Mama Scribb!

I am mama. 21/bisexual. 12/30/95 I make sure you smile always, keep yourself in a positive light, and let you know how loved you are. I'm also a Mermaid. That's a thing.

[nellyscribbles]

It’s been a while.

So Hello everyone! It hads been quite a while since I’ve used this tumblr account. There are a few different reasons for it. The major one being was, I actually created a new account called @thedangeroussecondcookie which is where I have been. Actually something pretty nasty happened in the past week that almost made me shut down completly. Here’s the detalied post  that I recomend you look at first before continue reading so you all aren’t kept in the dark about the situation. I want to share something with you all that gave me a new light on the situation that I’m in.

I had a dream last night that I was sitting outside on my bottom step, watching my car run. I don't know what triggered me to look around but I turned my head to the right and I saw Damian sitting next to me, giving me his little smile that he gave when he was in my arms. I looked at him and out or habit I told him to get back in the house and he shouldn't be outside. He didn't move. He just looked at me smiling as to say "I'm not going anywhere Mama."

I still can see it so clearly. This morning when I woke up I didn't feel sad. I didn't hurt anymore. I felt comfort. Him sitting next to me and giving me that content smile, made me feel at peace. Since I put him down, I had this guilt of I didn't do the right thing and I kept thinking of all the things I could have done differently. Most importantly, I felt that I was unfair to Damian and that he wouldn't forgive me for making the decision. Seeing him sit next to me even when I tried to shoo him back into the imaginary house, made me realize that he wasn't going anywhere. The smile meant he was at peice and he was so happy just sitting next to me.

He didn't hate me for the decision I made. Even in death he still had so much love for me that he wanted me to know that he wasn't going to leave me no matter what. It also made me think of another important question. If Damian wasn't Angry at me for what I did, Why was I angry with myself?

I know I'm not going to be sad when I miss him. Because now I know that he will always be here. He was my cat even in death. I find comfort in knowing that no matter where I am or where I'm going, he's always going to follow me. He won't ever leave me.

[theycantalk]

indoor cat

[nellyscribbles]

Damian in his comfy place.

[nellyscribbles]

Gettin ready for a wedding!

[nellyscribbles]

Got some rockin hair going on right now.

[nellyscribbles]

Happy family!

[nellyscribbles]

Happy Friday everyone! 😀

[nellyscribbles]

One last morning mimosa because... Why not?

[nellyscribbles]

Oh lord! What is my hair this morning?!

[nellyscribbles]

I was gonna pack for vacation but this little princess said no. Guess I'm being a bed today.

[nellyscribbles]

And so, to end this 4 year journey, we as a group claim first place at Finals. I am incredibly proud of this little family and it makes me so sad that this is my last year to spin with them. I will be on the sidelines being the emotional support and be thier biggest cheerleader. I will miss the great times we've shared and I will always remember this moment for the rest of my life. It took me 8 years to get it right. I'm glad it was with these girls!

[nellyscribbles]

Made a new friend at the Disney Store. He was on sale and my daddy got him for me.

[nellyscribbles]

Here is a dogo. He is a good dogo.

[nellyscribbles]

Messed around with some makeup. My hair still has hairspray in it from Saturday and I decided to have some fun. I created a look for a bad ass villian /side female character. Don't know who she is or what her name is, but I think it looks cool.

[gwendolencorday-deactivated2023]

If I ever refer to you as "my dude", "bro", "bruh", et cetera, please know:

1) I mean it in the most gender-neutral way possible.

2) I will stop if you ask, no judgement.

[ampervadasz]

[garbage-empress]

she who controls the frogs controls it all

[jtated-deactivated20180729]

At first I was like hmmmmmm but THEN

[chlostertalks]

How to set an Olympic Record: fall down seven times, stand up eight.