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Who's going to help me lose my mind?

[nobrashfestivity]

Frank Stella

© Frank Stella. ARS, NY and DACS/Artimage, London 2018                

more

[nobrashfestivity]

Thomas Sills, Summer, 1952. 

Oil on canvas, 44 × 43 in. Museum purchase, Otis Family Acquisition Trust

[nobrashfestivity]

Džemail Silajdžić

[nobrashfestivity]

Kamisaka Sekka  From 1000 Butterflies, “Chō senshu”, 1903

restored prints

[nebulonictectonics]

I feel like I get more dangerous every day.

[chris-evans]

We don’t have a home. It was burned. Grave of the Fireflies (Hotaru No Haka) 1988, dir. Isao Takahata

[nebulonictectonics]

They were right about me, I run away from everything

[nebulonictectonics]

People really just drop in and out of your life with no warning. It’s not their fault, that’s just how life goes, but how do you know when they’re gone for good? I’m tired of all the names in my phone, I’m tired of all the people that I no longer know, I’m tired of everything lacking closure and finality. I don’t like loose ends or the possibility of someone who hasn’t given two fucks about me in years just popping up and thinking we’re still friends just because they knew me before.

[nebulonictectonics]

It’s pretty obvious now that I am still upset about how things happened with Sam and that’s okay. I’ll just yknow never put myself out there again

[damostnotdalessa]

passionately kissing in the dark in total silence is a fucking mood

[nebulonictectonics]

Thanks for reminding me that he’s GONE

[nebulonictectonics]

Feeling particularly empty tonight

[nebulonictectonics]

I’m nowhere near ready to love but I’m working on it.

[dazeylo]

[d3monicas]

anyone else feel like god is just toying with u however he pleases . he thinks hes so funny . well im about to be hilarious

[spravato]

me about to commit blasphemy

[shwagerr]

[nebulonictectonics]

Deadline

I'm really not the type to talk about myself on the internet or at all really but I figured I might as well say this to someone before I do anything that I can't take back. Basically I've wanted to kill myself for a very long time (attempted twice age 14 and age 18) but I've found ways to postpone it for a while now (2015-present); first it was college, then it was a spontaneous extended trip, then it was my younger sister and school again, and this year it was Austin City Limits. Well right before ACL things started getting bad again, I got into a big fight with my older sister which resulted in a pending felony charge (court date is coming up) losing half of my belongings and the $2000 I put into our place together, and moving in with my mother and younger sister. I still went to ACL and had a great time but I came back to my mess of a life. I'm more in debt than I've ever been, my younger sister doesn't want me around anymore (which really sucks considering she's the ONLY person that I live for) and I don't really have friends anymore. I'm broke and I haven't made any progress in life since I graduated HS. I can go through the motions just fine but I can't lie to myself, I'm the reason for 90% of my problems right now and I have done terrible things, I'm not an important part of anyone's life, and I really just don't care anymore. I've lost the energy to fight and a fighting is all I have to look forward to. I have nobody to confide in, I have nobody to rely on, and I don't have any resources to help me here. I've had my suicide planned for a while now, writing this I realize that I just can't find a good reason to go on but I would like to hear someone try to talk me off the ledge just once even if it doesn't work out.

[nebulonictectonics]

I know it's not okay to know, beyond all doubt, that I will be the reason I die but I don't lie to myself. Maybe that's why.