In other words, “A Beginner’s Guide to Not Being an Ita.”
I think the first thing to answer here though is a question I get a lot which is “What is an ita?” Well, an ita is basically a really, really bad Lolita. The term comes from the Japanese word “itai” meaning “ouch.” Literally, an ita is a Lolita who “looks so bad it’s painful to look at.” Ita has become a pretty popular insult among the Lolita community and it’s really something you’ll want to avoid being called. So, how can you avoid being called an ita? Well my friend, read on and you shall learn! (It’s a long article so I’m putting it under a break but if you’re really serious about starting Lolita there is a lot of stuff in here that you should know!)
So, the first beginner mistake that I would like to point out is important because it can influence a lot of other mistakes. It’s a mistake that a lot of you may know from reading my previous post about rectangle headdresses. That’s right, it’s anime and the effect it’s had on Lolita. It’s no secret that about 80-90% of Lolitas are introduced to the fashion through anime in some way whether it’s something you saw in an anime or manga, something you saw in a drawing, something you learned about through cosplay or at a convention, etc. Most Lolitas learn about it through anime. And this is fine, I actually learned about Lolita through anime and I’m not afraid to admit that. The problem though, is that anime doesn’t always provide an accurate image of what Lolita fashion really is.
This is because most anime artists don’t know all that much about Lolita. They know it’s cute and frilly and they just sort of know the basic look of it. This is why you tend to get a lot of pictures of scantily clad anime girls with black dresses with white ruffles that artists try to pass off as Lolita. And really, that’s all fine and dandy. They’re just artists drawing some cute girls in cute dresses and even if they aren’t particularly Lolita, the characters almost always end up adorable anyway. So then what’s the problem?
Well, after seeing these anime girls wearing “this lolita thing”, people start picking up on that and decide that they want to look like those anime girls! This creates a problem though because people are just copying what they think Lolita looks like based on anime pictures which even if they are good representations, can’t give good representations of good quality materials. And thus we end up with the stereotypical anime convention “cosplay lolita.” Black dress covered in cheap white lace, huge black rectangle headdress covered in white lace, etc.
So the first thing you need to learn is to not let anime influence the way you look at Lolita! The characters from Rozen Maiden aren’t Lolitas. Chii from Chobits is not a Lolita. Misa Amane from Death Note is not a Lolita. (No, not even in this episode where her outfit is very obviously supposed to be Lolita. If one were to wear that outfit in real life they would instantly be labeled an ita and you will learn why soon enough.) There are very few actual, good representations of Lolita in anime. (There are some, but not many.) So as much as you may love anime, leave that love of anime out of Lolita as much as possible. Lolita is NOT cosplay and should not be treated as such.
Now that we have that out of the way, lets take a look at elements of an outfit that can make it ita. Let’s start with the worst offender.
Lace! Lace everywhere! Black lace, white lace, huge lace, thin lace, dresses dripping in lace! Here’s a tip for you: more lace does not make something more Lolita. This is probably one of the most common problems, especially when it’s a black dress with a lot of white lace. And that’s because that’s what’s most commonly depicted in anime. At one point that was the height of Gothic Lolita fashion, but even so, it was still good quality. If you’re using lace you pulled out of the $1 bin at the fabric store, it’s probably not good quality lace and shouldn’t be used on anything for Lolita. If you want to know more on the difference between good lace and bad lace (which I really recommend doing), check out this guide.
An ita staple is a black dress with white lace and this has given black and white outfits a really bad reputation in the Lolita community. But just because it’s an ita stereotype doesn’t mean there’s no way to do it right! It’s all about quality and balance. Your dress shouldn’t be completely drenched in layers and layers of lace.
Another mistake that often tends to be done in the same dresses where lace is running rampant is corset lacing. No, not functional corsets, but corset lacing put in the front of a dress for decoration. Once again, there is a right way to do this and a wrong way to do this. The corset lacing shouldn’t cover your entire chest from side to side and it definitely shouldn’t cover the entire front of the chest. A little in the middle is all that’s needed to get the point across.
Something else to keep in mind is that good quality isn’t limited to just the lace. Lolita is meant to look elegant and nothing says “I lack elegance” like wearing something that’s obviously made out of the same materials as your average party store Halloween costume. (Okay, so maybe other things lack more elegance than that, but hey, it gets the point across.) Quality is key with Lolita and everything should be well made and made with good materials. This is why fabrics like satin and stretch velvet are often avoided. Satin and velvet are sometimes used by brands to make dresses that are absolutely stunning, but the problem is when people go and get the same cheap satin that’s used in Halloween costumes. It’s best to stay away from materials like this until you have a lot of experience with Lolita. Remember, even if your coord was inexpensive, you don’t want it to look cheap!
Another big problem that beginners have is trying too hard to be unique and special right off the bat. This is not a good idea when you’re just starting out though because you haven’t had enough time to experiment with outfits to know what works well and what doesn’t. Don’t try to throw rainbow striped socks into an otherwise all black and white outfit. Don’t try to pull off fuzzy rave leg warmers with Lolita. Just don’t try to be unique right away. After you’ve been in Lolita for a while and you’ve had a lot of successful coords put together, then you can start putting your own spin on things. Start off simple so you can actually get the hang of things first. A big part of Lolita is good coordination. This can mean a lot of things. Color coordination, knowing what accessories look good together, coordinating your hair and makeup with your clothes, etc. This is another place where beginners can go terribly terribly wrong and usually it has something to do with beginners trying too hard to stand out and be unique. Your coord doesn’t have to (and probably shouldn’t) include all the colors of the rainbow nor should it include colors that look like they could glow in the dark. Radioactive green is not elegant.
Something else that beginners tend to forget is the basic foundations of Lolita fashion. The shape, the length, and the modesty. These are three of the most important aspects of Lolita that are often forgotten. Dresses should be around knee-length and even for certain styles where they can be a bit shorter they must still be safe to bend over in. They should also have a shape given by a petticoat, meaning either a bell shape or an A-line shape depending on the style of the dress. Petticoats should be the proper Lolita shape and should be about an inch shorter than the skirt so they don’t peek out the bottom. Also, when trying to achieve the proper Lolita shape, remember where everything goes. Lolita skirts are meant to sit at the natural waist (the smallest part of the waist), not the hips.
Modesty should also be kept in Lolita through the use of bloomers, blouses, stockings, etc. Cleavage shouldn’t show, nor should the whole leg. The idea with Lolita is to look cute and elegant and you shouldn’t show off too much skin.
One more big problem is hair and makeup. Lolita is a cute and elegant fashion, no matter what style you’re doing, and your hair and makeup should reflect that. Even if you’re doing Gothic Lolita, don’t overdo it with the Gothic makeup. (Just because Mana can pull certain things off doesn’t mean everyone can. Keep in mind that most of his photos are photoshopped to hell and back anyway.) Stay away from things like whiteface and black lipstick for the most part. Darker makeup can be worn but make sure it’s good quality. Don’t just throw on any old Halloween store black lipstick because it tends to be really bad quality and just looks bad. Not everyone can pull off Gothic makeup. It’s usually best to go more natural with maybe darker eye makeup. You don’t want to look like a clown (unless you’re actually doing a circus themed photoshoot.)
Your hair should also be taken care of. It doesn’t matter what your hair is like it can be brushed and styled and taken care of. Even if you have naturally curly and frizzy hair, there are still ways to work with it so it looks good. You should never look like you just came out of hibernation.
One more thing to keep in mind is that not everything can be used for Lolita! Sure that miniskirt is adorable, but that doesn’t mean it’s Lolita. Don’t try to use every item in your closet as a Lolita item. Also, when you’re first starting out, it’s best to start out with the three main styles: Gothic Lolita, Sweet Lolita, and Classic Lolita. Lolita is hard enough to start out in without going into more difficult styles like Hime Lolita, Wa Lolita, etc. (I especially suggest staying away from Hime and Wa Lolita to start off with as they can be incredibly hard to pull off, especially for beginners.) Keep your first few outfits simple or else you run even more risk of looking like you’re trying too hard.
I know, I know. This was a HUGE post and there was a lot of information to take in, but if you’re really serious about getting into Lolita, these are things you really need to know. Remember to start simple and don’t try to rush things. Take your time, save up money, and make sure you buy good quality pieces. Don’t try to make it a race or you’ll just end up looking rushed and not well put together. Your first outfit may end up being your most expensive full outfit because you have to buy everything! Skirt, blouse, petticoat, bloomers, socks, shoes, purse, accessories, etc. Just be patient and try your best.
Yes, it IS hard to be a beginner Lolita. I know! I did it too! And you know what, after a while, you can learn to play around with the “rules” and guidelines of Lolita and make things that are unique to your own style, but just get your feet in the water first. And remember, be humble and accept constructive criticism from other Lolitas. It’s the best way to get farther and get more experience.
This post is not trying to discourage anyone! Lolita can be really hard and the sooner you see that, the sooner you can overcome it. No Lolita wants to be called an ita and I’m trying to save beginners from having to deal with that. If you do just happen to like those “ita lace monster” dresses, go ahead and wear them! But if you want to avoid being called an ita, don’t say it’s Lolita! Wear what you like, but if it’s not Lolita, don’t say it is. That would be like saying “I’m cosplaying Inuyasha” when you’re very obviously cosplaying Naruto. (Bad example but I had to pick characters I knew everyone would know. lol) People who know their anime will know that you’re not telling the truth but people who know nothing about it will go on thinking that Naruto is Inuyasha. If you’re not wearing Lolita but you say you are, Lolitas might just end up labeling you as an ita, but people who know nothing about Lolita will think your ita lace monster is actually what Lolita looks like and that’s not a good thing because that just makes even more beginners who will have to read this huge article!
So, I know this post was excruciatingly long, but if you’re serious about becoming a Lolita, read it! You won’t regret it! So I hope you read this and take my advice so that maybe we can get a little closer to getting rid of the word ita. (It may never happen, but one can always dream.)
(Disclaimer: as is stated in my blog disclaimer there are different interpretations of what works for Lolita and what doesn’t, this article is simply stating common beginner mistakes and how to avoid them. As I have said, wear what you want, but if it’s not Lolita, don’t say it is. Also, none of the photos are personal photos from anyone they are all stock photos or magazine scans so don’t worry about anyone being embarrassed or anything.)
