Needyboy & Bruce

ATTEMPTING TO OVERCOME LITTLE DIFFICULTIES IN ORDER TO MAKE A PLACE FOR OURSELVES IN THE WORLD. AND TRYING TO STOP DR. CLANCY FROM BEING STRUCK OFF.

[needyandbruce-blog]

iN mY oLD tOWN, tHE eLECTION oF a nEW mAYOR wAS a pERIOD oF aLMOST uNBEARABLE eXCITEMENT. fIRST oF aLL tHE vILLAGE eLDERS wERE lOCKED iNTO tHE tOWN hALL wITH oNLY tHE vILLAGE bAND fOR eNTERTAINMENT aND nOT lET oUT uNTIL tHEY hAD cHOSEN tHE mAYOR, wHO cOULD bE aNYONE wHO hAD nOT bEEN iN tHE sTOCKS wITHIN tHE lAST mONTH. wHEN aT lAST tHE mAYOR hAD bEEN cHOSEN, tHE eLDERS wOULD eMERGE iN a gREAT pLUME oF wHITE sMOKE fROM tHE rARE hERBS tHE vILLAGE bAND uSED fOR tHEIR iNSPIRATION aND a gREAT pARTY wOULD cOMMENCE. uNFORTUNATELY, oFTENTIMES, bY tHE tIME tHE pARTY hAD eNDED tHE eLDERS wOULD hAVE fORGOTTEN wHO tHEY hAD eLECTED aND tHE wHOLE pROCESS wOULD hAVE tO bEGIN aGAIN.

[needyandbruce-blog]

bRUCE nEEDS tWO sETS oF cRAMPONS fOR tHIS wEATHER

[needyandbruce-blog]

tHE mEAT pRODUCTS fACTORY

mORE bAD nEWS fROM hOME, tHE mEAT pRODUCTS fACORY tHAT pROVIDED aBOUT A qUARTER oF tHE vILLAGES jOBS jUST lOST iT'S bIGGEST cONTRACT. tHE fINGERS aRE bEING pOINTED sQUARELY aT tHE vILLAGE sCHOOLMASTER. hE cLAIMS tHE sCHOOL wAS sO bADLY fUNDED hE hAD tO rEUSE tHE pICTURE oF tHE hORSE tHAT wAS uSED tO iLLUSTRATE tHE lETTER "H" tO aLSO iLLUSTRATE tHE "C" fOR cOW.

[needyandbruce-blog]

Lance Atmstrong visits our village

yEARS aGO lANCE aRMSTRONG cYCLED iNTO oUR vILLAGE aND iT wAS aN oCCASION oF gREAT cELEBRATION. hE wAS gREETED bY tHE mAYOR aND oFFICIALLY oPENED tHE fINE nEW sTOCKS iN tHE vILLAGE sQUARE.  mONTHS lATER wHEN tHE mAYOR hAD tO bE fORCEABLY rEMOVED fROM oFFICE oN aCCOUNT oF hIS iNCREASINGLY fREQUENT rAGES, iT tOOK aLL sEVEN pOLICE mEN tHREE hOURS tO gET hIM iNTO tHE sTOCKS.  nOBODY kNOWS hOW hE dEVELOPED sUCH sTRENGTH aND iT rEMAINS a mYSTERY tO tHIS dAY.

[needyandbruce-blog]

hAPPY nEW yEAR eVERYONE. wHERE i cOME fROM iT wAS tRADITIONAL fOR aLL tHE mENFOLK tO wEAR tHE dRESSES oF tHE wOMENFOLK fOR nEW yEARS. tHIS wENT oN uNTIL cHANNEL 4 aTTEMPTED tO mAKE a dOCUMENTARY aBOUT iT cALLED tHE vILLAGE oF cROSSDRESSERS, hOWEVER, oDDLY, tHEIR cMERA cREW dISAPPEARED tHE dAY aFTER tHEY aRRIVED aND hAVEN'T bEEN sEEN sINCE. iF aNYONE wERE tO aSK mE wHERE i tHINK tHEY mIGHT bE i mIGHT sAY mAYBE lOOK iN tHE fLOUR sTORE bENEATH tHE oLD bAKERY, bUT nOBODY wILL bECAUSE i'M vERY lITTLE AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!

[needyandbruce-blog]

bACK iN mY hOME vILLAGE, tHE sTART oF dECEMBER wAS cALLED sILLY sEASON, bUT fOR dIFFERENT rEASONS tHAN tHAN tOADY.  fOR oNE dAY mAYORAL pOWERS aND dUTIES wERE hANDED tO tHE bRIGAND wHO hAD bEEN iN tHE sANITORIUM tHE lONGEST.  tHE eVENT wAS sTOPPED aFTER A nOTORIOUS mURDERER pROMPTLY hAD tHE rEAL mAYOR aND mOST oF tHE pOLICE eXECUTED bY tHE cHOIR bOYS.  aHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[needyandbruce-blog]

iN mY hOME vILLAGE wHENEVER tHERE wAS a rEALLY bAD dAY, tHE vILLAGE bAKER wOULD bE oRDERED tO bAKE a hATECAKE, a cAKE tHAT wOULD bE fILLED wITH aLL tHE pROBLEMS oF tHE pEASANTS, tHE fAILED cROPS aND tHE fOUL wEATHER. oF cOURSE tHE bAKERS cOULDN"T rEALLY cONTAIN aLL pEOPLES wOES iN a cAKE aND tHEY wERE aLL bROKEN oN tHE wHEEL, bUT tHE bASIC rECIPE iS gOOD. tHIS oNE iS mADE wITH fAIRTRADE oRGANIC hATE.

[needyandbruce-blog]

iVE bEEN fAILED bY vIRTUALLY eVERY wOMAN iN mY lIFE, fROM mAMA wHO tRIED tO sELL mE tO tHE iNSURGENTS fOR bOY sOLDIER pARTS tO tHE wOMAN in tHE nEWsPAPER wHO pROMISED mE a bEAUTIFUL sTRANGER wOULD cOME iNTO mY lIfe lAST tUESDAY aND tHATS jUST tHE tRUTH oF iT bRUCE

Needyboy

[needyandbruce-blog]

i sIMPLY lOVE hATE dAYs! tHIS mUST bE oNE oF tHOSE sELF hELP bOOKS lIKE i sEE iN dR cLANCY's oFFICE.

[needyandbruce-blog]

eLECTIONS

wHEN tHERE uSED tO bE eLECTIONS fOR mAYOR iN mY vILLAGE, tHE tWO cANDIDATES wOULD pLAY a mODIFIED gAME oF cONKERS uSING oLD hAND gRENADES lEFT fROM tHE bIG sECOND wORLD fIGHT tHAT wERE aLWAYS bEING dUG uP iN tHE pOTATO fIELDS.  tHE cANDIDATE wITH  tWO aRMS lEFT aT tHE eND wOULD aUTOMATICALLY wIN aS yOU nEED tO uSE tWO hANDS tO bE aBLE tO lOCK bOLD pEOPLE iNTO tHE sTOCKS.

[needyandbruce-blog]

dR CLANcY, IS WhISkey rEALLY GooD mEDICInE cOs I tHOuGHT YoU WoULD Be bETTeR bY NoW?

Needyboy

[needyandbruce-blog]

sOMETIMES, iF yOU aSK dOUGALBY wHAT hE iS tHINKING aBOUT tHE aNSWER cAN bE dISTURBING.

[needyandbruce-blog]

sHUPPEN fREE sINCE sATURDAY, bUT iS aLL tHIS aBOUT tO cHANGE? dOUGALBY iS a fRIEND bUT hE hAS iSSUES....

[needyandbruce-blog]

i sIMPLY lOVE tHE sATURDAY dELIVERY oF fRESH cUBAN HEELS fOR tHE wEEK

[needyandbruce-blog]

sATURDAY mORNING iS fOR cOOKING bUT wE wILL sTRUGGLE tO mATCH a wINE tO tHIS cAKE mADE fROM oRGANIC fAIRTRADE cUBAN hEELS

[needyandbruce-blog]

a mESSAGE fROM mY pHYSICIAN, dR G cLANCY

[needyandbruce-blog]

a cONKER mAKES aN IDEAL fREE sEASONAL tOY fOR aN iNFANT.  tHEIR sMOOTH sHINY sHELL iS pLEASING tO tHE iNFANTS lITTLE gRASP, aND wHEN tHE cHILD iNEVITABLY sHOVES iT iN tHEIR gOB, iT eFFECTIVLY mUTES aLL bUT tHE mOST eXTREME rOARING.