We met at a bar near UST. Didn't really click. He wasn't talking at all. He was the person I didn't expect would have a great impact on my life. Do you guys believe in fate? Because when I met him, I suddenly did. I believe we don't just meet a person for no reason or by accident. Yes, I didn't really like him at first but this guy was persistent and thoughtful. When I'm interested on a certain thing, he would try it out himself.
I guess that's why we lasted longer than I expected. We are super compatible. And I think that's more important than chemistry. We both have a thing for games. We both try each other's interests and turns out that we like it. Different kind of games. Zelda. Pokemon. God of War. League. Mobile Legends. And when I say compatible, we both have the same preferences in almost everything. Especially dates. Usually I get bored with routines. But with him, anywhere is fine. Staying on bed all day, going to the mall, travelling far to meet his family (which is super nice btw). I feel safe around him.
My family also loves him. They think of him as family too. When we're going out or planning on a trip, my family would've already invited him. Even on Christmas, my mom would prepare gifts for him. Heck, even my dad trusts him. I can't even get my dad's trust but he managed to do so.
I love this guy. I love Hwanjo.
But there's this tiny bit of issue, my trust issues. And his lies, temper and checking out other girls. We broke up the first time because of that. We broke up for 1 month. Dec, 2019. He had a grand gesture of giving me a ps4 at my home, in front of my mom. And he's just so overwhelmed that he thought it would make everything okay. I appreciate it. I appreciate him. But I also wanted to talk. Fix things. He didn't say sorry. He didn't talk to me about it. Nothing.... :(
Kind of became distant after that. I don't think he noticed but I kind of just stopped being jealous, got tired of it. March 2020 comes the lockdown. My love language is quality time and touch. Imagine if on my part I wanted to talk about the issue and we got lesser time. I grew distant. But I didn't let go. I still loved him.
I still wanted him to try. But he didn't. He just let me go. It fucking hurts. Am I just trash to u? It hurt my self esteem, I questioned my self worth. But even after all that, I still want what's best for him.
He deserves all the love and happiness in the world. I'm grateful for all the years I cherished with him.
I prayed hard for him to be happy, even if it's not with me anymore....
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