driven by fear

Nicola Harlow-Hayes. 33. sister. wife.

[evavalor]

Megan Fox as Mikaela Banes in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)

[aria-hayes]

“Oh shi–shoot, come on Danny. Let’s get you to preschool before your mothers kill me. Come on, little dude.” Aria rushed him out the door and over to her car. Getting in, she got to the school. “Just on time.” She muttered as he got him out. // @secretsummerstarters​

[nicolahhayes]

Nicola was walking by and chuckled when she noticed her sister and Daniel. “Just on time, huh?” She teased, moving over. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell.”

[nicolahhayes]

al-icehayes​:

“Yeah…” She smiled, suddenly feeling like she was back in high school. “Maybe? Her name is Peyton. She’s-… I think she’s Brooke’s cousin or something? I didn’t realise she was a Ford until today.” Alice sighed heavily before pulling Nicola into a hug. She could only imagine how awful she was feeling, but surely she believed Lauren, right? Sometimes she wondered if she should just tell her the truth about what happened with Jack and her, so that it would be more than Lauren’s word against his, but how could she? “I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with all this… There’s no way Lauren would make this up though. Whatever he’s saying will just be to save his own neck.”

“Brooke’s cousin?” Nicola looked over again, trying to pinpoint the girl through the crowd. She was sure she’d seen her around earlier but she couldn’t say she knew her. “What is it with those Ford’s huh?” She asked as she turned back, grinning so it was obvious that she was joking. The whole Jack stuff just... weighed so heavily on her and Nicola was such a mess that she didn’t know what to do. She was starting to wish she had more of a backbone. How had she survived all this time? Well. She knew the damn answer to that. Jack. Fuck sake. “Yeah...” She hugged her sister back and then shrugged lightly. “Y-yeah..” She felt like she wanted to just blurt everything out but could she? “I know.” Lauren wouldn’t do that. “But do you... I mean, do you think it’s... like, she could have been mistaken? Confused?”

[nicolahhayes]

j-ackharlow​:

Jack gently placed a finger under her jaw to lift her eyes up to him again. “And yet I continue to try, Mrs Harlow.” He never did like that she had wanted to hyphenate her name, but it had kept her happy. “Yeah… and too much of it was spent without you.” His smile fell a fraction as his hand dropped to softly hold her hand. “Baby, I don’t want to go into 2021 without fixing us…”

Nicola bit her lip lightly, lifting her gaze back up to him as he put a finger under her chin. She felt her stomach twist at his words as she blinked, doing her best to try and talk to herself inwardly because she really still had no idea what the hell she was supposed to believe but... it was difficult when she was looking right at him and he was saying these things to her. She sighed, closing her eyes briefly. “I... I don’t know what to think, Jack, I just...” She paused, opening her eyes and shrugging. “I don’t either..” She didn’t, right? Or did she? What was she supposed to do or think or feel? Was it fixable?

[nicolahhayes]

j-ackharlow​:

Jack couldn’t help but smirk to himself as he waited for Nicola to return with the drinks. It was almost too easy to place himself back into her life and he would be damned if he was going to lose her. He loved her, of course he did, but how could anyone resist those sisters? Nicola would always be his favourite, but he wanted them all. “11:45.” His smirk swiftly changed to a smile when Nicola returned. “Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?”

Nicola ducked down, hating how he still made her feel because... if it was true... God, she didn’t know how she’d keep it together a second time. Nicola was maybe too dependent but she easily fell right back into it. “Flattery will get you nowhere, Mr. Harlow.” She joked lightly, having a few sips of her wine and looking back over at him. “It’s.. God, it’s crazy how fast this year has gone.”

[nicolahhayes]

@j-ackharlow​​

Nicola knew it was a little risky - inviting Jack round on New Year’s Eve when Alice was out, but she was still feeling all sorts of messed up and confused. About everything. She wondered if she were being naive but was quick to dismiss it, heading back through from the kitchen with some drinks. She handed one over to him, smiling lightly. “Here you go... what time are we on now?” She was trying to be normal but this whole situation was messing with her head. Still, Nicola was certain that nobody would be round tonight of all nights anyway.

[nicolahhayes]

al-icehayes​:

“I- What? Um…” Alice wasn’t usually one to get flustered, but this town had had quite an effect on her, in more ways than one. All of her siblings knew that what Alice wanted more than anything was to fall in love and start a family. They probably knew that she was jealous of them all getting married and having kids, but they also knew that she was a mess that dated all the wrong people that wouldn’t stay longer than a few one night stands. Alice was good at flings. She was good at accepting that people only wanted one thing from her. She was not so good at having actual feelings. “Just… a girl.” The corner of her mouth twitched as her cheeks darkened a little.

“Ugh.” She rolled her eyes upon hearing that Jack still hadn’t given up. If they could just get him out of their lives, maybe Nicola would never need to know what she did. “Honestly, can’t he even give you space for just a second? What did he say?”

“A girl, huh?” Nicola chuckled, watching Alice’s face as she turned her gaze back from across the room. “And do I know this girl?”

Nicola knew she needed to just tell her siblings she met up with him. She’d spent the last weeks coming to terms in her own head with everything that happened, everything she thought about her marriage being a lie... and now she didn’t even know if she could trust her own mind. He was always so, so convincing. Her sister wouldn’t lie... but neither would he... right? After everything they’d been through? What was she supposed to do? “Just... you know... the usual. That it didn’t happen, that he misses me...”

[baddestbitchesglobal]

[nicolahhayes]

al-icehayes​:

Alice had chosen to ignore what had happened with Jackie. If there had to be an interruption to the wedding, then frankly they could all be thankful that it was only someone pining for Lauren. “Yeah, it really is.” For a moment, Alice’s eyes drifted across the room and rested on Peyton, but she snapped out of it pretty quickly. “Hey, how are you doing? Jack isn’t still texting you, is he?”

Nicola watched Alice for a second before turning her head to follow her gaze across the room. “What’re you lookin’ at?” She asked curiously as she scanned the room and then turned back with a little inhale, trying to figure out what to say. “I, uh---” She shrugged. “Not.. not really. I mean he did the other day--” She still hadn’t told anyone she’d met up with him.

[nicolahhayes]

al-icehayes​:

Alice laughed, fixing some of her concealer and turning her attention back to Nicola. Honestly, she was so glad that she had been staying with her. Alice wasn’t sure she would feel safe living by herself in that apartment. “Yeah.” She nodded, brushing off any negative feelings she was having. “Ceremony was just really beautiful, you know?”

Nicola smiled, nodding back at her sister. “Yeah... it really was.” Other than Jackie’s interruption but luckily that seemed to have been quickly forgotten. “It’s pretty great that she found Brooke.” She commented, looking over her shoulder, thoughts briefly drifting to her own wedding.

[amanda--ford]

[ @secretsummerstarters​ ]

“They both look so beautiful…” Amanda mused out loud as she rocked back and forth in her chair soothing a rather fussy Christian. He was not enjoying his little suit. She felt someone touch the back of the chair and she jumped slightly. “Oh, hi… Did I run you over? I am so sorry…” 

[nicolahhayes]

“No, no, don’t worry.” She smiled, looking at the baby and thinking she recognised him. Hadn’t she held him once for another blonde lady? “I was just going to agree, that’s all. They both do look beautiful.” She was very happy for her sister.

[al-icehayes]

“I’m not crying, you’re crying.” Alice shifted her gaze briefly to the person behind her in the mirror before going back to fixing her eye liner. She couldn’t look at anyone for too long without tearing up, but it wasn’t entirely because this was her sister’s wedding. Of course, Alice was insanely happy for Lauren and she was honoured to be one of the bridesmaids, but selfishly, all she could think about was how this was everything she wanted, but didn’t have. She didn’t even have a date- how sad was that? “If you need the mirror, I can scoot over.”

@secretsummerstarters​

[nicolahhayes]

“Stop it, or I actually will...” Nicola joked, reaching up to brush at her eyes despite her words. She moved and put one arm round Alice’s shoulders, peering into the mirror as she did so. “Nope, I think I’m good... you okay?”

[nicolahhayes]

[j-ackharlow]

Jack was at the Coffee Bean early. He was always early. Any time they had been late for any event, whether it was a party or a movie, he always made a point of making Nicola feel bad for causing it. That being said, he was still trying to keep up the pretence that he had done what she asked and had went back to Manchester; he had given her the space she had asked for and he certainly hadn’t been living in a local motel. So he parked a little away, waiting until he saw her enter the café, waited another fifteen minutes, then finally got out of his car. 

Entering the Coffee Bean, Jack looked around for Nicola, immediately jumping into an apology, though not the one she was likely expecting. “Sorry I’m late, Nik. Traffic was a nightmare.” He took his coat off, hanging it over the back of a chair. “Can I get you a coffee? I’ll get you a coffee.” Jack turned to the barista and ordered for them. He knew Nicola’s usual order. She couldn’t possibly want something different.

@nicolahhayes​

[nicolahhayes]

Nicola had been doing her absolute best. Everything had been so hard and gotten so dark... but she was starting to think that maybe, just maybe, she could get through it with her siblings. So why did he have to pop back up now and confuse her so much? Nicola was so anxious that she almost text him to cancel. But she forced herself out the door and made her way to the cafe. She looked around but he wasn’t there yet so she grabbed a table and waited in impatient nervousness until he finally appeared.

“Oh....” Nicola shook her head. “That--that’s fine.” What could she say, right? She watched him, simply nodding when he asked if she wanted a coffee, watching him order. She hated how this felt and she hated how she felt. Maybe she should have told Alice or Lauren she was coming? But she knew they’d have stopped her.

[nicolahhayes]

j-ackharlow​:

Jack: I won’t give up on us. Jack: Nik, they’ve never liked me and you know it. Jack: You grew apart from them and they blame me. This is some twisted attempt to get you back in their lives. Jack [5 minutes later]: Which is insane because I was the one that encouraged you to fix things with them. I never tried to keep you from them, but Lauren must be scared of losing you. Jack: I don’t even blame her. I can only imagine what this town and these cases are doing to her mental health. Jack: Please, baby. I need to see you.

[30 minutes later]

Nicola: Fine. We can talk about it... NIcola: You can’t come here but I can meet you at the Coffee Bean.. Nicola: An hour?

[j-ackharlow]

Text || Nicola 💍💘

Jack: Babe. Jack: Babe, come on. This is crazy. Jack: I love you, please baby. Jack: Talk to me. You’re being lied to, Nik. I could never do this to you, why will you believe her over me. Jack: I need you.

@nicolahhayes

[nicolahhayes]

Nicola: Please just stop. Nicola: I really can’t do this... Nicola: Why would my sister of all people lie to me about something like this??

[baddestbitchesglobal]

Megan Fox