⎝ ✣ — 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐃 / 𝐍𝐔𝐌𝐁.

𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒅𝒆𝒏 𝒅𝒚𝒆𝒓 / 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐨𝐰𝐧𝐡𝐪

[nighterrrors]

     𝑠𝑚𝑖𝑡𝘩𝑠, 𝑟𝑜𝑛𝑛𝑖𝑒.

              ‘‘ you really gonna act like that —– northside chick isn’t on your mind ? please , she’s fuckin’ boring. clearly she’s rubbing off on you. ’’ she was bitter , but not because of feelings towards the male , but because holden was her number one & she damn well wanted to be his right back. he was the only one that handled her manic & depressive fits without any effort , & kept her close to his side when the episodes happened. ‘‘ a walk ? how old are you ? fifty ? fuck that shit. ’’ she hissed , but still took hold of the jack that was thrown in her direction. she knew why he didn’t want to go out , alcohol enhanced her episodes & it only took one male to grab hold of her ass cheek or a female to bump into her & spill some of her drink for the blackness to take over. it would be holden cleaning up the mess , & he was clearly doing other things that needed his focus. ‘‘ i want to go dancing. ’’

          ❛  she’s  ...  not  ?  ❜     no matter how much time he spent with ronnie, it was hard to not sometimes fall victim to her odd train of thought, the bewilderment and confusion nearly evident in his dark features. he doesn’t bother rising to her taunts; he didn’t speak about tessa with others, anarchy especially, for a reason. whatever opinion ronnie had of her she could have, the less she knew about his true feelings the better. besides, tessa would likely scold him for defending her regardless.     ❛  i  want  doesn’t  get.  ❜     he looks at her, silence punctuating the air for a moment, his arms moving out ever so slightly with his palms open to her.     ❛  what’s  it  gonna’  be  ?  because  i’m  shaking  with  excitement  at  the  thought  of  staying  and  doing  shitty  work  in  this  shitty  room  for  another  shitty  ten  hours.  ❜     he looked at his watch, tutted quietly, before looking back to her.     ❛  or  you  can  come  with  me  on  an  errand.  anarchy  business  though,  so.  ❜

[nighterrrors]

     𝑡.

              ‘‘ —– stupid , you’re so stupid , ’’ she muttered to herself as she quickly dabbed at the shirt , knowing that there was no turning back from this stain at this point. the beer had seeped into the fabric , incorporating itself into the layers & clinging to her skin underneath. but that didn’t stop her , this was the distraction she needed ; brody couldn’t yell at her from here , she could act oblivious that he wasn’t bitching about her on the other side of the door , & she could pretend that she was cleaning up the mess that was her life instead of the shirt.

               the closing of the door caused the small girl to jump , instantly jumping to defense. ‘‘ brody —– i said i was —- , ’’ but she was cut off by another voice. hands gripped the sink , knuckles almost going white at the grip she had on it as she tried to calm herself down. he was the first & last person she wanted to walk into that bathroom. her heart jumped at the thought that he managed to walk through the whole crowd & follow her to the bathroom , but she didn’t know what to expect from the encounter after the endless fights they’ve had since they finally got back into each others lives. not to mention , if brody had witnessed he other man walk into the bathroom with the door closing , she didn’t want another fight to break loose.

               slowly , she nodded her head , forcing back her tears as she continued to dab at the shirt that was stained beyond repair ( much like her life ). ‘‘ i’m fine. just — a little stain. i can get it out. ’’ she said quietly , forcing herself to focus on her stain & not his face.

          ❛  seems  like  a  pretty  big  stain,  t.  ❜     holden dyer had been many things over the course of his lifetime. a model son, a mama’s boy, a problem child, a teen delinquent, a drug dealer, a fuckin’ slacker who’s too smart to ever do anythin’ about it, as half of his report cards used to say, but one thing he had never been? was stupid. an almost unintelligible intellect had possessed holden ever since he was young, the kind that made his mother smile and his father proud, but the kind that made those exact same eyes fill with fear at the possibilities. he’d discovered santa wasn’t real at four years old, and from then on, life had been a series of dissecting fantasies. picking apart the sentences that seemed too good to be true. the sentences that made him feel a little bit too good.

          he knows tessa. better than he knows himself. and whilst he knew she was likely fed up of his consistent bullshit, fed up of his inability to commit or display an emotion that wasn’t on the wrath spectrum, he knew this particular upset wasn’t his fault. the tears that pricked her honey tinted lenses were not those laced with storms, betrayal, and a horrifying hint of care, they were stemming from something else entirely.     ❛  does  this  have  something  to  do  with  that  guy  ?  ❜

          again, not stupid. he had known tessa would’ve dated, possibly fallen in love with, plenty of other men whilst he had gone. after all, they had never made any declarations, nor did he expect her to believe he was even alive. a nice man would’ve even received holden’s respect, a solid understanding of boundaries was something his mother had taught him well, but something seemed maliciously off.     ❛  tessa.  ❜     he never used her full name, it had always been t from the moment they’d met, but the casual look on his features had morphed into something strange. something entirely unlike him, something so few people were allowed to even glimpse. it was concern.

[nighterrrors]

     𝑡.

              she was bitter , she was upset & she felt nothing less than alone. three things that always caused the young woman to go back to her self-loathing section of her personality , pushing herself into situations that were going to end worse. she didn’t know what she thought was going to happen when she entered the home , knowing very well that the arm that wrapped around her was going to be nothing-less of controlling , but she felt a small sense of warmth being against him. his voice boomed in her ear , his pupils were dilated to prove the cocaine was pushing it’s way through his veins , & the alcohol on his breath was still lingering on her lips from the sloppy kiss she was given moments prior. he was a horrible human , someone that didn’t deserve her love , but with the heartache that continued to rush over tessa , she just wanted to be wanted ; wanted someone to look at her & know that she was the only person in the room that was needed.

               of course , she was being oblivious about holden’s feelings. he did love her , but she couldn’t bring herself to know that he did , not with how cold he had been the few times they had seen each other. she couldn’t continue to put herself in situations that were going to end in her tears. holding onto the red solo cup with loose fingers , she wore a small smile as she socialized with her old friends , friends she cut off when she had finally broken up with brody , someone that took her sweet mind & made her hate every fibre of her being with his simple words.

               she had saw the woman first , her curly hair & fake innocence all over her face , then she saw the face she was hoping to avoid. her loose grip soon turned into a harsher one , the red solo cup crumpling under the pressure & beer splashing against her body & brody’s. ‘‘ you —— fucking dumb bitch , can you do anything right ? i see some things never change, huh ? ’’

              ‘‘ i —– i’m sorry , ’’ she stuttered , quickly putting the cup down before rushing towards the bathroom , keeping the door ajar just enough that if someone actually needed it , she could be told & leave. taking a deep breath , she grabbed a cloth before starting to dab at the beer stains already forming on her white , tight-fitting shirt.

closed starter for @nighterrrors

          like hell was he attending another stupid, rosewick party without some kind of crutch. ever since he’d returned, it had been a cacophony. are you okay? did they hurt you? what was siberia like? that last one, of course, was entirely nonsensical, but at this point weren’t all of their questions? all of their falsified cares and concerns? based upon lies upon lies that he himself had carefully orchestrated.     ❛  get  inside  man.  ❜     he spoke to one of his companions, some of the few friends he’d kept from before his disappearance, as they all moved back in after sharing a generous joint. it wasn’t that he was adverse to drinking, it was that, for once, he’d like to leave an event without someone else’s blood on his shirt, and drinking certainly exacerbated his incredibly neanderthal need to politely sock the nearest guy with a goatee.

          it didn’t take long for that to change. instinctually, as if he had radar implanted at the base of his brain, his dark eyes swivelled to the door just in time to catch her entrance. he truly hadn’t thought she’d be here, let alone be on the arm of... who the fuck was that? ronnie had tapped him lightly, you need a drink? she had innocently asked, but it had been long enough for a short chain of events to occur that the brunet hadn’t even glimpsed. by the time he’d turned back, she was gone from her previous spot, hues catching a flash of her outfit disappearing off into the nearby bathroom. when her companion didn’t react, let alone move, his brow furrowed.

          i’ll  just  check  on  her  and  leave. though that was certainly the weed talking.

          he weaved through the crowds with ease, most of them still fearful of him since high school, and quickly shuffled into the bathroom, knocking the door shut behind him largely by accident due to the space.     ❛  hey.  ❜     he gestured lightly towards her shirt,     ❛  you  okay  ?  ❜

[nighterrrors]

𝑠𝑚𝑖𝑡𝘩𝑠, 𝑟𝑜𝑛𝑛𝑖𝑒.

               turning her head towards the male , she could help but roll her eyes at the look that was on his face. she could feel her whole body wanting to jump up & run around , the electricity rushing through her body. ‘‘ you know what i think ? ’’ she stated , breaking the silence. ‘‘ you’re fucking boring ! ’’ she stated , throwing the pillow towards her best friends face. it was clear that she was on the verge of a manic episode , keeping her inside was probably best for the rest of the population , knowing that if her anger got the best of her , the world would go black within moments. holden wasn’t stupid —- but in this moment , he was boring her , causing her hands to almost shake from the itch of fresh air. ‘‘ you don’t want her to text you , you just want the attention. we both know that if she texts you , you’re going to get all pissy & refuse to text her back & then sit here wanting her to send you another one. so come on ! ’’ getting up , she yanked the blankets off the bed in one swift movement , a smile on her face. ‘‘ we’re going dancing. ’’

closed starter for @nighterrrors​

          ❛  what  ?  ❜     the male replied, moving his head just in time to avoid the projectile, having been lost on his laptop, absorbed in work for anarchy more than anything else.     ❛  i  literally  have  no  clue  what  you’re  talking  about.  ❜     but he begins to close the laptop regardless, ronnie’s manic episode seemed to slowly be rearing its head and the best thing he could do was keep her occupied. he holds up a finger,     ❛  no  dancing,  but  we  can  go  for  a  walk  if  you’re  feeling  a  little  restless.  can’t  be  very  exciting  watching  me  work.  ❜     keep her away from things that could trigger her further, keep her away from places she can spend, but most importantly keep a firm yet appropriately distanced eye on her. he stands, heading to grab his jacket before she can even protest his more mellow idea, throwing her own jacket towards her with a gentle toss.

[nighterrrors]

                    knuckles already substantially bloodied and face practically untouched, holden had known from the second it had begun that someone had spiked the punch. one of a’s little lackeys, he was sure ( of which he was ironically one ), had caused more havoc than necessary. he was perfectly lucid, but that hadn’t stopped an abundance of over-confident men seeing how far they could push their luck with the infamous dyer boy. for once he wasn’t looking for a fight, for once all he wanted to do was find those few precious people who had made his priority list and make sure they were safe.

                    he couldn’t find jas, and that had made him nervous. he knew out of everyone here she would be particularly susceptible to the internal effect lsd could have on your mind. on top of that tessa wasn’t in a ridiculously healthy place either, no thanks to him and her shithead, dead brother to be fair, but she was still suffering nonetheless. 

                    determinedly he pushed his way through the crowd, face, eyes, and stance all indicating to anyone that he had more important things to do than deal with their depraved ramblings and needs. anarchy weren’t important right now. if a had messaged him then and there it would’ve gone ignored. two priorities, and his eyes were trained desperately to spot two familiar brunettes in the throbbing crowds.                    closed starter for @prcstinex​

[nighterrrors]

@prcstinex​     ⟶     𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓, 𝒕.

‘  what  are  you  supposed  to  be,  pal  ?  ’

the unrecognisable voice came from behind him and the male spun to find himself faced with a suitably drunk reveller, mask barely clinging on to their features as they stumbled around, waving their mystery cup high in the air. they repeated their sentence, this time by poking holden squarely in the chest, which he reacted to by promptly shoving the stranger viscerally, satisfied when they hit the floor with a thud, resisting the undeniable urge to spit on them.

❛  a  fucking  adult.  get  a  job.  ❜

he did not like halloween. in fact, he suitably despised it, so it was no shock the dyer boy had once again failed to show up in a costume of any kind despite his previous absence. the unknown male tried to once again stagger to his feet, but holden stared, unphased, part of him looking for a fight,     ❛  i  wouldn’t.  ❜

[nighterrrors]

𝒅𝒚𝒆𝒓, 𝒋𝒂𝒔.

♡       :       @nighterrrors !

    ❛   y’wanna have dinner with me & ash tonight ?  was thinking of cooking for us all.    ❜   at least that way she could focus her energy on something productive, her mind racing rapidly with intrusive thoughts since the arrival of anarchy in town, and now on top of that receiving text messages from a very dead aidens phone. their mother had been particularly smothering of holden since his return, and their father, in his own way had been keeping an eye on them both. but to jasmine it felt as if everyone around her was waiting for her to break, to go off the rails like she usually does in these types of situations. 

                    ❛  you  ?  cook  ?  you  planning  on  us  all  living  to  see  tomorrow  ?  ❜  typical banter filled tone filled the air, one that was roughly an octave higher than holden’s typical one, and he found the tension release from his body slightly as he spoke to his twin. jas, for all her concern and fretting for him, had been one of the few to treat him largely as normal. settling back into life with her and asher was easy, a meal actually sounded considerably enjoyable, but it only stopped the demons for a moment.  ❛  is  mom  invited  ?  ❜  he scrunched up his nose though mainly in jest; he adored his mother, a goddamn mommy’s boy through and through, but she’d been on him like a hawk since his return,  ❛  you  know  she  made  me  piss  with  the  door  open  first  day  back  ?  ❜

[nighterrrors]

𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉 𝒓𝒐𝒘.

    ❛    too much salt.    ❜   he grimaced, face screwing up in disgust at whatever torture his taste-buds had just endured.   ❛    don’t quit your day job.    ❜

                    ❛  did  ...  did  you  just  taste  test  my  fucking  lunch  ?  ❜  he stared on in disbelief, both somewhat shocked and confused that he would have even tried what was in the pot.  ❛  and  you’re  a  shit  critic.  ❜  holden  moved  over,  taking  the  ladle  from  the  elder’s  hand,  ❛  hands  off.  ❜

[nighterrrors]

𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓, 𝒕.

              phone on silent , hoodie pulled over to hide her face & hands stuffed deeply in her pockets , it was the usual stance that tessa had since the funeral. her heart was on a constant loop of skipping beats , stomach gurgling for something , anything to fill it but hesitation from the human was consistent. the guilt was written on her face , the guilt of not answering her phone when aiden’s name had flashed on , guilt for ignoring the feeling in her gut when she got to the specific sentence in her reading ; a sentence that she would remember for the rest of her life. hatred that she thought it wasn’t important , that ronan could handle the situation as it was her night to study , hatred that the one time she put herself first , her brother was found dead not even an hour after the voicemail button flashed on her homescreen.

              slim fingers raised to knock on the bedroom door , heart almost stopping in her chest. she had known for a while , known he was home. it was ronan that finally forced her out of her bed and to walk the few blocks to the dyer household. the household that she had avoided the moment holden’s disappearance took hold of the town. she remembered the moment she ran around town with his photo , praying someone had seen him. once the door opened , she almost gasped. he looked the same —– exactly how she remembered him , unlike her with the bags under her eyes , usually happy eyes filled with sadness & redness from her tears that were uncontrollable these days. ‘‘ i —– meant to come by sooner. ’’ she said quietly , almost unable to recognize her own voice. ‘‘ do you ——– are you still against hugs ? ’’

@nighterrrors

                    it had been so long since holden had seen the ambivalent roads and pathways of rosewick. his own home, largely unchanged since he left, even felt different, not unlike home but not the same either, the subtle change of hue in the walls and the coffee table that was moved two inches to the left being a hint to his conscious that times had changed. with his family finally giving him space to breathe, he took in all the old creaks and groans of the household, mind attempting to resist the dark and desperate clutches he’d been swallowed up by for so long. he thought about aiden, pondered the death of the male who was essentially his brother in law, and wondered if he’d stayed could it have been him instead? they weren’t too different, had never strayed too far from each other’s paths, holden found himself wondering all too often how easy it would’ve been for him to fall victim to aiden’s killer.

                    the door went and he responded with a look of genuine confusion, dark hues looking to the front door thinking whoever was on the other side had simply made a mistake. because of this, he moved towards it with a certain speed, not necessarily fast but not entirely relaxed either, and pulled it open without any of the care he normally would’ve afforded the softened features of the face on the other side.

                   tessa.

                   her image, the veneer of her as a person was a shock to the system. her eyes, ones he’d spent so long trying to avoid the gaze of with his cheeks flush, seemed empty. by instinct he stepped forward, though stopped himself short of grabbing her shoulders like he would’ve done so many years before.  ❛  i  could  ...  probably  make  an  exception.  ❜  he feels his skin warm up as she attempts to make amends for something she didn’t need to make amends for, but hadn’t that always been tessa? apologising for his mistakes? repenting for other people’s sins?

[nighterrrors]

incoming  text     ⟶     fuck off.

Damn H.

Wonder how bad Jasmine’s gonna hate you for disappearing on her. Man, you think you can fool her with that ‘kidnapping’ story, you got another thing coming bitch. I own you, and unless you want baby sister finding out that kidnapping was all fake just to avoid a DEBT, you’re going to do what I say. How about you get some C4 and you wait for the next set of instructions. Keep your mouth shut too bitch, because you drag anyone else into this?? You’ll never see your family again.

-A

he’d known this was coming. whoever this ‘a’ was, whatever hand they’d had in his safe return to rosewick, holden had known from day one they were nothing good. they knew what buttons to press, what priorities he’d placed in his life, and worst of all they knew all about jas. all about his family. he would’ve been lying if he said he’d reacted badly to the message, as if he clutched his chest in agony, as if a breath had hitched in his throat, but he felt nothing. a strange numbness to the situation at hand. he’d done some dire things, performed some unspeakable acts, this was simply another to add to the list.

[nighterrrors]

@dixtrich​     ⟶     𝒅𝒊𝒆𝒕𝒓𝒊𝒄𝒉, 𝒃𝒍𝒂𝒌𝒆.

❛  hello  ?  ❜  the newfound anarchy hideout was particularly large, though what else did he expect from a band of kids with too much money? it made him feel strange, almost exposed, being out in this much open space after so long. his time at home had been fraught, full of unending questions with answers he’d provided after careful rehearsal, and it’d been a struggle to even get his parents to allow him to leave. but he was an adult. they couldn’t stop him anymore.

❛  i’m  dropping  some  shit  off  then  heading  back  out.  ❜  he didn’t expect his words to reach anyone in particular, the place seemed pretty dead for the moment, but as he neared the beeps and whistles of his station it made him feel somewhat at ease to make his presence known. some members of anarchy were strange, avoiding startling them was his best course of action.