I don’t know if you know, but I’ve taken lots of step back; some of the steps were against my will and out of my control. Some of the steps were taken because I had to in response to the currents. I didn’t know that you know, and I don’t have the guts to speak about it to you.
‘You can talk to me anytime, you know?’ I recall you said that to me and I forgot to say thank you. Because how can I talk to you- the inadequate feeling like I’m an imposter and insignificant and you’re a grande thing, a galaxy - kept holding me back.
Because, too, it’s nothing new. It’s still the same old same old, with extended complications. I don’t think this moping shits worth of your time, although if I’m being honest, I kinda did trying to get help from you. I was floating helpless and no grip to begin with. And You are the ground I root for.
You flipped through the book I’ve put at the edge of my desk, and told me, that after I’m done reading that, I have to take real steps. Otherwise it’s just another concept. And it doesn’t bring change. That it’s all fine if it’s just baby step so long I keep on going, keep on moving.
And I smile and nodded and tried my best to keep calm. Inside this chest was a wave started to ripple in slow reassuring pace—the long gone feeling. Momentary, temporary, transient, impermanent, fugitive, short-lived, fleeting.
And I don’t know if you know. Or what you know is in the same size of what I want to let you know. But I’m just glad you spare time to say those words. Kinda remind me of a line from from BoJack Horseman ‘Out to Sea’ episode: “It gets easier… Every day it gets a little easier… But you gotta do it every day — that’s the hard part. But it does get easier.”
Ah well; You’re cherished, did you know that?
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