Sentence starters - The King Dragon skits by Prozd. Edit pronouns, names, etc as necessary!
“Will you relax? I’m trying to find every pinecone, okay?”
“Maybe instead of yelling, ‘Here comes the club!’, you could try using your right hand, or not yelling that.”
🎵 “Yo, I’m King __, I’m the king of the lair, and now that you’re in here, you’re not going anywhere but down on the ground, ‘cause I’m gonna kick your ass. I’m sorry I said ass, I don’t mean to be crass. When I’m not busy killin’ like a villain, I write raps —” 🎵
“So, you’ve finally arrived — what the hell are you wearing?”
“IT’S MY ASS-KICKING OUTFIT, BITCH!”
“What do you mean, ‘one second?’ We’re — we’re in the middle of something here…”
“I don’t care if you found a potion…oh my God.”
“This world is imperfect. If only I could wipe away the impurities and make it as beautiful as me.”
“Is anyone else listening to this…?”
“Yes, it was I! My machinations lay undetected for years, for I am a master of deception!“
“You can’t die! I put my best equipment on you! I dodged a thousand lightning bolts for your final weapon! I level grinded you for hours!”
“It’s a good thing I always carry two guns!”
“HRAAAGH! I think that enemy got the point!”
“Dude, ___’s the best! He’s strong as hell, he’s like, the beast of the party!”
“Little do you know he’ll soon be the deceased of the party!”
*maniacal laughter morphs into sobs*
“I’m glad all of us can be the best of chums, and nothing will ever change that.”
“You thought that was a nice shot? You have no idea.”
“___, your contributions to this party are greatly appreciated.”
“Think nothing of it, ___. This journey has only just begun.”
“Uh…I found all 900 pinecones.”
“You are at FULL HEALTH!”
“Do you have to eat them immediately? And WILL YOU STOP JUMPING???”
“Press X — NOT RIGHT NOW!! When enemies appear!”
“Oh — sorry, I mixed up characters. I thought I was you for a sec.”
“You sold our ENTIRE INVENTORY and bought ONE THOUSAND BOOKS???”
“Is there, like, a walkthrough for this?”
“I need those heart points, man!”
“So, you finally made it, ___. Did you weep when you watched ___ bleed to death?”
“You’ll have to get more than 8000 rainbow gems to beat me!”
“___ is my brother, and he killed everyone in my village, and I will not stop until I get revenge —”
“I’m ___. I fight with a sword, and also, my breasts.”
“My name’s ___. My nunchuck has a knife on it, and also a gun, and I’m very cool.”
“Guys, I think I should be in the party for this one…”
“Do you really need both Bradicus AND Chadicus in your party???”
“My sword has a gun on it. And, I’m very cool.”
“I don’t even know who we’re fighting!”
“Ehh, I don’t need to use any more crystals. I’m pretty happy with what I got. I got normal Archibald, that’s pretty good!”
“There’s one thing you should know. My real name is… ___. That’s — that’s kind of a big deal.”
“So, you finally made it, ___. You chased me all the way to the short hair timeline.”
“All of my friends’ hopes and dreams…their love…their sacrifices. Their power is my power now!”
“Enough talk, boy. The time of reckoning is now.”
“Behold, my ultimate spell…KABOOBLE!”
“Um, actually, that’s not the real name of the spell.”
“And, actually, it doesn’t make sense to use the ka- prefix, because the ka- prefix is for multi-target spells —”
“These are made up words!”
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