'Raditz, you know I'll always love you...just be strong for me. Please. You can do that for me? I'll see you soon.' The faint voice that she spoke with was a dim memory of what it once was. Devoid of that optimism. Alas this wasn't really her voice, but just a replay of what she'd always tell her beloved son before he left on his missions.A fuzzy dream, as she wasn't anywhere to be seen. Just her voice that faded away the longer she spoke out to him. ' Be strong...'
Raditz woke up in the dark room of his capsule house. Alone. Gasping for air as he looked around to remind himself of reality. Slowly the Saiyan shifted into sitting up in bed as he wiped away at his eyes to clear his vision. Looking down at his hands made him growl in frustration to see his own tears.
This was a shameful habit he thought ended when he was a child. He told himself to stop remembering the dreams his mother appeared in after she died because they would make him whimper and weep. Being unable to control himself from making noises in his sleep could have gotten him and his partners killed on a mission. Such an embarrassing lack of control over his emotions would also only prove to Vegeta and Nappa that he was indeed a crybaby.
It’s been years since she appeared to him in dreams, even in words.
What she used to say to him echoed in his thoughts over and over now. It was cruel of his mind to do this to him. To turn those comforting words of parting into a haunting reminder of his failures. Ruining what few good memories he had left.
Can you still find it in your heart to love this pathetic son of yours? Even the weakest of Kakarrot’s friends can knock the wind out of me with a single punch now. Vegeta is right, I’m a disgrace to the Saiyan race now, not Kakarrot. He managed to become a Super Saiyan and defeated Frieza in combat, while all I could do was follow his orders. He wasn’t even born as an elite like I was. And yet he’s become so much stronger than he was before. Why can everyone get stronger while I stay the same??
Can you even see the disappointment I’ve become from wherever you are, Mother?
I hope not.
It was Christmas morning. While Kakarrot and his family will be waking up and opening presents together soon, Raditz would reluctantly get up and prepare himself for another day of training. He was too weak to take a full day off. Too weak to even accept a Christmas dinner invite.
The warmth from Chi-Chi’s abundant home cooking. Awkward family bonding moments. A possible surprise visit from Launch despite having dinner with him the night before. These are things he didn’t deserve.
He deserved to be alone during his first Christmas on Earth. For being so weak. For needing to train twice as hard just to get to the strength everyone was at right now. Perhaps three times as hard.
Raditz deserved the bitter sting of the winter winds blowing against him as his muscles burned and screamed for him to stop as he pushed himself harder than usual. He deserved to force himself to repeat dull training routines until he can barely make it back home this evening. Perhaps he shouldn’t even return home, and train through the night. That would keep him from dreaming again, wouldn’t it?
He deserved to be alone with the bittersweet encouragement of his mother from the past to inspire him on to continue his training. Perhaps if he wears himself out completely, she won’t appear in another dream for awhile.
But for today, they serve as his rare motivation to push himself past his limits.
That was Gine’s gift to her son Raditz that year.
