this was supposed to be funnier than it actually came out
Xuebing Du
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Andulka

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@nerdwithcake
this was supposed to be funnier than it actually came out
“It’s literally impossible to be a woman.
You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow, we're always doing it wrong?
You have to be thin, but not too thin, and you can never say you wanna be thin. You have to say you wanna be healthy, but also, you have to BE THIN.
You have to have money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass.
You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean.
You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas.
You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk about your kids all the damn time.
You have to be a career woman, but also, always be looking out for other people.
You have to answer for men's bad behavior, which is INSANE, but if you point that out, you're accused of complaining!
You're supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to be a part of the sisterhood, but ALWAYS STAND OUT and ALWAYS BE GRATEFUL. But never forget that the system is rigged, so find a way to acknowledge that but ALSO, always be grateful!
You have to never get old. Never be rude. Never show off. Never be selfish. Never fall down. Never fail. Never show fear. Never get OUT OF LINE. It's too hard! It's too contradictory, and nobody gives you a medal or says 'thank you!' And it turns out, in fact, that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also, everything is your fault.
I'm just so tired of watching myself, and every single other woman tie herself into knots, so that people will like us.
And if all of that, is also true for a doll just representing a woman, then I don't even know." -Gloria the barbie movie
this is it. this is exactly it oh my god.
i switched to firefox this shit is ass sorry
all good. kill yourself though
OH MY GAMMIT THEY HIT THE PENTAGON
hey...the morbius box office flop got me thinking about how I flopped on you and how much I want there to B Mor Us. hope you're doing ok
WTF i just saw joe biden changing the gas prices in my town he ran into the forest but i snapped a photo of him before he disappeared into the brush
“you have mental illness” actually i don’t, those are just unfortunate side effects from using the powers from my amulet to often. such power deranges a man.
Friend of mine linked a 5.5 hour long Youtube video picking apart the entirety of Nickelodeon's 2010 series Victorious. And we all independently went "lmao hey what the fuck who would watch a 5.5 HOUR long video on Victorious"
and we all independently went on to watch the 5.5 hour long video on Victorious.
Bopping Friday night with me and the girls exchanging Ariana Grande lore over the discord.
We're ALL watching the 5.5 hour long Victorious video on this Bopping Friday night.
We are ALL watching the Victorious video
- Jean-Jacques Rousseau (1755), Discourse on the Origin of Inequality
Butch Hartman is the Elon Musk of cartoonists
Reviews are in.
i hope i don’t have to fight my evil shadow self today
hey
no fucking way
Reblog to poop instantly