Jesse Elliot

“In the darkness, two shadows, reaching through the hopeless, heavy dusk. Their hands meet, and light spills in a flood like a hundred golden urns pouring out of the sun.”

[nejesse-blog]

honeyedxlemons:

– Honestly, Simon had been expecting Jesse to punch him again. He wouldn’t say it out loud, never out loud, but in his gut he had the sneaking suspicion that was going to happen. So when it didn’t, he was taken aback. He stepped back from Jesse, knowing himself and knowing that the feelings bubbling up inside him were dangerous, for both of them. It had been almost a whole year and Simon Reign was still in love with Jesse Elliot. It was hard not to be. He had kind eyes, a gentle smile, in almost all of his actions, Simon felt at home with him. Unless they were hiding. Until he had punched him. They had both done regrettable things, Simon had sold himself to pay for rent, he had sold himself to keep Jesse’s big, gay secret hidden, he had sold his integrity just to be close to someone he didn’t want to admit he loved.

– But things were different now. Times had changed, they had changed, for the better, Simon was hoping. “Talking would be good,” he finally agreed, unable to look Jesse in the eye too long, unable to look anywhere but the ground for too long. He was so embarrassed of himself honestly, he had just charged right up to a guy he hadn’t spoken too in months and just fucking, kissed him. It was okay though, cause he loved him, right? But Jesse was right. They needed to talk, and there was… A lot to talk about. Simon wanted to talk to him about the book and he wanted to talk to Jesse about what happened between them and he wanted to talk about maybe mending things, fixing things so that they could… They could try again. Simon desperately wanted to try again.

– “There’s a lot to talk about, but I think… I think private would be better. We can order food cause I don’t see it being a short conversation either,” Simon told him, his voice was soft and kind, he didn’t want to come off angry or scared or any of the other five emotions he was feeling. He was so happy to see Jesse and have him back in his life, in his general vicinity. But there was a lot that they needed to discuss, and Simon knew he was going to have to allow himself the room to get angry with him. He knew Jesse needed the room to get angry with him as well. But in the end, it would be great for them to talk. They needed it. He watched as Jesse rounded back to him from behind the desk and he felt his heart skip a beat. It hadn’t been that long, but it had been long enough that Simon forgot just how overwhelmed he got by just looking at him.

– There’s another moment before Simon can move his body, he could feel the tension between them, but instead of saying anything else, Simon just took Jesse’s hand in his own and gave his arm a gentle tug. “Don’t be scared,” he said, a teasing tone in his voice. Simon didn’t want there to be any animosity between them, he was sure things would be fine. They just needed to talk first.. “It’s just my hand, Jess. I promise I won’t kiss you again until after we’ve talked. If you want that of course.”

“If you want to take my car, or drive behind me, we can stop and get food and then take it back to my place, we can do that. Save us the wait for the food.” Jesse said and chuckled at the thought of it not being a short conversation. “Probably won’t let you leave anyways. We have a lot to catch up on.” He mused, a sly smile sliding onto his face as he looked down at Simon. Despite the fact that he was restraining himself from kissing the male, Jesse was in love with him. The months without Simon killed Jesse and now that he had him back and it seemed like Simon had the same feelings too, he wasn’t letting any second go to waste. Not anymore. Jesse refused to let Simon go this time. 

It was even confirmed more when Jesse turned back around from the desk and couldn’t help but smile. He couldn’t believe this was happening. Jess figured that as soon as Simon saw him, he’d let him have it. He never thought they’d be talking civilly and he never even thought he’d be able to consider them as a couple ever again. As much as he wanted it, he never thought that Simon would go for it. Not after everything that Jesse did. He was ready to apologize though, and he was ready to talk about everything. He wanted to tell Simon that he was ready to be open and way more secure in his sexuality and he just wanted to start over. All Jesse wanted was to start over. 

Jesse rolled his eyes as he took Simon’s hand and his fingers intertwined immediately. It felt so good to touch him and he knew at that moment that his thought about never letting Simon go was more true than ever. “Jesse Elliot doesn’t get scared.” He snorted “Especially not by your hand.” He said and started pulling him outside, and close to him. “oh trust me, I want that. I’m dying right now just standing here and holding your hand. All I want to do is make out with that beautiful face of yours but I’m trying to be mature.” Jesse said before realizing what had come out of his mouth. He blushed a little and ran his free hand through his hair. “I mean...your face is pretty but...I just..” He chuckled awkwardly. “I just hope that wasn’t too soon.”

Jesse remained quiet for a minute as they walked to his car but the quiet was a bit awkward and that wasn’t how he wanted this to go. What made it even more awkward was the view of Simon’s book, which showed tons of wear, on his dashboard. “Oh uh...” He said and looked over at the book. “I’ve read your book a couple of times. It’s really, really good. It has a lot of depth.” He said. He really did love the book and he figured it would be a good conversational piece before they started in on the drama that was their relationship. “Who was the er...the inspiration for it all?”

[nejesse-blog]

honeyedxlemons:

– For once in Simon Reign’s long, miserable life, things had gone right. After the fight with Jesse, after the man had just disappeared from Simon’s life without a word or any indication he would be back, things actually started to pick up. For months, Simon had been submitting his manuscript to any publishing house within a five hours drive, and basically the day after Jesse had hit him, he had gotten a call saying his book was accepted for publishing. He had a party, granted, the party was just himself and Beck but still, they went out and celebrated. Simon’s first book was going to be published by Penguin Books, one of the most well known publishing houses, and they were going to promote it as well. The next few months, he threw himself into his edits, his whole being went into making sure the book was perfect for publishing. And then finally… It happened. Simon Reign was a published author.

– And then they wanted him to go on a book tour, he was an absolute marvel to the publishing world in some respects. He was a gay foster kid who spent his whole life suffering in a system that wouldn’t help him, and he managed to drag himself out of that. According to his editor, it was just one of those stories you didn’t hear everyday and it was exactly what they needed for the promotional part of the tour. Simon went on tour through the country, talking with a bunch of teenagers near his age about what it was like to be a published author and how hard it was to live through his life and get where he was but that he wouldn’t change a second of it, because it lead him where he was now.

– Finally, after book tour was finally over, Simon was given some much needed time off from the world. He would go back to East Haven and he would start edits for the next book, the sequel to his very first novel. Arriving back in East Haven almost felt like stepping back in time, like he was going somewhere he had once been but didn’t need to be anymore. But he remembered, it was his home, this was where his roots were and he needed to keep to them. East Haven made him who he was after all. 

– Simon had been back for a few weeks before he decided to hit up any place in town that might have his book. He went to the local bookstores and signed a bunch of copies for the owner, all with a bright smile on his face, and then he went to the library, he was just going to talk with the head librarian about maybe doing a reading and Q&A for the high schoolers in town, if there was any interest in that of course. What Simon hadn’t been expecting when he walked into the library was, “Jesse…” He gasped, unable to find any words. Old emotions started to bubble up and he couldn’t stop himself from his actions, his legs made him walk over to the man who had left him and he grabbed his dumb sweater that made him look so soft and warm and pulled him in for a kiss.

The thing that Jesse had not wanted to happen, needless to say, happened. He didn’t know what he had been expecting when the male walked in but Jesse wasn’t ready. In sheer stupid hope, he had maybe thought that Simon had been gone long enough to not recognize the back of his head but that was obviously not what was happening. Simon had recognized Jesse, pretty quickly in his opinion too, and now their lips were locked. Everything that Jesse had inside of him wanted to kiss him back. He wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around the male and just pull him close and kiss him for an eternity. Jesse couldn’t do it though, not after all that had happened. He wanted things fixed first, he couldn’t enter back into whatever Simon and he had been without fixing everything that Jesse had left behind. 

So despite every ounce of love for Simon that Jesse had in his body, he pushed the boy back and shook his head “Simon, you can’t kiss me. Not until we talk. Not until I apologize and we fix things.” He said softly and ran a hand through his hair. “I uh...I have a small house on the edge of town if you wanna come by after I get done here....I’m almost done...but I just...” He sighed and put his face in his hands for a minute to think and sighed “We just need to talk, okay? The last thing I want to do is hurt you again and there’s a lot to discuss and I don’t know how it’s going to end up so we just...as much as I want to kiss you, and trust me I do, I can’t right now.” 

Jesse just looked down at his hands and looked back at the time and shrugged “Or we can go now. I didn’t realize that my shift was pretty much over.” He said and turned around and took his name tag off and leaned over the desk and put it in a basket before turning back “Or we could go someplace public if that’s more comfortable and convenient for you.” He said and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly “Or we can just forget I said anything and just ignore each other too. I’m sure you don’t want to see me after everything I did.” He said and chewed on the bottom of his lip. 

Jesse wasn’t one to get nervous often, he was a pretty confident guy, but something in Simon made his knees weak and his heart race and with everything that happened last time, he just wanted to make sure he was doing everything right. Simon deserved a lot better than what Jesse had to offer and if he had found something better already then Jesse didn’t want to intrude. “It’s up to you, man.” He said and shrugged, just waiting for an answer. 

[nejesse-blog]

Here Jesse was, back in Easthaven, after months of disappearing and he hadn’t told a soul. He had ended things on a bad note and he had left like a child who hadn’t gotten his way but now he was back. He had grown up a lot while gone, fixing more of the mess that his ‘parents’ had left for him and figuring himself out more while trying to heal from the heartbreak that he had ran from. Jesse knew that he would come back at some point though because Easthaven was his home and it was all he knew but it didn’t mean that he had to. come back the same. While he was gone he had really gotten into books, he guessed because they were a way to connect with Simon in a way. Hell, Simon had even written a book and to say that Jesse’s copy was overused was an understatement. Jesse had become less exuberant about his monetary supplies and had become more reserved, not really wanting to open himself up again after the last time. He was still as athletic as ever, as he had come back to Easthaven to be the local coach both in the high school and out but he volunteered at the library pretty much anytime he could. A bittersweet form of closure, he presumed, because Simon came in often...or he had when he had been in town. His hopes of catching Simon at the library were shot when he heard that Simon was on a book tour and wouldn;t be back for awhile. Regardless, Jesse wasn’t going to let that hold him back and he continued working day after day. 

The fateful day came though, the one he knew would come, when Simon re-entered the library. Jesse knew Simon had to come back to town at some point, that it was just a waiting game, and he thought he had prepared himself for that day. But when Jesse saw the familiar brown hair and brown eyes, he wasn’t ready. Simon Reign was back and Jesse was trembling in his shoes, his heart racing in his chest and all he could do was turn around and pray that Simon didn’t notice him and make a scene. He knew he wasn’t ready to deal with what he had done, especially not in a place such as the library. And as much as he was dying to grab Simon and kiss him hard, he knew he couldn’t. So Jesse continued to work, his back turned to Simon, just waiting for him to leave, or the drama that always seemed to follow them to appear.