[nessalong]

Husfriend

Big guy, fat ass, cool car; fast, fast, fast. Look alike, like a lot; drink, drank, drunk. Hold hands, let go, cute couple; yeah we know. Kiss, kiss, fuck, fuck; roll over cry. Work out, eat less, new shoes; dead inside. Loveless, love less, lifeless, live less; sleep in different rooms. Goodnight.

[nessalong]

9/5/15

“he thinks this is for him.

but this is for the tattoos on her skin,

for all the things that will be with her longer

than I was invited.

for all the times i was tangled in her hair

(hairs that were never his).

this is for the times he kissed me,

when my eyes are always closed.

for times times I said her name,

when it wasn’t what he expected to hear.

we will always be the way she held me,

in a way he never did.

the way they wear the same cologne,

yet smelt totally different.

they ask me what kind of things I write,

I don’t know what to say...”

[nessalong]

7/23/15

"I Often Awake To Their Heat And Forget Who Is Next To Me."

[nessalong]

06/22/15

“We are in a painting That cannot be touched. We are at the top of a bridge Looking down, wondering, Will it hurt? We are in a boat that cannot sink, And it is sinking. I’m scared to wash off his kiss, What if I’m dreaming? I am walking through neighborhoods That I have never been to. We know about the south, But this is marriage.”

[nessalong]

04/17/15

“This is for her.

 This is for her hair,

The ones on her head,

And the ones I find

Between the mattress and the springs.

This is her book of poetry.

Tell her to name it after herself.

Tell her to name it after the times

We went swimming

Completely naked and fully clothed.

To name it after the times

The water consumed her whole.

After the times that even the water was thirsty

For her.

 Tell me she won’t forget me.

 She was always too much,

Or I was never enough.

Tell her that when people say,

God will never give you more than you can handle,

That that was never written in the Bible.

Tell her I’m sorry.

I’m sorry that all of us are born feeling

Feeling like life is too much,

And yet still not enough.

Tell them they were right.

Tell them to jump.

Tell them no matter how tightly

They sew themselves into their sheets,

The whispers will leak,

Everyone you love will leave.

This is for her,

This is my offering.

Tell her to give my sister

Everything.

I’m finally free.

My own mind is done

Attacking me.

Tell her I’m no longer terrified

In the morning,

That I’m no longer sitting on

Broken glass.

Please tell her

She was always a spectrum of colors

Others couldn’t see.

Make sure she knows

I am better than my mother.

At least I am leaving

A note.

 I’m finally finally free.”

[nessalong]

02/04/15

"I Still Remember The First Time I Saw Her; And The Second, And The Third."

[nessalong]

02/02/15

"I Watch Her Sleep And It Is So Beautiful It Is Almost Violent."

[nessalong]

01/28/15

"Her Hand Catches Her Smile. Her Eye Catches Mine."

[nessalong]

01/24/15

"Her Hair Spills Over My Neck Like Warm Water. I Could Drink Her."

[nessalong]

01/23/15

"I Push Her Hair Behind Her Ears, And Kiss Her Like Punctuation."

[nessalong]

01/22/15

"I want to be the hand on her covered smile. Her eyelashes curl up at me and every time she blinks, they're waving. She says she doesn't want to hurt me, but it could never be any other way."

[nessalong]

01/21/15

"I Keep Tripping Over Her Dead Hairs, It's Their Room Now."

[nessalong]

01/20/15

"She Is A Tall Glass Of Water. She Is In All My Nightmares."

[nessalong]

01/19/15

"Today Her Name Is No Longer My Password. It Should Have Always Been My Own.”

[nessalong]

01/18/15

"They Tell Me To Let Go Of The Feelings But The Feelings Won't Let Go Of Me."

[nessalong]

01/17/15

"She always whispers Through the window to you, and It is as if rain."

[nessalong]

01/17/15

"Her Hair Is In A Still Pile On My Floor, Stringy Parts Wrapped Around Her Neck. They Tell Me To Let Go Of Her, But They Don’t Understand How Desperately She Must Be Dead.”