Serendipity ∞

What is living? Forging memories. What is dying? Forgetting them. I never die. 17, Unavailable

[yanilavigne]

[nerdcakenbakes]

How many secrets can you keep?

[nerdcakenbakes]

it would be enough to make me feel sane. (-.-“)

[nerdcakenbakes]

Then one day, suddenly, it ends, it changes, I don’t understand, it dies, or it’s me, I don’t understand that either. I ask the words that remain— sleeping, waking, morning, evening. They have nothing to say.

[nerdcakenbakes]

[nerdcakenbakes]

Something will happen. You’ll find somebody prettier or you’ll get tired of me, and then you’ll leave me, and I’ll never recover, ..because the only kind of love I have to offer is stupid and blind and so deep and powerful that I feel like I’m cracking just to hold it in.

[nerdcakenbakes]

Are you?

I want to be found by someone who’s as crazy as I am.

And to that person, I’ll be down to do anything with you.

We could go late night driving with our favorite music blasting from the radio and sing it out loud until our voices become so hoarse — that at the end of our roadtrip, the only way we could say “I love you” is by whispering and staring through each other’s eyes.

We could run to a rooftop of a random building and watch all the people below hustle with the city lights steady and our liquors ready. We could be lit together and stop being sober. I’ll give you a bottle of vodka and let’s pour shots together. Let’s tell each other stories we kept as secrets and I'll make your lips my chaser.

We could hunt abandoned cities and steal some cigarettes from that old convenient store filled with rusty shelves. Light it up for me, and kiss me better after it burns out — only for me to breathe you in with smoke as your flavor. There’s so much wild stuff out there that’s waiting for us but let me ask you something first,

Love, I’m down for you. Are you?

[nerdcakenbakes]

[nerdcakenbakes]

Thoughts

Give me your sadness. Let me hold your hand when you feel that you are about to drown any minute. I don't want polished corners, let me feel your rough edges, let me taste the rust from your past that you hide somewhere deep inside your heart. Pain rises in your chest like waves, gently at first, then crashing into your half-baked dreams and hopes. I want your good nights and bad nights, and every night from there on. I want to hold you when you tremble from fear. I want to love you until you fall in love with yourself, and then I want to love you some more.

[nerdcakenbakes]

0089.) I don’t think people would understand how hard it is to explain what’s going on in your head when you don’t even understand it yourself.

[nerdcakenbakes]

To the guy whose heart I can't heal...

I don't really want to pursue these feelings. I know my place and that will never be in your heart. You've been with this girl before whose name is the only thing I know about. She left you hanging. You can't move forward and I felt so broken inside. I wasn't even the one estranged, was I? But because I know how it feels to be left behind; I know that it hurts so much that you can no longer breathe and you wonder if the pain will ever fade away. You ask yourself what went wrong, but all you get is a question left unanswered. You wish things would just go back to the way they were. You blink multiple times just to check if all of this was a dream, but nothing changes. I want to show you I'm here, but how can I do that if we don't even talk? I want to tell you how much I like you, how much I want to be with you. But how can I, if every time I look at you, I get butterflies in my stomach? How can I mend your heart when you won't even let me bring the broken pieces back together? They say people come and go. They leave because you deserve someone better. I'm not saying it's me. But I can be, if you only let me.

[nerdcakenbakes]

Thoughts

I know I’m hard to love and my flaws are unacceptable and it is quite a relief to have someone like you by my side for a while. You see, I am best at loving you but I can’t seem to understand why I can’t make you do the same for me. You’re here, I know.. but never with me. As much as I wanted to do something about it, I know I can never change the fact that I am not ‘her’. I know that every piece of your broken soul still… and will always creep for her.

[nerdcakenbakes]

0086.) I just wanna get it right with someone who’s just as tired of getting it wrong as I am 😌🌹

[nerdcakenbakes]

[nerdcakenbakes]

0084.) To the boy with the perpetually sleepy eyes who taught me that good things take time. Thankyou :)

[nerdcakenbakes]

0083.) Perhaps it is too broken to mend.

[nerdcakenbakes]

I hate you

I was a cold person who couldn't care less about anyone. And then you came into my life, I let you in. You changed all that. You made me change. You made me warm. You made me a little bearable to be with other people. And then you left.