That's Just Life @nikinoodle21 - Tumblr Blog

perfectfeelings

hollowboobtheory

it's all fun and games until you take a little too long to swallow your medication and you start tasting it

Things are fucking rough.

why

safitheartist

Power move.

newtgeiszler

one of the most aesthetically beautiful displays of protest i’ve seen

my-cup-of-noodles

Sometimes I feel like I’m detangling my thoughts one noodle at a time. But noodles are slippery. They fall back in the pot. Sometimes they come out all together. It’s hard to grab just one. It takes a lot of time and effort. And on top of that I feel like it’s only one piece of the puzzle.

I like the mountains. It’s the only place where I feel free. Free of commitment, free of responsibility and free of self. I like to run until my legs can’t carry me anymore. No destination. Just lost. But that’s just a fun juxtaposition of how I’m actually feeling. Lost. I kind of feel like stitch when he’s looking at the ugly duckling and says he’s lost. That’s me. Fucking lost. Lost in my own mess. In my own brain. Without a sense of direction. Without a sense of self. I don’t know words. I don’t know to describe feelings. I don’t even know how to fucking communicate. Just entangled. Entangled with my thoughts. My feelings inside that cannot be described with a fucking pen and paper. I’m confused. I’m distraught. And I’m all the words and synonyms to follow.

I like to express myself through music. I don’t possibly think there is another way to show someone how I feel. Like I’ve said before and like I’ll say again, words fail. There’s this song right now. It’s called Johnny run away. I’m really connecting to it right now. And not the way it’s meant to be. The song is about being gay I think. I’m gay or maybe I’m pansexual now I guess. My partner is non-binary so does that make me pansexual? I don’t know. I just am me I guess. Well anyways. I think it’s about running away from that lifestyle because it’s too hard. Hard to deal with all the people in life that are going to give you shit about it. I could’ve connected to it at some point in my life but not now. But the chorus of the song. He is running away. And that’s about all I’m fixated on. I get stuck. Stuck on a sound. Stuck on a lyric. It repeats. It’s almost obsessive. And all I hear in my mind is, “Johnny runaway runaway now Johnny. You get picked on another better run for cover”. I hear it repeat in my head all day except I put my name on there. Runaway runaway. Better go and run for cover. That’s all I hear. Because I just want to runaway. Runaway from it all. Runaway from life, from anything, from myself. I don’t want that destination. I don’t want the ending. I just want the journey. The journey to run. To escape. To find that release. I yearn for peace. But until then, I’m going to keep running.