Every other day I wake up and say “im gonna try and live like it’s the 90s today” and every day I end up being on my phone 10000x more than I was the previous day when I did NOT say that
Migraine sufferers will be like "it's not like I'm disabled or anything, it's just that if I do any of these normal everyday things other people do all the time, my head explodes. But I'm fine honestly, as long as I avoid doing anything ever and my environment and the weather never changes, then my head explodes a little less"
PLS I NEED DADDKINKZIER PLEASE WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET THIS PLEASEEEEEEEREEERERRE
lol you don’t have to do anything anon its here!! this also somewhat replies to a different (very funny) ask i got from someone who asked for a post engagement fic so, double trouble going on here! this wasn’t proof read as i finished it right before bed so i’m tired pls give me grace lol
tags: daddykink!hozier, fem!reader, no Y/N, hozier fanfic, smut, NSFW, NSFT, andrew hozier byrne gives cunnilingus
warnings: light dom/sub dynamics, pet names
smut eventually under the cut as per usual, wrote more and gave more storyline than i’d intended to tbh
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How I’m Imagining You
Andrew, your very loving, extremely tender, fiancé had just come home from a short summer leg of his tour.
He wasn’t your fiancé four months ago, which wouldn’t be all that notable, usually. But you’d been together for two years, now, and when you went to drop him off at the airport at the beginning of the summer he seemed off. More upset about leaving than usual, more worked up and huffy. Naturally, you inquired why.
“Andrew, honey,” you’d asked softly, walking him to his terminal. “what’s wrong? Tell me what’s going on. I don’t want to send you off to Argentina all upset.”
Andrew’s jaw twitched, and he put off answering your question until he was about to get on the plane. While you were walking away, he called out your name, like a sirens voice pulling you back in as you automatically turned back towards him.
“I can’t do this,” he’d mumbled, jaw tight, fingers twitching. “Can’t leave you again. Christ, I just…” He huffed out a breath before looking at you, his eyes reflecting a determination you’d never quite seen in him this strongly before.
“Marry me,” he asked quietly.
You choked on air. “What?”
“You heard me. Marry me,” he repeated.
“Andrew, you’re about to go away for like, six months, how could I possibly deal with an engagement right now?!” you’d sputtered.
Andrew let out a noise almost like a whine and looked with panic between the moving line and your face, creased with lines of surprise and confusion. “We don’t have to announce it, we don’t need to let the world know, it can just be… Me and you. Agreeing, let’s get married. When I come home, I’ll have a— a ring for you, whatever you want, you can have a party to celebrate, whatever! But right now, just please, please say yes. I couldn’t imagine going away from you again, knowing that I’m not coming back to something permanent. Not that you aren’t, I love you, but I need an anchor—“
You cut him off quickly with a hard kiss on the lips, clutching his face in your hands, and it said everything you couldn’t quite form on your own.
No need to ramble, no need to explain. I love you. I love us, what we have. Yes. Yes. In a million lives, yes, obviously, yes.
You pulled away and cleared your throat, flushed. “Okay. Okay, yeah, we can be engaged verbally or whatever,” you whispered, a tentatively happy smile forming on your face.
Andrew smiled back and sagged for a moment with relief, nodding. “Thank you, God,” he breathed out, then pressed another kiss to your temple before calling out I love you as he rushed to his gate.
So, now he was back, and you two were engaged, and he was very desperate for you. Because of course he was. He had practically begged you to marry him… And then immediately left.
But he was here with you now, his arms wrapping around your waist from behind as you made yourself a cup of tea after waking up sinfully late (in your eyes, anyway), at 10am.
“Baby…” he grunted into your ear, a semi-hard on already pressing into your lower back.
You couldn’t help but giggle. He’d been ridiculously horny since coming home and you couldn’t blame him. Nor were you going to complain.
“Yes?” you cooed back, teasing.
Andrew groaned with frustration and his head dropped down to the side of your neck, kissing and nipping at the skin there. “Need you,” he mumbled.
“Now, I wonder what needing a whole person could possibly entail…”
Andrew huffed and suddenly, you were picked up, carried bridal style to his (your? The living situation was still slightly unclear.) bedroom.
You squealed and wrapped your hands over the nape of his neck, your fingers interlaced atop his skin. “Andy!”
“Baby!” he replied, grinning down at you, then dropping you down onto the plush fabric covering the mattress.
You laughed at him as he climbed on top of you, kissing you with fervor already, his hand moving up your shirt as if your bare skin was the metal that attracted the magnet of his touch.
You flipped the two of you over, still smiling, giggling, and kissed him back. In between kisses, you reached down to the waistband of his track pants and skimmed your fingers just under the elastic, then pulled away.
You did this once, twice, three times, four, getting slightly lower every time.
Eventually, Andrew decided he couldn’t take it anymore, so he flipped the two of you back over and grabbed your wrists, holding them flat over your head against the mattress. “Christ, you’re teasing me like a fucking… I don’t even know, but it’s gotta stop, baby, please,” he pleaded, face already flushed.
You smirked up at him and bit your lip for a moment before replying. “Oh yeah? What are you gonna do about it?” you challenged.
Andrew’s gaze darkened and he scoffed, leaning down to press kisses to your neck again. In between sucking and nipping, he pulled away to murmur in your ear. “I’ll have to do something, you’re right… Maybe I’ll make you wait. Or I’ll make you come so much you’ll forget your own name. Same coin, two sides.”
A shiver ripped down your spine and you sucked in a breath through your teeth. “Oh?” you challenged. "And what gives you the right to punish me, huh?"
He laughed a little and rolled his eyes, propping himself up above you after releasing his hold on your wrists. “Maybe the fact that you're acting like a child. Bratty kids usually get reprimanded,” he said slowly, the phrase almost a threat.
Your heart thrummed and you grinned up at him. "Oh, yeah? What, does that make you my daddy?"
You'd been joking when you said it, mostly, but his face flushed in a way that told you that you'd discovered something that he'd yet to bring up.
Andrew stuttered and glanced away for a moment, and you could swear you saw his boner get bigger in real time, stupidly fast. "I-- Well, y'know, I didn't say that..." he muttered, and you burst out laughing.
Excitedly, cautiously, you asked, "Oh my gosh, Andy, do you have a daddy kink?"
He grimaced and sighed. "I think it sounds gross sometimes, so I haven't ever brought it up, but..." he trailed off and looked at you with guilt.
You frowned slightly and shook your head immediately. "No! Nothing gross about it! Honestly, I hadn't ever thought much about it before, but if you're into it, I'm down to try anything once."
Andrew perked up quickly at this and raised his brows, a devilish smile slowly spreading across his face. "Yeah? You wanna try, sweetheart?" he drawled.
You giggled a little and nodded, your own grin taking over your face. "Oh, yes I do, daddy."
Andrew huffed and leaned down to capture your lips in a passionate, deep kiss. It was like he was simultaneously establishing the new sense of control and thanking you for allowing him to explore this with you, all in one long press of his lips against your own.
With rapid speed, he was ripping off your pants and pajama shirt, leaving you at the mercy of the brisk air in nothing but the panties you'd worn to bed the previous night.
It would have made you a little huffy if he didn't proceed to tear his own clothing off afterwards, then kneel above you with one knee on either side of your hips, and look over you with what could only be described as pure hunger.
"Fuck, lovey, you are gorgeous..." Andrew breathed, his hands moving up your sides until his thumbs became level with your nipples. His thumbs ran over your pebbled nipples, and you couldn't help but sigh out.
"Yeah? Thank you very much," you breathed out, reveling in the warmth of his hands.
He pinched your nipples hard, suddenly, causing you to yelp out. "Anything else you gotta add to the end of that sentence, sweetheart?" The question was less of a question and more of a second chance to fix the mistake you had made.
"Shit! Um, thank you... Thank you, daddy," you corrected.
Andrew nodded and breathed out happily, leaning over you to give you a peck on the cheek. "Good girl. You're welcome," he muttered in your ear.
He started kissing you again, slowly, passionately, his lips slowly starting to work down your body.
You wrapped your arms around him as he moved his lips downwards, eventually stopping to take one of your nipples into his mouth and suck playfully on it, leaving it bright red and hardened when he pulled away. You whined and pouted at him, drawing a quiet laugh as he nuzzled in between your thighs.
“That’s just cruel.”
“Oh, shush,” he replied, his voice lilting. “There’ll be a million more opportunities for that later. Be good.”
You huffed again but couldn’t help but smile and allow him to continue his nuzzling, and his large hands came up to gently spread your thighs apart.
Andrew moved his body so that he was laying stomach down in between your legs, and he looked up at you from his position. “May I?” he asked quietly, although he was sure he knew your answer.
You nodded quickly and blushed a little, your smile only growing and your hands moving to thread through his hair. “Please,” you replied.
Andrew tutted and his own little smirk grew on his face. “Anything else you need to add onto that, baby?” he asked, the expectant tone from earlier coming back into his voice.
You sighed and laughed a little bit before replying, “Please, daddy. Happy?”
Andrew nodded quickly.
“Oh, very much,” he replied, before diving into you with his mouth, his lips already working to cup your clit and suck softly on it, a hand moving in between your legs. His fingers ran up and down your folds for a few moments, causing him to groan out.
“Jesus, you’re so goddamn good… Barely started and you’re already soaking…” he breathed out, before slipping two lithe fingers into you and gently curving them up.
Your back arched a little, gasping and moaning. He knew your body absurdly well to start with. Exactly what made you come the fastest, hardest, longest. What made you scream out his name or bite down on his shoulder or shake around him. However, today, it seemed, he was on a mission to use that knowledge as much and as well as he possibly could.
“Oh, fuck,” you breathed out, your head pressing into the plush covers beneath you.
Andrew only heard that and worked harder, wanting to hear you scream, but he also wanted to hear you call him what he loved the most. “You like that, princess?” he asked gruffly.
You bit your lip for a few moments as he ran the flat part of his tongue over you, the slightly rough texture driving you insane. “Yes, daddy, fuck yes…”
He let out a noise that you felt sounded strangely like a growl in between your legs, and then continued his ministrations, his fingers curling up against you again and then straightening out, over and over. His lips continued to work over your clit, driving you insane, it seemed.
You continued squirming and moaning out beneath him, breaths escaping you in shakes or whines. For over fifteen minutes this ecstasy went on, his lips and fingers working against you rhythmically, until you were practically begging him don’t stop.
Alas, as you should’ve well known, that was the most incorrect thing to say.
Andrew pulled his hands and his lips away from you and shook his head, a shit eating grin on his long-ish face. “I think I must stop, then,” he said, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “You were being so petulant earlier, why would I let you come yet?”
You huffed and almost screamed with frustration. “But… No, please, daddy, please…”
Andrew moved to loom over you, his lips next to your ear, and he spoke in a low tone, “No. You teased me earlier. If you want to come, you’ll be good for me now, and you’ll show me how you do it yourself.”
Your breath hitched in your throat and you stuttered for a moment, looking at him with a brightly flushed face. “I… But I like it so much better when you do it,” you huffed out.
He shrugged and moved again to kneel lower on the bed, looking over you with his arms crossed. “So? Show me, huh? I want to see what my girl does when I’m away.”
Your cheeks burned, but the idea excited you, somehow. So you clambered over to your nightstand and pulled a vibrator wand out of the drawer. Bright pink and radiating with not only its neon color, but the sin that hung in the air.
You laid back and turned it on, the buzzing noise reflecting the feeling in your head at the moment. Slowly, you ran it over your own body, sucking in a breath through your teeth when it brushed over your nipples, already sensitive from Andrew’s touch.
Down your stomach, over your hip bone, and you pressed it firmly against your clit next. Andrew often preferred to take things more gently, more slowly. But he’d asked to see what you did when he wasn’t around, and this was it.
It was fast and intense and left your back arching and moans exploding from your lips in bursts before it all ended in a snap. You glanced up at him as you held back a whimper, already getting closer and closer to your release, and he looked at you smugly.
“Good girl,” he cooed. “That’s what I wanted to see. You’re so well behaved for your daddy.”
This only brought you closer to an explosive release, and so, he leaned over you and kissed you hard, bringing your free hand up to wrap around his cock.
It was beyond anything you’d experienced, and it made your heart thrum as he jerked his cock through the grasp of your hand.
You gasped into his mouth, and the way your lips spread slightly gave Andrew the opportunity to slide his tongue into your mouth, connecting the two of you.
The soft skin of his cock slid over your finger tips, back and forth, and his lips and tongue worked with yours, and the vibrator was sending sensations through your whole body. It was a plethora of feelings, all because of Andrew, and you couldn’t take it.
Explosively, you came, your back arching, your grip inadvertently tightening around his cock, and suddenly the phrase ‘seeing stars’ made a lot more sense than it ever had before. Your body thrummed with the pleasure of the orgasm, the pleasure crashing over your body like waves against a cliff shore, yet settling over you in a haze of fog.
Andrew grunted into your mouth, and pulled away, placing hard kisses against your neck as his cum spurted over your lower stomach.
And somehow, it was all over just like that. He pushed himself off of you and gently took the hot pink vibrator away and turned it off, and smiled down at you softly.
“Darling, you are fucking… Is delightful an insulting way to describe you?”
You raised a brow and laughed slightly. “I don’t take being described as delightful as an insult, no. For the record, if I’m delightful, then you’re scrumptious.”
Andrew snickered and leaned down to press a kiss to your forehead. “This is why I love you,” he murmured, and proceeded to go get supplies for after care.
You suspected this was not the last time you’d be needing TLC today, but you’d be a liar if you said that bothered you even a little.
so heres the thing. i am actually working very hard on a one shot right now. and i've hit a roadblock im having trouble recovering from. maybe because it's late at night and i havent written properly in over a month but i'm trying i swear
wait wait wait, are you from NJ?? (i say as someone who lives there)
i am not, i am actually from upstate new york but i’m slightly closer to newark than i am to buffalo, manhattan, or boston so i just like the NJ devils lol
Music hasnt always come to me. It's like the soul. You find it as you grow and as you live. Music is like the cruelness of time, always wanting more, never having time. Never being enough. You never find the right chord or timing, not even the lyrics. There will always be someone better, someone who has been at it longer, someone who is a better lyricist.
But you keep going. You keep pushing. You keep loving it. The shows. The writing. The making of it. That's what you love. That's life. You do anything for what you love.
“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted
