Chasing
My mother has always told me to play the game. My whole life she’s told me to make them miss you. Don’t let them know that you’re hurting. Make them think you’re better without them.
My mother has wonderful intentions, and all she wants is for her babies to not have to feel any pain. What she says has some merit to it. They’ll come crawling back if you run far enough. But I don’t want someone to have to realize they made a mistake because I spent my week, or month, or year ignoring them.
I don’t want to have to shut my phone off to stop myself from texting someone I care about. I won’t go silent because I think it’ll make someone miss me. Those aren’t the people I should be chasing anyway. I want to make someone happy from the start and I want someone to want me for the person that I am. I don’t want someone to miss me, they shouldn’t have left in the first place.
I don’t want to have to wound someone so they can feel the pain of my own.
I’ll know peace in a relationship when the way I love is reciprocated. It won’t be through ignored phone calls or making sure someone can’t see I’m active on instagram. It’ll be with an open heart and an honest tongue and pure intentions. A game has a loser and that’s not why I’m here.
Take everything I am or leave me in peace. Let’s not play the game.
