raw, and speaking filth to you felt so good. “I’ll be quiet, Hannie,” you told him. “Just don’t stop.”

With a grunt, Jeonghan obliged, changing the push and pull from a painfully slow one to a deliciously hard and deep one. You let out a silent moan, angling your hips to him so he could reach deeper inside you, so you could feel him completely.

Jeonghan cussed, his voice drowned out by the dull sound of skin hitting against skin. And it was then that you knew that this was his obsession—the quiet play, the bickering, the very obvious sounds of pleasure…

And you simply let him take you. The closer he grew to his orgasm, the closer you felt like giving in to the sweet pleasure dancing beneath your skin. Jeonghan parted his mouth, and you felt his hips buckling, his hands gripping your hips, his body flush and pushing against yours…

“Fuck, baby,” he said with a tired, but blissful drawl. “I’m close,” he said, his words heavy with meaning.  

And you knew what he wanted to say. “Inside,” you moaned. “Do it inside me.”

Jeonghan gave you another one of those hazy smiles, tilting his head back so you could see his face, while pleasure took over the features of his beautiful face. “Are you going to cum for me, sweetheart?” he asked, looking like he was in between happy and tired.

You nodded. “Uh-huh,” you mewled, aware that the sounds bouncing off the walls of the bathroom had become louder. But you didn’t care, and Jeonghan didn’t seem to pay attention.

He pushed inside, slamming his front to yours, switching the grip on one side of your thigh to your hair at the base of your head. “Then give it to me,” he whispered, the sound raspy and full of greed. “Cum for me.”

You could’ve gone off simply from the way he was talking to you. But you needed to get it done, fast, now. You moved your body slightly, taking your hand in between his body and yours and started rubbing your clit, teasing it with fast swirls. “Daddy,” you moaned, louder. His thrusts were deep, hard, and so fucking good. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

Jeonghan responded with a deep moan of his own. “Baby,” he gasped, releasing the grip he had on your hair, his hand sliding down your back as he dropped his forehead on your shoulder.

You closed your eyes, letting your orgasm barrel down your body, letting Jeonghan push his cum deep inside you with a couple of final, languid thrusts. His face was pressed tightly against the crook of your neck, making your skin prickle as he breathed hard against you.

The inner side of your thighs trembled quite dramatically as you tried holding onto him. Jeonghan let out a light, breathy giggle, right as you, too, were composing yourself, caressing his naked back with the tips of your fingers.

Then you felt his lips on the crook of your neck, your shoulder, leaving a trail of goosebumps on your skin. “I’ll start a shower for you,” he croaked, lifting his head to direct a tender look at you. “I have to go check on Sohee.”

You nodded. “Okay,” you replied.

But there was a great reluctance in his following movements. Casting a look down your body, he carefully peeled his body back from yours, turning around to start the shower. You watched him as he walked back, only to plant a sweet kiss on the tip of your nose before grabbing his shorts and slipping through the bathroom door.

Once you found your limbs, you climbed off the counter and stepping before the shower. After testing the temperature, you stood below the stream, closing your eyes as you let the water wash down your face.

Your heart still felt heavy with the weight of a thousand questions and things that you still wanted to say. But one thing was finally clear to you.

The gentle sounds coming from the door announced he was back, right as you were halfway done washing up. When he stepped into the shower, he immediately wrapped his arms around you, his chest pressing against your back as he embraced you tightly. “Hey,” you mumbled, grabbing his forearm to squeeze him.

He inhaled deeply, pressing his lips to your hair. “Hey,” he replied, his tone low and raspy.

You turned around, moving on the shower floor so that the stream bathed his bare skin. “Let me,” you said, grabbing the soap and washcloth. 

Jeonghan gave you a sheepish smile. “Oh, are you going to wash me?” he asked, his tone turning playful as you nodded at him silently, looking into his eyes. “Alright, just don’t give me those eyes, or we’ll never get this done.”

You laughed, the sound filling the bathroom. His glimmering eyes found your face, and you could see the minute his mind snapped with decision. Cupping your face in his hands, he pulled you in for a kiss full of passion and endearment. “I love you,” he mumbled, his tone so gentle that it made you think he was relieved to say it.

“I love you,” you replied, laughing softly before he pressed his lips against yours again.

“What’s that?” he asked in between pecks.

“Nothing,” you huffed as he moved to kiss your cheek. “You’re very confident now.”

He responded with a light laugh of his own. “I don’t care. I’m going to say it more,” he told you, sounding serious like a warning.

“Good,” you mumbled faintly, as he bent down to kiss your neck.

“Starting now,” he said, slipping his hands from your lower back to your rear, pressing you against his frame.

“Careful,” you replied. “You might start sounding desperate,” you teased.

You felt him smile against your skin. “Desperate, huh?” he asked, his voice low and in your ear.

“Well,” you said, tilting your head to give him more space for him to kiss, “you did just almost lose me.”

He nodded. “That put things in perspective.”

A sigh escaped your mouth when he kissed a particular sweet spot on your shoulder. “You’re going a bit overboard.”

“Mmm,” he sighed against your skin. hands squeezing your ass, but just softly, tenderly. “I love you.”

You bit back a smile. “See?”

“You’re the one who wanted me to say it.”

“I didn’t say you had to start saying it every minute,” you said, smiling despite yourself.

He pulled back, making you miss his lips on your skin instantly. “I can slow down.”

You bit your lower lip, nodding. “Please.”

But he showed you a charming half smile. “I love you.”

You laughed, trying to push his shoulder. “You’re a tease.”

A pause. The smirk wiped off his face as he exhaled softly. “And yet,” he said, his eyes glimmering with something you hadn’t seen before in him, “you’re still here.”

You watched his eyes for a moment, your pulse quickening. “That’s still under review,” you tried to joke, sounding out of breath.

If Jeonghan heard your tone, he made no comment about it; he played along. “What can I do to help my case?”

“I already told you,” you said, looking at his eyes and then his lips.

He nodded, leaning to kiss the tip of your nose. “What else?” he whispered.

You slipped your hands from his shoulders, down his torso, feeling his warm and wet skin. “Let’s go to that water park… all three of us together.”

He smiled before pressing his lips against yours. “You got it,” he replied.

Your heart shuddered. “Jeonghan?” you mumbled softly, feeling his hands all over your skin, exploring you, getting you aroused again.

“Yes?”

“Ask me to move in with you,” you said, tone falling to a mere whisper.

He pulled back, only to look into your eyes. He didn’t hesitate. “Move in with me.”

Your eyes glimmered, your whole body trembling with joy, relief, and love. You nodded. “I’ll move in with you.”

Jeonghan smiled. “Good,” he mumbled, content. “I love you.”

You groaned softly, rolling your eyes playfully. “Oh my god,” you said, loving the sound of his laughter bouncing off the walls. He leaned over, showering you with kisses again. “I love you more,” you replied shyly.

“Impossible,” he said. 

› author's note pt. 2: hi hey hello!!

so, we're are so back. and jeonghan is coming back? hannieween is writing again? hell yeah

OKAY BUT I WANT TO TAKE A MOMENT TO ADDRESS SOMETHING HERE. apparently, tumblr has moved some things so that if someone comments, likes or reblogs a post that has been previously reblogged by someone else, i won't get to see those notifs. so for example, if you're not reblogging this from my page directly, i won't get to see it 😭 so if you guys comment, like, reblog, etc, i appreciate you all so much, i might not get to see it, but i appreciate it anyway!

anyway,

toodles!

© RIGHTS RESERVED TO HANNIEWEEN I DO NOT ALLOW TRANSLATIONS, CONTINUATIONS, REIMAGINATIONS OF MY WORKS OR THEIR REPOSTING ON OTHER WEBSITES.

[nchonny]

oh MY GOD. (that's me, again).

the way this person writes is SO fucking good, i'm speechless, so much care in this work i'm disbelief i could read something as good as it. the way the author conveys emotions is beautiful, the complexity of the characters – not to mention the delicious smut lol. but really, what a masterpiece. yoon jeonghan as a dad has me on the floor.

i hope the writer has an amazing day, and their bed are always comfy.

(i liked it some days ago and i was reading slowly to savour, and now i can finally comment).

[hansolsticio]

( ✶. ) 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗮𝘁𝗲 ── “𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀 𝐄 𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐄𝐋𝐀.”

𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒐𝒑𝒔𝒆. “𝗝𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗴𝗵𝗮𝗻 insistia no acordo esquisito de te fazer sair com gente da sua 𝗶𝗱𝗮𝗱𝗲 — certo de que isso seria mais do que suficiente para te convencer de que o que você sentia por ele era 𝗽𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗮𝗴𝗲𝗶𝗿𝗼. Mas como 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗶𝗿 que funcionava, quando, noite após noite, era pro colo 𝗱𝗲𝗹𝗲 que você voltava?”

─── 𝗼𝗹𝗱𝗲𝗿! 𝘆𝗼𝗼𝗻 𝗷𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗴𝗵𝗮𝗻 × 𝗹𝗲𝗶𝘁𝗼𝗿𝗮. 𝗖𝗔𝗧𝗘𝗚✷𝗥𝗜𝗔: smut. 𝗣𝗔𝗟𝗔𝗩𝗥𝗔𝗦: 3485. 𝗔𝗩𝗜𝗦✷𝗦: hannie mais velho e gostoso, o contexto é ESSE, relacionamento não estabelecido, love-drunk reader (MUITO patética de tão apaixonada, coitada), tesão acumulado & fingering. ─── 𝗡✷𝗧𝗔𝗦: relativamente bobinho porque nem só de putária gráfica vive uma mulher.

“Por quê ele não te deixou em casa, meu bem?”, foi a primeira coisa que ele disse, sequer te cumprimentou direito. Porém você era inteligente o bastante para não entender mal a situação: não é que ele não quisesse a sua presença, somente não esperava te ver ali tão tarde.

“Não quis dar meu endereço 'pra ele.”, justificou e já empurrava Jeonghan para dentro outra vez com passos vagarosos, temendo que o homem tropeçasse em algo atrás dele — nem deu tempo para que ele trancasse a porta. Você olhou o cômodo de relance, um livro grosso descansava no apoio do sofá junto a uma xícara com resquícios de um líquido meio marrom. Selou os lábios avermelhados pelo frio: chá de canela.

“Você pegou uber sozinha uma hora dessas?”, o rosto dele se apertou numa expressão preocupada. Prestes a acolher suas bochechas entre as mãos, porém foi interrompido quando você o empurrou no sofá. “Por que não me ligou? Eu teria te buscado.”

“Fiz ele me trazer aqui. Disse que essa era minha casa.”, você sorriu sapeca, estalando a língua no céu da boca. Jeonghan não se impediu de sorrir junto, assistindo o jeito arteiro que você mascava o que parecia ser chiclete. Você se sentou no colo dele meio desengonçada, as pernas sendo apertadas pelo tecido do vestidinho que usava.

“Então se eu acordar amanhã com um moleque buzinando na minha porta, a culpa vai ser sua?”, questionou provocativo, as mãos correndo pelas suas costas num carinho lento.

“Minha não.”, você negou com a cabeça. Não resistiu à vontade de deixar mais um selinho molhado no canto dos lábios dele. “Você que começou com essa história.”, as palavras saíram meio emboladas desta vez, batalhando espaço com o chiclete dentro da sua boca. Jeonghan esticou o braço, alcançando a xícara para colocá-la rente ao seu rosto.

“Cospe.”, ordenou, vendo você obedecer sem pestanejar. Você aproveitou para se ajoelhar no estofado quando ele retornou a xícara ao seu lugar de origem, enrolou a barra do vestido até que estivesse acima das coxas — o tecido apertava, era difícil ficar confortável desse jeito. Sentou novamente e não deu para ignorar o olhar de Jeonghan no meio das suas pernas, a pele esquentou mais ainda. A testa do homem franziu brevemente, só aí foi capaz de se lembrar do conjuntinho de lingerie que havia escolhido vestir com tanto capricho.

“Pretendia ir ‘pra cama com ele?”, a pergunta veio sorrateira, Jeonghan era especialista em se mostrar contido, indiferente. E por mais que você suspirasse pelo ciúme dele, pelo egoísmo de se sentir mulher de um homem só, você sabia que as coisas não funcionavam desse jeito para vocês dois — pelo menos ainda não. Por isso não se deu o privilégio de mentir ou de provocar, admitiu logo:

“Eu sabia que viria ‘pra cá depois.”, revelou meio manhosa, enlaçando os braços em volta do pescoço do homem. Roçou a boquinha contra a dele, sentia saudades da intimidade que mantinha com Jeonghan — passar a semana inteira enfiada no mesmo setor que ele sem poder ganhar um beijinho sequer estava te castigando. “Gosto de usar ela ‘pra você.”, gemeu baixinho, colando os quadris de vocês de forma dissimulada. Só deu tempo do tecido fino da calcinha resvalar contra os shorts do homem, Jeonghan te apertou a cintura, afastando seu corpo dali outra vez.

“Eu sinto que você não ‘tá tentando de verdade.”, o suspiro insatisfeito dele te fez suspirar de volta em frustração. Já estava se cansando do jogo estúpido que ele estava te fazendo jogar — só o fato de ter aceitado ir nesse encontro já deveria ser mais que suficiente. “Tá usando de desculpa ‘pra vir me ver.”

“Não tô, Hannie…”, a voz veio num miado contrariado, de quem tenta contestar o que vocês dois sabiam ser verdade. “Dessa vez beijei ele e tudo.”, admitiu a contragosto.

“E como foi?”, soou genuinamente interessado — a excentricidade de Jeonghan era demais até para você mesma às vezes.

“Você faz muito melhor.”

“Não sei. Soa como chantagem.”, ele afiou os olhos numa expressão desconfiada, o carinho nas suas costas cessando por alguns segundos.

“O seu beijo me dá vontade de transar.”, confessou baixinho o que ele já sabia bem, os pelinhos dos braços se eriçando somente por imaginar. Era fato que a presença de Jeonghan por si só te enchia de luxúria e você comprovava isso mais uma vez com o modo como quase derretia no colo dele. Aconchegou-se num abraço apertado, deitando a cabeça no ombro do homem. “Tem que ser assim ‘pra ser bom, não tem?”, a pergunta saiu abafada.

“Não necessariamente, bebê.”, ele circulou os braços na sua cintura. O apelidinho fez algo saltar dentro do seu estômago, temia virar gelatina no colo de Jeonghan — derreter de uma vez só. Levou o aperto como deixa para enfiar o rostinho no pescoço masculino.

“Como que eu vou pensar eu outra pessoa, se-”, sussurrou devagarinho, interrompendo-se somente para deixar um selo na pele exposta. “Se só seu cheiro me faz querer dar bem gostoso.”, não havia pudor algum em admitir esse tipo de coisa e sabia que Jeonghan gostava disso em você, ainda que ficasse meio desconcertado em admitir.

“Meu cheiro?”, soou confuso, um risinho desacreditado dava pra ser ouvido na voz.

“Uhum.”, ronronou, acostumada demais em agir rendida assim na presença do homem. “A gente vai fazer bons filhos, sabia Hannie? Eu gosto do seu cheiro.”, forçou a ponta do nariz contra o pescoço dele outra vez, lambendo os lábios quando a essência do homem invadiu seu olfato. Era um aroma fraco, natural — Jeonghan detestava usar perfume dentro de casa. E você sequer se lembrava onde havia lido aquela informação, se fora em algum site com artigos duvidosos ou um tweet estranho que cruzou sua timeline, não se recordava. Naquele momento só tinha certeza que fazia sentido, por ser Jeonghan tudo fazia sentido.

“O que você bebeu? Tá falando tanta besteira.”, o torso dele balançou num riso contido. Você ergueu o rosto, voltando a encará-lo finalmente.

“Eu não bebi.”, deu de ombros.

“Por quê não? Vocês saíram ‘pra isso.”, ele franziu a testa. Roubou um selo curto da sua boca, mas foi o bastante para te roubar o foco também. Custou a respondê-lo, tentando ganhar mais um — em vão.

“Me estressei quando ele mencionou a ex dele, fiquei sem saco ‘pra bebida.”, os olhos reviraram quase que involuntariamente ao lembrar, recordava-se bem que por pouco não deixou ele sentado na mesa falando sozinho.

“Ex?”, ele franziu a testa numa expressão de descrença que você não demorou a imitar.

“Alguma coisa sobre ela ser louca ou sei lá. Nem ouvi, quero é que se foda.”, resmungou com desdém, realmente não queria pensar no assunto. Tentou tomar os lábios de Jeonghan em outro beijo, só que o homem custou a retribuir dessa vez — parecia pensativo. “Me beija mais.”

“Não é possível que essas sejam as opções que você tem, bebê. Qual o problema da sua geração?”, a maneira como ele soava quase irritado com a situação chegava a ser cômica, porém você não se deu a liberdade de rir. “Falando de ex no primeiro encontro?!”

“Pra você ver.”

“Talvez você deva procurar em lugares diferentes.”, e essa conclusão veio após bons segundos em silêncio, o que significava que ele realmente considerava essa ideia coerente.

Só que, Deus… você já estava tão cansada dessa história.

“Não quero procurar nada.”, reclamou, estalando a língua no céu da boca. “Só você sabe cuidar de mim.”, a voz pingava dengo puro, sentia seu autocontrole definhando com cada tentativa dele de te afastar — de tentar provar para si mesmo que não era isso que ele também queria. Forçou o quadril contra o dele de forma mais ousada dessa vez, cansada de fingir que não era naquilo que estava pensando desde o segundo em que colocou os pés na casa de Jeonghan.

“Assim não.”, repreendeu firme. O aperto que deixou nas suas coxas causou efeito reverso, sentiu ainda mais vontade do toque dele. “A gente já conversou.”, soltou ar entre os dentes, contrariado.

“E eu já falei que quero você.”, detestava o quão cabeça-dura ele sabia ser e detestava duas vezes mais o fato de você ser tão teimosa quanto ele. “Fode comigo de uma vez.”, o pedido era limpo, direto. Já estava presa nessa dança com Jeonghan por tempo o suficiente. “Eu ‘tô te obedecendo, não tô? Já fui no seu encontro ridículo.”, talvez a frustração tenha o comovido a certo ponto. Jeonghan suspirou, colocando a cabeça no lugar — orgulhava-se tanto em sustentar o título de pessoa madura da situação e teria que fazer jus à isso. “Eu mereço você agora.”

“Não estamos fazendo isso com essa intenção, meu bem.”, apertou uma das têmporas. “Eu não sou um prêmio.”, o tom agora era paternal — Jeonghan tinha essa mania, muitas vezes falava como se você própria não tivesse noção de coisa alguma.

“Mas é o que eu quero.”, bateu o pé mais uma vez, irredutível. “Não consigo esperar mais”, arrastou o nariz pela bochecha dele. Era infinitamente carente por esse homem teimoso, que insistia em tentar te convencer do contrário. Te corroía por dentro, te castigava e, ainda assim, te fazia desejar mais. “Eu não quero mais gozar sozinha…”, murmurou suave. Nem isso conseguia mais guardar para si mesma, Jeonghan acabava com todas as suas amarras. E o suspiro rendido que sucedeu do seu monólogo te fez perceber imediatamente que você estava cada vez mais perto de acabar com todas as dele também.

“A nossa conversa não acabou aqui, ouviu?”, apoiou a testa na sua, os ombros relaxando por tabela. O sorriso que cresceu na sua boca quase fez suas bochechas doerem. Era complicado conter a excitação ou a forma como seu estômago revirava em pura ansiedade.

“Sim, senhor.”, respondeu arteira, o apelido era puro gracejo. Havia algo quase vergonhoso na facilidade com a qual você se rendeu, as pernas se abrindo mais num movimento só. Jeonghan deixou um riso anasalado escapar, você sempre entretinha ele demais.

“Vou só te dar um carinho.”, os olhos fixos nos seus, determinando um acordo que você não tinha a permissão de romper. Dedilhou seu corpo com destreza, desde o seu maxilar até as suas coxas, beijando com os dedos cada pedacinho de pele que encontrava exposto. Você insinuava o quadril na direção do corpo dele guiada por puro reflexo, ardendo em vontade de ser tocada num ponto específico.

Ele correu as pontas dos dedos pelo tecido sem hesitação, experiente — como se já houvesse te tocado ali dezenas de vezes. O polegar foi arrastado pelos lábios cobertos, achando seu clitóris num roçar vagaroso. A renda trazia uma ardência gostosa entre as suas pernas com cada círculo apertadinho que ele desenhava no meio delas. Você deixava entorpecer com qualquer mínimo indício de prazer, por menor que fosse. Era sua fantasia ali, finalmente ele, consumindo tudo aquilo que você se imaginou dando tantas e tantas vezes.

Chega a ser irritante repetir: mas é fácil. Tudo com ele é fácil. Fantasiar com Jeonghan era a coisa mais natural que você conseguia fazer, implorar por ele era fácil, escorrer por ele era fácil… Não havia abertura nem mesmo para sentir vergonha do modo como tecido já estava basicamente transparente de tão arruinado. E Jeonghan não se fez rogado, afastou sua calcinha de lado para te tocar diretamente. A expressão tão firme quanto no início, não viu necessidade em fingir a mínima surpresa ao encontrar sua bucetinha babando, quase gotejando no colo dele. Ele fez pressão no pontinho sensível, o bastante para fazer seu corpo retesar.

“Tá tudo bem?”, compostura simulada dessa vez — até certo ponto, Jeonghan ainda se pegava meio surpreso com tudo que era capaz de fazer você sentir. Você acenou com a cabeça, respirando fundo. “Você precisa falar.”, o polegar da outra mão acariciou sua bochecha.

“Sim…”

“Era disso que você precisava?”, fez mais pressão, era óbvio que não queria mesmo uma resposta. O indicador entrou devagar na entradinha babujada, recolhendo parte do líquido só para arrastá-lo para o lado de fora. “O pirralho que saiu contigo não conseguiu te deixar assim, bebê?”, pergunta retórica. Ele iniciou um vai-e-vem ritmado, não demorando em conseguir encaixar mais um dedo. “Falando, meu bem. Você tem que falar.”, provocou, era mais um teste a sua capacidade de resposta. Jeonghan passou a esfregar também o seu grelinho junto às estocadas, sua boquinha se abriu num arfar — definitivamente não era mais capaz de falar coisa alguma. O prazer se acumulava em ondas no seu estômago, tornando o seu corpo quente demais para você mesma suportar.

Prendeu o pulso do homem dentro das próprias coxas. Não sabe como, mas em algum momento começou a quicar nos dedos que te preenchiam. Ele pareceu surpreso de início, só que era óbvio que gostava — tanto que se esforçou em manter a mão parada. Você rebolava gostoso, fazia os dígitos entrarem até a base, roçando o grelinho na palma da mão dele quando conseguia colocá-los bem fundo. Era patético, estava doente de tesão por causa de dois dedinhos que sequer estavam se mexendo. E pensava que Jeonghan merecia a culpa por isso. Por te fazer pensar que era ele ali, bem fundo, pronto 'pra te encher de porra.

“Hannie- Isso! Jeonghan…”, saiu num gritinho incontido. Os movimentos se tornaram mais erráticos, mais desesperados. Apertava os cabelos dele entre os dedos, pressionando os corpos de vocês dois como se a proximidade fosse cada vez mais insuficiente para te satisfazer — queria consumir Jeonghan por inteiro, tê-lo dentro de você. Os dedos torciam-se em vontade de correr as unhas pelo pescoço dele, porém ainda tinha a mente clara o suficiente para saber que a gola da camisa social que ele tanto gostava de usar não seria capaz de cobrir as marcas na segunda-feira de manhã. Mudou o foco. As mãos agarrando os próprios peitos num aperto desmedido, sentia os biquinhos formigando contra o tecido do seu sutiã, queria o toque de Jeonghan ali — só que sabia que era pedir demais e que provavelmente levaria uma bronca por ser tão apressada, por querer tudo de uma vez.

E a bronca veio.

“Devagar, devagar.”, alertou, tentando conter o riso. Não queria te deixar amuada, porém achava uma graça seu jeitinho desesperado. “Fica calma, bebê. Não é meu pau. Senta devagar.”, apertou seu quadril num segundo alerta, fazendo sua cintura se acalmar. Foi ligeiro em perceber sua expressão acanhada, você era um livro aberto. “Vai te machucar, meu amor.”, justificou, o tom agora era mais manso. Selou sua bochecha na tentativa de compensar e certificou-se de curvar os dedos um pouquinho também, se desculpando com a sua bucetinha. “Só por isso.”, correu os lábios pela sua pele até alcançar sua boca. Lambeu dentro da cavidade, deixando você se distrair dentro do ósculo safado, brincar como bem quisesse — até tolerou sua mania de mordê-lo um pouco mais que o normal.

Um gemidinho trêmulo saiu da sua garganta, fez os lábios de vocês dois vibrarem. Jeonghan não era imune ao próprio tesão, por mais que tivesse uma habilidade maior em se controlar. O aperto dele se tornou mais vigoroso em volta do seu corpo, de repente se viu completamente pressionada a ele. Pele com pele, os quadris juntinhos como se fossem feitos para estar assim, o volume encaixadinho no meio da sua bunda… droga, jura que quase teve um orgasmo de tanto tesão que sentiu.

“Eu quero você.”, arfou manhosa, sequer tinha mais forças para continuar se movendo. Rendeu-se, deixando Jeonghan ditar seu prazer como bem quisesse a partir dali. Ele mantinha-se vagaroso, não tinha urgência em apressar o que já havia conquistado — você já se apertava demais, se molhava demais.

“Eu ‘tô aqui.”, havia malícia no modo como contestou, ele sabia o que você queria dizer. Retirava os dígitos aos pouquinhos, deixando somente as pontas dentro de você, só para colocá-los de uma vez só.

“Não…”, negou num gemido sem força, o ventre se apertava, sabia o que estava por vir. “Não é assim…”

“É porque você quer que eu seja seu? É por isso, bebê?”, murmurou fraquinho dentro da sua boca. Não sabe se foi o sorrisinho sacana, ou os dedos fundos dentro de você ou a palma estimulando seu pontinho devagar… mas tudo se tornou demais de repente. Forçou as unhas no estofado atrás do corpo do homem numa força desmedida, o abdômen se apertando inteiro enquanto a entradinha pulsava em volta dele. Um "eu te amo" queimando teimoso na garganta, insistindo para ser liberado junto aos gemidinhos patéticos que você mal conseguia segurar.

“Hannie…”, balbuciou, o orgasmo se esvaindo lentamente. Mesmo desorientada conseguiu senti-lo erguer os quadris outra vez, forçando a ereção contra sua pele num esfregar carente. Foi inevitável apertar a bucetinha mais um pouquinho imaginando aquilo dentro de você.

“Eu sei, bebê. Eu sei.”, ele mordeu boca num sorriso safado, logo apertando os olhos como se quisesse espantar um pensamento ruim da cabeça. Te afastou com muito pesar, um suspiro dolorido deixando os lábios assim que te fez sentar nas coxas dele outra vez.

Você respirava pesado, a pele derramando suor numa facilidade assustadora. Não sabia o que fazer consigo mesma sob o olhar de Jeonghan e não compreendia até que ponto isso era só coisa da sua cabeça. Sorria estúpida, numa manha pós-orgasmo que te fazia jurar estar ainda mais apaixonada. Ele te deu tempo para processar — entendia que você precisava disso — te observava meio fascinado, um sorriso de canto pintando a boca.

“Vem aqui, vem.”, o timbre soando sedutor por alguma razão, atribuía ao jeitinho gostoso que Jeonghan encontrava de gemer entre as palavras. A língua encontrou a sua no meio de um beijo experiente, de quem já te leu o bastante para saber como te fazer suspirar. Se afastava, deixava fiozinhos soltos de saliva unindo as bocas de vocês, deleitava-se em assistir o modo como você sempre buscava por mais e, enfim, te largava num sorriso safado.

Porra, o “eu te amo” ia acabar saindo em algum momento e você definitivamente não seria capaz de impedir.

“Vou ver se tenho algo que te serve no guarda-roupa.”, alinhou os fios desgrenhados do seu cabelo. Hesitou meio segundo em falar a próxima parte, selando sua testa como consolo antecipado. “Daí você toma um banho e eu te levo em casa, tudo bem?”, a fala mansinha não foi capaz de impedir o jeito que sua expressão se tornou tristonha.

“Minha casa?”

“Sua.”, disse num sorriso arteiro, já esperava essa reação. Seu biquinho cresceu com a confirmação. “Quer dormir na minha cama então? Eu fico aqui no sofá.”, mudou a proposta, atuando uma sinceridade fingia que desconhecia suas reais intenções.

“Jeonghan…”, a feição mudou, de triste para entediada.

“Você está sendo muito ingrata, meu bem. Tô disposto a acabar com as minhas costas só 'pra te deixar feliz.”

“Vou ficar feliz dormindo com você.”, arrematou, cansando-se do jogo de fingimento.

“A gente prometeu que ia devagar, lembra?”

“E você acabou de me foder… acho que a promessa não vale mais.”, touché. Era um movimento esperado da única pessoa que parecia ainda ter consciência do fato de que os dedos de Jeonghan não saíram de dentro de você em nenhum momento da conversa — já que ele não fez a mínima questão de retirá-los dali nem quando você o relembrou do fato.

“Vou te levar em casa. Lembrei que não tenho mais analgésico.”, retrocedeu a proposta anterior, como o estraga prazeres que gostava de ser. Na verdade, só não era muito fã de ser provocado — o que era pura hipocrisia, dado o tanto que ele te provocava.

“Você é um chato.”, bufou, cruzando os braços numa birra exagerada.

“E você uma abusada.”, o tom permaneceu indiferente, ainda que o sorriso que ele mordia dentro da boca fosse muito perceptível.

“Não quero mais falar com você.”, bicuda, você resolveu insistir nessa dinâmica super madura — talvez na esperança de ganhar a compaixão dele se fizesse gracinha o suficiente.

No entanto, Jeonghan conseguia ser habilidoso demais quando o assunto era te fazer dar de cara na porta. O sorrisinho desgraçado finalmente dando as caras assim que você soltou um muxoxo desgostoso quando ele tentou tirar os dedos de dentro do canalzinho apertado. Você agarrou o pulso do homem num movimento quase involuntário. Ele riu baixinho, acariciando suas costas para tentar te distrair da aflição quando puxou os dedos devagarinho outra vez — quase não conseguiu sair, sua bucetinha ainda se apertava inteira, sugando ele para dentro.

“Hannie…”

“Pensei que não quisesse falar comigo.”

“Eu-”, foi interrompida pelo som da notificação do seu telefone, soou abafado e você sequer se lembrava de onde havia o colocado quando entrou. Estranhou receber mensagem tão tarde, não havia ninguém — além do próprio Jeonghan — que te contataria nesse horário.

Quer dizer, havia sim um certo alguém:

“Deve ser seu futuro namorado.”, ele soltou num riso anasalado, uma expressão de sarcasmo no rosto — beirava ciúmes, mas você não queria se deixar sonhar tanto assim. “Deixa eu avisar que você chegou bem em casa.”

[nchonny]

i'm never recovering... i hope the author has the best things in their life, this is so so fucking good. first time in years i don't read on my native language, and i'm presented with this masterpiece? hell yeah.

[hansolsticio]

( ✶. ) 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗶𝗰𝗸𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 ── “𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐅𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑.”

𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒐𝒑𝒔𝒆. “Havia algo muito excitante em te ver tão vulnerável, tão frágil — algo que lhe 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗶𝗮 o coração por te ver tão 𝗱𝗲𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗮𝗱𝗮 e que fazia o pau babar na calça por você querer tanto que ele tirasse 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗶𝘁𝗼 de você nesse estado.”

─── 𝗯𝗼𝘆𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱! 𝘆𝗼𝗼𝗻 𝗷𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗴𝗵𝗮𝗻 × 𝗹𝗲𝗶𝘁𝗼𝗿𝗮. 𝗖𝗔𝗧𝗘𝗚✷𝗥𝗜𝗔: smut. 𝗣𝗔𝗟𝗔𝗩𝗥𝗔𝗦: 4893. 𝗔𝗩𝗜𝗦✷𝗦: dry humping, a leitora tá doentinha, relacionamento açucarado, mini manipulações um com o outro por esporte, não é nada revolucionário (bem doméstico) & "bebê". ─── 𝗡✷𝗧𝗔𝗦: eu juro que essa minha fase de obcecada vai passar, confiem em mim.

“Por que você não toma banho comigo?”, havia desagrado no seu jeito de falar, talvez nem quisesse ele junto com você — apenas detestava o contraste de ter sido arrastada da sua cama quentinha para um chuveiro tão frio. Descartava até mesmo as boas intenções do homem que só queria te livrar da febre que parecia ter se agravado durante a noite.

“Já tomei mais cedo, bebê.”, explicou, a feição preocupada assistia o tremular do seu corpo.

“Tá gelado, Hannie.”, reclamou o que vocês dois já sabiam, tentando se desvencilhar das mãos dele nos seus ombros para sair um pouco da água. Jeonghan não permitiu, esticando um sorriso nos lábios como quem profere um “eu sei” consolador.

“É ‘pra ajudar com a febre, amor. Só mais um pouco.“, parecia ser hábito entre vocês dois dizer e redizer coisas que não precisavam ser ditas, coisas que já entendiam — o modo de expressar amor favorito talvez fosse palavras de conforto, mesmo as mais dispensáveis.

“Eu tô com frio.”, deixou um miadinho incômodo sair da garganta, a água gelada parecia machucar sua pele, tremia por dentro. “Me abraça?”

“Assim que você sair, amor. Tá quase acabando.”, te segurou debaixo do chuveiro um pouco mais, acolhendo cada reclamação dengosa com um sorrisinho.

Mesmo que tenha parecido uma eternidade, seus minutos de sofrimento acabaram, mas os de Jeonghan não. Especialmente quando você percebeu que o abraço prometido não veio de imediato e não viria até que ele conseguisse terminar de te secar com a toalha.

“Frio, Hannie…”, repetiu, dessa vez sabendo que a informação não era novidade alguma. Só queria receber a atenção do homem que parecia concentrado demais em enxugar sua pele. E Jeonghan te deu, sempre daria:

“Quer sentar um pouquinho?”, ofereceu caridoso, envolvendo seus ombros com o tecido macio. Ver você tremer tanto fazia-o sentir certa pena de ter te levado pro chuveiro. Jeonghan ergueu seu corpo para te colocar sentada ao lado da pia, forrando a superfície com o tecido da toalha para não deixar que o mármore frígido te fizesse reclamar mais ainda.

Livre das amarras da tortura — sinônimo para “banho gelado“ — você finalmente se deu a oportunidade de encarar Jeonghan propriamente. Até o momento não lembrava-se de estar sentindo falta dele, entretanto a clareza que o corpo quente próximo ao seu te oferecia fez você se lembrar do sentimento. Tinha-o visto na manhã do dia anterior, porém o modo como a enfermidade te apagou em cima da cama em algum momento também foi responsável por apagar a memória de tê-lo visto durante a semana.

Engraçado que só não demoraram mais a se ver porque Jeonghan sabia que você era teimosa, que tinha a tendência de amenizar as coisas. E, principalmente, que o seu silêncio durante tantas horas depois de ter alegado estar só com uma “gripezinha” era sinal de que você precisava dele o mais rápido possível — por isso não se poupou de usar a própria cópia da chave para aparecer no seu quarto logo de manhã.

“Dá beijo?”, seu sussurro saiu meio atrapalhado, era difícil proferir algo decente enquanto ele escovava seus dentes e sabe-se lá porque achou que pedir um beijo agora seria conveniente. Porém Jeonghan realmente ponderou, não queria receber mais um sermão como o que havia ganhado por te negar um abraço e por isso afastou a escova da sua boca, deixando um estalinho no canto dos seus lábios. “Um de verdade.”, sua teimosia nem fazia sentido às vezes.

“Mas eu dei.”, ele deu de ombros e a escova voltou para os seus lábios mesmo que neles houvesse um bico contrariado. A rotina seguiu como ele já havia feito em outros momentos, te dando somente o trabalho de cuspir o excesso de água na pia no final. Alguns chamariam de insistência, seu namorado chamaria de teimosia, porém você chamava de necessidade o jeito com o qual enlaçou o quadril dele com as pernas — ainda estava disposta a ganhar aquele beijo.

O rostinho carente foi ignorado o quanto a resistência dele deixou ser possível, agora fingindo estar ocupado demais em tirar o excesso de água do seu cabelo. A expressão de quem te lia como um livro aberto só te deixou mais afobada, ele não conseguia esconder bem o sorriso. Talvez fruto da afobação, afastou o rosto para tossir baixinho, o xarope que havia tomado no dia anterior já começava a perder força. Jeonghan acariciou suas costas, te estimulando a respirar devagar.

“Bebê-”

“Me beija, por favor.”, pediu outra vez, pouco se importava com o que ele tinha para falar. Esticou-se, alcançando os lábios dele para conseguir roçar os seus ali, só que Jeonghan virou o rosto e para o seu discernimento aquilo foi o mesmo que te insultar de algo muito feio — o carinho dele era seu por direito, mesmo se estivesse moribunda. “Você ‘tá com nojo de mim.”, lamentou-se e não havia sido uma pergunta.

“Não é isso, bebê.”, ele abrandou a voz, acolhendo suas bochechas com as mãos mesmo que agora você se recusasse a olhá-lo diretamente. “E se eu adoecer também, hm?”, inclinou o rosto, tentando invadir seu campo de visão.

“Você não me ama mais.”, um beiço enorme enfeitando a boca. Jeonghan sabia que não tinha a permissão de rir dessa vez. Não, não... em hipótese alguma!

“Eu nunca disse isso, amor.”, a voz vacilou em passos curtos, te rodeando sorrateiro, como um gatinho. “É claro que te amo, bebê.”, selou o cantinho da sua orelha, aproveitando que você ainda se recusava a virar o rosto. “Por isso que eu preciso ficar saudável. Senão quem vai cuidar de você?”, os lábios repousaram na sua bochecha num beijo demorado, Jeonghan tinha a pele gelada... ou você estava quente demais? Não sabe.

E ele não esperou que você concordasse ou dissesse que ele tinha razão, conhecia bem a mulher dele. Conhecia tanto que te acolheu num abraço apertado por saber que não iria encontrar rejeição. Curvou o corpo, os antebraços envolveram suas costas, a toalha escorregou e já descansava por completo no mármore. Você delegou a ele a tarefa de te oferecer calor sem hesitar, os braços envolvidos em volta dos ombros do homem deram um pouquinho de espaço para que você apoiasse sua cabeça ali também. Se deixou ser confortada, descansar um pouco mais. O torso nu completamente colado no dele movendo-se a cada suspirar mais fundo.

“Preciso do seu carinho.”, murmurou, a pele esquentava novamente — talvez o banho não houvesse sido suficiente para dar conta da febre. “Tô com saudades.”, o que para você era uma confissão simples, era muito mais que isso para Jeonghan. Ele sabia o que aquele tom significava antes mesmo de você própria ter certeza, já havia rezado essa mesma oração contigo vezes demais. “Você tá tão bonito.”, pura manha, suas pernas ficaram inquietas na bancada.

“Você precisa descansar.”, ele desconversou, tentando ignorar o jeito como seu aperto ficou mais forte — ou tentou pelo menos, seu corpo estava mais maleável que o normal e isso era mau sinal. Jeonghan achava engraçado o modo como as coisas mudaram de tom tão rápido, se questionava se fazia parte dos sintomas.

“Quero fazer amorzinho, Hannie.”, soou sonolenta, meio grogue. O susto que o banho te deu parecia perder o efeito. “Só um pouquinho.”, amenizou o pedido, na tentativa de fazê-lo aceitar.

“A febre tá cozinhando seu cérebro, tá vendo?”, riu contido, não encontrando dificuldade em se desvencilhar do seu abraço — quer dizer, o som dengoso que saiu da sua garganta não poderia ser considerado exatamente uma dificuldade. “Vem. Vou te vestir no quarto.“, era mero aviso, não esperou que você tomasse a iniciativa de se mover e ergueu suas coxas por baixo, te carregando até o cômodo. “Ainda tá com dor de cabeça?”, mudou o foco da conversa, esperando encerrar o assunto por ali.

“Um pouco.”, seus braços balançavam ao lado do corpo, havia fechado os olhos para que o movimento não te causasse tontura.

“Vou te dar aquele remédio. Funcionou da última vez.”, acariciou suas costas brevemente antes de te deitar na cama de barriga para cima, o cuidado de quem manejava um objeto frágil.

“Tem gosto ruim.”, sua careta de desgosto fez ele sorrir em adoração.

“Dou junto com a sopinha, amor.”, ele acariciou sua coxa, puxando a toalha debaixo do seu corpo para que ela não deixasse o colchão úmido e te cobriu com ela para garantir que sua pele não esfriasse de vez. “Você nem vai sentir o gosto.”

“Vou sim.“, protestou.

“Mentirosa.”, ele apertou os olhos, deitando-se ao seu lado para deixar um selar breve na sua boca. No entanto, é claro, você não deixou que fosse só isso. Aproveitou-se dos segundos de pouca memória do homem para beijá-lo como bem queria. Sentia fome quando era Jeonghan, tudo dele ainda era pouco. Não foi tão longe quanto gostaria, no entanto, ele não era bobo. Ironicamente, não demorou para que o ar gelado do quarto beijasse sua derme — assim como ele deveria estar fazendo se não fosse tão chato — e você sabia que precisava se vestir logo, só que sua pele já reclamava a falta de outra coisa:

“Passa creme em mim, Hannie?”, miou fraquinho, mesmo meio balançada pela gripe sabia bem como o pedido soou. Jeonghan não te deu o prazer de uma reação, entretanto, ainda te encarando em completo silêncio. “Eu não consigo sozinha.”, acrescentou à justificativa, se parecesse um tantinho mais inocente talvez ele se esquecesse do pedido feito no banheiro minutos atrás.

“Bebê, você é sonsa, mas eu sou muito mais.”, ele passou a língua entre os lábios, crispando-os num sorriso presunçoso.

“Você sabe que minha pele fica ressecada.”, você franziu as sobrancelhas, era dificultoso não soar mal intencionada. A partir daqui, Jeonghan fez questão de compartilhar um olhar desconfortavelmente desconfiado por bons segundos até ceder enfim — como vocês dois sabiam que ele faria.

“É ‘pra ficar quietinha, entendeu?”, foi a última coisa que o homem disse antes de, sob uma relutância muito mal fingida, ir buscar seu hidratante favorito na penteadeira. A toalha logo foi enrolada até o seu quadril, deixando seu busto exposto. Jeonghan colocou um pouco do produto nas palmas das mãos. Você arrepiava em tensão — e sabe-se lá porquê, ficar nua para ele já havia virado rotina faz muito tempo. Ele passou uma das pernas por cima do seu quadril para ajoelhar no colchão, o corpo suspenso acima do seu, por pouco não se tocavam.

Espalhou o hidratante na sua clavícula, descendo pelo vão dos seus seios até a sua cintura, o suficiente para te fazer arrepiar. Era nítido que ignorava propositalmente o lugar onde sabia que você queria ser tocada — e sabia porque o seu jeito nada súbito de erguer-se para insinuar seus peitinhos para ele era muito perceptível. Logo fez caminho reverso com as mãos, ignorando-os outra vez e levando as palmas até os seus ombros. Dessa vez você não foi capaz de se fazer rogada, soltou um muxoxo aborrecido que fez o homem rir baixinho.

“Só tô passando o creme, pervertida.”, ironizou, talvez já esperasse essa reação — talvez estivesse propositalmente buscando por ela. Porém Jeonghan não pensava sempre, era raro, mas, por vezes, esquecia-se de usar o cérebro e muito provavelmente esqueceu-se de raciocinar quando o movimento seguinte foi envolver seu pescoço entre as próprias mãos. A intenção era obviamente espalhar o produto até ali, mas o jeito que os dedos encaixaram certinho em volta da sua traqueia fez vocês dois se encararem de imediato. “Não me olha assim.”, ele sussurrou, mas o tom de brincadeira tremulou meio desajeitado.

Retirou as mãos dali e repetiu o mesmo movimento de correr o toque até a sua cintura, apertando-a entre os dedos como se já fosse instinto. Após tanto evitar, foi gentil na forma como acolheu seus seios com as mãos, espalhando o pouco que havia do creme sob a pele macia. Os polegares circulavam os biquinhos para não deixar nenhum ponto intocado, oferecia adoração ao seu corpo até nos pequenos gestos. Você optou por deixar o suspiro preso na garganta — há muito já não era capaz de respirar direito —, não queria afastá-lo por acidente. Por bons segundos Jeonghan brincou ali meio avoado e, mesmo conhecendo tão bem a personalidade do homem, para você era claro que não fazia para provocar ou te excitar. Fazia por saber que você gostava, porque te fazia bem.

No entanto, a intenção alheia nem sempre condizia com a reação do outro: a excitação vinha aos pouquinhos, estava ali desde o início.

Ele custou um pouco a largar, seu corpo quase derretendo na cama era satisfatório de assistir, porém demorar-se não era uma opção — precisava te vestir logo. Quando o toque desceu outra vez, a hesitação no rosto dele foi cristalina. Você não se deu ao trabalho de abrir a boca, queria permanecer sorrateira e a vozinha sonsa entregaria suas vontades se resolvesse falar algo. Ele empurrou o tecido somente o suficiente para deixar parte das suas coxas expostas e resolveu não tomar o caminho mais complicado — sua intimidade permaneceu coberta. Era hilário, para dizer o mínimo.

Despejou mais do produto entre as mãos. Você finalmente foi capaz de notar que há muito tempo nenhum dos dois falava alguma coisa. E o silêncio nunca foi um problema entre vocês dois, porém, se Jeonghan estava tão empenhado em pagar de bom moço por hoje, seria melhor que ele não deixasse sua imaginação trabalhar sem limite — a “oficina do diabo”, como ele gostava de chamar. As pontas dos dedos correram pela parte interna da sua coxa num movimento vagaroso.

Porra, tinha que ser de propósito. Se Jeonghan não te quisesse completamente fraca, não faria dessa forma, não te torturaria assim.

Pressionou os dedos ali por meio segundo, correndo as mãos até seus joelhos no momento em que você se atreveu a ameaçar suspirar. Seguiu com a massagem, dedilhando e apalpando suas pernas até que tudo estivesse viçoso. Ao fim do procedimento sua cabeça já estava quente, tanto que era até desconfortável permanecer apoiada nos lençóis.

“Hannie…”, arfou e o que viria depois certamente seria um pedido por clemência. Não sabe se queria mais do toque ou se simplesmente já estava no limite.

“Tô quase terminando.”, espalhava o pouco que sobrou do produto nos seus tornozelos. “Vou pegar a sopa que eu trouxe ‘pra você.”, esquivou-se do assunto mais uma vez, limpando o que sobrou nas palmas das mãos na borda da toalha. “Consegue se vestir sozinha?”, pergunta retórica e você sequer sabe como conseguiu negar com a cabeça. “Claro que não…”, levantou-se sorrindo, indo ao guarda-roupas. “Vai ser pijama, você não vai sair da cama mesmo.”, ele retornou com um conjuntinho de dormir numa das mãos e uma das suas calcinhas na outra — você admitia que estava admirada com o fato dele ter escolhido uma confortável, sinal que te conhecia bem demais. Porém nada foi dito, seu silêncio tinha nome.

Ele colocou as peças ao lado do seu corpo na cama, se certificou com o olhar antes de puxar a toalha devagarinho para te deixar totalmente despida outra vez. Era nítido que esforçava-se para não fazer alarde da situação, mesmo com o seu modo de agir, porém algo impediu a tentativa... algo que você já previa e sentia muito bem:

“Vou ter que te dar outro banho.”, disse de imediato e o timbre dele se tornou baixo, pareceu ter falado mais para si mesmo que com a intenção de ser ouvido. E você poderia ter fechado as pernas completamente, adiado a descoberta. Porém sabia o que queria, não iria se obrigar a reprimir o calor do seu corpo sem pedir mais uma vez que o causador dele fizesse algo.

“Desculpa…”, insincera, abriu mais as coxas. Queria mostrá-lo cada gotinha de vontade que escorria para fora de você.

Ele ponderou de forma séria pela primeira vez desde que chegou ali, antes realmente não havia intenção, não havia vontade. No entanto, não era capaz de se fazer ignorar por tanto tempo. Se mesmo fraca como estava você ainda era capaz de montar o teatrinho que vocês tanto gostavam, era sinal que não deveria te ignorar.

Jeonghan queria brincar de faz de conta consigo mesmo, preservar a própria reputação para as vozes da cabeça dele, porém não conseguia. Havia algo muito excitante em te ver tão vulnerável, tão frágil — algo que lhe partia o coração por te ver tão debilitada e que fazia o pau babar na calça por você querer tanto que ele tirasse proveito de você nesse estado.

Não se conteve nenhum segundo a mais. Entrou no seu jogo:

“_____, desse jeito fica complicado cuidar de você.”, um suspiro frustrado cortou a tensão do ambiente, você encolheu-se, quis se esconder. “Eu tô tentando.”

“Não é culpa minha.”, tentou se justificar, mesmo que em vão. “Desculpa, Hannie.”, apertou as perninhas enfim, tendo que morder o interior da bochecha para dispersar o sonzinho que produziu por conta da pressão. O homem não se fez rogado, forçou a abertura das suas pernas outra vez, olhando para o buraquinho arruinado sem pudor algum.

“Porra, você se melou toda.”

“Eu não queria…”, choramingou fraquinho.

“Queria sim.”, refutou, o tom sério praticamente obrigou você a se encolher inteira no colchão. O homem suspirou mais uma vez, parecendo moldar a maneira de falar na própria mente. “Sei que você ‘tá doente, bebê.”, pareceu mais gentil. “Mas você ‘tá fazendo de propósito, não tô lidando com criança.”, curiosamente, seu rosto se fechou numa teimosia quase infantil ao fim da fala dele. “Não é ‘pra fazer essa cara, amor.”, ele soltou o ar devagar, já com certa impaciência. “Não tô te dando bronca.”

“Você ‘tá brigando comigo.”

“Não. Não é isso.”, por pouco não revirou os olhos. “Vem aqui.”, te puxou para o colo dele. Lobo em pele de cordeiro, fez os corpos se encaixarem de um jeito completamente descarado. A ereção coladinha na sua bunda te fez querer mandar o teatrinho pro inferno. “Você precisa entender que assim não dá, meu amor.”, nunca encontrava dificuldade em soar doce, acalentador. “E se você acabar piorando? Hm?”

“Eu não vou piorar, eu prometo.”, miou cada palavrinha e era tão forçado o seu nível de atuação para parecer inocente que Jeonghan quase ria.

“Não dá ‘pra ter certeza disso.”, deu corda pro seu draminha, o olhar correndo pelos seus peitos por meio segundo.

“A gente faz devagarinho.”

“Você tá toda mole, não vai aguentar.”, apesar da encenação, parte daquilo não era mentira — no fundo da mente de Jeonghan ainda havia preocupação com o quão fraco seu corpo se mostrava.

“Eu vou chorar mais se você não me foder, sabia?.”, dessa vez foi você quem quis rir, te custou se enfiar na curva do pescoço dele para esconder o sorriso cínico. “Daí meu corpo vai ficar mais fraquinho e vai ser culpa sua.”, parte da frase soou abafada, sendo murmurada contra a pele dele.

“Isso é chantagem, bebê.”

“Você que me ensinou.”, e contra isso ele não poderia argumentar. Era nítido que você já tinha o “sim” nas suas mãos, precisava de pouco para se enfiar nas roupas do homem. Lambeu o local onde o ombro e o pescoço se encontravam, abrindo a boquinha para sorver a pele entre os dentes.

“Você não aguenta.”, insistência inútil. As mãos do homem, que antes só sustentavam suas costas para não te deixar cair, passaram a afagar sua pele.

“Por favor…”, mordiscou o maxilar dele. “Me faz carinho, Hannie…”, suplicou baixinho, selando a pele atrás da orelha dele logo em seguida. Não conseguia ficar quieta, se contorcia devagar, esfregando o próprio corpo contra o dele. Selou a boca do namorado, se afastando devagarinho por saber que meio segundo depois ele faria questão de te abocanhar para um beijinho gostoso. Sorviam os lábios um do outro, suspirando entre os estalinhos molhados — a razão pela qual ele não queria te beijar inicialmente há muito já havia sido esquecida, descansava no fundo da memória de Jeonghan.

Uma das mãos do homem serpenteou entre os corpos de vocês, as pontas dos dedos alcançando as dobrinhas da sua bucetinha sem hesitação. Esfregou-os ali, lambuzando-se do melzinho abundante e a sua necessidade em beijá-lo não te permitiu perceber, mas o homem franziu o rosto numa expressão confusa, de quem nota algo fora do comum.

“Você tá quente...”, entre um beijinho e outro, ele encontrou espaço para falar. Jeonghan esfregou seu grelinho com o polegar antes de te penetrar com a pontinha do dedo do meio. Seja lá o que sentiu, fez ele arfar baixinho, a língua brincando mais safada dentro da sua boca. “Porra, bebê, quero tanto colocar meu pau aqui.”, a confissão ardeu em forma de sussurro, Sua cintura se mexeu desconfortável, era incômodo não poder dar tudo de si para o homem. Jeonghan forçou mais um pouco, alargando a entradinha em volta do dedo médio. “Nunca te senti assim.”, estocou vagaroso, o rosto ainda meio abismado com a sensação. “Tá tão gostosa aqui dentro.”

“Fode, Hannie... mete em mim…”, pediu bonita, rebolando num movimento contido. Jeonghan sorriu traiçoeiro.

“Não posso, amor.”, a voz dele soou penosa, como alguém que realmente estava triste por não te dar o que você queria.

“Por favor…”

“Não, amor. Hoje não.”, negou outra vez, saindo de você numa lentidão irritante e, como ele bem queria, a bucetinha se apertou em volta do dígito, relutante em deixá-lo sair.

“Fode comigo, por favor. Eu faço o que você quiser.”, implorou do jeito mais carente que conseguia fazer. Jeonghan crispou os lábios, apertando forte sua cintura para deixar claro que o pedido patético tinha surtido efeito no meio das pernas dele. “Coloca só a cabecinha, Hannie…”, beijou com devoção a bochecha do homem, soltando um muxoxo fraco ao que ele conseguiu sair de dentro de você por completo.

“Nem doente você consegue ficar com a bucetinha vazia?”, provocou ou tentou pelo menos. A pele de Jeonghan também queimava, mesmo que não tanto quanto a sua, e ele já se rendia à própria cabeça, à própria carência — também sentia saudades suas.

“Quero que você me use um pouquinho…”, gemeu entre as sílabas, tão gostoso era admitir algo assim. O aperto em volta do seu corpo se tornou firme, meio sufocante.

“É, amor? E o que mais?”

“Eu- Hannie…”, nem conseguiu completar o queria dizer. Foi forçada contra o colo dele, mal dava para respirar.

“Fala mais, bebê.”, instigou, respirava fundo contra a sua têmpora. “Fala que ‘cê quer pau, fala.”, passou a língua nos dentes, aproveitando-se do aperto para roçar o caralho coberto contra sua coxa. “Que ‘tá toda mole porque não aguenta mais a vontade de foder.”, o timbre se tornava mais rouco. “Você tá tão quente, bebê, tão-”, um arfar baixinho interrompeu a fala, Jeonghan já se esfregava em você sem pudor algum. “...quente.”, ele abriu as pernas para ajustar os quadris, apoiando a parte inferior das costas no colchão. O encaixe se tornou perfeito, a entradinha agora pulsava em cima do volume na calça dele.

“O quê você-”

“Shh. Vai rebolar gostoso em mim, deixar eu usar essa bucetinha. Não é isso que você quer?”, os dedos dele se firmaram na sua cintura, instigando o movimento.

“Assim não, amor…”, você resmungou baixinho, ainda que a primeira reação tenha sido realmente rebolar devagarinho em cima da extensão — não deu para resistir, era uma delícia se estimular assim.

“Do jeito que eu quiser.”, rebateu autoritário, erguendo o próprio corpo aos pouquinhos para se forçar contra a sua buceta. Ele apostava que parecia um adolescente visto de fora, se esfregando na namoradinha como um pervertido para compensar a falta de coragem em transar de verdade. Só que estava longe disso, droga, já era homem. O seu homem. O homem que iria acabar se casando contigo qualquer dia desses e que era gamado demais em ti para ser capaz de te deixar passando tanta vontade — mesmo que não fosse te dar o que vocês dois queriam.

Não foi surpresa que a coisa toda tenha se tornado uma simulação realista demais de uma foda de verdade. Você rebolava com um dengo muito característico, próprio de quando ficava cheinha de Jeonghan. E isso, como em todas as vezes, acabava com o homem. Qualquer demonstração do quão estupidamente obcecada por ele você era, enchia-o da necessidade de encher você mais ainda.

“Eu tô cuidando direitinho, não tô, amor? Tô sendo bonzinho.”, o jeitinho doce ruía, ainda que a vozinha manhosa por natureza se forçasse para continuar existindo. “Não vou socar meu pau aqui, porra. Não vou.”, afirmou entre-dentes. Tudo soava como um grande ritual de convencimento próprio. Jeonghan tinha que provar para si mesmo que era forte o bastante para negar o próprio desejo. Ele acabava por descontar a vontade de um jeito ou de outro, a pressão do tecido no seu clitóris se tornava cada vez mais forte e você agradecia aos céus por estar encharcada ao ponto da fricção não te incomodar.

Você separou mais as coxas em volta do corpo dele, abrindo a bucetinha para conseguir encaixar mais do volume no meio dela. A posição não era das melhores e as pernas já reclamavam o esforço, a fraqueza te acertando com força — um lembrete de que o seu corpo não estava em bom estado — mas o desespero pelo orgasmo já havia atingido caráter irreversível, precisava usar Jeonghan nem que isso te fizesse desmaiar. As lágrimas ardiam mais que o normal, ao ponto de não conseguir se manter de olhos abertos. Soluçava baixinho, ora reclamando da dorzinha que sentia no corpo, ora reclamando por sentir seu clímax tão pertinho.

Não precisou afirmar estar no limite, Jeonghan sempre sabia. Ele firmou os braços em volta da sua cintura, virando os corpos de vocês dois na cama sem nada questionar. Te deitou de ladinho com cuidado, puxando o travesseiro mais próximo para apoiar sua cabeça. Foi rápido o suficiente para não te dar tempo de reclamar e encaixou os corpos de vocês outra vez, enlaçando uma de suas pernas em volta do quadril dele para conseguir manter o carinho no meio das suas pernas.

Jeonghan agora arremetia os quadris contra os seus numa foda gostosa, dengosa ‘pra caralho. Há tempos não fazia desse jeito contigo, completamente rendido pelo tesão que dava agir tão patético assim. Você sentia o corpo fraquejar, derretendo em cima do colchão, até mesmo os gemidos saíam mais fraquinhos e só sobrava a sensação deliciosa no meio das pernas.

“Bebê, você 'tá bem?”, a voz rouquinha quase te trouxe de volta, quase. Não teve forças para oferecer resposta alguma, bêbada demais com o próprio prazer. “_____? Amor?”, soou mais preocupado dessa vez, arrumando os fios de cabelo soltos na sua testa.

“Hannie…”, um sorrisinho atordoado despontou nos seus lábios, era nítido que estava meio fora de si. No momento errado, uma estocada lentinha te pegou do jeito certo, fez você pulsar, apertar os olhos, tudo de uma vez. Jeonghan se preocupou mais:

“Abre o olhinho, abre.”, os movimentos se tornando bem mais vagarosos. Acolheu seus rosto com uma das mãos esperando que você acatasse o pedido.

“Não para…”, murmurou contrariada. “Me faz gozar.”, era digno de dúvida se você era capaz de escutá-lo realmente. Ergueu a cintura com a pouca força que tinha, num pedido silencioso para ser fodida. E, mesmo receoso, Jeonghan obedeceu — ainda que não com a mesma força de antes.

Sentiu os lábios dele roçarem os seus em meio ao movimento lânguido, o que te fez abrir a boquinha. A língua do homem achou conforto dentro da sua boca, acariciava a sua quietinha, engolindo cada vibração dos gemidinhos fracos que você nem tinha mais força para soltar — sequer te beijava de fato, só queria estar juntinho. Ele também gemia contido, parecia ter encontrado o lugarzinho perfeito, esfregava a cabecinha do caralho sensível bem em cima do seu grelinho.

O orgasmo veio sorrateiro para vocês dois. Quando foi capaz de perceber, já tinha molhado a calça de Jeonghan muito mais que aceitável enquanto ele também manchava o tecido com a própria porra. A bagunça que dividiam era suja, pegajosa e imoral o bastante para reafirmar o quanto que se amavam — afinal deveria haver muito amor para explicar o quão mais fogosos ficaram por sentir o gozo um do outro pintando a própria pele, envolvidos num beijo cheio de cobiça ao que ainda se esfregavam com gosto.

“Você é um demônio.”, ele disse num risinho folgado em meio aos beijinhos que não cessavam. Você havia se tornado uma mistura estranha de fraqueza e vontade. “Já chega, bebê, sossega.”, levantou o rosto com dificuldade, tentando te dar limite.

Ele aproveitou a distância para poder finalmente prestar atenção no seu rosto: você parecia molenga, sensível e apaixonada — visão comum depois de um orgasmo, percebeu que não tinha muito com o que se preocupar. Só então deu atenção ao próprio estado:

“Tem cueca minha aqui ainda? Me sujei todo.”, forçou uma expressão de nojinho que fez vocês dois rirem. No entanto, sua resposta não veio, ainda estava meio anestesiada. “Eu vou pegar a sopa e o seu remédio, tá bom? Só preciso te limpar primeiro.”, selou sua testa e, coincidentemente, foi só Jeonghan ameaçar se afastar que sua vontade de falar voltou como mágica:

“Mas-”

“Eu resolvi, não resolvi?”, ele te ofereceu um olhar mais rígido, já havia cedido aos seus caprichos muito mais do que havia planejado. “Se comporta, amor.”, franziu as sobrancelhas, você se encolheu um pouquinho — força do hábito. “Preciso de você melhorzinha ‘pra resolver teu problema mais tarde.”

Jeonghan acordou queimando em febre no dia seguinte.

[nchonny]

reading things in your native language sounds different. It has been 7 years since i read something in my native language.. and damn, i'm blushing. that's literally awesome, perfect, beautiful. i'm not well.

[hannieween]

pineapple on pizza? | yoon jeonghan

› pairings: yoon jeonghan x female reader › aus: dilf jeonghan, boyfriend jeonghan, jeonghan is a dad › genres: fluff, smut (18+) › word count: 9.7k

› warnings: porn with a sliver (🤏🏻) of plot, jeonghan is so down bad, he likes to dom you just a little, pussy eating, masturbation, reader is on birth control but this is not mentioned, unprotected p in v sex, breeding kink, creampies, light choking, dirty talk, daddy kink, after care. pet names: baby, babe, darling, sweetheart (hers) babe, daddy (his)

› author's note: i lost my mind and just wrote this. i never write drabbles but yoon jeonghan always changes my mind simply by existing LOL DRABBLE—THIS THING TURNED INTO A FULLY FLEDGED ONE SHOT HAHAKJDHKGJH THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A DRABBLE HAKJHF

› shoutout to @aeristudios for suggesting baby names, and for giving me the inspiration to do this, jskdfjh.

and to @coupsiedaisee for watching me spiral in real time for the yoon jeonghan. thanks. thank you for working out certain plot points with me and for proofing this! 🩵🥺

› disclaimer: minors DO NOT INTERACT. this post is intended for 18+ readers ONLY. please have your age stated in your blog description and try not to look like a bot please 🙂

It was only supposed to be a nap.

You and Yoon Jeonghan have been dating for a few months now. Ever since you met him, your life has turned around, and you’ve never felt luckier. Jeonghan walked into your life with the smoothness of a trainwreck—in the best way possible. One afternoon, you came out of work and started getting rained on out of nowhere. And he happened to be the only guy willing to share his umbrella.

You started talking, waiting for the storm to subside. He took your number, and you were surprised to receive a phone call the very next day. It wasn’t exactly easy to navigate the waters since you learned he was a single parent. Dating was hard enough already, and all of your friends thought you had lost your mind when you started dating a single parent in his thirties.

“I’m barely thirty,” he’d say with a laugh, the tips of his ears turning bright red whenever someone commented on it.  

Jeonghan made things feel lighter, even if his life was a complete mess sometimes. He provided you with a sense of normalcy, a sense of security. Even though you were in your mid-twenties, sometimes you worried you were on different wavelengths. But as the months went by, you found that it was easier than breathing.

Both of you fell into a rhythm. Sometimes you’d visit him, sometimes he’d come to yours with his two-year-old strapped to his hip. You’d dine together, watch some mindless TV, or play games. And whenever he could get the chance to, he’d take you out on dates, just the two of you.

Tonight, you came to his apartment straight from work. It was pasta and pizza night, and it was one of the very first nights that you would stay so late at his house. Neither Jeonghan nor you would stay at each other’s places. You weren’t quite there yet.

Typically, you’d see him wearing his clothes from work—a button-down white shirt, black pants, slacks, belt that matched his shoes. Very clean cut in his work uniform, to the exception of the pair of wacky socks he wore—like salmon pink socks with cute little potted cacti. That’s the kind of man Jeonghan was.

But when he answered the door, you were surprised by what you saw. Sometimes you would see him wearing his uniform still, but with some bits already dishevelled, like his tie would be loose around his neck and his shirt with the buttons half-undone. No. This time, Jeonghan was wearing a white oversized white tee, with bright green shorts and a white cap on his head.

And something about it made your blood stir.

But you had to remain composed. You cleared your throat as you padded through his apartment barefoot.

“What are you cooking tonight, sir?” you asked playfully, following him into the open kitchen of his apartment.

The place was small, but perfect for him and Sohee—it felt lived in, toys scattered in the living room where most of life happened. There was a creamy white rug placed in the centre of the room, a baby chair where Sohee was hyper fixating on a bag of water and peas, while Jeonghan was busy in the kitchen.

Jeonghan eyed you briefly. A smirk broke into the frown he was previously wearing. “Cooking?” he drawled slowly as he appeared to be fighting to open a bottle of wine. “Pasta and pizza. I got up at the crack of dawn to make the spaghetti from scratch with my bare hands.”

“Oh, really?” you smirked, clearly catching on to his game.

“Yeah, obviously,” he said, masking a giggle with a cough. “What, did you think I would order food and then reheat it in the oven?”

You eyed the oven, which showed you the pizza that was currently being heated up. “I would never,” you giggled softly, pushing yourself to your tiptoes to reach for a kiss.

Jeonghan tilted his head to you, aiming for you to kiss him on the lips. But coordination between you failed. In the midst of him focusing on stopping the pasta from burning, and you standing on your tiptoes, you ended up kissing his cheek.

“Stay still,” you whined, making him chuckle. Bringing a hand to cup his cheek, you fixed him in place for you to prop a quick kiss on his lips.

Jeonghan clicked his tongue. “Kiss me properly,” he complained, pouting and knitting his eyebrows in a frown.

“Pay attention to me, then,” you argued, laughing at his reaction.

“I can’t—I’m cooking,” he emphasized with half a laugh. But then he turned the stove off, quickly placing his hands on your waist to push you back against the kitchen sink. The movement was smooth, making you think that he had wanted to do this the moment he saw you walk into the kitchen.

“You are a kitchen hazard,” he huffed, his voice low, barely audible.

“Why?” you asked, laughing softly.

He tilted his head to yours, the tip of his nose bumping against your own. “Cause you’re distracting the chef,” he whispered, joining his lips to yours. The kiss was gentle, almost as if he wanted just to feel your lips with his own and nothing else. Then slowly, as he kissed you again, his tongue brushed your bottom lip ever so slightly, drawing an airy moan from you.

But then, an alarm went off, snapping him back to reality. Jeonghan tensed at the sharp sound, but leaned his forehead against yours. “Dinner’s ready.”

“I’ll get Sohee,” you whispered without opening your eyes yet.

That gained you another kiss—this one was even more brief, fleeting. But it denoted the need he had to have his lips on yours. He stepped back, though begrudgingly.

This was the only push and pull you had with Jeonghan.

In all of the months you’ve been dating, you have never gone past kissing. The only times you both have been close to doing something other than kissing were the few make-out sessions where he dared to slip his hands beneath your blouse, only to feel your back or your waist.

Yoon Jeonghan was the only man in your life who exerted control over himself.

And it was confusing at times.

Not because you questioned his affection, or his desire for you. You knew he wanted you. But for some reason, he controlled himself every time things got a little too heated. And well you… you wanted this man. More than you allowed yourself to admit.

The boyish aspect he sported as he wore his cap, the laid back look… you found it too hard to resist.

But you resisted it anyway. You skirted through the living room, through the rug cluttered with toys that told a story—a train was on the ground, surrounded by little cowboys and ponies. You smirked to yourself, knowing what story Jeonghan might’ve crafted for baby Sohee moments before he got up to get dinner ready.

You lifted Sohee from her chair, mirroring the little squeal she let out as you wrapped her in your arms. “Hi, young lady,” you cooed, smiling at her as she clapped her tiny hands together. Sohee was a perfect little girl with big bright eyes, a head full of messy black hair and the cutest smile— just like her father’s.

Jeonghan had finished setting up the small round table and was approaching you with a small towel he normally used to wipe the drool off of Sohee’s chin. “She might not be hungry, though. Apparently, she ate all of her meals at day care, not just animal crackers,” he commented with a slight but noticeably contented look on his face.

You made a shocked expression, grabbing her attention fully. “She did?” you asked, and the baby giggled at your face. “That’s awesome! Daddy must be so proud of you!”

Jeonghan blinked, his gaze shifting from his daughter’s face to yours. Now, this wasn’t the first time you called him daddy, but you were beginning to notice that it had an effect on him. His eyes widened slightly, and he seemed to stumble over his words before he even uttered them.

He ended up just smiling shyly.

“Come on, let’s put you in your chair,” you said, pretending not to have seen his reaction.

As you safely put Sohee in her highchair, she held onto your hair, making fists around the loose strands and clenching them tightly as you placed her safely.

“Sohee,” Jeonghan sighed reproachfully, catching her tiny fists around your hair before you did.

“Oh—” you muttered.

But Jeonghan was quick, grabbing Sohee’s favorite cup and placing it in front of her strategically. “Look here, Sohee!” he cooed, his tone rising in a way that made you go a little feral with cuteness aggression.

But it did the trick—Sohee instantly went for her sippy cup, silently latching her mouth to it and started drinking from it.

“You okay, sweetheart?” he muttered as you stood back. Jeonghan was standing behind you, so you bumped back against him blindly, his hand falling on your lower hip by accident.

Your whole body became alight with excitement. A little too much of it. “Yeah!” you sighed, your tone sounding too high. You cleared your throat.

If Jeonghan noticed, he did not react. “Please,” he motioned to the chair for you to sit.

You sat down beside Sohee, looking at the table as Jeonghan placed the pizza at the centre. “Hawaiian pizza?” you arched an eyebrow.

Jeonghan stopped, two empty glasses in his hands as he was just about to place them on the table. “Isn’t it your favourite?” he asked, sounding horrified.

“Yes, i-it is,” you replied, face switching into a frown. “How did you know?”

He relaxed visibly, his shoulders going slack as he resumed putting the glasses on the table, then turned to grab the bottle of wine. “Well, you told me,” he said, smirking.

“I did?” you asked.

Jeonghan joined the round table, and it was small enough that he was close to you and Sohee at the same time. “Yeah, you did. Our second date, remember?”

“Uh, yeah. Totally,” you said, not hiding the evident unseriousness in your tone.

Jeonghan huffed. “Ah, you don’t remember,” he clicked his tongue again. “Maybe you should pay more attention to me,” he emphasized jokingly.

You giggled. “You’re right, it is my favorite,” you said, leaning in to place a quick kiss on his cheek. “Thanks for remembering.”

Jeonghan smiled shyly, looking down as you pressed your lips against his cheek. He directed a long look at you as you leaned back on your chair. “Let’s hope she likes it too,” he mumbled, cutting a small piece from his slice of pizza and pinching it with a fork.

“She might not be big on it,” you mumbled softly, looking at Jeonghan as he drove the fork in front of her face. “Not everyone likes pineapple on pizza.”

He glanced at you. “You’re right about that,” he huffed playfully.

“You don’t like it?”

He shrugged, still waiting for Sohee to take the bite. “I don’t mind it,” he replied. “I just think it changes the whole meal. A snack turned into a dessert.”

“So you think pizza is a snack?” you inquired, arching an eyebrow.

“I just don’t think it’s a meal on its own, you know? It needs to have company, like pasta,” he replied with a light smile, his gaze shifting between your face to his daughter’s as she finally took the piece of pizza into her mouth.

“Oh, moment of truth,” you muttered, completely forgetting what Jeonghan just told you.

Sohee appeared to be completely intrigued by the piece of food that had just entered her mouth. She chewed, her face progressively becoming more and more interested in swallowing just to get another mouthful immediately.

“It appears she likes it,” Jeonghan mumbled happily, exchanging a look with you.

“Of course she does,” you asserted. You gave him a confident wink. “Sohee’s like me. She has good taste.”

Jeonghan smiled, content that Sohee was liking the food she was trying for the first time. But there was more in the twinkle of his eyes as he looked at you—you were able to appreciate it.

He was happy.

After dinner, you offered to tidy the kitchen as he bathed Sohee and got her ready for bed. Usually Fridays were more relaxed for you both, since none of you had to work the next day—but something about that day had left you feeling tired, and sleepy. Maybe it was the wine, maybe it was work, you didn’t know.

But you were feeling too tired to drive back home, and in all honesty, you didn’t want to leave yet.

You sat on the couch, waiting for Jeonghan as he put Sohee to bed, and then you could have a moment between you two—which was probably going to end up with you watching something on TV, occasionally stopping to kiss until it got too steamy for either of you. It was usually like this. And this rhythm had you slowly falling into a steady step—familiarity.

You realized you liked it. You could get used to it.

However, tonight, your body had other plans for you.

One moment you were waiting for Jeonghan on the sofa, shutting your eyes, and the next you opened them to find yourself in his queen-sized bed, covered with a weighted blanket. 

You instantly tensed, scrambling to sit up.

Jeonghan was lying beside you, not completely asleep but not quite awake either.

The lights were off, but the curtains weren’t exactly fully closed, so you could see his face thanks to the sliver of light that slipped through the parted curtains. He lifted his eyebrows, blinking slowly at you. “Hey,” he croaked.

“Oh my god,” you mumbled. “I’m sorry, I fell asleep.”

In the darkness, you saw him frown. “Why are you sorry for that?” he asked, his voice soft, laced with tiredness.

You realized that he was still wearing the same clothes, sans the cap. Now, you could see his black hair, which he kept trimmed short. You gulped. “I—” you sighed, finding no excuses to give him. “I should go home.”

Jeonghan lifted his head from the pillows, still frowning. “It’s late,” he mumbled. “And you don’t have to go. You could stay.”

The air in your lungs seemed to vanish in an instant. You knew the implications of staying the night at his place—sharing a bed with him meant you taking things to the next level. A whole more intimate level.

“Jeonghan…” you muttered, but there was no reason for you to say no. You wanted to stay. And you were aching to lie down next to him.

He noticed something in your tone, the hesitation perhaps. Because he smiled softly, stretching an arm towards you. “Come,” he whispered, motioning over to his side of the bed.

You turned over, lying down in front of him. Jeonghan received you in his arms instantly, wrapping one arm over your waist and slipping the other under you, effortlessly pulling your chest closer to his.

Your breath hitched when you felt his warmth, instinctively finding his chest with your palm and pushing some invisible inches of distance between you. It was futile.  

Jeonghan started giggling, crushing his lips on your face. “You’re nervous,” he finally realized, pressing his lips repeatedly against yours. “It’s not like we’ve never slept together before.”

“No, we’ve slept naps together,” you interjected. “And on a couch. Never on a bed.”

“Imagine this as taking a longer nap,” he said, shrugging slightly.

“In a bed,” you added shakily, skirting the pads of your fingers down his chest nervously.

Jeonghan laughed, aiming for another kiss. “Mm-mmph,” he hummed against your lips.

Your pulse quickened. The kisses Jeonghan was giving you were mere pecks, lips pressing against yours repeatedly, gently. It wasn’t until a grunt escaped him, the arm perched on your waist switching so his hand could park on your lower back. He tilted his head, pushing yours so you could part your lips, giving him access.

Jeonghan had a killer factor. And it wasn’t his good looks, or that he was a great kisser, no. Yoon Jeonghan had a duality that only you knew. He could appear composed to some people, fun to others. A good father. A good co-worker. But the thing that never failed to make you want to die a little was just how sexy he could be.

And given the fact that he’d never gone past kisses made you a little crazy.

He kissed you again, now locking his lips with yours, humming into your mouth as you dared to swipe the tip of your tongue on his bottom lip. His hand slipped from your lower back, circling your waist and sliding to meet your hip. Inches closer to your bottom.

“Jeonghan,” you whispered, bringing a hand to cup the side of his neck.

“Want me to stop?” he mumbled, his tone gentle and sweet.

You moved your hand from his neck, shaking your head in tiny motions as you cupped his chin. “No—just a bit longer,” you whispered, diving for another kiss.

Jeonghan returned the kiss just as heatedly, his hand on your hip pressing slightly so his fingertips dipped into the fabric of your skirt. You didn’t even realize that he’d pushed the blanket down, or had you done it?

The sweet pecks had turned into a make-out session. It became harder to breathe, your body felt heavier and hotter. His lips were losing their gentleness, his chest closer to yours to the point it was noticeable in the shift in his breathing.

He pulled away, just slightly, so he could speak. “Tell me when to stop,” he said, his tone rising a bit in desperation. As though he was getting closer to a line he wouldn’t be able to come back from.

“Just as long as you are comfortable, I’m okay,” you whispered, still unable to get a grip on your nervousness.

Now, you weren’t completely inexperienced in sex. You’ve had your fair share of experiences, multiple partners in the past. But there was something about Jeonghan, something about his kiss that melted you away completely—it made you feel like a beginner all over again.

“Me?” he whispered, chuckling softly.

“Yeah, dummy, you,” you said, frowning slightly. “I thought you didn’t want to…”

He pulled away, getting a better look at your face. “Didn’t want to what?” he asked, matching the frown on your face with his own.

“You know,” you mumbled, shrugging with reluctance. “You always pull away when the kissing gets too much, or when your hands go too far.”

He blinked. “I never realized you saw it like that,” he said, softer now.

“Well, explain to me how you think I saw it,” you mumbled, showing him a coy smile.

He seemed to slow down. “I thought you wanted to take things slowly,” he emphasized, still speaking gently.

The statement made your mind race. All the occasions that Jeonghan left you feeling a little too hot, panting, and wet have been because he thought you were the one pulling the brakes?  “Jeonghan, what?” you asked, genuinely confused. “I thought you didn’t want to take things there yet,” you replied, hating yourself for speaking figuratively. Your face heated up.

He smiled fondly at you. “Really?” he mumbled, raising his eyebrows briefly as he leaned his forehead against yours. “You have no idea.”

Jeonghan kissed you again, your breath catching as his lips locked with yours. The arm that was under your body wrapped over your back, as the hand on your hip held you tightly. You never would’ve guessed what he was attempting to do, because when he turned over on his back, he brought your body with him too. Now, you were lying on top of him, your full body weight pressing down on his body.

You had no time to protest—not that you actually had something to protest. But this was the very first time you both dared to do something like this. And it wasn’t because of any kind of convictions you had, it was just because you both failed to interpret the assumed distance.

And now that he knew you also wanted him, it was as though he was released from a self-imposed prison.

Jeonghan let his hands roam free on your back, leaving your hips to press his palms on the line of your back, feeling you over your clothes. He hummed into your mouth as you continued to kiss him fervently, as though his lips were magnetic, calling you to him.

Suddenly, your clothes became too much. You wanted to get rid of his oversized t-shirt, the shorts. Everything. 

And Jeonghan was thinking the same, apparently. Because his hands moved further down on your body, his fingers pinched the stiff fabric of your dress shirt from your work uniform, hiking it up so he could hide his hands beneath it.

Despite his touch being cold, you welcomed it. Your body was hot, feverish as his lips continued to explore yours, his tongue meeting your own in a seamless dance. Your heartbeat was going a mile per second, so fast and so hard you could hear it thumping in your temples. It was almost embarrassing how a simple make-out session could make you feel like you were running a marathon.

It was his effect.

“Hannie,” you called, your tone honeyed and airy.

“Should I stop now?” he asked again, and you realized from his tone that he was aroused as well. It sounded low, raspy.

“No, no,” you mumbled dumbly. “Please, just give it to me. Give me everything,” you pleaded, past caring how pathetic you sounded.

But again, you wanted this man.

Jeonghan didn’t need further confirmation.

His hands slipped from under your dress shirt down and over your skirt, fully cupping your ass over your clothes. “Sit on me,” he mumbled gruffly, swallowing hard.

You let out a strangled and tiny noise from your mouth. But you followed his instruction, moving your knees to each side of his hips—not caring that the movement was hiking your skirt up your thighs, to the point that it barely covered your butt anymore.

Jeonghan didn’t skip a beat, his hand circling your neck to motion you back on his lips. You were straddling now, so it was easier to lean over him to kiss him fully. You grabbed his face with one hand, while the other slipped on the side of his head, fingernails grazing his scalp, feeling his short hair in between your fingertips.

He moaned, the sound muffled by your mouth, reverberating in your chest. It made your blood dance, arousal sizzling under your skin, your heart race even quicker. Instinctively, you pressed your hips down, accidentally grinding your crotch against his. You could feel him through your panties, the hardening bulge beneath his shorts—its warmth.

His hands gripped you harder, motioning you to repeat that same movement by pressing your hips down on him, making you feel his growing boner. You broke the kiss, but only to feel his breath on your lips. “God, Jeonghan,” you whispered shakily.

Jeonghan knew you were nervous by your tone alone. “Tell me what you need, baby,” he told you, his voice still sounding raspy.

After hearing the word baby come out of his mouth, you could not speak past this point. All you knew was his hands on you, the very evident hard-on pressing against your crotch. And Jeonghan’s warmth, the need he had for you, all of that just robbed you of words.

But you could only utter one word. “More,” you said, already knowing that without your consent, he wouldn’t do anything.

You were sure that Jeonghan could feel your rapid pulse beneath his fingertips, his hand still parked around your neck. He motioned you to his lips again, a tiny gasp spilling from his mouth when you shifted on top of him, pressing your ass on his hardened cock. It made you moan too, the sound muffled by his mouth.

His hand slipped from your neck, fingers fumbling over the buttons of your dress shirt. The second his thumb went over the first button, your core started pulsing with need and heavy arousal.

You kissed his mouth, your hand feeling his short hair while the other one felt him up his chest. His heart was beating rapidly too. You could feel it vibrating beneath your palm. His fingers continued their descent down the buttons of your shirt, undoing each one of them with great care. Like giving you ample time to stop him if you changed your mind.

But you, on the other hand, were aching for him to get it done. To get your clothes off so you could start taking his. However, Jeonghan seemed to be taking his sweet time to the point that you began to think that he was doing it to fluster you more.

As soon as the last button of your shirt came off, you pulled back from his lips, leaning back on top of him so you could get a better view of his face. His eyes roamed all over your face and body as you let the dress shirt slip off your shoulders, taking it off your arms to then discard it somewhere on the floor.

Jeonghan’s eyes widened slightly when he saw your chest, covered only by the white lace bra that you were debating to take off at that moment. But Jeonghan sat up with you still straddling him, his hands switched from your hips to your back, palms feeling you up as he reached for the line of your bra.

He looked at your face directly, his eyes reading yours as his fingers unclasped your bra. Your skin immediately prickled, a shudder running down from your nape to your tailbone. You felt his hands move, fingers reaching the straps of your pretty bra to slide them down your shoulders, then your arms.

He paused, his eyes outlining the features of your face one more time before his gaze dove into your chest. Then he leaned over, pressing a sweet kiss on your collarbone, his wet lips brushing your skin made your eyelids flutter close.

Your mouth parted, his mouth continuing to kiss down your chest, was slowly driving you insane. “Oh, Hannie,” you moaned, the sound sweet and almost pathetic.

He responded with a moan of his own, but his sounded raspy, almost animalistic. It made your blood surge, pushing you to press down on him harder. Jeonghan grunted again, this time in protest, as though you were fighting for control, and he would not allow that.

In one motion, he flipped your body over, pressing your back against the mattress. You gasped, your eyes finding him. He never handled you with such force, let alone put you down like this, because he wanted to cage your body with his.

He made no comment about your alarmed expression, but a cheeky smile drew on his beautiful lips before he dipped his head to kiss you again. You were now lying on your back, Jeonghan was slotting his body between your thighs, which you were parting for him, careless that your skirt was already up your belly.

Jeonghan slipped his hands between the mattress and your butt, finding the zipper with his fingers all too effortlessly. It made you think that he had already located the zipper way before this, which meant he’d been looking at your ass as well. The zipper came down, and his hands quickly moved the skirt down.

“I love when you wear this,” he said gruffly, pulling away to remove the skirt from your legs. “But right now, it needs to go.”

He discarded your skirt somewhere in the bedroom, and you heard the metallic sound of the zipper hitting the floor, snapping you to reality. Your hands acted on their own, finding his oversized t-shirt and pulling it over his head, which he let you do all too willingly, even helped you with tossing the shirt to the floor as well.

You giggled softly, stretching your arms to him so he could come back to slotting his hips between your thighs. Once he pressed his bare chest with yours, you wrapped your arms around him, skirting the pads of your fingers along the line of his back, feeling his skin prickle as well.

You loved that he showed no hesitation. He wanted this as much as you did, and he wasn’t afraid to show it. He initially bristled when your fingers started dancing on his bare skin, but as he let out a brief giggle, you realized that he was just ticklish and responding to your touch.

The sound alone made you go entirely feral, if you weren’t feeling like that already. You let your hands roam on his back, searching for the waistband of his green shorts, beginning to pull them down.

But Jeonghan seized your hands, grabbing them by the wrists and pinning them up your head. “Hold them right there,” he said, his tone raspy and laced with a hint of playfulness.

You did what he said, though not by obedience alone, but because Jeonghan had caged you with his body. He lowered his hips on yours, making you feel the size of his hard cock, then the warmth of his chest against yours.

He made a trail of kisses, starting from your cheekbone to your lips, then trailing down to meet the line of your jaw, the crook of your neck and your collarbones. Then, with a fleeting glance at your face, he dipped his head to kiss your chest, kissing your boobs with such deliberation that it made you think he wanted to do this for a long time. He hummed against your skin, tasting your skin as he wrapped his mouth around your left nipple.

You winced slightly under him, but then relaxed instantly when the tip of his tongue swirled around your areola, to then suckle at it and kiss it. Then he did the same with your other nipple, now the feeling was so sweet that you closed your eyes, moaning salaciously.

Jeonghan lifted his head, shushing you softly. But then he giggled bashfully. “We don’t want to wake the baby up,” he warned you, the same spark of playfulness making a return.

“Right,” you whispered, shame tingling beneath your cheeks. “I’m sorry.”

Jeonghan shook his head. “No, you’re alright,” he whispered back, pushing his forehead against yours before propping a light kiss on your lips. “You’re perfect.”

Your heart shuddered. You cupped his face with your hands, meeting his lips with your own with soft pecks. “Want to keep going?” you whispered, your tone rising a little, making you sound shy.

“Yes,” he replied with determination. He swallowed hard, but then you felt him raise his eyebrows slightly. “And you?”

“Yeah,” you replied, giggling at yourself. “I’ve wanted you for so long,” you admitted.

“Mmn,” he hummed, giving you another light kiss. “If only you knew how badly I wanted you,” he replied, matching your giggle.

“You can show me now,” you told him, your tone sweet and melted in arousal for him. “I’ll be quiet.”

“But not too quiet,” he said. “I like the way you sound.”

Something came over you, like a bright light bulb going on and off inside your brain. You smiled cheekily, even though he was still leaning his forehead on yours and couldn’t see you. “Yes, daddy,” you replied.

Jeonghan let out a sigh, and you knew that he was smiling just by the sound alone. He hummed, closing the space between his mouth and yours to kiss it. “You will be the end of me,” he told you, giggling softly.

But then he wasted no time, continuing to explore your bare skin with his lips. He returned to kissing your chest, teasing your nipples with the tip of his tongue, and he did this slowly, as though getting to know how your skin tasted, how it felt on his lips. You were sure now—Yoon Jeonghan had been wanting to do this for a long time.

You remained silent, feeling too aroused and too needy to get things done to even speak. You felt as though your tongue had grown heavy in your mouth, and you were submitted to only watch and feel what Jeonghan did to you. He saw back on his knees, his fingers hooking around the waistband of your panties.

You exchanged a glance with him, and you knew that he was asking for permission just with a look. You nodded, and he started to pull your panties in his direction, taking them off your legs. You retracted your legs, lifting your knees up for him to take your panties off completely, and left them aside on the bed.

Now, you were utterly naked on his bed. For a split second, you wondered how this situation would look from afar—pitch black in the dead of night, only a sliver of streetlight seeping through a crack in the curtains. Jeonghan, half-naked and crawling on top of your body, as you welcomed him in your arms, parting your legs for him.

“You’re so beautiful,” he drawled, pushing his lips against your own. “You don’t know how many times I imagined you here with me,” he whispered coyly.

“Yeah?” you replied in kind.

“Mm-mmph,” he hummed. “So many times. And even then, all those things I thought about don’t even come close to the beauty you are in real life.”

“Hannie,” you giggled sheepishly.

He laughed against your mouth. “My pretty girl,” he said tenderly, kissing you one more time. “So perfect. And sweet.”

Your eyelids fluttered close, as he kissed the underside of your jaw, then your neck. You sighed. “All yours, daddy.”

Now, you were sure that word had an effect on him. He let out a hum against your skin, moving to kiss your collarbones, your chest, your belly. “All fucking mine,” he said aloofly, leaving wet kisses around your belly button.

The room fell silent again, all to the exception of your quiet moans and sighs, and the smacking of Jeonghan’s wet lips as he kissed your lower tummy, inching closer to where you needed him the most.

Now, part of you was finding it hard to believe what he was doing. Even if you had experiences with other people, they were never close to the man Yoon Jeonghan was. All of your past partners seemed to shrink in comparison just by the confidence he exuded—every move was deliberate despite his initial nervousness.

And you attributed that nervousness to how much he cared about this—about taking this step with you. Because you were also nervous. You had never liked someone this much. And had never even waited to have sex with someone for so long while dating.

“Hannie,” you mumbled shakily when he kissed your mound, sending you furtive glances to check in on you.

He lifted his head, and you saw his face. His lips were swollen and wet from kissing you, his eyes darkened and half-lidded with lust. “Want daddy to eat you out, baby?”

“Oh god—” you gasped. “Yes, yes, please.”

Jeonghan only smiled in response. It was a small smile, drawing on his face slowly. He said nothing, keeping his darkened gaze on you as he moved his mouth to kiss the top of your pussy.

You blinked repeatedly, mouth parting to let out a tiny moan. Your body twitched, and you laughed at your own involuntary response as his lips pressed a kiss just an inch lower. “God, Jeonghan, please just do it already,” you pleaded.

Jeonghan grabbed your thighs, holding them open as he bowed his head between them, pulling out his tongue and running it against your outer lips. The feeling was exquisite, making your back stir on his bed, and your head sink on his pillow. Your mouth fell open, and you had to clamp your palm against it to muffle a moan.

He blinked, raising his gaze to look at you briefly before he continued licking your outer lips. You noticed he was doing this to tease you only, right before he did the real thing. He licked your outer lips, kissed them and nipped them with his lips until you were a squirming mess.

“Please, please, please,” you begged over and over, sounding even more pathetic than before.

And he obliged, even if you weren’t voicing what you actually needed. Which was his mouth on your clit. But he did this slowly, working up to it. He gave you a broad stroke with his tongue in between your folds, drinking your arousal straight from your core with a pleased moan on his part.

He licked you over and over until his mouth found your swollen clit, wrapping his lips around it once, as though kissing it only. He flicked it with the tip of his tongue, only to get you to moan and thrash under him.

But he did not comment on it, even if you couldn’t see his face, you knew he was enjoying this. He brought a hand to your tummy, placing it flat against the top of your mound and then he latched his mouth around your clit again, beginning to suckle at it.

“Oh—” you gasped, leaving your mouth open wide as he teased your clit with his lips around it, sucking and pressing his wet tongue against it, moving it slightly from side to side. “God,” you cried out, squeezing your eyes shut.

He did this for a couple of minutes, only switching the pace and motion of his tongue when your moans became raunchier.

The room was soon flooded with the sounds you made and the sounds of Jeonghan’s mouth against your dripping wet pussy. Other than that, it was dead silent in the house, and you were becoming addicted to this game of sorts, of trying and failing to keep quiet. And part of you began to think that this was why Jeonghan kept edging you with his mouth.

“Daddy, I want to cum,” you told him. Running your fingertips on his scalp, feeling his short hair underneath your fingernails. “Please, help me cum,” you pleaded, your tone raw and sweet.

Your thighs were shaking. The rest of your body was so tense with arousal, you were sure you would break. But Jeonghan gave you what you so desperately wanted—sucking and licking your clit until you reached your climax. Tension broke in your body, filling you up with sweet, sweet pleasure.

Your fingers coiled around his hair, back arching as you let your orgasm consume you. “Fuck! Yes, yes, yes, Jeonghan,” you whined quietly, pleasure robbing you of sanity as you started sobbing and shaking on his bed.

He didn’t stop, not until you began panting and heaving. He left a sweet kiss on your top mound again, lifting his head from your ruined pussy. “Felt good?” he asked.

You pushed yourself to sit on the bed, hands quickly finding the waistband of his shorts and started tugging them down with shaky fingers. “Yeah. Amazing,” you sighed, not caring how pathetic you sounded.

Jeonghan was on his knees, looking at you fumble with the remainder of his clothes. He brought a hand to cup your cheek once you got rid of both his green shorts and his grey boxers. You raised your head to meet his gaze, and you knew that he just wanted to have an image of you like this.

You bent down, grabbing his hard cock with one hand and propping a prim kiss on his cockhead. You sent him a glance, moving your lips to press them on his shaft. Jeonghan was well-groomed and had a pretty cock. It was long, and the tip matched the color of his lips. And it was warm, hard and leaking precum from his slit.

His eyelids fluttered slightly. “Lay back, baby,” he whispered.

You obeyed, moving to lie back again on the pillows as he moved on his knees slowly. His gaze roved all over your naked body as he placed his hands on each side of your head, and then lowered himself to his elbows.

You ran your palms down his chest, feeling the muscle of his abdomen clenching slightly when your fingernails grazed against his skin. But he was kissing you again, as though he couldn’t go for too long without joining his lips with your own. His breathing shifted, and your fingers wrapping around his hard cock again made him groan into the kiss.

You rolled your hand on his cock, stroking him languidly as he positioned his knees on the bed, making you open your thighs wide for him. And then you guided the tip of his cock to your pussy, rubbing his cockhead up and down your wet folds just to get a reaction from him.

Jeonghan groaned, but didn’t stop you. And when his cockhead finally notched against your entrance, he pushed his hips against yours, slipping his bare cock inside you all in one go.

The kiss was broken. Your head sank on the pillows, and Jeonghan pulled back to see your face as he stuffed you full of his cock. Your eyebrows knitted, mouth parting as you let out a silent cry.

“You’re good?” he asked you softly, but his breath was ragged already.

You wanted to say yes. You felt better than you ever had in your entire life. An exhale came from your nose; you were already fucked out.

Jeonghan nudged the tip of his nose against yours. “Mn?” he hummed gently. “Baby?” 

“I’m good, Jeonghan,” you mumbled, wrapping your arms over his shoulders. “Perfect,” you mouthed.

Jeonghan giggled, starting to move. “Yes, you are, baby,” he said sweetly. “So perfect.”

You wished you could say something just as endearing. But you were quickly robbed of speech completely. Your mind had gone blank, going from the shocking orgasm Jeonghan gave you with his mouth to stuffing you full of his cock.

Jeonghan let his head fall on the crook of your neck, using your hair to muffle a raw moan as he moved his hips against yours, thrusting his cock inside you at an insanely good and steady pace.

You had closed your eyes, letting him take you however he pleased. You were too gone, melted in a puddle of arousal—it was then you realized just how wet you were. Your skin was covered in a sheen layer of sweat, your face smeared with tears of pleasure, and you could feel your pussy dripping with a mixture of your arousal and his spit. So wet in fact that every time Jeonghan moved, you could hear it.

You had started to match Jeonghan’s moans, except that he could muffle them on the curve of your neck. You were trying not to be loud, but it was proving to be a harder task than it initially was.

Jeonghan moved his head, probably thinking the same thing you were, because he crushed his mouth against yours—kissing you so passionately that all you could think was that he was trying to get you to shut up.

But he leaned his forehead against yours, breathing raggedly as his thrusts picked the pace up. “You feel so good,” he whispered shakily. “I’m not going to last long.”

“It’s okay. I want you to cum,” you replied, letting your fingers feel his skin. His back, his lats, his hips as he rolled them on top of yours.

The moan he let out this time was raspy, but he was able to drown it out in your mouth. “Where do you want me?”

Your mind spun with the question. And you knew then—you were crazy. Because you had to be. “Cum inside me,” you said, hating the sound that came from your lips. Raw, honeyed, like a whine.

Jeonghan grunted in a near-animalistic way, his thrusts stuttering in their pace, but he kept ramming his cock in and out of your pussy. “Fuck,” he whispered. And he rarely cussed when he was with you, and that was how you knew he was growing more and more desperate. Closer to his orgasm.

“Jeonghan,” you whined, knowing now that he was just as insane as you were. You cupped the back of his head with your hands, feeling his trimmed hair in between your fingers. “I want you to fill me up, daddy. Please, please.”

He let out a long, raspy moan, his breath caressing your lips as he started gasping more, pushing his hips against yours in a languid manner. You knew he was cumming inside you, and the thought of it made you moan with him, tilting your hips for him to fuck his cum deeper into you.

Jeonghan opened his hand, finding your head to caress your hair. He was panting, his chest touching your own every time he drew in air through his mouth. His thumb started moving side to side, caressing your temple.

You were shaking, hands slipping from his head, but stopped at his neck, feeling his pulse.

Then you felt his lips over yours, making you part your lips for him to have access to your mouth. His tongue rolled inside your mouth, drawing an airy moan from you. You could taste yourself on his tongue, on his lips. The act alone made your walls clench around him.

And he felt it.

Jeonghan grunted. And for a split second, you thought you were beginning to go insane because you felt him move, pushing his hips ever so slightly against yours. But no, Jeonghan was thrusting inside you again, moving his hips languidly, so slowly.

But before you could utter a question, something, he pulled back. Now sitting on his knees, Jeonghan grabbed your hips, starting to fuck you down his cock, which was beginning to harden again.

“Fuck,” Jeonghan sighed, tilting his head back but only briefly. His gaze roved all over you, from your face to your body and down your pussy, where his cum was spilling out of your swollen and tight entrance.

You could only look at him. He had a fucked out look on his face, and you realized that his skin was also covered in a sheen film of sweat. Your gaze trailed down to his abdomen and the way it contracted slightly with each thrust of his hips against yours, to then his happy trail leading down his pubic hair, which was smeared with a creamy white string of your arousal. And he was also looking at you, where your bodies joined, where his cum was dripping out.

His cock slipped out of you, making you both emit a sound at the same time. You smiled softly at him, and he mirrored your smile back. He grabbed his cock, coated with his cum and your juices, only to drive it back in your pussy, pushing his cum deep inside your walls.

Your entire body was overtaken with an intense shudder. Jeonghan kept fucking you like this, moving your hips to meet his rapid thrusts. He was beginning to look tired, but that didn’t stop him from grabbing one of your thighs with one hand and hiking it up his shoulder.

You whined at the change in position, now you could feel his cock reaching deeper inside you at each thrust.

“Fuck,” he whispered tiredly, letting his head tilt back. “You feel so good, baby,” he repeated. “You’re squeezing me so good.”

You could only moan in response, which made Jeonghan smile, turning his face to press a kiss on the inner side of your knee. The feeling of his lips on your skin only intensified the pleasure building inside you.

“Jeonghan,” you called.

“Yes, baby?”

“Fuck me harder,” you pleaded.

It was at that moment you knew—you could never let go of this man. Because Yoon Jeonghan smiled at your request and gave in anyway. He grabbed your other leg and hiked it on his shoulder, now fucking you harder, driving his cock inside you deeper.

You let out a whine. The deeper he went inside you, the closer you felt to your second orgasm. And this time it was quicker, being so stimulated that pleasure built easily in your body. But it was the whole situation that drove you insane—trying to keep quiet while Jeonghan rammed his cock inside you, his cum spilling out of you, headboard slamming softly against the wall, everything.

“Jeonghan!” you gasped, a strangled noise coming out of you as your second orgasm barreled down your spine, so hard you had to squeeze your eyes shut and clench the blanket with your hands.

He let out a sound through gritted teeth, and you knew by the way his thrusts slowed down that he was cumming with you, too. “Fuck,” he whispered, thrusting tiredly now, sloppily. He eased your legs back to the bed, crawling back on top of your body to kiss you again.

The kiss was languid, heavy with the need to rest and go back to sleep. But you were both latched to each other, kissing passionately despite the urge to breathe properly again. You were tired, yes, but were also happy beyond belief.

You cupped his cheek as he broke the kiss with a gasp. “You okay?” he asked.

You giggled. “You have to stop asking me that,” you replied, caressing his cheek with your thumb. “Yes, Hannie. I’m okay.”

He blinked slowly, bumping the tip of your nose with his own. “Do you want to sleep now?”

You nodded. “Definitely,” you said.

Jeonghan smiled fondly at you. “Okay. But before that, let me take care of you. Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you replied, your tone tiny and so sweet.

It made Jeonghan smile. “Alright,” he said, kissing you one more time before he peeled his body off of yours.

He climbed off the bed and walked to the bathroom. Moments later, you heard the water from the shower running. As he came back to the bedroom, you got a better view of your boyfriend. He was glorious—wholly naked, fucked out look on his face. And all yours.

“Don’t give me that look,” he said as soon as he noticed you, smiling knowingly.

“What? What look?” you asked, playing coy.

He leaned over the bed, placing his hands at each side of your face. “The kind of look that makes me want to climb up here and keep making love to you all night long.” 

You giggled amusedly. “Jeonghan, you’re threatening me with a good time.”

He smirked. “Oh, darling. And I haven’t even started with you,” he said, pressing a kiss on the corner of your mouth.

A tingling sensation shot down, straight to your core.

Jeonghan must’ve caught a reaction on your face, because he only giggled. “Come on, baby. Let’s get you cleaned up.” 

Once back in the bedroom, your tummy twisted anxiously when you saw the aftermath of what you had done—clothes scattered on the floor, the blanket tousled on one side of the bed and the messy covers and pillows.

You began to pick the clothes from the floor, gathering them in a neat pile while Jeonghan checked in on Sohee quickly. When he came back, your tummy fluttered again. He looked different, recently showered and ready to sleep, a different side to his confident face.

He had given you a t-shirt to wear and also offered to lend you sweatpants, which you declined, given that his t-shirt was already oversized and almost reached your knees.

A part of you felt different now. Not bad, exactly. Like you had reached the end of a chapter and were now beginning another. You and Jeonghan had had this routine of sorts for months before you started a sexual relationship, but it just felt so different now. It made you nervous.

Would he look at you differently now?

“Is something wrong?” Jeonghan asked, the sound of his voice snapping you out of your thoughts.

Jeonghan was opening the bedcovers and sheets for you both, motioning you over with his head.

“No. Nothing’s wrong,” you replied, trying your best to mask your self-doubt. You crossed the bedroom and slipped into the bed.

When Jeonghan clicked his tongue, you realized that you had taken a space that was far from his usual spot on his bed. “Come here,” he giggled softly, noticing your shyness now.

“Sorry,” you whispered, cuddling up to him. “Force of habit.”

“Mmn, yeah,” he muttered, looking at you as you leaned your head on his shoulder. He emitted a soft laugh, wrapping an arm around you. “Not anymore. Mkay?”

“Okay,” you replied, letting your worries go.

“Can I ask you something?” he said.

You moved your head on his chest to look at him briefly. “Of course.”

“Why did you think I wanted to take things slow?” he asked. His tone was soft, quiet.

You blinked. “Because I thought you didn’t want to risk things changing between us…” You trailed off. “You know? You have a lot on your plate with Sohee and your ex.”

The last word spilled from you like a curse.

You and Jeonghan always skirted around that topic of conversation. All you knew was that Jeonghan had a very fleeting relationship with Sohee’s mother, and it ended up with her getting pregnant. Jeonghan had full custody of Sohee, and you had also come to learn that his ex only liked to appear in both Jeonghan’s and Sohee’s lives sporadically. But on those occasions, she always seemed to make it a living hell for him.

Jeonghan blinked, and you knew your words had left a heavy impact on him.

Your heart squeezed. “I shouldn’t have,” you added nervously, looking away. “I’m so sorry.”

A pause.

Jeonghan slipped his fingers beneath your chin, tilting your head up to meet your eye again. “No,” he mumbled. “We can talk about it.”

“Okay,” you whispered shakily.

“I don’t want you to think that there are things we can’t talk about, you know?” he said, worry beginning to set into the features of his face. “And maybe I’m to blame here, because I didn’t want to bombard you with my stuff.”

“What do you mean?” you said.

Jeonghan sighed, and it wasn’t out of tiredness or exasperation. He was looking for the words to say. “When I met you, I was terrified of some things. I debated whether to tell you about Sohee on the first date. I just didn’t want to say something that would scare you away,” he lowered his gaze briefly. “And I debated even more on telling you about my ex.”

“But you did tell me about Sohee on our first date,” you reminded him, frowning a little. “And about your ex on our second date.”

Jeonghan smirked slowly. “So you do remember our second date.”

“Of course I do, dummy,” you said. And then it clicked. You didn’t remember telling Jeonghan about your favorite kind of pizza because he had just told you about his evil ex. And that was his way of changing the topic. “I must’ve been digesting a lot of information while we talked about Hawaiian pizza, you know?”

He offered you a solemn look. “And you still stuck around. You could’ve walked away, but you didn’t,” he whispered, looking at you longingly. “You still haven’t.”  

You parted your mouth. “I don’t think I want to, Jeonghan,” you replied in kind.

His gaze softened. “If something happens, will you talk about it with me?” he asked softly.

“Yes,” you mouthed. “Can I ask you now?”

Jeonghan nodded, blinking at you sleepily.

“Why did you think I wanted to take things slow?”

“Same thing,” he responded reluctantly at first. He let out a sigh. “I thought you didn’t want things to get messy, you know? I have a kid and I’m alone in this. I didn’t want to hold it against you if you didn’t want to get sexually involved with me.”

A smile broke into the features of your face. You pushed yourself up to kiss him tenderly. “You’re such a dummy,” you whispered.

“Me?” he giggled, holding you closer so he could press another kiss on your lips. “What did I do?”

“I’ve wanted you from the moment we met,” you told him, and it was the truth.

“How was I supposed to know?” he said, clearly clueless.

“I thought you always noticed,” you said, still in disbelief.

“But you never said anything.”

“Jeonghan,” you deadpanned. “I really like you. Like really, really like you.”

He smiled sheepishly, blinking slowly. “Well, I know that. I really like you too. I just wanted to wait until you felt ready to take things to the next level.”

“Babe, I literally called you daddy and let you cum inside me not only once, but twice,” you told him with a flat tone.

Jeonghan almost choked on his laughter. “Sweetheart! You can’t just say those things,” he said, sounding both scandalized and amused.

“Why not?” you said, clicking your tongue. “You’re always saying weird stuff as well.”

“Really?” he said, and you nodded at him. “Am I weird?”

“Yep.”

“Okay, I’m weird then,” he said with a faux defeated tone.

“You’re weird like pineapple on pizza,” you said. “Sweet and salty at the same time.”

He emitted a low chuckle. “That’s really corny, babe. I’m impressed.”

“Thank you. I work hard on my metaphors,” you replied primly.

“I’ll give this metaphor a seven out of ten,” he smirked.

You gasped. “Admit it, you love my metaphors.”

“Yeah, like I love pineapple on pizza,” he said, letting the sarcasm coat his words. He brushed his fingers down the line of your jaw, looking at you fondly. “You’re weird too.”

“The kind of weird that matches yours,” you said confidently.

Jeonghan smirked, closing the space between his lips and yours. “Absolutely.” 

› author's note pt. 2: i need to give him a kid. or kids, plural. like asap, please. i'm begging 😭

i literally wrote this in between calls from work. like it literally took me 24 hours to write this, no joke. jeonghan just drives me insane. i have no explanation for this 🧍🏻‍♀️ i might just be ovulating but let's be real — i'm always thinking about jeonghan, and right now the baby fever is going wild. you'll see in future fics lololol

i want to thank you all for being here and for reading so far!! i recently gave away 25 free spots on my patreon!! i'm so excited hehe, i might giveaway more spots in the future! thank you guys for joining! 🥺🩵

i love you all! thank you for reading!

toodles!

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© RIGHTS RESERVED TO HANNIEWEEN I DO NOT ALLOW TRANSLATIONS, CONTINUATIONS, REIMAGINATIONS OF MY WORKS OR THEIR REPOSTING ON OTHER WEBSITES.

[nchonny]

i wish this person have the most good things in life. what a good fanfic, im mesmerized by the trope and how good it was to read.

[starlightxsvt]

Undue Influence | y.jh

synopsis ➳ ❝ he is your sworn enemy. hell, you are literally at war with him right now. yet, you find yourself desiring him in a way that could be catastrophic. the only silver lining is that he might be feeling the same way towards you. or maybe it is all just a game.❞ pairing ➳ lawyer fem!reader x lawyer!jeonghan genre ➳ enemies to lovers, legal drama, smut wc ➳ 9.1k warnings ➳ this will have inaccurate descriptions of court and legal systems cuz i ain't no lawyer, lots of banter and sexual tension, cursing, mentions of child abuse, daddy issues, very brief hints of childhood trauma, corruption ig, kissing, dirty talking, fingering, one pussy slap, biting and teasing, Jeonghan himself is the biggest warning.

“Your Honour, he fucking sucks ass!”

The courtroom plunges into a suffocating void of silence, as if the very air has been swallowed by a black hole, leaving only the echo of your childish outburst. Thick, heavy silence that drags on endlessly, echoing your very professional sentence through the air in an endless spiral. 

You remain frozen in your place, your eyes locked with your opponent who stands before you with his arms crossed and a cocky smile that keeps growing by the second. He looks like a cat that ate the canary, and the urge to punch his stupid face grows within you violently.

“Counselor,” the judge clears her throat. You slowly turn your head to face her, mortification written all over your face. You find her glaring at you. “This is a courtroom, in case you forgot. Not a middle school playground.”

You hear Jeonghan snicker beside you and you force yourself to take a deep breath as you straighten the lapels of your suit and clear your throat. “My apologies, your Honour. It will not happen again.”

The challenging look Jeonghan throws at you foreshadows otherwise, and mentally, you imagine punching his face repeatedly and kicking him in the balls. With that calming image in your mind, you look at Mina, your plaintiff, reminding yourself why you are here. 

You have a job to do.

You cannot lose to Yoon Jeonghan. Not again.

“Defense Counsel, would you like to add anything more?”

Jeonghan’s challenging gaze lingers on you for a second longer before he addresses the judge. “Yes, Your Honour. As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted,” he makes a point by looking at you. “My client also loves his child, but let’s not kid ourselves— he can provide the future this child deserves.” He pauses to look directly into your eyes, that cold, ruthless gaze reappearing in his eyes, one that you hate with a passion beyond language. “My opponent may argue emotional bonds, but the reality is this: money makes the world go round. And a child with access to wealth will have the resources to thrive, no matter what. That’s the kind of future my client can provide.”

You grip the table behind you to distract yourself from the rage coursing through your veins. 

The silence weighs down like a lead blanket after his words, and in the suffocating stillness, you hear Mina sigh from behind you, and a piece of your heart breaks. 

Suddenly, you have the urge to cry. This feels familiar, like that case two years ago. 

You were representing a key witness, and Jeonghan was defending a wealthy, high-profile businessman accused of murder. His flawless legal strategy dismantled the evidence you worked so hard to find, and it was an easy victory for him. It made you second-guess everything you thought you knew about the law. You had never lost a case before, and that singular case shattered your sense of invincibility. 

Your boss called you a sore loser after you quit your job as a prosecutor, but there was no other option for you. Prosecuting left a bitter taste in your mouth. So you packed everything up and took a big step, opening your own law firm and starting your journey as a family lawyer.

So that you would never be in a situation like that.

Yet here you are again, up against the same man who made you question everything.

The judge’s voice brings you back to the present moment. “Plaintiff’s Counsel, would you like to add anything?”

You blink and swallow. “No, Your Honour.”

“Very well then,” she leans back in her chair. “The court will resume on Thursday, April 17th, for the final hearing. This session is now concluded.”

As the room slowly empties out, you silently stare at Mina, who looks up at you with shining eyes. “We are going to win, right?” She asks, her voice cracking.

You hate how you doubt yourself.

Blinking a few times, you compose yourself. “We will. Trust me. This isn’t over yet.”

It isn’t. Jeonghan plays dirty all the time, and now, for the first time in your career, you will not hesitate to play dirty either. You have to win this case. There is simply no other option.

— 

Judge Beatrice’s voice stops you in your tracks when you are on your way to the elevators. “What was that, Attorney ____?”

You immediately whip your back and, clasping your hands together in front of you, mutter out a meek apology. “I am really sorry about that, Madam.”

She steps closer to you, her black robes flowing elegantly along with her movements. “That was very unlike you, Attorney ____. You lost your composure the last day as well. Whatever issue you have with Attorney Yoon, you don’t bring them inside the courtroom, is that clear?”

You stare at the ground, chewing on your lower lip. “Yes, madam. I am extremely sorry.”

“I am letting this pass only because your father was a colleague and a teacher I respected dearly. You know I don’t let shit like that pass in my trials.”

“Yes, Madam. Of course.”

“Good,” she walks past you. “Have faith in yourself, Attorney. You can win this case.”

You stand motionless in your place as the judge walks past you and down the hallway before shutting the door to her office with a loud slam.

You exhale a breath you have been holding.

Your heels click rhythmically on the glossy floors as you make your way towards the elevators, just in time to see the doors of one closing. You immediately push the button to open them back up and immediately regret your decision.

The elevator is empty except for Yoon Jeonghan, who looks up as the doors reopen. The moment his eyes land on you, they sparkle vividly, like a hunter spotting an exotic animal they have been looking for all day.

Your feet pull the brake at the last second as you stand in front of the open doors, your eyes fixed on his face, while you go through a mental debate of whether you should get in or not.

“Attorney ____,” Jeonghan hums sweetly and you know it is anything but sweet. He steps aside and extends a hand, silently asking you to enter.

The fear of looking like a coward has you gritting your teeth as you step inside, ignoring him completely.

Keeping ample space between the two of you, you find your place at one corner, choosing to stare at the ceiling of the elevator. You avoid looking at his face because if you look at it too long, you get violent urges like smashing his head against a wall and cursing him out in every language that ever existed. So, you close your eyes and take in a deep breath as the doors close. It is barely a ten second elevator ride from the third floor. You will survive.

Except two seconds later, you realize you won’t.

With a sudden loud thunk and a heavy vibration, the elevator comes to a halt. A second later, the lights fizzle out, leaving only the dim strips of emergency light on in the ceiling.

How delightful.

None of you moves for a second as the realization of the situation dawns on you. Then, Jeonghan presses the emergency call button, and the voice of a security guard comes through.

“I’m really sorry. This elevator has been having some issues recently. Hang in there for a bit. This should be resolved within 10 minutes.” Someone says.

Lovely.

You grip the handle of your handbag tightly.

Today has been an exceptional day so far. What are the chances you get stuck with Yoon Jeonghan, out of all people, in an elevator?

“He said it’ll take ten minutes,” Jeonghan repeats the information, turning to look at you.

You ignore him and stare at the floor.

“Oh come on,” Jeonghan leans against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest. You can feel his eyes on you, and you find yourself wishing it were pitch dark in here. “We’re stuck here for the next ten minutes if luck is on our side. If not, who knows how long? Might as well make the best of it.”

You huff out a breath before meeting his eyes with a glare. “You know what your problem is, Mr. Devil’s Advocate?”

His brows rise and an amused, cocky smile kisses his lips. 

You hate it. 

“I’d love to hear it.” He entertains you.

“You argue just to hear yourself talk. Doesn’t matter if you’re defending a cheating husband, a billionaire with a God complex, or…hell— a rock in the middle of the street. If someone pays you enough, suddenly that rock has rights and everyone else is just ‘too emotional’ to see the truth.”

He chuckles, tilting his head. “Hm, depends on the rock. Is it a trust fund rock or self-made?”

Your nostrils flare, and your hands curl into fists. “See? This— this is why I cannot tolerate your guts. I cannot believe I’m stuck in here with you…Yoon fucking Jeonghan.”

Jeonghan chuckles, and you narrow your eyes at him. His eyes linger on your face, making you feel hyperaware of yourself. He traces his index finger over his chin in a thoughtful manner, as if he is scrutinizing you. “You know, I think you yell at me so much because you secretly enjoy saying my name.” He states with a smirk.

You resist the urge to roll your eyes. “Oh, absolutely. It’s my favourite curse word.”

He laughs, the sound lighthearted yet throaty, and you immediately look away for whatever reason.

“This case is clearly stressing you out, sweetheart.” He hums, casually calling you with a nickname. “You should relax.”

“Unlike someone, I actually care about my clients.” You stare at the doors.

“Mhm. I do too. Otherwise, I would not have taken this case.”

“Oh please,” you cannot stop yourself from rolling your eyes this time. “Enough with the pretenses. Everyone knows Jun Gi is paying you millions for this.”

Jeonghan grins, flashing his teeth. “What can I say, I am just that good.”

You bite your tongue and stare at him silently, summoning all your hatred and disgust for him in your eyes. You whisper, “You’re shameless.”

He shrugs, nonchalant. 

A sigh of exhaustion parts from your lips, and you check your wristwatch for the nth time. Ten minutes are almost done. How much longer is it going to take?

“What’s the hurry, sweetheart?” Jeonghan singsongs. You grit your teeth, murmuring, “Words cannot describe how much I want to climb through the ceiling vent and leave you here.”

He flashes a grin. “That desperate to get away from me?”

“More like your huge ego.”

“You know what else is huge?” His smirk grows bigger as his eyes shine with mischief.

You scrunch your face in disgust.

“Why are you making that face?” His voice drips with innocence, but you know it's all an act. “I was going to say my winning streak. What was going on in that smart little brain of yours, dirty girl?” He raises a cocky brow, one of his hands working on loosening the knot of his tie. You were about to clap back by saying how unprofessional he is being, but his little action distracts you from saying the words out loud. They become a jumbled mess in your head as your eyes raptly trace the movement of his slender, bony fingers in the dimly lit space. He loosens his navy blue tie before unbuttoning the top button of his shirt, exposing his Adam's apple. 

For some reason, the view is hypnotizing, and you hate yourself for not being able to pry your eyes off him. At the same time, in the very back of your mind, an annoying part keeps repeating his words “dirty girl” over and over again.

What is wrong with you? The air must be thinning out in here.

Your gaze shifts from his neck to his face, and with sheer terror, you realize he has been staring at you all this time. Your heart drops and you immediately look away, wishing you were anywhere but here, stuck in an elevator with Jeonghan. The only man who pushes your buttons like nothing else. 

You don’t have to look at him to know there is a smug smile on his face.

“You keep looking at me, Attorney ____.” The statement is dripping with arrogance. You hate it. You wish it would go pitch black in here, and you could blend in with the darkness. Or, the elevator could just snap and fall down, and you would accept death happily rather than admitting that you were looking at Yoon Jeonghan.

Turns out you’re in luck this time because your wish immediately materializes with the sudden blinking of lights and a harsh jerk of the elevator that throws you off balance. You lose your footing and fall on the opposite side, right next to Jeonghan, clutching onto the handle to keep yourself stable. Then, the emergency lights fizzle out and it goes pitch black.

“Fuck,’’ he curses under his breath.

“I cannot believe I am going to die here, stuck with you,” you hiss, tightly gripping the handle. Your words lack the confidence you would have liked them to have because you don't like where this is going.

Be careful what you wish for!

“We are not going to die in here, okay?” Jeonghan’s voice has the conviction that yours lacked. Your reply is a grunt because, frankly, your mind is starting to spiral. 

Fortunately, the elevator makes another soft jerk, and the lights turn on again with a loud noise. Your eyes take a moment to adjust to the brightness, and half a second later, you are hyper-aware of Jeonghan’s presence next to you.

He is so close that his arm is brushing against yours. He is so close that the scent of his cologne tickles your nose and momentarily puts you in a trance. Unconsciously, your head moves, turning sideways to look at him, only to find his face too close to yours, his eyes already trained on you like a hawk. 

Your heart skips a beat. As unnerving as it is to be in such proximity to him that you feel his breath caress your face, you find yourself stuck and completely unable to move.

“You know, you are quite beautiful up close.” He whispers. 

Your mind blanks out.

You need to do something— smack his face, shove him away, yell at him. Something. Anything. You realize you cannot exercise that will on your body because you keep gazing at him, counting the little moles on his face that you've never taken notice of. In the back of your mind, a quiet voice tells you that he is getting closer to you, his face inching nearer and nearer.

Is he going to kiss you? Why does the thought delight you and send your heart racing?

Briefly, you wonder if it’s your imagination, but no, he is actually getting closer to you. So close that even without his lips meeting yours, you can taste them, you can feel them and the sensation is electric.

Your eyes fall closed instinctively and you wait for a kiss that never comes.

Instead, what comes is the ping of the elevator, which you hear a second later. When you open your eyes, the doors are already open and two maintenance workers blink at the two of you curiously. 

Like you have been zapped by a current of a thousand bolts, you and Jeonghan fly away from each other. Jeonghan clears his throat while you straighten your jacket and look anywhere but at the two men standing outside.

“You folks okay?” One of them asks.

“Yeah. Any longer and it would not have been fun.” Jeonghan replies, his tone lighthearted. 

Why is he so unaffected? You can still hear the pounding of your heartbeat in your eardrums, and your face is radiating enough heat to make you sweaty.

One of the guys says something to Jeonghan, continuing the conversation and you use that time to march out of the elevator, your eyes focused on the ground as you fan your heated face.

Fuck, what were you about to do in there? Kiss Yoon Jeonghan?

God, no.

The thought sends shivers down your spine as you briskly continue your way to the parking lot next to the courthouse. 

As you are fishing your keys out of your handbag, Jeonghan’s voice makes you stop in your tracks. “Attorney ____!”

You are unsure whether it is shame that prevents you from turning around. You decide it is sheer mortification that leaves you unable to look him in the eye and so, you just turn your head to the left and wait, indicating that you have heard him and are waiting for him to continue.

“See you next Thursday,” Jeonghan says and you wish you could see the look on his face. Is he affected like you are? It sure doesn’t feel like that from his voice.

You pause for a second and, once sure he has nothing more to say, you continue marching towards your car. Without sparing a second and completely avoiding looking at where he stands, you pull your Audi out of the parking lot and zoom down the street. 

— 

It is the fifth anniversary of the law firm that Judge Beatrice’s son started. 

A party isn’t really your scene, especially when most of it is full of boring middle aged men, half of whom you cannot tolerate the guts of. So, you make yourself comfortable in a corner, staying near your colleagues and sipping on champagne instead of going around for the sake of formality. 

“Girl, slow down with the drinks.” Lara, your colleague eyes the new flute of champagne in your hand. You huff out a breath. “Please don’t. Let me drink this expensive but free champagne in peace.”

“Dinner isn’t for another hour, you know.” She reminds and before you can reply to her, you are interrupted.

“I didn’t know this was your type of scene, Attorney ____.” Jeonghan’s sudden voice prompts your shoulders to jerk. You turn around and find him standing right there, dressed in a formal three piece suit and slick back hair that makes him look unfairly good.

Fuck. Your fingers grip the flute tightly. For a brief second, your mind travels back to the heated moment you shared with him two days ago in the elevator. Against your wish, your eyes briefly flicker to his lips, but you force your gaze back to his eyes.

“I don’t know what you mean.” Turning your back on him, you sip your champagne in one go. You find Lara looking at the two of you with narrowed eyes and before you can ask her to get you out of this, she struts away with a knowing smile. Jeonghan smoothly positions himself right next to you. “Oh, I just mean I have heard parties aren’t really your thing.” He aimlessly gestures with a hand around the space.

“Don’t know where you heard that from.” You murmur, picking up a flute off the tray as a waiter passes by. 

“I am not particularly a fan of parties either but I sure love it when I get to see you, Attorney ____, in a dress. In which, may I add, you look absolutely stunning.” He flashes a dashing smile.

You look away. “Hm,” you hum, “I pegged you as a party lover, honestly, Counselor Yoon.”

He gives you a dirty smile, leaning closer to you. “You would love to peg me, wouldn’t you?”

You half choke on your drink as blood rushes to your face. Jeonghan finds your reaction pleasing because he chuckles at you before finishing his drink in a quick gulp. Wiping your lips, you observe his profile for a while before setting down your flute and facing your body towards him.

“Are you flirting with me?” You cross your arms and cock a brow at him.

He smiles. Resting a hand on the table behind you, he leans closer and you instinctively pull back. Once again, his cologne assaults your senses, making your mind go blank. The perfume on him is different from the one he was wearing the other day. This one has strong notes of sandalwood and a bit of cinnamon, a dangerously addictive combination when it is on him.

“You tell me,” he drawls with a smirk. His eyes are bright, fiery pools of smoke and desire, so deep and hypnotising that your breath catches in your throat. “Am I allowed to flirt with you?”

You huff, trying your best to be annoyed as you shove him away softly. “Ugh, mind your business, Counselor. And stop invading my space.”

“If you wore a dress like this to court, I would let you win every damn case.” His eye contact doesn’t waver when he says the words.

They leave you stunned. You struggle to understand if he is just making fun of you or if he sincerely means them. You blink, watching him with a face that keeps warming up by the second, unable to say anything.

You are saved from the trouble when a few journalists, accompanied by photographers, ask for pictures of you two.

Ah, just what you were waiting for. 

One of the many things that you do not enjoy at parties like this is the abundance of journalists, going around with their cameras flashing and asking annoying questions. You find it pointless, especially because of know it is done mostly for flaunting.

Jeonghan smiles brightly, tugging you closer to him with a hand on the small of your back. His fingertips brush against the bare skin on your back, leaving goosebumps in their wake. You try to put some distance between the two of you, but he keeps you close, grinning at the flashing camera.

A reporter asks you, “You are working against Attorney Yoon in a case right now. Could you tell us how it has been so far?”

“I think Attorney Yoon is a very competent lawyer. He is good at his job, like I am in mine.” You give a professional, practiced smile to the reporter.

“Wow,” Jeonghan raises a brow at you. “Such sweet words coming from you.”

The camera's flash and you smile while muttering under your breath. “If you believed them to be true, then you are not as good as you think you are, Lawyer Yoon.”

He simply chuckles and pulls you tighter against his body, posing for the cameras.

“Who do you think is going to win this case?” A reporter asks and you resist the urge to roll your eyes. What kind of a question is that?

Jeonghan takes over, replying playfully but also professionally. “To know that, you need to wait till next week. Now, if you will excuse us, gentlemen.” He ushers you away from the reporters and towards a comparatively secluded part of the backyard, right next to the conservatory.

“Can you let go of my hand?” You huff, trying to free yourself. Jeonghan finally stops and turns around, regarding you with mischief, his solid grip still on your wrist. “Why? I promise I don’t bite.”

“Ew,” you tug your hand free and take a few steps away from him. You smooth out your dress, muttering underneath your breath, “I was stuck with you in an elevator this week. Can’t believe I am seeing you again so quickly.”

He pouts. “Aw, come on. You’re hurting my feelings.”

“Right,” your lips form a sarcastic smile. “Like you have those.”

Jeonghan does not reply and you try to pretend he is not right next to you, instead looking at the large estate of Judge Beatrice’s mansion. From this vantage point, you can see everything: from the manicured gardens to the sweeping line of tables draped in white linen, flickering lanterns dotting the pathway, and the silhouette of the live band. The scent of night-blooming jasmine wafts through the air, and every now and then, bursts of laughter rise above the steady, gentle hum of chatter among the guests.

“This place is actually beautiful.” Jeonghan comments.

“Yeah, when you don’t have reporters chasing after you, it is.” You reply, watching the last hues of sunset blend into the night sky. Despite having your sworn enemy right next to you, you feel oddly peaceful, a sense of tranquility settling in your heart like the hush after a summer storm.

“I have always wanted to own a mansion like this.” You find yourself whispering. Jeonghan turns his head to look at you and you feel his steady gaze piercing holes in the side of your face. Unable to resist yourself any longer, you turn your head to look at him. “What?”

“Nothing,” he replies, voice laced with a foreign tenderness that feels melodic to your ears.

In the muted lights of the garden, his face appears lethally gorgeous and you are transported to that moment inside the elevator two days ago. The same feelings bubble up from deep within you, making your breaths short and heavy as you fight a battle against pressing your lips to his.

It feels like a losing battle.

He gently hums your name. Your proper name, not as your job title and the hairs on your neck stand up. Hearing your name from his mouth feels sinfully good, like a taboo and you are forced to meet his gaze.

With bated breath, you watch him come closer to you.

“Jeonghan,” the word falls from your lips like a plea, tentative yet needy, soft yet urgent. He inches even closer upon hearing the word, pressing his body snugly against yours, his hot breath fanning your face, only a few centimeters of space left between your lips and his.

His hand explores your body, caressing the back of your thigh before going upwards, resting a bit too long on your ass before slithering around your waist. As if you were not already close enough, he tugs you even closer and soft grunts your name once more, his eyes growing heavy-lidded as his gaze remains trained on your lips.

You can almost feel fireworks go off inside your body. You are feeling sensations and desires you have never felt before, and a tiny part of your brain raises alarm bells, but at this point, you are too gone to care. You can never go back to how it used to be with him after you cross this line.

Somehow, you find yourself being okay with that thought right now. You briefly wonder if it is all the drinks you had finally catching up to you.

Your hands that were frozen by your side until now finally relax, and you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him towards you and resting your forehead against his. Your body finds a place next to him so easily and gracefully, it’s like you have always been together. Like yin and yang.

He inhales sharply and utters your name, his voice heavy with desire.

You make up your mind in that moment.

Without wasting another breath, you pull his face towards you and kiss him, slowly at first but it changes into quick and desperate as Jeonghan’s hands cup your jaw and tilt your face up to get better access. He completely takes over the kiss and your body, pushing your back against the wall of the conservatory and kissing you like he had been wanting to do it for ages. It feels like he is a man starved and you are his beacon of light, the way his hand grips your waist and pulls you impossibly close while devouring your lips. His tongue is in your mouth, tasting every inch of you and it is absolutely glorious; a breathtaking combination of all of your wildest fantasies combined. It is hard, bruising and wanton, taking your breath away yet leaving you feeling a high unlike ever before.

When he finally pulls away, the two of you gasp for air, faces flushed with heat and sweat. His eyes stay locked with yours and you clearly see the desire pool in them like molten lava. You know for a fact that he sees the same in you. You hate Jeonghan, you truly do but you have never wanted a man as much as you want him.

So much so that when he starts tugging you with him, you don’t question him or protest. Silently, he pulls you towards the entrance of the conservatory. He tugs on the door, and it comes open, surprising you. With the door closed and away from the noise and the crowd, his lips find yours with ease even in the darkness. One of his lands feels the skin of your thigh underneath the slit of your dress, his fingers gripping and squeezing your flesh while his other hand holds your face, tracing the slopes and edges of your jaw and neck with his thumbs.

“Jeonghan,” you sigh, grabbing his hand and pulling it closer to your core. His fingers brush over your panties and you shudder, burying your face in his neck.

“You want my fingers here, sweetheart?” His voice is deep as he starts tracing his mouth from your jaw to your neck. You make a barely cohesive sound of agreement and then, baffling you, he slaps your pussy, hard. Your mouth hangs open in shock and mortification, the sting of his slap leaving behind a delicious tingle.

“Answer me,” he whispers next to your ear, nibbling on the skin below your earlobe. Another sigh of pleasure falls from your lips, your eyes falling closed at his ministrations. “Yes,” you whisper. 

“You have it.” He hisses and, in one smooth motion, he pulls your panties aside and thrusts two of his fingers inside you. You squeal, hands fisting his jacket tightly as his digits easily slip in due to your arousal. “Oh god.” You moan, eyes rolling back as you feel his fingers move in and out of you with ease, hitting the perfect spot each time. Paired with the movement of his fingers and the heated look he’s sending your way, you know you’re not very far from your release. You are so aroused it is embarrassing but by now, you have gone past the point of caring.

He speeds up the movement of his fingers and you squeak, “Fuck, Jeonghan. I’m gonna…”

He chuckles. “So quickly, sweetheart? Are my fingers that good?”

“Mhm,” you hum, squeezing your eyes shut, grabbing onto his body like he is your lifeline. Come then. Wet my fingers with your sweet juice,” His filthy words make you moan out loud involuntarily, his thumb brushing over your clit, rubbing it swiftly and sending you over the edge, face-first into your orgasm.

It shakes your limbs as you stand there pressed against his body, feeling it wash over you, your pussy spasming repeatedly while he keeps playing with you throughout your high. When you finally feel the last of your orgasm ebb away and your mind starts functioning again, Jeonghan pulls his fingers out of you, dripping in your essence and licks his digits clean, never wavering eye contact with you.

You shiver, whether from the intimate act or from the cold, you don’t know.

Jeonghan watches you silently, his eyes carefully taking in every detail of your face. You see his gaze shift in the dimly lit space, a slither of light coming from outside falling directly on his face, casting it in a heavenly glow and adding a new shine to his wet lips. For a moment, your mind blanks out, transfixed by his beauty and the hum of pleasure echoing through your body. When the beating of your heart finally slows down and the high of your release starts wearing off, a chill runs down your spine and you grow cold.

The realization of what you just did hits you like a ton of bricks and you freeze, staring at him blankly.

Fuck. That should not have happened. He is a walking, talking red flag and you just got dirty with him. Hell, you’re going up against him in court next week!

Fuck, fuck.

This is the man you lost to. This man is your sworn enemy. You should not have let him in.

Especially…especially because deep down in your heart, you feel something for him that is serious and sincere. Past all your history and professional war, you feel something for him and after tonight, you know it will only amplify.

You have no one to blame but yourself.

Jeonghan leans closer to you, the glint of mischief returning in his eyes. He opens his mouth to say something but in a moment of panic, you shove him away and hurriedly fix the strap of your dress.

“I need to leave,” you announce in a broken voice, pushing past him and scurrying out the door. You take the back exit, marching away from the party as fast as possible while trying to keep your tears at bay.

Silly, silly girl.

—

The sky is gloomy today, much like your mood.

You stand in the hallway of the courthouse, pensively gazing out the window, your body humming with nerves. After your encounter with Jeonghan, your weekend sucked. With the memory of that night branded in your brain, you ran around nonstop, trying to gather some solid evidence against Jun Gi. 

You wish you could have done better.

The sound of heavy footsteps steals your attention as you turn around to find Jeonghan walking towards you.

You freeze in your spot, your hands gripping your handbag in a deathly hold as he comes closer and closer.

“Hey, ____.” Your name casually rolls off his tongue and for a moment, you struggle to find your voice. He looks as gorgeous as ever with his hair slicked back and dressed in a fine black three-piece suit. His face, as usual, gives nothing away, radiating composure and ease.

He looks lethal and you hate it.

“About that night at the party,” You find yourself speaking. “I hope you forget that. I just had one too many drinks. That’s all.”

Jeonghan blinks, slowly registering your words. “Wait, are you saying that it was a mistake?”

You clench your teeth and scowl at him, “Yes.”

“Ha,” Jeonghan scoffs, his mouth parting in shock. He rakes a frustrated hand through his hair, disheveling the styled locks. “Fuck, really?”

“Yes,” you hiss. “And I hope you won’t bring that up ever again, Mr. Yoon.” You don’t wait for his reply, shooting a final glare at him before marching down the hallway. 

It was a mistake. It was a mistake. You keep chanting the words over and over again in your head, trying to believe them.

The effort is futile because you believe otherwise. To you, it meant more. Sure, it was a moment of weakness, a lapse in your judgment. However, over the weekend, upon reflection, you realized that you have feelings for the insufferable, egotistical man.

There is no room for those feelings right now.

You have a case to win. If you lose today, you will not only lose to Jeonghan for the second time but also a mother will lose her child.

So, no room for feelings.

— 

Your closing statement feels heavy on your tongue, especially when you see Mina’s glossy eyes directed at you, hopeful yet petrified and you feel the crushing guilt overtake your entire being. You should have done better.

The financial statements of her ex-husband are the only weapon you managed to secure. He’s a powerful man, meticulously guarded. Digging up dirt on him has been like searching for a needle in a haystack. The few precious pieces of footage you submitted, like glimpses of his reckless lifestyle, wild spending sprees, late-night parties with young women, and drinking until dawn, you hope, are enough to plant a seed of doubt. It’s not much, but it’s a spark of hope you hold onto, praying that it just might turn the tide in your favour. So, you go with that.

You take a deep breath. “Your Honour, the primary concern in this case is the well-being of the child. The father’s spending habits reveal a pattern of reckless prioritisation— purchasing luxury items and throwing expensive parties while neglecting his son’s care. Parenting requires more than financial security; it demands consistent presence and responsibility, which my client has consistently demonstrated.

Additionally, we cannot ignore the situation with the nanny, Jeanie. Initially willing to testify, she suddenly withdrew without explanation. It is a suspicious change that raises concerns about potential interference. This only reinforces the need for caution when considering the father’s ability to provide a stable environment. So I urge the court to grant primary custody to the mother, ensuring the child’s best interests are prioritized. Thank you.”

You do not find any power in you to look at the judge’s face or anyone’s in the courtroom. Silently, you pad over to your bench and sit down next to Mina, your eyes trained on the ground. One of her hands comes to rest on top of yours, giving you a gentle squeeze of reassurance. 

Judge Beatrice asks, “Defense counsel, your final statements, please.”

“Yes, your Honour,” Jeonghan responds, standing up and buttoning his jacket. “But before that, I would like to apologize for the unexpected request at this stage. Some new information has come to light that I believe is crucial to this case. With the court’s permission, I would like to call an additional witness, Ms. Jeanie Miller, the child’s nanny.”

Shocked and bewildered at his statement, your head snaps up. 

“There was no mention of having a witness at the stand today,” Judge Beatrice says flatly.

“I understand the unusual nature of this late request, but given the gravity of the custody decision, it is imperative that the court hears her testimony,” Jeonghan states firmly.

"Wait, what?" Gun Ji stands up from his seat beside Jeonghan, a look of panic on his face. "That...that's not necessary!" Jeonghan ignores him, calmly keeping his eyes focused on judge Beatrice.

She gives him a long, keen look. “Fine, bring her in.” 

—

“After thoroughly reviewing the evidence presented and carefully considering the testimonies, this court determines that the child’s best interests must take precedence. Therefore, the court rules that the primary physical and legal custody of the minor child be granted to the mother. The father shall be given reasonable visitation rights as determined by the parenting plan. Court is adjourned.” Judge Beatrice finishes. The sound of her striking the gavel echoes through the courtroom. Beside you, Mina yelps out, her voice full of glee and unshed tears as she jumps up before engulfing you in a hug. However, everything surrounding you has faded into the background as you keep staring at Jeonghan on the other side, his face composed and content even.

His eyes meet yours and he nods, giving you a soft, subtle smile that almost feels like a mirage.

Is this a dream?

You just won this case. You won against Yoon Jeonghan.

But why does it not feel like a victory at all?

He yielded. He brought Jeanie in court and had her testify against his client at the very last moment.

Why?

A bitter taste of betrayal is left in your mouth as you watch him ignore Jun Gi’s yelling. It feels like you did not earn the victory but rather, it was handed to you.

The feeling is sickening.

—

With everyone gone, the courtroom is empty now, except for you and Jeonghan.

Your files lay spread out on the table but you don’t bother arranging them. You should have been out of here by now, going on with your day and even make plans to celebrate your victory. For some reason, though, you could not leave.

You stand with your arms crossed and watch Jeonghan, his back facing you, as he arranges all his files and puts them in his briefcase one by one while talking over the phone.

“Yes, I can be there in an hour…Okay, see you then.” He hangs up and sets the phone down, tilting his head to glance at you. “Congratulations, Lawyer ___.”

His words sound like sarcasm.

“Why did you let me win, Jeonghan?” Your voice is flat.

He turns around and frowns. “What do you mean, 'let you win'?” 

“You know very well what I mean,” you sneer, stepping closer to him, your heels clicking loudly. “Why did you yield? You have never done that before, and you have represented far worse people. What, getting in my pants changed your mind? You thought I would let you hit if you let me have this case?”

His mouth falls open, his eyes widening in disbelief. 

“Answer me, asshole!”

“You are better than this,” he replies, his tone quiet but his gaze turbulent, a swirl of emotions shining in his pupils. “You know better than this.” He pauses before scrunching up his face. “Let me hit? What…How could you even say that? Sure, I am a scumbag but even for me that’s low. You know I respect you.”

“Do you? You hiss, getting up in his face. “Do you really, Mr. Money Talks? Since I have known you, you have never done something nice without an ulterior motive. Tell me, what was it this time?”

“I have had enough of this conversation,” he grunts, turning away to finish packing his belongings. 

“Oh, I am sure you have. Now that I have seen through your shit, I bet you’re done, you pathetic asshole.”

He does not make a sound as he finishes packing, the sound of his briefcase shutting leaving an echoing boom in the thick, looming silence. Without acknowledging your presence, he starts walking away and you scoff in utter disbelief. His quiet footsteps echo through the courtroom, leaving behind a sense of emptiness and rage inside you that you don't know how to grapple with.

When he is almost at the door, he turns around and stares at you blankly. “For what it is worth, I really do respect you.”

The door slams quietly behind him.

—

1 week later

You stroll through the bustling streets of late-night Seoul, the faint hum of traffic mixing with the distant chatter of people at the little roadside shops, drinking with their friends. The air is slightly chilly, but comfortable, just enough to make you pull your coat a little tighter around you. 

It has been a week since your victory. Throughout the week, you have waited for that feeling of accomplishment to come to you, the sense that will force you to look on the bright side. It has not come. 

Victory should feel sweeter than this. You won the case, defending your client with everything you had. Yet, as you weave through the crowd, your thoughts keep drifting back to him— Jeonghan. You can’t help it. You keep revisiting your last interaction with him; that pained look in his eyes and the quiet depth of his words. It gave you a glimpse of a Jeonghan you never saw before, one you thought did not exist— one who has a heart.

You tell yourself it’s just the lingering adrenaline of a hard-fought case, but it bothers you more than you’d like to admit. So much so that you feel tempted to pick up your phone and just call him.

“____!” A sudden loud voice makes you jolt as you stop on the pavement and look around. You spot Kai, a law school friend and Jeonghan's colleague, sitting at one of the roadside restaurants, holding a bottle of soju with one hand and waving at you with the other.

You smile and walk over to him.

“Sit. Have a drink. It has been a while since we had a chat,” he smiles, offering you a seat. You grab a blue plastic tool and sit, eyeing the empty shot glass and some leftover food on a plate next to him. You tease him, “What? Got ditched by your date?” 

He snorts, pouring you a shot. “By date, if you mean Jeonghan, then yeah, sure.”

Your ears perk and you sit up straight. “Jeonghan was here?”

He hums, pushing a glass towards you. “Yep, he just left.” He downs a shot and makes a noise of satisfaction. “This guy, I swear to god. He’s been weird all week. Right after the hearing on Thursday, Jun Gi stormed into the office, calling him a traitor and whatnot. Jeonghan didn’t even flinch. Just sat there, cool as always.” He pauses to take a sip of his drink. “At some point, the guy shoved him. And, get this— Jeonghan threw a punch. Didn’t even hesitate. I swear I’ve never seen him like that. Gave Jun Gi a black eye and then kicked him out the door in front of everyone. Insane, right?”

Holy shit. You gape at Kai. “Jeonghan... hit him? His client?”

“Ex client, but yeah, he did. He never loses his cool like that, you know. I tried talking to him, but he just shrugged it off. I think this case messed with his head. Not like him to get that... involved.” You sit on the rickety plastic stool, stunned. The nagging in your brain finally becomes too much to ignore and you ask, “Did he say where he was going?" “Jeonghan? He’ll probably catch the bus. You know the stop two blocks down that runs till midnight.”

Your heart starts racing. “Thanks, Kai,” you murmur, quickly chugging a shot down before hurrying down the sidewalk. You pick up your pace, the chill of the night air pushing you forward despite the uncomfortable feeling of your heels digging into your feet. You don’t know what you’ll say to Jeonghan when you find him— you just know you have to.

You start running at full speed, pushing through the busy sidewalk and murmuring apologies to the people you bump into. The bus stop comes into view, fairly empty, and your heart stops, realizing you missed Jeonghan. However, a second later, your view gets clearer and you spot the man standing there with a cigarette between his lips, his jacket slung over his shoulders as he looks around with boredom.

“You!” You charge at him, yelling. “You! Explain. What really happened that day? Why did you change your mind?” You pant, catching your breath when you finally stop in front of him.

Jeonghan, busy blowing out a thin stream of smoke, whips his head upon hearing your voice, shock flashing in his gaze. His half-lidded eyes widen, before he frowns, “What the hell are you doing here?’’

“Answer me, Jeonghan.” You glare at him, still gasping for air. “What happened that day in court?” He keeps staring at you with keen eyes that make you feel like he can see through you, reading your innermost thoughts. He takes a drag of his cigarette before speaking, his voice smooth as always. “Since you're so curious...I did my duty at first, you know. I believed my client. That’s what a lawyer does…even when everything else tells you your client is a bastard.” “But you knew that from the very beginning. You knew he wasn’t fit to take care of his son. You don’t just flip like that. What made you change your mind?”

Jeonghan pauses, rolling the cigarette between his fingers, his gaze trained on the poison stick thoughtfully. “Look, I’ve defended plenty of rich idiots. Comes with the job. But this one... he just slipped up.” You raise a brow. “Slipped up?”

He smirks, but rather than the usual cockiness, there’s a shadow behind it that leaves you wondering. “Let’s just say I overheard him running his mouth on the phone. Something about how he didn’t really care about the kid. He just didn’t want to ‘lose’ to his ex-wife. Didn’t matter if his kid hated him. As long as he came out on top, he was happy.”

You frown, processing the information. Jeonghan flicks the ash off his cigarette, his tone a bit sharper now. “Turns out our model father also bribed the nanny to keep her mouth shut. When I got her alone and told her I’d keep her safe if she talked... well, a lot more things came into light.”

You hold your breath. “Was he…abusing him?”

Jeonghan huffs out. “Let me know if Mina wants to file a case against him. I have enough evidence to make her win.”

Fuck. You sigh, your gaze trained on the gravel of the pavement. “So that’s why you went against your client.”

Jeonghan scoffs lightly, still not looking directly at you. “Don’t make it sound noble. It was just bad strategy to keep lying when the truth was that obvious.”

You fold your arms and narrow your eyes at him. “You’re not that selfless. You don’t just risk your reputation for a lost cause.” Jeonghan remains silent for a beat, his jaw tightening before he finally looks at you, something unguarded flashing in his eyes. “Let’s just say... I’ve seen that look before. In that kid. Eyes that don’t know whether to hate or hold on because neither makes sense when your old man never really gave a damn. Figured I didn’t want to see another kid grow up wondering why he wasn’t enough.” He shrugs, as if it’s nothing, but the hint of vulnerability lingers. You catch it— just a flicker before his usual cocky smirk slides back into place. “Jeonghan…” “Don’t get all sentimental on me now. The kid just deserved better. That’s all.”

He takes one last drag of his cigarette and flicks it to the ground, crushing it under his heel as you silently watch him. The tension between you lingers, charged and unresolved. You want to say a lot of things to him, but you don’t know where to start. It feels like a cactus is lodged in your throat, pricking at your skin every time a word manifests on your tongue.

“I’m sorry!” You blurt out. Jeonghan’s head turns towards you slowly, his eyes blown out like he just saw Santa Claus flying through the sky. 

“I’m sorry, what?” He gapes.

You bite your lip. “I… am sorry. For the things I said that day. For…I don’t know…Everything, I guess.”

He keeps staring at you like you have grown two heads and you drawl out a groan. “Can you not stare at me like that?”

“I am…lost for words.”

You try to make a joke. “Wow, very unlike Yoon Jeonghan to be left speechless.”

“You tend to do that to me,” he murmurs so softly as if he did not want you to hear it but you do, and your heart starts drumming loudly in your ears. His eyes never stray from you as he flicks the cigarette to the ground before crushing it with the heel of his shoe.

Then, he takes a step towards you.

You don’t step back, looking up at his eyes, slightly breathless. His eyes shine, mirroring the lights of late-night Seoul and something deeper, something foreign. It is a look you have never seen before that fills you with hope and joy.

Jeonghan’s hand reaches for yours, his fingertips ever so slightly tracing the lengths of your fingers and your knuckles, giving you goosebumps.

“Your words really hurt that day, you know,” he murmurs, the look in his eyes deeply intimate. He comes even closer to you and you love it. You love having him in your personal space, feeling the warmth radiating off him, the smell of his cologne and cigarette mixing into an addictive scent. “But, now that you are looking at me like that, with those beautiful eyes of yours,” he pauses, tantalizingly slowly linking his fingers with yours. His tone is serious but also contains a softness that makes heat pool in your belly, “I have no choice but to forgive you.”

You make a broken sound of acknowledgement. Too busy trying to get your heart to calm down. You feel like a giddy teenager, ready to have your first kiss.

And boy, do you want to kiss him.

“But,” he pauses and you hold your breath. “When you say you’re sorry for the things you said that day…does it also include that?”

“What?” You blink.

“You said it was a mistake. Are you sorry for saying that?”

Your breath stops. You gaze into his eyes, deep, dark pools of honey and you feel a sense of vulnerability grow in you. Unconsciously, you hold his hand tighter when you whisper, “Jeonghan?”

“Hm?” He leans closer to you and it physically hurts not to kiss him.

“That night…was it a mistake for you?”

He remains silent, looking at you unblinking. His eyes search your face for something you don’t understand.

“No, it was not, ____.” He says quietly but the conviction in his voice is louder than anything. “I meant every word I said that night and I do not regret having my fingers deep inside your cunt. In fact, I crave to do it again.” Only Jeonghan can say something so filthy with so much emotion. Your breath stutters and heat blooms all over your skin as you fight to swallow the lump in your throat.

“Me too,” you whisper, hypnotized by his gaze. “It was not a mistake. I am sorry I said it was.”

The look in his eyes instantly darkens. His free hand snakes around your waist, pulling your body tight against his. Your arms find home around his neck and your eyes trail to his lips before you whisper, “I want to kiss you, Jeonghan.”

“What’s holding you back?”

Nothing.

You lean upwards just slightly and press your lips to his. His arms engulf you, pulling you in deeper into the kiss. It is perfect, it is magical. The taste of cigarette in his tongue, the caress of his thumb on your lower back, the feeling of his warmth encompassing you whole— it is all perfect.

The signature cocky smile is back on his lips when you break the kiss, that familiar mischief twinkling in his eyes. You cannot help but smile. 

“Wow, Lawyer ____.” He is grinning. “Does this mean you’re my girlfriend now?”

You feel giddy.

“Not so fast, Counselor. At least take me on a date first.” You tease, adjusting his collars. He leans down to come to your eye level. “How about this? You come home with me tonight and stay over. In the morning, I’ll take you out for breakfast. In fact, we will spend the whole day outside.”

“Sounds like a date,” you mumble, looking into his eyes.

“Yes, it is.” He hums, leaning back. His hand finds yours and interlocking your fingers, he starts walking. 

“You’re not going to take the bus?” You ask, trailing after him. He has that incredulous, love-struck smile on his face. “Nah. I feel like walking with you. What do you say? Shall we take the long road?”

You grin. “Yes.”

© startlightxsvt 2025 | All Rights Reserved. Do not copy, translate, adapt, or repurpose any of my works.

This fanfiction is cross-posted on AO3. Please show me some support over there as I recently opened my account!

A/N: what was originally a 6k word fic turned out to be almost 10k. whew! i feel like i wrote another fic set in sibilance universe unintentionally. bc Jeonghan was a lawyer over there too?? anyway, i hope this was an enjoyable read. i'd love to hear your thoughts so do comment or drop an ask! as always, please like and reblog! toodles!<3

[cherriicou]

I just read both of your works on older bf! scoups and mingyu and I just want to say, that they are one of the best things that i have seen.

Could you do one with jeonghan? Thank you!!

older bf!/teacher jeonghan x college student! reader

a/n; thank u!! these are so fun to make :3 // word count; 1.2K

content; teacher/student relationship, age gap, fingering, jealousy/possessiveness, degradation, hair pulling, praise kink, oral sex (f), pet names, voyerism, exhibitionism, somnophilia, masturbating, dirty talk, classroom sex (srry :>), overstimulation, cock warming, smut with very little plot

MDNI 18+ under cut

OLDER BF! JEONGHAN who first met you in his class. it was his 5th year teaching, and he hadn't had any distractions until you came along. it was like you had a crush on him since the start. batting your eyelashes during lectures, giggling with your friends when he called on you, asking questions after class that he knew you didn't need help in. you were a smart girl, only a childish one who wanted to flirt with her older professor.

OLDER BF! JEONGHAN who decides to play into your little crush. winking at you secretly while walking past the aisles, bending farther down to get close to your face when you asked for help, brushing his hand across your fingers to pick up your pencil, all making you think he had an interest in you, too. all your friends fed into your delusions saying 'he wants you,' 'just go ask him out,' after seeing the way you two look at each other; eyes mirroring desire.

OLDER BF! JEONGHAN who was a bit shocked at your sudden boldness. you just asked him out after class when all the students left, staring at your hands that were trembling as you waited for his response. he let out a breathy laugh, 'thought i'd be the one to ask,' he lifts your head up with his finger. while your face was red and probably sweaty, he had a cocky smile on and you could just feel the sense of dominance he was taking over you.

OLDER BF! JEONGHAN who drives a crazy expensive car. he picks you up from your apartment and takes you to dinner at a rooftop restaurant. and god, a tease is a literal understatement of how many jokes this man has made about your shy behavior. 'wow, you must've really wanted me,' making fun of how eager you were to ask him out within the second week of classes. but he liked knowing the effect he had on you, knowing how easy it'll be to have you beg for him... and that's what he did that night.

OLDER BF! JEONGHAN who loves to hear you begging. 'hannie, m-more,' he smiles at you while barely adding in a second finger. you couldn't take it anymore, he had been messing with your pussy for a while. kissing your inner thighs and only cutely sucking on your clit. fuck, he had such long, slender fingers that were reaching spots that your own couldn't ever reach. ‘please, please,’ his eyes devouring the look of your body being in shambles, he knew you were so close. 'aw baby, look how much you're whining when i hit this spot,' and that's when you cum, moans spilling out of your mouth as he continues fucking you through it. you didn’t even realize how close your orgasm was until he added his mouth while continuing to ram his fingerings in your sensitive cunt :< your mind almost goes blank until you see him take his dick out that was leaking with pre-cum from torturing you, and you knew you needed more of him.

OLDER BF! JEONGHAN who makes you touch yourself in front of him. he’ll sit back on a chair across the bed near the wall, manspreading with his arms crossed. your body is sprawled on the bed, your knees bent while you shamelessly run your fingers against your folds. ‘come on, baby,’ your body shudders to his voice, ‘show me how slutty you can be,’ you can tell how turned on he is from this. the bulge in his pants growing while he hears your whimpers. your own fingers playing with your clit, inserting them into your hole to tease yourself. ‘jeonghannie, fuck,’ your hips start to rock on your own fingers, your other hand messing with your tits, grabbing them and moaning like a literal porn star. jeonghan loves it, it’s like his own movie. he doesn’t let you continue this for long though, before he’s already replacing your fingers with his to finish the job for you <3

OLDER BF! JEONGHAN needs you to cockwarm him while he works. come onnn, why can’t he have his pretty little gf help him let loose as he does a dozen of paperwork :< you hate it, for the obvious reason being you weren’t allowed to move. but, jeonghan saw it as a way to keep him company! he loved how you smelled, your voice, your playful hands in his hair, ‘you’re doing so good for me, princess,’ he pats your hair, sliding his hand down all the way toward your lower back. he couldn’t help messing with you a tiny bit, his playful nature taking over. you let out a breathy laugh while trying so hard to keep still for him. you couldn’t distract him, that would make you a bad student and a bad girlfriend..

OLDER BF! JEONGHAN who is a big fan of morning sex. he wakes up to a cute expression on your face… lips separated softly, hair messy, eyelashes fluttering at times like you were having a sweet dream <3 it was like you were made for him to admire. but then, oh he just loves to slip down beneath you. spreading your plush thighs so your pussy was exposed to him, smirking as he sees all the previous marks from before. he always leave kisses down your thighs, awake or not. then once he reaches your cunt, he dives straight in, first leaving tiny licks while his sharp nose brushes against your clit. he looks up at you to see your eyebrows scrunched up, mouth the slightest open. he sees it as a signal to keep going. his tongue continues to flick up and down; his head simultaneously nodding, shaking, and jerking in each direction, he fucking loved how you tasted. ‘a-ah,’ your hand latches onto your boyfriends hair instinctively, he lets out a groan as your sweet moans encouraging him to keep going. ‘good morning, princess,’ he detaches himself for a bit to give you a warm smile. you shiver at the sight, his mouth completely covered in your silk with sleepy, hungry eyes.

OLDER BF! JEONGHAN who has a hate/love relationship with your sense of style. he knows you choose the days you attended his class to wear the most shortest dresses, the most skimpiest tops. and he adored it, really, he found it adorable. however, that didn't stop other men from looking at you lustfully. and he hated that. he hated how they thought they had a single chance with you, his precious doll. and you, only having eyes for him, don’t even notice their disgusting stares. but he has to deal with it. deal with them tapping on your shoulder to ask for a pencil just to get a glimpse of your cleavage, making obnoxiously loud jokes in hopes to hear your giggle. that won’t do… so after class, he immediately tells you to stay. eyes glaring at the guys while he stood dangerously close to you, you completely unaware of what’s going to happen.

OLDER BF! JEONGHAN who as soon as everyone is gone, you're completely bent over the desk you were just sitting at. hair pulled into his fist, panties just pulled to the side as he rams into you from the back. 'my little whore, tell me,' his hand lands right on your ass, 'you liked the attention those guys gave you?' you can't even speak from how hard he's pushing into you, walls clenching on his cock making it almost impossible to make out words. his hand lands harder on your ass, a literal scream coming out of your throat. 'n-no, never,' you plead to him, but he only coos at you, flipping you so you're on your back, and he can see your pleasured face with his own eyes.

OLDER BF! JEONGHAN who locks eyes with one of the boys who was bothering you. he was peeking into the class from the door upstairs after hearing your lewd noises. ‘fuck, gripping on me like a slut, princess,’ making sure to speak extra loud for the guy to hear. you gasp as he starts to play with clit, still abusing your fragile body that was making a mess all over him and the floor. your moans only growing louder when you feel yourself close to cumming, satisfying his ego when he sees the boy gone. he doesn’t care if he completely traumatized him.. go ahead tell your friends! and they never bothered you again :3

[esokali]

              ☆ ride the d!ck like a carnival . . ! ft. jeonghan.

☆ content. jeonghan x fem! reader. just jeonghan satiating his needs in backseat of your car. ☆ tags. unprotected sex, riding, semi-public sex? menace jeonghan, creampie, nipple stimulation. ☆ wc. 0.7k+

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT ! MINORS DO NOT INTERACT !

“i hate–hngh–you!” 

a light giggle falls out of his lips at your words. because your actions say the opposite. you sink down, engulfing his entire length with your heat before lifting your hips again. you’re riding him with all that you’ve got while jeonghan’s simply enjoying the show. 

“aw, you do?” a faux pout forms on his lips, hiding his lazy smirk. lust and enamour swirls in his eyes and god, he’s looking at you with those fuck me eyes. of course, you can’t resist him, “no, no. i don’t mean it.”

“i know, baby.” he slides his hands down to your ass, groping them harshly with a smack or two. a soft sigh leaves his chest as he leans back on the backseat of your car. desperation and annoyance fills you again. 

what was supposed to be a cute brunch date ended up in you riding his cock in your car like your life depended on it. and that most infuriating part is how jeonghan is simply watching you without helping. he’s so relaxed while you’re fighting for your life on his cock. 

he knows it. he knows that you’re annoyed and horny. even though he’s the one that slipped his hands up your dress, you’re the one satiating him. unfortunately for you, jeonghan gets all hard and twitchy when you’re mad and frustrated during sex.

he strokes your waist, fingers fluttering against your sensitive spots. the tickling sensation causes you to lose your sense of rhythm. he pushes your dress up further, shifting his gaze towards where your bodies are connected. your cunt hugs his length with a grip that makes him breathless. 

beads of sweat run down the side of your face. your hair is all ruined, makeup smudged and dress creased, thanks to the courtesy of your boyfriend. your walls flutter around his cock, sending shivers down his spine. 

jeonghan goes cross-eyed when he notices your hard nipples poking through the thin material of your dress. he hooks his finger under the sweetheart neckline, pulling down the cloth till your breasts pop out. your breasts bounce right in front of his face, tempting him to wrap his lips around your pebbled nipples. 

you let out a soft gasp, feeling his warm mouth around your sensitive bud. his tongue circles the bud, feeling the ridges of your areola. he flicks the bud gently, and sucks on it. you grind your hips harder, chasing the release you so badly want. 

his hand travels down your stomach to your cunt. you reach your breaking point when his fingers brush against your clit, soft enough to rile you up but not hard enough to satiate you. 

your hands fly to grab his hair as you gyrate your hips with a newfound desperation. it elicits a groan from him, delighted from the slight pain of you pulling his hair. your other hand wraps around his throat, squeezing the sides ever-so-lightly. jeonghan smiles—he fucking smiles. 

“you’re so hot when you’re mad, babe.” 

you rock your hips harder, pushing out the energy you have left in your body. the car rocks in sync with your rhythm. anyone who walks past can figure out what you’re up to in a single glance. but that doesn’t stop you from fucking him harder and harder. 

a string of curses falls from his lips. he moans unabashedly, wordlessly letting you know he’s nearing his climax. you quicken your pace with the energy you have left. he squeezes your hips, face scrunching with pleasure. a needy look graces his eyes. 

an evil thought conjures up in your mind. you can stop now, leaving him high and dry. a lick back for all times he was mean to you. 

but you can’t. even if your mind tells you to stop, your body won’t. and the needy look in his eyes sets your body on fire. he’s looking at you as if you hung all the stars in the sky. his face tints red, mouth forming a perfect ‘o’ as he moans to his heart’s content. 

his cock flutters inside you, hips bucking into yours. he’s close. with another harsh thrust, you stop. he cums in an instant, white strings of release flooding your cunt. you kiss his forehead, looking down at him with adoration. 

his hips still move against yours, trying to ride out his high. he moans rather cutely, grinding against you as his cum slowly drips down from your hole. 

“i can’t believe you made me ride you in the car at fucking 11 in the morning,” you mutter, breathlessly. “and i didn’t even cum!” 

you try to hit his shoulder but he catches your wrist, looking at you with the same unsatiated lust. “who said we’re done?” 

[97latte]

older bf!jeonghan

warnings: lowkey controlling older jeonghan, unprotected p in v (don’t!!), swearing, hint of corruption and breeding kink, reader is v v babied (jeonghan sometimes speaks in 3rd person), mdni!!!

➼ jeonghan is in love with his cute little toy he can play with

➼ in the beginning of your relationship, after dropping you off at your part-time job, he’d sit in the car and just watch you (and the other men you work with) for HOURS

➼ his excuse for that is he wants you to be safe 😇

➼ he likes to spoil you and i mean SPOIL you

➼ you mentioned wanting a new bag in passing a week ago, and you got home to it sitting on your couch in the living room

➼ he loves to also baby you

➼ you’re his little baby who needs taken care of

➼ you mess up at work/hurt yourself/spill something/don’t feel well? he’d coo at you and take care of you, little “aigoo”’s spilling past his lips

➼ would continuously be touching your skin

➼ whether’s it’s sexual or not, he’s touching and squeezing your cheek, thumb caressing your thigh, hand tangled in your hair, thumb pressing down on your hole as he intensely watches the juice that immediately coats his thumb

➼ he likes to make sure you’ve eaten, ordering food and/or heating up left overs as soon as you express that you’re hungry

➼ expect your favourite drink to either be on your bedside table or at your workplace first thing in the morning

➼ he’d jump at any occasion to be with you…lazy jeonghan? who’s that?

➼ he also likes to wash your hair, wash your back, even offering to massage you in the bathtub

➼ jeonghan dries your hair when you get out of the shower, and knows your skincare routine step-by-step too!!

bonus:

➼ jeonghan is such a hole inspector…

➼ would just spread you open on the bed, hands firm on your thighs as you whine and squirm to close them

➼ “mm..your hole is so cute and tiny baby”

➼ “do you think your cute little hole can fit hannie?”

➼ you’d nod your head so fast you see stars

➼ “hmmm i don’t know if you can…”

➼ you were used to this exchange and teasing now, but a whine still escaped your lips

➼ “aigoo..is my baby all pouty now? let me make you feel good then..”

➼ absolutely would talk to you and coo at you while being balls deep in you

➼ when you try to respond, he’d snap his hip back into you just so he can make fun of how you can’t talk

➼ knows how to make you cum. like KNOWS how to make you cum.

➼ he knows the right speed and the right amount of pressure to apply to your cute little clit that has you arching your back and moaning his name

➼ likes to edge you too. this mfer is mean!!

➼ expect your orgasm to take you to another dimension when he lets you cum after torturing your hole

➼ isn’t the biggest sub but wouldn’t mind you being on top every now and then

➼ would be so proud of you when you grind your hip just the way he likes it because HE taught you that!!!

➼ “awww my little baby…you make me feel so good”

➼ “you’re doing so good baby”

➼ this man changes personalities when he’s about to cum though…

➼ one hand holding your wrists by your chest, the other hand grabbing your hip

➼ he’d fuck into you mercilessly, his sweet persona slipping

➼ your uncontrollable moans would fall from your lips, as you made eye contact with his eyes that were much darker now - pupils fully dilated, sweat dripping down his forehead

➼ “shhh..baby, fucking take it. i know you can take it”

➼ “you want me to cum in this sweet little pussy of yours? want hannie to breed you?”

[honeykiisss]

tears

yoon jeonghan from seventeen <3 "I get wet at the thought of you, being a responsible guy. treating me like you're supposed to do. tears run down my thighs." track 2 of the man's best friend series found here

after a spree of failed first dates, y/n didn't have any high hopes. until she says yes to a blind date set up by her best friend who actually found better than she could imagine... her old high school crush. who is still gorgeous, charming & most importantly so respectful. a true man of service.

word count: 6.4k

warnings: smut with a lil plot !!, slight voyeurism, a tiny bit of pet play, sir kink, jeonghan is possessive & loves leaving marks everywhere on reader's body, overstimulation, creampie, fingering, oral (f & m receiving), p in v, no protection being used (pls wrap it), 69ing, cum tasting, missionary, reader has a pain kink, jeonghan is a biter & muncher, multiple orgasms ... like a lot

You stand alone outside a restaurant way too fancy and out of your price range, on the phone with your best friend, your other hand rubbing your bare arms from how cold it was. You had to make sure this was the right place. It adds up why she made you wear the fancy black cocktail dress with a slit on your leg that was saved for special occasions, but who in the world did your best friend know to afford such a place. You can't think of any.

"I promise you, it is the right place." she reassured for the fifth time.

"Oh my god... It's a sugar daddy, you set me up with an old man." you gasped, she laughs at the other end.

"No, I did not. Believe me Y/N. Just go inside and have a fun time, I swear he's a good guy. Reservation is under Yoon. Now go please. You're already late" She basically begs.

With that tone, you roll your eyes and bid your goodbye as you hear your friend cheer on the phone. You wonder why the reservation is under her last name, I guess she booked it for you both. How sweet.

When you enter the restaurant, it's loud and bustling. You sigh in relief that the place was at least warm, heaters blasting compared to outside. A man in a suit greets you with a book in his hand.

"Reservation?" He asks.

"Under Yoon." You reply and he scans down the book with a nod.

"Follow me"

You follow closely behind him, making sure to avoid the waiters who had food or drinks in their silver plated hands. In the corner is a man playing a grand piano and a woman playing a cello besides him, this was for sure the fanciest first date you've ever been on.

"Here is your table ma'am" The host announces. They move out the way so you could see who you were set up with for the night.

You gasp.

"Jeonghan?!" Your shocked voice rang through. He smiles at you then waves a hand at the host to tell him it's not needed to pull out your chair because you watch Jeonghan stand up and do it himself.

"Your seat Y/N" Jeonghan says.

You blush, not a lot of your first dates pull your chair out for you either. Especially when another (paid) person was already going to do so. You take your seat as he pushes it in and thanks the host, then takes the seat across from you. He shows no expression of being shocked as you currently are, like he knew it was going to be you on this date while you obviously did not. Now the reservation being under your best friend's last name makes sense.

Because your best friend, has just set you up on a blind date with her cousin. Her cousin that you had a huge crush on since the day you laid eyes on him.

You and your best friend have been in each other's lives since the very first day of high school, both entering a new school and finding comfort within each other that never became astray. You two were so close to the hip that you both had many sleepovers and attended each other's family events and this is where you met, your first ever crush that wasn't a celebrity (until later). Yoon Jeonghan.

It was just a silly crush that your best friend liked to tease you about. Nothing serious especially because of his celebrity status but he was nice, funny and out of this world beautiful. Everyone could see it, his charm oozed out of him and you were a part of the crowd that fell for it. You never told him, neither did your best friend because what was the point? You kept your cool around him until the night ended and you were in your best friend's bedroom fangirling as she teased you.

Your meetings with him were because of your attachment to your best friend, the attachment causing you two to be intertwined and easily part of each other's families. So it made you believe he probably looked at you like family as well (or so you thought). You hadn't seen Jeonghan in years though, with the rise of Seventeen and their busy schedule. His attendance for family events became less and less. With his absence and growing up in general, your first ever crush faded. Up until now.

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊

You've never had such a fun time for a first date. Usually experiencing awkward first level getting to know each others; instead the fancy meals and shared desserts were long gone as you both laughed and conversed over nostalgic stories of the past and getting to know each other deeply on a new adult level instead of the two young kids you both were. With the second bottle of wine now being completed as he poured it into your glass, the once bustling restaurant only had the two of you and one other couple further away. The piano man and cello woman in the corner long gone.

You took another gulp, you were tipsy, almost to the brink of drunk and it was getting pretty obvious just by the heat on your face and the fact you were ready to ask the one question that's been on your mind the whole time.

"So, Mr Yoon Jeonghan" you proclaim.

"Yes, Miss Y/Full/N" he replies back, you smile.

"Can I ask how this was set up? You didn't seem as shocked to see me like I was seeing you." You finally ask.

"Ah.. Well, you know how it was Uncle's birthday at your best friend's house last weekend? Yeah I was there, finally had free time to see the family and I guess my disappointment for your absence was so noticeable that your best friend couldn't stop poking at it and I admitted it. I wanted to see you." Jeonghan explained.

He laughed at your shocked expression, though it was clearly too late you still wanted to remain cool, mysterious and sexy. You grabbed your wine glass and leaned back on your chair with a smirk. Legs crossing over the other.

"So someone missed me?" You teased.

"I mean yeah, who else can I say all those silly jokes to and I would receive a pretty laugh and even prettier smile back." He says, so nonchalant like your face wasn't going to get any redder.

Before you could say anything else, the same man who sat you at your table stands in front of you both.

"I'm very sorry but I must walk you two out now as we are closing." He apologies and gestures to the restaurant around you two where the other waiters are now sweeping. You gasp realising the overstay.

"Yes, yes! Of course I'm so sorry!" You get up quickly and watch as Jeonghan apologies as well. Both of you, at the same time grabbing your own wine glasses to gulp the last bit of red wine and seeing how red face but synchronised the two of you were made both of you laugh.

While following the man out the door, you see Jeonghan send a quick text and place his phone in his pocket. Once you're out of the restaurant with another thanks and apologies to the worker who shuts the door behind you two, your whole body shakes at the cold. Jeonghan seeing this quickly takes off his own jacket and wraps it around you.

"Oh stop! Now you're cold!" you almost shout as you attempt to take it off.

"I'm wearing a long sleeve and you're sleeveless, the car and my driver should be coming around soon as well. Would you like me to take you home?" He asks and explains.

You shake your head as a no, "I don't want to intrude, I can call an uber." You reply, going to unzip your purse to grab your phone.

Then a nice, sleek black car stops in front of you two. Jeonghan grabs your hand that was about to open your purse and leads you to the car, opening the back door for you and gesturing to get in.

"Please. It's for my comfort to see you get home safely." He continues to insist and you finally give in, getting in the car as he shuts the car door behind you while going around the other side. When Jeonghan is sat next to you in the backseat, the middle seat separating you two. You give the driver your address as the drive to yours starts.

"This is Minjun by the way, he's Seventeen's driver when we drink too much but drove there. Our company insisted that it was too risky to use the designated driver services restaurants have or taxis so the company has its own for us." He explained, you see Minjun nod through the mirror as a hello and you do the same back.

"So this is your car?" you ask, looking around slightly. It was an expensive car for sure and Jeonghan takes care of it well.

"Yeah it is, it's like my baby. Just sucks I barely get to use it though." He says with a scratch to the back of his neck.

"Did you use it to drive to the family party?" You ask and he nods.

"I had to give the family the whole tour and yet, the person I wanted to impress the most wasn't even there." He confesses and you blush knowing he meant you.

"Jeonghan, I liked you when you were still a teenager with that bob cut that reminded me of young Justin Bieber. You don't need to do much to impress me." You ramble, but as you turn your head to look at him. It was the first time the whole night he looked shocked.

You were confused. "Oh as if you didn't know, it was so obvious!" you insist and he only shook his head as a no.

"You liked me all the way back then?" He almost shrikes.

"From the very first day I met you. You were like, my first ever crush" you confessed with a hint of confusion in your tone. Your best friend obviously noticed and so did her parents, so as embarrassing as it was, you thought he knew too.

Before Jeonghan could respond, Minjun from the driver seat coughs. You look out the window and see your home, you reach out to open the door.

"Wait, let me get the door for you." Jeonghan says as he opens his own door and walks over to open yours. Reaching a hand for you to grab as you still wear his jacket. He shuts the door behind you when you stand and both of you walk to your front door. Still hand in hand.

"Thank you for tonight... Did you want to..." You stammer out, gesturing to the door but he only smiles and nods a no.

"I think we both had too much to drink angel, I wouldn't want to take advantage of you at all." Jeonghan reassures while using his thumb to stroke your hand.

The way he said it, the overall respect and care for you while realising this was the first date in ages that clearly didn't just want to get in your pants to the point they deny an invitation (and you don't give it out a lot). You felt weak, almost like the young teenager who saw Jeonghan for the first time.

"Can I kiss you though?" Jeonghan suddenly asks, you snap out of your daze with a nod. Maybe a bit too eager but he didn't care and quickly brings you in close with one arm around your waist and a hand on the side of your neck to kiss you.

Oh teenager you could never imagine this happening, and even if you did, it would not be nowhere near as magical as this felt. The way both your lips moved made all the most sense, Jeonghan was a good fucking kisser and the red wine only added so much more to it. The kiss was reaching making out territory and you knew it, so you pressed your body into Jeonghan to signal how badly you wanted him right there. It made him seperate the kiss with an aching sigh, leaning his forehead onto yours as both of you caught your breaths.

"Baby, if we keep going I'm going to accept your invitation and I can't with how much I like you. I need to see you again. Soon." He whispers with a hint of desperation.

You felt the exact same way.

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊

Needing the opinion of the person you trusted the most, you stand taking mirror pictures of yourself in black lingerie and hoping it does your body justice. You were getting ready for your second date with Jeonghan, the constant texting for the last two weeks made you more excited for the night to come. Especially the texts that were on the brink of sexting. The attraction from the both of you were undeniable and it would be a straight up lie to say that you haven't gotten yourself off to the thought of him. Which made you feel so dirty with how respectful Jeonghan has been to you the whole time. With the haze of excitement, you finally send the mirror pictures to your best friend.

5:20pm : ok ik this is weird to ask bc hes your cousin but is this hot enough? might not happen but maybe being prepared will manifest it to happen tonight #needhim 2 images attached

You place your phone down and put on the black dress you had prepared, this time a mini body con dress still appropriate for a fancy dinner. The choice of black once again was your remembrance of him slipping that black was a good colour on you, hence why the black lingerie as well. When you hear your phone alert you of a text, you run quickly to answer it after finally successfully zipping your dress up.

5:25pm : from yoon jeonghan I'm not (your best friend name) but that is more than hot enough.

Your eyes grew wide, oh there's no fucking way you did that.

5:26pm : to yoon jeonghan Holy shit, please forget I sent that this is so embarrassing.

5:27pm : from yoon jeonghan Hard to forget, but I will for you. Also not embarrassing at all. I'll be there to pick you up in 20 minutes, is that okay?

You react with a thumbs up, plopping backside on your bed with a groan.

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊

The night consisted of this. A drive that started off torturous with your embarrassment eating you alive but Jeonghan being Jeonghan made you feel comfortable only after a few minutes in.

Dinner was amazing once again, you asked him how he always knows the best places to eat and he confessed that he asked around for the best date spots. He only had one glass of wine and you had one cocktail, it was evident how both of you wanted the night to end. Him joking, slightly joking but probably entirely serious that he wanted to be completely sober and remember everything with you.

Now it was finally the drive back, the sexual tension in the air was thick that it was eating you alive as both of you hummed to what was playing on the radio. Though you two were holding hands, you were fighting a war in your brain to just move both your hands to your thigh and see if he raises it. Watching him drive with one hand made you imagine what else he can do with his fingers, with you specifically.

"Can I be honest with you?" Jeonghan utters, you don't miss the grip on the car wheel get tighter.

"Of course" You answer back ignoring the lump in your throat.

"I care about you so much, for a long time now. I don't want you to think I'm a pig... But I've spent the whole night thinking about those photos you texted me." He vents.

You let go of your joint hands just to grab his wrist and lead it inside your dress for him to feel the wet patch through your underwear. Already stopping at the traffic light, he looks at you, mouth slightly open at the side of his hand disappearing and feeling the tip of his fingers being wet.

With full eye contactn and confidence, you finally say

"Jeonghan, if you don't take me back to my place and fuck me like you've been wanting to. I'll be so upset."

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊ nsfw below

Eager mouths and bumping into walls was all that was heard in your lovely home. Hands ravaged each other as one by one clothes were taken off before even reaching the bedroom door. By the time you kicked it open as he shut it behind you two, you were left in the black lingerie you sent him and Jeonghan in only his pants. Your window was closed but curtains were open, making your room not completely pitch dark and it gave Jeonghan the opportunity to break the heated kiss to finally take a look at you. Though the lingerie was black, it was practically see through with only lace around your tits and pussy. Most importantly, your drenched laced panties pussy.

"You are fucking beautiful" he breathlessly complimented. It made you not want to shy away your body for once as he placed his mouth on your still covered up tits, all at the same time using his large hand to cup your pussy through the fabric. Thumb circling on your clit and the friction of the fabric made it all more delicious. You gasp loudly at the overstimulating pleasurable feeling. His mouth stops his torture once his purpose of your laced bra being as wet as your underwear is all done.

"You're so wet for me princess, did I do this? Without even properly touching you?" Jeonghan taunts and you whimper while nodding.

"Use your words." He orders.

"Yes sir." You reply.

The sir slipping out only made Jeonghan secretly buckle.

"Such a good girl, already knows what to say without me telling her. Your sir's good girl, aren't you?" He asks.

"Yes sir, I'm your good girl."

The car lights from someone driving past wakes you up and you turn to look at the window but before you could even offer or walk to close the curtains you hear a tsk from Jeonghan.

"Keep it open, they should see you belong to me."

As he sits on the edge of the bed, he uses two fingers to usher you to come towards him. By animalistic instinct you get on all fours and crawl to where he sat, Jeonghan can't hide the smirk on his face. You're perfect. How your minds feel linked with how you abide by what he wants without even knowing... He would never push you to do anything you're uncomfortable with but he can't hide his content that you two share the same kinks.

He tilts your head forward with two fingers below your chin, you lift your face up by his actions.

"Can I tell you what I want to do to you?" Jeonghan announces, you nod.

"I want to make you cum as much as you can handle until you're shaking. Want to see how much I can push this pretty body and mark it mine. Is that okay?" He explains, the fact he asks for consent as well... You feel your pussy get even more wetter, to the point it feels it's reached down your thighs.

"Yes sir, please ruin me. I'm all yours." You beg.

With that, all he did was pick you up and place you on the bed next to him. You squeal at how easy it was for him to do so, the cute noise coming out of your mouth making Jeonghan kiss your cheek softly, the last cute action he'll probably do for the night as he lays you down softly. Your head hitting your pillows as he's above you.

"I'm so obsessed with you princess" he quietly admits, but you catch it and it makes you kiss him eagerly. He slips his tongue in your mouth and you know there's no point in fighting for dominance because he'll win anyways. You feel his hands grip your wrists that lay on each side of your body, his mouth now travelling down to your neck placing both a mix of sweet kisses, bites and all together devouring your neck that it makes you grind up into nothing. He snickers at your desperation, lifting his leg higher that was kneeled between your legs to give you friction. You moan as your eyes travel backwards. "Grind on my knee baby girl while I mark you" Jeonghan orders and you do exactly so.

You felt so restraint but so hot all at the same time, body panting as you feel Jeonghan's lips on your breasts as his hands grip your wrists even tighter. The rough friction of your lace panties and his pants making you desperate for more. You hiss when you feel his teeth bite into your chest, he does it multiple times and you love it. Finding out that Jeonghan is a man of his word and was not joking when he said he wanted to mark you up.

You feel his lips move downward, a trail of his wet tongue in it's wake even poking your belly button as you squeal and fidget (but not too much as his hands were still around your wrists that were pinned at the side of your body). He realises he loves every sound that comes out of your mouth, you sigh in relief once you feel the cool air hit your pussy from his teeth bringing your laced underwear down to your ankles, letting go of one of your wrists for a quick second to toss the underwear behind him.

One tongue swipe made you lift your hips up to his face to grind as he tsked, releasing the same wrist to hold your thighs down. He stares up at you with a glare in his eyes "Patience princess." he orders. As punishment, his lips move to your inner right thigh instead, so so close to where you needed him as his hair brushes against it instead. With his arm still pushing down your left thigh, he moves his thumb to rub onto your clit all while still leaving marks. The sensation was new to you, lips on your inner thighs when you barely get someone to eat you out as it is. The sting from the bites he leaves only makes you more aroused, he uses the same hand that was rubbing your clit to now have one finger in you. The intrusion making you sigh in relief.

"Fuck, that feels so good" this moan of a sentence followed with a scream when Jeonghan at the same time bites your thigh and slips in another finger. You can feel his grin once he realises the clench between his fingers when pain strikes you and to further test it, he bites into your thigh again, you groan at the teasing as his fingers go faster. He alternates his mouth to leaving hickies on both your inner thighs as his fingers continues to thrust into you.

"Jeonghan I'm going to c-cum" you announce, he nods still leaving as much hickies as he can make and curling his fingers for your release. You do, with your back arched and hands gripping his hair to keep you steady. Your panting by the end of it, his lips finally release from your skin to watch you and put his fingers in his mouth to taste you. You watch his every move, biting your lip as you see him blissfully close his eyes and a smile form on his face. Once he releases it with a pop, he's back to lying stomach down on the bed. Arms now wrapped around both your thighs. Before you even tell him that you're still sensitive, he dives in to eat you out. His eyes never leaving you to see your reaction.

Truth be told, the taste of you on his fingers were not near enough. You tasted so sweet and heavenly, he could eat you out for hours and maybe he would because even his impatience got the best of him, not even warning you before diving in. As you looked down your eyes rolled back to your head seeing how deep he was. His nose resting on your clit as his eyes never left yours, his mouth making out with your pussy as his tongue drew figure 8s in your hole. His arms being wrapped around your thighs were putting pressure on the hickies he placed and though you initially hissed at the pain, it added onto the pleasure.

As you didn't get a break between your last orgasm and the fact Jeonghan's mouth is the best you've ever had, you came once again. Despite the sensitivity, Jeonghan didn't leave his spot and tasted every drop that came out of you. It took you using your own hands to push his head away to get him to stop, his eyes showing displeasure from this move but still letting you take a breath anyway. Body panting as he rubbed soothing circles on your hips.

"Thank you sir" you said, he only laughed in response.

"I'm not done with you angel and you're not pushing my head away to stop. If you really want me to, the safe word is pink. Understand?" he commanded,

With a gulp. You only nodded, his eyes were stern.

"Words princess." he responded.

"Yes sir." You replied

That's all it took for him to dive back in his favourite meal as you grip onto the sheets beside you to attempt to steady yourself for the long night that's about to come.

Jeonghan has been so giving to you, you scream as you cum from his mouth for the nth time. Your body was sweaty and you were so wet that it was leaking into your thighs, but no cum was being wasted not when he was addicted to the taste of it. Jeonghan alternated with you cumming on his mouth or fingers or both, you hadn't used your safe word and you don't see yourself doing so anytime soon but one thing was for sure you needed his cock. He currently had his tongue flickering your bud as three fingers vastly thrusted in you, the pink in your face was from the intense orgasms but also the slight embarrassment that your slick created such a prominent sound in the room that the movement of his fingers were so loud.

With still his fingers in you, Jeonghan came up to kiss your mouth and you accepted him. Humming at the taste of your cum and juices all over his lips and chin. Breaking apart when he heard the noise from your mouth, he grinned.

"See, even you know how delicious you are. How can I stop tasting you, could do this for hours baby." He proclaimed, you whined and nodded your head as a no. The shock of his face evident but with one hand you start touching him through his pants.

"I want to taste you too sir, please. And you can still taste me too, at the same time" You begged but also asked, his eyes gleamed.

He stands up from the bed to put his pants down. Though you had multiple orgasms, the sudden emptiness in your pussy made it clench. You drool at the sight of his hard cock that leaked of precum. Without him even asking you; you repositioned your body to be lying landscaped on the bed. Your lower legs hanging over on one side as your head is half still on your mattress and slightly hanging on the other side where your eyes are met with Jeonghan's cock. He has a million questions circling in his head, the slight possessiveness of him wondering if you've done this with someone else or had just had fantasies of it like he did (it's the latter) as you knew exactly how to position yourself without him asking or moving you as he planned.

He strokes your cheek but hisses feeling your lips touch his leaking tip, you hum at tasting his cum and smile seeing how sensitive he already is.

"You can't use your words angel, so do anything with your hands to hurt me. Scratch me if it gets too much alright? It's okay and we'll stop straight away." He vocalises. Though he was dominant, the constant need of wanting to reassure you made your heart do summersaults.

You nodded as a response and took more of his cock in your mouth as Jeonghan shimmied more closer, he could watch you forever. Groaning seeing the outline of his cock in your throat as you go deeper but as much as he loved the sight, he needed to taste you again even more. Moving his body downwards, he wrapped his arms around your inner thighs, elbows on the bed as he dove back into your pussy and it had you automatically moaning around his cock. The vibration adding more pleasure to him that his nails dug into your already laid with hickies thighs.

Both of you were engulfed in each other, Jeonghan closely hovering over you that he could lay on your body if his elbows gave in. It was overwhelming but you couldn't resist it. You wanted more and you got more. Though you've always wanted to do this, there wasn't anyone you trusted enough to ask. Until Jeonghan.

You swirled your tongue around Jeonghan's cock as he thrusted into your mouth, all your senses were him, mouth full of drool over his cock and your lips. Jeonghan lapped at your clit, the position having him closer to your bud as he continuously drew figure 8s and stuck his tongue in your hole. Having his cock in your mouth only added more pleasure to you, usually being able to control your hips you couldn't this time as you basically humped his face and he loved it. Knowing his face was coated in your juices while his cock was in your mouth drove Jeonghan to his orgasm quicker than he ever had, so engulfed in eating your pussy he came in your mouth without warning.

The mix of his sweet cum going down your throat as he groaned into your pussy and added pain onto your thighs because of gripping them tight made you cum at the exact same time. Not wanting to overwhelm you any further, Jeonghan quickly stood up and released his cock out of your mouth to watch you swallow. With your vision back you looked up to make eye contact with him as you swallowed his cum. Exactly what he wanted to see.

He stands there in silence for a few seconds, huffing and catching his breath while stroking your hair. It makes you reposition yourself from lying down to sitting up with your back legs tucked under your bum. He doesn't miss you squeezing your inner thighs while doing so, seeing you in all your glory. Doe like eyes staring up at him waiting for his next move, you were so beautifully perfect for him. He grabs your face to kiss you as a response, the sudden movement surprising you and it's at this moment Jeonghan truly realises he wants to forever keep surprising you with kisses full of the passion he has for you.

When the kiss broke, he orders you to lay back down with your head in the pillows like last time. You ask him to fuck you raw and he chokes on his own saliva, you giggle seeing his dominance quiver.

"Are you sure baby?" He asks

"I trust you, I'm on the pill and want to feel every bit of you."

Jeonghan could not get on the bed fast enough, you spread your legs to practically welcome him. Cock already hard again, he slaps it against your pussy lips, your pussy still coated with juices and so wet that it already coated his cock. He grabbed your left leg to put it over his shoulder as he finally thrusted in, he was only half way but still had to close his eyes to steady himself.

You truly were perfectly made for him.

"I want all of it sir, please" you beg below him, one hand now gripping on his other shoulder. Of course, he obliged. Sinking himself fully in, you arch your back feeling the fullness and grit of his cock.

His pace begins to fasten, making you moan out loud.

"Fuck, feels so good sir, more, more" You continue to almost chant, his pace fastening once again as he grips on your leg tighter and the other hand on the headboard above you. Though the pleasure was also overwhelming him, his eyes never left watching you. The way your tits bounced, the faces of pleasure and noises you made. He loved every bit of it.

Jeonghan shifted his hips a bit and that slight movement made him find the spot you needed, making you scream and grip his shoulder tighter. "Oh my god! Oh my fucking god there, there!" Throwing your head back, mouth gaping and eyes closing.

"Open your eyes, look at me baby" he panted out an order.

Wanting to please him, you open your eyes again despite the pleasure being overwhelming that you felt your senses losing it.

"Good girl" he compliments, he feels your pussy tighten at the words.

"My baby likes that? Likes being called good girl?" he taunts with a smile, you could only whimper as response. Feeling your stomach tighten again, "sir I-" you start.

Jeonghan nods "I know, let go baby" and you do exactly so. His pace stills as you cum around his cock and so you can catch a breather. You appreciate this, because you have no idea how many orgasms Jeonghan has pulled from you tonight but it's catching up to you. Feeling your eyes slightly flutter and droop, he catches this. Automatically pulling out which makes you whine from the emptiness.

"No, no sir I can take one more I swear please want to make you cum. Have your cum in me please, please" you babble as you reach for him to come back.

He wants to ask again if you're sure but the way your eyes stare at him and the way your arms are already around his neck to pull him closer says enough. He thrusts into you slowly, you wrap your legs around him and usher him to go faster and that it's okay.

It was all Jeonghan needed to go back to his old fast pace, you sigh happily and moan at the feeling. Your cum adding another layer around his cock and the way you lifted your hips to meet his thrusts made his eyes roll to the back of his head.

He drops his head into your shoulder, whispering how he's going to cum, your needy and begging response mixed with your moans of "cum in me sir, please I want it so bad." was all it took for him to go over the edge.

The warm feeling of his cum painting you white and how he bit your shoulder made your sensitive cunt reach its final orgasm of the night. Feeling this, Jeonghan felt more of his load shoot into you. He doesn't recall ever having such a powerful orgasm before, like he's said all night you were truly made for him and this was the final telling that he needed you forever.

In the position for a few minutes with heavy pants and soft kisses on the lips between you two, you finally unwrap your legs around his waist and arms around his shoulders, as Jeonghan's cock left your pussy he watched the mix of his load and your cum spill out. A sight that he'd never forget. Jeonghan goes to stand up to get you cleaned up but you pull his arm to come back.

"I'm just going to clean you up" he reassures you but you shake your head back and forth as a no, feeling yourself drift as it is.

"Just come cuddle please" You softly say and he can never say no to you, going back to lying in bed next to you and pulling you closer. Wrapping your legs around each other, he wrapped his arms around you and your head naturally laid on his chest.

"You're mine princess right?" Jeonghan asks, stroking your cheek as he feels your eyelashes fluttering on his chest as you fight against your tiredness taking over.

Nodding, "I'm all yours for as long as you want me" You respond, feeling his lips kiss your forehead as you go to sleep. The last thing you hear him say "You're mine and I'm yours forever."

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊

Going outside your bedroom, the new morning light making you rub your eyes. You're shocked to see a shirtless Jeonghan wearing only his briefs sitting on your living room floor assembling the Ikea shelf you bought for said room that you've been procrastinating on doing so.

Sneaking up behind him, you kneel down and wrap your arms around his body. "What are you doing?" you muffled on his bare shoulder giving it a quick kiss.

"I saw this while getting myself water and I thought why not do it for my baby, her hands have way more important things to do than this." He turns his head, sucking in a breath when he realises you're only wearing his button up white top from last night that consumed you like a dress.

He spun himself around making you squeal as you were suddenly on his lap, Jeonghan groans feeling you bare on his briefs. Lifting the top up slightly to see you with no underwear and most importantly already getting his briefs wet as he teases a finger to your clit.

"Already wet and I haven't even done anything?" Jeonghan teases.

You groan, "I get wet at even the thought of you Yoon Jeonghan."

[woncheolisms]

antithesis. (yoon jeonghan x reader)

summary: under the weight of what you are, you’re slowly falling apart. you firmly believe no one can help you, and you’re destined to be alone like this forever. but your perfect match is right in front of you, you just can’t see it. and he is too afraid of himself to tell you that you’re meant to be with him.

pairing: apex alpha!jeonghan x prime omega!reader

word count: 12.2k

warnings: omegaverse au, so expect all omegaverse things, scenting, heats, ruts, knotting, pack dynamics, angst, alienation, rough childhood, insecurity, physical and mental exhaustion, borderline suicidal ideation, self doubt, being ostracised, hurt/comfort, switching povs, smut, nsfw, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, fingering, dirty talk, slightly possessive jeonghan, praise.

a/n: you can try but you will really have to rip omegaverse out of my cold, dead hands. this is a commissioned work though! I was given the trope of alpha jh and I ran with it. you can check out my commissions sheet here if you like. anyway, enjoy!

The sound of the washer humming fills the room. All else is quiet, except the strange and numb buzzing in your ears. You stare blankly at the small red light on the machine, waiting for it to turn green. You’re waiting with the next load of washing, and you need to put that in before you can think about doing something else. You need it at least partially through by the time Joshua comes home.

You contemplate going out to the living room and sitting down. Your hips ache, your legs throb. The buzzing in your ears feels all encompassing. Fatigue is weighing you down like sandbags attached to your limbs. Even your eyelids are heavy. You would love nothing more than to sleep for…… well, forever. Days. Months. Maybe never wake up again.

You’re so tired.

You stiffen when you hear the front door open, blinking to banish the sleep from your eyes. You turn around just in time to see Joshua stick his head through the laundry room door. He realises what you are doing immediately, because you always do this, and he steps in with a disapproving tut.

“What did I say last time?” He huffs, walking in and eyeing the bundle of sheets and clothes in the basket, waiting to enter the next cycle in the machine, after the first load is done. You don’t reply to him, mostly because you’ve had this conversation with him so many times and it’s the one thing you can’t budge on. There’s no way you’re letting your roommate wash all your sheets and towels after a heat. Those things are filthy, remnants of slick and sweat on them. You know for a fact that it smells too strong, too dense, for anyone but you to stand. That’s why you wear scent suppressors everywhere you go.

Just another reason to hate being a prime omega.

You remember when you presented. You had barely turned fourteen years old. Your parents, siblings, extended family, everyone was shocked. People hardly presented before sixteen. Yours was way too early. Your parents were so concerned that they took you to a specialist immediately. And that’s when you got the news.

“She’s special.” The doctor looked almost elated. “A prime omega. Very rare. I know of only a few thousand around the world. Congratulations.”

And maybe it was because he congratulated your parents that they received it as good news. It took only some research to find out that prime omegas were above all else in terms of secondary gender hierarchy since the dawn of time, second only to apex alphas. The perfect specimens, the true representation of what the essence of an omega should be. Endlessly nurturing, empathetic, kind, and of course, the biological advantage of being very desirable. Prime omegas had repopulated great stretches of land throughout history, kept packs intact and running even during the worst of times. But around three or four centuries ago, they started dying off. There was no explanation why, but no one was presenting as a prime omega anymore, and before you knew it, they became rare, prized individuals instead of the driving force in their communities.

It all sounded incredible on paper, having a prime omega in the family. Your parents boasted about it, treated you like glass for those first couple of weeks. You were too young to really understand how to feel about it, to grapple with the implications of your rare secondary gender. You went with your parents’ joy, deciding that maybe it was a good thing.

But it all became clear to you very quickly, when you received a few pointed gifts from neighbors and acquaintances who you knew had alpha sons. It was a tragedy, truly, to realise at such a young age that your value was being reduced to what your secondary gender was, to what you could give to alphas. You watched it happen in real time. People became sweeter, in that artificial way that cherry cough syrup feels on your tongue. Your alpha teachers at school looked at you weird, like you were a lab specimen to ogle at. Very creepily, you had noticed a few of them even trying to subtly sniff you. It was a horrific experience.

You developed an aversion to alphas because of that. The thought of them wanting you only for your biology was revolting to you. You longed to be just another omega for them, but it seemed that as soon as someone knew you smelled different, all gloves were off. You became a commodity instead of a person.

In your everyday life, it became extremely difficult to deal with the problems of your secondary gender. While everyone around you went into heat or rut on a quarterly basis, once every three months, yours was unpredictable and far more frequent. Your first heat, at only age sixteen, left you near debilitated. It was agonising, no matter how many painkillers your mother forced down your throat, no matter how many times she wiped your teary, sweaty face. The fantasy built in your head, in your parents’ heads, of your presentation being a good thing for the family, were quickly dashed.

You were a burden, in every sense of the word.

In the months leading up to your high school graduation, you knew your parents and siblings grew to be resentful of you. They never said it, but it was evident. Your mother would constantly huff and puff about doing your laundry, to the point that you just started handling it yourself while she did your siblings’. Your scent, by its very nature, was very strongly omega. Of course, you had no way of telling, because you couldn’t smell yourself, but your mother made no secret of it, using any opportunity to tell you that you stank. Your father had gone far and wide to make connections and get you industrial grade scent blocking patches, the ones you use to this day, that make your scent go from incredibly potent to acceptable levels for an omega.

You hide behind those scent patches to this day.

Joshua’s hands on your arms break you from your thoughts. He nudges you gently, guiding you out of the door of the laundry room and to your bedroom. He is silent as he lays you down on the bed, the one you had put fresh sheets on just a little while ago. You don’t protest. Your mind is still muted, and you feel lost in an endless tide of emotions and memories. Post-heat is tough for you, your body still wound up, your omega screaming at you that nothing is enough, that you need more.

You don’t know how much more you can give to your omega. You don’t have anything left in you.

You lay there a long time, listening to the humming and beeping of the washer as Joshua quickly goes through your laundry. You want to beg him to let it go, that you will do your own laundry when you feel a little less like death. Your mother’s taunts of your unbearable scent are fresh in your head even today. Somehow, immediately after a heat, you remember every single thing in painful detail. But Joshua won’t hear it, you know this. He is hell bent on taking care of you.

“I told you, it’s not that bad to me.” He would always say. “Maybe I’m a beta. That’s why.”

You know for a fact that’s not true. You’ve had beta friends before. They all complained that your scent is too strong. Too omega. But not Joshua. Never Joshua. He never once complained. He has lived with you for a good year now. He has never once made you feel any different from a regular old omega.

Joshua was your first friend in university. You had moved cities after high school, armed with your scent blockers and desperate for a fresh start. He was in your first ever orientation class, and he never really left your side after that. Joshua was endlessly warm, so friendly and bright that you couldn’t help gravitating to him. Despite your nightmarish experience in high school, you were determined to make it different now, to get away from the things that haunt you. So you never told him your actual status. He could, of course, smell the omega on you, but your scent patches, carefully hidden under turtlenecks, scarves and your own hair, made you a regular omega, not a freaky prime specimen. You were normal, and you were determined to blend in.

Joshua already knew people on campus, a mix of juniors, sophomores, seniors. He was very popular, and had a large circle of friends. He introduced you to all of them immediately. You were wary of them, especially the alphas, but they didn’t seem to notice your predicament either. God bless your scent blockers. Before you knew it, you were part of their little friend group, swept up by college life and feeling, for the first time, that things might turn out okay.

So what if you had to lie about your unexpected absences? You had an excuse. Your mother was chronically ill and you had to visit her often, taking days off at a time, enough to let you deal with your painful heats and come back. Your father had put his name down on a lease for an apartment, paying half the rent while you worked to pay the rest. You had space, you had privacy to deal with your issues. You even explained away the scent blocking patches that Seungkwan noticed on your neck. They all seemed to buy it, and for a few glorious months, everything was wonderful.

They were all very close knit, some even in relationships with each other, which put you somewhat at ease about the alphas, like Seungkwan, who was mated to Hansol, his alpha. Then there was Jun, who was actively courting Minghao when you met them. They operated almost like a pack, though they weren’t explicitly in one. Seungcheol, an alpha, was good at wrangling with the more rowdy alphas in your group, like Soonyoung and Seokmin. Similar to a pack leader. It was a wonderful dynamic, and they all accepted you with open arms as a regular omega. You had friends, a makeshift pack, people who cared, people who didn’t immediately write you off as an outcast. Things were looking up.

Then, Soonyoung found out.

It was a regular afternoon. Mundane. You were working your evening shift at the store where you had a job as a cashier. You were even feeling a little sleepy. Then, you spotted the alpha in line, holding a few helpings of instant ramen. You smiled when he stepped up to the counter.

“Hi, Soonie.” You checked his items. “How’d your rut go? Feeling okay?”

He looked well, albeit a bit tired. Heats and ruts tend to do that. Of course, yours is entirely different, leaving you near paralysed by the end, taking days before you can even stand up. But it’s not as bad for normal people.

He just nodded in return with a quick uptick of his lips, but his eyes were intense as they trained on you. He watched you silently as you rang him up, very uncharacteristic for someone like him. You quirked an eyebrow up at him.

“Everything okay?” You hesitated, feeling like something was off with him. He just leaned in, watching you closely. You stared back, confused, and then he spoke the words that made your blood run ice cold.

“You’re different, aren’t you? You’re not a regular omega.”

You had stiffened immediately, watching him. There was no one in line behind him, it was a slow day. So he just stood there, sharp eyes darting between your own as if he was trying to piece you together. You didn’t like it. His eyes were too knowing, too scrutinising.

You didn’t say anything. You felt trapped.

He sighed and stepped away, grabbing the bag where you put his groceries in. He gave you a small smile, saying a few last words before leaving you where you stood.

“Call me when you’re free, okay?”

And that’s how you told him.

Turns out, he found your scarf mixed up in his things a little while before he went into rut. His alpha told him something was off about your scent, and his heightened scenes during rut only confirmed it. He didn’t know you were a prime omega, that word wasn’t really part of his vocabulary, but he knew it was something. So you just came clean.

There was relief in being truthful, but there was also anxiety. You told Soonyoung it was okay to tell everyone, because you would rather they all know or no one knows at all. So you waited, and you accepted that soon enough, they would all distance themselves from you.

Joshua showed up at your door with Seungcheol that very evening.

It took a lot of talking, a lot of tears, confessions and apologies. Joshua was hurt that you would hide something like that from them, but Seungcheol was quick to say he understood.

“Too many alphas in the pack.” He joked. “It was a good idea to not tell them immediately. They know you now, as a person and not as a prime omega. So things won’t be different.”

You nodded, feeling a little more relieved that he wasn’t being harsh with you. That he didn’t hate you for who you are.

“But I am concerned.” He continued. “I can’t imagine it’s easy for you, managing all this alone.”

You just smiled. “It’s fine. I’ve been doing it for years. I have a little bit of a routine.”

He hummed, deep in thought, unconvinced that it was all actually fine. It’s not, truthfully. You hate your heats. They leave you aching for so long, a shell of who you are, your omega, a demanding beast that keeps roaring, never satisfied. Always greedy.

You don’t know how long you can go before you completely collapse.

Over the next few weeks after that, you did notice the group acting differently, but not in the way you imagined. Instead of ostracising you, they became more considerate. Seungkwan would rub his wrist over yours when you felt anxious, and omega pheromones did help you relax. Wonwoo and Mingyu kept an eye out for any alpha who looked at you too long. Jihoon, ever the health freak, would plan meals for you that he and Joshua would then cook and freeze. Simple, ready to eat stuff that would help keep you nourished during your heats. There were always a few packets in your freezer, for any unexpected heat you might get. Seungcheol was particular about you not being alone during a time that was so dangerous for your body, and that’s when Joshua volunteered to move in.

You weren’t used to kindness or consideration, and you were given so much of it in such a short time.

Hence came to be your current routine. When your heat hits, Joshua leaves for a few days after making sure you have a good nest and plenty of meals on hand. As always, you take lots of painkillers and a tried-and-true dosage of sleeping pills that did nothing to make you sleep, but left you drowsy enough to not be able to move. In your condition, you can’t trust yourself to have the ability to leave the house. Your mother isn’t around to hold you back from seeking an alpha anymore, so medicines help instead. You struggle through a few days, usually a week, shaking and crying in numbed pain, before you’re left worn out as it wanes. For many, many cycles, Joshua has insisted he will take care of the mess afterwards, but you just can’t bring yourself to let him handle your problems. Including laundry.

Rejoining everyone after a heat is the best time, in your opinion. They all get incredibly doting, like they do with every omega in the group after a heat, taking care to feed you and nurse you back to health. In your post-heat haze, filled with self loathing, you tell yourself you don’t deserve their kindness, but then Chan runs a soothing hand over your back, his neutral beta scent like a comforting blanket, and you tell yourself it’s okay to be a little selfish sometimes.

And then there’s Jeonghan.

Jeonghan is Seungcheol’s best friend. An alpha, a quiet one, but a strong presence nonetheless. You first met him when you were introduced to the rest of the group, a flurry of introductions, but he immediately stuck out. To you, he feels like a focal point for the group. Everyone naturally gravitates towards him, seeking out his word and his opinion on everything. And you do the same as well. Jeonghan has this pull to him that is almost irresistible. He is endlessly attentive too. You feel his eyes on you many times, watching, learning, so when he speaks, it feels like he speaks to your soul.

He always buys you strawberry milk because he knows it’s your favorite. He lines up Hell’s Kitchen or Extreme Cheapskates on the television because he knows watching trash TV calms you down after a bad day. He noticed that you liked his grey wool scarf so much that he just wore it everywhere, eventually giving it to you halfway through a hangout because you always complain about being cold. Somehow, a few of your scent patches end up in his wallet, ready in case of emergency.

It’s only natural, even if you curse yourself for it, that your heart skips whenever Jeonghan looks at you a bit too long. Your omega keens when you feel his hand on the small of your back, or when he leans close enough that his soft, silky hair brushes over your cheek. His scent is strong, leather and vanilla, even when he wears those cute patches with little bunnies drawn on them. He doesn’t wear them on his neck, strangely. Only his wrists. He says it’s more for showing purposes, because he likes how they look. Your own are just a boring brown color. He puts stickers on the ones he keeps in his wallet, an action so endearing you have to hide your grin when you first see them.

“If you’re going to wear them all the time, you might as well make them pretty.” He quips.

You try to scold yourself. In no way would it be okay to fall for Jeonghan. You’re a mess. You can barely manage to get by most days. Dragging an alpha into your problems would be cruel, especially not Jeonghan, who has endless potential and hordes of omegas who would give their left arm and leg to even get half his attention. Being with you would ruin him. Your routine is unpredictable on good days, and absolute hell on the worst. You cannot even imagine what your uninhibited, unblocked scent would feel like to him. Dense and sickly, you know. Too much. Because you’ve always been too much.

So you stay silent. And you bask in whatever scraps you have of him, happy to float in his orbit. Content to just know someone like him. To get even a whiff of his scent, just enough to relax your nerves when everything becomes a little too difficult.

It takes you over two days to get back on your feet after your most recent brush with biology. You sleep through most of it, so exhausted that you can’t even open your eyes. Somewhere in between, you have a vague memory of Joshua trying to wake you up and coax food into you, but you just burst into tears, telling him to leave you alone. When you finally come to, you don’t remember any of it. All you are left with is your very concerned beta friend who is unusually quiet, boiling some tea for you as you sit on the kitchen island, watching him.

“This isn’t normal.” He mumbles. You huff out a laugh.

“Nothing about me is normal, Shua.” You try to keep your tone light and humorous. But you just sound resigned. He shakes his head, eyes trained on the kettle, his back to you.

“No. I mean for you. This isn’t even normal for you.”

Your eyebrows furrow. “What do you mean?”

He turns around, and you realise this is more than a little bit of concern. Joshua looks almost at the edge of panic. It catches you off guard.

“Your heats are more frequent now than they were a few months ago.” He mumbles, something in his tone a little urgent. “They were around once a month, but this last one came just two weeks after the one before.”

You blink. “I didn’t notice.”

He sighs. “That’s the other thing. You’ve been…. really out of it. More than usual. And you sleep for way longer afterwards. You’re completely exhausted, Y/N. This isn’t okay.”

You fidget, fiddling with your hands. Joshua is confirming what the little accusatory voice in your head has been saying for a while now. That things are getting progressively worse. That you are starving your omega. There has been a feeling of impending doom looming over you, a threat that keeps becoming more and more real.

“Have you-” Joshua pauses, hesitates. “Have you thought of taking an Alpha? Someone who can help with your heat?”

You go rigid, immediately shaking your head. “No.”

Joshua tries to barrel on. “I’m just saying-”

“No, Shua. I can’t. My heats are….. bad. I can’t trust an alpha with them.”

“But I could talk to Seungcheol. I’m sure there’s someone who-”

You stand up abruptly, gripping the marble counter when it immediately sends a wave of dizziness through your head. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

You leave the kitchen. He doesn’t mention it again.

That evening, both of you head to Seungkwan and Hansol’s place off campus for your weekly hangout and dinner. Their house has a pretty big terrace that Mingyu uses to make barbecue for everyone, so it’s the designated place for all of you to gather. Joshua is still a bit on edge, and he’s not really speaking to you, so you stay quiet as well. You don’t have the energy to entertain whatever radical idea he is suggesting. The thought of being with an alpha during your heat makes you nauseous. Especially because of how you’ve been treated by alphas all throughout high school. Like you’re some piece of meat. You can’t imagine being in your heat, so vulnerable and open, only to be used for someone else’s desires.

You can’t do that to yourself.

Most of the friend group is already there, lounging around, watching a game on the TV or helping set up the dining table. Mingyu is on the terrace with Seungcheol, sorting through the humongous portions of meat for the occasion. They’re all big eaters, so you go through a lot of food every time you have dinner together. Joshua beelines to the sliding glass door leading outside, and you trudge to the living room instead, the walk here already tiring you out. Everyone looks up and greets you loudly as you enter, making you smile.

Jeonghan is lounging lazily on the couch, eyes trained on the screen. He’s dressed in his typical oversized shirt and pants, long hair loose and curling around his neck. When he sees you, his lips stretch in a warm smile and he pats the cushion next to him. You flop down with a long sigh, happy to be off your feet. Soonyoung and Seungkwan are already bickering about something from the other couch. You watch them with amusement for a bit until you feel something brush over your shoulder.

“Okay?” Jeonghan’s voice is soft. He knows your heat just ended. Your heart twists at his consideration. You nod.

It’s a lie. You’re not okay.

He keeps rubbing your shoulder, soft and slow patterns that make you drift off in your mind. You think about what Joshua said, and for the briefest moment of lowered inhibition, you think of what it would be like if that alpha was Jeonghan. He’s the first alpha you’ve ever felt drawn to. While most alphas made you feel jumpy and uneasy, Jeonghan felt….. safe. Like if worse came to worst, he could protect you. You know he’s a strong alpha, he has a presence to him that’s equally ominous and overpowering. And yet, he’s endlessly considerate and kind. Maybe, of all the alphas in the world, Jeonghan would get it.

Maybe. You can let yourself dream.

Unbeknownst to you, Joshua steps onto the terrace in an absolutely foul mood. Seungcheol’s nose twitches and he looks up from where he’s prepping the grill. Something is definitely not okay. He exchanges a furtive look with Mingyu before turning back to the beta.

“What’s up with you?” He asks.

Joshua huffs and fiddles with one of the packets they have laid out, looking like he’s lost deep in thought. Seungcheol gives it a minute, letting his friend come to him instead of forcing it out. Mingyu stays silent.

“She didn’t agree to your suggestion.”

Comprehension dawns on Seungcheol. He huffs out a little laugh.

“Well, I didn’t have high hopes anyway.”

Joshua shakes his head. Mingyu gestures for the packet he is fiddling with, and Joshua hands it over. “It could’ve been so good for her. I don't understand why she won’t even consider it.”

Seungcheol hums, carefully laying down the first steak. It sizzles as it hits the grill. “You can’t expect her to make a decision like that when she doesn’t even have all the facts.”

Joshua gives him a dry look. “I said from the start that we should tell her.”

The alpha nods. “I know. But Jeonghan refused. He says if she wants to come to him, it has to be because he’s him, not because he’s an apex.”

Joshua rolls his eyes and starts prepping the vegetables, anything to distract himself from his frustration. “So they’re both just going to dance around each other forever.”

Seungcheol shrugs, feeling sweat build up in his hairline. “We can’t understand them, Shua. A prime omega and an apex alpha. They’re different, so they go about things differently. She’s scared he won’t want her because of what she is. He’s scared she will want him only because of what he is.”

Joshua is silent for a brief moment. When he speaks again, he sounds defeated. “And they’ll both suffer until they figure it out. If they figure it out.”

Seungcheol looks at the beta sadly, nodding. “It’s not our place. All we can do is give them a little nudge.”

Joshua turns to look inside the apartment, eyeing the pair sitting on the couch. You’re giggling at something Jeonghan has said, the first genuine happiness he has seen out of you in over a week. His heart hurts for you, because he knows you’re slowly dying on the inside. He just hopes that the alpha you’re looking at so reverently will see that you need him, and that he needs you too.

…………………………………..

Jeonghan knew even before he presented that he was different.

He doesn’t know what clued him into the fact. No one else noticed anything. But there was something in him, that he later learned was intuition, that told him he stood apart from the rest of them. He didn’t like that fact a lot, standing out means drawing attention to yourself. And Jeonghan liked remaining in the shadows a lot more, doing his own thing however he pleased without too many people in his ear.

It didn’t exactly come as a shock when he presented as an apex alpha. Yes, they were rare, but it was that damn voice in him that told him this reality a long time ago. He was different, and he hated it from the get go.

Jeonghan didn’t feel like some ideal specimen, even if he was meant to be one. Everyone ogled him wherever he went, especially the omegas. He still remembers when a girl in his Advanced Physics class went into heat the day he sat next to her. A horrifying experience, and the thing that made him start wearing scent blocking patches. All the boys in his class thought it was so cool, as if he was some badass for his mere presence being enough to trigger a heat. But he just felt uncomfortable, and he vowed to push as far away from this stereotype of alpha as he possibly could.

So he grew his hair long, he wore baggy clothes that hid his lean, cut figure. He wore patches on his wrists near constantly, the place he realised he smelled the strongest. He became docile and quiet, preferring to stay in the background rather than make himself known. Of course, anyone who knew him for long enough could tell there was something about him, a pull, a presence, but he changed himself enough that people wouldn’t jump to ‘apex alpha’.

Seungcheol knew. Immediately.

Seungcheol is not an apex alpha himself, but he is a strong and intuitive one nevertheless. He figured it out without Jeonghan saying a single word, but he never treated Jeonghan any differently. Neither did the rest of the friend group. To them, he was just Jeonghan, who was a great listener and gave great advice, all of which was because of his brain and not because of biology. Jeonghan felt like he belonged, and the distrust in him settled the longer he spent in company with his friends.

When he met you for the first time, it’s like alarm bells started going off in his head.

He smelled you immediately. He’s sure the others did as well, but to them, it was just the scent of omega. Not him, though. He knew instantly that something was different about you. It wasn’t strong, probably because of the ugly brown patches you had slapped all over your neck that you thought you were hiding with that turtleneck you put on (You weren’t. He knew they were there the second he laid eyes on you). But your scent was sweet, in a way omegas rarely are to him. He remembers being shocked by how quickly he began salivating, that he had to swallow against the tight knot in his throat when you stepped closer to him. When you shook his hand with a smile, Jeonghan had to hold himself back from running his patched up wrist over yours.

It’s funny. Jeonghan has never fought instinct before. But every time he saw you, he had to hold himself back in some capacity.

It took him just ten minutes of dedicated internet sleuthing to figure out what you were. A prime omega. His antithesis, the person on the other side of the mirror he has been holding up his whole life. But it was more than that, and one look at the smile that didn’t really reach your eyes told him all he needed to know.

You’re broken, way beyond anything you can hope to fix. He sees the pattern, the endless, agonising heats, the days of fog descending over your head afterwards. Jeonghan got lucky, his ruts were the same as everyone else, quarterly, though they were very intense, much more than any alpha he has known. But your struggle is on a whole other plane. Jeonghan’s alpha, this strong apex inside him, howls. He fights the urge to go over to you, to rip those annoying, miserable patches off your neck and lick over you. Give you his scent. Your omega yearns for him, and Jeonghan suspects even you don’t know this.

So he pushes. He talks to Seungcheol, to Joshua, who then brings up the idea of an alpha to you.

The second you step into Seungkwan and Hansol’s place for barbecue night, he sees the sour look on Joshua’s face. It didn’t go well, he assumes. Joshua walks to the terrace without even saying hi, but you dawdle your way to where he sits. Jeonghan’s heart squeezes as his eyes catch the dark circles under yours. Your patches are in place, as always, but not aligned properly and some wrinkled. When you sit next to him, he sniffs. Yes, you smell stronger today. His alpha growls again, and he bites his tongue to hold himself back. You’re already spacing out, so he reaches his arm around your shoulder as gently as he can to not startle you.

“Okay?” He asks. He sees you blink a few times to regain focus, nodding at him. He wants to scoff.

You’re a good liar. But you don’t know that he is an even better one.

He runs his hand over your shoulder because he can’t help himself. It’s just a little bit of indulgence, he can allow himself this much. He watches your eyelids flutter, your face nearly melting. You’re spacing out again, cute. He leans closer.

“You can sleep a bit until dinner is ready, angel.” He hums. You shake your head at his suggestion.

“I want to spend time with you guys. It’s been a while.” You confess. Jeonghan wants to coo at you, but he holds himself back, settling on just giving your shoulder a little squeeze and resting his arm fully over them. You sink into him, and Jeonghan has to will himself to be calm. It’s scraps, he knows this. His alpha wants more, he can take more. But he won’t do that to you. It has to come from you. You have to come to him.

So he waits. He talks to you, makes little jokes that clear your head as time goes by, and when dinner comes, he keeps an eye on your plate, makes sure you eat well, and offers to drive you and Joshua back at the end of the night. You thank him with that dazzling smile of yours, and it takes everything in Jeonghan to not kiss you senseless. Instead he watches you walk up to your building, waving at him one last time before you and Joshua are gone.

He will wait. You're meant to be with him. You just don’t trust your biology yet.

……………………………

Winter melts into spring in March, warming the air a little and bringing a pleasant feeling with it. Classes are in full swing, and you lose yourself in an unending cycle of studying, heats, recovering from heats, catching up on studying, rinse and repeat. It seems that ever since Joshua verbalised their changing nature, the heats have worsened. It has progressed from the pain, the cramps and the crying, to this deep seated rift inside you. You feel so empty through all of it, so alone, that it leaves you more emotionally shaken than physically. Somehow, you hate this shift even more than the actual pain. Because bodily pain is tangible. You can use warm compresses, or hot teas, or medicines to fix that.

You don’t know what to do about this yearning inside you.

You don’t notice you’re slipping, but your friends do. Soonyoung makes it a point to text you things like ‘see you in class in an hour!’ because he knows how spacey and forgetful you've been. When you go through your bag, you often find little treats in there; a chocolate bar, a roll of biscuits, chewable sweets, a packet of those watermelon jellies you really like. You don’t know who puts them there, but you suspect Jun or Wonwoo. The fridge is constantly stocked with electrolytes even when you forget to pick them up, and someone is always at home even if Joshua isn’t. Seungkwan watches movies with you, or Jihoon coaxes you into studying sessions. Chan makes sure his notes are extra clean and legible so you can catch up on work you miss out on. Once or twice, Mingyu wanted to go on a run with you, which you immediately shot down. You can barely move on most days. You’re sure you are in no condition to run.

But it’s Jeonghan’s behavior that surprises you the most.

For most mornings of the week, he shows up at your apartment, saying he just felt like walking together to campus since he’s heading that way for his own classes anyway. What you don’t notice is the stare he levels every single alpha with when their noses twitch in your vicinity, his inherent status as an apex making them flinch and back down. He doesn’t like flaunting what he is like this, but this is about you and your safety, so he will. He’s there when you get out of classes too, accompanying you to the library or back to your place. Sometimes, if it’s not him, someone else is, like Seungcheol or Seokmin, but most of the time, it’s him.

Classes rage on. You get more tired as the days blur.

You miss your alarm one day, scrambling to get ready when Joshua shakes you awake. Jeonghan waits in the living room as you pull yourself together, and you finally join him, pushing your books into your bag.

“I’m ready, I’m ready!” You gasp, smoothing your hair down as much as you can. It’s all you can do in less than five minutes since you woke up. Jeonghan stills, eyeing you closely, and you see the corner on his lip tick up in an amused smirk.

“Hold on.” He steps closer. You blink up at him, confused. He reaches his hand towards your neck slowly, giving you room to move away, finally tugging at the corner of your scent patch and peeling it off.

Your heart skips. Your blood chills.

Mere milliseconds later, he smooths it on again, face focused as he gently presses it down on the junction of your neck and shoulder to make it stick, in a slightly different position than it was before.

“Your scent glands weren’t covered properly, angel.” He mumbles, stepping away and giving you that sweet smile of his. A strand of hair falls over his face, catching in his eyelashes when he blinks. You stare at him, dumbfounded. He took your scent blocker off. He smelled you. No one has smelled your true, unfiltered scent in years. And Jeonghan didn’t even flinch. His nose didn’t scrunch up like your mother’s would. He didn’t plug it exaggeratedly like your brothers did all the time. He didn’t react at all, just fixed it and carried on.

Did you not repulse him? How is he so calm?

You are broken from your racing thoughts when he quickly grips your wrist and tugs you to the door, claiming you have to hurry because he wants to stop for coffee on the way. You’re uncharacteristically quiet as you make your way to campus. But Jeonghan’s smile is there, quiet and knowing. He doesn’t push, doesn’t talk about it. But he’s there with all his silent reassurance. The yearning, dying omega inside you whines. When was the last time you felt the touch of an alpha like that? The answer is never.

You can barely focus on the lecture for that day, your heart beating faster than usual throughout, staring blankly at the board and not absorbing a single word. As soon as the professor dismisses you, you’re hurrying out of the hall, your strange anxiety easing when you see Jeonghan outside already, waiting for you like he always does. His tall figure stands out among everyone else. He gives you a little smile.

The knot in your chest loosens at the sight of him.

You decide to go to the library until your next class, which is about two hours later. You could go back home, but Jeonghan suggests you use this time to catch up on missing lectures, which is a good idea. You settle into a desk tucked in the very corner of the room, Jeonghan next to you, poring over his own laptop. You watch his hands move over the keys, eyes dropping to his wrists. Today, he’s chosen to wear light blue patches with little white clouds on them, two on each wrist. They match the blue of his shirt, which you think is very cute. They’re not the industrial grade stuff you use, they’re just store brand, generic ones.

“Hannie?”

“Hm?”

“Why do you use patches?”

His smiles, but his eyes remain glued to the screen. “I told you. I like the way they look.”

You snort, not believing him. He chuckles at the sound.

“My scent is pretty strong.” He says. “It’s easier to put these on than deal with people’s stares every day.”

You’re surprised. You always knew Jeonghan had a strong presence, but you didn’t know he struggled with something like that. You watch the side of his face.

“Mine is strong too.” You confess. Jeonghan hums, fingers clacking on the keyboard.

“I know, doll.” His voice is like velvet. You shift a little. Contemplate. Then, you take a deep breath, making up your mind.

“You took my patch off earlier.” You can hear your own voice shake. “You didn’t….. why didn’t you react?”

This makes him finally pause, turning to look at you. “What do you mean?”

You hesitate again, but Jeonghan’s attention is now fully yours. You soldier on.

“Everyone always told me my scent is pretty unbearable.” You stare over his shoulder, unable to meet his eye. “Everyone would…. kind of flinch away.”

There’s a small pause. Jeonghan speaks again. “I’m not everyone.”

You finally focus on his eyes, endlessly gentle, earthy brown. “You’re not?”

He shakes his head. “I’m different. Like you.”

You stare at him. All is silent in the library. Nothing shifts. It’s like the air around you is holding its breath.

“I don’t understand.” You whisper.

Jeonghan leans in just so. He enters your space, closer to your ear. His cheek brushes yours. Something hot zips down your spine. Your heart kicks painfully at your ribs. You don’t dare move a muscle.

“All those people lied to you.” He breathes. You feel it on the shell of your ear. “You smell wonderful to me, angel. Sweet. A little like honey.”

He moves away before you can process. You watch him turn back to the laptop. The clicking of the keyboard breaks the silence in your space. Your brain is whirring a mile a minute. You turn to the notes Chan lent you. Not reading a single word. Just staring.

Jeonghan doesn’t act any differently for the rest of the day. You finish up studying, taking your last class of the day before he offers to treat you to lunch. Like any other mundane routine. As if he hasn’t shattered your entire world. You eat together with idle gossip. Nothing changes outwardly, but your mind rages with storms. You don’t know what to do with Jeonghan’s confession. Your first instinct is to deny it, but Jeonghan has never lied to you. You trust him with every part of you. He wouldn’t lie about this, even as a joke. Everything from his tone to the look in his eyes was sincere.

For the first time since that night Joshua suggested finding an alpha for you, you dream about that alpha being Jeonghan. It seems real now, tangible. You don’t find the idea of letting Jeonghan in frightening, because truthfully, Jeonghan has been taking care of you for a while now. You wonder what it would feel like to just melt into him, to finally stop struggling with the omega in you, to trust him with every part of yourself without worrying that he will back away like everyone else did.

Your next heat hits in two weeks, and it’s your worst one yet.

Unfortunately, your omega knows what it wants now. It wants Jeonghan, and it whines for him. You sob through the first day, none of your normal medicines doing anything to numb you. You’re sweaty, every muscle in your body rigid and screaming, your mind muddled. You don’t even remember what time of day it is when you reach for your phone, clicking on his contact with shaking fingers and listening to the dialtone ring.

“Y/N?”

His voice makes a sharp tendril of pain shoot through your stomach.

“Alpha!” You wail. “Need- need you. Please.”

You’re sobbing too badly to hear shuffling in the background. Jeonghan sits up and turns on his bedside lamp. He stares at the clock on his phone screen before putting it back to his ear. 02.13am.

“Angel, are you alone?” He knows you are, but he needs to make sure. You only sob on the other end, and Jeonghan grits his teeth. This is bad. He knows for a fact that you’re usually docile through your heat because of the drugs you take. He pulls up Joshua’s contact, putting you on hold so he can call the beta. You’re so out of it that you don’t even notice. Joshua picks up after a few rings, sounding groggy with sleep.

“Shua, get your ass back home.” Jeonghan grits out. Something in his tone must register, he’s almost growling, something he hates doing, but hearing you sound so distressed has left him shaken. Joshua immediately hangs up, and Jeonghan gets back on call with you.

“You’re still with me?” He asks, trying to keep his tone as soothing as possible despite the fact that he’s worried sick. He hears you sniffle.

“A-are you coming?” His heart breaks at the hope in your voice. His hand fists his sheets.

“I can’t, baby. Not like this.”

When you weep, it almost feels like Jeonghan’s soul is shattering. His alpha howls, claws at him, and for the first time in his life, Jeonghan wants to give in to the apex inside him.

“Omega, listen to me.” He knows the tone he is using. He hates to play on your instincts like this, but he needs you to survive this without him somehow. You quiet down instantly at the deep timbre in his voice, so he keeps going.

“Joshua is on his way. He will take care of you, get you more meds and food. You’ll get through this, and then we can talk about it, okay?”

You sniffle. When you talk, your voice is thready and frail. “But alpha….”

“Baby,” Jeonghan coos again. When you whine, he feels the base of his stomach stir. “You’ll be a good girl for me?”

That does something. “Yes. Yes, alpha.”

Jeonghan sighs with some form of relief finally. He stays on the phone with you, gives you endless reassurances until he hears Joshua in the background. When you’re distracted by the beta, he hangs up. He stares at the wall for a long time, running everything that just happened in his head.

Jeonghan is rarely shaken by everything, but this shakes him. He knows for a fact that he can’t stay away from you after this. You’re his, and he’s tired of slowplaying it.

It takes a week for your heat to wane. It’s agonising, but Joshua helps as much as he can, getting you through it without calling Jeonghan again. He feeds you, even runs you a bath. Towards the end of it, you break down, feeling guilty for subjecting him to this. He immediately reprimands you, telling you he doesn’t mind and he wants to help you in any way that he can. But you’re embarrassed. You had worked so hard to make sure he didn’t see you like this, yet he did. Pair that with the fact that you called Jeonghan and poured your heart out to him, you feel like this heat has changed everything permanently.

You don’t even know if you can look Jeonghan in the eye again.

He texts you on Sunday night, saying he will be at your place first thing in the morning so you can head to campus together as usual. You don’t reply. Frankly, you don’t want to speak to him. You’re mortified at the fact that you called him while in heat, essentially begging him to fuck you. It’s deeply shameful, and you hate yourself for it. You stare at Jeonghan’s text, contemplating. When Joshua plops down on the couch next to you with dinner, you turn to him.

“Can you text Jeonghan that I’m not feeling well, so I can’t go to class tomorrow?”

Joshua gives you a tired look. “You can’t avoid him forever, you know?”

Of course you know. But you’re not ready yet. Just the thought of it brings you to the brink of humiliating tears. You plead with Joshua. He sighs and nods, doing as you say.

Jeonghan, of course, doesn’t listen.

You wake up the next day with a start. You didn’t set an alarm, since you had no intention of going to class. The sun is shining through the windows, indicating that you’re well into the morning. The smell of eggs is wafting into your room, and confusion riddles your body. Joshua had classes this morning, so he shouldn’t be home right now.

You’re shocked when you walk out of the room and are met with the sight of Jeonghan’s back, clad in a huge black hoodie that he’s swimming in, and grey sweats. Half his hair is pulled up in a ponytail, the other half down, brushing his neck. He doesn’t turn around, back shifting as he scrambles the eggs in a pan. Sizzling sounds fill the kitchen.

“Morning.” His voice sounds cheerful and light. He pulls the pan off the heat, dumping the eggs on a plate. He turns around to place it on the kitchen island. “Sit.”

You hesitate. “What are you-”

“Sit, omega.”

Your voice dies in your throat. You pull a stool out. He sets a fork down and you promptly start eating while he makes another batch for himself. Everything is silent.

Finally, Jeonghan joins you on the counter and sits across from you, focused on shoveling his breakfast into his mouth. You don’t say a word either, feeling exhaustion tug at your limbs. You’re tired of this, whatever this is.

“I presented when I was sixteen, just like everyone else.” Jeonghan speaks up, still focused on his plate. Your movements slow as you listen to him.

“But I still knew something about me was different. I knew it not just because everyone told me, but because something inside me was convinced I wasn’t like everyone else. And I hated it.”

“Everything I did in life, I deliberately went against my nature. I talked differently, carried myself differently, I wanted to be just like every other alpha.”

His eyes tick up suddenly, and you’re taken aback by the genuine firmness in his features. “Then I met you, and I saw how every other alpha behaved around you, how they looked at your patches weird, and I realised I never wanted to be like any of them. Me being an apex alpha meant I could take care of you in a way none of these other fuckers can.”

Apex alpha.

So that’s what he meant, when he said he was different like you. That’s why your scent didn’t bother him even when he took your patch off, and why he said he actually liked your unfiltered essence. You have heard of apex alphas all your life, but only in passing, everyone claiming an apex would be a prime omega’s perfect match. You understand now, why you’ve always felt a pull around Jeonghan even though all other alphas scared you. You were convinced it was because of him being this incredible, kind and understanding person. And it was. But the revelation of his biology eases your guilt at wanting him so much. Suddenly, it makes sense that your omega yearns for him so badly.

“Where’d you go, beautiful?” His voice breaks you from your thoughts. He’s watching you with that soft smile on his face, and it hits you acutely that he always looks at you like this. Like you’re precious. Instead of that sour, disdainful look you’ve been leveled with your whole life. You don’t know what to say to him. But you feel like crying. And maybe he can tell.

“I want to love you the way you deserve to be loved, angel.” He says, stare steadfastly on you. “If you’ll let me. If you’ll have me.”

You can feel your face crumple. For the first time in years, you feel like an invisible burden is being lifted from your shoulders. Slowly, and with the weight of all the pain you’ve endured, you nod.

Jeonghan’s smile brings a sense of finality with it. His hand is soft but sure when it curls around yours.

…………………………………..

“You two are the actual definition of a power couple.”

“It’s like the perfect match. It’s so perfect that no one would believe it.”

“I don’t even think there are enough apex alphas or prime omegas in the world to actually pair them up.”

“Dude, you’re going to give birth to super babies or some shit.”

“Soonyoung!” You scold your friend for that last comment while Jeonghan just lets out a throaty laugh. You can feel the vibration on your back where his front is pressed against you. He squeezes you a little, placating you. But you still feel flustered, your face flaming at your friends’ quips about your very new relationship with Jeonghan. It wasn’t even a proper relationship. He’s courting you, the bracelet on your wrist he gave you this morning an indication of the fact that you are now his. You were surprised when he pulled it out after you finished breakfast.

“You were that sure I would say yes?” You had asked, incredulous. He had only smiled, and his confidence made your heartbeat speed up.

There is no point hiding it from your friend group, but you kind of regret telling them about it immediately. Soonyoung and Seungkwan have been particularly insufferable, and everyone else is egging them on. It’s embarrassing, but Jeonghan is thoroughly enjoying himself, even agreeing with some of their outlandish remarks. He keeps you pressed tightly against him, his cheek brushing the side of your head, and you bask in his warmth. Across from where you stand, Joshua has a relieved smile on his face.

You return it, feeling giddy.

Mingyu is quick to announce that dinner is ready, and everyone splits up around the house with their plates after filling them up to their liking. You stand over the kitchen counter and eye the many dishes he and Seokmin have prepared, wondering what you want to eat. Everyone is already seated in the living room. Your stomach is a little queasy, so you don’t have an appetite.

You feel a hand brush your side, making you jump a little. Jeonghan chuckles.

“Just me.” His voice hits your ear. You feel the back of your neck heat up.

“Sorry. I’m not used to it yet.”

He hums and gives you a reassuring squeeze. You feel his cheek on your shoulder.

“Why aren’t you eating?”

You shrug. “All the excitement of today, I guess. I feel a little restless.”

He rubs over your side, quiet for a brief moment. You eye the dishes and contemplate not eating at all.

“I could help with the restlessness.”

You turn your head to look at the alpha curiously. “How do you mean?”

Jeonghan’s eyes dart between yours for a few seconds. “Do you trust me?”

You nod immediately. “Of course.”

His hand reaches up and he runs his thumb over the brown patch on your neck. You still, not moving a muscle, but also not stopping him. Carefully, he tugs on the corner of it before slowly peeling it off. You grit your teeth, feeling exposed. Behind you, you can hear talking and laughter in the next room. No one seems to have noticed that you and Jeonghan aren’t there.

You feel his breath right over your scent gland as he brushes your hair off your neck. It makes you gasp, something sizzling under your skin. Jeonghan’s hand runs comfortingly over your waist. Then, he leans down and gives you a chaste kiss. Your knees feel weak. Your vision swims just a little.

His tongue is tentative as he licks over you, but just that slightest touch immediately alters the scent, both of yours mixing together in this delicious amalgam that tickles your nose pleasantly. Your head lolls back onto his shoulder, and it encourages him to flatten his tongue more firmly over your neck. You feel your muscles go pliant, and he uses his other hand to steady you as you lean your weight on him.

It feels like forever, though you’re sure it’s only a few minutes before Jeonghan pulls away. He doesn’t replace the scent patch, instead crumpling it and shoving it into his pocket. You blink through your haze. You would question him if your tongue wasn’t already rubber. He lays a soft kiss on your temple.

“You don’t need it. You smell like me now.”

It’s true. You do. Even you can tell. You let Jeonghan pile your plate with food and lead you back to the living room, pulling you into his lap so both of you can eat off the same plate. It’s intimate, and normally you would be more conscious around your friends, but his scent has left you strangely buzzing and docile, and you let him gently feed you, zoning in and out of conversation as you bask in your alpha’s presence. For the first time in seemingly forever, your omega is silent, revealing in this strange but welcome feeling.

Your friends hide their smiles under bites of food. Jeonghan squeezes you tightly. You let yourself drift off.

…………………………..

There’s not really room to take things slow in a relationship when you’re a prime omega. Especially not when your omega latches on to the fact that you have an alpha now, who is more than willing to take care of you come your next heat. For a while, your cycle has been fucked up and getting worse. So it seems like as soon as you’re used to Jeonghan’s intimate presence, your omega decides it needs more and pushes your body into a heat.

Jeonghan realises it is happening before you do, nose twitching as he registers the slight damp quality in your scent. Something in him shifts with unease, a strange feeling of anticipation. You’re none the wiser, eyes glued to the movie playing on the screen. It’s date night, and Jeonghan had brought the food while you set up the movie. Said food was now devoured, empty plates on the coffee table before you. There’s still a good chunk of the movie left, and you’re fully engrossed in it. Jeonghan was too, until he noticed how warm you are where your side is pressed against him. You’re usually on the warmer side, but this time it’s enough to make him notice. He eyes the side of your face discreetly, immediately seeing the very faint line of sweat building on your temples and the back of your neck. He watches you huff and pull your hair up, shaking it a bit because of the sweat. You're irritated.

He reaches an arm around you and brushes his thumb gently over your scent gland. You’re very used to this by now, and he feels you relax into him immediately. His scent calms you down, a fact that he’s very proud of, and loves teasingly exploiting from time to time.

It doesn’t last though. You fidget after a few minutes, eyebrows pulling together in a furrow. The muscles in your thighs are stiffening, and there’s a certain discomfort in your stomach. You wonder if it was the food, but quickly dismiss the thought when you feel that familiar twinge in your lower stomach, one that you can recognise instantly because of how often you are plagued by it.

Oh my god.

You sit up, feeling apprehension claw at you as you realise what is happening. The movie is all but forgotten, and you’re hyperaware of the fact that Jeonghan is right there. In fact, that’s making you feel even worse. Where it would normally take hours for your discomfort to swell and morph into a full heat, Jeonghan’s scent in the air seems to egg it on. You do some mental calculations quickly, dread filling you when you realise it has been a mere three weeks since your last one. And you remember how rough that was. Just the thought of going through another one like that makes you want to weep.

You feel a hand on your lower back, the exact area that’s starting to ache a little. Jeonghan applies pressure, and it brings temporary ease with it.

“I can help. But only if you want me to.”

You turn your head to look at your alpha. His face is open and blank. He isn’t being judgmental at all, but you feel mortification anyway. You hate that you’re like this. You hate that you can’t form a solid, comfortable relationship with Jeonghan without this being such a big factor. You still remember the horrifying ordeal of the last heat where you cried to him over the phone.

“Hey.” Maybe he senses your trepidation, because he leans forward, winding his arm around your waist and laying a chaste kiss on your forehead. His very proximity feels like balm on your irritated skin. He looks you dead in the eyes as he speaks.

“I want to help you, angel. But only if you’re ready. I don’t want you to go into heat to make this decision. Your head is clear right now, so you can tell me what you want. It’s all up to you.”

You bite the inside of your cheek, contemplating. You don’t know what to say, how to voice your fears. Your heats are intense, and absolutely unbearable for you or anyone in the vicinity. Why would Jeonghan want to be anywhere near you at a time like that?

When you voice your concern, he only laughs, but not unkindly.

“I’m pretty sure I can handle it.” He gives you a wink. “I’m different, you know?”

His confidence is a little reassuring, but you still hesitate. Jeonghan sighs and leans forward, bumping his forehead lightly to yours.

“My sweet girl, you have no idea how badly I want you.”

Your breath catches. His scent invades you, the reassuring mix of leather and vanilla in your nose. So you make up your mind and nod. You are choosing to trust him with every part of you, even the part you can’t bear to look at yourself.

Jeonghan carries you to your room even though you insist that you are fine right now. He helps make a nest, lamenting a little that there aren't more of his clothes at your place that he can fit into your nest.

“It’s okay, you can get your fill straight from the source.” He jokes, tilting his head back and tapping his neck. You giggle.

His attempts to lighten the mood work. He sheds his hoodie until he is left with just a thin shirt and pants, climbing into the nest with you. You’ve never had anyone inside, but it feels so right to have Jeonghan here. He wraps you up tightly in his arms by spooning you, laying little kisses on your face and neck, whatever patch of skin he can find, until you feel like he has squeezed the discomfort out of you. He calls Joshua and tells him to fuck off for a few days, to which your roommates only jokingly sighs and agrees. You tell him you feel bad about keeping Joshua away from his own home for a week at a time, and he gives you this sleazy smirk that sends a tingle of something pleasant down your spine.

“Oh darling, it won’t last a week this time. I’ll make sure of it.”

You swallow tightly, pressing your thighs together. He notices, because Jeonghan notices everything, and you feel his large hand splay over your bare thigh, fingertips toying with the hem of your shorts.

“Think it’ll be good for you if I make you cum right now.” His lips brush the shell of your ear from behind. You arch your back into him. You’re getting wet at an alarming rate, like your omega is just raring to give in to the alpha curled around you. His hand travels up, presses into the cotton of your shorts right at the crotch. You twitch at the feeling, eyes closing. You’re breathing heavily, and you know your heat is right around the corner. It seems Jeonghan’s plan is to nip it in the bud before it even hits full force.

His hand slides under the waistband of your shorts, sliding through your slit. You feel him groan into your ear.

“So wet already. Has my little omega been waiting for this?”

You can feel, in real time, your brain turn to mush as Jeonghan’s fingers rub over your cunt and find your clit. He toys with it between two fingers, and you whine, hips jerking. He squeezes, enough to jolt you, making you gasp.

“You’ll answer me when I ask you a question, got it?”

Your omega preens. Your eyes roll up. “Yes, alpha.”

“Good girl.”

You wonder if it’s the apex in him that’s making him rough and territorial like this, influenced by your heat. You could cum just like this. But he gives you more. He swivels his fingers over your throbbing nub, rubbing side to side just the way you like it. You don’t know how he knows, but you’re grateful for it, because it takes only a few minutes for your high to catch up to you. You want to let go, but you’re neck deep in Jeonghan’s pheromones, and the primal part of you tells you to not dare do it without your alpha’s permission. So, like the good girl he claims you are, you ask.

“Alpha,” you gasp against his precise fingers, hips undulating, listening to his wet and filthy it sounds. Jeonghan hums in question, licking over the shell of your ear. His strong arm holds you in place, and you only have so much wiggle room under his grip. You feel you can’t breathe as you plead with him, asking if you can cum. His lips stretch where they are pressed against the skin below your ear. His arm that was holding you comes up, grips your jaw tightly and tilts your head back so he can run his tongue over your lips. Your eyes fill with unshed tears.

“Such a quick learner.” He praises. “You know exactly what your alpha wants. Such a good omega, my perfect omega. Cum for me, darling. Come on.”

So you do. You gush over his hand, giving into the unrelenting pressure as he keeps rubbing harshly over your clit. He reaches his hand down and plunges two fingers inside your spamming cunt, grinding his palm on you to prolong your orgasm. You whine and twitch, digging your nails into his wrist, but he seems undeterred. He fingers you like that, not slowing for a single second even when you sob. Your high never really weans, being pulled longer and longer until you can’t differentiate where your first orgasm ends and your second one starts. All you know is that you’re wailing and twitching again, body convulsing so hard that Jeonghan has to almost roll on top of you to keep you in place, and he is finger fucking you through it as he whispers sweet praises in your ear. You gasp and nearly choke, vision swimming as you slowly come down. Finally, he buries his fingers deep inside you and stills.

For a long moment, you lay like that, half on your front, with Jeonghan draped over you. He pulls out gently and you gasp at how empty it feels. He plants a sweet kiss in your hair and finally separates from you, leaving your nest.

You can vaguely hear him moving around, going to the bathroom, the kitchen, more shuffling before he joins you in the nest again. You’re half dozing at this point, but he manages to coax some water into you before you fully fall asleep. He holds you through it, cuddling into you and taking advantage of your break to nap as well. When you wake up again, you’re feverish and sweaty, and Jeonghan is ready to give you what your omega has wanted all its life. A knot.

He kisses you slowly and tenderly as he undresses you, making sure to not let your omega get restless. His own clothes follow, and you’re surprised by how toned he is. He always hides under bulky clothes, so you didn’t anticipate this. Jeonghan is strong, and very athletic, you know this, but you expected him to be skinny, not deliciously lean like this.

He smirks when he catches you looking, finally tugging off his pants. Your mouth waters at the sight of his cock. He’s huge, throbbing and ready for you, flushed an angry deep pink color that has you clenching around nothing. Your body is more than ready for him, breaths already leaving you in ragged gasps as you try to retain your sanity.

“Ready, baby?” He’s only called you that once before, when you were in the throes of a heat, whispered prettily over the phone. Of his wide roster of petnames for you, you definitely love this one the most, especially the way he says it so sweetly. It takes all your effort to not keen, but it’s not possible to hold back, especially when he hooks one of your legs over his shoulder and slowly presses inside you, his cock carving through your desperate, spongy walls. You moan at the same time he does, revelling in the feeling. He brushes over every delicious spot inside you, making your toes curl. Your omega whines, just the relief of being filled up is so acute and so massive that your back arches and, without a warning, you cum.

Jeonghan curses over you, immediately moving. He wants to prolong your high, because he noticed that your heat broke for a good while after being properly stimulated. He fucks the orgasm right through you, and your body scrambles to process it all. It feels so unbelievably good, deliriously good, that you can’t believe you held out without this for so long. And it’s not just his cock, not just the fact that an alpha is fucking you through your heat, but it’s because this is Jeonghan. Your omega trusts him, yearns for him, and he takes that responsibility seriously, holding your body down and pounding into you just the way his alpha knows you want. You believe with complete certainty that no alpha on the planet can do you the way he does, anticipating your needs before you can even vocalise them, before you can even feel it yourself. It’s only him, and as he leans down to press his forehead against yours, his breaths heavy as his hips snap into yours over and over, you know this is it for you. Jeonghan is your endgame. He always has been, you just didn’t know it.

“Alpha,” you weep. Jeonghan groans.

“My pretty girl.” He rasps. You can see how dilated his pupils are, the flush rising up from his chest, to his neck and ears. He’s sweating, groaning, cursing as his cock indulges your pulsing, greedy pussy.

“I love you.” He breathes. You whine at his words. “Loved you for so long. Always knew you would be mine. My omega. Mine.”

Your leg, pressed between your bodies where it’s thrown over your shoulder, is joined by your other one as he maneuvers you into a mating press. His angle shifts in the position, and you can’t hold it any longer. You cum again, soaking his cock, making the base swell up so that finally, finally, Jeonghan bullies his fat knot into you, cumming so hard his whole body curls forward.

The whole room smells like sweat, sex, and dense alpha pheromones. Jeonghan’s presence is undeniable, so all encompassing that it overtakes even yours. He finally relaxes over you, catching his breath while he runs his tongue over your scent glands. You let him, enjoying the feeling, this indirect way of him laying his claim on you. Lying here, uninhibited and with your omega finally quiet after years and years of silent torture, you imagine what it would be like if Jeonghan were to claim you, in the concrete and sure way that alphas do by biting their omegas. The thought of being linked to another person for life should freak you out, but it doesn’t. Not when the person in question is Jeonghan. He already has your heart. He has taken your body too. There’s nothing you wouldn’t give to him, including the rest of your life.

When Jeonghan teasingly nips at the skin right over your scent glands, it feels like a silent promise that he wants the exact same thing. For the first time in your life, the future doesn’t seem bleak.

🏷️: @picheolin-17 , @lovelylonelinesssvt , @scarlettveemin , @shad0wcast , @iluvhosh , @littlebluehellfire , @jimzk , @lucis-noctiana , @hannieweee , @xh01bri , @ilseamamuchoamingyu , @bleudandelion , @huihye , @markoplolo , @moondustmemories , @kaitieskidmore97 , @hocidust , @missaoki , @cheolwoo , @isaltedcarameows , @huiimoon , @tranquillitysoul , @weasleytwins-41 , @igetcarriedawaywithyou , @ateez-atiny380 , @piratekingateez2001 , @kpetts , @k4trinabluu , @sunnysidesins , @embrace-themagic , @escoupsue , @hxsxxk-180294 , @wxnderingthoughts , @meanieislife , @jiminie-08 , @w0nw0es , @lostinfakescenarios , @secret1234505 , @redemptions , @haoxiaoba , @junnhuisworld , @gojominn , @peachy-writings, @dreamingofpcy , @woozidreams , @booscafe , @tiffanylstrobel , @sannidokki , @dkstar

[starlightxsvt]

Sweetest Salvation | y.jh

synopsis ➠ he has lured your brother into his hellish cult. it is up to you to save him—only if you can save yourself first. because jeonghan has his eyes on you, and he will get you. and break you, eventually.

pairing ➠ cult leader!jeonghan x librarian female!reader

genre ➠ dark romance, thriller, smut, small town au.

word count ➠ 10.3k + 1k (patreon bonus)

warnings ➠ READ CAREFULLY ! cults, mention of blood, cultist activities like seance, sacrifice, etc., drinking, cursing, stalking, severe manipulation, gaslighting, blasphemy, propaganda?? brainwashing, cursing, drinking, huge betrayal, unresolved trauma, mention of murder, muder attempt, fingering in a confession booth, dubcon ig? fingering, hickeys, nipple play, edging, orgasm denial, use of pet names, pussy eating, female degradation(slut, whore), hand necklace, sadism and masochism, big dicc jh, rough sex, unprotected sex, overstimulation, sex in a church, slapping, spitting, multiple orgasms. a/n: this fic contains blasphemous themes, so please do not interact if uncomfortable. it also contains inaccurate descriptions of catholic systems, so please do not take this seriously. it is a work of fiction!

His eyes are unbelievably kind for someone so…despicable. 

From behind a tree, you observe him, how he kneels down to talk to an older couple, giving them a brochure while explaining something with gestures — all smiles.

You hold your breath, your hands fisted at your sides.

The man —Yoon Jeonghan —runs a cult.

You would not have believed it, you had not, in fact, until yesterday. Your brother has been acting suspiciously for a while now, coming home late, not attending his classes, always keeping the door to his room locked, avoiding you—the list goes on. Yesterday was the tipping point. It was your mother’s death anniversary and when he was yet to show up after midnight, you decided to break into his room with the spare key.

Maybe it would have been better if you hadn’t, because that would let you continue to live your life in the shelter of ignorance. The evidence was bright and shining, pictures of animal sacrifice, blood pacts, your documents and contracts stating your brother’s allegiance to some institution and its temple, weird robes and hats and whatnot.

Sure, you have been hearing the rumours for a long time, ever since you moved in here two years ago, to be precise. This is a small town, consisting mostly of old people. Nothing really happens here—no events, no tourists. Just everyone minding their business, which is one of the reasons why you decided to move here with your brother. 

You needed the quiet, the lack of attention. Sure, you had to leave your comfortable job as a university teacher in the city. But you wanted the peace over the money. For you and your brother. A place where no one would recognize you and let you be.

And everything was going well. You have secured a job at the local library as the head librarian and the bookkeeper, while your brother attends the community college. The pay is a downgrade from your previous job, but with the low living costs here, you two have been getting by comfortably. 

Until this happened.

How did your brother fall into this scheme?

“Isn’t he the sweetest?” A woman’s voice drags you out of your thoughts. You turn around to find Jieun, a middle-aged lady who manages this hospice. “He has been volunteering here regularly for a while now.”

You blink, unable to find a sober reply to her words.

“You should join us sometime.” She offers. “Bring your brother with you as well. What was his name again?”

“Chan.” You mutter.

“Right! Little Channie. How is he doing?”

“Good.” You whisper, eyes going back to Jeonghan, who is now pushing a woman in a wheelchair back inside.

“How long has he been living here, in this town?” You ask with a quick jut of your chin, trying your best to seem nonchalant.

“Hmm, I don’t know.” She ponders for a second. “It has been about seven or eight years, I guess. He has been a gem for this town, you know? Such a gentleman. Very reliable too.” She goes on and on about his qualities, which you tune out, your eyes intently set on the hospice building, waiting to catch a glimpse of him.

“You know, aunty,” you cut her off, staring at her with your most unimpressed look. “I used to think the same about him. Until I heard what he has been doing around town.”

“Whatever do you mean?”

“He runs a cult.” You state, looking her dead in the eye. Jieun’s face morphs, changing into a look of disapproval, borderline disgust. “You should not believe everything you hear, young lady.”

“What if I saw it with my own eyes?”

She pauses. In a dark, menacing tone, she says, “He has done a lot for us. He always has our best interests at heart. I do hope you remember that.”

Without another word, she marches off, leaving you feeling jittery. You take a second to gather your thoughts and when you look back at the hospice building, Jeonghan stands in the front, looking right at you.

You jolt, unnerved by his blank but piercing gaze, shivers going down your spine. He stands as still as a statue, his face devoid of anything human, his eyes focused on you, in a way as if he can see inside your mind, read the thoughts you are having.

You are short of breath. Jeonghan seems to have that effect on you.

—

You have had quite a few interactions with Jeonghan before.

He would come by the library often, borrowing books every two weeks or so. Art, philosophy, history, religion—he read it all. You looked forward to seeing him. Probably because he possessed an undeniable charm, his outgoing, flirty personality and his effortlessly good looks did make you feel something harmless in your belly. But also because you had intelligent conversations with him, though brief, for a minute or two, reminding you of your old life. There were not a lot of young people around, and those who were around were not the most interested in your interests. Nerdy interests, as your brother liked to put it.

Jeonghan never asked too many questions, never misbehaved, never acted weird. Nothing to hint that he is running a literal cult behind the scenes. But now that you know his true self, you realize you always thought there was something peculiar about his gaze. Something sinister. Something dark and depraved always lingered in his eyes whenever he looked at you — his ever-present smile never really reaching his eyes.

Was he feeling you out? Trying to understand if you would be a good victim? Were you too smart for him? Is that why he went after your brother and not you?

Thoughts of all sorts plague your mind as you sit on your couch and stare mindlessly at the TV, a glass of wine swirling in your hand. 

It is almost twelve at midnight and your brother is yet to return home. It feels like one of those days where he will not, in fact, come home at night. He has started doing this lately, not coming home at night and every time you have confronted him, it has led to arguments only.

“I stay at a friend’s house, okay? He is really nice. I like to stay over there.” This was all he said. You have a growing feeling that the friend he talks about is Jeonghan. You heard he lives near the church in a two-storey house. For a moment, you consider going over there and demanding to be let inside but give up on that plan.

You do not want to give Jeonghan the idea that you know what he is doing. No, you want to keep playing oblivious, acting like usual with him. Maybe you should play the damsel in distress? That should get you his attention and maybe even bring you into his clique of goat-worshipping people. After all, cult leaders love to prey on vulnerable people.

Though you have not thought this plan through. You are yet to figure out what you will do after you join his cult. Calling the police does not feel like the best option, so you are left with making the evidence public. Maybe you could film something or take pictures and upload them to social media? That would at least garner attention and bring some people into town to see things for themselves. That would force Jeonghan to hide or relocate, no?

You take a sip of wine, swirling the liquid in your mouth before switching off the TV. It is a quarter past twelve now. 

You pad over to the window with your glass, mindlessly moving aside the curtain and gazing out. The street is dark and lifeless, the faint yellow glow of the streetlamp making it appear even more haunting. It takes another second for you to process that someone is standing outside.

On your lawn.

You choke on your breath, instinctively stepping away from the window.

Fuck. You swear someone is standing outside— not an apparition but something real. It could not be a hallucination, right? Setting the glass down, you reach for the curtain once more with shaky hands. Moving it aside a couple of inches, you peer outside, and the hairs on your neck stand upright.

Yes, someone is outside, standing still on your lawn. Someone who is wearing a red cloak, the hoodie covering their face. It is bone-chillingly eerie, the way the figure stands so very still. Just as you are debating calling the police, the figure slowly starts walking. 

Thankfully, away from your house. The figure slowly walks back onto the street, their steps leisurely, almost looking like they are floating with the way the red cloak drags against the road. 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

You slump down on the floor, your heart racing in your chest, perspiration beading down your temples.

What has your brother gotten himself into?

—

“I am going to the mass,” Chan announces as he walks past you to get to the kitchen counter and pours himself a glass of orange juice.

You set your phone and close the notebook you had in front of you — littered with your notes about cults — and turn around to stare at your brother.

“You are going to church?” You cannot hide the incredulity in your voice.

“Yes.” He continues drinking his juice without turning around.

Chan was never religious—no one in your family was. So this sudden interest in church makes you alarmed.

“Did Jeonghan convince you to go?”

Your brother finally turns around and regards you with a quizzical look, as if he is surprised to hear his name from your mouth. For a long few seconds, he stares at you before saying matter-of-factly, “Jeonghan is leading the sermon today.”

Right. You have heard that he leads Sunday sermons sometimes. 

Chan walks past you, heading for the door. In a split second, you make a decision. “Give me five minutes to get ready. I will come with you.”

—

As you expected, the church is crowded. 

The sermon is about to start when you step in with your brother. The two of you take a seat at one of the back pews. It has been a long, long time since you have been inside a church, so you feel slightly out of place—eye skirting around the crowd before landing at the very front, at the altar, which is graced by Jeoghan.

Dressed in a white robe with intricate gold details, he is the picture of holiness, an image of purity in front of the crucifix. The fabric falls in clean lines to his ankles, bright against the darker wood of the altar around him. Thin gold embroidery runs along the edges and cuffs, and a narrow stole hangs straight from his shoulders, its trim catching the daylight streaming through the high windows. All smiles and bows, he greets everyone, his eyes scanning the room before finally spotting you at the back.

Your breath hitches as his eyes lock with yours.

You swear the look in his eyes shifts. The earlier kindness and light seem to disappear, taken over by something dark — the look of a predator about to devour his prey. The smile is still there, ever-present but your body remains tense, heart galloping under his ruthless gaze.

Suddenly, you are transported to last night, standing at the window and looking at the figure standing in your lawn. The longer you look at Jeonghan, the more you have a sinking feeling that it was him. You have no proof, just a sinking, suffocating feeling in your gut, alarm bells going off in your head in full volume. 

The sermon starts. And ends. Everything is a blur for you. Jeonghan’s voice, the hums of the prayers, the sunlight seeping through the antique windows—everything is suffocating.

The more you look around you, the realization strengthens. Maybe this entire town is in the cult. They are all a part of a bigger conspiracy, of which you and your brother are victims. You have seen the movies, read the books. Someone is always the sacrifice. Maybe this time, it is you.

“Noona?” Chan’s voice jolts you back to reality. He is standing up, looking down at you with annoyance, “What are you thinking so hard about?”

“Huh?”

You look around and see people walking out of the church. Right. The show is over.

“Sorry,” you murmur, standing up and slinging your bag over your shoulder. You step towards the door with Chan trailing after you, until a voice calls out, “Chan!”

You stop in your tracks, not turning around immediately. 

It is Jeonghan. You need to get your head in the game.

Turning around, you find him jogging towards you two, his expression cheerful. He pats your brother’s shoulder, all smiles, “So glad you joined us today. Hope I did not bore you.”

Your brother chuckles, “Not at all, hyung. It was inspiring.”

“Very happy to hear that.” Jeonghan ruffles his hair before glancing at you. “I see you brought your sister today.”

“Yeah, she wanted to come along.”

“The more the merrier.” He flashes a dashing smile at you. “I hope it was bearable for you.”

Your heart races, whether from the nerves or his smile, you are unsure. “I enjoyed it. As Chan said, it was inspiring.” You smile, doing your best to appear docile and pliant, hoping he does not see through your lie.

“I am flattered.” He puts a hand on his heart and does a curtsy. “I hope to see you around often.”

You smile. Suddenly, Chan’s phone starts ringing, and he excuses himself, leaving you alone with the devil.

But also giving you an opportunity.

You take a small step closer to Jeonghan, fidgeting with your fingers. “Um…how should I address you? Pastor? Father?”

His eyes shine. “Just Jeonghan is fine, ___. I just lead some sermons every now and then.”

It's unnerving, the way he says your name, voice dripping with an irresistible concoction of honey and poison. You hear your heartbeat in your ears. “I…want to share something with you.” You do your very best to appear vulnerable and hesitant, like you are letting him in on a special secret. “I hope you will keep it a secret. It is regarding my brother.”

He comes one step closer, just enough for you to feel the warmth radiating off him, and the subtle smell of his cologne tickling your nose. “What is it?”

“Uh,” you look around the empty church before locking your eyes with his. “I think he has gotten into some sort of cult.”

You swear his eyes flash. Dangerously. “What? Really?”

You nod. “He is always out and I found some things in his bedroom. Pictures of…rituals.” You remain cautious, not to mention the documents you found with Jeonghan’s name clearly written in them. 

“That’s concerning. Have you talked to him about it?” He sounds genuinely worried. And for a second, you second-guess yourself. What if it is Jeonghan? You actually have no definitive proof that it is him, just some hunch based on some floating rumours.

You shake your head. 

“Would you like me to talk to him about it?” He asks, ever the gentleman. With his soft voice of concern, the grave expression on his face, and his white outfit, he is the picture of salvation. Once again, your heart acts up.

“I would really appreciate that.” You whisper, giving him your best doe eyes. Jeonghan nods, determined. You don’t miss the way his gaze shifts for a second, towards your chest. You wore this sundress on purpose today — pink and frilly, slightly low-cut, not too scandalous for the church, but showing just enough skin than you usually do.

“Thank you, Jeonghan.” You whisper. 

“You are most welcome,” he pauses. This time, his gaze is unabashed as he takes a slow, thorough look from your chest to your face. “I will see you next Sunday?”

“Sure.” 

“Good.”

—

For the next few days, Chan acts abnormally normal. He attends classes, returns home on time and even has dinner with you at the dining table. 

As pleased as you are with this change, you also start feeling extremely confused. Have you truly gone paranoid? Did you misread something? Because what could be the reason behind this sudden change in Chan, if not Jeonghan counselling him?

However, something in you tells you that things are not as simple as they seem. Which is why, on Thursday night, when Chan announces after dinner that he is going to step out for a bit, you decide to trust your gut. You let him go without asking much, fully intent on following him.

He steps out of the house and after a few minutes, you do too, trailing after him while maintaining a safe distance. The streets are fairly empty, with a few cars going down the road, so there is no way for you to lose him. 

Tonight has to be the night. You have second-guessed yourself enough, trapped in your confusion and Jeonghan’s manipulative charm, going round and round in search of the truth. That’s how cult leaders are—they play with your mind till it is broken. You need to see for yourself if it is truly him, and if it is, you are ready to document everything.

Chan continues walking, past the church and the slightly upper-class neighbourhood and into the small forest right at the outskirts of town. The deeper he goes into the forest, the bigger you create the distance between the two of you. You know there are people ahead. There is a constant hum of chatter and you see a glow of warm yellow light, which is of a fire, you realize once you are close enough.

It almost looks like a campfire. There are about thirty people gathered around it, looking like they are middle-aged or older. It seems harmless at first—just a bunch of people hanging around a fire until it does not. They start donning their robes, a black cloak, long and baggy, covering every inch of their skin. With the hoodie on, everyone becomes the same, and Chan is lost in the sea of faceless black.

You have yet to see Jeonghan, increasing your agitation. Would it even be possible to spot him in this crowd of people?

From your spot behind a pine tree, you shift, taking a few careful steps closer. With the looks of it, they seem to be preparing for a seance as one person starts lighting candles, placing them on the ground in the shape of a pentagon. Another person goes around the crowd, handing some sort of an item to everyone. A dagger? You cannot say for sure.

You start snapping pictures anyway.

In a few minutes, the preparation is done, and everyone stands in a particular formation, some at the points of the pentagon and others in a circle surrounding the pentagon. 

And then, with your tension at its peak, finally, you are graced with the sight of him.

Yoon Jeonghan.

He appears from the other side of the forest, dressed in a red velvet cloak, standing out in the sea of black. Without the head cover on, you see his face, bright and clear and your heartbeat skyrockets. It was him last night in front of your house. Swallowing a lump in your throat, you hold the phone still, recording a video as he steps into the middle of the pentagon.

You are not close enough to hear what he is saying, but it seems to be the commencement of the seance, with the way everyone hangs on to his words. 

The next few minutes are unnerving. They chant, they sing, their haunting echo of murmurs hanging in the air. You start to feel physically sick as a strong gust of wind flows by, as if something supernatural has arrived.

The fire burns stronger. The pages of a book they had open starts flapping. The unanimous voices grow louder. Until…they stop. Then, everyone pulls out a small dagger and, all together, slashes the palm of their hand, letting the blood gather onto what looks like a small earthen pot on the ground.

Shivers wrack down your spine. You have seen enough.

Soon, the crowd starts to break formation. You stop recording. They fall into a line behind Jeonghan, marching deeper into the forest. 

You don’t move. You have seen enough for one night—if not your whole life.

With your heart shuddering in your chest and bile rising in your throat, you jog in the opposite direction, surrounded by weird noises of the night and rustles of leaves which sound like whispers of apparitions.

—

Two days later, you are back in the church with Chan. 

The past two days have been tedious. After seeing everything firsthand, you had no desire to confront your brother, knowing full well it would go nowhere. You have also grown to be slightly afraid og him, of the new person he has become — unrecognizable and completely barren of all the childish glee you once associated with him. 

You have not been in the best of health either, with a headache tormenting you every now and then. One of the reasons for that is Jeonghan. He has made a permanent home in your mind, plaguing your thoughts night and day, keeping you in a loop.

It is exhausting, frankly. You have grown to be almost apathetic, wishing you could just leave everything behind and drag Chan out of this place. You miss the days when he was a kid. 

The sermon ends, and like the one before, you were too busy scowling at Jeoghan, thinking of all the ways you could crush him to the ground to pay any heed to the gospel. 

Today, Jeonghan does not come to see Chan afterwards. Instead, he disappears amongst the crowd as they flow past you and out the door. Chan also leaves and you don’t bother stopping him, sitting silently at the pew and staring at the crucifix. The place suddenly seems haunted, an eerie quietness taking over the air, which was brimming with the murmurs of the crowd a few minutes ago.

Mindlessly, you walk towards the altar, taking in your surroundings carefully — from the statues and candlesticks to the Rose window, and the intricate details of the ceiling. As you turn back toward the entrance, a dark wooden confessional set into the side wall catches your eye — narrow and unobtrusive. Almost unconsciously, your feet carry you towards the booth and you hesitate for a second, your hands stopping an inch away from the door.

What are you doing here?

You glance above the confessional, and with no light glowing, you decide to step in and take a seat. Inside the cramped space, you remain frozen for a few moments, observing the silhouette of the figure on the other side of the screen. 

“Peace be with you. You may begin when you are ready.” A quiet voice says from the other side.

“I…I don’t know what to say. It has been a while…” You whisper, fingers tightening on your lap, a part of you still wondering what possessed you to be here?

“What has been weighing on your heart? What ails you, my dear?”

You swallow, suddenly feeling emotional. Eyes focused on your shaky hands, you try to understand why you are so on edge. Was it only the recent events? Or was it the move in the first place? Or the fact that you had to leave behind a thriving job? Or the gruesome events that started this cursed chain in the first place?

You don’t know. The realization leaves you feeling helpless and frustrated. Your life has always been haunted — from the death of your mother when you were a child to the downward spiral of your father — everything has left you feeling bitter and exhausted. It is a bitter pill to swallow, bringing tears to your eyes.

All this struggle just to fail. You could not protect your brother. Maybe something is rotten in your blood—in this family’s blood. 

Quiet sobs fill the confession booth. You try to stifle them, covering your mouth with your hands, only to realize, the harder you try, the louder they get. You were never the religious type. Neither was your father. The last time you stepped into a church before last week was when your mother was alive. You have never been inside a confession booth, but right now, this feels like the only place that is safe — that can ease your burdened heart.

Or so you thought.

The door on your side is suddenly pulled open. There stands Jeonghan, in all his evil glory. You yelp, springing up, “What are you doing? I am confessing!”

“You were taking a lot of time, so I came to see you.”

“Wait…” you gulp. “You were behind the screen? Are you even allowed to take confessions?”

He gives a noncommittal shrug, stepping into the booth. Your heart beats faster as he comes closer to you in the already limited space. Without any words, he reaches out to your face, wiping a teardrop with his thumb before licking it. “Don’t cry, sweetheart.”

You swallow, “Stop this, please.” In an attempt to get away from him, you press yourself against the wall, but he only leans closer. Your clothes touch.

“Stop what?”

You inhale a shaky breath. “I know it is you.”

There is a dramatic shift in his gaze. You try to assure yourself that it is the lighting, but for a second, you swear his eyes go pitch black, a sadistic look taking over. His voice, however, remains as gentle as before. “What do you mean?”

“It was you!” You cry. “You were in front of my house the other night! You have lured my brother into your goddamn cult! It has been you this entire time.”

With a slow tilt of his head, he regards you with special care. The smirk on his lips grows centimeter by centimeter, “Oh, my sweet, poor child. It is okay. You are just stressed.”

Baffled at his audacity, at him cosplaying a priest, you gape at him and he gently cradles your head, pushing you towards his chest. Embracing you, he gingerly strokes the back of your head. Then, his demeanour shifts and with his lips against your ear, he whispers, “A smart little raven, aren’t you?”

You flinch away from him. The look on his face is the embodiment of evil, making you shiver from head to toe. He is the devil incarnate. 

“I swear to God—”

“Shhh,” he coos, pressing a finger against your lips and forcing you back into the wall, this time his body pressed against yours, effectively trapping you. “Hush, baby. It is okay. It will all be…okay.” He drawls, leaning towards your face. Taking you by sheer shock yet once again, he flicks out his tongue and drags it down your face, licking one side clean of all tears.

Your body reacts dangerously. You grow tense, your hands immediately forming fists, but a feeling blooms in your belly — something bordering on depravity and danger.

“You…” you grit your teeth, unable to find the right words. What can you do now? Scream? Cry? Slap him?

“Hush,” he shushes you again, holding his finger against your lip. “You are very stressed. So much so that you are imagining things. Let me help you out, hm?” His right hand touches your waist, before gently going south, feeling your thigh and then even lower. Grabbing onto your knee, he yanks your leg and wraps it around his waist, slipping his fingers under your skirt.

“You—” your voice is a mere squeak, mortified at what is happening. You are too stunned, barely even processing his actions. 

“Be a good girl,” he hums, resting his face against yours, his lips almost touching yours but not quite, leaving the ghost of warmth lingering. You feel his hand cupping you underneath the skirt, fingers brushing over your panties before pushing them to a side. Then, he presses his thumb right where it throbs the most and your breath hitches.

“Jeonghan, please, stop—” he puts his palm on your mouth. Pushing you harder against the wall, he rests his body weight on top of you, slipping one finger inside you while his thumb rubs your nub. It is a shame to realize you are wet, and the feeling is amplified by the look of sheer victory on his face. His eyes sparkle like black diamonds, “My little raven is wet, isn’t she?”

“No, I am not!” is what you say, but that is muffled by his palm on your mouth. He tsks, giving you a scolding look. “Dirty girl, why are you all wet inside a confession booth, hm?”

His index finger moves in and out of you, making you shiver and whine, before he slips another finger inside you. 

You don’t know what is wrong with you. He must have done something to you—yes, that is the only logical explanation. Your brain seems to have turned into mush, desire and a need for release overtaking every one of your senses until you are left as nothing but a needy mess. And the way he looks at you — looks through you unnerves you, taking your desire to new heights. 

“Do you feel how wet you are?” He hums. “You are soaking, baby. Do you need me that much?” He grins, lips curving upwards to reveal his pearly whites. He has three fingers moving mercilessly inside you, while his thumb continues to torture your clit, which grows more and more sensitive. Your fingers dig into his shoulder, holding on for dear life while your toes curl in your loafers.

You are like a woman possessed. The only thing that you can think of — that matters right now is your release. And only he can give you that. 

As if you were already not on edge enough, Jeonghan rests his head in the crook of your neck, his lips meeting your neck. He kisses and sucks, making his way upwards. “Does this feel good?” He whispers between kisses. Your answer, once again, remains muffled. 

“I know it does,” he continues. “I can feel that way you are shaking. God, you are so perfect, aren’t you?”

His fingers push deeper inside of you, curling against your sensitive walls. You writhe and whimper against him, eyes rolling towards the back of your head as your vision starts to blur. You feel it coming — one more touch on your clit and you would be gone. It seems that he knows that too, which is why, suddenly, he pulls away from you, completely. His fingers pop out of your pussy, and he steps back from you, leaving you quivering against the wall, looking at him with the most pitiful eyes.

“Wait…no, please—” you pant, wild eyes gaping at him. No, please—what is he doing?

He smirks, making a sound of amusement and scoffing. Not breaking eye contact with you, he pops his fingers into his mouth and slowly, tantalizingly so, licks them clean. Then, he has the audacity to give you an innocent smile, “You are the sweetest, my raven. Absolute perfection.”

Pausing, he takes a look at your shaking legs. “I hope to see you again soon.”

Like a gust of spring breeze, he is gone, closing the door with a soft click.

—

The first thing you do after getting home is play with yourself. 

You finally have your orgasm, but it feels nowhere near satisfactory, driving you to pure frustration. As you lie in your bed, staring at the ceiling, a haunting numbness engulfs you. 

This feels like a losing game, going much farther than you had originally anticipated. You were supposed to get Chan out of this fucking mess, but now you are the one tangled deeper in it. For God’s sake, you were not supposed to let Jeonghan finger your pussy inside a church.

The memory makes heat rise to your face, and before you succumb to the endless pit of sinful temptation, you stop that thought.

It is time to make a decision.

—

That night, Chan returns home just after you finish dinner. 

“Chan, come here.” You call out from the kitchen the moment he walks by. With a begrudging look on his face, he steps in while you finish doing the dishes. Inhaling a deep breath, you dry your hands and set the rag down before turning behind.

“We are leaving next week. Pack your things.”

He blinks. Slowly. For a moment, the only thing cutting through the silence is the ticking of the clock and the distant rumble of thunder outside.

“What did you say?”

“We are leaving.”

“What do you mean leaving?”

“It is exactly what you think. We are leaving this town. For good.”

He scoffs, raking a hand through his hair, “What the fuck are you talking about? Why would we leave? Did you get a new job or something?”

“It does not matter, Chan. I need you to pack your stuff.”

“Fuck no.” He hisses, eyes blazing.

“Excuse me?” You step closer to him.

“You are welcome to leave if you don’t like staying here. But I am not going anywhere. For fuck’s sake, I am an adult now. You cannot drag me wherever you please!”

Your nostrils flare. “Give me one good reason why you want to stay in this dead town.” You say quietly. Chan swallows, his defiant eyes locked with yours. Seconds tick by, and no response. You take another step closer to him. “Let me tell you why.” You come to a stand right in front of him. “Because you have been going around behind my back, joining fucking cults and doing god knows what in the dead of the night.” Your brother takes a step back, alarmed. You continue, seething, “Because you are enamoured by that fucking bastard Jeonghan. You hang onto his every word, going into the forest in the middle of the night, cutting your hand and making pacts. Do you think I am stupid? That I would never find out?”

A pause. Then he steps back, turning around as if he is done with this conversation.

“Don’t you dare walk away!” You cry. A thunder crashes nearby. “After everything I have done to protect you — after everything we have been through, how could you go and do something like this!”

“Exactly!” He yells, turning around. “After everything we have been through, this felt like the only right answer!”

“Have you lost your mind? Do you even know what you are saying?” You are incredulous.

“Oh, I am perfectly aware.” He grits his teeth, his face red, his eyes shining with unshed tears and anger. “You protected me? Don’t lie — you protected yourself. Everything you did, from all the lies to moving here, you did it to protect yourself and your reputation!”

You open your mouth to refute but his voice grows louder. “You were the one to turn away first. After everything happened, you treated me like a monster! It was you, not anyone else! You created a gap between us, avoiding me and then acting like everything was okay.”

“I did it to make you feel comfortable!”

“You made me feel like a monster! Like there was something actually wrong with me!” Chan starts pacing around, a hand grabbing onto his hair out of frustration. “Even after we moved here, you would go to the library early in the morning and come home late. You abandoned me. But it was with Jeoghan that I felt like I belonged.”

“You have lost your mind.” You whisper.

“So be it.” He seethes. “So what if I am in a cult? What is it to you? You made your decisions and I made mine. At least over there, I am not treated like a monster.”

“You are brainwashed.”

“Shut up!” He bellows. “Just shut up! You know nothing. You understand nothing. Over there, it is friendship, brotherhood, belonging.”

“Are you saying that you don’t belong here — with me? We are a family, for God’s sake.” You croak, tears gathering in your eyes.

He pauses. For a long moment, he gazes into your eyes. “It never once felt like home. Not with dad, not with you. But in that fucking cult, as you like to call it, it feels so.”

“Chan, please—”

“I am staying here.” He announces, stepping away. “And I am done talking to you. Don’t show me your face again.” He hisses before marching towards his room, shutting the door with a loud bang.

By now, it is pouring outside. 

—

In the midst of the storm and the pouring rain, the church stands in all its glory, soft, warm light emanating from the windows. For a place so holy, it feels haunted, something eerie hanging in the air — the raindrops trickling down the structure, the spire shining even in the darkness of the night.

Standing in front of the towering architecture, you briefly wonder how you came to be here. After the argument with Chan, you stepped outside and, almost unconsciously, your feet had carried you here. Your mind draws a blank on the journey, as if you opened your eyes and were transported here from your kitchen.

What were you supposed to do again?

Ah, right.

You are here with a goal.

Soaked from head to toe, you push open the doors and step inside, the warmth of the air a sharp contrast against your sopping figure. You continue straight ahead, towards the altar, your footsteps leaving behind marks of water and a wet, squeaky sound. The man you are here for is right there.

What is this if not divine will?

Jeoghan, who was crouching at the altar, busy lighting candles, turns around and tilts his head in confusion. “When I said I would see you soon, I did not mean this soon.”

In silence, you continue your way towards him. He stands up, setting the candle down. His gaze shifts more towards concern than amusement as he takes in your drenched, dishevelled look.

“Are you okay?” He asks, inching towards you. Still silent, you march towards him, stepping into the altar and in the blink of an eye, you charge at him, the hand carrying the knife aimed straight at his heart. “I am going to kill you, you fucking lunatic!”

Jeonghan — as surprised as he is — catches your wrist in time, ensuing a struggle. You grit your teeth, using all your strength to try to accomplish your goal while he prevents you from doing so. With one hand, he holds your wrists away and uses the other to dig into your shoulder, pulling you downwards. Even in this dire situation, he has the balls to laugh. “Holy shit, baby. With all this bloodthirst, maybe you should have been a cult leader.”

“Shut up, you son of a bitch,” you seethe, trying your utmost best to push the knife into his chest using both hands. He, however, overpowers, pulling your wrist downwards — lower and lower — until it hurts so bad that you drop the knife.

Immediately, he kicks it away. With another cry of fury, you charge at him, this time aiming to wrap your hands around his throat. He, however, blocks your grip and smoothly grabs both of your hands, flipping you around, and pins them behind you. “As much as I love this crazy side of you, you need to stop, little raven,” he pants in your ear.

“You…” you inhale deeply, struggling to get free. “You are an evil, depraved man. You make me sick.”

“No, I don’t.” He announces, unfazed and calm. “I do not make you sick, ___. In fact, I make you curious. I intrigue you.” He pulls your body even closer, the wetness of your skin now soaking into his clothes. “I know you think about me. All the time. Especially at night.” His sultry voice drips into your ears, each slowly enunciated word making its mark on you. He uses a hand to lift your chin and make you look at him. The faint smile on his face grows bigger — slow but deliberate, like he has all the time in the world. His gaze lowers — tracing your quivering lips like he is memorizing every single fracture in your resolve. 

You are gone. There is no escaping him. He is inside your head. He has been there for a while.

Still, you hiss. “I don’t.” Another attempt to free your wrists. “I swear to God, Jeoghan, I will kill you.”

“Oh, baby,” he shakes his head, “Have we not moved past that? You could never kill me. After all, who will make you cum when I am gone?”

“You—”

“Tell me, sweetheart, did you go home and touch yourself? Did it feel good? Did you wish it were me playing with you?”

“I didn’t, you asshole!” 

He makes a sound of disapproval. “Does that mean, if I touch you between your legs now, I will not find you wet?” A shiver runs down your spine at his words, and you tell yourself it is because you got soaked in the rain. “Shall we check?” He hums lazily, slowly sneaking his hand towards the string of your trousers. 

“Jeoghan, no—”

“Calm down, my raven.” He whispers in your ear. With the string undone, he easily shoves his hand inside, cupping you through your underwear.

“Jeoghan, please—” He pushes aside your panties and slips a finger in. And it is like a deja vu. Why do you always end up like this with him?

Against your ear, you feel him chuckle, “See? You are all bark and no bite.”

You shake, a feeling of frustration, disgust, anger and helplessness coursing through you at the same time, “You are disgusting. You are a filthy, wretched scum of the earth,” your voice comes out quiet and slightly breathless. They seem to carry some weight, however, as Jeoghan stops, his body tensing behind you.

“What did you say?”

“You heard me the first time.” You state, using the moment to push free from his grip and take a few steps back. He continues to regard you with a look of serious inquisitiveness. 

“You are a coward. You prey on innocent, vulnerable people like my brother for your stupid fucking rituals and whatnot. God — do you not realize how pathetic you look?” You don’t hold back, letting the waves of anger wash over you. In silence, Jeoghan continues to watch you, his gaze calculating but somber. “You wound my feelings, you know.” He finally murmurs, his gaze drifting around the church, as if he is an inspector. 

“Oh yeah? The truth is bitter, is it not?”

He chuckles, shaking his head. “You are wrong about one thing, my raven. I do not prey on people.” He pauses, a dark, almost predatory glint appearing in his eyes. “I help them.”

You roll your eyes.

“I help people by giving them a place to belong. I hear them out. I listen to their stories and then offer them friendship and fraternity.”

“You manipulate them.”

“No.” He states, voice rising an octave. He is his usual composed self but you hear the grit and determination in his words. “I make them feel seen, heard, and understood.” A pause and a growing smirk. “Unlike you, who failed to do that with your brother.”

There is a sinking feeling in your stomach. “What did you just say?” Your voice is quiet.

He laughs, dragging his fingertips across the pews in careful observation. “After everything your brother went through…you should have taken better care of him, sweetheart.” His tone is loaded with mockery.

You stagger back a step, the air in your lungs completely dissipating. He takes another slow, relaxed step forward, “I mean, the poor kid killed his father. Can you imagine the trauma?” He shakes his head in a faux display of pity. The world has started to spin around you. “How…” you pant, suddenly not getting enough oxygen in your system. “H-how do you know about that?”

“Chan told me.” He shrugs.

“Lies!” You cry. 

He stares at you — deadpan. You know it in the depths of your soul that he is indeed saying the truth, but it takes everything in you to come to terms with it. With the fact that your brother shared such a grave secret, and that too with Jeonghan. This diabolical man has you captive now — he had been for a while.

Oh God, please let this be a nightmare.

“He would never!” You bellow, voice shaking, tears brimming in your eyes. “He…he would never. He promised me.”

Jeoghan sighs dramatically, taking another step towards you while you take another one back. “It is a truly burdensome thing to keep to yourself, you know? And it is all good, it was ruled as self-defence.” He pauses. You interpret the look in his eyes as one of challenge. “You were the witness, after all. And he was still a minor. And your father had a long, infamous history of abuse.” He pauses and raises a fist towards his neck, “Gone with a stab in the neck. Bam!” He makes a gesture of a stab, the smirk in his face turning into a cruel grin. “I mean, he deserved it, after everything he did to you guys. Tell me — is it really true that your mother committed suicide because of him?”

Bile rises to your throat. Your nervous system is on the edge of shutting down, each word spilling from his mouth hitting your skin like acid. Suddenly, you feel useless and betrayed, your entire life feeling like a joke to you. Especially your life here in this town. It seems like you have been playing the role of a jester for Jeonghan for a while now.

Turns out, you are the pathetic one, not him.

Unable to shoulder the shock any longer, your knees give out. Falling onto the ground, you sit in a puddle of wetness and murmur, “How could he do that to me? How could he share those things with you? How could he?”

“I have that ability, you know. To make people say things. To make them confess. I could do that to you right now. Should I?”

His words fall on deaf ears as your frame continues shaking with sobs. Jeonghan takes slow, deliberate steps towards you, his footsteps leaving a haunting echo. “I already know what is in your heart.”

You remain mute, panting, tears streaming down your face.

“Should I say it for you, my raven?” He comes to a stand in front of you. Takes you in with dark eyes, in which a fire has been ignited, one of victory and possession. A soft hand brushes the hair away from your face before gently cupping the side of your face and tilting your head upwards. “You want me. You want to belong to me. You want me to the point you hate yourself.”

You bite your lip, fresh tears gushing down from your eyes. “Stop, please.” Your voice is barely a whisper.

“Oh, baby,” he coos, resting on one knee to come to your eye level. “It is okay. You just need to stop lying to yourself. Stop punishing yourself.”

You are not in this world anymore. You feel and hear nothing, your soul shrinking back and hiding itself in a shell. From this point on, nothing matters except the fact that you failed your brother in more ways than one. 

Producing a handkerchief from his pocket, Jeonghan uses it to wipe your tears and the droplets of rain beading down from your wet hair. Dabbing the linen across your face with utmost care, he says, “It is time for you to give in, my raven. Give in to me and see how good you feel. I can heal you.”

For a long, long moment, you stare at him, your blank gaze focused on his face, observing every little detail — the bumps and the moles on his skin. “Just kill me.” You whisper after a while.

Jeonghan stops. He blinks before dropping the handkerchief. Seconds pass by — one, two, three before you suddenly feel his fingers wrapped around your throat, squeezing you.

The air lightens, your vision gets blurry.

“You want me to do this?” He grits. “You want me to squeeze that pretty life out of your body?” Your head hurts, and in a half-hearted attempt, you hold his wrists, unsure whether you truly want him to continue or stop.

Jeonghan, however, has his plans and with his fingers around your neck, he yanks you closer, wrapping an arm around your lower back and smashing his lips with yours.

He ravages your mouth while you feel light-headed. And it is a euphoric feeling. You let go of all your body weight, letting him hold you. 

And he does. His hand lets go of your throat to yank your jacket off of you, the sopping material sprinkling droplets of water as it comes off of you. His lips continue to be against yours, his tongue in your mouth, depriving you of your breath in another way. At the same time, his hands work, feeling your arms, your back, your shoulders, pulling at your flimsy tank top. 

“You want me to kill you, pretty girl?” He snarls against your lips. “Why would I do that, hm? I could do so much worse to you by keeping you alive and with me.”

He rips your tank top off your skin in the next moment.

Already cold from the rain, your naked body shivers. “Poor baby, are you cold?” He whispers, engulfing you in his arms, kissing you once again while his fingers find home around your neck. His body guards yours, pulling you impossibly close, touching every inch of your bare skin while he kisses you as if his life depends on it. You feel like a puppet, pliant and mindless, giving into this inescapable madness, some part deep in you already accepting and even craving it.

Shit, what is wrong with you?

You don’t get to contemplate the answer as he is pushing you down, pressing your back flat against the church floor, his body on top of yours. Lips still interconnected, one of his hands crawls down, touching you between your legs. Pushing your panties aside, he thrusts two of his fingers inside you and makes a grunt of satisfaction at how easily his digits slip in due to your arousal. 

“Oh god.” You cry, eyes falling closed as you feel his fingers move in and out of you with ease, hitting the perfect spot each time. You shudder, fingers gripping his shoulders. Next to your lips, he whispers, “There is no god here, little raven. Only me.” 

He flicks your clit and you erupt in a loud moan. “So say my name. Scream it.” Paired with the movement of his fingers and the scalding way he keeps looking at you, you know you’re not very far from your release. Some fragmented part of your mind vaguely registers how embarrassing this is but by now, you have gone past the point of caring. 

Because he is everywhere, his touch is everywhere — fingers inside you, lips on your jaw, neck and breasts. Biting, licking, marking.

He speeds up the movement of his fingers, and you hiss, “Jeonghan…please—”

He chuckles. “Gonna cum, sweetheart? So quickly? Is this evil bastard making you feel so good?”

“Yes…please,” you whimper, squeezing your eyes shut, grabbing onto his body like he is your lifeline. With each second, you feel the delicious, exhilarating release building and building, your toes curling from pleasure and anticipation. 

“Come then. Wet my fingers with your sweet juice. His filthy words make you cry out loud, his thumb brushing over your clit, rubbing it swiftly and sending you over the edge, face-first into your orgasm. It shakes your limbs as you lie there pressed underneath his weight, feeling it wash over you, your pussy spasming repeatedly while he keeps playing with you throughout your high. When you finally feel the last of your orgasm ebb away and your mind starts functioning again, Jeonghan pulls his fingers out of you, dripping in your essence and licks his digits clean, never wavering eye contact with you.

On top of you, he looks like God. Or the incarnation of pure evil — you are not sure. Whatever it is, you can no longer deny him. You shiver, whether due to his gaze or from the cold, you don’t know. You don’t know anything anymore. 

Jeonghan's eyes lazily drag across your face, taking in every detail. “I am just getting started with you, baby.” He hums, tracing his wet index finger upwards, from your belly button to your nipple to your collarbone and then stopping at your throat. “I love seeing my marks on you,” he mutters almost to himself, no doubt referring to his fingerprints around your neck. “I am going to mark every inch of you, little raven. Mark my words.”

In the blink of an eye, his hands move, grabbing onto the waist of your trousers and dragging them down, pulling them off of you completely along with your panties. You lie beneath him, completely at his mercy and without a stitch on your skin.

With a grin matching that of the devils, he works on the buttons of his pants, finally freeing his cock, which had created a tent in his pants. Thick, curved, and leaking, it shoots a maddening flame of desire from your belly to right between your legs. No one has ever made you feel this way — this depraved and desperate, being led on by a mind-numbing arousal. Unable to look away, you swallow, not finding much to say, sweaty palms pressed against the hardwood floor in anticipation of sin. 

“Dirty little girl,” he flashes his teeth, eyes sparkling with desire and mischief. “Don’t you know it is rude to stare?”

“I—”

“Hush, now. Take a deep breath.” He warns, making himself comfortable on top of you before lining up his length with your pussy and pushing in with a harsh thrust. A small, breathless squeak floats past your lips at the intrusion and the fullness, your hands immediately reaching out to latch onto Jeonghan’s shoulders. On top of you, the man pants, a quiet grunt coming from him as he thrusts deep inside you. 

“Fuck,” his body shudders. “You are so tight and wet, little raven.” He huffs, pausing for a second, your walls clenched tight around him, before pulling out and pushing in all the way. The sounds your pussy makes are mortifying, leaving behind a wet squelch at his movements, your body quietly shaking at his intrusions.

“Please,” you find yourself begging for something you are unaware of. Jeonghan, who has built up a steady pace by now, leans back slightly to get a better look at your face. “Feels good, baby?”

You shake your head, delirious.

“Of course it does,” he pants. His hands wrap around your neck, fingers molding around your soft skin the way they did before. “You love to act all high and mighty. But you are just a slut, aren’t you? You like getting this cunt pounded by me, no?”

He increases his pace and your eyes fall closed, mindless whimpers and moans coming out of your mouth. “Answer me, whore!” He seethes and then lands a slap on your cheek. Wide eyed, you stare at him, panting, the skin he just hit stinging deliciously. 

“Fuck,” he grins, diabolical. “You just got tighter around me. You like me slapping you?”

You are breathless, still too dumbfounded by his action and your reaction. And without giving you enough time to process the first one, he lands another slap on your other cheek, and this time you feel yourself clenching around him.

Fuck.

“God damn it, baby,” he grunts. “Aren’t you a dirty little pain slut?”

You make a pathetic noise, somewhere between an agreement and a sob.

“Answer me, slut!” Another slap.

“Yes!” You cry. “I love it, Jeonghan!”

The man almost growls at your words, going into a frenzy. He doesn’t hold back, pulling out almost all the way before snapping his hips back in, making your body arch. He holds his place, letting you feel every pulsing inch of him. “Fuck!” You hiss, legs shaking. Jeonghan smiles lazily at your reaction, his hips moving again, slowly at first, then increasing, the thrusts hitting you so deep each time you feel like he’s inside your belly. Leaning down, his mouth trails over your neck, littering open-mouthed kisses before they travel towards your breasts, capturing a nipple into his mouth. You mewl in pleasure.

His tongue teases your nipple, circling the hard bud before he gives it a harsh suck and then finishes off with a soft bite. He does the same to your other breast while you writhe below him, all the nerves of your body on fire, searching desperately for a release.

“You are a temptress, little raven,” he hums against your breast, gently biting a nipple while one of his hands crawls downwards to find your clit. The bundle of nerves is swollen and sensitive, immediately making you cry out. “Please—I wanna cum!”

“Oh yeah, my slut?” Letting go of your nipple with a pop, he gazes at you, unblinking, while his fingers continue playing with your clit. “Beg for it. Beg for me to fill your dirty hole up.”

“P-please, Jeonghan. Please…let me cum. Oh–fuck…harder.” You babble, head lost in a cloud of pleasure as you feel every inch of his dick brand itself into your walls. The pleasure makes your head spin and you know you have to come soon. Otherwise, you just might go insane.

“Such an obedient slut,” he says and increases his pace even more, drilling into your swollen cunt, rough breaths falling from his lips. One of his hands continues to toy with your clit while the other pinches your nipple harshly and you wail. “Jeonghan!”

You finally taste your release. In the blink of an eye, the coil in your belly snaps and fireworks shoot throughout your body as you reach your peak, body trembling underneath him, toes curled, eyes rolled to the back of your head. “Yes, good girl. Come for your master.” He hisses, leaning down to nibble on your neck, feeling your deathly grip on his cock, your warm, wet walls spasming around him.

Absolutely cock-drunk, you feel nothing, transported into a world of bliss, from which you are dragged out rather quickly when he whispers in your ear, “You are going to give me another one, baby.”

You’re too lost to even process his words but your body moves to action, another orgasm already building up as he starts to build up his tireless pace again. Jeonghan’s soft grunts increase as he rubs your wet pussy mercilessly, his thrusts now faltering. “Fuck. Gonna cum, soon, little raven. Gonna fill you up. Beg me. Beg for my seed.”

“Jeonghan…please,” you slur, brain riddled with the torturous sensation on your clit and inside your pussy. It is heaven and hell at the same time. You are too sensitive for another orgasm but at the same time, you need it like your next breath. “Fill me up…” you mumble, lying flat on your back and surrendering your body to him. You are his to play with, to do as he pleases.

“Open your mouth,” Jeonghan orders quietly. Huh? You don’t really think before doing as he says and in the next second, a glob of spit drops into your mouth. Face on fire, you stare at the haunting man on top of you. He grins, “Fuck. You are perfect, you know that?” One hand comes to tenderly stroke your face. “Swallow it like a good girl.”

You do so. Jeonghan throws his head back in a groan, muttering curses underneath his breath. “Fuck, baby. I am gonna fill you up so good. Put my child in and never let you leave.”

His words start to unravel you. Your body goes tense and with one more flick of his finger on your clit, you reach your second orgasm, messy and merciless as your pleasure crashes into you like waves. In between a mess of tears and drool, you feel Jeonghan spill inside you at the same time, his warm seed filling you up, and then leaking out of your spent hole. Your legs shake even after you sense him pull out as white spots dance in your vision, your brain completely reduced to mush.

Jeonghan’s body slumps onto yours, his chest heaving against yours while you lie beneath him and try to get enough air into your lungs. You stare straight ahead, at the ceiling of the church, which stretches skyward in pale stone arches. Candlelight trembles along the curves of the ceiling, making the shadows dance hauntingly. Faded frescoes bloom between the ribs — angels with solemn faces, wings outstretched, their eyes turned eternally toward heaven. Yet for a second, you feel as if their eyes are set straight at you — defiled and used, lying on the church floor with the man who led her to sin.

Oddly, you do not feel any guilt, only acceptance. And even relief.

—

The storm continues raging outside—now stronger than before. A thunder lands somewhere nearby, leaving behind an ear-deafening sound.

You flinch in Jeonghan’s arms, your naked body pressed against his clothed one.

Your head rests against his shoulder, your face turned aside, your eyes staring at nothing. His fingers stroke your back in a mindless pattern. 

Another crash of thunder.

“It is okay, my raven.” The man assures, voice dripping with care, like he is talking to a child in agony. “I have got you now. You will be just fine. You will be just fine.”

You swallow and close your eyes. Your hands wrap around his waist.

You will be just fine.

For a bonus, extra special scene, click here or head over to my Patreon! This work will be cross-posted on AO3.

© startlightxsvt 2026 | All Rights Reserved. Do not copy, translate, adapt, or repurpose any of my works.

Taglist: @fairwanda @lilyofthevalley6 @gigitastic @yethoughts @hotelcortezghost @epelletart @joshuangel

A/N 2: whew, so that was that lol. idk what possessed me to write that filth but ik for a fact Hannie would be the best cult leader and he would have managed to rope me in his schemes. anyway, thank you for reading till the end, i hope you enjoyed it! please leave your thoughts in the comments or in my ask box! always happy to talk more about my fics <33

on a different note, I am kinda wondering if I should start writing fics about other groups. to be very specific, on Ateez's San. I have been listening to them on and off since their debut and recently, I have developed the phattest crush on San so my hands are lowkey itching to write a fic on him (that man is fine af, okay). anyway, just sharing a thought, maybe I will write a drabble first and see how the response it. but yeah, i will stop yapping now! have a great day wherever you are!!

[nightshao]

𝑻𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝑯𝒊𝒎

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 ➙ Yoon Jeonghan x f! reader

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 ➙ You realise someone’s been following you — but when a private investigator steps in to help, it becomes clear the stalker isn’t after money or lust at all.. he’s trying to protect you from something worse.

𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐬 ➙ Fluff, Stalker au, Dark Romance, Mystery, Little confusing.. ready your minds lol, Jeonghan be a little fcked up here.., Porn w/ Plot (please proceed to READ ALL WARNINGS for your safety)

𝐖𝐂 ➙ 13.3k

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 ➙ MDNI, FICTIONAL WORK ONLY, explicit sexual content, explicit language, oral sex (f. receiving), tongue fucking (f. receiving), grinding, unprotected sex, rough sex, biting, restraining hands, stalking, kidnapping, blindfold sex, body worship, dirty talk, degradation, crying from pleasure and pain, dacryphilia, loud moans, possessiveness, creampie, nipple sucking, swing fling position (without ropes), pinning to the wall, squirting, a little dubcon, coming inside without consent, overstimulation, manipulation, mentions of gun and fights, lying, scene of getting chased, mention of implied death (no mcd don’t worry)

🎧 ➙ RunRunRun by Dutch Melrose ⋮ R U Mine by Arctic Monkeys ⋮ Let the World Burn by Chris Grey ⋮ Hooked by Why Don’t We ⋮ Shameless by Camila Cabello

𝐀/𝐍 ➙ Finally wrote something in this genre — it’s been a dream hahaha just a heads up!! if you haven’t read my guidelines, this au (and all my other works) does not include any non-consensual or implied sexual assault, as I’m not comfortable writing those. thank you for understanding.

navigation ✮ masterlist ✮ guidelines

You lived a quiet life, the kind that repeated itself like clockwork. 6:45 a.m., the alarm buzzed. You’d hit snooze twice, drag yourself to the bathroom, stare at the mirror long enough to ask if you really needed a job, then decide yes — rent existed.

The apartment wasn’t much. A one-bedroom squeezed between a laundry shop and an old tailor’s place that never seemed open. But it was yours. Quiet enough for thoughts to echo, small enough that you could find your keys in thirty seconds flat.

By 7:15, you were walking to the corner cafe. The barista, Yuna, already knew your order — earl grey matcha latte, less ice, “because you look like someone trying to survive corporate life.” You’d laugh, pretend to be offended, then leave her a tip anyway.

At 7:32, you boarded the 45B bus. Always the same seat: third row from the back, left side by the window. You’d plug in your earphones, open your notes app, and scroll through the outline for your next article. Another routine. Another day.

Your phone buzzed.

Seokmin ☀️: “You alive?”

Y/N: “Barely.”

Seokmin ☀️: “Tea before work?”

Y/N: “Already on it. Earl grey matcha latte secured.”

Seokmin ☀️: “You and that sugar addiction are gonna die together.”

You smiled faintly, tucking the phone away. Seokmin had been your friend since college — one of those people who texted you good morning and didn’t expect much else, which you appreciated.

The city outside blurred past — gray streets, billboards, faces you’d forget by lunch. It wasn’t until you got off the bus, tea in one hand and bag in the other, that you noticed something strange. Nothing loud. Nothing dramatic. Just.. the feeling.

Like the air had thickened. You brushed it off, turned the corner to your building. Someone laughed behind you — too far to see, but close enough to feel the vibration of it. You didn’t turn around.

The first week, it was just little things. A key left on the counter instead of the hook. A mug on the table when you swore you hadn’t made coffee yet. You blamed it on stress — deadlines, exhaustion, too many late nights spent staring at a blinking cursor on your laptop. You even joked about it to Seokmin over the phone.

“You’re just tired,” he said. “Maybe get an actual hobby. One that doesn’t involve caffeine and self-loathing.” “Wow, thanks. You should try Hallmark cards.” “I’m serious. Rest.” You tried. You really did.

But then came the footsteps. Soft ones. Muffled, like someone walking barefoot down your hallway when the clock hit past midnight. You froze the first time you heard them — the kind of frozen where your heartbeat becomes a drum in your ears. You turned off your laptop screen, the glow disappearing from the room, and listened.

Nothing. Then something. A creak — just one. From the other side of your bedroom door. You waited, barely breathing. When you finally gathered enough courage to stand and flick the light on, the sound stopped. The silence that followed felt heavier than before.

You checked every corner. The bathroom. The kitchen. Even under the bed, though you hated how cliche that was. No one. But your door was open. Not wide, just an inch. Enough to make your stomach twist.

You were sure you’d locked it. You always locked it.

That night, you pushed a chair against the doorknob before crawling under the blanket, eyes fixed on the crack of darkness beneath the frame. You didn’t sleep that well. You only blinked.

The next morning, the world was normal again. Almost too normal. People laughed in the cafe. The barista flirted with a customer. Seokmin spammed you with memes during your break. You told yourself last night didn’t happen. That it was a dream born from exhaustion.

Until you caught your reflection in the cafe window — not directly, but enough to notice something odd. Behind you, blurred by the reflection, was a figure.

Still. Watching. You turned around. Nothing. Just a crowd. Your pulse quickened. You shook your head, forced out a laugh at yourself, and went back to your drink.

But the feeling stayed. That weight between your shoulder blades. That quiet whisper in your mind; someone’s watching. And when you got home that night, your apartment door was locked exactly how you’d left it but the chair you’d wedged beneath the knob was moved.

—

The weekend came with rare sunshine, the kind that made the city glow gold instead of grey. Seokmin had dragged you out of the apartment with promises of ‘emotional recovery’ and ‘vitamin D therapy.’

“You can’t live off caffeine and fear,” he said as you both walked through the mall. “Says the guy who once cried over a coffee machine breaking.” “That was a tragic event.” You rolled your eyes, but you were smiling.

The day felt good — or at least it tried to be. You wandered through stores, tried ridiculous sunglasses, made fun of overpriced candles. Seokmin even convinced you to try one of those claw machines.

“Watch and learn,” he said dramatically, shoving a coin in. “You said that last time, and you won a plastic frog.” “That frog had character.” “Whatever Seok.. I’m not wasting money for that again hahaha.”

When he failed again, you laughed so hard you had to lean against the glass, tears gathering in the corners of your eyes. For a moment, everything — the footsteps, the open door, the uneasy nights — all faded into background noise.

“See?” Seokmin said, grinning, “you’re smiling again. Told you-” “-that I need vitamin D and claw machine therapy,” you finished for him. You stopped for boba after, sitting on a bench near the fountain. Seokmin scrolled through his phone while you talked about work and deadlines. It was easy. Familiar.

But even while you laughed, something felt.. off. Your gaze drifted toward the glass storefront beside you, catching the reflection of the crowd moving past. And that’s when you saw him.

A man — standing perfectly still across the street. Too still. He wasn’t on his phone. He wasn’t looking around.

He was looking at you.

He didn’t flinch when you blinked. Didn’t move when someone passed in front of him. His face was calm — too calm — framed by short dark hair that almost caught the afternoon light. And then, in the blink of an eye, he was gone.

You turned your head sharply, scanning the street. But all you see was just cars, a few people, a vendor calling out for customers. Your pulse stuttered.

“Hey,” Seokmin said, nudging you with his elbow, “you okay?” “Yeah,” you breathed out, eyes darting back to the glass. “Just.. thought I saw someone I knew.” He followed your gaze, shrugged, and went back to his drink.

You laughed softly, but it sounded hollow even to you. Because in the reflection of the store window — in that faint shimmer of light and glass — you could’ve sworn you saw movement again.

A hand. Lifting, slowly. Waving at you.

—

You didn’t sleep that night. Every creak of the apartment, every hum of passing cars — it all sounded too close. Too deliberate. By morning, you were running on nerves. You met Seokmin at your usual cafe, trying to keep your voice steady as you told him everything.

“You’re sure it’s not just.. coincidence?” he asked carefully, stirring his drink. You gave him a look. “Doors don’t unlock themselves, Seok. Neither do windows.” He sighed, leaning back. “Ok, ok, fair. But did you see the guy again?”

You hesitated. “Not exactly. But I felt him. Like someone was watching.” For a second, Seokmin didn’t say anything — just drummed his fingers on the table, his expression clouded. Then he stood abruptly. “You’re going to the police.”

“Seok-” “No, I’m serious. This isn’t some Netflix thriller, okay? If someone’s following you, you report it.” You wanted to argue, but you didn’t have the energy to fight logic.

So that afternoon, you went. The police station smelled faintly of paper and disinfectant. You sat at a metal desk, recounting everything — the sounds, the reflection, the ajar door — to an officer who typed slower than you thought humanly possible.

When you finished, he gave you a practiced smile. “We’ll keep a record,” he said. “But without any hard evidence — photos, videos, physical proof — there’s not much we can do for now.” You stared at him. “So I just.. wait?”

He shrugged, sympathetic but detached. “Try not to be alone. Keep your doors locked.” That was it.

Two hours, a filed report, and the same fear sitting heavier in your chest. Later, you found yourself slumped in Seokmin’s passenger seat, the city lights blurring outside. “They didn’t do shit, did they?” he muttered.

You stayed quiet. “God, I hate this. Ok, listen,” he said suddenly, turning to you. “My brother’s friend, Joshua Hong. He’s a private investigator. Works with missing persons, surveillance cases, the whole thing. He’s legit. I’ll give my brother a call, yeah?”

You blinked at him. “A private investigator? Isn’t that a little much?” “So is getting stalked, Y/N.”

You exhaled slowly, nodding. He softened at that, giving your shoulder a light nudge. “Hey. We’ll figure this out. Promise.” Outside, the light turned red, and through the glass reflection of the car window, you thought you saw something again.

Your hand tightened around your seatbelt, tension coiling through your chest. Seokmin noticed instantly — of course he did — and started cracking his usual corny jokes to lighten the air.

“But seriously,” he said after a beat, “you can crash at my place for the meantime. Just until things settle.” You immediately shook your head, crossing your arms in an exaggerated X over your chest. “No way. I’m fine, really. Don’t worry too much — I’ll give you a call when I’m about to get kidnapped.”

He groaned, rubbing his face. “That’s not funny.” “Wasn’t meant to be,” you muttered, though you couldn’t help the small smile tugging at your lips.

—

Joshua Hong was exactly what you expected a private investigator to be — calm, composed, and quietly observant. He had that kind of presence that didn’t fill the room, but grounded it instead. His tone was even, professional, and his words carried a kind of warmth that immediately made you breathe easier.

“We’ll start simple,” Joshua said, setting his sleek laptop on a small dining table. “Hidden cameras, motion sensors by your door, and one in your hallway. Nothing invasive, just precautionary.”

You nodded, watching him work. His movements were methodical, fingers steady as he adjusted each tiny device. The soft click of tools against your counter became oddly comforting.

“You’ve had the locks changed, right?” he asked, glancing up at you. “Twice,” you replied. “Good. Still-” he gave a faint, knowing smile “-it’s better to assume someone persistent can find a way in.” That line chilled you more than you expected.

When he finished setting up, Joshua insisted on walking you home from the station that evening “for observation purposes,” he’d said — there was something protective in his tone that made you trust him.

The night air was cool. Streetlights flickered as the two of you walked side by side. He kept a small distance, his hands in his coat pockets, scanning the road ahead every so often. “You don’t have to be scared all the time,” Joshua said softly, almost as if reading your mind. “Sometimes fear keeps us sharp. Just don’t let it keep you trapped.”

You smiled faintly. “You sound like you’ve done this too many times.” “You’d be surprised,” he murmured, eyes flicking briefly to your reflection in the glass of a closed bakery window. Then his gaze hardened.

He stepped closer, his voice suddenly low. “Don’t look. Just keep walking.” Your stomach dropped. You didn’t need to turn your head — your peripheral vision caught it: a tall figure across the street, half-hidden by shadow, standing too still.

Joshua’s hand subtly brushed against your back, guiding you forward. “That’s him, isn’t it?” he asked quietly. Your throat went dry. “I think so.” When you finally dared to glance again — the street was empty.

“Mhmm.. got it. A little possessive towards you. huh?”

The following weekend, your apartment felt different. Not scary, not heavy — just quiet in a way that didn’t feel threatening anymore. Joshua’s cameras blinked faintly in the corners, their tiny red lights oddly reassuring.

Seokmin sprawled across your couch with a bag of chips, his legs taking up all the space like he owned the place. “You know, I didn’t think I’d ever say this,” he began, crunching loudly, “but these spy cameras make your apartment look expensive.”

You laughed, grabbing the remote and tossing a pillow at him. “You’re such an idiot. They’re for my safety, not your entertainment.” He grinned, holding the chip bag like a mic. “Sure, sure. But admit it the whole setup’s kinda hot. Joshua Hong? Total movie detective name. Tell me he doesn’t look like he solves cases and breaks hearts.”

You rolled your eyes, failing to hide the smile tugging at your lips. “He’s nice. Professional. That’s it.” Seokmin gasped dramatically. “That’s it? You’re saying that with the face of someone who replayed his voice in her head after he left.” You threw another pillow. “I did not!”

“Please,” he said, sitting up, chip crumbs on his shirt. “The way you talk about him — ‘his voice was calm, his hands steady, his presence reassuring—’ like, come on, are you writing a romance novel or a police report? I bet he’s attractive, based on your description he is, I’ll shoot my shot.”

You laughed so hard your stomach hurt. “I think he’s straight,” you finally managed to say between giggles. Seokmin clutched his chest like you’d stabbed him. “Unbelievable. Not only am I replaced by a heartthrob detective, but he’s also straight? God really said ‘no crumbs for you, Seokmin.’”

The two of you broke into laughter again, echoing through the small space. For the first time in weeks, you felt at peace. The tension in your shoulders loosened. The silence of the apartment didn’t feel like someone was listening anymore — it just felt like home.

When Seokmin finally left that night, you cleaned up the coffee mugs, humming softly to yourself. The camera light blinked from the corner of the ceiling — steady, blinking, safe.

You smiled faintly at it. “Goodnight,” you murmured playfully. Then you turned off the lights. From across the street, unseen through the blinds, someone else whispered your name despite not being heard — the sound low and reverent. “Goodnight, Y/N.”

—

Joshua’s eyes stayed glued to the monitor. The footage played in fast-forward — hours of mundane living condensed into seconds: you brushing your hair, watering your plants, cooking dinner. Then, a flicker. The screen glitched.

He slowed the playback. The kitchen light dimmed, blinked twice — and there, in that split-second of darkness, a figure appeared by the hallway mirror. Pale. Still. Gone when the light steadied. Joshua froze the frame and leaned in. The face was barely visible, half-shadowed, but he could make out the faint curve of a smile.

“Jesus Christ,” he muttered under his breath. He clicked through the other cameras — same pattern. Every time the lights flickered, the figure was there. Always standing just far enough to not trigger motion sensors. Always watching. He took a steadying breath, then dialed your number.

“Hey,” you answered, casual, unaware. “What’s up?” “Don’t panic,” he said, his tone professional but tight. “You weren’t imagining things. It’s the same man who’s following us. He’s smart.. careful. He only moves when the lights go out.”

You went quiet. “That doesn’t make sense.” “I know. I’ve cross-checked timestamps. Every time your lights flickered — that was him. Always the same figure. Always in the same spots.” “Can you see his face?”

Joshua hesitated, cursor hovering over the blurred image. “…Barely. But I’ll find out who he is. I promise.” I promised myself that I won’t let things go out of control again.

Hours later, Joshua sat in his car outside a dusty municipal records building. He’d been tracing addresses, permits, anything tied to the neighbourhood. And there it was — a file from six years ago. Yoon Jeonghan.

Registered address: two blocks from your apartment. Evicted after a building fire. Joshua’s grip tightened on the steering wheel. “How is he..?” He looked back at the printed photo of the man in the security footage. Same outline. Same shape of the face. He then caught himself not being able to breathe slowly for some reason.

—

Meanwhile, you sat in your favorite cafe, hands trembling slightly as you stirred your drink. It was early evening — the time of day you used to love, before every shadow started feeling alive. You’d started noticing patterns too. The man who keeps on following you, it’s the same man every damn time, the same man who keeps appearing everywhere.

Every time you changed your schedule, the silence followed you. But when you went back to routine — there he was again, slipping into your life like he knew every step you’d take. When you got home that night, the lights flickered once. Your phone buzzed.

Unknown number: You shouldn’t have stayed out this late. It’s dangerous.

—

The stairwell was quiet that night — too quiet. The kind of silence that made every step echo longer than it should. You’d stayed late at work, trying to drown your thoughts in unfinished tasks. Joshua’s warnings looped in your head. You tightened your coat around you and pressed the elevator button. Out of order.

Fine. Stairs it is. The lights buzzed overhead, dim and uneven. You took the first few steps down, one hand on the railing, phone gripped in the other. You told yourself you’d call Seokmin the second you reached your floor. You told yourself you were fine.

Then- a voice. Low. Calm. Behind you. “Don’t turn around.” Your breath caught. “I said don’t.”

You froze halfway down the stairs. You didn’t scream, didn’t move — just calculated. The tone wasn’t threatening; it was steady. Too steady. “You’ve been looking for me,” the voice continued, closer now, “and I’ve been trying very hard to keep you safe.”

Your fingers hovered over your phone screen. Emergency call. One press away. “Who are you?” you asked, keeping your voice even. “And why the hell are you following me?” A soft laugh echoed down the stairwell. “You really don’t remember me, do you?”

That made your pulse stutter. You risked a glance over your shoulder — and finally saw him. Tall. Pale skin. Attractive. Under the flickering light. A face too calm for the situation, framed by soft short dark hair that looked almost black in the dimness.

His eyes caught yours. And there it was — that same calm, unblinking stare from the reflection in the shop window. He said your name like it belonged to him. “You need to stop.” “Stop what?”

“Digging. Asking. Looking.” His voice dropped lower. “You’re making it harder for me to protect you.” “Protect me from what?” you bit back. He stepped forward once, slow and deliberate, but kept a distance. His gaze didn’t waver. “From what’s coming.”

You forced a scoff, but it came out shaky. “You sound insane.” “Maybe,” he said quietly. “But I’m the only reason you’re still breathing.” He glanced at the flickering bulb above you, then at your phone — still clutched tight. “Call him if you want,” he murmured. “He won’t get here in time.”

You straightened, hiding the tremor in your hands. “You think I’m scared of you?” He smiled — soft, heartbreakingly gentle. “No. But you should be.”

For a long second, the two of you stood in silence. Then a door opened somewhere above — a neighbour coming home, faint footsteps echoing down. You blinked, and the man was gone. Just like that.

Only the faint smell of perfume lingered — clean, expensive, almost comforting. You exhaled shakily, hand pressed to your chest. The next morning, you found a note slipped under your door.

Don’t go out tonight.

—

Joshua showed up at your apartment, Jeonghan, the stalker keeps on appearing and talking to you already. Is that even his real name? If I’m a stalker, would I tell my name? Eyes shadowed from lack of sleep and worry. He didn’t even knock properly this time — just a sharp, impatient rhythm against the door before stepping in once you opened it.

“You should’ve called me,” he said, voice low but tense. “You said you’d call me if anything happened.” You set your mug down on the counter, trying to keep your composure. “I didn’t exactly have time to schedule it, Joshua. He was just.. there.”

Joshua dragged a hand down his face, exhaling hard. “He cornered you? Did he touch you?” “No. He didn’t.” You hesitated, remembering the way Jeonghan had spoken. Calm. Knowing. “He just talked.”

“That’s what they all do at first,” Joshua muttered, pacing near the window where one of the hidden cameras blinked faintly. “They act calm so you let your guard down. He’s escalating, Y/N. You need to stay somewhere else for a while-”

“I can’t,” you cut in. “Joshua, listen to me.” He turned, brow furrowed. “He knew things,” you said quietly, Joshua swallowed. “Things he shouldn’t.” “Like what?”

You swallowed, your throat tight. “He mentioned my dad’s watch. The one that broke years ago, after he died — I don’t even wear it anymore.” Joshua’s expression barely flickered. “He could’ve seen old photos.” You shook your head. “He also mentioned a scar on my shoulder. The one I can’t even remember how I got when I woke up from a hospital before. I don’t even remember telling Seokmin about that. No one knows, Joshua.”

He froze. “What else did he say?” You hesitated again. There was something about repeating Jeonghan’s words that made them feel heavier. “He said I needed to stop digging before it’s too late. That I’m making it harder for him to protect me.”

Joshua let out a disbelieving laugh — too sharp to sound amused. “Protect you? He’s delusional.” “Maybe,” you said softly, staring at the faint reflection of the both of you in the window glass. “But what if he’s not lying about everything?”

Joshua’s jaw clenched. “You’re starting to sound like him.” “I’m just saying something’s not adding up.”

He took a slow breath, then crouched down in front of you, his voice lowering — not angry now, just tired and careful. “Y/N, listen. Guys like him.. they study people. They’ll learn every little thing about your life so it feels like fate when they show up. It’s not supernatural, it’s obsession. He’s manipulating you.”

You looked at him, really looked, at the concern tightening his features. The rational explanation made sense — but deep down, something about it didn’t sit right. Jeonghan didn’t look like a man trying to manipulate you. He looked like someone who already knew how the story would end.

You swallowed hard. “He said the lights would flicker again.” Joshua’s brows furrowed. “When?” You hesitated. “Tonight.” He stood abruptly, grabbing his phone. “Then I’m not leaving you alone.”

You forced a small, humourless smile. “You really think staying here will stop the lights from going out?” Joshua looked at you then — really looked. “No. But it’ll stop him from coming back.”

—

The light flickered once. Twice. Then the hallway went dark. Jeonghan exhaled, leaning back against the cold wall of the stairwell, letting the shadows swallow him whole. The static hum of the building’s electricity faded into silence — just as he’d meant it to. He was the one who kept on breaking the lights anyway.

He wasn’t doing it to scare her. Never to scare her. It was the only way to draw them out. They always came with the dark — the echoes, the fragments of what erased her before. Every time the lights went out, he could feel them moving. Lingering around her. Searching for the pulse that used to belong to his.

Not this time. Not again.

He tilted his head, eyes catching the faint glow through the crack under her door. He could feel her presence, her heartbeat, even from here — uneven, but alive. That was enough to keep him breathing, even when his lungs shouldn’t work anymore.

“Stay inside,” he murmured, the words more for himself than her. “Don’t make me lose you again.” His gaze drifted toward the window, the reflection just clear enough to catch his own face. It was strange, how it always looked more human when he thought of her.

Then he saw him. Joshua Hong.

Standing near her window, phone in hand, his expression tense, protective — too close. Too comfortable in her space. Jeonghan’s jaw tightened, a flash of something ugly curling in his chest along with a bad memory.

He shouldn’t care. She was safer with someone near. That was the point. That’s why he hadn’t gone inside tonight. He’d promised himself he’d keep his distance unless it was absolutely necessary. But still..

Still, the sight of Joshua sitting where he’s supposed to sit, speaking to her softly like she was something fragile, like he understood her, like he could- Jeonghan’s hand twitched. He could almost hear her laugh through the walls. The sound was faint, muffled — but it cut deeper than anything else could.

“She doesn’t remember you,” he whispered under his breath, half to mock himself, half to calm the ache in his chest. “She doesn’t even know you exist.” But it didn’t matter. Because he remembered.

He remembered the first time he saw her when they were kids — not here, but before. A different place. The same eyes, though. Always the same eyes. The same promise whispered against his neck before everything burned away.

“Next time,” she’d said back then, “we can be more than friends.” And he believed that. He always did. Even if it meant becoming the monster that haunted her.

His gaze flicked back toward her window, where Joshua’s silhouette moved closer to hers. For a second, it looked like Joshua reached out, brushed something from her cheek — and Jeonghan’s hands curled into fists. He forced himself to look away, digging his nails into his palms until the sting anchored him.

“You’re such a hypocrite,” he muttered. “Joshua Hong” The overhead light sputtered, the power surging again — he’d let it. She didn’t like the dark. He knew that.

But before he turned to leave, Jeonghan looked back once more. Through the reflection of the glass, through the hum of static between them — and whispered to no one, “They’re coming again, sweetheart. And you don’t even remember dying last time.”

You hadn’t told Joshua.

Not about the camera you disabled. Not about the spare keys you quietly copied. And definitely not about the way you’d been following the man who was following you. You weren’t sure when it stopped being fearful and started feeling like.. curiosity.

Maybe it was because every time you thought he’d cornered you, he never did. Every time you panicked, the danger somehow missed you by inches. Coincidence? You didn’t believe in that anymore.

It started with the flickers. You traced the pattern — the times the lights went out, the streets where it happened, the buildings that lost power for just a second before you felt eyes on you. It wasn’t random. It was like breadcrumbs. And you followed them.

Tonight, the trail led you two blocks from your apartment, down an alley that smelled faintly of rust and rain. The old tenement building at the end was abandoned — or should’ve been. One of the upper windows glowed faintly gold. You pressed your hand to the door. It was unlocked.

Inside, the air was still. The kind of still that hummed — not silence, but waiting. Your shoes clicked softly on the floor as you stepped through. The walls were lined with photos — hundreds of them, printed and pinned, overlapping like scales. You stopped breathing for a moment.

All of them were you.

You, at the cafe. You, on the bus. You, standing by your window, drinking from a chipped mug. You, in the office.

But that wasn’t what froze you. What froze you were the others. The people around you. Your coworkers, your neighbours, even Joshua and Seokmin. Each photo had red circles, strings connecting faces, handwritten notes in neat cursive “Same company.” “Was there last time.” “With friends again.”

You took a step back, your pulse hammering, your throat dry. “What the fuck?” you whispered, reaching for one of the pinned notes. The handwriting was careful — not frantic like a madman’s, but methodical. Deliberate.

She’s in danger again.

A noise — a soft click — came from the corner of the room. Your breath caught. You turned slowly. A camera light blinked once. Taking a picture of you. And you realised.. he’d let you find this place. He was watching you right now.

You swallowed hard, scanning the walls again. Photos. Clippings. Maps. One photo stood out from the rest: it was burned around the edges, faded from age. It showed you — smiling, different hair, different time — standing beside him. Jeonghan. His arm draped casually over your shoulder, both of you laughing.

Your fingers trembled as you touched the image. The date scribbled on the back made your stomach twist. Twenty years ago. You took a shaky breath. “Who are you?”

A faint voice — the one that made your spine straighten every time — echoed from the small speaker near the desk. “I told you,” Jeonghan murmured. His tone was low, steady, the faintest hint of amusement curling beneath the words. “You shouldn’t have followed me.”

Your pulse spiked. “You wanted me to.” A pause. Then a soft, knowing chuckle. “Of course I did. I wanted to see how far you’d go.” “Why are you doing this?” you demanded, forcing your voice not to shake. “Why do you have these people’s photos- my photos?!”

His tone shifted, suddenly softer. “Because you liked getting photographed” You froze. “What?” “Such a shame, you can’t even remember me,” he said, almost to himself. “But you will. Feel free to leave if you want, Y/N.”

There was a click, and then silence — the speaker went dead. You stared at it for a long time, the echo of his voice still humming in your bones. And when you looked back at the wall, your eyes caught the smallest detail you hadn’t noticed before — a single line of text scrawled beneath one of your more recent photos.

She’s getting closer. Good.

And you took that clue to leave the place. To leave him.

—

You didn’t hear your phone ring at first. It buzzed for a full minute on the desk beside you before you picked it up, still half-focused on the memory of the wall of photos. “Hello?”

“Are you out of your goddamn mind?” You flinched. “Seokmin?” “Don’t ‘Seokmin?’ me, Y/N!” His voice cracked halfway between panic and anger. “Joshua just called me- which he never does btw- he said you’ve been off-grid all day, not answering him, not picking up your phone, and now he thinks-” “Calm down-”

“Calm down?! You’re investigating a stalker, not shopping for snacks!” You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose. “I’m fine. I just needed to look into something-” “Without telling anyone?” You hesitated. “If I told Joshua, he’d stop me. You know that.”

“Because that’s his job, Y/N!” His voice wavered again, softer now. “You can’t just go off like some detective in a thriller movie.. this isn’t funny.” “I wasn’t trying to be funny.” “Then what were you trying to be, huh? Brave? Smart?”

You pressed your lips together, unable to answer. He exhaled sharply through the line. “You sound like you’re shaking,” he said, voice low. “Are you safe right now?” “I am,” you lied. “Don’t lie to me.”

“Seokmin” There was silence on the other end for a few seconds. You could hear him sniffle faintly — he was crying. “Look,” he said finally, voice breaking, “I’m not trying to yell at you, ok? I just- shit, I’m scared. You’re out there chasing something that’s already chasing you.”

Your throat tightened. “I know.” “Promise me you’ll stop,” he said. You stared at your wall and tried to remember what you saw in Jeonghan's room, the inked notes, the string connections that all pointed back to you. You wanted to promise. You really did.

But you couldn’t.

“Seokmin..” He swallowed audibly. Then, after a pause: “Just be safe, ok?”

You smiled faintly, even though he couldn’t see it. “I will.” “Don’t you dare make me regret trusting you.”

The call ended.

—

Rain blurred the city lights into streaks of silver and gold. The streets were empty at this hour, the kind of quiet that made every echo sound too close. You and Joshua ran through the alley, your breaths ragged and quick.

“Keep moving!” Joshua shouted over the downpour, his hand gripping yours tightly. “He doesn’t like running anyways” The lights overhead flickered once. Twice. Then every streetlamp buzzed, dimming in unison. How did he even knew that?

“Joshua-” “Go!”

You turned the corner and ran, water splashing beneath your shoes. Your chest burned, throat raw from gasping. You didn’t dare look back — you could feel it instead. The weight of eyes on your back, the soft hum of someone’s footsteps keeping perfect rhythm with your own.

You broke into the next street, but Joshua wasn’t behind you anymore. The sound of the rain swallowed everything. “Joshua?” you called out, voice trembling. “Where are you?”

No answer. Joshua and I were talking about how he had already gathered clues and was ready to act on his own. He’d figured out a way to lure Jeonghan out and finally put an end to this madness. But before we could even make it to the authorities’ office, we got cornered in the street.

You slowed down, heartbeat pounding in your ears, until a voice — calm and steady — cut through the rainfall. “You shouldn’t run from me.” Your blood went cold. You turned around, and there he was.

Jeonghan stood beneath the flickering light of a lamppost, his black button-up shirt, the collar standing high and crisp against his neck, soaked through, his hair clinging to his face. He wasn’t even breathing hard. Just watching.

“Don’t come closer,” you warned, stepping back. Your voice cracked. He smiled faintly, that same quiet, unsettling calm in his tone. “You don’t understand yet, do you?” “Stop following me!” You were shaking now, half from the cold, half from the fear.

“Whatever you want, I don’t have it-” “I don’t want anything from you.” His voice softened, almost tender. “I’m here for you.” “Why.. why me?” He tilted his head, eyes glinting under the streetlight. “Because it’s you.”

You stumbled backward, heart racing. The streetlight above you flickered again — brighter, then dark. You couldn’t see his face for a second, and when it lit up again, he was closer. Sharp jawline, smooth and defined. His lips are full, relaxed yet carrying an unreadable expression. What draws you in most, are his eyes, half-lidded under the fall of his hair, holding that distant, unbothered calm that feels almost dangerous.

“Jeonghan, please,” you whispered, tears mixing with the rain. “Just let me go.” He took another slow step forward, eyes locked on yours. “If I do that, you’ll die. I’ll die too.”

You turned and ran. Your breath hitched as you sprinted down the slick pavement, lungs burning. The rain came down harder, blurring everything. You could hear him calling your name — not yelling, just softly, like he was coaxing you home.

“Stop running. You’ll fall.”

You cried harder, the sound breaking from your throat. Your legs felt heavy, your shoes slipping on the wet ground. The streets all looked the same now — turn after turn, wall after wall — until you realised he’d led you here. You were running in circles.

The flicker came again, and you caught a glimpse of him through the rain. Still walking. Still calm. Still there.

“Please,” you sobbed, breath shaking, “why are you doing this to me?” His answer came closer now, like he was right behind you. “I told you, I’m keeping you safe.”

You turned one last corner — then froze. A shadow blocked the path ahead. The lights flickered, went out completely, and the rain turned into silence. You gasped, stepping backward.

And then everything went black.

When you woke, the first thing you felt was warmth. Too much of it. A blanket — soft, heavy — was tucked up to your chin, and something faintly floral lingered in the air. Not your apartment. Not Seokmin’s house. Not even Joshua’s office. Your eyes flew open.

The room was dim, the light a golden pool cast from a single desk lamp. Four walls, concrete, unfinished. A small window barred with metal. On a nearby table sat your phone, dead. Your shoes were gone, replaced with a pair of oversized socks.

Your heartbeat jumped into your throat. “Easy,” a voice murmured. You turned sharply. Jeonghan was seated in a chair by the bed, leaning forward, elbows on his knees. His hair was damp again, falling over his eyes, and there was a small cut along his jaw. The kind that didn’t belong to a man who’d just slept peacefully.

You opened your mouth, but no words came out. “Don’t scream,” he said softly. “The walls are soundproof anyway.” You froze.

He sighed, like he was tired, and stood up — too slow, too calm. “You fainted back there, but don’t worry, you’ll be safe here with me.” “Safe?” you snapped, voice trembling. “You kidnapped me.”

“Would you rather be dead?” The words hit like ice water. He said them so casually, so matter-of-factly, that you almost believed him. Jeonghan walked to the counter and poured something into a cup — tea, the same tea you always drink. He brought it over and set it beside you.

“Drink.” “I’m not thirsty.” “Yes, you are.” His voice stayed level, but something sharp slipped beneath it. “You haven’t eaten since yesterday. Your hands are shaking.”

He reached out to steady them before you could pull away. His palms were warm, steady. You hated the way it made your chest ache. “I’m not going to hurt you,” he said, softer now. “But I can’t let you go yet.”

You swallowed hard. “Why?” He smiled faintly, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “You think I’d ever let them touch you again?” You stared at him, heartbeat pounding. “Them?” His gaze flickered toward the door, then back to you. “They found you once before. They erased everything. You think I’d let that happen again?”

You shook your head, backing into the wall. “You sound insane.” “Maybe.” His tone was almost gentle. “But you’re alive. Because of me.”

He moved closer — not enough to touch, but enough that you could see the subtle twitch in his jaw, the sleeplessness under his eyes. His voice dropped low, almost tender

“You can hate me if it keeps you breathing.”

For a moment, the room went still. Only the faint hum of the lamp filled the silence. You could feel his eyes on you, too intent, too knowing. When you didn’t respond, Jeonghan exhaled and stepped back, setting a small bowl of food on the table.

“Eat. Sleep after. You need both.” He turned toward the door. “Jeonghan.” He paused, looking back over his shoulder. You wanted to scream at him, curse him, demand to leave — but the words that slipped out were smaller than you meant.

“Why?” For the first time, his smile faltered. “Because you were supposed to be gone already.” Then he left, the lock clicking softly behind him.

—

You tested your luck the next morning. The moment you heard the faint click of the outer door, you slipped from bed and tried the handle. Locked. Of course. You searched for another exit, maybe a window latch, a vent — something. Nothing.

When Jeonghan came back, you were standing by the door with your arms crossed. “You can’t keep me here,” you said. He only raised a brow, setting a small tray down on the table. “And yet, you haven’t stopped trying.”

“Because I’m not staying.” He walked closer slowly and deliberately, until the air between you tightened. “You’ll stay until it’s safe.” “Safe from what? From you?” That made him smile. “From everything else.”

You didn’t move when he brushed past you to open the curtains. Light poured in — soft morning gold. He looked too normal in it, like he didn’t belong to the darkness that had brought you here. You forced yourself to look away. “You can’t decide what’s best for me.”

“I already did,” he said quietly. Your pulse spiked. He reached up then, fingers brushing the edge of your sleeve to fix where it had slipped off your shoulder. Too gentle, too casual, and yet you froze.

“You’re still shaking,” he murmured. “I told you to eat.” You met his eyes. “Stop acting like you care.” Something flickered there — amusement? Pain? You couldn’t tell. He leaned just close enough for you to feel his breath against your temple.

“You’re hurting me,” he whispered. “But it doesn’t change what’s coming.” Then he stepped back, leaving the words to sink in, the quiet too heavy.

—

It had been a week. You stopped counting days after the third. The walls blurred together, and the air felt heavier the longer you stayed. Jeonghan came and went, silent most times, always bringing food, checking if you’d eaten. You didn’t resist anymore. You couldn’t.

When he walked in that evening, you were sitting on the floor, staring at the untouched meal he’d left that morning. He sighed — soft, weary. “You’re still not eating.” “I’m tired,” you muttered.

“I know.” His voice cracked a little, and before you could look up, he crouched in front of you, taking your hands into his. His palms were warm; yours weren’t. You tried to pull away, but he didn’t let you.

“I don’t want this anymore,” you whispered. “I don’t want to be scared every time you’re near.” Jeonghan didn’t answer immediately. Instead, his thumbs brushed over your knuckles — almost like he was memorising them.

“I know,” he said again. “And I wish I could tell you that you’ll never have to be. But it’s not true.” That was when the tears came — silent, angry, helpless. He lifted a hand to your face, wiped them before they fell.

“Why?” you asked, voice trembling. “Why are you doing this? Why me? You never answer my questions!” He hesitated. Then exhaled a long, tired breath. “Because this isn’t the first time they’ve tried to take you.”

You frowned, confused, but he didn’t stop. “I used to work for them. A covert intelligence group — off the books, off the radar. Joshua did too. He just doesn’t remember me.” He laughed once, bitter. “He was the golden one. Always clean, always perfect. I was the one who got my hands dirty.”

He stared at the floor, eyes dark with something between guilt and longing. “One of our cases went wrong. You.. were a witness. You weren’t supposed to see what you did, but you helped me anyway. You saved me. And when they found out, they made sure to erase you from everything — your records, your memory, even from the people who once knew you.”

Your chest tightened. “You’re lying.” “I wish I was.”

He let go of your hands then, only to reach for the locket that hung loosely from your neck — one you’d found in your old belongings but never knew why you kept. “I gave you this,” he whispered. “You told me it made you feel safe.”

You stared at it, at him. “Then why didn’t you stop them?” His throat worked, and his eyes flickered with something raw — regret. “Because I didn’t get there in time. And when I did.. you were gone. Not dead. Just.. erased. Everything you were, everything we were.”

The silence that followed was suffocating. “I thought letting you live a normal life was enough,” he said finally. “But they didn’t stop watching. They were waiting for a chance to finish what they started. So I came back.”

“To protect me,” you whispered bitterly.

“To protect what’s left of you.”

He smiled faintly — sad, tired, broken. “Even if you’ll never remember why I loved you in the first place.”

—

Joshua’s office was a mess of papers and open monitors. Every wall was covered with pinned photos, maps, and scribbled notes — connections only he could follow. Seokmin sat slouched on the couch, rubbing both hands down his face. “You’re telling me you can trace her phone but not her?”

Joshua didn’t answer. His jaw was tight as he stared at the flickering red dot on the screen. “The signal’s active but unstable. Like someone keeps turning it on and off. Whoever took her knows how to scramble location pings.” “Whoever-” Seokmin’s voice cracked. “Just say it. It’s Jeonghan, right?”

Joshua looked up then, eyes dark under the pale glow of the monitors. “Yeah. It’s him. Do you remember from six years ago.. Min?” For a long moment, neither spoke. Only the low hum of the computer filled the room. “Of course I do.. Josh”

Joshua’s fingers hovered above the keyboard, hesitant. “If she’s still got her phone, maybe-” “Call her,” Seokmin interrupted, voice shaking but firm. “Please, just call her.” Joshua dialed, heart thudding. The third ring — a click. “Y/N?” Static. Then a low breath.

“Y/N, it’s me. Are you safe? Just say something so I know you’re-” The line shifted, a sound of movement, and then another voice came through — smooth, calm, unhurried. “Joshua Hong,” Jeonghan drawled. “You never were good at staying out of things that didn’t concern you.”

Joshua’s back straightened. “Put her on the phone.” Jeonghan hummed, and you heard a faint gasp in the background. “She’s right here.” Then, quieter, “Tell him you’re fine.”

You hesitated, your voice small. “I’m fine.” “Tell him you don’t need him.” Your throat tightened. “I- I don’t need you, Joshua.” Jeonghan smiled faintly, though Joshua could hear it more than see it. “Good girl.”

Joshua’s knuckles turned white around the phone. “What the hell do you think you’re doing, Yoon Jeonghan?” “I’m keeping her alive,” Jeonghan said simply, Joshua could hear whimpers on the other side. “Something you couldn’t do before.”

“That’s not protection. That’s control.” “You wouldn’t understand.” Jeonghan’s voice dropped to a low whisper — not anger, but something worse. “You don’t know what it’s like to love someone so much you’d rather chain her than bury her.”

For a moment, there was silence, heavy, breathless. Joshua could almost hear Y/N’s trembling breath on the other end. “Jeonghan-” Joshua started, but the call was cut off “Stop bothering us.”

The room fell still again. Seokmin swallowed hard, Joshua didn’t even notice he was already standing beside him. “What did he say?” Joshua stared at the blank screen, Joshua remembers who Jeonghan is. Who Jeonghan was. “Enough,” he murmured, “..to know he’s not letting her go.”

—

“You know,” Jeonghan mumbled, pulling away slightly to watch you try to muffle your cries with a pillow. “You did better hiding your moans than your screams.”

The room was filled with the sound of soft moans and heavy breathing. Your back arched deeply off the table as Jeonghan gripped your thighs, lifting your hips off the surface completely. The position made his cock hit your deepest spots perfectly, making your whole body feel weak.

“Mmph,” you tried to suppress your noises as he pulled almost all the way out, only to push back inside roughly. Your big, round bottom smacked loudly against the table each time. You bit your lower lip hard to keep from screaming loudly. “Jeonghan!”

How did we end up here.. you’re asking?

“Why did you love me…?” you whispered, searching his face, desperate for an answer.

Jeonghan didn’t look at you right away. His gaze flickered to the floor, then the wall, anywhere but your eyes — as if the truth might hurt more if he saw the way you were looking at him. “Because you were the only person,” he murmured, voice breaking with quiet conviction, “who looked at me and saw who I am. Not an orphan. Not a weapon. Just.. me.”

You blinked back tears, heart twisting at the pain in his voice. Slowly, almost timidly, you reached up, fingers brushing his jaw — cold at first, then warm beneath your touch. “You still are,” you whispered.

That was all it took. Jeonghan exhaled shakily, eyes closing as he leaned forward. His hand came up to cradle the back of your neck, thumb brushing your skin like a promise he couldn’t keep. And then, wordlessly, he kissed you. At first you winced, trying to pull back, but he deepened the kiss.

Jeonghan murmured against your mouth, breaking the kiss to press his forehead against yours instead. His hand stayed at the back of your neck, gently holding you in place. “Don't pull away.” His thumb caressed your jaw lightly. “Not now.” His hips moved slowly, like he wants to make love instead of fucking.

“No.. Jeonghan,” you whispered weakly, trying to push him away slightly as he started grinding against you. His hands gripped your hips firmly to keep you in place. “Stop... I don't want this,” you pleaded softly, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes again.

He paused, his expression turning cold as he looked at you. The gentle touch disappeared instantly, replaced with rough handling as he suddenly lifted you up off the floor. Your legs wrapped around his waist automatically as he carried you back to the table. He dropped you onto it harshly.

“I’ll make you remember who I was to you.”

His voice was low and dangerous as he stepped between your legs. He grabbed your thighs and spread them wide, pulling your pants and underwear down roughly. His hands moved to unbuckle his belt, eyes locked with yours coldly. “Jeonghan.. please.”

His cock pressed against your folds, but instead of pushing inside like you expected he’ll do, he clicked his tongue stopped. His hands gripped your thighs tightly before suddenly pushing them further apart and lowering his head between your legs instead.

He licked your slit that made your whole body shiver. His tongue moved slowly, deliberately, as if he'd been waiting for this moment for ages. He licked it over and over again before finally pushing his tongue deep inside you. He held you in place as he ate you out. “Ughh- mhmmm”

You gasped, your hips lifting off the table automatically as Jeonghan’s tongue pushed deep inside your core. It wasn’t gentle or romantic — it was hungry and frustrated, like he was angry that he’d been denied this pleasure for so long. You kept repeating to yourself, you don’t like this.

As you were about to reach your climax, Jeonghan suddenly pulled away, making you whimper in frustration as your fingers tightened in his hair. He looked up at you with a smirk, his face shiny with your arousal. “You’re saying please for what again?” he asked mockingly before standing up.

Jeonghan hovered over you, his fingers gently touching your folds but not moving any further. His eyes locked onto yours, watching as tears still streamed down your cheeks. He stayed like that for a moment, just staring at you intensely before finally speaking.

“Push me away now,” he whispered hoarsely, his thumb gently brushing over your clit without pressure. His self-control was slipping, seeing you like this — so vulnerable and beautiful. If you didn't push him away soon, he would lose it and fuck you right there. “Last chance, sweetheart.”

The moment your lips pressed against his, he lost all sense of reason. He kissed you back fiercely, aggressively pushing his tongue into your mouth as his hands gripped your face. His fingers immediately plunged inside you without warning, curling upwards to hit that spot that made you moan into his kiss.

You remained complaining, wanting to push him away, but your body rejected the strength. He answered Joshua’s call in the middle of him pounding in you. Who would not be scared?! “Stop complaining. I already ended the call before you even moaned,” Jeonghan murmured, thrusting into you harder as he threw your phone on the bed. “Joshua didn’t hear a thing.”

As if on cue, Jeonghan hit an especially sensitive spot inside you, making you arch your back and let out a loud, long moan. The table creaked even louder, the sound filling the room along with your moans.

“Sucks that the room is soundproof,” Jeonghan groaned, thrusting into you deeply. “I would want the whole neighbourhood to know my name” He gripped your hips tightly, making the table bounce loudly with each thrust, making dents on the wall. The position hit your G-spot perfectly with each snap of his hips. Your moans grew louder and more desperate, “Ahhh- Jeonghan! Right there.. Ahhhn”

“Is this what you want, hmm?” Jeonghan teased between thrusts, his voice low and husky. “Being kidnapped and fucked everyday by me?” He slowed his thrusts, swirling his hips to grind against your spot. Your cunt clenched tightly around him at the suggestion, making him laugh darkly.

“Damnit” He muttered, his thrusts growing quicker as your cunt tightened around him. “Your reactions are driving me crazy,” he growled, swirling his hips again to hit your sweet spot. “Do you squeeze like this when men kidnap you in your fantasies?”

Your moans turned into incoherent whimpers and cries as Jeonghan continued to tease and fuck you mercilessly. “Answer me,” he demanded, his hand reaching around to play with your clit roughly. “Do you imagine getting fucked by strangers every night?”

Both moans grew even louder and more desperate at the dirty talk, your slit squeezing him so tightly he thought his dick might get chopped off. “Fuck, you’re so tight” he groaned, imagining you having the fantasies. “You're into being forced and used, aren't you?”

“And if I say yes..?” Your heavy-lidded eyes, tear stains down your cheeks, and saliva dripping from your open mouth as you tried to form words was the most erotic thing he’d ever seen. His hand slapped your clit, thumb pressing hard as he snapped “Answer me properly, sweetheart.” “UGH-! Yes.. yes”

Jeonghan smirked, his eyes darkening with lust as he reached under the drawer and pulled out a black blindfold. You immediately knew what he was planning, your eyes widening slightly as he leaned down to kiss you before placing the blindfold over your eyes.

He tightened the blindfold around your head, knowing exactly how much you hated darkness. He chuckled darkly as you immediately started to whimper and cry, your hands reaching out blindly as if searching for him. He grabbed your wrists and pinned them above your head, smirking against your lips. “You need to get used to darkness, sweetheart.”

His voice sends shivers down your spine. He knew how much this terrified you — the lack of sight, the unknown — and he was using it against you to heighten his own pleasure. His thrusts became harder and your tears came running down your cheek again.

He leaned back slightly, watching as tears streamed down your face, your body shook with sobs, having no eyesight with the blindfold covering your eyes. His cock throbbed inside you at the sight of your vulnerability. “Does this scare you?” he asked mockingly, knowing full well it did.

Jeonghan’s grip on your wrists tightened painfully as he began to fuck you in a fast pace, his hips slamming against yours with brutal force. “You’re so pathetic” he taunted, knowing his words would only make you cry harder.

He felt your body tensing up, your breath hitching as your orgasm built rapidly. Jeonghan smirked, knowing he was pushing you right to the edge. He slowed his thrusts slightly, wanting to draw out your pleasure without reaching his own climax just yet. “You coming, sweetheart?” You could only nod.

“Did I fucked you enough for you to lose your ability to speak, Y/N?” “Yes! Yes I’m coming.. I hate you- aghh”

Your orgasm hit you suddenly, your blindfolded state making everything feel more intense. You cried out loudly, your cunt clamping down around his cock as you came hard. Jeonghan groaned, loving how your terror made your orgasms even stronger, as you shake in his hold.

“Jeonghan.. jeonghan- hannie..” “Fuck” Jeonghan growled as you screamed his name over and over, completely lost in your orgasm. He growled more to the nickname that slipped your mouth. Your juices making his own release hover dangerously close. But he wasn't done with you yet.

As soon as your orgasm finished, he pulled out abruptly and flipped you onto your stomach. He lifted you easily, carrying you to the wall, pinning you against it with your face pressed into the cold surface and your ass tilted out towards him. Still completely blindfolded.

“Jeonghan..? I can’t see- AHH” Without warning, he slammed his hard cock back into your used, dripping cunt again. You screamed his name again as he began to pound into you mercilessly, your body bouncing off the wall with each brutal thrust. His hands gripped your hips tightly, pulling you back onto him as he fucked you standing up.

Jeonghan’s groans filled the room as he lost himself in the sensation of your tight cunt wrapped around him. He became completely non-verbal, his grunts and growls the only sounds escaping his lips as he fucked you harder and faster against the wall, reaching his high as well.

Your second orgasm struck without you noticing it as Jeonghan’s teeth sank into your shoulder. You screamed his name, your slit gripping his cock tightly as he finally reached his climax, mixing his hot cum with yours deep inside your womb. Am I even safe today..? “Why..? Ugh- inside..”

Still buried deep inside you, he held your body against the wall as both of your bodies shook from the intense orgasms. His hands moved to grip your hips tightly as he pulsed inside you, filling you even more. The blindfold remained, keeping you disoriented and vulnerable.

Suddenly, Jeonghan pulled out slightly before slamming back in one last time, pushing his remaining cum deeper inside you. He stayed there for a moment, breathing heavily against your neck before slowly pulling out completely. His cum mixed with yours began leaking out slightly as he held you upright against the wall.

Without a word, he slowly slid down your body, carrying your legs over his shoulders and pinning your hips even higher on the wall. He buried his face between your legs, his tongue immediately diving into your messy slit to taste the mixed cum leaking out. He pushed it back inside you with his tongue, groaning at the taste of both of you.

“Fuckin- hmmm aghh” Your moans filled the room as his tongue still inside you, your cunt clenching around the flowing liquid. His breath was heavy and ragged against your sensitive flesh as he continued to lick and suck, keeping his cum trapped deep, sending more vibrations and heat in between your legs.

After thoroughly cleaning your folds with his tongue, Jeonghan suddenly stood up and threw you to a soft mattress, you assume it’s the bed, making you shriek as you were completely unaware of what’s happening. “Jeonghan..?” The room fell silent except for the creaking of the bed as he crawled over you, his thin figure caging you in.

“Only here, sweetheart,” he whispered against your ear, his face hovering just inches above yours. You could feel his breath on your skin and the weight of his body pressing down on you, but you still couldn’t see anything through the blindfold. His hands gripped your wrists above your head, pinning you down.

“Still can’t see a thing, can you?” he murmured, his hips shifting slightly. Before you could respond, he was pushing back inside your cum-filled cunt slowly, making you gasp. “Just admit, it’s making you more excited.” It is. Oh hell it is.

“Your little pussy is so messy right now.. so fucking full of my cum,” he groaned, pushing deeper until his balls slapped against your ass. “And here I am, filling it up even more.” He began to move, his length sliding in and out of your soaked folds, creating wet, sloppy noises.

“It hurts now-” You cried in overstimulation. You just came and now he’s fucking you again. “Shh, sweetheart.. just feel me,” Jeonghan whispered hoarsely as he picked up the pace, his hips snapping forward with each thrust. Your moans filled the room, “That's it- take my cock..”

“Do you feel that?” he growled, his fingers tightening around your wrists as he continued to pound into you. “Feels like your little pussy is getting even tighter” He broke off with a groan as he felt you start to clench around him, knowing exactly what was happening.

“Gonna make a fucking mess of the bed” he whispered against your ear, his thrusts becoming more forceful and erratic. “Go on..” He released one of your wrists to reach one of your breasts, playing at your nipple.

“Stop-” You wriggled beneath him, trying to make sense of the strong sensation in your lower belly. “Jeonghan! Sto- please” You whimpered, “I think.. I’m gonna pee- ahh! It feels like-” You tried to push him off you. “Oh my dear sweetheart.. that’s not pee. Shh.. you’re fine. Go on, my little squirter.”

Ignoring your pleas, Jeonghan continued to thrust and exchanged his fingers with his mouth on your nipple, pushing you more to reach your orgasm. “Scream my name, when you did so” he groaned, his hips bucking wildly against yours. “Squirt all over my fucking dick.”

Your body convulsed and a powerful jet of fluid gushed out of you, soaking the both of you and the bed beneath. “JEONGHAN- AGHHH UHH MHMM” You cried out in shock and embarrassment as more liquid followed the first, Jeonghan’s cock still buried deep inside you, triggering wave after wave of intense pleasure.

As your cunt continued to spasm and squirt around him, Jeonghan let out a deep groan and came hard inside you again. He kissed you fiercely as he tried to silence any sounds escaping from your mouth due to the overwhelming sensation of both of you orgasming together intensely.

Slowly pulling out of you, he carefully removed the blindfold. Your eyes fluttered open, still dilated and sensitive from the intense experience. You looked at him with a mix of post-orgasm haze and slight embarrassment, which only made him harder again. Those innocent eyes.. Fuck.

The world outside his hideout was silent again. Morning light began to creep through the cracks of the boarded windows, brushing faint gold over the floor. You were fast asleep, breath steady for the first time in days.

Jeonghan sat at the edge of the bed, shirt messy, eyes unfocused. He traced a hand through your hair and whispered something you didn’t hear. It sounded like a prayer. Across the city, Joshua’s office was alive with static. The faint buzz of the tracker Seokmin got from Joshua’s coworkers “Got it,” Seokmin said, leaning closer to the monitor. “Signal’s faint, but it’s moving again.”

Joshua straightened, the exhaustion in his eyes burning into focus. It’s been weeks of not being able to sleep “How far?” “An hour out of the city. Old industrial area,” Seokmin replied. “She must’ve turned the phone on again — or someone did.” Joshua said, completely aware who turned it on.. Jeonghan. But why? I would never understand that man.

Joshua grabbed his coat, already heading for the door. “Then we don’t wait. I’ll go, stay here, it's not safe.” Seokmin looked up. “You really think I’m not going with you? That’s my friend! My safety is not my priority right now!”

Joshua didn’t answer right away. He’s amused, those weeks of him being relentless, Seokmin didn’t leave his office, if Joshua’s determined to find you, Seokmin’s thrice. “It’s dangerous,” he said finally. “You’re putting yourself in danger” “Like I didn’t before after what you did to her six years ago.”

The static from the tracker grew louder — a slow, pulsing beat. And for the first time, it wasn’t just noise. It was a countdown. Joshua then let Seokmin ride his car.

—

The hideout was silent when Joshua and Seokmin arrived. The old warehouse loomed over the pier, half-eaten by rust and fog. Only one dim light flickered through a narrow window — a weak pulse of life inside a dead building.

Joshua raised a hand, signaling Seokmin to stay close. The heavy door creaked open with a long metallic groan. Their footsteps echoed faintly on the concrete floor as they entered, flashlights sweeping across the room. There’s another room inside, when they opened it, the room looked completely normal. Almost too normal and warm. Then they saw her.

You were there — lying on a narrow bed, wrapped in a blanket. Peaceful. Breathing evenly. Not a single mark on your skin. Seokmin froze, disbelief flashing across his face before he bolted forward. “Y/N!”

He dropped to his knees beside you, his hands trembling as he brushed your hair out of your face. “You’re okay.. you’re really okay.” His voice cracked. “God, I thought-” He couldn’t finish, tears spilling freely as he pressed your hand to his forehead.

Joshua stayed outside. His gun was drawn, his eyes sweeping the shadows. The silence wasn’t right. He could feel someone watching. Then, from the far corner of the room, a voice — soft, quiet, almost too calm.

“She’s safe.”

Joshua spun, gun raised, but stopped. Jeonghan stood in the doorway leading to another room, his hands slightly raised, no weapon in sight. The dim light softened the sharpness of his features — he looked exhausted, pale, and strangely at peace. “She needs rest,” Jeonghan said quietly. “Don’t wake her, just carry her back.”

“Don’t go near her,” Joshua said, keeping his aim steady. Jeonghan only smiled faintly. “You won’t need that.” His eyes flicked to the gun, then back to Joshua’s face. “If I wanted to hurt her, I would’ve done it long before you got here, I thought you’re the smart one between us.”

Joshua froze. “Why.. why did you do this?” Jeonghan exhaled slowly, gaze drifting toward you. “You might not remember me Shua-” “I do Han.” Now it’s Jeonghan’s time to freeze, eyes widened as he looked at Joshua again.

“You were my partner for how many years, do you really don’t have that faith in me to think I’ve forgotten about you. You quit years ago and left me all alone, thinking you died. It ate me alive Han! Guilt ate me up..” Joshua held his gun down and closed his eyes for a minute.

Jeonghan was utterly shocked, especially when Seokmin came out of the room, holding you, your arms on his shoulders, completely awake. “I’m asking you why?” Joshua repeated his question, emphasising it word by word.

“Because she’s safer now than she’s ever been. They won’t find her again. They can’t. Not after what I’ve done.” Jeonghan said, looking directly at you. Joshua frowned. “What does that mean? What bullshit are you saying this time?!”

But Jeonghan only gave him a small, tired smile — the kind that looked like surrender. “Just make sure she remembers me.. Shua.” A cold gust blew through the open doorway. When Joshua turned his head to glance at Seokmin for a second — Jeonghan was gone.

—

Your body ached, heavy, sore, every muscle complaining with every small movement. The bandages around your arm tugged when you tried to sit up. The room was familiar. A couch. Some blankets. A half-folded laundry basket in the corner. Seokmin’s place.

“Hey, hey, easy,” Seokmin said quickly, appearing from the kitchen with a steaming mug. His voice was gentle, softer than usual — the kind of tone people use when they’re afraid you might break. “You’re still recovering. Here.” He set the mug beside you, carefully adjusting the blanket over your legs. His fingers lingered for a second too long — maybe to make sure you were really there.

You gave a faint smile. “Thanks, Seok.” He nodded, avoiding your eyes as he sat on the edge of the bed. “You scared us,” he murmured, his voice cracking. “You have no idea what it was like! This is the second time I don’t want to lose y-” He stopped himself, pressing his lips together, swallowing hard.

Before you could say anything, another voice broke the quiet. “She needs rest, Min.” Joshua stood near the doorway, his posture stiff, arms crossed. The shadows under his eyes were darker than you remembered. He looked older — worn in the way only guilt could age someone.

Seokmin glanced at him, then back at you. “I’ll get some soup ready.” He left quietly, closing the door behind him.

You sat there for a while, listening to the rain. It had been raining for weeks. As if the world couldn’t stop grieving. Joshua didn’t move. Didn’t speak. He just stared at the floor, jaw clenched, his thoughts somewhere you couldn’t reach. Finally, you whispered, “He didn’t hurt me.”

Joshua’s head lifted slightly, though his face remained unreadable. “I know.” You studied him — the way his hand twitched at his side, the tension that never left his shoulders. “You knew him,” you said carefully. “Jeonghan.”

His silence was answer enough. “He told me.. but I don’t understand,” you continued softly. “Why did it feel like he cared? Even when he was-” You stopped, remembering the way Jeonghan’s voice trembled when he said your name. “What was he to you?”

Joshua exhaled through his nose — a slow, tired sound that carried years’ worth of ghosts. “He was my partner,” he said quietly. “Six years ago. Before everything went to hell.” You blinked. “Partner?”

“In the network,” he explained, voice low and steady. “I handled papers. He handled guns. We were.. close. Too close, maybe. Until one day, he vanished. No trace. Everyone thought he was dead. I thought he was dead.” His jaw tightened. “We were working a high-risk case at the time. I thought I lost him because of me.”

He paused, his fingers curling into a fist. “I blamed myself. Every mission after that, every failure, every death — I told myself it was because I wasn’t enough to save him.. to save you.” You hesitated, throat tightening, not fully understanding what he meant. “And me?”

Joshua finally looked up, his eyes heavy. “You were part of something bigger, long before you knew it,” he said quietly. “You’re.. part of our enemy.”

Your breath hitched. “What?” His eyes flickered — not cruel, but haunted. “You and Jeonghan.. both of you were friends. But you betrayed him.”

“Next time.. we can be more than friends,” you said, voice low and cold. You were standing on a rooftop, the wind biting through your jacket, gun raised at Jeonghan’s head. He didn’t move. Didn’t flinch. His eyes were steady, almost peaceful.

You smirked, finger tightening on the trigger. But before you could fire, a shot rang out. Your body jerked. Pain exploded through your shoulder — burning, sharp.

You looked down. Blood. Your blood. Ahh.. so I’m the one who got shot. Jeonghan’s expression shattered. Fear. Desperation. He screamed your name — once, broken and raw — before everything went dark.

And the last thing you saw before collapsing was the man holding the gun. Jeonghan’s partner, Joshua.

Your breath hitched as the memory slammed into you. “That’s why he hated me,” Joshua murmured, voice trembling now, “because I almost killed you.” You stared at him, heart aching, the pieces finally fitting together in all the wrong ways.

“Jeonghan always believed in saving one person, even if it meant losing everything else,” Joshua continued softly. “That person was you.” The room was quiet for a long time. The rain had softened to a drizzle, the scent of soup drifting from the kitchen.

You swallowed hard. “That’s not what he told me.” Joshua’s eyes darkened. “He lied, Y/N. You survived but lost your memories. Do you really think he’d let you remember what you were supposed to do to him? He knows you better than anyone. He knew you’d run.”

Your lips parted, but no sound came out. Joshua looked away, eyes fixed on the rain-streaked window. “I helped you because I knew ever since the beginning. He’s not the same Jeonghan we used to know. I never wanted to aim the gun at you before, but I had to stop you from pulling the trigger on him.”

He drew a long breath. “I wanted you to live normally.. maybe then, my guilt wouldn’t eat me alive. But him?” His voice cracked, quiet but final.

“He’s obsessed. Too much. He changed ever since what happened and I don’t want you to be in danger again.”

You shifted your position, hugged your knees to your chest, mind spinning. “Then.. who’s ‘them’? Who is Jeonghan saving me from?” Your voice was small, tentative, but the question burned in your chest.

Joshua moved forward, sat beside you, hands clasped tightly. His gaze was fixed somewhere beyond the walls of the apartment, but the weight in his words made the room shrink around you. “I don’t know.. himself? Me?,” he said, voice low but steady. He let out a short, bitter laugh, almost hollow. “Y/N.. we dismantled your organisation years ago. After Jeonghan left, you’ve been safe. You were always safe.”

You blinked, confusion and disbelief tangling inside you. “Then why?” “I was the one who kept checking on you, in the hospital, long after Seokmin thought everything was fine,” Joshua continued, jaw tight. “I made sure someone was there if you needed me. I was the one who told Wonwoo, Seokmin’s brother, to call me, knowing you’d need protection — not from anyone else, but from him.”

His eyes finally met yours, intense and raw. “He’s not protecting you. He’s controlling you.”

The words hit you like ice. For a moment, silence filled the room. Rain tapped against the windows, soft and relentless, and the realisation began to settle: everything Jeonghan had done — every act of ‘care,’ every whispered warning — had been a cage, and you had been trapped inside it without even knowing.

“Find him.” You said that made Joshua flinch a little, not believing what you just said. You look at his eyes and repeat what you said, “find him, Joshua please. I need to talk to him.”

The door slammed behind Jeonghan with a heavy thud. Joshua’s coworkers had restrained him, forcing him into a stark, fluorescent-lit room — one of those cold, impersonal interrogation rooms that smelled faintly of bleach and authority.

Jeonghan thrashed against the cuffs, eyes blazing with fury. “Didn’t I tell you? I’d leave you all alone! Just leave me alone too?!” His voice was sharp, desperate, tinged with a dangerous edge that made the room seem smaller, hotter. Joshua stayed calm, unflinching. “I know you’ll never leave her alone,” he said quietly, almost coldly.

A smirk curved Jeonghan’s lips, dark and knowing, as he chuckled. The tension in the room thickened. He straightened, his movements deliberate, cuffed hands held behind him, and began pacing toward Joshua. “You smarty.. good shoes,” he said, eyes glinting with amusement. “You’ve always been.”

Joshua’s gaze remained steady, but his jaw tightened slightly. There was history there — unspoken words and old wounds — and Jeonghan could feel it like a pulse.

Then the smirk faltered. His dark eyes widened slightly as they landed on you, standing at the doorway. Time seemed to stall. Joshua stepped back, nodding briefly, giving you space.

Jeonghan froze mid-step. The sound of your quiet breathing filled the room. You crossed the floor slowly, the faintest click of your shoes on the tile echoing like a heartbeat. “Aren’t you gonna sit?” you asked softly, tilting your head, calm but pointed.

For the first time in hours, Jeonghan’s smirk wavered. He glanced at the cold chair in the corner, then back at you, as if measuring whether this moment could ever be safe or if it had already passed. “Jeonghan, sit.” And he did.

The chair scraped lightly against the floor as Jeonghan finally sat, hands cuffed behind him, the table creating a careful distance between you. Silence hung thick, heavy, as if the room itself was holding its breath.

Finally, he broke it, voice low, hesitant. “How are you?” You didn’t answer. He leaned forward slightly, the faintest tremor betraying him. “Did Joshua hurt you? Are yo-”

“Joshua treated me better than how you did,” you cut him off, your words calm, measured. His jaw clenched, sharp lines forming on his face as he looked away, frustration and something darker simmering just beneath his skin. I need to see first if you’re gonna continue lying on my face.

I need to know if the Jeonghan before is still in you.

“Jeonghan.. can I ask?” you began, voice quiet but steady. He lifted his gaze to you, the storm in his eyes giving way to something raw. “Who am I?”

The truth spilled from him, slow and unguarded. He told you everything — why he stalked you, why he abducted you, why he did everything. He admitted it all, confessing that every action had been fueled by fear of losing you again. That he had wanted to give you a choice, to let you live without him if you wished. “Leave me alone, if you want, sweetheart.”

He is. Hannie is still there.

You let the weight of his words sink in, then surprised him with a quiet, sharp declaration “My memories.. they came back, weeks after Joshua found you.” For a moment, the room felt colder, the light harsher, his breath caught in his throat. Then, something broke in him. He leaned forward, voice trembling, tears starting to fall. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, broken and raw, each word heavy with guilt.

“I’m so sorry.. I’m sorry, Y/N. God.. I’m so sorry.” You stood, heart aching at the sight of him like this, and moved closer, hands lifting to cup his face. His tears kept coming, hot and unrelenting, and he didn’t stop, didn’t try to pull away. “Why are you crying?” you asked softly, brushing your thumbs across his cheeks.

“Because- because you were better off not remembering your dark past,” he choked out. “But my selfish acts.. only brought you back. I- I failed you.”

“Hey.. aren’t I supposed to be angry at Shua and not at you?” He only looked at you, with tears on his eyes. “I already forgiven Shua, Jeonghan.. you should too.”

You felt your chest tighten, the weight of his confession pressing against your ribs. “You made me feel safe and terrified at the same time,” you murmured. “That’s what love looks like when you’ve forgotten how to be human,” he replied, voice shaking, tears spilling freely.

“Then learn again.. with me,” you whispered, leaning closer.

You pressed your palms firmly against his cheeks, searching his eyes for the boy you remembered, the man he had been — flawed, brave, obsessive, but fiercely yours. Slowly, you brought your lips to his. The kiss was gentle at first, a question, a bridge. Then it deepened, desperate and tender, as if to make up for all the time, all the fear, all the distance. His tears never stopped, and neither did your embrace.

In that moment, the world outside — the chase, the danger, the past — melted away. There was only him. Only you. Only the fragile, broken, beautiful thread of love that had somehow survived everything.

Even though his hands are cuffed at his back, you could feel how he never stopped the kiss and only wants to deepen it more, not wanting to feel the air if that means his lips being pulled away from yours. You laughed, softly, and pulled away, making his eyes, lingered on yours, confused and betrayed.

“I don’t think continuing this here is a good thing.”

“Why..?”

“There are cameras, Jeonghan.”

You looked at him, pressed your lips again, and repeated what you said that made him cry even more.

“There are cameras, hon.. my Hannie.”

𝐀/𝐍 ➙ If you’re reading this — thank you so much for reading!! likes and reblogs are super appreciated ❤️ I wrote this one so fast hahaha it’s funny because this plot has been stuck in my head for months already. anyway, I hope you enjoyed it!! stay tuned for the next one, kinktober’s almost ending :((

⋆˚࿔ 𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 : @blssble @astraleaa @kwonxy @k4trinabluu @ateez-atiny380 @loveforred @chandaleeeee @starringhani @acphengene @yoonjeo @shininghoshstar @minghaooswife

If you’d like to be part of my permanent taglist, feel free to drop a comment or send an ask!! I’d love to include you ❤️

[nchonny]

this is literally the best thing i've ever read in fucking YEARS.

[devotedlykoneshots]

Yoon Jeonghan : Older

Genre: 🔞,mdni, age gap (reader is 24), nothing too crazy, semi established relationship

Word count:8786

Yoon Jeonghan was a passionate and driven individual, but he also had a stubborn streak that made things complicated for you.

You first crossed paths at a supermarket when you accidentally collided with him, resulting in you dropping your eggs. He promptly offered to cover the cost.

"I'll pay for it," he said, but you quickly shook your head, not wanting him to feel like he had to help or think you couldn't handle it on your own.

"You don't need to," you replied, but he was insistent, and it was evident he wasn't going to let it go.

"I do, it's my bad that you dropped it," he maintained.

As you approached the register where your mother and young daughter were waiting, one item somehow became a total of everything you had. You refused his offer, but he was persistent.

"You really don't need to pay for it," you reiterated your decline, but he was already taking out his credit card.

"I want to help, really, and don’t worry about repaying me," he said with a smile, causing you to bite your bottom lip.

After a mild reprimand from him and your mother, you reluctantly allowed him to pay for your items—this was when you first met him.

You encountered him again at the bar on your only day off, where he slipped into the seat right next to you and initiated a conversation.

"I'm honestly beginning to think you're following me," you quickly catch onto the joke and turn to face him.

"Wow, you got me! I just can't seem to get enough of you since our initial meeting," he laughed, shaking his head while signaling to the bartender, but his gaze remained fixed on you.

"Looks like you've had a long day," he said with a small, knowing smile. You looked up from your drink and met his eyes, lifting your glass a little as if to agree with him. It was a simple question, but it felt like he really saw how tired you were. It was a nice change from just being another face in a crowded bar.

You gave a short, tired laugh and told him, "You have absolutely no idea." With that, you finished the rest of your drink in one long gulp, the ice clinking against the empty glass as you set it down. He immediately offered to get you another one. You tried to say no, that you were fine, but he just shook his head and insisted. It was sweet, and you didn't have the energy to argue, so you let him.

That small conversation was the start of everything. Soon, your phone was buzzing with texts from him at all hours of the day. He was funny and charming, and you found yourself smiling at your screen like a teenager. The texts quickly turned into actual dates. You went out for dinner, saw movies, and took long walks just talking for hours.

It all felt so easy and natural, like you had known each other for a long time. For a while, it seemed like this could actually be something special, something that might last. You were genuinely happy and excited to see where things would go. It felt like you were finally on the right track with someone who just got you.

But then, it all came to a sudden and grinding halt. The topic of age came up, as it always does eventually. When you told him how old you were, you saw something shift in his eyes. The easy smile he always had just faded away. He got quiet, and the mood turned awkward and uncomfortable.

He tried to play it cool, but you knew right away that it was a dealbreaker for him. And just like that, it was over. The constant texts stopped, the calls ended, and all the plans you had made together just disappeared into thin air. He completely ghosted you, all because of a number. That one little detail was enough to erase everything that had felt so real between you.

Which brings you to right now, standing here in his living room. The silence is heavy and a little suffocating. You're on one side of the room, and he's on the other, creating a physical distance that matches the emotional one between you. You’re just waiting, watching him as he carefully pours a glass of dark amber bourbon for you. His movements are slow and deliberate, as if he’s trying to put off the conversation he knows is coming.

You just stand there, holding your breath, waiting for him to finally turn around, hand you the drink, and say whatever it is he brought you here to say. The tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife, and all you can do is wait for him to be the first one to speak.

He was holding out a drink for you, and you recognized it immediately. It was that specific brand, the exact same one you were drinking at the bar all that time ago. You remembered that night so clearly. It was the night you took a chance, the night you decided to go home with him. That one drink was what started this whole thing between you two, this little relationship that was now feeling so complicated and uncertain.

It felt like a lifetime ago, even though it hadn't been that long. Seeing that bottle in his hand now didn't bring back happy memories. Instead, it just felt like a cheap trick, a way to remind you of the good old days before things got so weird and quiet between you.

"Here," he offered, his voice soft. But you weren't having it. You didn't even make a move to take the glass from him. You just stood there and folded your arms tightly across your chest, making it clear you weren't interested in drinks or fake nostalgia. You watched as a tired sigh escaped his lips.

He seemed to understand you weren't going to play along. Without another word, he turned and carefully placed the drink on a small table next to the couch, as if he was handling something fragile. The silence in the room suddenly felt heavy, and you knew you had to be the one to break it before the nervousness completely took over.

"So, why am I here?" you finally asked, the words coming out a little sharper than you intended.

"Seriously, what's this about? I haven't heard a single word from you in weeks. Not a call, not a text, nothing. I figured you had just disappeared. Then, out of the blue, you pop up and tell me I need to come over right away." You needed him to give you a straight answer. His whole attitude was off. He was too calm, too serious, and it was setting off all the alarm bells in your head. You just wanted to know what was going on.

He finally looked you in the eye. "We need to talk," he said. His voice was low and even, but the four words hit you like a punch to the gut. Your entire body went rigid. Your shoulders tensed up, and you felt a cold, sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach.

That phrase.

It was the one phrase that nobody ever wants to hear. It was a classic for a reason. In your experience, nothing good has ever, ever happened after someone says, "we need to talk." It was always the beginning of the end, and you had a terrible feeling this time would be no different.

"About what?" you asked, trying to play it cool. On the outside, you hoped you looked completely calm, but on the inside, you were totally freaking out. Your heart was pounding in your chest, and your mind was racing. You just tried to keep your expression neutral, hoping he couldn't see the panic in your eyes.

"Us," he said, his voice quiet.

That one word made your stomach drop. You finally lifted your head to look at him properly. The expression on his face was just gut-wrenching. He looked so sad and guilty, and you could tell he hated seeing the confused and worried look that was now all over your face. He looked like he wanted to take back whatever he was about to say before he even said it.

"I'm not sure I like where this is going," you said, your own voice barely a whisper.

He didn't respond. Instead, he slowly walked around the table and stopped right in front of you. He reached out, his hands hesitating for a second before he gently took both of yours. You let him. You just couldn't bring yourself to pull away.

The truth was, you were completely head-over-heels for him. You had a massive crush on this man, and even in a moment like this, when you knew something was wrong, you still craved his touch. It was a stupid weakness, but you couldn't help it. A part of you would always want him close, no matter the circumstances.

"Y/N," he began. The way he said your name sent a shiver down your spine. It wasn't the warm, happy way he usually said it. His voice was heavy, full of a deep sadness and regret that made it clear he was about to break your heart.

That was all the confirmation you needed. You snatched your hands back from his and shook your head, taking a small step away. Suddenly, all the little pieces from the night started to click together in your mind. The weird drink he got, the way he disappeared for a while and then came back acting so strange. And now, the look on his face. He looked like he had just done something horrible and was finally about to confess.

You knew exactly what was coming next, and you didn't want to hear a single word of it.

"Please, don't," you whispered, trying to stop him before he could say the words you knew were coming. Your voice was unsteady, and you could feel the hot sting of tears welling up in your eyes, making everything blurry. You bit your lip, doing everything you could to keep them from falling, but you could already feel that familiar lump forming in your throat. You just wanted him to be quiet, to not say what he was about to say, because you knew it would break your heart.

But he didn't stop. He seemed determined to just get it over with, like ripping off a band-aid quickly to lessen the pain. "This isn't going to work," he said, his voice flat. "This thing between us... it just can't work." The moment he said it, you lost your fight. The tears you were holding back finally escaped, rolling in hot streaks down your cheeks.

You couldn't believe this was happening. It felt like the ground had just disappeared from beneath your feet.

"What changed?" you managed to ask, your voice cracking.

"Everything was fine. What happened?" As you spoke, he couldn't look at you anymore. His eyes dropped straight to the floor, as if he found the carpet suddenly fascinating. It was clear that he couldn't stand seeing you cry. The sight of your pain was obviously hurting him, too, and he couldn't bring himself to face you while you were so upset.

After a long, quiet moment, he finally spoke. His voice came out all scratchy and rough, like it took a huge effort just to get the words out. "It's your age," he said softly. "You're young, and I'm older than you." Each word sounded heavy and painful. It was strange, but in that moment, it almost seemed like saying it was hurting him more than it was hurting you to hear it.

He looked completely miserable.

You stared at him in disbelief. "My age?" you asked, your voice barely a whisper.

"That's seriously what this is about?" It felt like the most ridiculous excuse you had ever heard. For a second, you hoped he was joking. But then he slowly lifted his head, his sad eyes finally meeting yours. He just nodded, and in that simple movement, you knew he was serious. This was really the end.

When he warned you that people would start talking, you couldn't help but laugh a little. You just shrugged your shoulders, because honestly, what other people thought about you was the last thing on your mind. You truly could not care less about gossip or rumors.

"So what? Let them," you said, your voice calm and steady.

Your casual attitude seemed to make him even more anxious. He took a sharp, deep breath and shook his head, looking completely overwhelmed by the idea. He nervously ran his fingers through his long, dark hair, a habit he always had when he was stressed out. It was obvious that unlike you, he cared a lot about what others were saying. The thought of being the subject of town gossip was clearly eating him alive.

"It's just not that easy," he mumbled, avoiding your eyes.

You stared at him, completely baffled by what you were hearing. Was this for real? It felt like you were watching some kind of after-school special about peer pressure. He was an adult, yet here he was, letting the opinions of strangers completely control his life. The whole situation felt ridiculous, and you were starting to feel a little insulted that he thought this was a good enough reason.

That's when it all started to click. Your eyes drifted around the expensive hotel room he had booked for the two of you. It was supposed to be a nice getaway, but now it just felt cold and impersonal.

"Wait a minute," you said, your voice flat.

"Is that why we're here? Did you seriously bring me to this fancy hotel just to break up with me?"

He didn't say anything, but he took another one of those deep, shaky breaths. His silence was all the confirmation you needed.

Finally, after a long, awkward pause, he looked at you with pleading eyes. "I really want us to still be friends," he said softly.

You let out a short, bitter scoff. Friends? Was he actually serious? There was absolutely no way in hell you could be friends with someone who would throw away your relationship because he was too scared of what other people might think. The idea was so absurd it was almost funny. A friendship with him was completely, and totally, out of the question.

It was an impossible suggestion. After all, he’d seen every part of you, and you’d both shared moments that friends just don't share. Thinking you could go back to being casual pals after everything you’d been through was just not realistic.

It would be a constant, painful reminder of what you used to have and what you had just lost.

Pretending that intimacy never existed felt like it would be a special kind of torture, and you weren't willing to put yourself through that kind of heartache.

"Yeah, I can't do that," you said, making it as clear and straightforward as possible. There was no room for misinterpretation in your voice.

He looked genuinely puzzled by your response. "Why not?" he asked, his eyebrows bunching together in confusion. It was almost frustrating that he didn't immediately understand why his request was so unreasonable. Did he really think it would be that easy for you to just switch off your emotions?

You knew you had to be completely honest with him, even if it made things more awkward. "Because I'm always going to want you," you admitted, trying to keep your voice steady.

"Trying to be just friends isn't going to change how I feel about you. It doesn't work like that for me."

His eyebrows shot up in surprise when you said that. He moved a little closer, and your eyes immediately dropped to the floor. You would look anywhere else in the room, focusing on a loose thread on the carpet, a scuff mark on the wall—anywhere but at his face. Looking at him right now felt too vulnerable.

"How do you feel about me?" he asked, and his tone was so eager and curious. You just shook your head, still staring at the floor. The nerve of him. It felt so unfair that he wanted you to spell out all your feelings for him, as if he wasn't the one who had just broken your heart not even two minutes ago. It was like he wanted the satisfaction of hearing how much you cared, right after deciding he didn't care enough to stay.

"It doesn't really matter anymore," you said, trying to sound casual about it.

"This is it for us. After tonight, we're not going to see each other again, so what's the point?" You reached for the drink sitting on the table, not really thinking about it. You chugged the whole thing down way faster than you normally would and set the empty glass back down with a soft clink. You just wanted the conversation to be over.

"No, I want to know. Tell me," he insisted. He was giving you that look again, the one that told you he wasn't going to let this go. He could be so incredibly stubborn when he wanted to be. You tried to ignore him, but he wasn't having it.

"Please," he added, his voice a little softer this time. That one word was enough to make you pause. You glanced over at him, the frustration just melting away. With a small shrug, you decided there was no use fighting it anymore. You got up and walked around him, needing to put some distance between the two of you before you could say what you needed to say.

You stopped on the other side of the room, your back still mostly to him.

"I think I'm in love with you," you said. You made sure your voice was clear and loud enough for him to hear you from across the room. You didn't need to look to know that his eyes were following you, watching your every move.

The silence that followed felt heavy. You were almost at the door when he finally spoke.

"I really wish things were different," he said, his voice full of a sadness that matched your own. You stopped with your hand on the doorknob and turned your head to look back at him one last time.

"Bye, Jeonghan," you whispered, ready to leave it all behind. You started to pull the door open, but you never got the chance to walk through it. You didn't even hear him move, but in a split second, he was there. His hand slammed against the door, pushing it closed right after you'd barely opened it. The click of the latch echoed in the quiet room.

"Hold on," he said. "I don't want you to leave and drive while you're this angry."

You kept your back to him, refusing to give him the satisfaction of seeing your face. Even without looking, you could picture him chewing on his lower lip, a nervous habit you’d come to know so well.

"Worrying about me is a privilege reserved for my boyfriend," you said sharply. You tried the door again, but he was quicker, shutting it again before you could get out.

"Please, just look at me," he begged.

"No, thank you," you replied, trying to keep your voice steady.

He said your name softly. "Baby, please."

"I really need to go now," you insisted, feeling trapped.

"Not until you talk to me," he said, his voice firm.

"There’s nothing to talk about," you snapped. "You want to dump me, and I don't want to be dumped. End of story."

"I don't want to break up with you! Are you crazy?" he said, his own frustration finally showing.

You felt a surge of anger at his mixed signals. "You're so confusing! A minute ago, you said this wasn't going to work out. You said there's nothing I can do to change how old I am, so what else am I supposed to think?"

"I know," he sighed, sounding defeated. "I like you so much. God, I don't think I can actually stand here and watch you walk out that door."

Finally, you spun around to face him, your hurt and confusion spilling out. "Why do a few years matter this much to you? It doesn't change the fact that we're in love. We could have something really good if you'd stop being so ridiculously stubborn about this. We're both adults, and we both know what we want. You're treating this like it's some kind of crime."

You couldn't believe this was happening. After months of what had honestly been the happiest time of your life, he was choosing to end it all. And his reason—that the age difference was just too much for him—felt like the weakest excuse in the world.

The age gap had never been a big deal to you. He was almost thirty, and you were in your mid-twenties, but the years between you felt like nothing. For him, though, it was clearly everything. It was a huge wall he kept putting up, and you were getting tired of trying to climb over it every single time.

"You're just trying to convince yourself you don't want this," you said, trying to keep your voice even.

"Telling yourself that you don't feel the same way I do isn't going to help anyone. It's not helping me, and it's definitely not helping you." He didn't answer. He just looked stressed and ran a hand through his hair, a nervous habit you knew all too well.

"I'm just trying to protect you," he finally mumbled.

You let out a short, frustrated laugh.

"Protect me from what? I'm a grown woman, not a child. I don't need you to protect me." The frustration was building up, and you could feel your voice getting louder as tears welled in your eyes. This whole back-and-forth was so draining.

"I want you! Why don't you get that?"

He let out a heavy sigh, sounding completely defeated. "God, y/n," he whispered, burying his face in his hands as if he could hide from the conversation.

You took a few deep breaths, trying to calm yourself down. Yelling wasn't going to solve anything.

"Look," you said, your voice much softer now. "Just be honest. With me, and with yourself. That's all I'm asking."

He slowly lowered his hands and looked at you. You were shocked to see his eyes were just as teary as yours. "You really want to know the truth?" he asked, his voice cracking.

"Yes," you said, giving a small nod.

He moved closer and gently cupped your face with his hands, his thumbs softly stroking your cheeks. He held your gaze for a long moment before he spoke. "...I would give my soul to have you like that, to have what we had again." His confession was barely a whisper, and that's all it took for your own tears to finally fall.

"Then don't push me away," you pleaded, looking up at him.

He hesitated and started to pull back, to put that wall up again. You couldn't let him. Acting on instinct, you grabbed the front of his shirt, pulled him in, and kissed him.

The kiss was honestly incredible. It was so deep and full of feeling that it was easy to just get completely lost in the moment with him. You could tell he was feeling the exact same way. For the longest time, you knew you were his biggest weakness. It was like he had this strong exterior, but you were the one thing that could make him vulnerable, his own personal kryptonite.

He had spent so much time and energy trying to run away from that feeling, trying to pretend it wasn't there. But it was pretty clear that he was done with all of that now. He was tired of fighting what he felt for you, and he was finally ready to just give in and let it happen. It was a huge relief, and it made the moment feel even more special and charged with emotion.

Without warning, his hands came up to grab your waist, his grip firm and sure. He pulled you in tightly against him, leaving absolutely no space between your bodies. In one swift and confident move, he pressed you back until you felt the cool, solid surface of the door against your back. He used this new closeness to his advantage, tilting his head just right to make the kiss even deeper and more intense. It honestly felt like he was stealing the very breath from your lungs.

You were completely breathless, your heart pounding in your chest like a drum.

But you weren't the only one. He was struggling for air just as much as you were. You could feel his shaky, short pants against your own mouth as he tried to catch his breath. Despite needing to breathe, he absolutely refused to break the kiss. There was no way he was going to pull his lips away from yours, not even for a second. At the same time, his hands started to move, roaming all over your body.

They were in your hair, on your back, and tracing the curve of your sides, as if he wanted to touch every single part of you all at once.

It wasn't long before he pushed his tongue gently into your mouth, softly licking against yours. The feeling sent a shiver right through you, and you couldn't stop the quiet moan that escaped your lips. The soft sound seemed to echo in the small space, and it was all the encouragement Jeonghan needed. In that instant, you felt him completely surrender to the moment, giving in to you and everything he felt. He was finally letting go of all his reservations.

He finally had to pull away, his lungs burning for air. He couldn't go a second longer without it. He leaned in and pressed his warm forehead against yours, and you both just stood there for a moment, completely breathless. The only sound in the quiet room was the sound of the two of you panting, trying to catch your breath after the intensity of the kiss. It felt like you had both run a marathon, and the shared heat between your foreheads was electric.

You could feel his heart hammering away in his chest, or maybe it was your own; it was hard to tell where one of you ended and the other began.

After a few shaky breaths, he spoke in a low, rough whisper. "We shouldn't be doing this," he breathed out.

He sounded torn, like one part of him truly meant it, but another part was desperately hoping you would ignore him. You didn’t even need to think about your response. You simply shook your head, a small but firm gesture that said you weren't stopping. Not now.

Instead of using words, you decided to answer with another action. You reached up, tangled your fingers in his hair, and pulled his mouth back to yours for another deep kiss. This one was even more demanding than the last, a kiss that left no room for doubt. As you kissed him, you lifted your leg, hooking it securely over his waist. You used that leverage to pull yourself in impossibly closer, pressing and grinding your hips against his.

The sudden, intimate movement made him pull back from the kiss almost instantly. His eyes, wide and hazy, immediately shot down to where your bodies were pressed so tightly together. A low, shaky groan rumbled in his chest and escaped his lips. He looked completely dazed, like the world was spinning too fast and he couldn't quite keep up. The kisses had already left him feeling fuzzy and light-headed, but this new development was on another level entirely.

"W-what are you doing?" he managed to stammer out, his voice thick and unsteady. He was having a hard time even forming the words, his brain clouded by the overwhelming sensations.

You looked him directly in the eye, your own gaze steady and filled with a confidence you could feel down to your bones. "Taking what's mine," you replied, your voice coming out as a low, sure murmur.

His eyes widened even more at your bold declaration. A quiet curse slipped from his lips, so soft you almost didn't hear it. You watched, transfixed, as his Adam's apple bobbed in his throat while he swallowed hard against the lump that had suddenly formed there. He was completely speechless, unable to do anything but stare at you, his breathing still ragged and uneven.

His silence was all the answer you needed.

You didn't stop moving. You kept pressing your body against his, your hips moving in a slow, steady rhythm that you knew was driving him absolutely crazy. The rough fabric of his jeans was a wonderful friction against you, and you could feel the heat building between the two of you with every single movement. He let out a shaky breath, the sound barely a whisper in the quiet room, and leaned forward until his forehead was resting gently against yours. You could feel the tension in his body, the way every muscle was coiled tight as he fought for control.

It was a delicious feeling, knowing you were the one making him lose his composure.

His eyes were closed, but you could practically see the battle he was having with himself. His voice was a low, rough growl when he finally spoke, the words vibrating from his chest and right into yours.

"If you don't stop right now," he warned, his breath warm against your skin.

"I won't be able to stop myself from taking you right against this door." The threat didn't scare you at all. In fact, it was exactly what you wanted to hear. A small, confident smile played on your lips. Instead of answering with words, you just shook your head slowly, a clear and simple 'no'. Then, you tangled your fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck and pulled his mouth back to yours for another deep, demanding kiss.

The kiss was even more intense this time, a silent conversation where you told him exactly what you needed from him. You broke away just enough to whisper, your lips brushing against his with every word.

"Stop talking," you breathed, your voice barely audible.

"Just do it." A soft, defeated groan escaped him, a sound of pure surrender that sent a thrill right through you. That was all the permission he needed. He shifted his weight, his hands leaving your waist to trail down your body. He bent down just a little, his strong hand easily finding the back of your other thigh and gripping it firmly. It was a silent promise of what was coming next.

In one smooth, effortless motion, he lifted you completely off the ground. You felt weightless for a second before he pressed your back firmly against the cool, hard wood of the door. The feeling was a shock to your system, the cold surface a stark contrast to the burning heat of his body against yours. You instinctively wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him in as close as you possibly could. He buried his face in the crook of your neck, his lips starting a slow, torturous trail down the sensitive skin.

He found that one perfect spot, just above your collarbone, and you couldn't hold back the soft moan that escaped your lips. Now you were the one losing control.

He pulled his head back just enough to look at you, his eyes dark with a powerful emotion you couldn't quite name.

"You're so addictive, baby," he said, his voice thick and husky. His words made a soft, happy laugh bubble up from your chest. You ran your free hand up through his thick hair, enjoying the feeling of the soft strands between your fingers. You gathered a handful in your fist, not hard enough to hurt, but just enough to show him that you were right there with him, feeling every single thing. Your gentle tug was all the guidance he needed.

He lowered his head, his focus shifting. You gasped as you felt the incredible warmth of his mouth right through your shirt, his tongue beginning to lick and tease your nipple through the thin layer of fabric. The sensation was electric, and you arched your back, pressing yourself even more impossibly against him.

"Baby, can we please go to the bed?" you asked, your voice coming out as a soft, breathy whine. You couldn't help but arch your back toward him, trying to get closer. His mouth was right on your chest, and you could feel the heat of his lips and the wetness of his tongue through the thin fabric of your shirt. The spot was already growing into a dark, damp circle from his attention, and the feeling was driving you absolutely wild. You were getting a little weak in the knees and knew you needed to lie down soon, preferably with him right on top of you.

It was getting hard to stay pressed against the door, and all you could think about was the big, soft bed that was just a few feet away from where you both were standing.

He didn't answer with words. Instead, a low, pleased hum rumbled in his chest, a sound you could feel as much as you could hear. He clearly liked your suggestion. Without any warning, he pulled away from your chest, scooped you up into his arms, and started walking. It happened so fast you let out a little gasp of surprise.

He carried you as if you weighed nothing at all, holding you securely against his strong chest.

You were only in his arms for a moment before he reached the large bed that sat right in the center of the bedroom. With a playful smirk, he gently tossed you onto the mattress. A happy little giggle escaped your throat as your body bounced on the soft, springy surface. The feeling was fun and made you laugh. You pushed yourself up with your elbows, wanting to sit up and face him, but you were too slow.

You only managed to catch a quick glimpse of his fit, lean body before he was on the bed with you, moving with incredible speed.

In one smooth and powerful motion, he flipped you over so that you were lying on your stomach. Before you could even ask what he was doing, you felt a firm, stinging slap on your rear. It wasn't painful, but the sound echoed slightly in the quiet room, and the sensation sent a jolt of surprising heat straight through you. It definitely caught you off guard and made your breath hitch in your throat.

"Get up there," he commanded. His voice was deep and had a rough, scratchy edge to it that sent a whole new wave of shivers all over your skin. There was no room for argument in his tone; it was a clear and direct order.

You didn't need him to tell you a second time. You immediately did as he said, scrambling forward on your hands and knees. You quickly crawled further up the mattress, heading towards the pillows and the headboard, your heart starting to beat a little faster with anticipation. As you moved, you could hear the distinct sound of his clothes being hastily discarded behind you—the rustle of a shirt being pulled off, the soft thud of pants hitting the floor.

He was right behind you just a second later. The mattress dipped under his weight as he settled in behind you. Then, you felt his warm, strong hands grab your hips. He pulled you back against him firmly, pressing your butt right up against his lower body. He was completely naked now, and the feeling of his warm skin against yours was electric.

There was absolutely no doubt about how much he wanted you; he let you feel the hard proof of his excitement pressed intimately against you, a silent message that told you exactly how much you had turned him on.

He leaned in so close you could feel the warmth of his breath against your skin. The air felt thick with a new kind of energy, something intense and exciting that hadn't been there just a moment ago. His voice was barely a sound, a low rumble right next to your ear that sent a shiver straight down your spine. "That's how much I want you," he whispered.

Before you could even process the words, you felt the wet, warm slide of his tongue against your earlobe. The sensation was so unexpected, so shockingly intimate, that a small gasp escaped your lips. It wasn't just a kiss; it was a promise of something more, something wilder. In that one simple, bold move, it became crystal clear that you had stirred something deep inside of him. It felt like you had poked a sleeping animal, and now, a powerful beast was starting to wake up, its eyes focused completely on you.

The thought was both thrilling and a little bit terrifying.

He pulled back just enough to look you in the eyes, and the intensity you saw there nearly took your breath away. "I will always want you," he said, his voice a little rougher this time, full of a feeling you couldn't quite name.

"Every part of you." As he spoke, his hands began to move. They slid gently under the hem of your shirt, his palms warm against the bare skin of your breasts. You felt yourself being pulled flush against the solid wall of his chest, until you could feel the steady, strong beat of his heart against your shoulder blades. His fingers were amazingly deft as they explored, teasing the sensitive skin. They moved upward, toying with the fabric of your bra for a moment before finding their way to your nipples, which instantly hardened at his touch.

His hands cupped your breasts, holding them with a possessiveness that made you feel completely owned by him in the best possible way.

Your mind was swimming in sensation, but one thought rose above the rest: he needed to know. He needed to know that this wasn't one-sided, that he was having the exact same effect on you. Words felt totally inadequate for what you were feeling. Action was the only thing that made sense. You reached down and grabbed his wrist, your grip firm and sure.

For a second, you just held his hand there, letting him feel your own pulse racing. Then, you began to guide his hand downward, away from your chest. You moved his hand over your stomach and down to the waistband of your pants. Without a hint of hesitation, you pushed his hand inside, pressing his palm against you. You wanted him to feel the proof of your desire, to show him just how much his touch had affected you, how wet you had become just for him.

A low, guttural sound rumbled in his chest, a clear sign that he understood your message perfectly. He leaned in again, his lips finding the curve of your neck and shoulder.

"That's how much I want you," you speak, your voice soft with emotion now. His tongue traced lazy, wet patterns all over your skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake. While his mouth was busy exploring your neck, his other hand was working with a new urgency. You felt him hook a finger into the side of your panties, pulling the fabric easily to the side. And then, his fingers were there, sliding through the slick, puffy folds of your most sensitive spot.

The feeling was electric, a jolt of pure pleasure that made your knees feel weak. He was showing you exactly what he wanted, and you knew this was only the beginning.

The words feel like they’re being pulled from your lungs, leaving you with barely enough air to speak.

“Baby, I need you,” you manage to get out, your voice sounding thin and a little desperate even to your own ears. You’re completely out of breath, and the feeling of anticipation is making your heart pound a frantic rhythm against your ribs. He doesn’t answer you with words. Instead, a deep, soft hum rumbles in his chest, a vibration that you feel pressed against your back. It’s a sound of pure contentment and agreement, his nonverbal way of telling you that he feels the exact same way.

That sound is all the confirmation you need.

As he hums that low note, his body begins to move against yours. He starts to grind his hips into you, a slow, deliberate motion that is anything but rushed. The pressure is firm and promising, a steady rhythm that makes a wave of heat pool low in your belly. It’s an undeniable, physical statement of how much he wants you in this moment. While his lower body is creating this incredible friction, he focuses his attention on your back.

You feel the sudden, wet heat of his tongue as he starts to trace a lazy path all over your skin. He starts at the small of your back, slowly and methodically licking his way up your spine, vertebra by vertebra. A full-body shiver wracks your frame, and goosebumps erupt all over your arms. He doesn’t stop there, continuing the slow torture up to the sensitive nape of your neck. He swirls his tongue in the soft spot just below your hairline, and you have to bite your lip to keep from crying out.

His hands, which had been resting on your waist, move with a new purpose. He finds the hem of your shirt, his fingers bunching the soft cotton material in his fists. For a brief second, his knuckles graze against the bare skin of your stomach, and the small, accidental touch feels like an electric shock. In one smooth, efficient motion, he pulls the shirt up and over your head, not even giving you a chance to help. The world goes dark and muffled for a second, and then the fabric is gone.

He tosses it somewhere behind him without looking, the soft thud of it landing on the floor barely registering. The cool air of the room hits your exposed skin, making your nipples harden instantly. His attention is immediately on your bra next. His fingers find the clasp on your back with an practiced ease, and with a simple click, the straps go slack. He pulls it away from your body and discards it just as carelessly as he did your shirt, his focus entirely and completely on you.

His voice is low and husky when he speaks, a simple command that sends another jolt of excitement straight through you.

“Stand up,” he instructs, his tone leaving no room for argument. And of course, you obey him without a single thought of hesitation. You just want to do whatever he tells you to. As you start to move, your legs feel a little shaky, a little weak. He must sense it, because his large, warm hands immediately grip your thighs, his fingers pressing into your skin to steady you.

The feeling of his strong hands holding you is incredibly grounding and safe. With his support, you slowly turn around in his arms until you’re facing him. You instinctively reach out and grab onto his broad shoulders, your fingers digging into his muscles for balance.

Now that you're standing and facing him, his hands are free to move again. His fingers are so quick and nimble as they go right for the button of your jeans. You hear the small pop as it comes undone, followed by the distinct, rough sound of the zipper being pulled down. He doesn't waste a single moment, hooking his thumbs into the waistband and starting to push the thick, heavy denim down your hips and legs. The material feels rough against your sensitive skin.

As you lift one foot and then the other to step out of your jeans, he can’t seem to help himself. He leans down, his face close to your stomach, and a sudden, hot, wet lick darts out to taste your skin right above your navel. The unexpected sensation makes you jump slightly, a gasp catching in your throat. It was an impulsive, greedy little taste, as if he just couldn't resist.

With your jeans now in a pile around your ankles, there’s so much less between the two of you. He keeps you pressed firmly against his body, his strong frame ensuring you won't lose your balance or fall. It feels like he’s caging you in with his own body, and you have absolutely no desire to escape. His hands, no longer busy with your clothes, begin to roam. They slide from your waist, over the curve of your hips, and come to rest on your ass.

He squeezes you gently at first, and then his hands start to fondle and knead the flesh with a firm, possessive pressure. You let out another soft gasp, your head falling back a little. The combination of everything is almost too much to handle: the lingering feeling of his warm tongue on your stomach, the incredible strength in his big hands as they massage you, the heat coming off his body. It’s all-consuming.

You’re completely overwhelmed, your senses on fire. You feel the desperate need for some kind of release, some focus for this incredible building tension.

"Please do something-" you start to beg, your voice shaky and pleading. You don’t even know what you’re asking for, just that you need him to take control, to do *something* more. But you never get to finish your sentence. Your plea is cut off by your own sharp, surprised gasp. The breath is stolen right from your lungs as you feel his fingers slide down, moving between your ass cheeks.

He doesn’t hesitate, pressing his hand firmly against you, rubbing your most sensitive spot right through the thin, damp fabric of your underwear. The pressure is perfect, and the unexpected friction makes your knees go weak all over again.

"Oh my god," you say as your legs start to feel weak again, and you have to lean on him for support. You tremble in his arms as he pushes your panties aside with one hand. With his other hand, he touches you and feels how wet you are.

"Oh, fuck," you moan quietly, gripping his shoulders. In response, he slides two fingers inside you, making you gasp. Your whole body shakes as he begins to move his fingers in and out, watching your face the whole time.

"Come on my fingers, baby," he says. The closer you get to finishing, the more your body sinks down onto the bed. He doesn't stop, keeping his fingers moving inside of you.

You fall completely onto the bed as you come all over his hand. You bury your face in his chest, your fingers digging into his hips.

He lets you catch your breath before gently rolling you onto your back. He pulls his hand away, which is soaked with you, and you watch as he licks it clean.

“You taste so good, baby… but I need more straight from the source,” he murmurs before lowering his head between your thighs, his tongue sliding slowly through your folds before drawing them into his mouth.

A startled squeak leaves you as you prop yourself up on your elbows to watch him. He spreads your legs wider, returning to your slick heat with another deliberate lick.

His fingers part your lips, holding you open while he drags his tongue lazily over you, savoring you, humming softly as he gathers your wetness before closing his mouth around your clit.

Your back arches at the sensation, your hips rolling instinctively against his mouth. His gaze flicks up to meet yours, noticing how blown and dark your eyes have become.

“I’m gonna cum,” you warn breathlessly. He taps your hip in acknowledgment. You nod and grind harder against him, moaning louder as the pressure builds, your fingers threading into his hair while he devours you with growing hunger.

You lean back against the bed, arching your spine as you roll your hips, grinding yourself against his mouth. His hands clamp firmly around your hips, guiding and matching your rhythm as best he can until pleasure crests and you come, his grip tightening while he keeps you pressed to his tongue.

He doesn’t let up, holding you steady while he works you through the aftershocks, licking you slowly until your body softens and you gently push at his hand. Only then does he pull away, lips leaving your skin.

“T-that’s a first.”

You draw him in for a kiss, welcoming his mouth against yours. He chuckles softly at your words, his tongue sliding past your lips so you can taste yourself, and you eagerly suck on it.

“There’s a lot I haven’t done to you yet.”

His lips roam everywhere, and you don’t protest—your hands clutch his back, nails dragging lightly down his spine.

“So you’ve been holding back.”

He shivers beneath your touch while you smile at the reaction you pull from him.

“No… maybe I didn’t want to scare you off,” he murmurs, trailing kisses along your neck, sucking marks into your skin and leaving a path of hickeys behind.

“Nothing you say or do could scare me off.”

You gasp, gripping his shoulders as his hands move to your chest, fondling you, thumbs rolling over your nipples.

“I can see that now. You’re so stubborn.”

He laughs quietly while you shift beneath him, biting your bottom lip.

“You’re just as stubborn—I literally had to—”

He cuts you off before you can finish, wrapping a hand around himself and guiding his tip to your entrance before pushing in with one firm thrust.

“What was that?”

He smirks at the loud gasp you let out when he fills you mid-sentence.

“Asshole,” you whimper, legs wrapping around his waist. You’re already a mess around him as he settles into a steady pace, and you moan at the sudden stretch.

“You love this—you love it, and you love me.”

“Yes—fuck, yes, I do,” you moan as his hands clamp around your hips, driving into you harder. Your chest jolts with every thrust, your back bowing as cries spill from your lips.

“Holy shit,” he pants.

You reach for him, and he folds over you, pressing his forehead to yours.

“Fuck… I’m close, baby,” you whisper, and he snaps his hips harder, pulling another cry from you as your spine arches off the bed.

“You gonna cum on my dick, baby?” he asks.

You nod quickly, clinging to whatever you can reach. “Yes—please. I need it.” Your fingers slide through his hair again as you squirm beneath him.

“Be still.” His hand circles your throat as he thrusts deeper, rougher. Your mouth falls open at the sensation, and he leans down to lick at your tongue.

“Wait for me, baby—need to cum with you,” he breathes, just as wrecked and breathless as you. Your hands cradle his face, pulling his gaze back to you.

“You’re not leaving me. You’re mine,” you murmur.

He nods, body trembling as he nears the edge. “Yes… baby, please,” he whines before crashing his lips to yours, tongues sliding together in slow, messy kisses.

“You’re mine. God help me—I don’t care what we call it… you’re mine.” He pants the words against your mouth, thrusting faster into your oversensitive body as your back arches and pleasure tears through you.

He gasps when you clamp down around him, burying his face in your neck as he pounds into you a few more times before spilling inside you.

“Mine,” he mumbles against your skin.

Your eyes fall shut, completely spent beneath the man who stole both your heart and your body.

[lexi52291]

His little secret

Age gap Jeonghan Imagine

Older!Jeonghan x younger!female reader

wc: 850

warnings: sfw section is fluffy & cute; nsfw section is 18+ mdni, age-gap dynamics (he’s older), soft dom jeonghan, teasing, praise, light degradation, oral mentions, unprotected sex implied (wrap it irl), aftercare, possessiveness, dacryphilia vibes, dirty talk—proceed with caution if sensitive to age-gap themes

hey lovies~ 💕 been obsessed with this idea of jeonghan as the teasing older bf who’s equal parts sweet and sinful. i tried incorporating his real personality! Enjoy, and lmk if you want more svt content! Or any other idols! reblogs appreciated ♡

Here’s the Seungcheol Version!!

Here’s the Mingyu Version!!

SFW

He loves calling you “baby” or “jagiya” in that soft, lilting voice, but throws in “Y/N-ah” when he’s being extra affectionate or gently scolding you for something silly. “Y/N-ah, you forgot your scarf again? Come here, I’ll will tie it for you.” He does it with a little smirk, but his eyes are all warmth.

Teasing is his love language—he’ll “accidentally” hide your phone or keys just to watch you search, then reveal them with a grin. “Looking for something? Maybe if you give me a kiss, I’ll remember where I saw it.” But he always follows up with a gentle hug, whispering, “You’re too cute when you’re frustrated.”

He’s the one who plans quiet, thoughtful dates like picnics or stargazing, where he lays out a blanket and pulls you into his lap. “Look up there—that’s our star,” he says softly, pointing randomly, then laughs when you call him out. His arm stays around you the whole time, thumb rubbing your shoulder like it’s second nature.

Protective in subtle ways: If you’re out and someone stares too long, he slips his hand into yours or drapes an arm over your shoulders, leaning in to murmur, “Ignore them, baby. I got you.” It’s casual, but his grip tightens just enough to make you feel secure.

He remembers the little things—your favorite tea, how you like your coffee, or that you get sleepy after 10 PM. Mornings start with him bringing you breakfast in bed, sitting beside you with messy hair. “Eat up, jagiya. Can’t have my girl starting the day hungry.” He feeds you bites while stealing half your toast.

Playful pranks turn into sweet moments: He’ll start a pillow fight out of nowhere, letting you “win” by pinning him down, then flips you gently and kisses your forehead. “You’re getting stronger… or maybe I’m just going easy because you’re adorable.

Late-night talks where he opens up more—he strokes your hair while you lay on his chest, sharing stories from his “older and wiser” days. “You make me feel young again, you know that?” he says quietly, then pokes your nose to lighten the mood. “But don’t tell anyone; I have a reputation.”

He spoils you with small gifts—a cute keychain, your favorite snacks—always with a note like “For my favorite troublemaker. Love, Hannie.” If you’re stressed, he pulls you into a back hug, chin on your shoulder. “Breathe, baby. We’ll handle it together.”

NSFW

He’s a soft dom with a teasing edge—loves taking his time to build you up, whispering filthy things in that angelic voice. “Look at my baby, so needy for me already. Be patient; I’ll give you what you want.”

Huge on foreplay—he’ll pin your hands above your head with one of his, kissing down your body slowly, marking your neck and collarbones. “These are mine,” he murmurs, sucking lightly. “No one else gets to see how pretty you look like this.”

Voice play is his thing—low, breathy commands like “Tell daddy how good it feels” while his fingers work you open, curling just right. He watches your face intently, adjusting based on every whimper. “That’s my good girl… falling apart so easily for me.”

Size and age gap fuel his dominance—he loves how small you feel under him, lifting you effortlessly onto his lap or against the wall. “Feel how deep I can go? You were made for this, weren’t you, baby?”

Teasing to the max: Edges you with his mouth or fingers until you’re begging, then pulls back with a smirk. “Not yet, jagiya. Beg a little more—you know I love hearing you whine.”

When he finally thrusts in, it’s slow and deep at first, letting you adjust, but then he picks up pace—hips snapping with precision. “Take it all for me. Such a tight little thing… but you love it, don’t you?”

Praise mixed with light degradation: “You’re so innocent, crying on daddy’s cock like this. But you’re mine now—my perfect, dirty girl.” He always checks in, softening if needed: “Color, sweetheart? Still good?”

Aftercare master—cleans you up with warm cloths, pulls you into his chest, kisses every tear away. “You were amazing for me, sweet girl. Rest now; I’ve got you.” Strokes your hair until you sleep, whispering how much he adores you.

he’s the perfect mix of a playful lover and attentive lover—keeps things light but knows exactly when to turn up the heat. if you liked this, drop a like or comment! who should i do next? I do take requests!!😘