VODKA // 𝙏𝙊𝙉𝙄𝘾 !

[neurologst-blog]

if you would like my new blog ! please heart this and i’ll message you the link ! keep in mind, there will be no drama involved so if you cannot keep that promise, don’t heart this.

[neurologst-blog]

if you would like my new blog ! please heart this and i’ll message you the link ! keep in mind, there will be no drama involved so if you cannot keep that promise, don’t heart this.

[neurologst-blog]

if you would like my new blog ! please heart this and i’ll message you the link ! keep in mind, there will be no drama involved so if you cannot keep that promise, don’t heart this.

[neurologst-blog]

i would kill for some url suggestions. nothing too long ! also if you want my new discord, like this and i’ll message you !

[neurologst-blog]

might make a private account,, and a new discord, go by an alias —- i just want a fresh start .

[rpmemediary]

How well do I portray my muse? On anon or not, give me your thoughts!

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LIKE FOR A ONE LINER . specify muse if you’re a multi .

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honestly,, if you see this i finally learned sort of how to work my queue, and i’m not feeling great, so i don’t know how much i’ll be around. my negative thoughts have been swirling and i just ?? don’t want to be associated with the rpc rn.

[neurologst-blog]

storiescrafted‌:

it’s difficult,  in a way kathleen isn’t too familiar with,  to read amelia’s face.  at least,  it’s difficult to read while attempting to hold back any sort of judgement  —  it’s almost second nature to just brush her youngest sister off,  to try and blame every moment of erratic or….  seemingly insane behavior on certain habits.  so,  honestly,  it’s a little surprising when amelia steps aside to let her in  —  and kate’s more than a little stiff in her movements as she crosses the threshold.  there’s already palpable tension in the air,  and she can admit that she hasn’t been the best sister  —  she’s sucked at being there for amelia,  because at some point?  it’d just become too much,  between work,  and her marriage,  and raising her own family.  still,  it’s hard not to feel a little guilty.  arms cross as she absently glances around the home,  suddenly finding it difficult to make eye contact as she does.   “amelia,  can you really blame any of us?  you….  you pushed us all away from the time you were a teenager.  you treated us terribly.  you treated mom terribly.  and you kept us all at arms length  —  were we really supposed to be the ones who kept trying when you did nothing but insist that you didn’t want us around?”   head bows,  slowly shaking back and forth as she crosses her arms.   “it just reached a point where it hurt too much to try.  and i get now that it wasn’t your fault  —  with that tumor you had  —  and maybe i should’ve tried to mend bridges before now.  that’s on me.  but you know what?  dad’s dead,  and derek’s dead,  and it sucks to say  —  but who knows how much time mom has left?  i guess it just dawned on me that life’s too short to harbor resentment over things that feel so petty now,  and i hoped you might feel the same,”  

hands move to her cardigan pockets and she inhales sharply, she knows that she hurt her sister, her whole family but she was embarrassed. she felt guilty, her mother had been a widow for years by the time that amelia had started using but that didn’t mean she was over the loss of her husband, and the brunette had known that she made it worse. so she’d pushed them away until she needed them and when they didn’t come? she was heart broken, didn’t understand how they could just abandoned her. now though, that she was helping a recovering addict, living with her, she learned that what she’d done had been terrible, and that she’d been ashamed. but still, even after betty and leo had gone back home, she hadn’t been able to reach out, hadn’t been able to face any of them until now. until she was forced. “can you really blame me?” she fires back, hands pressed to her legs to create a pressure to keep herself grounded. “do you know what it’s like to be so stuck in your own head because of drugs that you don’t even know who you are? when i got clean this last time? i was so ashamed, i went to rehab really thought about what i was going to everyone, and i decided that i couldn’t face any of you.” she inhales a breath, steps further away from her sister as if that’ll create a barrier around herself. “it wasn’t the tumour, that was my own choice.” stomach twists, stomach turns and she doesn’t meet the others gaze. “i’m not harbouring any kind of resentment, but i don’t know what you want from me. i’m not about to jump in feet first. i’m not that stupid.”

[bafy-usy-deactivated20251128]

[neurologst-blog]

“Why haven’t you told anyone?”

        ‘ what would i say? ’ tired eyes open and then shut, what else can she do when the light is causing her blinding headache to be worse ? after everything that she’s gone though the past few months, she can’t help but not care, finding herself not interested in the drama of telling everyone about this . ‘ does, hey guys ... the giant tumours back and this time it’s not so benign. ’ a breath and the doctor turned onto her side, numb to the feelings now, no tears, no nothing. ‘ are you done? can’t you just leave me alone? ’

@airplanecrushed / meme !

[neurologst-blog]

‘ did you get any sleep last night? ’

        had she really nodded off standing up? shaking her head from sleepiness and glancing at the other woman, the doctor blinked for a moment.  “no, i mean.. yes.. i don’t know.” there’d been too much running through her mind the night before. betty had almost died. she’d almost died and with her parents back and taking her? amelia would never get the chance to tell her how much she loved her, how lucky that she was to have the teenager and her son for even a short time. “i guess not, i just.. couldn’t.”

@mcmachine || memes . 

[neurologst-blog]

“Sometimes I feel like I’ll never have it together.”

              hands press to the glass she was holding and amelia shook her head. “you will. you’ve got it more together than i do.. i mean.. it looks like you do, on the surface at least.” finally though, the brunette shrugged taking a sip of water onto her tongue. “that’s what matters, face it until you make it, dude.”

@doctcrisms / memes !

[rpmemestm]

LATE NIGHT SENTENCE STARTERS

‘  just kiss me.  ‘ ‘  please..  ‘ ‘  i need you.  ‘ ‘  don’t make me say it.  ‘ ‘  you’re shaking.  ‘ ‘  i’m shaking.  ‘ ‘  touch me.  ‘ ‘  i need to feel you.  ‘ ‘  you’re so beautiful/handsome..  ‘ ‘  don’t leave.  ‘ ‘  i don’t deserve you.  ‘ ‘  you should go..  ‘ ‘  i just need to feel something.  ‘ ‘  let me in..  ‘

[neurologst-blog]

i have 003 replies and 004 memes . i’m tired and i happen not to feel well though, so i’m calling it a night. sorry if i didn’t get to you. i’ll try tomorrow.

[neurologst-blog]

femalesarestrxngashell‌:

           “amelia,” the teen copied back in a sassier tone than the legal guardian had stated her own name in. the other was well-intentioned, but who was she to spew advice? owen had accidentally told her about the other’s relapses a few times too many, and as much as betty trusted her, she also recognized that they would eventually become addict buddies succumbed to their fate of drugs and booze. the teen managed to remove the bag from the grip of the older, strapping it onto her back quicker than she could remove it from her possession again. “i just need to go for a walk to clear my head. i don’t know if i’ll be back tonight. if i end up relapsing just, take care of leo, okay?” 

           “it’s past curfew,” amelia huffed, trying to ignore the burning of her eyes. god damn it,  how she’d gotten so attached to this kid who wasn’t even hers was beyond her but here she was. standing up, the doctor shook her head. sure, she had made her own mistakes but they were just that mistakes and she wanted to stop betty from making them too. stepping in front of her, she did her best to block the bedroom door, arms crossed against her chest. “no! that’s enough, i’m not going to let you go out on the streets alone. if you want to go for a walk, we’ll go together,” it wasn’t smart but she didn’t know what else to do. either let the kid relapse and possibly overdose and blame herself forever, or go with her to the drugs. “do you really want me to crash the party? ‘cause if you leave this house i won’t hesitate to follow you. you aren’t a disappointment or whatever you think. let’s just sit and talk about it, something is wrong so TALK. ”

[neurologst-blog]

femalesarestrxngashell‌:

“i don’t understand why they didn’t get punished for vandalizing my locker,” she huffs in response, crossing her arms in defiance as she continues to walk towards the car. having three days off from school will supposedly give her time to think about her actions, but really, lennon will ruminate more about her parent’s deaths and find someway to accidentally annoy amelia in the process of it. it seemed to be their typical routine as they transitioned from best aunt ever to legal guardian status. however, rather than put up a fight she wouldn’t win, she complied in getting into the car, buckling her seatbelt, and shutting the door loudly. the cross of the arms quickly regained stance, needing to throw her frustrated energy into something productive. “and i barely even punched the ringleader of the group. it was a soft connect with her cheek. i easily could’ve done more damage if i had gone for the nose. i understand detention, but a three day suspension? it just doesn’t make sense, amy.” an angry sigh comes from somewhere within her soul, wearing the badge of rebellious teen oh so well. “it’s like they don’t want my grieving energy in that school, so they’ll get rid of me anyway they can. they’re no better than mr. clarke for shooting my mom and dad.” 

she’s holding her tongue, even if she’s never been the best at that. inside, she frustrated, and worried and everything else that a guardian can be because she knows that things are hard, but she figures that they should be getting better by now. “they probably are, you don’t know everything.” pressing the start button, she quickly does up her seatbelt, not giving the girl a single glance as she pulls out of the parking spot. guess the next three days would be spent working at home which was annoying as well. it takes a few minutes to get to the first red light, and then she does give her a look, a single glare. those mom eyes she’d automatically acquired when she’d given birth to christopher. “for god sake! it doesn’t matter how hard you hit her, lennon! you still hit her!  your school has a no violence policy. it makes perfect damn sense!” teeth clench as the light turns green, fingers tapping on the steering wheel to calm her mood but it doesn’t really help. she can’t help the way her eyes roll, a shake of her head following. all signs of an irritated guardian. “don’t start with that, you know that isn’t true. gary clarke shot up a whole entire hospital, killed multiple people, mentally scarred multiple people. they are better than him, and they aren’t trying to get rid of you.” eyes burn at just the thought of the man who terrorized the whole hospital only weeks before. “just be quiet until we’re home.”