I’ve known for a while that I have ADHD and anxiety. But for years, I carried around this intense, almost obsessive need to over-explain myself in tense situations, and I saw it as a major personal flaw. I kept thinking I was just being annoying or doing too much. I finally connected the dots to it being apart of my neurodivergence and not getting enough early social support. I process things so quickly that my brain seems to panic and want me to lay out every detail right away to avoid misunderstandings. Since I didn't have early help with social skills, my anxiety led me to develop masking habits. Over-explaining became a some sort of shield that I developed in middle school, a way to over-clarify so I could try to protect myself from being misunderstood or rejected. My anxiety treats small communication gaps like emergencies. Laying everything out on the table feels like my brain's way of trying to stay safe and make sure everyone’s on the same page. But I know this can make others uncomfortable, because my eagerness to over-explain might come across as overwhelming or excessive, which creeps people out or creates frustration in social interactions. That often makes my anxiety worse because I don't really understand what I'm doing wrong most of the time.
Does anyone have any advice for how to deal with this? I can't afford therapy, and I just really want to be comfortable to be around even though I know that I'm not.
I just want to have friends. I don't really have a whole lot.
Everyone just tells me that I need to work on myself and I don't know what that means
