im actually NOT in love with my sufffering...

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@nicegirlonline
im actually NOT in love with my sufffering...
I feel seen
when I was a undiagnosed ocd art ho undergrad in Gods country 20 years old never had sex never had coffee I wanted nothing more than to live in a row house in like philly with a guy like this, that was the most alien thing I could imagine compared to my current life
we must protect the sanctity of divorce
one of the other perks about living in a slum is the constant construction which results in impossible to locate high frequency humming that comes thru my open window.
well well well relative from hell
literally NO one has you in a time of crisis except for you and maybe ur faith if u got one like sorry YOU will be the one to come up with a solution or at least some way to deal with it and no one else will like it and will offer either criticism or a retarded suggestion. Yes getting my old car jacked by a methhead and my current car getting felony level vandalized by a methhead('s... kid?) and my friends getting murdered was enough to convince me of this like I really don't think I need the lesson taught to me anymore like I think I got it. I got me and that's it like no one will ever ever save me and in FACT most will actively work against me or make me feel more like shit like okay YES LOUD AND CLEAR! duhhhhuhhh got it boss 🫡
also love is not enough lol.
I need to be forced outside when I write shit like this
literally NO one has you in a time of crisis except for you and maybe ur faith if u got one like sorry YOU will be the one to come up with a solution or at least some way to deal with it and no one else will like it and will offer either criticism or a retarded suggestion. Yes getting my old car jacked by a methhead and my current car getting felony level vandalized by a methhead('s... kid?) and my friends getting murdered was enough to convince me of this like I really don't think I need the lesson taught to me anymore like I think I got it. I got me and that's it like no one will ever ever save me and in FACT most will actively work against me or make me feel more like shit like okay YES LOUD AND CLEAR! duhhhhuhhh got it boss 🫡
also love is not enough lol.
my ex is commissioning me to design some stuff for his book launch party and one of the stories in it was inspired by me and that breakup was kind of the reason I cooled off on writing for uhh for a decade and now we're tentative friends no doubt supported somewhat by how much prettier I am than I was at 20. also sometimes I wonder if im the only brown girl he's ever dated and maybe that's why the continual contact. anyway, surface level he is living the life I dreamt of living when I was younger and now I don't know what im doing or what I will be doing and yet here we are again. also we never even fucked I don't think I even looked fully at his **** at any point.
I'm shy of my ability as a EE because I learned about Maxwells equations for like 2 days in one physics class and I hated my stats prof and stopped going to class and he passed me anyway because he already had multiple title 9 cases against him.
few more months and it will be the first year anniversary of when they all died.
Hortensia Mi Kafchin (Romanian, 1986) - Angel in the Server Room (2020/2022)
literally NO one has you in a time of crisis except for you and maybe ur faith if u got one like sorry YOU will be the one to come up with a solution or at least some way to deal with it and no one else will like it and will offer either criticism or a retarded suggestion. Yes getting my old car jacked by a methhead and my current car getting felony level vandalized by a methhead('s... kid?) and my friends getting murdered was enough to convince me of this like I really don't think I need the lesson taught to me anymore like I think I got it. I got me and that's it like no one will ever ever save me and in FACT most will actively work against me or make me feel more like shit like okay YES LOUD AND CLEAR! duhhhhuhhh got it boss 🫡
can someone just make a limited series on tv of my bfs Americana anthology its not just my fat head saying this I think it would really slap and he's covered a niche no one else is writing about- the Death of the Collector.... appletv <3