conversations overheard on the batkid com lines pt 11
Jason: -like i was definitely the nicest kid B had to deal with, like compared to you three freaks-
Dick: you were kinda, yeah. you were very competitive though.
Jason: competitive in the good way though.
Tim: the fuck is the good way?
Jason: like i was- i was competitive about schoolwork and being a good Robin. i just wanted to be a better son than Dick so i pretty much acted like an angel
Dick: it also served to piss me off a lot-,
Jason: -that too, that was also a big motivator, you were annoying and i wanted you to stop coming back home,
Dick: B 100% used that against us by the way.
Jason: the competitiveness?
Dick: yeah, like, do you remember the cold case competitions?
Jason: *gasp* oh my god yes,
Jason: holy shit, so whenever me and Dick argued over something Bruce would bring out an unsolvable cold case and tell us whoever figured out who did it would win whatever argument we were having. just to get us to shut up and go away.
Dick: i was like, twenty years old man. it should not have worked on me as much as it did.
Jason: yeah, no- like i was fully convinced i was gonna solve the JFK assassination at thirteen years old just because you wouldn't let me be player one on the WII.
Tim, still laughing: *incredulous* seriously?!?
Damian: hold on- wait. the JFK assassination? what's that?
Jason: oh my god, again? Damian we have to give you a terrorist attack rundown, this is ridiculous.
Tim: first 9/11, now you don't know about JFK-
Damian: no no, i just... you aren't talking about John Fitzgerald Kennedy, are you?
Tim: well yeah, obviously-,
Dick: so you do know this one-
Damian: that's not a cold case? it was just my uncle
Jason, voice shaky: sorry???
Damian: the American leader, John Fitzgerald Kennedy? my Uncle Dusan assassinated him on my grandfather's orders. he used to regale me with the story of his victory when he'd put me to bed.
Dick: *screeching* EXCUSE ME?!
Tim: Dusan Al Ghul used to put you to bed?
Dick: THAT'S what you're taking from that?!
Damian: yes, on occasions when mother wasn't available but he was.
Jason, faintly: holy fucking shit-
Tim: Talia used to put you to bed...?
Damian: well somebody had to? i don't understand how this is hard for you to grasp Drake, how could i be locked in if there was nobody to take me to my cell at the end of the day?
Dick, still freaking out: what the actual fuck-
Jason: i'm crashing out, i swear to god i'm crashing out-
Tim: -no see THAT makes sense, i thought for a second Talia was actually acting motherly but it's fine it was just a miscommunication-
Damian: is Dusan's kill not publicly known, then?
Dick: PUBLICALLY- no, Damian, literally nobody-
*a pause* *intake of breath*
Dick, whispering: holy shit i solved the cold case.
Jason, incredulous: excuse me?
Jason: WOAH WOAH- NO YOU FUCKING DIDN'T, HOLD ON-
Dick: I'M TELLING BRUCE-!
Jason: I'M TELLING BRUCE, THIS IS MY WIN-
Dick: NOT IF I GET TO HIM FIRST-
Jason: DICK FUCK OFF THIS IS MINE-
Damian: ...they're not coming back are they?
Tim: *sigh* nope. wanna go get cinnamon rolls? i've not got much going on through my route.
Damian: i'll meet you at the usual bakery.