Stories of a first time GM

So a good friend of mine decided to start up a new D&D 5e campaign, and GM for his first time ever after only being a player for about 1 session in another. This is the log of that campaign and it's moments. Cast of characters: invaderwolfey as Mosely psychokarl as Karl beyondcynical as Dryoca sea-lion-senpai as Nyx cragewraith as Kel-Zhog

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Here we have our friendly neighborhood party abandoning rouge-y person, Nyx

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Nyx: I would like to mist step through the slits in the wooden door to the right, and lock it fron the inside.

Karl: are you serious?? Again??

Gm: there are people having sex in the room, the freak out and accidently KO themselves.

Literally everyone: *Facepalm*

Nyx: i run to the upper floor, open the window, and back up.

Karl: ...i take a step back

Nyx: I jump from the second story window and drop assassinate the girl.

Everyone: *facepalm*

Gm: ....you realize you could have just talked to them... right?

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Nyx's Party Ditching Count

As of the 3rd Session, Nyx has ditched the party a grand total of 4 times.

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Nyx's Perspective: Volume 3

After my best attempts to abandon Kel-Zahg and our pixie tag along, Karl, mosley and I reconviened with them. Kel-Zahg proceeded to eat the priest, and we found slave children in the basement. We saved most of them, save for the one Mosley impaled. The escapees set the church ablaze, and we had to rescue the rest from the burning building.

We then rested for the evening in a local inn, finding an asssortment of knick knacks in the lost and found. Morning came without issue and we set out to find Zeke’s camp, our only direction being that is was near the DeCamp family estate. When we departed, we were one man short. Kel-Zahg was missing. We decided to move on without him. Well, i did at least. I went ahead and waited for the other to arrive. Soon we found ourselves looking for someone who might be able to give us more intel. We did, a creepy alley dweller gave us the information after we bribed him to do so. Karl punched him for some reason, im still not sure why.

He ran off, but just to be certain he wasnt a threat we followed him. He led us to a back alley bar and two of his friends exited. After a brief encounter, one that included me taking a 20ft drop onto one of them, we disposed of our agressors.

Soon night would be upon us again, so we sought shelter in a large estate. I approached the guards agead of the party and told them [REDACTED]. They let us in without qualm. Morning came again, and we set forth to continue our search.

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Eavesdropping 101

KEL-ZAHG: “I want to attempt to listen in on their conversation through the door” DM: “Alright, roll perception” KEL-ZAHG: *Rolls nat 1* DM: “You attempt to place your head against the door, instead you make a loud thump as you slam your ear into it’s ancient wooden surface, luckily the individuals inside brush this off as just the church floor settling as it is known to do so from time to time. You can’t quite make out exactly what they are saying, but you hear what sounds like the beginning of a reproductive act involving Zeke, the priest, and what sounds like a donkey” Mosely: *Walks into church, throws food at KEL-ZAHG* “Hey floaty head thing!” KEL-ZAHG: yells out “Quiet! I’m trying to hear the donkey show!”

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Nyx Perspective: Volume 2

The night went by without conflict, and U awoke the next morning after a nice rest. My initial task was to find Karl and Mosley. They seemed like decent enough people, and seeing as how I don’t have many friends, it seemed like a good idea to have them as traveling companions. Well, that is to say, Karl does. Mosley seems to have some sort of malice towards me, and I don’t know why. Nevertheless they accepted my proposal, and we set off on Mosley’s request to find George the Giant Bat. Unfortunately this made the three of us cross paths with the floating head man again. That wasn’t very nice. We also were greeted by a small fairy creature. Both of which decided it best to tag along with us. Soon a man came sprinting into the camp under some sort of duress. He died abruptly after arrival without any discernable cause. The half kings requested we investigate to repay their hospitality, so we obliged. After a short travel we found our way to the town of Veritas. I don’t like it here. And it wasn’t long before the others had a reason to dislike it too. The town was being plagued by monsters in the night. They would kidnap and kill anyone they found. We encountered some of them briefly, but escaped into a massive church. The man who ran it was very hospitable and took us in for the evening. He simply asked that we sit in for his sermon come morning. The rest agreed, I went on a short walk while it took place. Seems good I did, too. The horrid slaver man, Zeke, who captured us back in Murdahabalahn was there. His brother too. I was scared. I hid and waited for my companions to exit and pleaded with them to leave asap. They agreed.

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Here he is the little shit of a demolitionist, the one who’s been there the whole time and has gone unnoticed (actually noticed but he didn’t notice shit either) 

Dryoca 

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The Nyx Perspective: Session One

So I arrived in this town of Murdahabalahn a short time ago, and it appears my arrival did not go unnoticed. The “authorities” here, that being the thugs that run the village, came searching for me and the other new arrivals. Fearing the worst, a evaded the ruffians by turning to mist and gliding down to the street from the open window. From there I ran as fast as my feet could carry me, and soon found a place to hide in a nearby alley. Weirdly enough, the first person to enter the alley was not a thug, but rather a dilapidated wardrobe. He wore tattered robes, and had a face wrapped in bandages. The thugs came shortly thereafter, which prompted the scraggly looking man to shed his clothing and reveal his true form as nothing but a floating head, which was mostly just eyes and teeth. I watched in horror as he began to eat the thugs alive one at a time. It was nightmarish. When more of the low-lives arrived, I sprung from my location and took a shot at one with my crossbow before sprinting away from them and the beast. A chase ensued, but didn’t last long. I attempted to hide within the crowd, but was blindsided and captured.

 I awoke among the company of two others, a tall man with bird-like features, and a young woman. They had also been captured. It was not long after that before we met our captor. A man who called himself Zeke. He said he planned on selling us into slavery at an auction. I felt the fear course through my veins at the thought of that. Soon we were being marched through the woods to our destination and fates. Mid-way we were attacked by a pack of giant bats, which scared off our escorts on sight. I misted through the cuffs that linked me with the other captives, and they sprinted off still linked together. I picked up a dagger that one of the thugs had dropped upon fleeing, and pursued the other prisoners. Finding them on the ground, after they had fallen, I used the the blade to pick their locks and then helped them to their feet. It was at this point that an explosion of some kind went off behind us. Not the type to to rush headfirst into danger, I chose to move forward rather than investigate. The other two agreed. As we walked, we introduced ourselves. The bird man introduced himself as Karl, while the young lady said her name was Mosley. I gave my name as Nyx, and together we walked.

 By days end the three of us had found our way to a small encampment of halfing refugees of some sort. They welcomed us with open arms, and even threw us a feast. Here I was met with a disturbingly familiar face. The floating head was here, wearing his clothes again. Fearing the consequences of sharing the truth of this beast, I chose to keep my mouth shut. Instead I listened for anything suspicious spoken in the native tongue of our guests. i didn’t trust them. After dinner, I went to the lodging provided to me and slept, but not before I rigged a makeshift alarm in case someone tried to enter in the night.

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When the beholder natch’s on his Animal Handling check and tames a Huge Sized bat.

The bat has been named George.

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The First of Many Follys

GM:So, guys, there's a bunch of thugs trying to find and capture you. They just burst into the inn where you all are, what do you do?

Kel-Zhog: *nonchalantly gorging on everything within sight, and is completely overlooked*

Nyx: *Jumps out the widow, because fuck that noise*

Dryoca: *Is a pixie; Is invisible. Goes unnoticed*

Mosley: *shoots poison gas into their faces, runs, but get captured*

Karl: *Gets critical'd and K.O.'d*

GM: . . . I really needed you guys to get captured for this whole thing to work . . . Shit . . .

Players: Did you really expect us to go willingly????

Gm: Touché

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The First Exchange

Gm: So, Craig, what are you doing?

Craig (Kel-Zhog): I spend 70 of my 120 gold pieces on food at the inn.

Gm: . . . That's a lot of food . . . but okay . . . ?

Kel: *Has already inhaled the gregarious amount of food* I'm still hungry, so I begin eating the barstool

GM: . . . The innkeeper reels in horror as he watches the mouth of this strange man unhinge like a fucking snake, and eat a fucking barstool

Kel: :^)

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How to sum up an event in the first session.