People say you cannot fall out of love. I remember when I first met you. You heard me ranting about Harry Potter on my broadcast and immediately messaged me to say you loved Harry Potter too. We talked for a little, and I found myself losing track of the time. I remember you had to go mow the lawn, and I wondered when I’d speak to you again. I remember the first time I saw you; this time you were the one broadcasting. My screen wasn’t working, and I couldn’t see you, but I could hear you. Your charming Australian accent had me swooning, and then I heard you play guitar. I’m sure my heart stopped. My video started working, and I remember when I first saw you. You were gorgeous. I had never been with someone with blonde hair or light eyes, but suddenly that was all I wanted. I fell for you right then and there. I remember talking for hours and falling asleep on the phone. I remember when you wrote a song for me after just a week of knowing eachother. And I remember when you said you loved me after that one week. I remember how I laughed it off, not ready to face those feelings. I remember falling for you and being terrified and running away. I’m sorry I ran away. Then I remember coming back months later because I missed you, and I remember how you were dating someone. I remember being jealous. I remember how in love you were with me and how you left her to be with me. I remember being with you. I remember talking to you constantly and telling you I loved you for the first time. I loved you. I remember telling everyone about you and skyping you for the entire day on Valentines day. I remember sending eachother pages and pages of letters back and forth. I remember you crocheting me a huge blanket. I remember when you finally bought the plane tickets to come see me. I never saw you. I remember when you finished crocheting that blanket and found a box big enough for it to fit in. I remember when certain things you said started to make me uncomfortable and upset. I remember when I began to feel trapped and confused. I remember feeling terribly, but refusing to acknowledge it. I remember when someone else began to make me smile while you made me nothing but stressed. I remember when I ended things the same day you were going to send me my blanket. I never got that beautiful blanket you worked so hard on. I remember when we didn’t speak for days. I remember when we tried to be friends again but how it only lasted 24 hours. I remember that we don’t speak anymore. But I remember falling in love with you. I remember being in love with you. And I remember falling out of love with you.
I’m so sorry. (via @sinfulessentials)
