imagine cloth mother and wire mother in family court competing for custody of the baby monkey
I Have Softness For You
i have milk for you
Stop.
Cut the baby monkey in half

shark vs the universe
taylor price
Cosimo Galluzzi

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
ojovivo

tannertan36
d e v o n

roma★
Today's Document
YOU ARE THE REASON
Sweet Seals For You, Always

bliss lane
Cookie Run:Kingdom Official!

izzy's playlists!
tumblr dot com
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oozey mess
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
sheepfilms

if i look back, i am lost
seen from Ghana

seen from Germany

seen from France
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from Italy

seen from United States
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seen from Bangladesh
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seen from Iraq
seen from India

seen from United States
seen from France
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seen from United States
seen from Bangladesh
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seen from Venezuela
@necromancy-and-peaches
imagine cloth mother and wire mother in family court competing for custody of the baby monkey
I Have Softness For You
i have milk for you
Stop.
Cut the baby monkey in half
YOU hates terfs
rb if u hates terfs
Official ‘terfs get out of my house’ Post
They say to eat wholesomly, journal and engage in hobbies, but when I, Renfield...
I love that the internet saw people comparing women and other alienated groups of people and went, “they’re dating,” and, “they support each other.” We’re improving as a society.
Does anyone know who these artists are?? They’re brilliant and I’d like to credit them!!
THIS IS HOW TO TAKE A TRASH OPINION COMIC AND MAKE IT BETTER. THANK YOU.
The best genre to ever have existed
These improved my day
GAY RIGHTS
these are the only things in the world i find worth crying for becayse it’s so fcking cute and wholesome wtf
I WOULD LIKE TO ANNOUNCE THAT THE OG ARTIST GREW OUT OF THEIR I’M NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS PHASE
AND NOW THE GIRLS ARE CANON
The “guys I respect” artist also came out as non-binary, generally got more accepting. It’s growth.
I follow the artist for the book club art! @nomsikka on instagram :)
FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT you are allowed to feel proud of yourself for things that might seem silly to other people, like getting better at a video game or putting together a nice outfit for the next morning or finishing a book. You deserve to feel proud for your accomplishment.
i actually keep a box of treats that I’m only allowed to take when I feel proud about something. hack: if I really want a treat, I need to figure out something to be proud about. i love this system.
no rest for me and im not even that wicked ?
hobbies should not take up this much space. there ought to be a hobby pocket dimension, where I am able to store everything I need in a breadbox that weighs no more than my cat.
All gays will go to hellsite
What if in hellsite but not gay
NO!
String identified: A ga g t t at t t t ga T tag g a Ag agag Acctac ! T tag g a Ag agag Acctac
Closest match: Psylliodes chrysocephala genome assembly, chromosome: 4 Common name: Cabbage Stem Flea Beetle
(image source)
This is how the golden age of piracy ended.
The first mermaid to get tattoos :)
“we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?”
“kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes.
“we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.”
“i know.”
x
“daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.”
her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her.
“daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor.
“don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing.
x
“father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?”
“your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.”
she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says.
x
“why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam.
“we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.”
she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family.
“it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.”
x
her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.”
the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass.
“why not?” the mermaid asks.
“he’ll win,” the first mate says.
the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks.
x
the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her.
“don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.”
x
the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape.
“let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.”
they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her.
she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings.
the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone.
x
she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea.
x
“you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her.
she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise.
“i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.”
the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time.
“we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either.
“i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time.
“guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.”
“without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?”
“i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?”
“of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.”
x
the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid.
“you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock.
the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy.
“they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.”
“and now?”
“they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?”
the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.”
She protects her family.
this website’s easy watch. *dangles a bunch of greek gods like keys*
i know what i’m doing dw
Keep in mind I only know like. Two Greek gods by name. Homer is one of them, and he was good friends with Odysseus I think?
Wait fuck Homer isn’t a god he wrote the fucking thing. Fuck
POST CANCELLED NO ONE LOOK
desperately google searching for “greek gods to pray to when people notice your online idiocy”
You're failing.
You don’t think I know that, God of Death? Can I pray to you so I can DIE ALREADY
Pluto is Roman, not Greek
?????
Short version is that Pluto is a later name for the god of death, which is often associated with the Roman era/Roman mythology. Hades is the earlier name.
I set up my own house made of sticks and it has promptly fallen on me
HE’S NOT EVEN REAL?????*
I made this post thinking I knew what kind of fire I was playing with. Hephaestus, God of Fire, looking upon me from his fuck off tower or whatever said “Oh you think you know? Check this shit” and promptly set my post ablaze for everyone to observe
Hephaestus doesn't have a tower, he lived in a volcano
FINE THEN. BIG FUCK OFF VOLCANO. WHATEVER
wrong.
Achievement Unlocked:
Lightning Bait
You're basically doing the post equivalent of standing out in a field during a storm with a ten-foot copper pole, you better hope Zeus is busy hiding from Hera.
FUCK'S SAKE NOT AGAIN
I need you to name every greek God you know and what they are for plz
For science
OKAY FINE HERE'S WHAT I'VE FOUND
HERMES: DA FUNNY ONE
ZEUS: DA LIGHTNING (NOTE: THOUGHT HE WAS NORDIC, FATHER OF THOR)
POSEIDON: DA SEA ONE
HEPHAESTUS: DA FIRE/FORGING/STEEL ONE
APHRODITE: DA HOT ONE
KRATOS: GOD OF WAR
HADES: DA HELL ONE. ROGUE LIKE
APOLLO: DA DODGEBALL/PROPHECY ONE
ares is the god of war, not kratos
WHY THE FUCK DOES THE GAME CALL HIM GOD OF WAR THEN
I can't believe this post is less than 24 hours old, it feels like something out of classic tumblr lore
op god of war is not official greek mythology lmao
Someone needs to read a Percy Jackson book
hey is this still post of the year or
how's the hole op? want some snacks? a blanket? a shovel to dig yourself out?
I'D LIKE OUT NOW I THINK
And the post of the year goes to.....
YOU
here is me holding my trophy for tumblr post of the year. i'd like to thank no one in particular but i would like to unthank everyone who decided this one in particular was post of the year. i will never let this down ever
I remember this post dropping, what a great day. OP I hope you know this was the highlight of my week when it dropped, it was so good.
context (via @mellorocket)
doubly funny that I saw a compilation of all the corporate accounts like "aw thanks elmo, we're doing well" meanwhile all the flesh and blood real human people are extremely not okay
Okay but Elmo had actually the best and sweetest response to all this trauma dumping:
And then all the other Sesame Street character accounts joined in:
And now I’m thinking maybe we’re gonna be okay… 💗
(Comment compilation from this Twitter)
I kinda feel for the poor person running Elmo's Twitter.
"So, boss... I may have messed up."
"What did you do, Ray?"
"Well, I made a post for Elmo saying 'Hi, how's everybody doing?'"
"I mean, that's kind of what we pay you for."
"Yeah, but.... <sigh> it turns out pretty much everyone is hanging on by a thread, badly enough that they needed to tell Elmo."
"Oh."
"God help me, boss, I think Elmo needs to be there for them."
"Get the others."
this is the energy that jim henson would be proud of.
and important addition
Source: instagram
Always reblog this. Elmo and his friends will be there in your times of trial and doubt, to help you through your torment
Elmo shall drag us from the fire
Elmo is good red hairy small person
“What’s the most impressive and stressful thing you’ve seen?”
Me:
Source
That looks SO dangerous but I am SO impressed and UTTERLY charmed and FULL of childlike wonder
I remember when Tumblr was like THE fandom place for all my interests (10ish years ago?) but now i have the tumblr fandoms and the twitter fandoms and every time i think of searching on Tumblr for a thing that i consider "twitter fandom" it feels wrong 😬
I work cybersecurity, this is like half my job.
the whole vaccine deal tbh
antidepressants
Yes these are all the work of wizards
Fighting with my ADHD brain to get things done like it’s a moody cat or toddler
This is so fucking embarrassing. This is one of the most embarrassing business quips I have ever seen in my entire vile career.
coat bath
tag yourselves i'm the GREAT ROOM beside the GOURMET KITCHEN
i remade it in the sims 4
strangely inspirational