News Muse

Ten years of unique quotes, most on deadline, in the newsroom.

[newsroommuse]

Signs

Craig S. shares photos from his vacation out in the Wild West.

Craig: “Yes! I love the penis sign. I was trying to get it lit.”

Later, talking about composition of the same photo:

“I’m going to try to cut the top off.”

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Fax machine

Screeching of old fax machine near the newsroom.

Ken: “Yeah, sounds like it could use some lube.”

Jen: “Huh?”

Ken: “It’s been moaning all week. Wait, this is being taken out of context.”

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Commerce

Jen: “Dan, can we make a trade?”

Dan L: “What kind of trade?”

Jen: “Your banana for my cookies.”

(Both laugh)

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Short staff solved

Ken: “Luckily,Brady was able to do Miss Reedsburg last night. That didn’t sound right.”

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Objection your Honor

Shannon: “It’s not like I put drugs in MY vagina!”

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A & W coupons

Craig: “I’m going to look at my hot dog (about calories).”

Reporters laugh.

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Wilderness

Craig: “Have you ever gone camping?”

Jen: “Yes, when I was young.”

Craig: “I’m not a camping person. Roughing it, to me, would be staying at a Motel 6.”

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Dessert battles

Craig: “Cake will never be pie. Have you ever had dried out pie?”

Ken: “I have had bad pies.”

Craig: “I like cake. I don’t love it.”

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Meat

Compare and contrast hamburgers from fast food chains:

Jason: “No one goes to White Castle because its good.”

Jen: “Why do they go?”

Jason: “Because it’s two o’clock in the morning and they’re drunk.”

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Odd guy

While editing a story before deadline:

Craig S: “If you read this story this guy is just a whack-a-doodle!”

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Where is the ad?

Overheard advertising sales rep on phone:

“I have a back bottom.”

(Louder)

“I have a back bottom!”

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NFL drafts

Ken: “Peter Konz is a center and snaps to the quarterback Aaron Rodgers.”

Jen: “That sounds like fun. ‘What do you do for a living?’ I snap balls.”

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Make sure

Jason: “Can you find out if Ashley is a man?”

Dan C. calls a sister newspaper to check.

Dan C.: “It’s a man.”

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Numbers

Jen talking to a school district administrator about a referendum question.

Jen: “So, we’re talking about number two?”

(Ken laughs)

Ken: “You’re the one who said it.”

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Oh, boy

Craig S: “Ken, let me know when you’ve got it up.” 

(Laughs)

Ken L: “I was going to say it’s already up.”

(Laughs)

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Fun and games

Ken L: “Wait, what is this playground equipment called?”

Jen: “A teeter-totter.”

Craig S: “Yeah, that’s what they call it.”

Ken L: “But, it’s got two extra teets.”

Jen: “Call it a wacky bridge.” 

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Hot in here

Jen: “What’s the word for brow sweat?”

Ken L: “Brow sweat will be my first documented Google search.”