Maddie:)

Hi:)

[stolen-innocence]

i met a man online.

he was just like you.

[sickteeth-archive]

090520

[the-unlucky-thirteen]

Growing up neglected can mean you don’t feel like you get to be picky about who gives you attention or what kind of attention you even get, you cling onto anyone who acknowledges your existence and it can end up so painful

[gvccisnakes-deactivated20220108]

[thexfiles]

i want to be soft again but i have so much anger in me 

[volcanicpoetry]

I want to be squeezed so tight I can’t remember what it felt like to not have arms around me & I want it from someone who loves me like a mother loves her baby.

I know, I know, I say it all the time but there’s nothing more painful than being mother-less when you have a mother who is still alive.

I wish my mom knew how to love me right. I wish someone knew how to love me right. I’m floating around the world alone because no one ever taught me how to walk around on land that felt like water. I’m always swimming.

my mom almost drowned as a baby. maybe that’s why she’s so scared all the time. my mom ruined me, that’s one of the reasons I am scared. wish she’d just figure out what was wrong with her so we could all move on.

can we ever move on? is there moving on from a childhood filled with trauma? do you ever forget? I want to forget. I want to forget what happened to me like I forgot the name of my preschool best friend. I want to forget what happened to me like I forget the name of a movie I once loved or my first crush. I want to forget what happened to me like my mother forgets she’s supposed to love me wholeheartedly.

I want someone to hold me. I want someone to pick me up and cradle me like an infant, wrap me in a hospital blanket & rock me til I fall asleep. I want to be a baby.

infancy, han hyland

[wishing-for-deathx]

I guess that is why they all leave me or don’t love me. Because once I open up they see me for the pathetic thing I am. The girl who’s so desperate. So desperate for love but has no love for herself. Someone writhing in self pity. I can only imagine how repulsive that must be.

[porcelaincatfigurine]

"hiraeth" by @ravenousfictions

[sillytinyflower]

I don't want to get better i don't want to get better i don't want to get better i don't want to get better i don't want to get better i don't want to get better i don't want to get better i don't want to get better i don't want to get better i don't want to get better i don't want to get better i don't want to get better i don't want to get better i don't want to get better i don't want to get better

[fairydrowning]

– Sue Zhao

[TEXT ID: I know what you wanted. You wanted someone to save you. / No, I wanted somebody to love me. / I think it's the same. It's the same. END ID]

[virginiewoolf]

Won-pyung Sohn, from Almond.

[dumblr]

"You pushed me away and then blamed me for letting you go.”

[dumblr]

It hurts to walk away from someone you care about, but if they aren't treating you right, i can assure you it hurts more to stay.

[quotemadness]

“You said you didn’t want to lose me but you weren’t even trying to keep me.”

— Unknown

[thoughtkick]

“There comes a day when you realise turning the page is the best feeling in the world, because you realise there’s so much more to the book than the page you were stuck on.”

— Zayn Malik

[thoughtkick]

“I know this transformation is painful, but you’re not falling apart; you’re just falling into something different, with a new capacity to be beautiful.”

— William C. Hannan

[looky--loo-blog]