Pinned post time, to lay a few ground rules. Hello, I'm Astarion (sometimes called Starion or Star, it depends on the day), he/him, an adult, blah blah.
I am not my source. I am not a 1:1 carbon copy of Astarion From The Video Game. You don't know why I formed, what I 'remember', how I feel about my source. You don't know how I feel about Cazador (though I'm about to tell you) or anything else that happened. I'd appreciate it if you didn't make assumptions.
I'd also appreciate it if you didn't shit-talk Cazador to my face. Again, you do not know me or how I remember him. My source memories are complicated, full of deviations, and my feelings about Cazador are complex. If you're uncomfortable with an Astarion fictive not hating him, and even actively missing him despite the abuse I remember suffering at his hands, this isn't the blog for you.
I am an alter in a DID system. My source memories did not happen, are not real: they're an analogy that my brain made up to help me cope with the very real trauma I did experience. You do not know the emotional significance to me, or lack thereof, of anything that happened in-source, because my memories don't match up with the game.
That said, I'm not always going to add the caveat of "btw I know this didn't really happen" when I'm talking about my memories. I'd like to express myself however I want here.
Just in general, don't fucking LARP at me unless we're friends. I'm not Astarion the video game character, I'm an alter. A real person. If you want to know how I remember something or how I feel about it, ask, don't assume. Joking around and chatting about this kind of thing with friends is fine, but not strangers.
I'm always happy to chat with other BG3 fictives, including Cazadors, provided you understand that this isn't some kind of 'past life' thing to me and I'm not going to have 'memories' of you specifically. Whoever I do remember from my source, they don't exist outside of my own head. I wish they did, but alas.
