Randomstuff @nightowlpostsstuff - Tumblr Blog

Please miracles come forth I'm so desperate

I see the pain and grief death causes. So I can't put someone through that. But what about my pain? What about how hard it is to just live?

I.WANT.TO.GO.HOME.

LET ME BE AT HOME ON NEW YEARS. LET ME FLY HOME ON MONDAY

Allah plssss let me be at home this time next week 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

I should just kms at this point

I feel so stupid and useless. Always the dumbest person in any room. And I hate when I say anything that sounds smart because it feels fake because I'm fake. And I'm such a loser. I know an honest person (the kind I hate) would say it to me like it is and tell me ending things would be for the best. I CAN just read but not doing so is a choice i make not studying not doing anything being so useless is MY doing and i should be embarrassed that I'm 24 and I've never had a job have no degree no skills nothing I'm wasting oxygen and space and I sound like a joke. I don't deserve pity because it is my fault. Everything I did led me here. It's hilarious. How can someone be so fckn dumb?????

Can't even die. This fckn sucks. Boooooooooo

LET ME OUT. PLEASE. THIS TIME COME AND SAVE ME. PLEASE. DONT MAKE ME GO. I WANT TO LIVE.

I'll ramble here. I made a whple twitter acc to just say shit but now there are ppl there that are familiar and I don't want to be perceived or whatever so I'll it here. How I'm a loser and a disappointment and I really really really want to yk. But I'm also a coward and hopelessly hopeful so I am here. But there is a flight tomorrow to somewhere i don't want to go and it has a seat with my name on it and I'm praying that I faint before and don't get on it because I think I'll actually end it. I'm so tired man I just wish i was better

The knot in my heart pulls tighter

I send a whisper to God

Hoping

I've been hoping for years

In my yearning for change, I've remained the same

In my praying for a miracle, I've cut my palms bloody by holding on to a thread that seems like it's tied to a tree far away that stopped growing over a century ago

And the roots are rotten

My insides feel rotten

I still am tempted to give in to my sickness

But the darn hope gnaws at my inside

I'm half empty, hoping still to be fixed

Any more leaks, and I'll float away, or maybe I'll sink?

There is no making sense of this

I am torn between laughing at fate or crying till the salt leaves my body

Please God,

Please Come save me

Allah

The only hope I have left is You

I think of all the things I didn't become

And it breaks me

If I was a little braver

Then perhaps I could've tried harder

But my weakness poisons my bloodstream in a way that it is now a part of me I can't escape. It has seeped into my soul and I think.....

I think that if I could just let go for a little bit, maybe five minutes? If I could just....

(I don't know how to poetically describe what I want to say, which is that I want to die) (But only until I'm fixed)

I want to be someone else

Why am I even here

nightowlpostsstuff

Screaming into the void hoping anyone who can help will hear but I NEED A MIRACLE. I don't want to go back to ****** and neeeeeeeeeeeeed smth to happen, break idc just let me have my desires

nightowlpostsstuff

Pleeeeaaseeee ALLAH

Screaming into the void hoping anyone who can help will hear but I NEED A MIRACLE. I don't want to go back to ****** and neeeeeeeeeeeeed smth to happen, break idc just let me have my desires

When does it end

Please when does it change