do you think nezumi was attracted to/in love with shion?
I s2g you nezushi anons aren’t really asking questions but are purposefully baiting me to write lengthy meta for the sake of it, YOU CAN’T FOOL ME
I’m going to be blunt and say that if anyone can go through this series - in any incarnation, the manga, the novels, the anime - if you follow No. 6 from start to finish and don’t come to the conclusion that Nezumi loves Shion more than he knows what to do with, you’re objectively wrong and probably straight.
(I’m using the novels for this analysis, and will mention some events that don’t happen in the anime jsyk)
Shion’s feelings for Nezumi are more immediately obvious, like ‘his crush can be seen from the blackest depths of outer space’ obvious:
Shion gazed into Nezumi’s eyes, and laid his own fingers over the ones that grasped his bicep. He wasn’t clinging out of desperation. He wasn’t giving in to complete reliance. He only wanted to make sure.
This is where my heart is. I was human when my heart was stolen by him, and I was human when I longed to be by his side. And this fact won’t change, no matter what name I give to these feelings.
Shion, of course, is a lot more in tune with his emotions. He immediately accepted that he cared about Nezumi and never tried to pretend otherwise.
But Nezumi is an emotionally constipated childhood trauma survivor with a deep-seated fear of other people and of being emotionally close to other people. Shion is the first person to truly reach out to Nezumi, and Shion is the first person who Nezumi ever reached out to in return. He has no prior experience with genuine unconditional love - save for those first four years of life in the Mao Village, those memories lost to time and to the fire.
He doesn’t know how to process it, so he views Shion as a threat. He’s afraid of Shion because Shion holds power over him, and Shion holds power over him not because Shion loves him, but because Nezumi loves him back. Otherwise, Shion caring about Nezumi would mean nothing to him.
If Shion was some person he had no attachment to, why would he care how Shion felt? Why would he feel threatened by it?
Four years ago, on that stormy night ― yes, on the night he had first met Shion ― No. 6 had been in the midst of a hurricane. He still remembered, ever so vividly, the window flung open as if to invite him in; twelve-year-old Shion as he poked his face out; You’re hurt, aren’t you? I’ll treat your wound’ ― words that he had never expected; the satisfied smile that had spread over Shion’s face the moment he had completed the suture; the sweetness of the cocoa; the delicious taste of the cherry cake; the comfort of the bed; the sound of quiet, slumbering breaths right beside him as he awoke the next morning ― he couldn’t forget any of it, no matter how hard he tried. Even when he tried to discard it, he could never quite bring himself to.
Each and every miraculous occurrence of that night still remained with him as tangible sensations, never fading in the least over the four years until now.
Did people call them memories? A mental record? Or did they call it fate?
It was easy enough to laugh at people, calling them indulgent and weak, when they accepted others unconditionally and tried to save them. Indeed, as a result of taking Nezumi in, Shion had lost almost all of his privileges and fortune.
How much easier things would have been if he was able to dismiss Shion with a condescending laugh, this naive boy, this petri-dish elite who had grown up oblivious to society. But it was too bitter to laugh at and be done with. It was too vivid to forget. And to throw away, it was much too heavy.
Nezumi is used to dealing with admirers of Eve and he has no problem using and disposing of those people, but he risks his own life to rescue Shion from No. 6, he lets Shion sleep with him in his bed, he dances with Shion for no reason other than to dance, he takes a fucking bullet for him. He loves Shion. He can’t force himself to not care, the feelings are too strong to ignore. He loves Shion, he just doesn’t know what to do with the feeling.
Nezumi is a very selfish creature. He has reason to be, it’s what keeps him alive. Nezumi selfishly and viciously clings to life so he can realize his dream of exacting revenge, and once he’s fulfilled this obligation to his dead he can (he believes) finally be free from all the pain in his past.
But Nezumi would rather die than have Shion kill for his sake:
“Shion! Stop―stop, please―” Nezumi pounced on him from behind. “Stop, I’m begging you. Shion.”
“I want you to stay as you are, Shion.”
“The Shion I know would never commit a sin. Never.” Fight it, Nezumi murmured. “I want you to fight with yourself.”
It was a plea. His tone was strained and imploring. Wasn’t this the tone of voice that Nezumi himself despised the most?
It was then that Nezumi was finally able to stand. Blood streamed from his shoulder and leg, but he felt no pain.
He had to stand up. He had to grab Shion’s arm. He had to stop him.
Nezumi values Shion more than he values his own life. And not just Shion’s life - he values Shion as he is as a person, as the boy with the open window in the midst of the storm. It’s not that Nezumi doesn’t value his own life, because he clearly does, he’s motivated by fear and revenge and an unrelenting drive for survival at all costs. But Shion is more important than that, more important even than the revenge Nezumi has lived for for twelve years. If that’s not love, what the hell is?
At the end of the series, Nezumi is given the option to let No. 6 burn. Had he chosen to do nothing, the city he so hated would have fallen - he would have been victorious in his quest for vengeance, he would have achieved the goal he has centered his entire life around.
But in the half of a year that Nezumi and Shion lived together, Shion forced Nezumi to change his entire perception of who he is and how he relates to other people, and Nezumi chooses instead to stand by Shion’s side and plead with Elyurias to spare No. 6
and he believes that Shion will prevent the city from ever becoming a monster again. He’s seen the darkest side of Shion - he’s seen Shion strangling someone, he’s seen Shion kill a man, he’s seen Shion lashing out at him in his grief for Safu - and still he trusts the goodness in his heart.
“Humans are capable of both upholding ideals and succumbing to corruption. There are those who cling onto their power, and there are those who are pushed along by the majority. But there are those who uphold their ideals, live for others, and continue to fight against their own foolishness, deceit, and arrogance. Elyurias, hear our plea. Believe in us, just once more.”
Is that what you wish for yourself, Singer?
Nezumi gave a slight nod.
As one of the Forest People, you will believe in the residents of No. 6?
“I won’t believe the people of No. 6. The only one I believe is him.”
No. 6 was literally spared complete apocalyptic destruction because of how much Nezumi and Shion love each other. What the fuck has YOUR otp done for their city-state?
And even being a dumbass and wandering alone in the wasteland, even as Nezumi is trying (and failing) to distance himself from Shion, his feelings and convictions don’t fade:
“And you also believe in him.”
I do believe in him. Nothing in the world would be worth believing if I couldn’t believe in Shion. I believe in him.
Even alone and miles away from civilization, six months out of No. 6, as he’s trying desperately to tell himself Shion is a person of his past - so Shion can’t affect him anymore, so he can be free from his past and all the hurt there, so Nezumi will stop feeling this - Nezumi is actively thinking about what Shion would want him to do:
Nezumi touched the knife attached to his belt. Maybe if I finish this man off here… if I finish him off, I would nip a bud that would otherwise bring harm to Shion.
His fingers itched. Nezumi clasped his itching fingers.
I’ll never forgive you for harming, much less killing, someone for me.
Nezumi, don’t kill him. Don’t commit a crime for my sake.
Shion was holding his arm back and pleading with him desperately.
That’s right. That’s what you would say. I know you would say that and stop me. You’ve always been, and always will be, a naive do-gooder.
Nezumi and Shion mutually inspire one another to live. In their half a year living together, they rewrite their perceptions of themselves and the world. They alter their reasons for living. They open their eyes and hearts to the world outside of themselves. And they fall in love.
To deny the (gay, romantic) relationship between Nezumi and Shion is to disregard the backbone of the entire narrative, the ultimate driver of the plot, the element that is both the driving conflict and eventually its own resolution. They’re in love. That’s that.
“Like I said before, on that stormy night, you threw open the window and welcomed me in. It was a real miracle. To me, you were more of a miracle than the Forest God ever was. I felt like I was being told to live―to live on, not give up…. If you hadn’t been there, I wouldn’t have been able to survive that night. Shion, you―only you―were the one who saved me. This time, too.”
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dededos
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stormborns
