So I used this website to find which characters/people I have the same personality type as. Some of them are... confusing, to say the least
Me talking about them all under the cut!
Harry Potter: BILL and CHARLIE??? There's gotta be some mistake here, I'm not that cool. Blaise though - I can see that. And I'm happy about it. Harry Potter characters are also all a hit.
Undertale/Deltarune: How... do you assign a personality to a heart? Bob, sure, he's hilarious, Doggo, yep, love him, SUSIE MY BELOVED, I don't really remember who Seam is whoops, but... Yellow Soul. Okay. Overall, this is a hit. Still confused though.
Undertale/Deltarune: How... do you assign a personality to a heart? Bob, sure, he's hilarious, Doggo, yep, love him, SUSIE MY BELOVED, I don't really remember who Seam is whoops, but... Yellow Soul. Okay. Overall, this is a hit. Still confused though.
Favorite Shows: SPIKE???????????? This one made me the happiest. He's one of my favorite characters in that show - I'm so not as cool as him though. Chris Kratt just made me happy because I loved that show. Hunter fits me actually super well, wow. And Sir Percival - I haven't actually gotten to where he's introduced in the show, but from what I have seen he's great. So yay, all of these are good!
Hogwarts Mystery: ERIKA! She almost makes up for them sticking me with Jacob (derogatory). I'd much rather be a badass Quidditch bitch than that useless fuck. 1/2 good.
Video Games I Love: HANK FUCKING ANDERSON I LOVE YOU. Okay, now... how do you get a personality from two animatronics that kill you just like the other ones?? Don't get me wrong, Foxy makes me happy and Withered Bonnie is cool too, but huh??? All good though, even if those two don't make sense!
Real People: Jensen Ackles, eh? And Kristen Stewart, damn, the website must think I'm hot as hell. Also how am I half of Fall Out Boy, my favorite band ever?? Can't complain. Sam Golbach - I feel like we're very different, but the more I think about it the more I can see it. I haven't watched anything from him in a long time - guess I know what I'll be doing later! And yeah, Rosemarie, cool. I like that. Real people are all a hit.
Misc Games: I wasn't aware that Diogenes had a name, or a personality, but okay. Protagonist is cool, love him. I haven't kept up with Yandere Simulator, but Nemesis does look really cool so I'm going to be happy about her. Robert... buddy, I wish your ending was better. I was so mad when I immediately went for you and looked up a walkthrough and everything to get stuck with that bullshit. Ellie, sure, she's cool I suppose, and 47 is here because he made me crack up laughing. All in all, these guys are a hit as well!
Shows/Movie I Liked: Beck Oliver, eh, he's kind of an ass, but he is actually really similar to me. Mittens I love, no complaints there! Perry and Vanessa... why does this website think I'm cool? I'm not. 4/4
Shows/Movies I Haven't Watched: I've heard good things about both Bobby and Claire. It also gave me Ruby the demon, don't know why I didn't screenshot her. Nice, we love demons. My dad says Jasper fits me, and my mom says that Salem does, so I guess these all work. (technically I've watched spn but only the first season and years ago so it doesn't count shut up)
Misc Others: Edith is fun. I like her. Max? Eh, I could never be that quiet. It also gave me Charlie from Charlie and Lola, but I don't think it fits so I didn't put him here. Eddie yeah, I'd get super pissed off by Roger too and have my head up my ass, I can see him. Artemis I feel like is a direct attack against my hatred of men and chronic virginity, but she's also a badass so I'll allow it. Mulan - again, I'm not that cool. And Jessica Rabbit - I'm not that hot, but thanks for the ego boost.
Can you make headcanons for clingy yandere druig with mortal reader
Clingy Yandere Druig X Mortal Reader Headcanons
•Druig is selfish. If you couldn’t already tell by the whole ‘keeping a compound hostage’ thing then you would be able to by the way he treats you. Never leaving your side and on the rare occasion you are apart he’s always lurking around watching.
•He’ll go through anyone and anything to figure out a way to make his darling immortal like him. He’s terrified of their mortality. Druig does his best not to show it to them but he breaks down pretty often at the thought of losing them.
•Much more likely to follow you around than he is to make you follow him. Like he wants you to be happy so he’ll go wherever and do whatever you ask him because he’s happiest just being by your side.
•Domestic Druig would be so cute. He’d wear whatever little joke aprons you got him as he tries to cook and clean and just generally be a good boyfriend. The definition of malewife, manipulate, mansplain.
•He loves you so so much but he’s very annoying sometimes. Like instead of ever getting angry at you he just explains things over and over and scolds you like you’re 5. Then goes and takes his anger out on some poor guy but that’s not really important.
•If he can’t figure out a way to make them immortal then he’d stay with them as long as possible and then off himself soon after. When the man is with someone he’s with them forever.
•He’d hype you up for everything. Gets money from Kingo to fund whatever dreams you have and is at the front row for every event or ceremony. Even the little things like getting an A on a paper or finally perfecting your crochet hats and he’s by your side smothering you with praise and love.
i need to know what yandere god darling would say if s/o asked ''are we going to have kids?''
I'll be honest with you much as I love to make yandere god darling get crazy over that, it really wouldn't be in character for them.
It's not really an idea they ever entertained— they have no need for children, and while they do have the patience to deal with Teyvat's children they never really felt any desire to have some of their own. But if you ask them that and seem hopeful about it, they will start considering it.
If it's children that you want, if they will make you a smidge happier and less likely to try more escape attempts, then perhaps they can indulge you— and you will no doubt have to shed some of your more troublesome hobbies, right?
So while Darling would see the children as a means to an end at first, i can imagine them maybe growing quite fond and protective over them later— especially if they happen to look like a mix of you and them.
Headcanons for Yandere LJ with an SO who is very level-headed and obedient, but still wants to set rules for things like living conditions and who LJ shouldn't kill. They say if he can follow those rules then they are happy to be with him. Is he willing/open to these ideas, or would it upset him?
Interestiiinnnnnnnnggg
Jack is willing to do a certain amount of things to keep his Darling happy, but there's only so much that he can do and so much he's willing to budge on, and you're going to have to understand that. You don't get to call all the shots, after all, he may love you more than anything, but he's the one that kidnapped you, he's the one holding you as a prisoner, and he's the one that won't hesitate to punish and hurt you should you step too far out of line.
He's fine to budge a bit on living conditions, to an extent. I'm gonna say it's likely you're probably living in a house within his carnival grounds, and so that means that you're going to be limited, at the very least, to the scenery that you're surrounded by. Sure, he'll fix up the house for you, he'll get you the different types of food you like to eat, he'll get you some things to keep yourself occupied with, he'll let you roam around as much as you want to. All on the condition that you never set foot outside of the carnival grounds. Do that, and you'll lose access to all the stuff he gave you, he'll use your wants and needs as a reward to be held over your head.
Something else you need to understand is you can't call the shots for every aspect of his life, especially his work life. He doesn't decide who he kills, Slender, his boss, decides who he kills. He tells you that up front, and you'd better accept it, because if you keep pushing that boundary you're going to end up upsetting him and making him pissy because there isn't anything he can do about it, and you don't even get involved in his work anyway, so he's not going to change how he does his job for you. He'll play house with you to keep you happy and spoiled, so you just need to be ready to make compromises as well, all so you can stay his lovely little Darling because whether you want it or not, he's never going to let go of you. You can try and set as many rules as you want, but at the end of the day, he's in charge of you, and you're completely at his mercy.
Jin and Yin (separate) introducing their captive darling to their mom, Nine-Tailed Vixen.
Jin/ The Gold Demon
"Mother, I would like to introduce to you my darling, Y/N." Jin said to his mother, smiling with glee.
Even though your 'lover' was gleeful to show you off to his mother, you were not once you saw her. The demoness was a fox demon with nine white tails, and white hair that would reach the floor it is was not done up in the way it was. She had two ears poking out of her hair as well. She did not look like her children which made you question if they looked like their father. The only thing that seemed to have some from their mother, was her red eyes.
"It's a pleasure to meet you my dear." She said as he kneeled down to you on the floor you were chained to.
You tried back away from her, but she grabbed you by the ankle and yanked you to her, making you yelp.
"My son has good taste, you look so good I could eat you." She said licking her lips.
"Mother please." Jin said with some concern.
She burst into laughter and stood up and kissed her son's cheeks.
You don't think she was joking.
Yin/The Silver Demon
"Mother, I would like to introduce to you my darling, Y/N." Yin said to his mother with a worried look on his face.
You held onto your boyfriend's hand and watched as his mother watched you. The fox demoness had 9 snow white fox tails and a pair of fox ears on her head where her hair was tidied up to look like a flower from behind. She didn't look a lot like her spn's, outside of her red eyes, hers seeming to be filled with disapproval.
"Well, she is an acceptable human mate." She said, dismissing the issue.
You felt rather hurt by her tone of voice, only wanting your boyfriend's mother to like you.
Yin seemed to have the same reaction as you as his grip on your hand tightened. "Mother please don't speak to them in that tone."
She rolled her eyes and waved her hand in dismissal.
Your boyfriend growled, pulling you away as he walked away from his mother.
Could you plz do a [Platonic] Yandere Mother Either Pepa or Julieta with a child reader always doing something they aren't supposed to and getting hurt
Like danger is just their thing
Sure!
Platonic Yandere Pepa with Child reader
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Pepa is sure you are going to be the reason she will have a heart attack whenever you get in danger, she just does not want her baby to get hurt in any way and has her other children keep an eye on you so that you do not get hurt as often as you already are.
Pepa starts to have a cloud whenever you get hurt and goes to Julieta for some food in order to heal your wounds, but don't think it won't get unpunished.
Pepa will keep you near her and make you not do anything so that you won't get hurt and it will take her a few days in order for her to trust you on your own again, before you go ahead and get yourself injured (again).
There is a high chance where Pepa's protectiveness will also start to affect the rest of her family, the ones most affected will be her husband and other kids.
They will also start to be near you so you won't get injured.
Felíx tends to keep an eye out for you whenever you are doing daily task because you never know what will happen, and even though Felíx thought that Pepa was overprotective at first (which she is) he understood where she came from and slowly started to become overprotective himself.
Over all Pepa will start to get moody whenever you do something dangerous even though she warned you or told you not to do something in case you got hurt, and if you keep doing dangerous activities there will be a case where you will be locked in your room for a day just to make sure you are not harmed.
I got this idea from mythological stories and here’s my idea: How would yandere Tanjiro react to the reader having the ability of destruction through dance? Like whenever she dances, destruction just takes place no matter what, like earthquakes begin to happen, it starts thundering and stuff like that
Thanks for asking, love
I hope you enjoy🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
Yandere Tanjiro x Destructive Dancer
What fun! A darling that can defend themself!
I think Tanjiro would meet you on his journey to fight a demon
You’d be the center of the town their pride and joy instructing you to dance on the soil of their enemies and pampered when not
You’d essentially be a living weapon that the average citizens are horrified by you or join in on the idolization of you and your dance
When Tanjiro comes around he’ll save someone like the mayor from a demon
And in thanks they’ll invite him to watch as you rain destruction on rivaling town
He’ll watch as you gracefully weave and wind a story through your dance that demands that a hailstorm plague this town
Tanjiro is enamored with your dancing but he takes notice of the dejected glaze over your (e/c) eyes
You finish and your town praises you as they usher you away and back inside your your carriage as they return to their home
He sees how you nearly tear up when you turn to look behind you and over the admiring heads of your towns people
The other town is completely flattened, the ice rocks are all that's left with some being stained with red splats
Tanjiro is both horrified and mystified by the power you have as a typical human
When he does get to speak with you possibly by sneaking into your compound
He’ll catch your interest because of his getup
“What's with the uniform?”
He’ll tell you all about his mission to avenge his family and all the demons he has fought along the way
And this would be the routine until he popped the question:
“Would you like to leave this place?”
You were so tired of being this town’s pride as a weapon and even hoped if you became a demon slayer too it would atone for all that you’ve killed in the past
So you left with him and he took you to a cottage in the mountains surrounded by trees
For hours you lived there with visits from Tanjiro and eventually his sister
Nezuko would sometime spend time with you but she mostly slept
One day you’d again yearn to see the world past the trees and mounts of your cottage
“So…when exactly can I leave?”
“Ha ha. Never.”
This is a shock to you, for someone who trusted this snake you weren’t expecting his restriction
In truth he never intended to let you travel or do anything for that matter
He couldn’t have you possibly being turned into a demon or being used as a weapon again
He already contacted Kagaya and the Hashira’s stretching the truth just a little bit
During my travels I’ve come across a demon that has also not eaten a human but can be used by humans as a weapon. I request that we separate them from temptation by isolating them. I spoke with Miss Tamayo about using them as bait for Muzan Kibitsuji, she approved.
-Tanjiro K.
Of course he sent a similar letter to Tamayo saying the Demon Slayer Corps approved
He was given the support and supplies to appease you now all that was left was to stop you from ever leaving:
“Do you really think you should leave?”
His smile wasn’t as innocent as usual, his eyes were grim and the light ticking of his head made you scared to answer. All throughout your life the only anger you’ve ever been exposed to was when you first tried to really dance; back then you were enamored with your neighbor, a gorgeous young man who had dedicated his time and energy to helping his younger sister learn her dance. Eventually he started doing it on his own and you couldn’t help but try to memorize the way his hips swayed and the way his feet moved in sync. When you finally thought you had it down you fully performed feeling with all your heart that maybe your dancing could make you friends. While your eyes had closed to focus on the right steps your parents watched as your dancing opened up the Earth and swallowed the boy and his family whole. You remember people being so angry at you screaming and spitting in your face; you didn’t know what they were saying but it didn’t matter. There was an initial fuss against letting you live until enemies of your parents started being killed by lightning and tornadoes; soon everyone was respecting you. You still remembered the hot air pushing on your face as if all you could do was cry. You remembered the only coherent thought you could grasp onto: ‘make it stop please.’ You were feeling this again and you wanted it to be over.
“Think about it,” he moved closer to your cowering form ”everywhere you go you’ll either be a living wave of destruction.” He peered into your own eyes, daring you to deny it. “Or you’ll just end up hurting someone by accident.”
He grabbed your hands and he pointed his forehead to you sadly frowning before continuing on,” Besides as a demon slayer it isn’t morally right to let you live on amongst humans.”
“What-what do you mean?”
“I mean that you are a demon.”
“No I’m not and wouldn’t the sun be a problem for me?”
“Nope because you're a special kind of demon..one that Muzan is looking for.”
“No way! Then why am I staying here”
“Yes but I-I couldn’t bring myself to hurt you bec-” He was blushing now nearly matching his hair “because I love you.”
You were surprised beyond comparison. You were a demon!? And your first real friend is in love with you?! If he saved my life then I owe him my life, right?
You hugged him,” I love you too Tanjiro!”
He smiled into your shoulder, you smiled to yourself since you could feel just how happy he was and you felt just as good in return.
He smiled with success. You fell for it!
And just like that the true nature of everyone’s favorite cinnamon roll has come to light
How does a Yandere Tanjiro react to the Destructive Dancing Reader
Well he deludes his (Y/n) to believe all the overly possessive and obsessive things he does is normal
Your lack of knowledge about the world works for him to shape and warp your ideals of the world to fit his plan for you
He’s going to protect you by putting you away from the world he immerses himself in everyday
He loves your purity and your dedication to him as the only person you really have (other than Nezuko)
Knowing your safe from Muzan and anyone else who plans to use you or having a general sense of your safety
If Miss Tamayo or the Hashira comes snooping around he’ll send you message to warn you about the disguised demons that are trying to capture you
What kind of yanderes do you think the Italies would be? And who do you think they would go after?
North Italy would be a clingy type of Yandere and nearly emotionally dependent. His yandere nature is easily masked by his cheerful and silly behavior, but he’s adult jealous and he would take drastic decisions to eliminate anyone that dares to interfere the romance between him and his darling.
Who he would go after…? That’s a good question. I would probably say Germany (Romantic) because they have lots of interaction in the anime and I love their dynamic. Because Germany wouldn’t be aware of his friend’s yandere tendencies it would be more easy for Veneziano to actually win his love (I’m a GerIta shipper so yes). If we say platonic, probably Japan or Hungary cause I also think their dynamic is interesting.
South Italy is also a clingy type, but he tries to pretend he isn’t a easily jealous freak, if his darling just stares at another country his insides would be bubbling in rage. But it doesn’t mean hr can’t be a sweetheart only to his darling.
Now, for who he would go after? That’s a tough question because I actually don’t ship Romano so much with pretty much anyone. But platonically I would say Spain or Belgium.
Yandere Pepa x reader x Julieta
(Requested by someone from ao3 )
—----------------------------------------------------------------------
Julieta and Pepa are all for sharing a darling, even if they sometimes want alone time with their darling.
Julieta is sweet compared to Pepa as you need to be there to calm Pepa down whenever she has a cloud and there have been accidents where as you tried to calm her down something startled her and lightning hit you.
That's when Julieta comes in and gives you arepa in order to make you feel better and heal you in case the lightning gave you some internal or external damage
Julieta likes it when you try to help out in the kitchen by helping her cut ingredients because even though you can’t do anything else as she has to cook it in order for her magic to work she appreciates that you are trying to make it easier for you.
Pepa and Julieta tend to not be as possessive or obsessive if you start to play pretend, Help them with everyday task, calling them a loving nickname like “Mi amore” or Mi vida”
That does not mean you can do everything you want, whenever you leave Casita you are either with Julieta or Pepa and don’t think about escaping because the weather that will come from it will make it impossible to survive on your own.
They will make you dependable on them, it just depends how dependable they make you based off of your personality and how you play house/pretend
If you are extroverted and pretend that everything is sunshine and rainbows (sometimes literally when you look at Pepa) they won’t make you that dependable.
but if you are introverted and shy…. Oh boy you will not be in control of anything other than your thoughts, they will make you wear the clothes they want you to wear and make you depend on them for everything, say goodbye to your freedom if that's the case.
These sisters are a terrifying force together and alone so no one will try to help you, but Bruno will try and keep you company here and there. Maybe even give an excuse for his sister's behavior while you are talking.
The two sisters don’t mind that the last of the triplets is talking to you because that is their brother, it is good that you are becoming friends and talking to each other, they don’t know what they would do if their triplet did not like their shared darling.
Hey , I do not know if the orders are open, but if they are, I can request a Mastermind Rantaro x A reader (female preference) who is military but does not care about the fact that Rantaro is Mastermind because there I do worse things XD, I hope that is not annoying, have a good day / night
Mastermind Rantaro Amami x Military Reader
(The reader is a female here but there aren't any specific pronouns mentioned, so this could be interpreted as gender neutral)
In the beginning, he asked you out with the intention of using your talent for his own benefits
But ended up developing feelings for you
He actually loves you a lot
So you can imagine the complete and utter TERROR he felt when he decided it was time to tell you the truth
Oh, little did he know...
Finding out he was the mastermind wasn't really a shock to you
He came to you with the fear that you would be disgusted or afraid of him, but you really didn't care that much
"Hun, I've done WAY worse things as a former soldier of the military. A killing game is next to nothing compared to what I've done."
This got him curious like, damn what did you do-
Nevertheless, he's overjoyed!
Nervously confesses that he wanted to use you at first-
If you hate your classmates or just don't care, you're all for helping him out!
You'll help with killing people off or helping
If not, he'll reluctantly allow you to remain friends with your classmates, as long as you meet with him at night
He'll keep you alive, but he can't say the same for your classmates-
A.N This is purely based off of headcanon, as we do not know much about Celestia and the Unknown God. Please take this ‘lore’ with a grain of salt.
Title: || Better in Their Hands ||
Word count: 572
Warning(s): Yandere cult stuff, kidnapping
--
Celestia floated above even the clouds, looking out to the world. All one would have to do was to avert their eyes to the heavens, and surely, in the distance, you would be able to see it. It was so close, literally within your sights, yet it still felt like there was an infinity in between. So who could have guessed that the hoarse voice of one person could reach there?
Your breathing was uneven, you were probably losing more oxygen than you were breathing in. Yet what could you do? Throat dry and cracked, only a few whimpers came painfully from your mouth, barely able to form sentences. “Some… One… Please...”
“There they are! Get them!” No. Please no.
“There’s nowhere to run! Surrender now!”
“Stop...” Your eyes began to water as the Knights drew closer. Diluc was right when he said that the Knights were not the ‘protectors’ they claimed to be, even if you feared that he would try to deal with you, personally. How could anyone point their weapons at a defenseless person like you? You didn’t even know what you did wrong, for god’s sake.
“Someone… Please save me.”
And that was all they needed to hear. Behind you, the sound of crackling thunder was heard and a voice called out. “Enough.”
A crack formed mid air, as if someone was breaking time and space itself. The split opened up, allowing that person to appear through it. This was starting to look a little too familiar.
White hair, gold eyes, that voice. There was no mistaking it. You knew this person. And the Honorary Knight knew her, too.
Stepping - or, rather, floating - in front of you, she summoned her signature dark cubes. “The arrogation of mankind ends now.”
And she was not alone. Also from the portal they created, came a falcon, before it transformed into another beautiful woman. Flaming red hair, red eyes, dark skin. You remembered they called her Vanessa, the one who ascended to Celestia and became the hero of Mondstat.
The Knights didn’t stand a chance. How could they have? These two women were gods, higher than even the Archons. realizing they would only lose, they gave up, tossing their weapons aside.
Seeing no reason to stay any longer, the two gods began to leave, but not before taking you with them. But not before giving the mortals a rather wrathful look.
--
Celestia was beyond anything you could have imagined. It was truly a place worthy of the divine. Yet it was quiet, cold and seemingly unwelcoming. “Are you alright?” You heard Vanessa ask. You couldn’t say anything, still shaken from everything that had happened up until now. What could they want with you? Were they going to punish you themselves?
“You’re hurt.” The ‘Sustainer of Heavenly Principals,’ as she referred to herself said coldly, looking at the woulds you had sustained. “How dare those humans do this to you?”
“It is all according to your wishes.” Her gaze was serious and voice was stern. “So, shall we cause another calamity?”
Your breath was caught. Were they really going to sacrifice everything - everyone - if you simply uttered the word? The way they spoke, the things they told, the things they could do… It all made you sick to your stomach. But, then again… They never gave you a reason to believe otherwise. After all...
There really is nothing more inhuman than the divine.
You don’t know what kind of monster you just unleashed ( insert evil laugh )
Ok but how would our acolytes react to us apologizing for simply existing begging them to just end us and apologizing even for that and like believing that we should not be alive ( which isn’t true we are all amazing )
And to explain from where I got that idea basically from what I know about physiology (which is not much) when you listen to some things for a long time you begin to believe that and I just love the angst
type of reader: gn!reader, darling!reader, god!reader
zhongli
END YOU? he should be the one ended! he doesn’t deserve a single thing. no no no. why ?? it shatters him that you would think you deserve anything like that. no. take the spear. kill him. do anything but please please. don’t say that again. do anything you want. zhongli would be on his knees trying to make you feel better, key word “trying”. but here we are. it seems like. after that incident, nothing will be normal.
aether
aether was suppose to help people. he almost killed you. and now your begging for him to kill you? no way. he would try to do things that make you happy. validate you. apologizing to you 60 times a day. doing whatever you asked. he just couldn’t bear the thought of hurting you again. he’ll try anything to make you happy. even if it means getting rid of himself. his sister can wait. but you can’t. your the only person that matter right now. nothing else.
venti
venti would be outright sobbing. he’d offer you his favorite harp, his bow, even his life. how could you say that? your incredible, your perfection. he would be apologizing. 26/8 every single day. no matter what. it always gave him a horrible heartache when he thought about the time he hurt you. he always thinks about that. you are the divine one. it was his fault for mistaking you. your being a merciful god by letting him survive, if he was in this situation he’d kill them. so it’s only fair if you do that to him. lets pray you give him mercy. but… thats up to you.
i honestly had a great time writing this!! thank you for your request <3
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Aka Zhongli struggles with finding a proper gift to attach to his birthday letter
A happy late birthday to my fave and also me coping with the stress of farming like crazy despite not having him guaranteed. Itto ily but you weren't supposed to come home twice
___________
One more year had passed.
The former archon sat at his desk, reviewing what he'd written for what seemed to be the hundredth time. It was customary for the people of Teyvat to write to you on their birthdays, and to lay out special offerings along with their letter. Zhongli, ever a man of tradition, had no intentiond of skipping this ritual.
Especially now that he knew his offerings would reach you.
Instead of leaving them out, some people preferred to hand their offerings to the Traveler. While seemingly less formal, this had proven to be a surefire way of getting your attention. The funeral consultant intended to do the exact same. He'd still perform a few rituals that had been long lost to time, but if there was a direct line to you, Zhongli would not make the mistake of ignoring it.
You'd taken the Traveler as your first vessel, exploring the world that had been created for you with eager eyes full of wonder. Shortly after, more followed.
The manner in which you chose who to grace with your aid eluded him - from Mondstadt's knights to battle-hungry Harbingers, from literal children to the Tianquan herself and even the Raiden Shogun, if there was a pattern, he couldn't find it.
Perhaps it wouldn't have granted him so many sleepless nights if he had been among the chosen. At least the most recent addition to the ranks had been a wielder of a Geo Vision - knowing that you did not scorn his element brought the God of Contracts some solace.
Still, he could not deny his wish to feel your presence directly. To have you notice his efforts and choose him, take him in, let him be the one to guide you through the nation he shaped with you in mind, even if just for a fleeting moment. Perhaps you'd enjoy his company enough to want to take him to other nations - he'd seen you do so with others before, after all.
With a sigh and a shake of his head, Zhongli started his letter once again. No, he chided himself. Too demanding. It was not his place to ask you to choose him. The most he could do was subtly insinuate his willingness, inviting you to meet with him, and send you an offering that would catch your attention.
And that was exactly the problem that he had to face once he managed to figure out what to write. What to give to someone who has the literal world within the palm of their hand? What didn't you have that you could possibly want?
Pacing back and forth in his office as a small meteor was flung from one hand to another in a gesture that, were it done by someone else, would almost appear to be a sign of nervousness, Zhongli did his best to come up with an offering that would get your attention.
Mora? Only if he turned to Childe for funds once again, because if mora was the only gift he could offer, sending you anything below a million seemed almost blasphemous. He knew the Traveler (and, by extension, you) had accumulated quite a considerable wealth. Maybe he'd leave that idea in the back burner for a while.
Back burner... Of course! His special dish. You seemed to appreciate the culinary arts, having collected multiple recipes from various nations, and never cooking anything below perfection. His slow-cooked bamboo shoot soup had to be part of the offering. On its own, though, it definitely felt lacking... After all, everyone and their mother laid out a special dish for you as part of the birthday ritual. He was looking for something that would stand out more.
And thus began Zhongli's quest for the perfect gift.
The first step was, of course, to ask those you'd chosen as your vessels. As much as it pained him to ask them for advice in how to worship you properly (he'd done so for years! He'd been your acolyte for eons! If anyone knew the right way to do it it should be him), his pride could take it. Despite being famous for his vast knowledge, Wangsheng's consultant was also known for knowing when to ask for a second opinion, and never shunning the advice of experts.
And if somehow they'd succeeded where he'd failed, then he recognised he had something to learn from them.
Even if it pained him to go to that Harbinger for anything that wasn't mora.
Sighing, he picked up his coat and walked up to Northland Bank.
___________________
Were it his choice, Ajax would have much rather have a meal that didn't require the use of chopsticks, but, since Zhongli had offered to cover the bill, he'd let the consultant choose the menu.
Truth be told, the Harbinger was far more interested in whatever the hell had prompted the former archon man to offer him lunch than in the lunch itself. The two had ended up in far from good terms after the whole gnosis situation (yes, Childe had tried to drown the entirety of Liyue, but Zhongli had lied! After all he'd paid for they'd been through together! And to rub salt in the wound, Signora and the Traveler were in on it too!), and Zhongli never had the habit of paying when Childe was involved. Now aware of the man's ability for ulterior motives, Ajax's curiosity about what could drive the consultant to make such an offer had led him to Liuli Pavillion, where he struggled with the dish in front of him.
Imagine his suprise to see Zhongli asking for help with... choosing an offering for an important ritual.
Old habits really died hard, didn't they?
"So you're not done with your fake funeral thing, huh? What do I have the pleasure of paying for this time?"
That response elicited a light chuckle for the consultant, which had Tartaglia fuming internally. He thought it was funny? The nerve.
"No, no- that was not what I meant at all. The situation is..."
As Zhongli began to explain, Childe's intentions to fight the former archon dulled slightly. For the moment, at least. If the offering was for you, then he'd put aside his grudge and lend a hand... And his wallet.
It was hard to hold back a smug grin when the consultant revealed that he had no idea of what to offer, and had turned to him for advice because Childe had been chosen as a vessel and Zhongli had not.
He could tell the truth - that all he'd done to earn such privilege had been answering your summons when the shooting stars called his name, and that he'd never actually gone overboard with offerings on his birthday, but what was the fun in that?
Sending Zhongli on a wild goose chase to get a rare, exuberant gift would definitely backfire, because what the man lacked in mora he had in time and patience to seek out the best offerings, so whatever he said would have to ensure that the consultant came up with something that had no chance of eventually hurting Childe's wallet.
"Have you tried fighting them weekly?"
Zhongli's expression was absolutely priceless. His cup shattered on the floor, eyes wide, face a mixture of livid and too stunned to speak.
What?
"I'm just saying, mister Zhongli, it worked, and they keep coming back, so..."
The golden-eyed man shook his head dismissively. Even if you did enjoy facing off against the Harbinger, he would not dare raise his spear against you. Besides, the only person who would consider a sparring session an offering would be Childe.
"If you don't like that, maybe give them a weapon." The redhead shrugged. "It has to be handmade though." He added quickly, lest the consultant remembered to ask him to fund yet another spending spree. Normally, he wouldn't mind, seeing as it was for you, but he'd much rather gift it to you directly. Maybe he'd do so the next time you fought him.
As they finished the meal, Zhongli found himself wishing for a second opinion. His birthday was approaching, and he knew it would take him much longer to craft anything close to an acceptable weapon. He would not risk offending you by gifting you a rushed, low-quality item.
Perhaps someone else would have a better idea.
________________
The input of the people of Liyue varied. From Ningguang's claims that you were in desperate need of more furnishing blueprints, to Xiangling's suggestions of pouring all his devotion into cooking the best dish ever, or Ganyu's simple but earnest flower arrangements (the majority of which she ended up munching on, but you seened to like them nonetheless), to Hu Tao straight up offering one of her coupons...
She'd been quite insistent upon it, but Zhongli would have none of it - what if you took it the wrong way and assumed he wished for your demise?
However, it was Hu Tao's idea that, indirectly, told him how he could get the best offering for you. Upon his dismissal, she'd shrugged, and made a comment about handing the coupon to the Traveler the next time they passed through.
The Traveler! Of course! The original vessel would surely know. He just needed to find them, which proved to be an easy task, since the blonde was currently handling some business for Liyue's branch of the Adventurer's Guild.
Perhaps it was his lucky day, for your presence was nowhere near the Traveler at the moment. Normally, he wouldn't classify that as a good thing, but, this way, he'd be able to maintain his offering a surprise... And there was also a small, somewhat selfish part of him that did not want to have to credit someone else for the idea. He was your oldest, most devoted acolyte - it would surely be unbecoming of him to need aid in such a matter...
"Oh! It's mister Zhongli!"
Paimon waved at him with a smile on their face, and soon the Traveler turned as well, pocketing a package Katheryne had handed them earlier.
"Paimon. Traveler. Just who I was hoping to see." The former archon gave both a small wave as he approached. Even without your active presence in the area, it was painfully obvious who had felt your influence for the longest, and your aura lingered most around the light-haired outlander.
"I didn't expect to run into you here." They spoke, tilting their head ever so slightly to the side.
"Yeah... Did something happen? Is one of your old friends acting up again?" While the Traveler had seemed merely surprised, Paimon actually sounded quite concerned. Which made sense. After all, two out of three times Morax had been involved in a quest, they'd ended up having to deal with some ancient evil he'd sealed (poorly, apparently, since they had a tendency to resurface). Zhongli chuckled, but was quick to reassure them, before asking whether the two of them would be alright with continuing to discuss the matter in a more private location.
The Traveler was unsure at first - this seemed like a quest, and an important one at that, judging by how serious Zhongli seemed despite his initial effort to comfort Paimon. Would it not be inconsiderate to begin without you? You seemed to enjoy going on quests, exploring the world that had been shaped for you through them...
"Come on!" Their companion pulled at their hand. "You saw how he was... What if it really is important, huh?"
They weighed their options for a moment. Wait for you, and risk compromising the safety of whatever Zhongli was concerned about, or go along and risk having you missing out on what seemed to be a quest in the making.
Paimon's second tug on their hand seemed to do the trick, and they followed the consultant to his office, where, after he promptly explained the situation, the Traveler sighed in relief. If this was a quest, it was Zhongli's alone, not to mention that it would've been awkward to discuss a surprise gift for you in front of you.
As the god of contracts explained the details of his so-far not very fruitful search for the perfect offering, the blonde outlander rummaged their brain for some piece of information that could aid the man and put a smile on your face once you received the mail... Something you wanted...
Sonething you needed...
"Surprisingly, mister more-money-than-sense is actually not that far off on this one..." Paimon commented. Zhongli did not want to think about the implications of Childe being right. That meant he'd been telling the truth about challenging you regularly, and he wasn't sure whether to be worried about your wellbeing or the Harbinger's. Probably the Harbinger's. "They do like new weapons. Only the good ones, though. Paimon heard them complaining the other day, something about getting a three-star sword again. Whatever that means. So, Paimon thinks it's best to be careful when giving them weapons."
Zhongli hummed shortly in response. So, his assumption that giving you anything below perfection had been correct... If he'd risked crafting anything now, he'd certainly not be able to have something decent by the New Year's, and a sub-par weapon was, apparently, a surefire way to disappoint you.
As he prepared himself to ask if there was anything else he should avoid, the Traveler, who had been deep in thought until that moment, cut him off.
"Primogems."
"Pardon?"
"They like Primogems. They've been obsessed with the things lately. It's always been a habit of theirs, but it's gotten stronger and stronger. If you're looking for a gift that'll put a smile on their Grace's face, those are what I'd bet on."
Primogems...
Zhongli had only heard that word in tales long lost. Crystalline gems beyond the mundane world, filled with the condensed hopes and dreams of universes that once were.
Yes, that definitely sounded like something a being such as you would appreciate.
The only problem was, he himself had never seen one, much less know where they were found. Primogems were not born of the earth, rendering his geo powers useless in their regard - were your wishes concerning any other precious stone, he would arrange for you to receive a lifetime supply of them, crafted by yours truly, but in this case...
"Interesting. Thank you, Paimon, Traveler... Before you go, one more thing - where would one be able to acquire one of those gems?"
The blonde almost laughed.
"Please tell me you're not planning on offering... One primogem, right?"
Oh.
You needed more than that.
By the look on the Traveler's face, you needed a lot more than that, and giving you only one was akin to an insult.
Something told Zhongli that the next week would be the most exhausting he'd had in a long while.
Darling stopped playing genshin [for any reason like school, work or due to the ani. ] but soon the acolytes start panicking and soon mihoyo releases a new event that’s super super easy and has lots of primo people think its mihoyo’’s apology to the players but its actually the characters trying to get darling to play again.
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