This is an excellent writing advice from Chuck Palahniuk. This was first seen on tumblr. Unfortunately, when I clicked on the link, it no longer existed.
But, I still think itâs worth sharing.
writingadvice: by Chuck Palahniuk
In six seconds, youâll hate me.
But in six months, youâll be a better writer.
From this point forwardâat least for the next half yearâyou may not
use âthoughtâ verbs. These include: Thinks, Knows, Understands,
Realizes, Believes, Wants, Remembers, Imagines, Desires, and a hundred
others you love to use.
The list should also include: Loves and Hates.
And it should include: Is and Has, but weâll get to those later.
Until some time around Christmas, you canât write: Kenny wondered if Monica didnât like him going out at nightâŚâ
Instead, youâll have to Un-pack that to something like: âThe
mornings after Kenny had stayed out, beyond the last bus, until heâd
had to bum a ride or pay for a cab and got home to find Monica faking
sleep, faking because she never slept that quiet, those mornings, sheâd
only put her own cup of coffee in the microwave. Never his.â
Instead of characters knowing anything, you must now present
the details that allow the reader to know them. Instead of a character
wanting something, you must now describe the thing so that the reader
wants it.
Instead of saying: âAdam knew Gwen liked him.â Youâll have
to say: âBetween classes, Gwen had always leaned on his locker when heâd
go to open it. Sheâs roll her eyes and shove off with one foot,
leaving a black-heel mark on the painted metal, but she also left the
smell of her perfume. The combination lock would still be warm from her
butt. And the next break, Gwen would be leaned there, again.â
In short, no more short-cuts. Only specific sensory detail: action, smell, taste, sound, and feeling.
Typically,
writers use these âthoughtâ verbs at the beginning of a paragraph (In
this form, you can call them âThesis Statementsâ and Iâll rail against
those, later). In a way, they state the intention of the paragraph. And
what follows, illustrates them.
For example:
âBrenda knew sheâd never make the deadline. Traffic
was backed up from the bridge, past the first eight or nine exits. Her
cell phone battery was dead. At home, the dogs would need to go out, or
there would be a mess to clean up. Plus, sheâd promised to water the
plants for her neighborâŚâ
Do you see how the opening âthesis statementâ steals the thunder of what follows? Donât do it.
If nothing else, cut the opening sentence and place it after all the others. Better yet, transplant it and change it to: Brenda would never make the deadline.
Thinking is abstract. Knowing and believing are intangible. Your
story will always be stronger if you just show the physical actions
and details of your characters and allow your reader to do the thinking
and knowing. And loving and hating.
Donât tell your reader: âLisa hated Tom.â
Instead, make your case like a lawyer in court, detail by detail.
Present each piece of evidence. For example:
âDuring roll call,
in the breath after the teacher said Tomâs name, in that moment before
he could answer, right then, Lisa would whisper-shout âButt Wipe,â just
as Tom was saying, âHereâ.â
One of the most-common mistakes that beginning writers make is leaving their characters alone. Writing,
you may be alone. Reading, your audience may be alone. But your
character should spend very, very little time alone. Because a solitary
character starts thinking or worrying or wondering.
For example: Waiting for the bus, Mark started to worry about how long the trip would takeâŚâ
A better break-down might be: âThe schedule said the bus would come
by at noon, but Markâs watch said it was already 11:57. You could see
all the way down the road, as far as the Mall, and not see a bus. No
doubt, the driver was parked at the turn-around, the far end of the
line, taking a nap. The driver was kicked back, asleep, and Mark was
going to be late. Or worse, the driver was drinking, and heâd pull up
drunk and charge Mark seventy-five cents for death in a fiery traffic
accidentâŚâ
A character alone must lapse into fantasy or memory, but even then
you canât use âthoughtâ verbs or any of their abstract relatives.
Oh, and you can just forget about using the verbs forget and remember.
No more transitions such as: âWanda remembered how Nelson used to brush her hair.â
Instead: âBack in their sophomore year, Nelson used to brush her hair with smooth, long strokes of his hand.â
Again, Un-pack. Donât take short-cuts.
Better yet, get your character with another character, fast.
Get them together and get the action started. Let their actions and
words show their thoughts. Youâstay out of their heads.
And while youâre avoiding âthoughtâ verbs, be very wary about using the bland verbs âisâ and âhave.â
For example:
âAnnâs eyes are blue.â
âAnn has blue eyes.â
Versus:
âAnn coughed and waved one hand past her face, clearing the cigarette smoke from her eyes, blue eyes, before she smiledâŚâ
Instead of bland âisâ and âhasâ statements, try burying your details
of what a character has or is, in actions or gestures. At its most
basic, this is showing your story instead of telling it.
And forever after, once youâve learned to Un-pack your characters,
youâll hate the lazy writer who settles for: âJim sat beside the
telephone, wondering why Amanda didnât call.â
Please. For now, hate me all you want, but donât use thought verbs. After Christmas, go crazy, but Iâd bet money you wonât.
(âŚ)
For this monthâs homework, pick through your writing and circle every âthoughtâ verb. Then, find some way to eliminate it. Kill it by Un-packing it.
Then, pick through some published fiction and do the same thing. Be ruthless.
âMarty imagined fish, jumping in the moonlightâŚâ
âNancy recalled the way the wine tastedâŚâ
âLarry knew he was a dead manâŚâ
Find them. After that, find a way to re-write them. Make them stronger.
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