Ramblings and Babbles

Where all my thoughts about the arts and other manifestations collectively go

[niiingqi]

I'm writing this exactly one month after my last post.

I don't know how to keep going. I'm just stuck. It takes so much out of me just to keep me functioning and rational. But I'm still paralyzed.

It hurts to breathe. It's like a solid 8 whenever I feel the pain.

My body is shaking non-stop. Not because I feel cold.

I'm hungry all day, but I also don't have an appetite.

I want and need support, but I'd rather not beg for it. I'll accept what I receive. Though at the end of the day, there's a pain in my heart still. Is this what feeling lonely feels like?

I find it a little sad that my closest people think I'm just okay. That I don't feel tired of living or that maybe I'm struggling at all.

Do people think that I'm strong? That I got no worries at all? When all I want to ever do is lie down in bed and rot.

[niiingqi]

My mental health is taking a plunge again.

I’m actually really scared when this happens. I don’t know why but I am.

I just want to hide in a corner underneath something or somewhere.

Would that be what causes my anxiety? Even as I get so low, I get anxious about being like that. As if I’m not allowed to feel and be this way. Like “how dare she?”

[niiingqi]

I've always wondered what it would be like if I was living in the medieval era.

I know it's not at all pretty and everything I've read is romanticized. And I'm a child of technology. I can't live without it now that it's made everything easier. AND ACCESSIBLE WATER? Shiiit.

But I can't help but wonder anyway.

The faith, determination, KNIGHTS?! Just imagine!

If I had a previous life that lived through that, I'm probably a peasant hahaha! Hopefully, as happy as can a peasant be.

[niiingqi]

Reading stories takes me away from my reality.

[niiingqi]

Buying food from Sonic (with Cherry Limeaide o-freaking-course) is a must now whenever we go to watch anything at Jiffy Lube Live

[niiingqi]

I am saying this as of 07/24/2025

I want to be like Cyndi Lauper when I get older.

She’s currently 72.

I repeat, I want to be like her when I get older.

This woman’s energy and passion at this age is amazing. And she funny as heck too 😆

[niiingqi]

I actually think it’s a bit of a loss to lose the whole Saja Boys. The potential of the boyband! 😆 But really. The potential of having them around (if they’ve been converted back to humans) is huuuuge. The shippings and everything that can be made between the two groups! Well, its useless if there was another set of people to be with the girls. Only applicable if they were end game 🤷🏻‍♀️

On another note, I want Jinu’s ca—- tiger.

[niiingqi]

I’ve been seeing so many Super Junior reels and videos lately. It’s been yeeears since I actually saw new content from them. And I know he’s been active in so many different things the past few years and he’s been flourishing in his career now more than ever but geez Hee-Chul still has my heart 😩😆

[niiingqi]

Catching up to updates today

I've been looking around today to catch up on some manga/manhua/manhwa that I've intentionally ignored. (Due to long update gaps *ehem looking at you Skip Beat*)

And I have thoughts that I want to release.

Enjoy.

Skip Beat! : Bless your heart, your soul, your being to the people who's updating this. It's a little behind on the updates cuz Ch.333 says next chapter was released on Mar 19. It is now July. (This info is more to ease future me and not a spiteful comment against the scantalations whatsover so please don't kill me.) We been here since the beginning and it's been 20yrs. I can keep waiting. THE SLOW BURN IS WORTH THE WAIIIIIIT!

Akatsuki no Yona : WHAT DO YOU MEAN RETURNING IN OCTOBER?

The Villainess Just Wants to Live in Peace! : It's been months. When am I going to see "Watch an ad" to chapter 48? 🥲 IT'S OKAY I CAN KEEP WAITING. I HAVE PATIENCE (kinda).

[niiingqi]

Obligatory First Post!

I've got nothing, really. 😆

But hey! I actually started something. I didn't want to use X or Threads for my random babbling so I created this blog instead.

Hopefully, to whoever happens to come across this space, may they find this interesting, entertaining, brighten their day, etc and more!