Warnings: grief, depressed reader, angst, mentions of death, Rick is a bit of a dick, talks of being lonely
Summary: The weeks following Harry’s funeral are brutal and you get put on house arrest (kinda), while a certain someone keeps coming by.
Word Count: 2.5k
Getting back into your daily routine was difficult at the beginning. The weight that has been sitting on your chest each day that you wake up. When the sun shines through the blinds, caressing your face, makes you blink in discomfort from the light being in your eyes. Rolling over, the coldness from Harry’s side hits you immediately. You have been trying to get used to the absence of him but the pain hasn’t started to lessen.
The house is quiet, silence fills your mornings and evenings when you are alone. There is a faint sound of birds chirping outside the windows. You stand in front of the sink, leaning against the counter as you reach for a cup to make coffee in. All of the cups were at a higher shelf when Harry was here because he made your coffee in the mornings. It had been so common for him to make it for you, that you didn’t really know where everything was. Just as the coffee started brewing, a knock at the door woke you from your thoughts. Daryl stood outside on the porch with his hands in his pockets. You walked to the door and cracked it open a bit so you could talk.
“Daryl, what are you doing here?”
“Just checkin’ on ya,” He doesn’t look at you, just staring at the floorboards of the porch. “Ain’t seen ya since…well, in a bit.”
“I’ve just been tired, Daryl.” You smile briefly, a first in weeks.
“Yeah? Well make sure yer sleepin’,” He says, looking around awkwardly. “Ain’t good to be tired, head gets all messy.”
“No, I suppose not.” You chuckle dryly, the sound sounded a bit foreign on your lips. You look him up and down, watching as he shifts his weight from one foot to the other. He stands there as if he doesn’t really belong there. He doesn’t say anything.
“Daryl, why are you really here?” You ask. “Did Maggie send you?”
Daryl looks at you, his ears turning pink. He just shakes his head before turning his back to you, looking out at the road.
“Can’t I just see if yer doin’ okay?” He asks. “Didn’t know that someone had to tell me to see if yer alright.”
“You can, but why?” Daryl has never really been close to you or really anyone outside of his select few. He has barely spoken to you since you left him in the rain at the funeral.
“Can’t a man just check up on ya without makin’ it a big deal?’’
“Well yes, but when have you ever cared?’’
“Don’t,” He says, with a huff. “We got a meetin’ today. Don’t miss it.”
“Daryl,” You whisper softly. “That can’t be why you’re here.”
“Think you know everythin’,” he spits out, words cutting through the air like a knife. “But ya couldn’t be more far off.”
He storms off the porch and leaves you standing there speechless. You didn’t understand what had gotten into him. You stand there, watching him walk away while confusion starts to set into your bones. Going back inside, you drink your coffee before getting ready for the day. The hot sun beamed down on Alexandria and left you in a panting mess. You were taking care of the garden behind your house when you noticed a few people staring.
The stares made you uncomfortable, having eyes on you when there shouldn’t be. You were just gardening, what was with people making a big deal of it? It was a chore that you had been neglecting so today is a good day to take care of it. While pulling on a difficult weed, Maggie and Glenn walked past you.
“Well look who decided to come out of hiding?’’ Glenn joked. “Thought we were gonna have to drag you out.”
“Now Glenn, if she wants to stay inside, it is okay,” Maggie scolds him. “Don’t mind him, he’s just excited to see you.”
“These weeds aren’t gonna pull themselves,” You laugh, dirt flying into the air after the roots finally let go of the soil.
You welcomed the distraction of the couple joking around, but the happiness that they shared was beginning to make the pain in your heart grow again so you went back to pulling the weeds.
“You’re making a good bit of progress,” Maggie says as she steps closer. “Lord knows I gotta get my yard done.”
“Yeah, Daryl was just complaining about the yards looking like a jungle,” Glenn laughs. “Who knew the guy cared about gardening?”
“He doesn't care about gardening,” Maggie says with an eye roll. “He just needed something to complain about.”
The mention of Daryl makes your stomach twist. Your mind flashes back to him standing in front of you with an angry expression before he storms off. You shook your head, not really understanding why you even cared about your earlier interaction.
“Isn’t he always complaining about something in Alexandria?” You sigh, look down at your dirty hands.
“Yeah…but he seemed a bit irritated this morning when he showed up at the armory,” Glenn said. “Don’t know what made him cranky.”
“He came by this morning,” You say, tugging at another weed before wiping the sweat from your brow.
“Why did he come over?’’ Maggie asks.
“He just wanted to let me know about the meeting,” You shrug. You didn’t want to tell them about your argument since it was well known that the two of you were either arguing or trying to piss the other one off.
“He was probably annoyed that he was the one having to tell you about it.”
“He ain’t have to do anything,” You quip at Glenn. “I would have found out when I made my visit to Rick.”
“Whatcha need to make visit for?’’ A voice said.
You turned to find Rick Grimes standing above you with his hands on his hips. His face was a bit red from the heat, sweat dripping down his neck. You wipe your hands on your pants before standing up.
“I was wondering when the next supply run was gonna be,” You say with a calm voice. “I was wanting to tag along.”
“Don’t you think it’s a bit early to join us on a run?” He asks.
“Are those boys going on runs?” You ask, annoyance in your tone.
“That ain’t the point.”
He’s just letting them go? Without any other thought? Was Harry’s death not enough for them to decide that those boys are trustworthy enough to be out in the world again?
“Then what is the point?” you scoff. “You telling me that they get a man killed and nothing happens to them?”
“You ain’t in the right headspace to go out there again,” He says.
“Don’t tell me how I am, Rick.”
“You ain’t going out there,” He says sharply. “End of discussion.”
“So you want me to stand around and grieve, but you let the boys responsible for my husband being gone out there with other people?” You ask, your hand tightening at your side. You could not believe that they would let them out there on a supply run again after what happened to Harry. You feel something stirring inside you while you watch Rick try to come up with an excuse as to why he doesn’t want your help.
“There is a difference between you and them,” he says. “You’re a risk.”
“I wouldn’t have lost my husband if those boys hadn’t been there, Rick!”
“Listen, I can’t risk others’ lives by putting you out there with them,” Rick says, tilting his head. “Especially after losing Harry.”
Your breath hitches as his words ring in your head. Grief, pain, and desperation surge to the surface as you lunge at Rick, but Maggie and Glenn grab you before you could get too close. You start screaming at him, cursing him out for allowing those boys out there, for putting other people in the same danger that Harry was in.
“They’re cowards, Rick!” You shriek. “They shouldn’t have been out there!’’
Rick stood his ground before turning to Maggie and Glenn. He tells them to take you back inside which they nod. Your body flails as you try to get away from their hold.
“They killed him!” You sob, emotions boiling over from the last few weeks. “How can you trust them after that?’’
A crowd of people stopped to watch the scene unfold. You were being held back by Maggie and Glenn while Rick stood there with an uncomfortable expression. You were screaming and crying at him, pleading for him to let you go.
“Rick please,” You beg. “Just let me go, let me go on a run. I can handle it. Please let me do something other than sitting here without him.”
“Get her inside.”
“Come on,” Glenn says as he starts to lead you to the house. “There’s people watching.’’
Rick turns around to no longer look at you. His tone is cold and his shoulders are tense. You watch him start to walk away and you start calling for him again. Maggie and Glenn start talking to you to help calm you down as they lead you into the house.
“Maggie, please,” you beg, hoping that she would release you. “Let me go. Please let me go.”
“I can’t do that,” She says, tears welling up in her eyes.
“Why won’t you let me go?” You scream. You continue trying to break free. “Maggie please.’’
“You aren’t ready for it yet,” She sighs.
Once you were inside the house, you were out of breath. The pair let you go, sitting you down at the kitchen table. They stand there, watching your movements to make sure that you don’t try to make a run for it. Maggie has tears in her eyes and Glenn just stands there with the most pitiful expression.
“He’s letting them out there,” You whisper, voice straining after crying and screaming. “They are going out there.”
“He doesn’t have a choice,” Glenn says. “Losing Harry put us down in numbers for supply runs.”
“Do not blame Harry for this.”
“I’m not blaming him,” he says. “I am terribly sorry that this happened to you, but we really don’t have a choice.”
“If Maggie had been in Harry’s place,” You look up at Glenn and Maggie from your seat. “Those two boys wouldn’t have seen another sunrise and you know it.”
Maggie stares at Glenn before nodding. She agreed with you because she knew that it was true. If she had been in Harry’s situation, Glenn would have lost his mind and those two boys wouldn’t have had a second chance. Especially if it had been Glenn instead of Harry. Maggie stood there thinking how she would have reacted if those boys got Glenn killed.
“She’s not wrong,” Maggie says. “If it had been you instead, I would have put a bullet in their heads before they realised what had happened.”
“I know.”
The three of you spent a long time talking and helping you calm down from your previous emotional state. The night goes smoothly and the three of you end the night laughing so hard that you could barely breathe. It was important that you guys worked everything out because the two of them were the only ones helping you get through the loss of Harry.
Them grabbing you to keep you from hitting Rick felt like a betrayal as well as them pulling you into the house. They did it, not for Rick or to keep the public from seeing your emotional state, so you wouldn’t do or say something that you would regret. They couldn’t bear to watch you behaving like you had finally snapped. Maggie and Glenn, despite what it seemed, only wanted what was best for you in that moment and it was not hitting Rick Grimes because he had upset you.
Once the couple had left the house, you were left with the hollow feeling of loneliness. The feeling that you get when you’re laughing with friends, smiles and giggles in the atmosphere, but when the fun dies down and you are left alone, the feeling creeps in like it had been waiting patiently for you to be settled in the dark house with just yourself for company. You put the empty cups and bowls from dinner away in the sink. Water runs while you wash the dishes and your mind roams to Harry. You think of his smell, his voice, and all of the things that made him who he was. Just as the warmth of those memories started to seep in, the feeling of dread blossomed in your chest, you realized that you were forgetting what he sounded like or what he smelt like.
A knock at the door drew you out of the dreadful trance you were in. You noticed that the sink had started to overflow so you quickly shut off the water and dried your hands on a towel from the counter. You make your way to the door, wondering who it could have been at this hour of the night. You swear that you hadn’t gotten this many visitors when Harry was still living so it made no sense that your door is constantly being knocked on.
“Coming!’’ You call out before opening the door. There stood Daryl with his fist raised to knock once again. “Oh, hi.”
He looks at you with an emotionless expression and just stands there. You are surprised, two visits in one day was a lot for anyone, especially Daryl. The two of you stand there for a minute in silence, looking over each other with some kind of curiosity.
“Heard ‘bout what happened with Rick,” He says with a bit of a head tilt.
You don’t say anything, too confused to put your thoughts into words. You wonder if he was here to scold you or to tell you that you overreacted or that Rick was only doing what he had to do.
“Ya gonna let me in?” He asks, raising an eyebrow.
“Why are you here?”
“Checkin’ up on ya,” He says while putting his hands in his pockets before looking down at the floorboards. “Wanted to make sure yer alright.”
“Don’t need you checking up on me,” You sigh. “I’m fine.”
“That ain’t what it sounded like earlier.”
“Why do you care?’’ Annoyance fills your tone while Daryl stands before you with a pitiful expression sewn on his face.
“Somebody gots to,” He says before stepping closer to the door. “So are you goin’ to let me inside cause I’m freezing out here.”
You look up at the archer, looking into his blue eyes that appear to be filled with worry and concern. You sigh before moving to the side and opening the door a bit further to allow his larger frame to fit through. You peek your head out far enough to see if anyone was outside and then close the door shut.
Warnings: Angst, mentions of death, depressed reader, funeral, mentions of suicide, lot of hurtful things are said, fear of being alone, drinking
Summary: It has been three day since your husband's death and you finally allow Alexandria to hold a funeral for your husband and you finally break down.
Word Count: 2k
Songs I listened to while writing for effect:
Funeral (Phoebe Bridgers) 2. The Night We Met (Lord Huron) 3. All I Want (Kodaline) 4. From the Dining Table (Harry Styles) 5. Right Where You Left Me (Taylor Swift) 6. loml (Taylor Swift)
You stand before the mirror in your bedroom and fix the sleeves of your dress. You feel a wave of numbness while you put on your shoes before walking to the kitchen. There you sat at the dining table, looking around the dull room that used to be full of light. Outside, there was a group of people gathering to make their way toward the church. You felt a tear slip down your cheek which was quickly wiped away with the back of your hand.
You gather your strength to stand and you slowly walk out onto the porch of your shared home. The sky was cloudy, rain was a possibility, and you felt like it was a reflection of how you have been feeling recently. Harry was your light and now with him gone, there was only darkness available. You looked around the area and saw people struggle to look at you with anything other than remorse. You sighed before walking to the church behind everyone else.
The church was packed with people and you watched people struggle to find a spot to sit. You felt a bit better knowing that Harry was loved and cared about by so many people, but deep down, it doesn’t matter because no amount of people attending his funeral was going to bring your husband back. Father Gabriel started with prayer over the fallen and you sat in the front, trying to keep your composure. You have never been weak in front of the group, always keeping yourself together, and you sure as hell didn’t want to start now.
At the end of the funeral, you asked for a few minutes with the body before it was taken to his final resting place. You waited until everyone was gone before letting the tears fall. You allowed yourself to break down while hugging the body. You laid your head on Harry’s still chest and your tears started to soak through the fabric that he was wrapped in. A part of you had hoped that he would move, that he was playing a joke on you and would start giggling to himself like a child who had tried hiding from their parents in a game. Nothing happened and you felt like this was the end, the end of what felt like your future. You felt a piece of yourself break inside and as you cried, you fell to your knees from the weight of your pain.
“Please don’t leave me,” You whispered as you wept.
No voice returned to answer.
“Who is going to make me coffee in the morning, huh?” You ask, a tearful chuckle escapes. “Or make sure that I have my favorite pair of socks heated up for me when my feet get cold?”
The only sound was the hustle of the trees outside in the wind.
“Harry, what am I supposed to do now?’” You whisper. “How am I supposed to go on?”
After what felt like an eternity of silence, Maggie comes in to let you know that it is time. You looked at her, eyes puffy from tears, and you immediately stood up and wiped your face.
“A little warning next time, Maggie,’’ You try to joke. “Can’t have you seeing me like this.”
“You know you don’t gotta pretend that you are okay,” She says with a comforting smile. “We understand that you’re hurting.”
“I’m okay,” You say, not very convincingly. “My tears ain’t gonna bring him back.”
“I’m here if you need someone to talk to,” She smiles.
“Ain’t needing no pity from you or anyone else in this town.”
You shake your head and turn back to Harry’s body. You feel a shudder creep down your spine when you brush your thumb against his wrist, hoping that you would feel a faint heartbeat that gave any indication that he was just sleeping. He was still, way too still. You had never really paid attention to the stillness of death until it was staring at you now, not allowing you to look away. The breeze made you shiver and you felt Maggie staring at you.
“He didn’t deserve this,” You whisper into the cold air. “Why did it have to be him?’’
“He died saving those boys.’’
“If he had just listened to me, he would still be here.”
“He is a hero,” Maggie says with a pained face.
“Don’t give me any of that ‘hero’ nonsense,” A tint of anger was noticed in your voice. “What he is, is stupid. He done got himself killed for what? Two boys who shouldn’t have been out there in the first place?”
“He saved those boys,” Maggie says softly.
“Is that what he did?’’
“Yes,” she says. “I know that it is hard, but your husband is a hero for those boys.”
“What do you know?” You yell, immediately regretting it.
“I know what you’re going through.”
“Is Glenn the one laying in front of you right now, Maggie?” The words felt like shattered glass as they climbed out of your throat. “Because it sure looks an awful lot like my husband wrapped in that fabric. ”
“That’s not what I meant,” She protests. “I just understand your pain. I’ve lost people to similar circumstances.”
“Maggie, I understand that you are trying to make me feel better,” You start. “But you’re talking like we are in the same boat right now, except yours is still afloat while mine is sinking.”
“Excuse me?”
“You still have people here for you,” You spit the words out like they leave a bad taste in your mouth. “The moment that I bury Harry, I have no one. Your husband is still here, he still comes home to you. Mine will never walk through our door again.”
“I’m still here for you,” Maggie says, tears in her eyes. She was watching her best friend fracture under the pain of losing someone so close and she couldn’t do anything.
“Please…”
The anger and hurt that you felt shattered as you felt drained and heavy as if you had been turned into lead. Your shoulders slump and you feel the hot pain of tears flooding your eyes, blurring your vision.
“I don’t know how to do this, Maggie,” you whisper, voice cracking until it almost didn’t sound like words at all. “I don’t want to do this. I don’t know how to live in a world where he isn’t.”
Maggie makes her way to you completely and pulls you into a hug. Your arms come up slowly, desperate to hold onto the little bit of control you had over your grief, but when Maggie soothes your hair, you collapse into her completely. Your hands clutch onto her frame, desperate to make sure that she wasn’t just going to leave you alone. Alone, that was a new word for you.
The two of you sank onto the dusty church floor and you sobbed violently into her as your pain tore through you, squeezing your lungs until it felt as though there were no air. Your head hurts with how hard you are crying, your vision is almost black with how much everything felt like it was going to kill you. Maggie is silent as she holds you through your pain and does not make any attempt to leave. Your words from before cut her deeply, but she understands the pain was what made you say those things, not that you actually believed them. Or did you? She didn’t know.
“Please, don’t leave me,” You whisper, barely. “Don’t leave me alone. Please, it’s so quiet. It’s so quiet. I don’t like the quiet.”
As the two of you sit on the floor, Maggie tightens her grip, her pulse racing in her chest. She wasn’t just worried about you, she was terrified. You keep whispering about the silence, the fear of abandonment that creeps in when the night goes quiet. It was as if your world had lost its sun once Harry had died. Like you were now only in darkness. Could the pain from before have been the only thing keeping you together? Now that was gone, all that was left was a shell of the woman you used to be.
—
Rick, Glenn, and Daryl carry Harry’s body from the church to his final resting place in the cemetery in the town. Each person from the funeral was gathered around the grave as the three men laid your husband to rest. You watch with Maggie by your side as they begin covering him with soil. You couldn’t tell how much time had passed, but the sky started to pour with rain and people rushed back home to get out of the rain.
Rick comes up to you and pats you on the back. He sees your face and pulls you into a hug. You have to bite your lip to keep yourself from crying as you wrap your arms around him. You noticed that he had a similar cologne to Harry and it brought you a bit of comfort of hugging someone who smelt like your husband. Rick pulls away and gives a small smile before walking away. Maggie tells you that she has to go watch the wall for her guard shift but she will come check on you in a few hours. You nod and let her leave.
The only person left was Daryl who stood beside the grave and watched you. You walk up to him and give him a painful smile. He stands tall, broad, and holds his head high. His hair falls in his face and he doesn’t make any movement to move it away.
“Sorry about yer loss,” He says gruffly. You look at the grave and then him.
“I keep hearing that from everyone,” You whisper quietly. “Not sure if I can keep believing it.’’
“What do ya mean?”
“Everyone tells me that they’re sorry,” You say a bit louder. “Like they feel horrible about what happened. But hearing it over and over, it just starts sounding like something people say when they don’t know what else to say.”
“I ain’t sayin it if I don’t mean it.”
You look up at him, his bright blue eyes already looking at you. You stare at him for a quick minute, looking for any sort of expression of pity. You found none. As the rain came down steadily, the two of you looked at each other without saying any more words. Everything was communicated silently. You make a quick excuse to leave and you rush out of the cemetery, leaving Daryl alone in the rain.
----
You stumble home and open the door to a dark house. You walk to your cabinet and pull out a bottle of whiskey. Not bothering to grab a glass, you walk to the couch in the living room to sit. The whiskey burned your throat as you swallowed, but not nearly as painful as your heart. Sitting in the living room, nursing a bottle of whiskey, you look around at the pictures and basic decorations that littered the room. Pictures of you and Harry smiling together, it was taken on the camera that Glenn found, and you felt a twist in your heart when you looked at it.
The alcohol started to affect you faster than you had expected. You had hoped that it would make the pain go away, hoped that it would make you better. It didn’t. Instead, it just made the pain numb and yet, even though the pain was still there, it wasn’t as bad as before. Harry hadn’t liked drinking, you didn’t either but you kept the bottle just in case of celebration. You let out an unamused chuckle. It was funny that you kept it for celebration, but here you were drinking it because your husband died and you wanted to run away from the pain.
Your vision started to blur as the alcohol numbed your senses. Eventually, you fell asleep with the bottle still in your hand. For the first time since Harry's death, you were able to sleep without crying yourself to sleep. You were just numb.
Chapter Warnings: Character death, Angst, depressed reader, twd themes, mentions of blood, talks of wanting children, suicide, daryl is kind of an asshole
Summary: The group needed to make a simple supply run, only for it to end in tragedy.
Word Count: 3k+
This is a series.
The sun beamed through the slightly open curtains, waking you from the gentle slumber you had been kept throughout the night. Rolling over, your hand reaches out for your husband. Your fingers touch cool sheets and your scrunch your eyebrows in confusion before a waft of coffee flooded your senses. Getting up, you slowly make your way to the kitchen, following the smell. Your husband stood at the counter, looking out the window above the sink, humming to himself. A floorboard creaked when you stepped on it, alerting him to turn to the sound.
“And what are you doing up so early?” He grins while stepping toward you, placing his hands on your hips. You look up at him, eyes filled with adoration as you melt into him.
“It is almost ten o’clock,” You smile and peck his lips. “If I sleep any longer, I will sleep the day away.”
“That does sound tempting.”
“As tempting as it is, Harry, I have work to get done today.” Your smile doesn’t leave and your hands come down to free yourself from his grasp.
“Work shall wait,” He says lowly, picking you up easily and walking to the bedroom. “First, I must make sure my wife is properly rested.”
“Harry!” You giggle and squirm in his grip. Your laughs echo through the house as he carries you to the bed and throws you down. Your back bounces against the mattress and a smile forms wider as Harry climbs onto the mattress to you.
“Hi,” He whispers, hovering over your frame.
“Hi,” You whisper back. Your eyes trace each freckle, every line, and the light splash of blue in his green eyes.
Harry’s eyes flicker down to your lips and back to your eyes. You smile and wrap your arms around his neck, fingers curling in his brown hair. One of his hands that is holding him up comes to rest on your side as Harry dips his head down to place a gentle kiss on your lips. The feeling of his lips against yours made your heart pound and your head fuzzy. You deepen the kiss and his hand then starts to run up your shirt, taking it with him. Harry allows his body to press against yours completely and you feel yourself warming up.
“This isn’t exactly sleeping,” You giggle.
“No, I had other ideas.”
“I much prefer this idea,” You say, pulling him back into a passionate kiss.
—
“You’re awfully happy this morning,” Maggie says with a chuckle. “Harry finally stop snoring?”
You scoff and shake your head. Maggie was one of the only other women who were married in Alexandria so the two of you grew a very close bond with each other. You met the group a little bit after the prison fell and Rick had been very cautious in letting you and your husband join them on the road. You grew close to Maggie and Carol after a while. Glenn absolutely loved Harry, the two of them hit it off very well with their common interests and constantly went around Alexandria working together on whatever it was they could.
“He hasn’t yet, but I know it will happen eventually.”
“Glenn snores so loud, it wakes me in the middle of the night,” Maggie sighs, coming to stand beside you in the watch tower.
You adjust your rifle, looking out over the walls of your home. Harry had been so excited when the group finally made it because he was desperate to live a somewhat normal life again after the horrific things that the two of you had seen. The walls gave comfort for a life of normality. The two of you have been married for three years before the fall so it was a plan to have children before all of the world went to hell. The town of Alexandria gave opportunity to that plan and you thought of it often. The issue with the plan was that you were one of the main people going out of the walls on supply runs and clearing the area around the town. You worried that a child might retreat you back to the confinements of the walls that kept the ones you cared about safe. You wanted children, you knew this, but with the dead still roaming the earth, you can’t help but think about the dangers of starting a family. You would be expected to stay inside and do little things around the town rather than what you can do now.
—
Rick and Daryl were going over the plan for the supply run with all of the spots that might have something useful marked. There were three groups going out and the plan was to meet back at Alexandria in two days unless the spots had nothing to offer. Your group consisted of Daryl, your husband, and two others. The five of you had a small town just 15 miles north of Alexandria and it was going to be a simple run, just collecting food and medicine if available. Nothing should go wrong because you’ve done this a dozen times already.
The journey started off smooth with Daryl on his motorcycle and the rest of you were in a car. Harry had insisted that you guys listened to music, leading to him belting out the lyrics causing the rest of you giggling while he drove. You couldn’t take your eyes off of him, reaching out to take his hand in yours and placing it in your lap.
Reaching the destination, the four of you pile out of the car and approach Daryl who was setting up his crossbow. He started going over the plan and what items were best to look for. Daryl then explained that you were going to be splitting up. Daryl and you were going to take one side of the strip and the other three were going to take the other.
“Listen to me,” you say, getting Harry’s attention. “If you hear anything that doesn’t sound right, please get yourselves out of there.”
“I promise,” he says. “I won’t do anything stupid.”
“We will meet here in about two hours to see if we found anything,” You smile, giving him a kiss on the lips. “I love you.”
“I love you too, baby.”
You and Daryl break off from the group to head to your side of the town and come across a pharmacy that looks promising. Breaking the lock on the door, the two of you go inside. The shelves were mostly stocked with medical supplies given that the store looked untouched. The two of you start grabbing supplies such as pain medication, bandages, medical tape, and other useful things.
“I wonder why no one took anything,” You mention to Daryl who just grunts in response.
“I dunno, but this town seems a bit too quiet,” He says, accent dripping off every word.
“I thought the same thing.”
The two of you go back to silence and head to a different store. The hours passed and the two of you got a good majority of the materials needed which is surprising given how most stores are typically raided by now.
“Daryl, can I ask you a question?”
Daryl just grunts, not saying words. His face had a scowl on it, as it usually does and he kept walking.
“Harry and I have been thinking about having children now that Alexandria is decently secure,” You start.
“Havin’ children?’’ Daryl scoffs, but he doesn’t look at you.
“Yes,” You look down at the road. “I’m just a bit nervous about the whole idea.”
“Why?” He asks. “Ya don’t want ‘em?”
“No,” You rush out. “I just have this feeling that once I have children, I might not be able to do what I am good at anymore.”
You received another grunt and then silence from Daryl. He never really said anything which made the conversation difficult to have. You felt horrible since having children had always been an idea so to have these doubts, you felt like you were betraying Harry in some way.
“Protecting the walls and gathering supplies,” You sigh. “I really want children with Harry. I really do, I’m just scared that everything will change.”
“Why the hell are ya talking to me ‘bout this?” Daryl snaps, rolling his eyes. “I ain’t Harry and I ain’t the one yer wantin’ children with so go bother the man ya call yer husband.”
“I just needed someone to talk to about this,” You say, putting your head down. Tears wanted to well up in your eyes, Daryl’s harsh words had cut harshly. You saw him as a friend, even if the hunter never really said anything or spent time around you.
“Well I ain’t the person ya should be talkin’ to.”
“I just figured you would understand.”
“Why would I understand?’’ He asks. “I ain’t wantin’ the damn kids and I ain’t yer husband so I dunno how to help ya with that kind of thang.”
“You don’t gotta be an asshole about it,” You snap. “I just wanted someone to listen to me.”
“Find someone else who cares,” He grunts before adjusting his crossbow and walking ahead of you.
“You’re such an ass–” You get cut off by the sound of a gun shot which is followed by a scream.
Your blood immediately turns cold and your feet start moving before you realize what is happening. The sounds of walkers start to flood your ears and it sends a chill down your spine. Approaching the grocery store that your husband’s group is in, you see a group of walkers coming from every direction in the store. One of the boys, a twenty year old boy named Ben, was trying to slam the jammed door open but had no luck. The other boy was fighting off a walker that had grabbed onto him.
Your husband shot the walker and ran to the door that Ben was at. The wind must have slammed it shut after they got inside and now they were trapped. You were running to the building when it happened. Harry took the butt end of his rifle and slammed it repeatedly into the window and glass shattered everywhere. He grabbed one of the boys and all but threw him out the shattered window to get him away from the walkers. Harry turned around to get Ben, only to find him fighting with two walkers, trying to keep the snapping jaws away from any of his skin.
The bag on your back gets thrown off due to slowing you down. Daryl uses his crossbow to shoot any of the walkers that he could, but it was not much help against the distance and amount of walkers there were. You watch in horror as Harry grabs Ben away from the walkers, but not fast enough for one of them to sink their teeth into Harry’s arm. Blood pours from the wound and soaks his clothes. The scream that you let out is deafening, the sound breaking in your throat while you run to help your husband.
Ben is able to escape and Harry starts shooting his rifle at the walkers as he walks backwards out of the store. He climbs out of the window and keeps firing into the swarm of walkers. You and Daryl help out, killing as many of them as you could. You couldn’t think or breathe in that moment. Once the last walker finally fell, you immediately ran to your husband. You sob into his chest and your heart felt like it was going to explode from all of the running.
“Baby,” His voice broke and his breathing shuddered at the sound of your cries. “I am so sorry.”
“It’s going to be okay, we can amputate it,” You start hyperventilating as you stumble over your words. “Right, Daryl? We can do that.”
“It’s too late,” Daryl says gruffly, even though he doesn’t mean to. Daryl looks at the other boys and tells them to get in the car, which they listen to. Daryl just stands there awkwardly, not sure of what to do. He holds his crossbow in Harry’s direction and places a hand on his gun that rests in his belt, ready to shoot if needed.
“Daryl, please,” You cry. “We have to do something.”
“Ain’t nothin’ we can do.”
Harry looks at you with tears in his eyes and his bottom lip quivers. He understands that he won’t be going home with you, that this is the last time he will ever get to see your face and get to hold you. He knows that everything that the two of you had planned was never going to happen. Harry understood that in his decision to save two boys’ lives, he had sacrificed not only his own, but a life with you.
“Sweetheart, listen to me,” He says, smoothing your hair out of your face and cupping your cheek.
“No, you can’t leave me!” Your voice trembled as the realization of everything started setting in. “We can fix this!”
“Trust me, I really don’t want to leave you.”
“I told you not to do anything stupid,” Your tears clouded your vision, blocking the view of your husband. The realization that this would be the last time that you would ever hold your husband crashed into you like a train and you squeezed him tighter. “You promised me.”
“Listen to me, I am not leaving you,” Harry says, hugging you. His blood starts to soak though your shirt and the cold, wet feeling presses against your back. “I will always be right by your side even if I’m not physically there.”
“I can’t do this without you.”
“Yes you can,” He smiles with tears in his eyes. “I want you to know that you are the most incredible woman I have ever met and I am so thankful that you chose to love me. You will overcome this.”
“What if I can’t?” You feel your heart breaking with every passing minute. “You are my life and without you in it, what do I have left?’’
Daryl watches the two of you, watching Harry’s behavior. He liked Harry and he respects you. The world had run to shit and now he was watching a wife lose her husband. He wasn’t sure how long it had been since the bite so he knew that he needed to go ahead and break the news that it was time. He couldn’t risk the infection spreading to you as well.
“It’s time.” He says gruffly.
Harry was holding tightly as the two of you cried over the loss of each other but also the loss of the potential life the two of you were going to have. Harry tried to back away from you, even though he really didn’t want to, but you refused. He knew that he could feel himself slowly changing due to the virus and with each passing minute, he worried if the change was going to happen completely.
“I don’t want to turn so I need you to leave so I can put an end to this before it happens.”
“What?’’
“I can feel myself getting weaker and I want to go out while I’m still me,” He says.
You nod and fresh tears start to fall. The two of you walk over to a building and sit down beside it. You could tell that Harry was terrified at the fact that he was truly about to die. You were terrified at the fact, but decided to hold in that fear now so you could be there for him. Handing him the gun, you hug him one last time and he cups your jaw to leave one last passionate kiss on your lips. One that said everything that couldn’t be put into words. One that said that he will be waiting for you when it is your turn. One that told you that it is going to be okay, that he will always love you. The kiss conveyed every bit of love, passion, hope, and fear that the two of you shared. You would never be able to have children with him, you will never be able to grow old together in Alexandria and die together. The life that you vowed to each other some years ago will never come to reality and that was all wrapped into one final kiss before the end.
“I love you so much,” Harry says with a shaky voice. “It’s going to be okay, you are going to be okay.”
Before you could say anything, Harry nodded to you. He was silently asking you to leave so you didn’t have to watch. You stood up, slowly letting his hand fall from yours and walked to the bench in front of the building he was leaned up against. You didn’t want to be too far from him in his final moments. Just as you sat down on the bench and took a deep breath, he put the gun to his head and pulled the trigger. Silence fell onto the street and you let out a shaky exhale. You felt a wave of pain wash over you like a tidal wave and your lungs felt like they were being suffocated. You couldn’t breathe, you couldn’t think, your heart stopped at that moment. You had hoped that the pain would just take you with him, but it didn’t. You were very much alive and you hated it.
Standing up, you walked slowly to the car and to Daryl. The look you gave Daryl told him everything he needed to know. He instructed the two boys to collect the body and place it in the back of the car. You stood there beside him and did not say a word. Your entire world had just ended in a world that was overrun by the dead. The last good thing in this world was now gone and you just stood there.
The drive back home was painfully quiet and you just focused on the road. Just a few hours ago, you were giggling at your husband’s singing, planning the future, and now you were transporting his body back home to be buried. Ben and the other boy did not say a word. You knew that it wasn’t their fault, but if they had just done something differently, your husband would be sitting beside you, not laying in the trunk with a bullet in his head.
The gates of Alexandria open and the car pulls forward until it comes to a stop. The three of you pile out of the car and Daryl pulls up behind the car on his motorcycle. He gets off and helps the boys unload the car. You stumble your way to the house you shared with Harry. You couldn’t bear to watch the town panic at the loss of your husband. You couldn’t handle seeing his cold body lay lifeless in the back of the car. Your entire body was exhausted and you needed rest.
The house stood still, frozen in a time where your husband’s laughs filled the air. You stand outside the home and feel your chest tighten. The building is no longer a home, but a structure that once was called a home, and is now just a house. You drag your feet up the driveway and enter the house. The air still smells of his cologne and the faint smell of whichever candle he had been burning before the trip. Going to the bathroom, you see the stains of your husband’s blood on your skin and shirt. It coats you like a blanket and makes reality set in.
You strip yourself of your clothes and turn on the shower. The water is hot against your skin as you watch the clear water turn red with the rinse of Harry’s blood washing down your body. You scrub the blood from your skin, rubbing yourself raw and red. You finally get out of the shower and gather your clothes. Once dressed, you go to brush your teeth but when opening the mirror, you see Harry’s toothbrush and toothpaste frozen in time. You feel tears start to well up, but they don’t fall.
Once finished brushing, you stumble your way to the bedroom that you once shared and crawl in. The cold blankets welcome your tired body and you yawn. Curling up in a ball, you turn onto your left side out of habit to curl up against Harry. Only, you are met with nothing. No warm body of your husband. No open arms waiting for you to fill them. The bed started to feel like it would swallow you whole like a boat in the open ocean with no anchor to keep it grounded. You lay in a bed that is big enough for two people, yet only one will be resting here. The other is being prepared to make his final resting place in a grave.
So I decided that I needed to get back into writing more often after I had a nice break. I want to write a new series for The Walking Dead which I am thinking about making this for Daryl. It is going to be sad for a bit but TRUST ME, it will have a happy ending.
The series would follow the reader through the death of her husband and her grief of losing him as she starts to find comfort in someone new. The series will be talking about the process of moving on and the feelings of betrayal that the reader feels each time she finds herself finding comfort in someone who is not her husband.
I was wanting to know if this is something that you guys would like to read or if you guys have any suggestions for the series, I will happily take those considerations.
Each chapter will have their own warnings.
Series warnings: So much Angst, fluff, depression, character death, mentions of feelings of self-loathing, feelings of betrayal, Smut, heavy talks of twd themes, grief, tension, painfully slow-burn, feelings of dread
Would you be interested in reading?
Yes, but I have a suggestion (DM me or comment or send a request)
Summary: Benedict is captivated by an artistic model in his art academy who happens to share the same interests as him. The rules of society will never let the pair be together, yet passion defies the rules of man when the only thing keeping them apart is statuses.
Warnings: Fluff, Very Small Angst, YEARNING, Smut (fingering, oral (f), over-stimulation, a scarf being used as a blindfold and as restraints), societal rules, CONSENT KING
Word Count: 9k+
The air smelt of charcoal, sweat, alcohol, and paint. The art academy hummed with the sounds of charcoal scraping against papers, paint being carefully applied to the canvases, and the occasional chatter between the art students. Models, women and men alike, stood in the center of each room with about ten pairs of eyes raking over their nude form. These eyes traced over every curve, every beauty mark, over every imperfection and made their way onto the canvas. The candlelight and oil lamps flickered an orange shadow onto the models as they posed before the students whose eyes never lingered on the models longer than they needed to, except for one student.
Benedict Bridgerton sat in the circle that enclosed the female model. She stood tall in the center of the room, a room that only had five students for the night. The woman was nude and if that bothered her at all, her face did not show it. His eyes traced her body and face as he paid close attention to the dips and curves of her. His eyes darted back and forth from the canvas and the model in front of him. He was captivated by her. The woman had only been working at the academy for roughly three weeks and there was something about the woman that Benedict could not shake from his mind. She felt familiar to him, as if they had known each other in another world. Her presence called out to him unlike any of the other women in his life. The art professors praised Benedict’s work when it was of her. They considered the artwork his best pieces, claiming that the academy did a good job at picking the woman that stood before him now.
Your eyes remain focused on one pillar in the room, your mind numb to anything that may be happening in the room around you. If you think too hard, your face will show it. If you think too little, you appear bored which is an unwanted feature to be drawn out in a sketching. You were still relatively new to this line of work, but it offered you a chance of learning from the best art teachers in England. Academies and universities are for men only and a woman can only learn from her governess if there is one available or she is of nobility. You try not to think about the opportunities you would have had if your grandmother had not tossed your mother and you onto the street, removing her title and your dowry.
As the night draws on, you get a break for a few minutes while the students talk amongst themselves during the short time that they get to put down the pencil. You are the only woman in the room and modesty is not exactly an option when you stand before the men nude as the day you were born. A man walks over to you with a sheet and hands it to you. He looks familiar, a regular student that you model for. His blue eyes are captured in the orange lighting and he wears a smile, a nervous smile but a smile nonetheless. You accept the sheet and wrap it around yourself as a makeshift robe before turning to the kind student. You smile back at him and wait for him to speak first, a rule that carries into noble society and still applies in the academy.
“I’m Benedict Bridgerton,” He says as he sticks his hand out for you to take. His hands are covered in black marks from his pencils and charcoal. You take it anyways.
“It is nice to meet you,” You smile at his voice and the warmth that radiates from his hand. “I take it that you are a student, yes?”
“Am I so easily given away?”
“No, I just noticed that the academy is only for students who earned a spot so if you are here, then you are a student.”
“Well, you are also here.” You raise an eyebrow at his words.
“I am not a man, therefore I am not a student,” You smile, noticing that his hand is still grasping yours. “If I was to be a student, I would not be the one you are drawing.”
Benedict smiles and shakes his head. He finds himself surprised at the way you hold your own against him. He looks down for a second before realizing that he is still holding your hand and slowly pulls away. He looks back at your face that was still wearing a smile and takes a step back. Something inside of him calls for him to be closer, to feel your skin touching his again.
“I think that I would prefer sketching you with a smile,” He says, eyes searching yours for any hesitation.
“I am not here to smile, Mr. Bridgerton.”
“You are right,” He tilts his head. “Your smile is more valuable than what money can afford.”
“Does this work on most of the women you spend your time with, Mr. Bridgerton?”
“Please call me, Benedict,” He says with a small smirk developing. “The real question, however, is it working?”
You lean forward laughing, causing your sheet to slip. Benedict’s hand reaches out to grab the sheet and pulls it up on your body, covering you more. His body is closer now, his chest against yours almost. You can feel the warmth of him and it slowly warms your cheeks, leaving a rosy color displayed.
“Thank you,’’ You say with a small smile. He nods and then another student appears beside him and slaps him on the back.
“Bridgerton, it’s time to get back to work,’’ The man says before taking a drag of his cigar. “We have about an hour left to finish these sketches or we are going to be behind on work.”
You shake your head before moving back to your position in the middle of the room. Dropping the sheet, you assume the same pose as before with one of your arms resting on your hip and the other resting on the thigh of a slightly bent leg. The room around you fills with the sounds of pencils meeting paper. The minutes drag on, but soon the pencils stop and the canvases are moved out of the way. The men start to clean up before slowly filing out of the room to go back to their homes. You sigh and stretch your limbs before yawning. You had been posing from the sunrise to the sunset and now you could have some alone time before heading back to your own home. You picked up your dress from the closet and quickly dressed yourself as best that you could.
Sitting down at a stool with an empty canvas, you gather the supplies of pencils and paints. You pick one up and envision the statues that are displayed all across the academy. Your pencil drags fine, black lines across the paper and you hum to yourself, getting lost in your movements. Assuming you were alone, you started talking to yourself. Ranting about how the students do not understand the difficulty of standing there for hours in the same pose without clothes and having eyes on your every move, every part of your body was visible to them. That was how they learned, with your body and with your obedience. Being so caught up in your own conversation with yourself, you failed to notice that one of the students had not gone home.
“I did not know that you could draw,” The voice said from the shadows. “It is impressive.”
“Mr. Bridgerton,” You gasp from shock when hearing his voice before he steps from the dark corner. “I did not know you were here.”
“It is quite alright,” He chuckles. “I did not mean to scare you.”
“I believe I can handle you appearing from the shadows,” You laugh. Benedict’s heart leaps at the sound of it, though he is not sure why.
“I meant what I said about your art,” He says, walking closer to you and your canvas. “I have not met any models who knew how to draw.”
“Do you want to know a secret?”
“Do tell.’’
“I model because I want to learn,” Your head is down, not looking Benedict in the eyes when saying it, as if this secret would bring shame onto you. “Women don’t get the same opportunities as you men, so I figured why not make a little bit of money and in turn, I can listen to the professors teach and I can watch the students work so when everyone goes home, I can practice.”
“I wouldn’t have guessed that models actually learn while posing,” He sighs. “I could always teach you what I’ve learned if you would truly like.”
You give him a weary look. His eyes were kind and he had the smallest of smiles ghosting his features. He was even more handsome when looking up from the stool. He towered over you, yet you were not afraid to be alone with this man. Something deep within you seemed to be screaming his name, calling out for him, only to receive no answer. He was a gentleman and gentlemen marry women of their own class. They marry ladies, not nude art models that they meet and her job is to display a human figure for him to sketch onto a piece of paper while in front of ten other men. No, men like Benedict marry someone rich and of noble blood, not someone like her.
“What you can do for me is to sit–” You take his hand and guide him to the same space that you were posing in and have him sit on a stool. “Here and I need you to take your arm and place it here.”
“Am I now to be the model?”
“I only have an idea of what to do because of your classes,” You say, looking up at him as you move his body into the position that you wanted. “I need to practice.”
Benedict smirked at your statement and looked down at you while you moved him. His eyes followed your movements, finding himself attracted to the way that you were taking charge. The way that you bossed him around and put him in his place. He smiles as he watches you, barely trying to hide his attraction. He thought of you as intelligent, far more intelligent than those of your class, an intelligence that is typically found in women who were around his sisters. He was slightly confused as to how you were so intelligent, not that he was judging by any means or thinks that women of your class are unintelligent, just simply that you appeared to be far more intelligent than the common woman.
You move back to the canvas and sit on the stool before it. Taking up the charcoal pencil, you gently glide it across the canvas, forming lines and slowly sketching out a silhouette of the man before you. As you drew him, you felt a warmth flood your face each time your eyes met and you knew that your hands were leaving charcoal streaks on your face each time you moved a piece of fallen hair out of your eyes. Feeling Benedict’s eyes focusing on you, something deep inside of you throbbed with some kind of heat. Something within you caused you to stand and approach Benedict. You fold your hands together behind your back as you walk closer. Benedict’s eyes followed you, scanning your face and body language. His face morphs into a smile and his posture relaxes when you step in between his legs.
“I seem to have run into the smallest problem,” You say, emphasizing with your hands as to how small the issue was.
“Is that so?” He asks, an eyebrow raising and a small smirk starts to form on his face. His hands itched to come to rest on your waist. “Is there anything that I can do to help with this problem?”
“I cannot seem to get your masculine form with this shirt in the way,” You nod and bite your lip as your hand reaches out to touch the fabric.
“Oh dear,” He gasps, placing a hand on his chest. “What do you think that we shall do to fix this?”
Your fingers find the buttons and start fidgeting with them. You look down into his eyes as you stand tall above him. Your pupils dilate with arousal as Benedict’s hands come up to grasp yours and halt their movements.
“Your eyes are the most remarkable shade of blue,” You whisper, watching Benedict’s eyes flicker over your face. Your hand comes out and brushes against his cheek.
“Do you wish for me to remove my shirt?’’ He says, standing up suddenly which makes you take a step back with your hands still in his. His hands find a place on your waist and he lowers his mouth close to your ears, lowering his voice. “Are you asking me to disrobe myself?”
You feel the warmth of his breath fan across your neck and your eyes close instinctively. Biting your lip, your hands stay holding the fabric of his shirt and use it as a way of grounding yourself. Benedict pulls back and lets out a small chuckle as he watches your reaction.
“I asked you a question,” He whispers into the quiet room saved from the sound of your breathing. “I expect an answer.”
“Yes, I need you to remove your shirt.”
“Just my shirt?”
You looked at him and nodded. Your eyes focused solely on his lips as they moved to form the words he spoke into the air. You feel your body warming and you lose your ability to speak as you gaze up at him.
“If you do not speak, I will not do what you wish.”
“Yes, I only need the shirt to be removed.”
Benedict takes a step back, the warmth of his hands leaving your waist makes you shudder at the sudden loss. He untucks his shirt from his trousers and slowly unbuttons it, all while looking at you and your reaction. Once his shirt was unbuttoned, his hands gripped the bottom and pulled it over his head. The shirt comes off, revealing a toned and pale torso that could only belong to a Bridgerton. The white shirt lies on the floor and Benedict takes a few steps forward and his hands find their place back on your waist.
Your hands come up to rest on his biceps while your eyes trace every part of the man before you. Swallowing hard, you hear Benedict chuckle again.
“Have you ever seen a man without a shirt?” He says, loving the way that your innocent eyes seem to rake across him with a glint of need. You shake your head “no.”
He takes your hand and rests it on his left pec. His hand stays on yours and guides it to gently touch his body. You gasp at how warm he feels and look up at him. He nods and your hands return to his chest. The gentle touch of your fingers tickles Benedict slightly, but he ignores it and focuses on the way your hands feel on his chest. You run your hands down his torso, ending right above his pants and then moving to his collarbones before touching his arms. Benedict stares at you while your hands explore his body and all he can think about is how much he wishes that you had asked him to disrobe himself completely and he wished to do the same to you.
“You are soft,” You say, hands flattening again on his chest. “I did not expect.”
“Thank you,” Benedict says as he leans closer to you, lips barely apart. All you had to do was tip your head up just a fraction of an inch and his lips would be on yours. “Do you like what you see?”
“This is such a bad idea.”
“I asked if you like what you see,” He says, his hand coming up to grasp the side of your face. His thumb gently traces your bottom lip, his eyes staring at your mouth as if you were a glass of water in the desert.
“Yes, Mr. Bridgerton.”
“Does this fix your problem?”
“It does.”
“Then you should finish your drawing,” He says before pulling away and walking back to the stool to take his previous pose.
Two weeks later
Benedict wakes to the darkness of his bedroom and groans. He had just woken up from a dream of you. He could still feel the way that your body was pressed up against his while he did filthy things to you in his dream, could still hear the moans and cries falling from your lips, and he very much so still had a hard on upon his awakening.
Since that night at the academy, all he could think about was you. His mother had tried to talk to him about a ball that was to be held at Lady Danbury’s home and was insisting that he attend to meet a possible bride. His mind had been elsewhere while she rambled on about it before she stopped pacing to ask him if he had paid any attention to her words, he had not. The other day, he had been drinking with his brothers which did not go well because he had been so distracted by the thought of you and when he will see you again that he lost at a game of darts against Colin which Anthony had to give a little quip about Benedict’s brain now being filled with charcoal. If only his brother had known that he was falling for his art model.
The London society would never allow Benedict, a second son in one of the most powerful families in the Ton, to marry someone of a lower class than he. Benedict would lie awake late at night trying to find a way to bend the rules of society so he could have who he wanted. Having a mistress was already scandalous enough, not that he would ask you to be his because his mother might murder him herself. Benedict truly could not find a possible way for the two of you to be together, leaving him in a sour mood for weeks.
The day comes that you are not modeling for his class. The professor explains that you are sick, not that the professor cared, and a stand in model is used. Benedict’s mood worsens due to your absence, a feat that is not missed by anyone in the room. Benedict’s pencil scrapes harder in frustration before he excuses himself to go home. With each day that passes without seeing you, Benedict slips into a worse mood.
“Brother, whatever is the matter with you?” Colin asks as he takes a sip of his whiskey.
“There is nothing wrong,” Benedict replies.
“You have been drunk almost every night,” Anthony says. “Mother was not pleased when you showed up drunk and slurring your speech at Lady Featherington’s ball last week.”
“And I apologized.”
“Is there something wrong at the academy?”
Benedict gave an annoyed look at Colin and rolled his eyes. The only thing wrong with the academy was your absence. He feels like he has been going insane with each day that goes by that he doesn’t see you.
“No.”
Benedict gets up and storms out of the room and climbs the stairs to his bedroom. Closing the door, he leans against it and lets out a deep exhale. He did not understand why he was feeling this way, but with every possible explanation leads back to you. You have bewitched him.
One week later
Benedict sits at his canvas and no one else is in the room. He arrived two hours earlier than the models and other students, wanting to observe his progress on his drawing and just hoping to get to see you before the others arrived. His hands sit neatly in his lap as he waits for your arrival. Moments later, your frame comes into view as you walk into the room while taking off your coat. Benedict stands immediately and approaches you with a sheepish smile.
“Mr. Bridgerton,” You say with a smile. You had missed him deeply while you were sick and you were excited to see him again.
“Are you well?”
“I am feeling much better.”
“I’m glad,” He says with a smile. “I have something that I need to ask you.”
You turn fully to look at him and your smile fades by a fraction. Worry and dread fills your senses as you wait for his question, a million different ones flood your mind. What if he doesn’t want you to model for him anymore? What if he doesn’t want to see you? Have you offended him by speaking to him first?
“I was wanting to know if you would like to take lessons, private lessons from me at my cottage?” He asks, grabbing your hands in hopes that it would soothe any worries you had.
“Your cottage?”
“Yes, it is out in the country and I am in need of a break from my family.”
“But what about school?”
“The professor had announced that the academy would be closing for the summer in our last class,” He says, getting more nervous with every passing second that you do not give an answer. “I have also decided to include payment that will amount to twice the payment you are currently receiving.”
“I cannot take money from you,” You gasp. “I wouldn’t be doing anything to deserve it.”
“No, but you will be spending time with me and I think that you deserve to be compensated for that.”
“My company cannot be bought, Mr. Bridgerton.”
“I am not buying your company, I am simply providing you with the funds that you would make if you were modeling through the summer.”
You look up at Benedict, seeing the worried expression on his face, and nod. You accept his offer in which his lips pull into a smile and his hands tighten around yours. Something had to have been in the air because you felt yourself becoming lost in the oceans of blue of his eyes. A summer away with Benedict sounded lovely, after all, you had missed him tremendously and wanted to spend as much time together as you could. The only problem that lingered in the back of your mind was the fact that you were not a lady and that was the only reason that he could ask such a thing. You knew that Benedict was not attracted to you and even if he was, the two of you could not be anything more than what you already are.
“You will not regret this.”
—
The trip to the cottage was long and tiring as the carriage swayed back and forth as it followed the road. The road seemed to stretch for miles and with Benedict’s body being across from yours, it didn’t make it any easier. You could faintly hear his breathing and the way that the sun was casting light onto his face through the window was starting to drive you crazy. You had become somewhat familiar with Benedict’s upper body, never daring further than just his shirt, and knowing what he looks like underneath the shirt he was wearing made your head spin with desire.
The two of you had an attraction for one another, yet neither one of you knew about the other, and neither one of you acted on it. He was a gentleman and you were just his model. The ride was scattered with conversation, none really sticking for long as the journey to the country had made the two of you quite sleepy.
“Are you familiar with the country?’’ Benedict finally asks, hours of silence started to make him wonder if you were truly there.
“I am not,’’ You smile, hands fiddling with your common dress. “I have always wanted to make a visit.”
“My Cottage is a very lovely place,” He says with reassurance. “It’s on a large plot of land so we will be completely alone, very private.”
“If I didn’t know any better, Mr. Bridgerton, I would be nervous to be alone with a man and have no one around.”
“You do not need to worry,” Benedict smiles and shakes his head. “I understand the nerves, but I promise to be nothing more than a gentleman.”
“I do not think that gentlemen bring ladies to their cottages alone,” You smile. “After all, that would be scandalous.”
“You are correct,” He laughs. “Gentlemen do not bring ladies to their cottages alone.”
You know what he meant by that and you also knew what you were implying, but a small part of you wanted him to not see class as a restriction. You wanted him to not acknowledge the difference in social status, yet whether or not he meant to recognize the difference in his statement, it still reminded you that he does not see you as his equal. You are a model and he is the student, the gentleman, the man who gets to go back to his family and never worry about anything other than which fine lady he has to marry. You sit there in silence after his sentence because you didn’t know what else to say.
“Have I offended you?” Benedict asks, concern and panic flooding his face. He noticed that you had not replied back to him and became worried that he went too far. “I did not mean–”
“Benedict, you need not remind me that I am not a lady,” You say very calmly. It was the first time you had said his first name and you wished that you could savor the feeling of saying it. “I am quite aware that we are not equals, there is no need to pretend.”
“I never meant to hurt you,” He says, head dropping in disappointment with himself. “If I were to be honest, I quite like that you are not considered a lady of society.”
“And why is that?’’ You snap. You did not mean to, but you felt yourself becoming more annoyed as the conversation continued. “Because this would be harmful to your family’s name? Because you would be considered a rake and your father will have to spin the narrative or is it because the worst thing that could happen to you due to being caught with a lady alone is marriage?”
“No,” He said quietly. “You are able to be yourself and not pretend to be a version of yourself that you think I will enjoy being around. The ladies of the Ton are nice, but they do not have the same passion as me and as much as they try to come off as genuine, it just seems like all they are looking for in me is my family name.”
You sit there across from him, suddenly feeling bad for him and you immediately regret being harsh with him. Benedict turns his face to the window and tries to not meet your gaze as you stare at him, watching his facial expression as your words echo in his mind. You want to apologize, but you are not sure how.
“My father is no longer living, so I doubt his narrative will help much,” Benedict finally says and your heart drops. “I understand that you think very little of me, but I do think very highly of you. You are an intelligent woman who has surprised me in so many ways, I cannot count them. I enjoy your company and I had hoped that you agreed to be here with me because you enjoy my company as well.”
“I don’t think little of you,” You sigh. “Men of your status typically do not care for women of my own class so we often get discarded by society.”
“I do not really care for what society wants,” He says with a smile. “All that matters is what the woman I am interested in wants and what I want.”
Just as he finishes his sentence, the carriage halts in front of a huge home. The building seems to go on forever. This was not like any cottage that you had ever seen, not that you had seen many. Your jaw drops open as you take in the view all while Benedict smiles and makes a face as if this is just an everyday occurrence. Benedict grabs the two bags that you had brought and carries them inside, leading you to your room.
Your room was spacious with a large bed, a dresser, mirror, and a bedside table with a chair in the corner of the room. Benedict places your bags on the bed and you walk over to the large windows and open them, causing the white curtains to flow in the wind. Benedict watches you with eyes filled with adoration. He lets you know when dinner will be ready and he leaves you in the room so you can get comfortable.
In Benedict’s room, he is pacing around while the thoughts of you flooded his mind. He hated how he acted in the carriage and he was slowly losing his mind as he felt his heart leap at the smile that you wore on your face when seeing your room. He realized that he was starting to care deeply about you and it was not like how it was before when he had just thought it was an attraction. He actually cared when you were upset, when you were happy, and by God did he enjoy being the reason that you were smiling and happy. You had wormed your way into his heart and he could not get you to leave.
—
Dinner was full of conversation about art and what he had planned to teach you starting tomorrow. Benedict watched you eat, wanting to see your reaction to his cooking. He didn’t really know how to cook and it seemed horrible just based on appearance.
“Are you enjoying your food?” He asks, nervous about your response.
“Oh, it is quite lovely,” You say with a pained expression and you struggle to not laugh.
“You do not need to lie for my sake.”
“Mr. Bridgerton, this may be the most disgusting thing I have ever had to eat,” You say with a laugh.
“You do not need to be cruel,” He smiles and puts down his fork. “I do not know how to cook.”
“And here I thought you were the chef at your familial home.”
“I think my mother would put me out on the street if I tried to cook this at home,” Benedict laughs.
“So you have chefs at home?”
“Yes.”
“Let’s keep the cooking to them, shall we?”
—
The sun lit up your room, waking you from your slumber. Stretching, you sit up in bed and get dressed. The cottage was quiet, the only sounds were your bare feet on the floorboards as you made your way to Benedict’s room. He should be awake given it was extremely bright outside. Opening the door, you could not find Benedict in any corner of the room so you decide to take a walk around the grounds of the cottage.
The gardens were full of flowers and trees, allowing you to smell each one as you passed by. You wanted to pick a few flowers to paint later in the day, but decided against it because this was not your property. Following the path, you see a pond on the left side and there are tall trees around it. Walking closer, you hear the sound of water moving and you continue to walk until you come to a tree at the water’s edge. In the water is Benedict Bridgerton swimming lazily, water rippling around his body as the sun reflected off the droplets on his body.
Benedict grew tired of swimming and swam to the shore. Climbing out of the water, he hears a gasp and looks around. There is nothing around, seemingly no one either, so he just brushed it off. He grabs his pants and tugs them up his wet body. Bending down to grab his shirt, he notices something move from behind the tree beside the shore.
Your skirt of the dress was stuck in a few vines and you started to tug it out, leading to the dress to start ripping. Just as you give one final tug, the dress comes loose and the force of your tug sends you flailing to the ground. You catch yourself with your hands, the hard ground presses into your palms and you hear a manly chuckle come from above you. With your head down, you sigh because you have now been spotted.
“Were you spying on me?” Benedict laughs.
“What makes you think that I would be interested in spying?” You ask while standing up.
“Because I was naked and you were hiding,” He says and your eyes follow a few water droplets run down his toned torso and collect at the top of his trousers. “My eyes are up here.”
“I was not spying,” You exclaim, stepping closer to him. “And I was not hiding.”
“You were behind a tree,” He laughs.
“I was interested in the tree.”
Benedict steps until his chest is close enough to touch yours. Water continues to run down his body and your eyes struggle to maintain eye contact. His hands come up to cup your face and look at you puzzlingly. You melt slightly at his touch, eyes widening at the cold touch of his hands on your face.
“Why can’t I stop thinking about you?” He asks, face coming closer as he whispers the confession into the air. “You plagued my senses and yet I do not want to free myself from this ailment.”
“You also consume my thoughts.”
“No, you do not understand,” He whispers, his lips moving to your ear. “You haunt every part of me.”
Your eyes close for a second before pulling back from him by just a fraction. His lips are so close and his eyes drop to yours. Taking one last look in his eyes, you lean up and press your lips together. Benedict’s hand slides into your hair and the other drops to your waist to pull you closer against him. Your lips are pressed together and you feel as if you had been hit by some kind of drug. Benedict’s tongue licks gently at your lips, asking for permission and you grant it. His hands start to roam your body, feet walking you back to the tree until your back meets the rough bark that is now digging into your back. The kiss is deep and heated. It is as if your kiss was giving Benedict air and a will to live. His lips devoured yours and he slowly moved from your lips to your neck. You let out a sound that you have never heard before and your hand comes up and clings to his shoulders.
“I need you,” He whispers against your lips before kissing you again. His lips press firmly against yours and his grip tightens.
Caught up in the kiss, your mind starts to fill with thoughts of how forbidden the actions occurring are. Benedict is a gentleman and you are not a lady. You felt a panic flood your chest and breathing became difficult. The air seemed to choke you and your heart started racing. With the thoughts consuming your mind, you place a hand on Benedict’s chest and gently push him off of you.
“Stop,” You say, gasping for breath.
“Did I hurt you?”
“We shouldn’t be doing this.’’
“Are you okay?” He asks, hands coming up to look for any harm he might have done. “Did I go too far?’’
“Do not touch me,” You cry. Benedict’s hands immediately go in the air and he takes a step back.
“Are you hurt?”
With all of his questions, you realize that it is all too much and you turn to run away. Your feet carry you away from Benedict and the memory of what just transpired between the two of you before your mind could process what happened. Your chest felt tight and your legs started aching from running up hills. You stop for a moment to catch your breath when you feel it, a rain droplet landing on your cheek. Looking up at the sky, you see dark grey clouds and the wind starts picking up. The rain is starting to come down heavier, blinding you from where the cottage is. The dirt path that you had been following started to turn to mud, your shoes getting stuck as you ran. Your dress was covered in mud and your shoes were almost beyond saving.
A call of your name rang through the sound of a thunder storm and the voice was coming from Benedict as he ran through the rain to catch up to you. His shirt was completely soaked through and was clinging to his muscles. You continued to run until you slipped in the mud, messing up your dress even more. Standing up, you wiped your dirty hands on the wet dress and saw Benedict slow himself to a walk. He reached you in just a few steps and he was panting as he tried to catch his breath.
“Please,” he mutters, barely loud enough for you to hear over the howling rain and wind. “Give me a chance to explain.”
“We cannot be together,” You say, tears forming in your eyes. “Society does not allow it.”
“Society has no authority in our decision,” He pants out. “Society does not dictate who I am allowed to love and who I cannot.”
“You will lose everything.”
“I cannot lose everything if you were never mine to lose,” Benedict says, moving closer to you and this time, you do not run. “I do not want to lose the possibility of us because you think that society has a say in what we do.”
“You do not mean that.”
“Why would I take the time to explain myself to you if I did not mean a word I said?’’
You stand in silence, shivering in the freezing rain while Benedict confesses everything to you. A small part of you keeps thinking about the difference in class, how this will never work, but the way that Benedict truly believed his words, it was slowly quieting that part of you.
“We have spent months together and there has not been one moment where I have not thought of you,” Benedict says. “You have consumed me, every part of me is yours. I look for you the moment that I walk into that academy and I stay after hours because I just want to be in your presence longer.”
“Benedict–”
“I am not done,” He walks even closer, his chest now touching yours and his hands grab yours. “I am in adoration of you. I do not know when it started but I know that I wanted to be the reason that you smiled. I wanted to be the one that you were smiling at. So please, do not worry about social status, not when it physically hurts to not be with you. Society does not define who you are and what you mean to me.”
The rain poured steadily, the droplets clinging to the both of you, yet neither one of you paid any attention to it. Each one of his words came out as if they were desperate attempts to make you understand him. All you could think about was that the man who has plagued your soul for months just confessed that he has been suffering just as much. You looked up at him, his blue eyes slightly red from tears, and then you placed a hand on his cheek. He leans into it, wet hair clinging to his forehead. You slide your hand to the back of his neck and gently pull him into a kiss.
Benedict’s hands find purchase on your waist and let out a groan when your fingers tug slightly at his hair. His lips move against yours, rain droplets run down both of your faces as your bodies begin to press harder together. Benedict pulls away briefly to breathe and then a clap of thunder rumbles through the sky.
“I think we should go inside,” He laughs before the two of you start making your way to the cottage.
Once inside the home, Benedict runs a hand through his hair and smiles brightly. You begin laughing when you catch a glimpse of the two of you in a mirror hanging on the wall. Your hair clung to your face and the dress you were wearing was completely ruined with rain water mixed with mud. Benedict beams at you before gently cupping your jaw and placing a kiss on your lips. You smile into the kiss and just as the kiss was about to go further, he pulls away.
“We need to get into some fresher clothes.”
You started a fire in the fireplace while Benedict searched for clothes. You only had two dresses with you because that was all you owned so Benedict had suggested that you wear some of his clothes. Pants and a shirt seemed odd for a woman to wear given that you had only seen men wear them but dry clothes were better than the ones you were wearing. Benedict came back with a pair of his clothes for you and told you how to put them on which you laughed considering it was basically obvious on how to dress yourself.
Once you were dressed, you looked at yourself in the mirror. The shirt was way too big for you and the pants did not help either. It felt strange to not wear a dress, however, it felt nice to wear Benedict’s clothes. It gave you a sense of being his, being his woman. It felt nice thinking about being his because after all of this time, both suffered at the thought of not being together. Walking back over to the fireplace, you sit down beside Benedict and raise your hands to the fire to warm up.
“You look like a painting come to life right now,” He says, admiring the way you look in his clothes.
“I look like a man.”
“I never specified who was in the painting,” He laughs as you swat at his arm.
“You are lucky that I do not want to catch a cold,” You say with a smile. “I would never wear these clothes.”
“You look perfect,” He says before kissing you softly.
The kiss becomes deeper and he pulls you closer to his body. Your hands land on his shoulders and his tongue asks for permission by licking your lips gently. You grant it and a flood of heat swells in your belly as his tongue massages against yours. You let out a soft moan before swinging your leg over his hips to plant yourself on his lap. Benedict smiles into the kiss and his hands drift down your back before squeezing your ass causing you to let out another moan. His pupils are blown with desire and you like the fact that you are causing him to feel this way. Something hard presses against you when he pulls your hips down to be flush against his hips and you gasp.
“I need you sweetheart,” he says.
“Need me for what?” As soon as the words fell from your lips, Benedict rolled his hips up into yours causing you to gasp.
“Can you feel how crazy I am about you?” He asks, becoming needier by the second. “How badly I want you?”
Your head tips back at the feeling of his clothed cock rubbing against your growing heat. Benedict’s mouth attacks your collarbones and neck as he starts to unbutton his shirt that you were wearing. His tongue teased your heated skin with gentle licks as his teeth scraped against your body. The buttons on your shirt are almost completely undone, yet Benedict stops and swallows your moans with his lips. Your hands slip under the shirt he is wearing and begin to grip his muscles as they flex in his movements. With every passing moment, a feeling inside that you have never felt before grows.
“I have spent every night wondering how you would sound as you fall apart for me,” He whispers against your lips. “If you give me permission, I can show you what that feels like.”
You nod.
“Words, baby.”
“You have my permission.”
“To do what?” He asks, tilting his head while looking up at you as you straddle his lap.
“To make me fall apart.”
—
Benedict pulls you off of him to stand before taking your hand. He started to walk toward the staircase and you followed, not that you could much with him holding your hand. Following down the hallways, you reach his bedroom. He opens the door and gestures for you to enter before him so you do. Benedict was remaining silent, something that kind of worried you. Standing in the center of his bedroom, he circled you like prey before finally coming to a stop in front of you.
“Do you know what I am going to do to you?” He asks, his hand coming up to brush his thumb against your cheek.
“No.”
“First, I am going to undress you.” He finishes his previous task of unbuttoning the remaining buttons of your shirt. His head leans down to kiss your shoulder as the cloth becomes looser on your body. Once the shirt is pulled from your body, his hands find the button to his trousers before discarding them with the rest. You wore nothing underneath and immediately felt the need to cover yourself, despite modeling nude in front of him numerous times at the academy. For some reason, this felt more personal while standing naked in front of only his eyes.
“Now, I want you to lay on the bed and look at me.”
Climbing onto the bed, you lay your head on one of the silk pillows. Your eyes never leave Benedict’s while he just stands there, watching you. His hands reach for the bottom of his shirt and pull it over his head, adding it to the pile of clothes that were at the center of the room. His muscles somehow became more defined in the faint glow of candlelight and you had to physically bite back a groan at the sight of them. Benedict slowly walked over to the bed and slowly crawled his way over your body, dipping his head to kiss your stomach and then continuing his way until he reached your lips. He didn’t kiss you, no matter how badly you wanted him to, he controlled himself.
“It’s quite chilly in here,” You laugh, obviously full of nerves. Benedict smiles and dips his head to kiss your shoulder.
“Do not worry,” He chuckles. “I’m about to warm you up.”
Benedict’s leaves open mouthed kisses from your shoulder to your lips. You sigh into the kiss, finally feeling him against your lips once again, a feeling that you cannot get enough of. His tongue gently moved against yours, hands wandering up and down your sides, leaving goosebumps in their wake. Benedict finally pulls away from you by a fraction, smiling at your flushed face.
“Do you trust me?”
“I do.”
“Thank you,” He says, one of his hands trails down your body and comes to rest on your thigh. He looks at you one more time before grabbing your hands and placing them above your head on the pillow. “Keep these here. If you move them, I will stop.”
Benedict lets go of your hands and begins to explore the rest of your body. His mouth leaves small bites and kisses up and down your body as he marks you as his. You let out a breathy moan as he takes a breast into his warm mouth. His tongue lolls around the nipple and then suddenly, he bites down. Not enough to truly hurt, but enough to grab your attention. Your eyes close as pleasure courses through your body with every movement that Benedict makes on your body.
He starts to move down your body between your thighs. His hands spread your legs while his eyes remain on your face, looking for any discomfort written on your features. He found none so he continued. His face moved closer to your dripping heat and he took a deep breath, inhaling your natural scent. This pulled a groan from his lips before he dove into your cunt. His tongue makes a long stripe up your slit and your back arches off the bed, hands fighting to stay in place.
“Fuck, sweetheart,” He moans into you, eyes closing as he savors the taste of you on his tongue. Allowing your taste to flood his every sense. He has waited for so long to be positioned in between your thighs, he does not believe that even the devil himself could pull him away from you.
“Benedict, please,” You cried, eyes closed as you focused on the feeling that he was providing you.
“Do you like it when I do this to you?’’ He asks before slipping two fingers into your tight heat and plants his tongue against your clit.
Your right hand flies to Benedict’s hair and tugs it harshly. Barely a second later, Benedict pulls away from your aching pussy. Feeling the tightening band in your stomach disappear, you open your eyes to see Benedict no longer on the bed. Instead, he was walking over to a dresser and he pulled out three scarves. You watched him with a pout, waiting for his return.
“I told you not to move your hands,” He says calmly. “Yet you disobeyed the one thing that I asked of you.”
“I’m sorry,” You pout. “It will not happen again.”
“You’re right, it won’t.”
Benedict walked to one side of the bed and grabbed your hand. He tied your hand to the bedpost using the scarf before doing the same to the other hand. You helplessly watched him as he tightly bound you to the bed. He wore a sheepish smile as he watched you try to get undone, but the scarves did not let go.
“Do you trust me?’’
“You have asked this question before.”
“What I am about to do requires you to trust me so I am making sure that your answer is still yes.”
“Yes, I trust you.”
Benedict smiled and then took the remaining scarf and placed it over your eyes, tying a knot in the back to keep the makeshift blindfold in place. When he was satisfied with his work, he made his way back in between your legs.
“Benedict, is this really necess–” Your words are cut off by a moan when you feel his fingers making a come hither motion inside of your walls. “Oh fuck.”
“Shhhh,” He coos as his fingers continue to push in and out of you. “Just focus on how I am making you feel.”
Your lips form an “O” shape when you feel his tongue be added into the mix of his fingers. You cannot focus on the two sensations that you were feeling. You thrash around in your restraints and cry out for Benedict to allow you to touch him. Something inside of you feels like it is about to burst and you try to warn Benedict, but it hits you out of nowhere and it feels like a tidal wave hitting you over and over again while he draws it out longer by not letting up on his movements.
“That’s it, baby,” He whispers. “Cum all over my fingers, I know you can.”
Your moans become whimpers as you try to crawl away from him when the sensations start to become too much. You cannot see him, but you can feel him follow your body. He was not going to let you go until he was ready to do so. The pleasure became painful as you felt another climax hit you. The wet sounds that your pussy would have made you embarrassed but you were so focused on your orgasm, you did not hear the noise. Without your sight, you could not see the bright shade of pink that had dusted Benedict’s chest and face as he licked up your mess. He starts kissing up your body and smiles when he sees the blissed out expression on your face.
“Was that okay?”
“I don’t think I have ever felt that in my life.”
“I hope that you only feel that when you are with me,” He smiles before undoing the scarf acting as a blindfold. “Thank you for trusting me.”
You lift your head up to kiss him and it draws a chuckle from him. Benedict dips his head lower so you can reach his lips and groans when he feels you wrap your legs around his waist to pull him closer. Your body hummed with desire and you felt the need to have him inside of you grow with every second that he wasn’t. Benedict rolled his hips against you and grunted. Your arousal left a wet patch on his trousers.
“So wet for me,” he mutters. “So needy.”
“Please,” You whisper.
“Please, what?”
“I need you.”
“Need me where?”
“You know where,” You pout, growing more frustrated.
“You want me here?’’ He teases your entrance with his middle finger, feeling you clench around air. You nod.
Benedict chuckles and pulls away to remove the rest of his clothes. Once undressed completely, he crawls back over you and positions himself between your legs. Spreading them further so he could line his cock up with your entrance, he presses your legs up closer to your chest. Once his tip is lined up, he looks at you for any hesitation.
“Are you okay with this?’’
“Yes, please Benedict.”
“This might hurt a little bit,” He winces at the idea of hurting you. “Tell me to stop if it becomes too much.”
He pushes forward and your breath gets caught in your throat. He was big and it felt like he was splitting you in two. He leans down and starts to kiss your cheeks, letting your legs fall around his waist as he pushes further. His kisses are attempts to distract you from the pressure and pain that is currently happening in your lower region. You hiss at the sting of being stretched open, but as Benedict moves further into you, he makes shallow thrusts to help open you up some more.
Once he bottoms out, he stills for you to become adjusted to the stretch of him. He smiles at you, resting his forehead against yours and breathes slowly. You give him a signal to move and he does. Pulling his hips back, he slowly thrusts back in. The feeling of his cock dragging against your insides is delicious and it makes you want more. You let out a moan when he angles his hips to hit that sweet spot inside of you and that was all of the confirmation that he needed to keep thrusting at that angle.
“You feel so good,” He whimpered, pulling his body upward so he was on his knees while pounding into you. He starts thrusting deeper, each one landing perfectly against the spot that made your brain short circuit.
Arching your back off the bed, you beg for him to undo the knots that were holding your hands hostage. He does so immediately, reaching over to each one and pulling the knots loose. Your arms wrap around him and dig your nails into the muscles in his back, pulling him closer to you so that he is basically on top of you. Your pussy clenches around his dick as his thrusts start to become sloppy.
“Gonna cum for me?” He asks, his hand dipping in between your bodies to rub your clit. This sent shockwaves of pleasure through your veins.
“Mhm.”
“That’s it,” He coos. “Doing so good for me.”
Your orgasm strikes you at his words and your walls clamp tightly around Benedict, triggering his own climax. He keeps lazily thrusting as he rides the waves of his orgasm before he finally comes to an end. His arms give out and he lies on top of you, unable to hold his weight anymore. Your hands come up to soothe him by running up and down his back while peppering kisses on his face.
“Did I hurt you?’’ He asks, scanning your face to see if there was any discomfort written in your features. There wasn’t any.
“I am not hurt.”
“I want you to know that I meant every word,” He says, resting his head on your sweaty chest. “I adore you and care for you very deeply. I hear that some people call it love.”
“I love you too.”
Benedict turns to look at you before pulling away to clean the two of you up. Once he was done, he laid right beside you in bed. Curling up on his chest, you close your eyes as sleep starts to call your name.
“I will figure out a way for us to be together and get married,” He whispers into the air. “If that is something that you would like.”
“I would love that,” You sigh. “But society will not be kind to us.”
“We will figure it out,” Benedict smiles, a part of him unsure if he can truly believe what he is saying. He knows that society will never approve, but that does not mean he will fail to try. “For now, let us get some rest. I have many art lessons to teach you later.”
Warnings: Smut, tension, Steve has a filthy mouth, oral (m&f), biting, finger sucking, fingering, choking, hair pulling, spitting, slight cum eating
Words: 3k+
Summary: Your hatred for Steve Harrington becomes too much.
Authors Note: I am so sorry for being gone for so long. I just lost motivation, hit a depression, but I am back and ready to get back to writing. Hope y'all didn't miss me that much!
His breathing. That was all it took and your blood was boiling. His ability to get under your skin was impressive given that the world as you know it may end. It truly was something to be impressed by, if it wasn't your skin that he was getting under. If it was not you who he sought out just to piss off, you might actually like him.
Steve Harrington. The man of the hour. The man who could ruin your day and your underwear with just a glance or a wink with that shit eating grin when he notices that your mood sours just at the sight of him. His perfect face. His perfect smile, his voice, and those perfect lips that become perfect shapes with each letter he says.
You watch him now as he walks around with a backwards baseball hat and is talking with his hands to Robin. She laughs at something he says and you look at him with frustration. You and Robin were supposed to go visit Vickie at the hospital, but Steve was holding your plans up. You have a book in your lap, not really reading anymore since you were supposed to be gone from the building twenty minutes ago.
Sighing, you stand up to stretch. Your shirt riding up as your arms reach above your head. Steve catches a glance at your exposed skin through the window of the WSQK as you stretch and he swallows before turning his gaze back to the rambling Robin in front of him, his eyes quickly glancing at you.
"...and it was just a cat," Robin laughs as she tells Steve about how Vickie freaked out the other day when they were walking down an alley. "Steve, are you listening?"
Her voice calling his name snaps him out of his trance and he nods quickly. He coughs and his eyes finally fall from your frame to look Robin in the eyes. He can't tell if she noticed because she goes back to rambling about Vickie and Steve's eyes are fighting to flicker over to you.
The day was not very eventful for you other than pulling the very early morning shift at the hospital before coming to collect your best friend from the radio station at the end of her shift, which by this point had ended almost an hour ago. You love Robin, she is your best friend, but you do not understand her friendship with Steve Harrington. He was an asshole.
After yet another thirty minutes of the two talking, you slam the book shut and walk to the little glass room that the pair is sitting in. You throw open the door and their laughing stops.
"Robin, I love you but if you do not get your shit together, I will be leaving you here," You say with a sigh. You already didn't like Steve, but him making your plans late was just another nail in the coffin.
"Oh, okay," She says, looking at the clock on the wall. "I didn't realize how late it had gotten."
Steve opens his mouth to apologize, but you throw him a glare that basically said that if he even said a word, you might hit him with your car. Robin gathers her things, whispering an apology to Steve and waves to him goodbye.
-----
"I just do not get why you don't like Steve," Robin says as she fixes her makeup in the car. "He is such a nice guy."
"Does it matter?"
She rolls her eyes.
"Yes, it does. You guys are always arguing. At this point, just fuck." She says as you slam on your breaks when a dog runs out into the road.
"Why would I want to sleep with him?," You ask as you press on the gas to move the car forward once the dog was off the road.
"Maybe because you are always staring at him like you might bite him."
"It's just his stupid smile and his fucking perfect everything that pisses me off."
"Yeah, cause it gets you all hot and bothered."
"That is not true," You try to defend yourself.
"Oh please, the two of you look at each other with so much sexual tension that it looks like he might eat you right in that moment."
You sigh and just go quiet.
----
The weekly game night came up very fast and the entire group, Robin, Nancy, Jonathan, and you met up at Steve's house for the event. You didn't really like Steve, this was known but your friends asked you to just behave this one night each week. No one knows why you don't like him, but after a while, it started to become entertainment.
"Can I please team up with someone else?" You ask, looking at Nancy for some back up. You received none.
"Scared that you wouldn't be able to control yourself if you are around me too long?" Steve asks from his seat, staring at you with something behind his eyes.
"Oh please, if you want me to fuck you, I would rather fucking a cheese grater."
"I never said anything about fucking-"
"You literally implied it."
"Trust me, you don't seem like that good of a fuck."
"If you think that I would even touch your dick, you have lost your fucking mind," You spit out. Your cheeks started to burn.
"Maybe once you get that stick out of your ass, then maybe you will change your mind," He grins, enjoying the twitch in your eye.
"Steve, maybe don't worry about what is in my ass because it isn't you."
Robin just shakes her head as the arguing keeps going. Everyone in the room watches as the two of you stand up and start walking toward each other.
"I didn't know that you thought of me like that. You have dirty thoughts about me?" Steve laughs with a dark look in his eyes as he looks up and down your frame.
"Are you seriously not getting enough below the pants action that it makes you delusional?" You quip, anger starting to flow through your veins.
"Like I would even want you to think about my di-"
Robin jumps up and asks if anyone needs a drink. The rest of the group all raise their glasses and decide to head to the kitchen themselves to get away from the arguing that is occurring in front of them.
While everyone is in the kitchen, you stare at Steve. His chest rising and falling with his breaths. You see that his eyes have darkened as he walked in a circle, trying to calm himself.
"You know something," He starts. "You would be so much likable if you would just shut the fuck up and listen to what you are told."
"Excuse me?" You ask. "What is that supposed to mean?"
"It means that I would like you more if you didn't have to fucking argue with me over everything."
"I'm sorry, last time I checked, I do not give a shit about what you like."
He looks at you and puts a hand on his hip.
"If you weren't such a bitch sometimes, you would be getting laid more often and wouldn't be a pain in my ass," He says, his eyes flickering to your lips.
You step closer to him, leaving just enough room between the two of you to breathe.
"I don't think I have a problem in that department," You taunt. "You are just mad that I would fuck everyone before you."
Steve lets out a breath that he didn't know that he was holding.
"So you are admitting that you are a slut?''
"Saying degrading things doesn't make you cool or hot, it makes you an asshole and a dick," You tell him, internally questioning what is happening.
"You're right, it doesn't make me cool or hot," He breathes. "But it does make your cunt soaked when I call you those things."
Your face burns because he isn't wrong. The man is attractive and he knows it. You have tried to pretend that you don't notice, but it is hard to do so when he just looks so fucking fuckable.
"Does that normally work on the other girls?"
"You tell me, is it working?''
You go silent and his hands are coming up to cup your jawline. You inhale deeply and stare into his eyes.
"Do you want me to fuck you?" He asks, his head tilting and his lips are so close to yours. "Fix that attitude and dirty mouth you have?"
You let out a sound that sounded like it came from the back of your throat. His hand holding your face slides into your hair and grips it tightly as he pulls your head back and runs his nose from the base of your neck to your ear.
With his mouth right at your ear, he whispers.
"Use your words or have you already gone that fucking dumb?''
You nod your head, as best as you can with his grip on your hair.
"That's not a fucking answer," He groans, his other hand moving to your hips to pull you closer against his body.
"Yes," You finally say.
----
When the rest of the group noticed that there wasn't any more yelling happening in the living room, they decided that it was time to return to hopefully finish the game that you guys had started. When they walked into the living room, you and Steve were sitting beside each other since the two of you were teamed up together. There was obvious tension, but manageable.
As you played the game, Steve's hand that was sitting on the couch started to graze the bottom of your back. His knee kept brushing up against yours and he kept giving you the same shit eating grin that he always did when he heard your breath hitch when his fingers touched your bare skin.
The game went as smooth as it could with the amount of tension in the room. The group left after a little while and it only left you and Steve in the empty house.
He closes the front door and locks it. His back to you as you stand in the hallway and watch his body movements carefully. He doesn't turn to you. He just stands there, in the dim lighting.
"Come here."
Your legs move without a second thought. You didn't even realize until you were right in front of him. He slowly turns around and his eyes fall on you.
"Get on your knees," he says as he takes off his shirt.
You drop immediately to the floor and look up at him through your lashes. He grabs your hair and pulls you closer so your face is pressed against his clothed dick. A soft moan falls from your lips when his grip tightens. Looking up at him, your hands come up and unbuckle his pants. Shoving them down, you pull his underwear down with him.
His hand is still in your hair when your mouth touches his cock for the first time. His head falls back against the door as you swallow him down. He is big, but you are determined to take as much as you can.
"Fuck," he groans, dragging out the word when your tongue presses against the underside of his dick.
Your hand comes up and runs down his chest as you start to bob up head up and down, his hand holding your hair for support. Steve's eyes close as he lets the feeling of your hot mouth enveloping his most sensitive area. His mouth falls open as a string of curses and moans come flooding out. His other hand, the one not in your hair, flies out and grabs the door handle with white knuckles.
Once he feels his orgasm approaching, he pulls you off of him and pulls you up to his mouth for a harsh kiss. This was the first kiss that you shared and it was nothing but rough. It was hot and messy as Steve fixed his pants and then walked you up the stairs to his bedroom. Once in his room, he pushes you onto the bed and starts pulling your pants off of your body.
Steve groans at the sight of your wet underwear, his hands parting your legs to give him a better view. You were wearing your favorite pair and there was a small wet spot in the middle and you moaned when his fingers came up to feel it. His middle finger looped in your panties and pulled them down your legs and he held them up to eye level with himself.
"Are you always this wet?" He asks. "Just soaking your panties when you see me?''
"Steve..."
"What do you need?''
"I need..."
"Use your words."
"I need you," You whimper.
"I'm right here, baby."
You groan in frustration as he moves your legs over his shoulders. He was taking his sweet time and it was driving you insane.
"Not where I need you."
"And where do you need me, baby?'' He slides a finger through your arousal and settled on making circles on your clit. "Right here?"
You answer him with a moan and he drives in. His tongue licks a wide stripe up your pussy and you bury your head into the pillow beside you. His tongue flicks over your clit as his two fingers slide into you with no warning. You squeeze your eyes closed as your orgasm starts to build higher and higher. Your moans start getting higher and higher in pitch, leading to Steve taking his free hand and shoving two of his fingers in your mouth.
You suck on his fingers, licking and holding his hand as he continues to finger you. His tongue never stopped and his eyes stayed on you.
"That feel good?" His question is answered with a moan and your walls clamping down on his fingers. "I'll take that as a yes."
His fingers slip out of your mouth when you start cursing and trying to warn him of your orgasm.
"Steve, I'm....I'm.."
"I got you baby, fucking cum for me."
At his words, your orgasm washes over you like a huge wave and Steve's fingers don't stop. Your body shakes as they continue to push in and out as you ride the waves of your climax for as long as it lasts.
Once your orgasm starts to settle, Steve removes the rest of his clothes and then yours. He moves in between your legs again and places harsh kisses on your chest and up your neck. He bites and then licks the wound before moving higher up your body. Making his way back to your lips, his cock nudges against your entrance and he pulls back enough to line himself up. His hand comes to wrap around your throat as he pushes himself inside of your body.
He is so big that it feels like you are splitting into two. He then pulls out, hand still on your throat and applying pressure, only to thrust all the way back in. Your back arches into his hairy chest and Steve's mouth finds yours yet again before setting a rough pace. His cock slid in and out of you harshly as Steve's lips moves down to your chest and took a nipple into his awaiting mouth. He sucks hard before biting the tender flesh, causing a yelp to be released from your mouth.
One of your hands comes up to his hair and the other rakes down his back, leaving red scratches in their path. Steve hisses at the sudden pain and his thrusts falter for a second before finding their way back to the punishing pace from before.
"Look at you," he teases. "Stretched out on my dick. All that big talk about not wanting to fuck me, yet here you are begging for me to make you cum."
You moan at his words, knowing deep down that they are true. You wrap your legs around his back and he hits that spot inside of you that makes you see stars.
"Fuck, Steve." You throw your head back into the pillow as he starts to leave open mouthed kisses on your neck, moving his hand down to rub circles on your clit.
"See, you can be likable," he says. "Just needed to treat you like the slut you are and you stop bitching about everything that I say."
"Fuck, you're squeezing me so good."
"You feel so fucking good."
"Oh God, Steve," You moan, feeling your orgasm approaching fast.
"That's it, say my name," He groans when he feels his own orgasm hitting him.
"Fuck, tell me how good I'm making you feel. Let me hear you," His thrusts start to become sloppier and less accurate. "Cum on my dick, I know you can baby."
Your entire body tightens up and you finally let go. As you do, your mouth forms an O-shape and Steve takes that as a chance to take his hand and tilts your head up and spit into your mouth.
Watching you swallow, Steve's orgasm hits and he thrusts as far as he can and stills inside of you as hot spurts of cum fills you up. He stays like that for a minute, hovering above you as he tries to clear his lust filled mind. He sits up, still inside of you, and chuckles.
"Maybe you weren't that bad of a fuck after all," he chuckles.
"You are one to talk," You laugh. "Surprised that you even knew what you were doing."
"So you admit that it was good?"
"I don't know,'' You tease. "I might need to try it again before coming to that decision."
Steve pulls out and watches as his cum pours out of you. His fingers come up to your abused pussy and shoves his cum back in. He does this a couple of times before taking his finger and sucking the mess off. His eyes close and he looks like he is savoring the taste of you and his cum mixed together.
"So fucking greedy," He says as he crawls over you to kiss you.
Summary: The time has finally come for you to attend a Bridgerton wedding, but as the bride. After everything you have gone through this season, the closing will be worth the wait.
Warnings: SO MUCH Fluff, slight angst, wedding, the vows are kinda long, soft honeymoon smut, pet names (Anthony calling the reader viscountess, sweetheart, and his wife), oral (f)
The joining of one Viscount Bridgerton and his bride will be an extravagant moment. After the ending of Miss Edwina Sharma and Viscount Anthony Bridgerton's short engagement, this author is delighted to declare for those who missed the last ball, that the viscount will marry none other than his previously fiance's sister. It is well known that this author does enjoy a good scandal, but one that ends in happiness? That is often unheard of. Congratulations to the pair as they embark on this journey, this author wishes them well.
-Lady Whistledown
-----
Your heart flutters when you lift your hand into the air in front of you, seeing the glistening diamond sitting on your finger. It felt like a dream, the same floating feeling that you got when Anthony proposed. You can still hear his words drifting through the air when you close your eyes; like a melody crafted only for you to hear, to understand, and to feel deep in your soul.
Once your engagement had occurred, Edwina and Kate quickly hugged you and both had tears in their eyes.
"I'm so happy for you," Kate cried. "Oh, I am so glad this scandal proved to be fruitful."
"My sister, I am wishing you the best of luck," Edwina said. "Please live and share your life, one that brings much happiness."
-----
Violet was stressing to the point of which she could not tell you if she had slept in three days. The biggest event of the season was happening, her son's wedding. Daphne was coming to town with Simon, Benedict has been drinking his days away at the academy with his friends, Colin will not stop moping about Penelope leaving after the wedding for the summer, and to top it all off, the rest of her children are being rowdy and acting as if they are heathens.
Violet sits in the drawing room, trying to collect her thoughts when Anthony came in. His jaw was clean shaven, hair trimmed neatly, and he was wearing one of his regular outfits.
"Anthony, darling?"
"Yes, mother?" Anthony replies.
"While I am happy that you have finally realized that you truly loved your bride, could you not have done it a bit sooner?" She chuckles, breathing a sigh.
"Mama, I do not understand what you mean."
She looked up at him as though he had just said the sky is green.
"Anthony, you decided that you were going to marry a completely different woman, four days before the wedding and I am having to change everything about the wedding because she may not like the choices her mother and I had made for Edwina's wedding."
"She would not mind," He said, trying to bring comfort to his mother. "She would enjoy the wedding even if it had three donkeys and the priest was a cow."
"Anthony, I will not have you marry a girl with the wedding plans that were made for not only a different woman, but her sister." Violet rolled her eyes.
A butler comes into the room to announce that Lady Mary Sharma, the Sharma sisters' mother, had arrived.
Violet welcomed her with a hug and two women awkwardly stared at Anthony as though he was supposed to take a hint and leave the room, which he eventually caught on and did.
"It is so nice to work on this wedding with you," Mary said. "It is upsetting that we have to change everything, but I know my daughter."
Violet nodded and then pointed to different flowers, colors of clothes, and lights. The two women eventually started to build a wedding that suited you and your groom.
----
You are woken up by Edwina and Kate to start the wedding preparations. First, you started with a bath. Your lady's maid helped heat the water and threw in a few rose petals. She left you some privacy so that you could do the bathing yourself. With every drag of the cloth against your skin, you felt your skin become anew.
Once the bath was over, you were dried, clothed in a nightgown and then your hair started to be braided and there were pins with gems placed delicately in your hair, making it shine like diamonds. Your makeup was applied, giving you a soft glow. A lip tint was applied to give your lips a pinker color and you smiled through the process.
You see the wedding dress that you had fitted and made two days ago sitting on your wardrobe and you felt giddy because this was actually happening to you. You would marry the man you had fallen in love with since the day you met him.
---
Benedict stood in front of his brother with a tie in his hands, his thumb circling on the fabric. Anthony stood in the middle of his room and was fiddling with his collar.
"Brother, would you stop messing with your shirt?" He asked. "If you keep going, I will be the one getting nervous and I am not the one getting married."
Anthony frowned a bit, knowing the sadness behind his brother's last sentence. He remembers Benedict's face when he told him that he was marrying you. It broke his heart watching his brother be happy for him, not being able to shake the guilt of his sins.
Benedict smiled as he walked up to Anthony, fixing the collar of his shirt, and then placing the tie around Anthony's neck. As his hands moved the fabric around, he looked at Anthony with admiration and pride.
"Anthony, I have never been so proud of you."
"Brother-"
"I am not about to be depressing, but I truly marvel your bravery and everything about you," Benedict says. "You're my big brother and I know Father would be very proud of you."
Anthony, with tears in his eyes, hugs his little brother and quietly cries. Benedict pulls away and shakes his head.
"I do believe that that is enough. We need to focus on getting you ready for your big day," Benedict says.
With that, Colin walks in completely dressed and throws his hands up in the air.
"How am I dressed before you and it's not even my wedding?"
----
Two carriages make their journey to the church. Each carriage rolled to a new step in two people's lives, each time the wheels rolled, the closer to eternity they became. Church bells rang, the streets crowded with people cheering and waving as the carriages passed.
---
Anthony stepped out of his carriage and walked inside with his mother on his arm. Violet smiled at his son, pride and happiness blossomed in her heart as she stared at her first born make this step to his future.
"Are you nervous?" She asked.
"Were you nervous when you walked down the aisle to Father?" He asked.
"I was very nervous," She replied. "I remember staring at those doors for minutes and trying so hard not to run away because I was scared that he wouldn't like my dress. My mother held my hand as I took my steps to the love of my life and what happened to be the scariest moment of my life, also happened to be the greatest decision I had ever made."
"Do you think she will think the same?" Anthony asks.
"Please do not tell me, you do not want to go through with the wedding," Violet sighed with a roll of her eyes.
"Never in a million years," Anthony smiled.
The last church bell rang and it signaled that the bride's carriage had arrived. Anthony stared at the doors ahead of him and took in a deep breath. He prayed to the Lord that today, his bride would be right behind those doors and not running away.
----
You did not feel nerves until you walked with your family to the doors that separated you from the love of your life, your home. You let out a deep breath as you watched your sisters line up as the bridesmaids and as your mother moved to walk away, you grab her hand, silently begging her to not leave you. She nodded and stood beside you. She moved your veil over your head, hiding your features because the first person you want to see you is your husband.
The first notes of the piano started to play, then the violin and cello started to blend in and the doors opened.
---
Anthony swore that his breath was knocked out of him when he saw your figure covered in the veil. Despite not being able to see your face, he could tell you were smiling and he felt the sting of tears form in his eyes. His lips quivered, his heart started pounding, and it felt as if he could not breathe because he was so overcome with emotions.
Violet stood in front of her seat and proudly watched her son fall apart at the sight of his beautiful bride. She remembers seeing Edmund's face for the first time, his eyes red from tears, his smile never leaving his face. She saw it all in her son Anthony's face, and she quickly closed her eyes and send a thank you to Edmund as tears rolled down her cheek.
----
The first step was the scariest, at least that is what they say. When you took your first step, you was less than a year old. Making your way into this world, not knowing what would be held for you in the future. Now, when you take your first step, you are taking your first step to a future of love and a mystery because for the first time, you are not taking this step alone. You will have Anthony.
You glide down the aisle, tears and cheers are surrounding you, but you can only focus on one person. You reach the stairs and turn to your mother and kiss her cheek through the veil. You hand her the flowers and Anthony extends his hand, which you take. You climb the three stairs and stand in front of him. His hands are shaking as he slowly lifts your veil, revealing the top of your dress, your shoulders, the slope of your neck, and then slowly, your face is revealed and Anthony almost gasps as he sees the face of his viscountess.
He struggles with words before settling on nodding his head to you with the brightest smile. The two of you turn to the priest and he starts his speech. You can barely listen as you feel the heat of Anthony's hand in yours and you can't help but keep looking over to see Anthony already staring back at you. The priest eventually said that it is time for the vows and you smile to Anthony. You start with your own, smiling through the tears.
"My Dearest Anthony,
As I stand before you today, I am filled with a love that is more profound than words could ever truly capture. You, who are so fierce in your love and so gentle in your care, have shown me the truest meaning of devotion.
Today, I vow to be the woman you deserve. I will stand by you in moments of joy and hold you in times of sorrow. No matter where life leads us, I will follow, for my heart has found its home in yours.
I promise to laugh with you, even in the darkest of days, and to dance with you in the lightest of moments. I will celebrate your triumphs as my own, and lift you up when you need strength.
I vow to trust you with my heart, to respect you with all that I am, and to love you with a depth that will only grow stronger with time. You are my heart’s desire, my companion, my love—and I will cherish you in this life and beyond."
You finish with an almost sob as the tears build in your eyes with the intense emotions that course through your body. Anthony who was trying to keep his tears at bay, broke down crying as you draw your vows to a close. The priest turns to Anthony and nods for him to begin his own vows.
"My dear,
I have been known to not be good with words, but from I am able to put together, I know that there are not words in this world that could describe the love and happiness that I feel when I am with you.
On this day, I am making a promise to you and to myself that I will hold you when you experience sorrow, to lead you when you can not see the path, to protect you from not only the world around us, but from the doubts and fears that come with life's uncertainties.
I promise to cherish you, to love you, and be there for you when no one else can be. Before you, it felt as though there was no air, I was suffocating without you and know I can breathe. Before you, my heart was homeless, but now it knows that there is a home for it and that home is with you.
Today, I am promising to be more than just your husband. I am promising to be your friend in the hardships, your protector in life's stormy weather, your companion in sorrow, and most of all, I am promising to be your person.
For all of my life, I marveled at the love my mother and father had. I was scared that I could not find that love and I realize that I did not have to find that love, because you found me. If this is how my father felt when he married my mother, then I know that I can die a happy man.
I promise to honor you not only as my partner, but as my equal. To laugh with you in times of joy, and to support you in times of sorrow. I will strive to be the man you deserve, both in the grand moments and in the quiet ones that we share in the comfort of our home."
There were quiet tears coming from the crowd, but nothing was heard as the world melted away from the two of you and Anthony's hand comes up to your face to wipe away a tear from your cheek. The priest concluded the service with a:
"You may now kiss the bride."
Anthony smiles before placing his hands on your cheeks and pulling you into a passionate kiss as the church erupted with cheers and the sounds of hands clapping. You smiled into the kiss as Anthony wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you fully into him and you felt his lips curl into a smile.
You pull away and his forehead rests against yours, then the two of you make your way down the aisle, cheers surrounding you as you move to the carriage that will take you to the country house. You smile and wave to everyone as the carriage drives away.
---
You press a kiss to Anthony's neck as he holds your waist. Your dress pools around you and you can't help but nuzzle up against your husband. His hand is gripping your hip as you sit beside him and you smile because you were finally a Bridgerton and your husband was the man you loved.
When the carriage stopped in front of the country home, Anthony stepped out first, and then offered a hand to you so that you too could step out. As soon as your feet hit the ground, Anthony swooped you up and carried you to the house as you giggled in his arms.
He took you to the entrance and then you demanded him to place you back on the ground. He complied and you walked into the home with his hand in yours. He lead you up to the bedroom where the two of you would sleep and he walked you in. Inside the bed was on the left side of the room, a wardrobe was on the right with a desk beside it. There was a large mirror on the wall beside the bed. The windows were open, allowing the sunset's light to creep into the room, casting shadows in the room. As you looked around the room from your spot, Anthony came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist.
His lips pressed a kiss to the base of your neck, trailing to the side as your head tipped further to the right so his mouth would have more access. His hands made quick work at unbuttoning your dress and untying the strings. The fabric became looser as his mouth continued its assault on your skin. Soon enough, the fabric started to be pushed down your body, revealing more and more skin with every push and pull of Anthony's hands.
Once the dress was off, you were left in your undergarments and Anthony spun you around so that your lips would connect in a passionate kiss. His tongue quickly found yours and began a fight for dominance, which you gladly handed over to him. Your body buzzed with arousal as Anthony started to move lower with his hands, slowly walking you back to the bed.
When your knees hit the bed, you slowly leaned back and Anthony's body followed. His hands wandered up your sides and slowly started to pull the rest of your clothes off your body. Once you were completely bare, you realized that he was still fully dressed. Slowly, you sit up so you can pull his clothes away from his body. Neither of you have said a word because everything that needs to be said can be heard through the touches on each other's body.
Every kiss is an 'I love you'. Every touch is a sign of desire. Every breath is a promise for more. As the layers between your bodies disappears, Anthony moves his kisses further down your body. Over your stomach, your thighs, and then where you have needed him most. He spreads your thighs and moans at the sight of your pussy.
"Oh fuck, sweetheart," He moans as he gently spreads the lips of your cunt and sees the glistening slick. In the now moonlight, your ring glints against the light as your slick shines in the light.
Anthony then lowers his head, keeping his eyes locked on your face, and then slowly licks a flat stripe up your pussy. Your head is thrown back into the pillows as he starts to make out with your most sensitive area while your body shakes. His tongue presses against your clit and when he sucks it into his mouth, you let out a loud moan of pleasure.
"That's it, my viscountess, feel the pleasure that I bring you."
The sound of your new title on his sinful lips is enough to bring you right to the edge and he grins devilishly as he double-downs his efforts and your climax hits you like a train. Your hands that were gripping the sheets on the bed, shoot out to grip his hair and the pillow above you. When you looked down, you see Anthony kissing up your body again and then his lips covers your.
His hands move your legs to wrap around his hips and you feel him pressed against your core, causing your body to shake with anticipation. One of his hands comes to smooth your hair out of your face and off your forehead from the the sweat that collected there. You watch as he then places that hand on the headboard and the other to guide his cock into your hole. You whimper when you feel the tip pressed against you and then when he slides in, your head lolls to the side, allowing you to catch a glance of the two of you in the mirror on the wall.
You watch him in the mirror as he pushes his hips forward, his muscles flexing as he holds himself still for you. Your legs tighten around his hips so that he knows to move and he does. He pulls almost all the way out and then pushes back in. You let out a moan as your heels dig into his ass, pulling him closer to you, never wanting him to leave your body.
Anthony's mouth finds your neck and starts kissing down to your collarbone, biting there when he hits a particular spot inside you and your pussy clenches around him.
"Fuck, sweetheart, a little bit of a warning would be nice," He chuckles as you moan when his hand moves in between your bodies to circle your clit.
"Oh God," You moan comes out a bit higher pitch than you expected.
Anthony chuckles, his brown eyes staring deep into yours as he keeps his slow, but deep pace.
"It seems my little wife can't remember that my name is Anthony."
Your orgasm is literally right there and with a few more words from Anthony, you feel it washing over you. Pleasure courses through your veins and makes your blood boil as you come with a shout of your husband's name. Anthony's orgasm get triggered and he shakes above you, holding your hand through his climax and whispering 'I love you' as his body shakes from the activities that he just participated in.
The two of you stay like that for just a few more minutes, your hands running up and down his back to help calm him, his body twitching with every gesture. You sigh happily as you whisper that you love him and that he did so good. He finally pulls out and moves away from you so he can lay down on his side of the bed.
You curl into him and the room falls silent as the two of your just breathe in each other. Nothing has to be said because your silence is understood.
"So, Viscountess Bridgerton, how do you like the married life?" Anthony asks with a cheesy grin on his face.
"Well I am not quite sure," You giggle.
Anthony looked at you, appalled by your words, and then he rolls you on top of him.
"Well, I see I am already lacking in the husband department," He jokes.
You lean in and kiss him deeply.
"Not yet. Not even close."
"Well, it is a good thing that I have forever to make do with our time as husband and wife." He says as he pulls you into a deeper kiss.
Warnings: small Angst, fluff, engagement, Edwina forgives reader, Violet being the best mother ever at helping her child, Reader getting Queen Charlotte's approval, reader struggles with her feelings for Anthony and wanting to give him up, Anthony is struggling with Benedict not speaking to him despite forgiving him.
A/N: This is Part 1 of Anthony's ending with the reader. The next part will be his wedding. After Anthony's wedding, it will Benedict's Part 1 of his ending. Once Benedict Part 1 is complete, his wedding will follow after.
A/N (2): I am so sorry that it took so long. I have been busy and just struggling with writers block so I hope this is a good read and I do apologize for taking so long.
Songs:
Wildest Dreams: Taylor Swift
Do I Wanna Know: Hozier Cover (highly recommend listening to with this)
Sweet Creature: Harry Styles (kinda)
Daylight: David Kushner
Summary: Edwina announces at Lady Danbury's ball that she is not marrying Anthony. The ton is shocked, but Anthony announces that he is still to be married. And the entire ton looks around, which of the lucky ladies will be the new viscountess?
The following morning was one that crept upon someone very slowly. It was raining and the entire world fell silent as you laid in bed, having Edwina curled beside you as you stroked her hair. After the storm last night, she was left frightened. Right before she fell asleep, she whispered her forgiveness to you. That small phrase left you awake all night as the actions that you and Anthony had committed replayed in your mind as you knew that you could never forgive yourself as Edwina had done to you.
Getting out of bed, you go about your usual day excluding the fact that your sisters did not seem to be as excited to start the day. Kate mumbled about wanting to sleep all day, but you dragged her out of bed so her wild curls could be brushed.
Edwina was rather difficult to get out of bed as she too turned over in her bed when you opened the curtains to allow the little bit of sun that peaked through the rain, into the room. You made mention that Lady Whistledown had written an article about Lady Danbury's ball and how she expects us to attend.
"Do we really have to go?" Kate asked. At this point, she was tired of dancing with uninteresting men.
"Yes, we must," Edwina says. "I have a new dress that I want to take out for a spin."
"Ah yes, it must be nice having the Bridgerton money!" You laughed.
Your two sisters turned their heads sharply to face you, Kate having a scowl written on her features.
"Sorry, I suppose it is still rather early to make jokes."
At your words, Edwina laughs with her entire body. She laughs so hard that tears form in her waterline.
"Oh my, sister!" She laughed. "You are quite funny!"
You look at Kate confused, hoping that your older sister would say something but she shrugged before walking out the door.
----
Anthony was in distraught. He knew that he needed to make amends with Edwina before ending the engagement. He felt horrible but he knew that he had no one else to blame but himself. He knew that he was completely to blame, but he also felt relieved as this journey had lead him on a path of self-discovery and it made him feel slightly better because now he knows that he is ready to have a marriage with love at the center, he just wished that it didn't have to be at the expense of two sisters.
With Benedict not speaking to him, Anthony was quite at his wits end. The only way that they could communicate is through Colin and he grumbled every time one of the older brothers demanded him to give the other a message.
"Brother, has it occurred to you that perhaps this is your own doing?" Colin asked as he grumbled about another message.
"Well, no Colin, that thought hasn't crossed my mind but only a billion times already," Anthony said, pouring the two a drink. "I have tried apologizing and though he has said that he forgives me, he will not speak to me directly."
Colin takes a swig of his drink and then looks to Anthony again. "Brother, you had sex with a lady and then he too had intimate relations with the same woman," He says. "Not to forget that you then carried the affair even after you knew that the two had shared a bed."
"Couch." Anthony corrects, causing Colin to groan and roll his eyes.
"See brother, it is this very attitude that keeps the two of you apart. Now if Benedict said to make things right with the two Sharma sisters, then by all means please do but do not be angry with Benedict for being hurt."
After Colin left the office, Anthony was left with only his thoughts and the uncomfortable lump in his throat as he thought about what he will do next.
---
Violet Bridgerton was sitting in the drawing room embroidering a pillow for Eloise when Anthony walked in, stress evident on his face. She looked up at her son and then placed the pillow onto the couch beside her. Standing up, she smooths her dress and then walks over to her son and places her hand on his cheek.
“My sweet beautiful boy, what plagues your mind so hauntedly that you look as though you have not slept in three days?’’ She asks softly and at her words, Anthony’s entire resolve crumbles.
Violet lets out a soft gasp of surprise as Anthony’s frame sinks against her and she holds her child in her arms as Anthony’s arms wrap around his mother to feel her comfort as his entire body shakes with tears streaming down his face. He wanted to be strong and hold himself together, but the overwhelming fear of being a disappointment for his mother overcame him and he cried in her arms for a few minutes.
“It’s okay, my dear, just breathe,” She coos gently, helping Anthony calm down. “Tell me what is bothering you.”
Anthony looks at his mother and tells her everything that has been happening between him and Miss Sharma. He explains the issue with the engagement and how he is not happy because the one woman that he loves is the sister of his betrothed. Violet listens to all of this before stopping him when he mentions Edmund.
“My dear, it would pain your father to know that you are refusing the love of a woman because you simply proposed to the wrong woman,” She says. “Now I will say this only as your mother because it pains me to see you so distraught. I did not raise you to behave this way, but everyone makes mistakes and though yours is a messy mistake, there is a way for you to make it right.”
“How? Please tell me because I can not for the life of me find the solution, I feel as though my heart controls my mind and my mind has no control over anything.”
“Marry the sister whom you love.” She says before patting his cheek. “Listen to your heart and do what it tells you, it will lead you down the right path.”
---
Dresses twirl with every glide that a lady takes, a gentleman’s shoes thud against the floor with every step. The ladies and gentlemen of the ton were all collected at Lady Danbury’s ball and one might say that it was the best of the season yet. There were flowers and vibrant colors everywhere. It seemed as though the lights were made of diamonds and the ladies under them were made of the most precious jewels.
Walking in with Edwina and Kate by your side, you scan the room to find the beverage table because you could already feel the tightening in your throat when you see Benedict Bridgerton dancing with another woman. You hope that he doesn’t see you, but he already has and is saying goodbye to the lady he was dancing with.
“I think I will go get us some lemonade,” You tell your sisters before practically running away.
Grabbing a drink, you make a beeline for the furthest corner in the room and try to hide from the Bridgerton. Sadly, he found you.
"Miss Sharma," He says. "Your gown is lovely."
"Thank you, Mr. Bridgerton." You say with a smile.
"I want you to know that I am giving you permission to marry Anthony," He says and you look at him dumbfounded. "I know it is him who you love and desire so I will not stand in yours or his way of happiness."
"Benedict-"
"Please let me explain," He says quickly. "Over the years after our father's death, I have watched Anthony become a shell of the man that once was my brother. He became the man of the house and I have never seen him truly happy since. After finding out that he had been with you, I was angry but when I heard him speak about you, I knew that I was delaying my brother from getting the life he deserves."
"Benedict, I-"
"I'm sorry, but I need to finish this." Benedict says before clearing his throat. "I may have fallen in love with you, Miss Sharma, but you do not love me the same. I may act like a heathen, but my mother did raise me to treat women with respect so I will never expect you to pretend to feel something you do not. If you do not end up at the alter with my brother, any man who gets to be opposite of you should be a man who treats you as you deserve, and I am disappointed that I can not be that man but you deserve a man who you love. I want to thank you for your appearance in my life and I also want to thank you for making my brother start to become the man that I once remembered him to be."
You go to speak before he bows his head to you and then walks away. You stand there appalled as tears threaten to fill your eyes and you have to blink them away. Suddenly the air in the room becomes too thick, the sounds of laughter from the guests become too much so you make your escape out the side door and Edwina catches sight of you while she dances with the son of an earl.
As you are rounding a corner, you collide with a strong body and slightly stumble back before the man's hand steadiest you. Despite the gloves, you recognized the owner of the hands before looking up into those brown eyes that you began to call home before your world collapsed.
"Lord Bridgerton," You bow and wait for him to speak.
"Miss Sharma, are you all right?" He asks. "I had not seen you there when I walked around the corner."
It had been a few weeks since you had seen Anthony and he had a bit of stubble that he hadn't shaved that morning. You felt your heart clench at the reminder that he was not yours. This was the last ball before his wedding to your sister and you were beginning to dread it all together.
"It was my own fault, my Lord," You say with a nervous smile.
"Would you care to share a dance?"
"I would love to."
---
His arms wrap gently around your frame, holding you close to his strong body. His face is inches away from you, his breath fans your cheek as you hold yours because this will be the last time you will ever be held by him in this way after tonight. You close your eyes and just feel his body against yours.
As your bodies sway and move with the music, you try to commit every part of this moment to your memory because that is all this moment will be, a memory that you will hold close to your heart for the rest of your life.
Opening your eyes, you look deep into Anthony's brown ones and find a longing gaze resting there. Your heart beats faster as the song picks up pace and Anthony grabs your hand to spin you around so that your back is pressed to his chest and his arm is pressed against your torso.
Your head naturally tilts to expose your neck and Anthony dips his head slightly, not enough to be noticed, but enough to inhale the scent of your perfume. You inhale deeply as a fires is light inside your body. Anthony spins you back around and you collide with his chest and you wrap your arms around his neck, highly unlady like, before moving them away from him. His arms are wrapped around you and he looks down at your doe like eyes as you blink up at him. His breathing shallows and you give him one more longing look, communicating very ounce of love and desire that you hold for him in your heart as the song comes to a slow end and the two of you separate.
You bow and then for what feels like the last time, you look at him before turning away and going to stand by Kate as you silently suffer through the feeling of longing alone.
---
Watching Edwina and Anthony dance and laugh to each other was torture for you and Kate watching you watch them hurt her. You stood there, eyes never leaving Edwina and Anthony as they spun around the room. She looked as though she was telling him something important, most likely about the wedding. While the two of them were smiling, they did not seem real. These two were to be married and Edwina got nervous at these events to it very well could have been nerves.
"Staring at them like you are jealous is not a good look for you, sister." Kate says with a teasing grin. "The green monster is not a very good look on you."
"When do you go back to India?" You ask with a smile.
"After the wedding," Kate says.
"Well thank goodness."
A man comes up to you. He has brown hair that is slightly curly and he is attractive.
"Miss Sharma, could I offer you a dance?" He asks with a small smile.
You decide that you like his smile.
"Yes of course," You agree and take his hand.
Leading you out onto the dance floor, you learn his name is Henry and that he has six younger siblings. He tells you that he hopes to have a family with his bride and that he hopes to get a dog.
"Miss Sharma, what are your hobbies?" He asks.
"My hobbies?"
"Yes. I would like to know more about you and your mind."
"I enjoy reading and writing."
"Could I perhaps read some of your work?"
"I'm not very skilled," You confess.
"Nonsense," He smiles and you found yourself smiling. "I'm sure your writing is just as beautiful as you.''
---
Anthony watches you from where he is dancing with Edwina. His dark eyes bore into the skull of the man who has you in his arms. Not very subtle of him to be glaring in your direction.
"And I think that we should not be married," Edwina states as she looks up at Anthony.
"I agree," He says, his eyes still trained on you. "Marriage between the two of us would be miserable on both parts."
"Anthony, will you at least look at me? Glancing at my sister while dancing with your soon to be wife is not a good look."
"I apologize."
"Oh please, spare me the sob apologizes," Edwina says. "You are not really sorry that the two of you betrayed me, but because you got caught when the stakes got too high."
"Edwina, I never meant to hurt you-"
"Spare me the details, Anthony." She rolled her eyes. "The two of you love each other and that is all there is to it."
"Are you angry?"
"Angry? At her, no. Not any more any way." She shrugged. "My sister has always put me before her every time so I do not blame her for falling for your charms and finally putting herself first. I am however angry with the fact that neither of you thought to tell me that you loved each other."
"I didn't want to mess up our plan of marriage."
"Well, I am glad I am not marrying you because if I was, this would hurt a lot more."
Edwina sees a man dancing with you and sees the change in Anthony's eyes as he stares from across the room.
"Who is that?"
---
"Don't they look perfect?' Henry asks after catching your eyes on the couple.
"Yes, they do." You say with a hint of sadness.
"I hope to find a love match like theirs," he says as he looks at you. "It's not every day that you find someone to spend your life with."
"It is not," You say. "Some times, you fall for someone who you can never possess resulting in the same fate."
"I was hoping-"
"Henry, you are a nice man, but my heart lies somewhere else. I am terribly sorry."
"Miss Sharma, I do not fault you for your heart being with another man," He says, moving a loose strand of hair out of your face. "Love does funny things to a person and it is very evident that you have a desire to be with a certain person. I do wish you the best of luck, Miss Sharma. Good day."
He walks away from you in the middle of the dance floor and you watch as everyone else in the room seem to have eyes on you as they spun around you. Walking off the dance floor, you find Kate and ask about Edwina.
"She is currently about to give her speech."
Turning to the center of the room, the Queen looks around confused as Edwina clinks a spoon against her glass to get everyone's attention.
"Hello everyone," She says. "As some of you know, I am Edwina Sharma and I am engaged currently to Viscount Bridgerton, at least I was."
Gasps fill the room and everyone's eyes cling to her frame. Anthony joins her at the center of the room.
"That is true," He confirms. "Our hearts do not beat the same rhythm, thus not following the same path."
"I wanted a love match, and Anthony's heart doesn't not hold love for me," Edwina continues.
"Edwina and I are trying to say that we will not have a wedding in three days time. There will not be a wedding between the two of us," Anthony says.
Edwina walks away from Anthony and returns by Kate's side and looks at you from across the room. You stare at her with disbelief. She said that she wanted to marry him and yet she just publically ended their engagement before the entire ton, including the Queen.
Anthony stands in the center of the floor with all eyes on him. Queen Charlotte stands up and all eyes shift to her.
"Well, that was a turn in events," She says. "Lord Bridgerton, would you care to enlighten me on who it is you will be marrying? After all, who would be a better pick than the lady I choose for you?"
Anthony nods and walks into the crowd. His eyes are fixed on you and you feel your breathing stop. He can't be serious. There is no way that he would do this to you.
Anthony stops right in front of you and gives you that boyish grin that made you fall in love with him. All eyes are on the two of you, but it feels as though it is only you and Anthony in the room. He takes your hand in his and lifts it to his lips, and a gasp rang out from the crowd as his lips touch your gloved hand.
You feel the warmth of his lips through the gloves and a blush overtakes your face. He then guides you to the room, his eyes never leaving yours. His face is filled with warmth and it appears as if he is melting before you. Everything moves in slow motion because it feels like forever before you make it to the center of the room before the Queen.
You nervously curtsy and bow your head before her. Anthony slips your arm in his and he looks up to the Queen.
"My heart belongs with her. She is who I will marry."
"Heart touching, really, but does she want to marry you, Anthony?" Queen Charlotte asks. "I have not yet heard you ask that question."
The crowds eyes shift back to the two of you and then back to the Queen.
Anthony turns to you and pulls out the wedding ring from his mother. The very ring that his father gave to her when they wed. He moves in front of you and gives you a smile before dropping to one knee.
"Miss Y/N Sharma, our love has not been easy," He starts. "Our love has been shaky and difficult, but I could never ask for a better person to go through this journey of life with. I want to dance with you at every ball. I want to wake up beside you and lie down beside you every night. My heart tells me that you are the one for me, that you are my person. So I ask you, in front of the ton, in front of the Queen, and most importantly your family, I ask will you marry me?"
Tears pour down you face as you struggle for words. Silence fills the air as everyone waits for your answer. You look at Anthony and feel your heart swell. Anthony looks up at you with devoted love and admiration as he waits for your response. The crowd erupts with cheer and claps when the word leaves your lips.
Hello! I only wanted to ask if there will be a next chapter for To Be Alone With You?
Oh, I just wanted to let you know as well that you write so beautifully!
Yes there will be another part of the series. I decided to take a break for a little while. I will be getting back to writing the rest of the series shortly. And thank you so much 😊
Me again, I live for the virgin reader stories. Anyways. Could you do a sam one kinda like the Dean story? Please and thanks!
Sam Winchester x virgin!female!reader
Warnings: SMUT, virgin reader, oral (f), fingering, dirty talk, Sam physically having to hold himself back to keep from going rough, kissing, cursing, biting, a lot of mentions of Sam's strength (I just want to bite his bicep), slight hair pulling, fluff at the end :)
Summary: After a year of dating, you finally ask Sam to take your virginity.
Lips move together in sync as his hands are in your hair, pulling slightly as he gets lost in the feeling of you. Your body moves against his in a dragging movement as your hips ground against his, pulling soft whimpers from your lips all the while pulling low grunts from deep within his throat.
Sam pulls away from the kiss so that his mouth finds your neck, one of his hands moving from your hair to your ass, pulling it up slightly so that he can grind his hips against your core. His mouth is hot against your skin and your head lulls back as his teeth graze your collarbones, his shirt slipping down your shoulder as you continue to move against him.
Hot pants and gasps escape your lips as your hand moves into his growing hair to gently scrape your nails against this scalp, earning a quiet moan from the tall man. The bed beneath you creaked lightly as your body weights moved on the mattress. What was supposed to be the two of you watching a movie turned out to be a very heated make out session, leading to your insides burning with desire for the strong brunette that currently was moving you against him like you weighted nothing.
"Sam," You whimper against the air, mouth hanging open as Sam mouths at the top part of your chest, never going further.
Sam grunts in acknowledgment for you to continue your thoughts. In moments like this, you can start to ramble when your heated sessions reach this point. This time, he feels that you're about to tell him to return to your lips or you want to stop so he goes ahead and starts to pull away.
To his surprise, the hand in his hair pushes him back down to your breasts and you gasp when his mouth makes contact with the top half due to his shirt slipping further off your body.
"Sam, do not stop." Your moans get higher as you ground your soaked pussy to his jean covered dick. You continued to hump him as you started to chase that tightening feeling in your core.
"Baby, I have to stop before you do something you aren't ready for," Sam says as he lifts your hips off of him and you groan in frustration.
"Sam, I am ready," You say with a pout, tears forming in your eyes because of the denied orgasm.
"Are you completely sure?" He asks, not wanting you to feel pressured to take that next step, no matter how badly his dick hurt from the constant teasing.
"Sam, I want you to take my virginity. I'm ready and I want it to be with you."
His hands move slowly down your body as Sam kisses you softly, your head pressing into the pillow as your close your eyes to concentrate on the pleasure you are feeling. Your shirt is still on but barely doing much to cover your modesty. His hands trace your sides before gently grabbing the bottom of your shirt, pulling his lips away from yours to kiss your neck.
"Can I remove this?" He asks, breathlessly and you nod a yes.
"Words, sweetheart."
"Please," You whimper, your hand coming up to his hair to pull him up to your lips again. He moves away from your body before asking you again.
"If you do not use your words, baby, I will stop right now and we can go back to watching the movie. I will not do anything without getting a "yes" so that I have verbally been told."
"Yes, you can remove my shirt, Sam." You answer.
"Good girl," He says, pulling your shirt up over your head, his knuckles running up your body as the piece of fabric is removed.
"So beautiful," He says, his lips returning to your neck, sucking gently before biting gently. His left hand comes up to turn your face away from him so he can have better access to your neck as he moves down, kissing your skin as he does. His right hand holds him above you as his lips caress your sweat covered skin as his other hand slowly finds your breast, giving it a soft squeeze.
"You have absolutely no idea how long I have wanted to do this," He says, lips finding purchase on your nipple causing you to let out a gasp as his warm tongue lulls over the sensitive area. Your body arches up into him as your lips part into an "O".
His lips caress your body and you let out the tiniest moans as Sam's large hands start to spread your thighs before sliding down to reach your pussy. His warm breath fanned over your panties, causing you to shudder slightly, wondering what was to come. His finger comes up and glides gently up and down your underwear and his eyes snap up to look at your reaction.
"Do you want me to remove these?" He asks, applying pressure.
You nod to him frantically. He tsks at you before slapping your thigh gently.
"If you do not use words, sweetheart, I will stop and you don't want me to stop do you?"
"No, Sam, please!" You plead with him.
His hands grab at the top of your underwear and pull them down your legs and tosses them somewhere behind him. He then looked up at you with desire filling his eyes. He then lowers his mouth to your body and then you felt it. His warm tongue flattened against your clit and you let out a loud moan as he worked his mouth against your body.
"Oh God yes," You cry. "Please, don't stop."
"It's just Sam, not God," He says as your moans get higher in pitch and he adds two finger inside your hole to start stretching you out for him.
"Sam," You cry out as his fingers curl inside of you and one of your hands finds purchase in his hair and the other grabs your breast, squeezing as your back arches against Sam.
"Oh look at you," Sam says as he pulls his mouth away from your pussy long enough to speak. "I've barely touched you and yet you're about to cum. So wet for me. Is all of this for me?"
You nod your head as it lulls to the side and drool starts to come out of your mouth as you silently scream.
"Now be a good girl and cum for me," He demands as he gets back to work with his tongue, his fingers working overtime by curling and pushing against your G-spot, sending waves of pleasure through your veins all the way up to your brain.
Your body felt like it was on fire, your muscles were locked tight, your body was shaking as the blood rushed to your ears and all you heard was the sound of your heartbeat pumping in your ears. You felt like your brain was pulsing with how strong your orgasm hit you. Sam was muttering something as he continued to finger you through your climax.
Kissing up your body, Sam mutters praises against your skin and finally reaches your lips. His lips are slow as he passionately kisses you while moving your legs back to the bed as your muscles relax. He then slides back so he can undress. Only then did you realize that he was still fully dressed. It made you shiver with excitement as he pulls his shirt off, revealing his toned body. His abs and arms flexed naturally and you couldn't help but stare. You had seen him shirtless a countless amount of times during hunts or him coming out of the shower, but this time it felt different. Sam smirks at you before slowly unbuttoning his button on his jeans. As he pulls down the zipper, you can't tear your eyes away from his hands. He slips his jeans down his legs and your eyes nearly bug out of your head when you see the tent inside his underwear.
You move down the bed and kiss his lower stomach, right above his boxers and his breath shudders. Naturally, your hand comes up and runs along his underwear covered dick, enjoying the heat coming from his body. Sam's head tilts back and his hand comes to rest in your hair. Your hands slip below his underwear and grip his cock, giving it a quick squeeze, only letting go when he made a soft groan.
"Take them off for me," He says softly, almost breathlessly.
You peel his underwear off his body and he steps out of them. You inhale sharply at the sight of his dick, not knowing how that thing was supposed to be inside of you.
"How is that going to fit inside of me?" You ask, nervousness flashing over your face.
Sam leans down to kiss you and it slowly melts away your worry.
"Don't worry, I'll be as gentle as I can if you let me."
You nod and the two of you move up the bed as you kiss and your legs spread to allow him room in between them. He grins boyishly at your face shining with bliss. You look like an angel, innocent and pure, beaming up at him with love that he never thought would be shining in his direction. Your eyes held such admiration for the younger Winchester that he blushed slightly. His muscular body lowers against yours and his strong arms cage you under him. One of his hands move from the bed to run up and down your body while the other one helps support him above the bed.
His hand then moved to grab his dick and position it with your opening. You feel the pressure of it just sitting there and you think he might just split you in two with just how thick he feels. Seeing your worry, Sam leans back and grab your hand to hold it as his other directs himself slightly further inside of you.
"Will it hurt?" You ask, fear laced in your words.
"Only for a second, but if it hurts too much, let me know so I can pull out and we can try something else or abandon this because I can not carry on if you are in pain or uncomfortable. So, please baby, let me know."
At your approval, Sam moves his hips forward slowly and his dick slowly enters your wet entrance. He groans loudly and you hiss at the sudden pinch of pain. It felt like your body was on fire and you both groaned when he bottomed out which felt like it was eternity.
Sam's large hands come up to your face and cradles it as he mutters praises to you.
"Doing so good for me baby. God, how did I get so lucky? Can I move now honey or do you need a few more minutes?" He practically whimpers and his entire body is straining against itself to not move until you give the okay. With a nod of your head, Sam pulls out almost completely and then slams back in. Your body jolts a few inches up the bed and Sam is whining at how good you feel.
"So fu-fucking g-good,'' He moans as you arch your back to him. Your moans carried through the room and the sounds of his hips hitting your wet flesh could be heard through the bunker.
"Oh God, Sam!"
"So fucking wet for me baby. Bet I could just slip right back in if I pulled all the way o-out," he groans.
His hips snap a little bit harder, your hands trying to grip his sweaty back and your nails dig into his skin, almost piercing the skin. Sam wraps his arms around you and then turn over so that you are on top and you feel even more full in this position and you let out a sharp gasp as his dick is pumping in and out of you, almost feral with the way that Sam was moving.
His groans and curses were coming out breathlessly and he couldn't hold them back. His right arm wrapped around your body as his left gripped your hair, pulling you against him so that he could feverishly kiss you, nipping at your bottom lip as you struggled to breathe from how much your muscles burned. You started to bounce on his dick as he helped move you. His mouth left yours and his left hand pulled your head back to reveal your neck so he could bite and mark you as his. You moan his name desperately as the feeling of his tongue lathing over the bites that he left on your neck.
His lips attack your body as his hips abuse your cunt. Your orgasm is almost in reach as Sam's hand moves down to circle your clit. He starts to rub fiercely as his other hand came down to grip your ass and direct your body up and down. Your arms wrap around his neck and find his hair which makes you pull his head back and the sweat rolls down his neck deliciously. You nibble at his ear before leaving little bite marks against his skin on his neck before licking the sweat on his collarbone and then biting it slightly harder than expected.
"Oh fuck," He says as he closes his eyes as pleasure courses through his body. "Cum for me, sweetheart. Will you please cum for me?"
Your second orgasm hits you so hard you black out for a few seconds before coming back to reality with Sam's loud whining and his strings of curses.
"Where do you want it?" He asks, hips moving faster and punching into your cunt, stealing your breath for a second.
"In me." Is all you said before he groans loudly and bites down onto your shoulder to muffle his moans and potential screams as he came so hard. The endless ropes of thick cum filled you completely and you both slumped against each other when he finally came down from his high.
"Thank you," You say. "This means a lot to me."
"It meant everything to me that you trusted me with this," He says, hand coming up to smooth your hair away from your face.
"I love you, Sam. You made me feel loved tonight in a whole new way and I am so glad it was you that my first time was with you."
"I never wanted you to feel pressured or feel like this was the only way that I would stay with you so even if you told me at any point of these moments tonight, I would have stopped because you are what is important to me, not my sexual urges. You mean more to me than just a sexual conquest and I have been honored to do this for you. I love you and I am so lucky to be loved by you."
You kiss him again and he smiles happily into the kiss.
"Now before we do anything, we need to get cleaned up and then we can go back to watching movies because I really need to know what happens when they get to the Capitol."
"Are you saying that you want to finish The Hunger Games before going for round two?" You smile as the two of you start to clean each other up.
"I'm not saying that I'm not down for round two, but Katniss and Peeta have some really strong chemistry."
"I can not believe you," You laugh as you through his shirt on and then find a clean pair of underwear.
"Look if I have to watch another minute of this tension between them, I might actually lose it."
You playfully hit him on the shoulder as you put the TV back on and he cuddles up behind you.
"I still can not believe that you are choosing this over me."
"Sometimes life calls for some hard decisions."
"Uh huh, sure." You smile as you rest against him and the movie starts to play from where you left off.
Ok hear me out. Reader and Daryl go on a run for supplies with a few other people. Reader makes a mistakes and almost gets seriously hurt/ near death experience. Daryl gets pissed at reader, maybe yells at her. Reader laughs it off and acts like she doesn’t gaf. Daryl later finds reader all shaken up and crying by herself. Love if you don’t, love if you do!
Daryl Dixon x reader
Warnings: slight angst, near death experience, Daryl being an asshole, shaken reader, twd elements, Daryl takes care of reader, cursing, blood, Daryl being scared of losing reader, can be read as friends or as lovers. This was kind of rushed (sorry!)
Summary: While on a supply run, you nearly get hurt that could have left you dead and Daryl has to take care of you. (Request above)
Medicine, food, and First Aid. Medicine, food, and First Aid. Medicine, food, and First Aid. That is what you kept repeating to yourself as you walked down the road with Daryl a few steps ahead of you. That is how you reminded yourself why you were out here. Why you were risking your life. You had people counting on you and the hunter to come back. You had to come back to Alexandria. The entire community was in desperate need of medicine, food, and First Aid.
"Keep up the pace," Daryl said, tossing a look over his shoulder to make sure that you were still there.
He knew that you were the clumsy type, always tripping over air. He kept a few steps ahead of you as he looked for the town that Rosita had told him about. It was a run down town that had a couple stores and a pharmacy. Daryl adjusted the strap on his crossbow and stopped for you to catch up.
"Why'd ya stop?" You ask, side eyeing the archer as you walk beside him, your shoulder bumping into him.
"Why'd ya take so long ta walk?"
You rolled your eyes and walked faster up the road, leaving Daryl behind. You smile as you reach the town because most of the stores were completely in tact. There was trash all on the ground, but it appeared that no one had raided the stores.
"You get the pharmacy and I'll get the gas station," Daryl said. "Just grab whatever ya can grab."
"Be careful, Daryl."
He walked over to you, grabbing the sides of your face and pulling you closer to him so you will look him in the eyes. He had never done this but he just needed you close for a second.
"The first sign of danger, ya get out of there," He says softly. "Ya hear me? Ya get out of there, 'cause there is nothing in there worth losing ya life."
His thumbs were drawing circles on the apple of your cheeks before he let you go. Your smile drops at the loss of his touch. You turn to head toward the pharmacy, shooting one last glance back at Daryl who was already walking into the gas station.
Breaking into the pharmacy was quite easy, just break the window. Climbing inside, careful of the glass, you walk down the aisles. When you got to the counter, you looked through the window to see what the shelves had. They were fully stocked and you broke the glass barrier and climbed over. Opening the bag you brought, you start grabbing all of the pain killers, fever reducing pills, cough medicine, basically anything that Alexandria could possibly need. Your bag became full and you climbed back onto the other side of the counter. You stuffed as much bandages and gauze that you could fit into the bag and then zipped it up. You looked around the rest of the store and found some condoms and you laughed.
As you reached to grab the box, you heard a growl. Fuck, a walker was probably walking around outside. You continue to look around the place before finding a door in between two metal shelving systems. You pull it open and a walker growls as it grabs onto your shoulders, pulling you to the ground as you let out a scream. As you fell, you bumped into the metal shelves by the door and it crashed down on top of your shoulder and part of your leg, bottles and boxes falling to the floor.
---
Daryl was immediately attacked by a group of walkers in the gas station as he fought his way inside. After killing at least 15 walkers, his body was covered in walker blood and he stomped his way inside the store. He walked over to the shelves and picked up any canned foods and boxes of food. Most had long been rotten, the stuff that wasn't in cans so it was still limited picking. He grabbed bottled water and anything he could find that he thought was valuable.
Just as he was picking up a case of beer, he heard your scream. He turned and dropped the case as he ran to the pharmacy that was about half a block away from the gas station. When he approached the pharmacy, he saw broke glass and heard more screams coming from you. Breaking his way though, he ran to where there were groans and growls from the dead and your screams.
He shouted your name and he heard you scream for him. Panic was flooding his senses as he felt his heart beating through his chest. He pulled his knife from his holster on his hip and makes his way through. There were bottles and glass all over the floor as it looked like there was a major struggle that took place. Then he saw blood coming from a puddle. He ran over to the fallen shelf and saw that you were stuck underneath.
---
Your vision started to blur and the world started to go dark when you hear the sound of footsteps. You feel a tear slip from your eye when the steps get closer. This is the end. You were going to die. Then you recognize the figure as Daryl when he hollers out your name.
"Daryl!" You screamed as the walker on top of you kept trying to bite at your throat. You had one hand holding his mouth away from your body and the other was stuck to your side as your shoulder was being cut into with the metal shelf. Your free leg were kicking at another walker that was trying to hold onto your legs. In your head, this is how you are going to die.
Daryl came shouting for you as he started to make his way to you. You sighed in relief, but then screamed in pain as your shoulder pulled against the metal shelf when you tried to shuffle away from the walker that was pulling its way to you. Your combat boots were covered in blood from your kicking into the walkers head. Just when Daryl gets to you, a walker stumbles into the pharmacy from outside and lets out a low growl.
"Hey, sweetheart, I'ma get ya out of here." He promises.
"Daryl, my shoulder and leg is caught," You say as you struggle to hold back the walker on top of you.
"Okay, darlin, I need ya to push your body all the way down to the ground and I'll pull the shelf up."
Daryl, on the other side of the shelf away from you, starts to pull up but the shelf barely moves. He tries again. He keeps trying until the shelf moves in the direction that he needed it to go. He struggles to hold it as you watch in agony as the metal shelf pull from your shoulder, bleeding intensely from the gashes that was left. Your leg was free, but was also bleeding and just as you sighed in relief that your arm was free, you let out a blood curling scream as the walker by your leg bit into your boots.
You scream as you use your hurt arm, the one not holding onto the walker and grab your knife. You stab into the monster's head and then sit up and stab the other walker.
"Hurry!" Daryl yells as his arms strain from holding the heavy shelf as you crawl away from the dead walkers and to safety. Once Daryl sees that you were out of the way, he drops the shelf.
---
He rushes over to you and helps you stand. You cry as your foot is in pain. Daryl drags you out to a bench outside and rests you there.
"What the hell?" Daryl says as he looks at your foot.
"Daryl, he bit me." You sob.
"Hey," He said, his hands coming up to cup your face. "Ya ain't dying on me. Just keep your eyes on me. Don't close them eyes. Don't you fucking go to sleep!"
Daryl takes a look at the boot quickly and then back at you. You had closed your eyes and fallen asleep on the bench. He started panicking. He tapped your face a couple of times, but there was nothing.
"He didn't go all the way through," He says with a sigh. "He just got the boot. You're gonna be okay. You're gonna be okay."
"It'll be dark soon and I gotta bandage you up," He says as he picks you up. He sets up camp inside a building that he cleared out. He blocks the door so nothing can come in and then he turns to you.
As you laid there resting, eyes closed, he cleaned your wounds. He was talking to himself about how you were going to be okay. That you were not going to die on him. A couple of hours passed and you opened your eyes and saw that Daryl was sitting beside you and you were resting against him.
"You could have gotten yourself killed," He said, smoothing your hair.
"I was fine," You sigh. "It's kinda funny though."
"How the hell is this funny?"
"That I scream and you come a running."
He looks at you with a pissed expression.
"That's not fuckin funny, you got yourself hurt!" He says, angrily. "Ya could've died."
"But I didn't!" You yell. "I'm fine."
"Look at yar fuckin shoulder and leg, then look me in the eyes and tell me ya okay.'' He looked pissed and you were making it worse.
"Daryl, it's literally a scratch. It doesn't even hurt!"
"That ain't no fuckin scratch," He yelled.
You rolled your eyes at him and then tried to cross your arms but flinched at the pain.
''I'm leaving,'' He say as he grabs the crossbow and starts making his way to the door. "I ain't staying here and watching ya act like you didn't nearly die and not give a shit. Ya wanna act like you're fine? Okay, act like it because that's all it'll be, an act. You are willing to act like nothing gets to you. Not even death and I can't sit here and listen to you say that what just happened was nothin'!"
After he finished his sentence, he walks over to the door and leaves. With Daryl left, all you had was silence and your wounds throbbing. It hurt so badly and you started crying. You almost died. If Daryl had not gotten there in time, you would have died from the walkers eating you alive.
You curl up into a ball and start sobbing as the events ran back into your head. The pain, the snarling from the walkers, the smell of death, the dread. Everything came rushing back and you just sit there and cry quietly.
You didn't hear the archer come back in through your tears and shaking breathes. Daryl dropped his crossbow and came rushing to your side and his hands wrapped you into a hug. Your body shook as you sobbed into his chest. He moved so that you were basically in his lap as he comforted you. He listens to your cries and helps calm your breathing. He didn't actually leave. He just stood outside the door for a few minutes before he heard you crying and then he rushed back in.
"I don't wanna die, Daryl," You cried into his chest, his vest becoming soaked with your tears. He shushed you as he held you.
"Ya gonna be all right," He says as he places your head onto his heart so the soft thumping of his heart beat would help you calm down.
"It was horrible. I th-thought that I was gonna die and I would never see you again. Daryl, I just don't want die."
"I'll never let you die," He says, calming you down. Your breathing slowed and the tears started to slow. "Not if I'm still here. Ya got nothing to worry about."
"Please don't leave me," You beg quietly. "Please never leave me again."
"Daryl's here," He coos softly. "I ain't goin no where."
Warnings: age gap (Daryl is in his 40s and reader is in her 20s), sexual tension, SMUT, oral (f), fingering, overstimulaton, thigh riding, unprotected sex, degradation (use of slut, whore), hair pulling, kissing, Daryl whimpers, insecure Daryl about his scars, slightly perv Daryl (he watches reader change)
Summary: After spending a supply run together, the sexual tension between you and a certain archer becomes almost too much and threatens to overcome the both of you.
Song Rec while reading:
wRoNg: ZAYN
Worship: Ari Abdul
Shameless: Camila Cabello
Daryl Dixon was known to have a short temper, and an even shorter patience tolerance. When Michonne and Gabriel sent him on a supply run with none other than you, he knew that he would have to keep his cool or he will lose his mind and he can't risk that. He thought that if he just ignored the way his breath hitched in his throat when your breasts bounce in your black tank top with every step you take to his motorcycle.
"Hiya, Daryl!" You call as you sling your bow and arrow over your shoulder before making yourself comfortable on his bike.
He just grunts in return before kicking the kickstand up and taking off. Your hands wrap around his torso and he takes a deep breath as he reminds himself that he needs to breathe through his nose or he is gonna pass out.
---
You hummed to yourself as you walked through the store in a small run down town. It was a clothing store, or well was once before the world ended. Clothes were hanging on the racks and then you saw the underwear section. It was perfect. You needed new panties and you knew that some of the other ladies at Alexandria would enjoy new pairs. You went to the shelves and started packing as many as you could before turning to Daryl when you found some see through lace panties.
"Hey, Daryl?" You ask quietly.
"What? Ya good?" He asked, small panic rushing into his brain. Hopefully you didn't hurt yourself. He had only left you in that section of the store for maybe five minutes.
"Do you think these would make my butt look good?" You ask with a serious face while holding up the undergarments.
"For fuck's sake!" He groaned as he turns away. "Don't ask stupid shit like that." He takes a moment before turning back around and replied, "Yes they would make your butt look good."
You turned away from him with a smile. You grabbed a couple more like that pair in your size and threw them into your pack. After searching a couple more store, you and Daryl started back into the woods and went tracking for something to eat. Night fell upon the two of you before you knew it and you looked for a place to set up camp in a small house just a few miles from the town.
Checking to see if there were any walkers, you and Daryl made your way into the semi-decent house. It was no where near perfect but it would be good for the night before you leave for the next town in the morning.
Daryl came into the house with some firewood and threw it into the fireplace. You looked around the house for lanterns to have light and lit some matches inside of them. Once the house had some light, it dawned on you that it was just you and Daryl in this house. The fireplace sent a yellowish orange lighting onto Daryl and his blue eyes shone in contrast to the lighting. You stood at the stove and was heating up some beans and bread that you had found in a store. You smiled at idea of living with Daryl and cooking for him. You smiled at the idea of a possible normal life as normal as it could be in the end of the world.
Sitting down across from Daryl, the two of you ate your food. Daryl kept his eyes on his bowl and didn't look up at you until you cleared your throat.
"You don't like me, do you?"
Daryl put his spoon in his bowl, shoveling a bunch of the beans into his mouth before setting the bowl on the floor beside him. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and then he turned his head to look at you. He fought to keep his eyes connected to yours instead of looking at your rising and falling chest. God he felt like he was a creep, like he was a teenager again. It wasn't him trying to sexualize you, he really didn't mean to but when you were looking at him like that, breathing like that, he was really struggling to maintain eye contact.
"I don't hate ya," He says, his blue eyes darting in between yours and the wall behind you.
You shuffle closer to him before placing your hand on his chin, turning his face to you. His eyes stayed on your face, suddenly he was at a loss of words, not that he had many in the first place but still.
"If you didn't hate me, you would be able to look at me for more than two seconds before scoffing and turning away," You giggle with a smile and then move closer. "What is it about me that you don't like looking at?"
You had the biggest crush on Daryl Dixon and you barely tried to hide it from anyone but him. He was tall, strong, handsome, and very, very good at protecting people. He had a hard exterior, but he was really a big softy for the people he cared for. How could you not like him?
"There isn't anythin' 'hat I don't like lookin' at," He says, blush creeping up his face. "I jus' don't know why ya make me crazy."
"I make you go crazy, Daryl?" You ask. "You have no idea how crazy you make me."
Your faces creep closer, you were basically straddling the archer as you pressed yourself closer to his body, desperate for his warmth. Your eyes flicker to his lips quickly before snapping back to his cool eyes. You wondered what his lips would feel like on yours. What they would feel like running over your body.
Daryl's hands came up to your face to move some hair out of your eyes and he cupped your jaw. He tilted his head up, barely, almost brushing your plump lips. Your lips part slightly, ready to grant Daryl's full permission to do whatever he wanted to do to yours. Just as the distance was about to close, your eyes closing, breathing heavily, a walker's growl could be heard from outside the window and Daryl all but throws you off him (not really much of a throw, just nudging you off him quickly), and he takes care of the walker. He stabs the monster in the head, blood splattering onto his face and clothes before he turns to you and then walks out of the house.
----
Making your way through the woods, Daryl refused to say anything to you. You had tried to make small talk but he ignored you. He kept walking as he scanned for prey, hopefully a deer or a pig. He didn't really care, as long as he had something to kill and take his mind off the way that you made him feel last night. You were so much younger than himself and he didn't want to seem like a creepy old man who would nut in his pants from just seeing your tits bounce a few times.
Daryl would have intense dreams where your tits were bouncing because you were bouncing on his dick and he was pulling your hair back so your neck was arched backwards and he would mark you up as his while you rode him.
He shook the thoughts from his mind as he remembers that you were right behind him. He turned to you to see you kneeling down by the ground, looking at tracks on the ground.
"What are ya lookin' at?" He asked, his voice startling you before you relaxed.
You looked up at him before pointing left.
"These are fresh tracks, looks like a deer."
"Good, let's go."
"I need to apologize about what happened last night," You said as you walked quietly.
"Shhh," He said.
"I really am sorry about that, Daryl, I don't know what overcame me."
"I said, shhh, girl."
Just as you crept down behind a fallen tree, the deer walked out from behind the tall grass and started to eat at the fallen nuts on the ground. As much as you were hoping to be able to pay attention, Daryl's scent filled your nose as you realized how close you were and you could feel your panties dampen at the sight in front of you. You looked at Daryl and saw his thick muscles of his arms flex as he lifted his crossbow and aimed at the deer. You watched as he licked his lips gently as he closed one of his eyes. You watched his chest move with his breathing. You noticed everything. You needed to get this deer and then get back home before you tried to fuck him right out in the open woods.
"Let's go home," you said as you loaded the deer onto his bike.
"We are supposed to hit another town just a few miles over," He said.
"Yes but we have a deer which will draw more walkers to us," You said. "Let's drop it off with our people and then come out again."
---
Daryl listened to you because he knew you would throw a fit and then he would want to fuck your attitude away. He didn't just want to fuck you, he wanted to love you. He wanted to come home to you every night, fuck you to sleep, and then cuddle with you as he tells you about his day. Before you, he never thought that he would want the "normal" life like everyone else. He never had anyone to come home to and he had become used to it. Now he wanted to share a home with you. He wanted to take care of you. He wanted to protect you.
While the two of you were camping out in the woods, your shirt and pants had been torn after a run in with a herd of walkers. You told Daryl that you were going to change and then you went behind his poncho hanging up on a branch. You thought that you were covered completely, but the poncho had other plans as it had fallen from the branch while you were turned away. Your entire body was on display for Daryl as you bent over in just your black panties to pick up a shirt you had gotten from the run down shop the other day.
Daryl knew that he should have turned away, to respect you, but something in his sick, twisted mind, he kept looking. He saw your skin shine in the bright moon light. He saw every curve you have and he wanted nothing more than to just mark every inch of your skin as his. You were his, even if you didn't know yet. He eventually couldn't handle it anymore and moved to pick up the poncho. His footsteps made you turn away but he had already covered you with the poncho.
"It slipped from the branch and I didn't want ya to be uncomfortable," He said as he stepped closer to cover your body completely.
"Thank you," You smile as you tilt your head up to look at him in his eyes. His hands were on your hips as he wrapped you up. You bit your lip softly and his thumb came up to release your bottom lip from your teeth, slowly stroking over it with such care. His eyes watched for your reaction and you had none but heavy breathing. He licked his own lips quickly and leaned in slightly, still checking your eyes for any sign of you not wanting his actions, finding none. Just as his lips were brushing yours, a hiss came from the fire as it died out and the world went dark.
He quickly pulled away and turned away from you. He cleared his throat and then muttered a quick "sorry" and then went to rebuild the fire.
---
Arriving back at your house after a few days being gone, you took a shower as soon as you got home. You walked into your room in just a towel before pulling out clothing from your closet. The shirt you picked out was one of Daryl's button downs that you stole when you were staying in his house before moving into your own.
Daryl walked up to your room as he needed to talk to you about the other night. He didn't know what had came over him but he needed to clear it up with you. He knocked on your door, thinking of all the things he would say but as soon as the door opened and you revealed that you were in just a shirt and panties. Just not any shirt, his shirt. His shirt was on your body. Your naked body. He didn't know what made him grab your face and pull you into a searing kiss, but he pulled your body closer to his as he walked you backwards into the room.
He kicked the door closed and turned you against it. He started to leave kisses down from your lips to your neck. He sucked at your pulse point and then your hands pulled his face back up to yours. His lips enclosed yours as you messily made out against your door. His hand went to the back of your knee and wrapped it around his hip, opening you up to him as his clothed core ground into yours as your hand found his hair. He let out a groan as your fingers twisted into his long strands.
Daryl's mouth pressed against yours as he swallowed your every sound as you whimpered for more. Daryl's fingers slid down to your panties and teased your clit behind the fabric. His fingers glided against your clothed clit in tight circles as you moaned for him, begging him to fuck you. A smirk came over his face as your head lulled back, opening your neck to him. He started to suck on your sweet spot as his fingers slid your underwear to the side and sunk in to the knuckle.
"Fuuuuuck," You groan as Daryl's fingers started to pump in and out of your body. Daryl smiled at you as he slowly kissed lower and lower as he removed his hand from your panties to rip open his shirt. He kissed down your body, slowly sucking on your nipples and lulling his tongue over the nipple before biting it softly, causing you to gasp in slight pain.
"You like it when I touch ya like this?" He asks, running his middle finger up your slit before popping it into his mouth to suck the juices off of it. "Fuck, ya sweeter than I thought."
"Daryl," You moan as he slowly kisses your thighs, your back arching off the wall.
"Move to the bed and spread your legs for me like a good littl' slut," He demands. The derogatory name made you feel more slick drip from your pussy.
Daryl slowly pulled his shirt over his head, wincing as your eyes roam over his scars. He goes to put his shirt back on but you move to stop him.
"Don't hide from me," You say softly. "You're beautiful."
You move to the edge of the bed and press a kiss to the scar on his chest, then the one on his torso. You lick up the one on his collarbone. You turn him around and you kiss each one on his back. You trace them as if you were tracing roads on a map.
"You are so beautiful, Daryl," You whisper against his skin before turning him around to face you. "Every inch of you is beautiful, even the damaged parts."
Something snaps inside of him and he pushes you back gently and he crawls over you like a predator to his prey. He kissed your lips and then he started to kiss down your body, tracing every curve into his muscle memory. He wanted to savor this into his mind forever.
"Did I ever tell ya 'hat ya make me crazy?" He asks.
"Maybe once before," You giggle but it quickly turn into a moan when he licks up your pussy. You grip onto the sheets, holding you grounded to earth before you floated away. Daryl notices you holding onto the sheets and he grabs your hands, making you think that he just wanted to hold them but he then moves them to his hair. He nods at you and then curls his tongue inside you which makes you cry out and tug at his hair. He moans against you and slips a finger inside your weeping hole which he then pays more attention to your clit with his tongue.
"Cum for me," he moans against you. His eyes watch as the band inside your stomach snaps as he continues to add another finger and play with your cunt. Your hips start to wiggle away from him but he pulls your body flush against his face as there is no room for any air for him to possibly breathe. All he could breathe in was you. He could only see you, taste you, and breathe you. He was alive for you and this sole moment.
Eventually Daryl had pulled two more climaxes out of you and he then starts to kiss back up your twitching body. He rolls over and goes to cuddle you but you lay there confused.
"We are not done," You smile before climbing onto his thigh. Slotting your legs on each side, you slowly start to grind down onto him. He sits up and places his hands onto your hips, helping your movements.
"Fuck ya such as whore for me, ya gotta fuck my thigh?" He says with a smirk.
"Please," You moan out, head falling back.
Daryl pushes you off of him long enough to take his pants and underwear off and then he pats his lap, beckoning you to come closer. You move into his lap and he places your hands on his shoulders as he moves his cock to be lined up with your entrance.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asks, making sure that you were one hundred percent certain that you wanted him to do this.
"Please, Daryl, just fuck me!" You groan out and then Daryl eases his tip into your weeping pussy.
"Fuck," You moan as you slowly stretch on his dick. "Please, just get inside me!"
Daryl looks at you for one second, taking in your face before cupping your cheek. He then snaps his hips forward and his entire dick goes inside you, kissing your cervix lightly. You scream at the intrusion and he gently soothes your hair as he speaks praise into your ear. He then pulls almost all the way out and then snaps back inside harshly. Your hands cling to his shoulders as one arm wraps around his neck and grip onto his shoulder. Daryl's arm wraps around your torso and the other hooks under your arm and his hand grips your shoulder, squeezing tightly as he pounds into your pussy with slow, harsh thrusts.
You head falls backward as Daryl's fingers wrap into your hair and pulls your face closer to his so he roughly kiss you. It was messy, all teeth and spit dripping everywhere. Your lips moved in fierce movements as they tried to keep up with each others. Your hips bounced against Daryl's as the two of you tried to get to the finish line. Daryl grips you tightly before using his body weight to flip the two of you over and he catches himself with one arm on the bed as your legs wrapped around his torso, your arms holding onto him for dear life as he fucked into you with punishing thrusts.
Daryl's dick moved inside of you in fast, rough movements, hitting your cervix at times but was always hitting your g-spot. Your head was thrown back as you cling to him and he moves one hand to the headboard as he stares down at you, your hair laying out around your head like a crown and he whimpered when your pussy clenched around his thick cock. He gently moved your legs down from his torso and spread you out further as he moved back onto his knees, leaning over through his arms to kiss your forehead before he reared his hips back, and snapped them forward, driving home in a hard thrust.
You scream in pleasure and borderline pain but it was so good. You dig your nails into Daryl's back as he drops his head into your neck as his hands are clinging to the headboard that was beating a possible hole into the wall as you plant one hand against the base of the headboard to keep your head from slamming into it. Your mouth is agape as Daryl nibbles on your collarbone as his hips slam into yours, surely leaving bruises that you will feel for days after this.
"Fuck ya look so pretty, looking at me like that," He moans as you throw your head back into the pillows, begging him for more, to make you come.
"You wanna cum?" He asks, one of his hands slipping from the headboard and coming down to rub fast circles on your clit, adding fuel to the fire that is boiling inside your core. Your body screamed for release.
"You gonna cum for me, pretty girl?" He smirks. "Fuck ya feel so good, baby. This pussy was built for me. God, I don't 'ver wanna leave it. Jesus, look at that. Your pussy is just sucking me in, she don't want me to leave either."
You moan at his filthy words before begging him to let you cum. Your hands reach for his neck and pulls him down to kiss him. Just as his lips brush against yours, the band inside you snaps and you let out a muffled scream against his lips. He was close already before you came but after feeling you cum around his cock, he knew that it was just a matter of time before he cumming all over you.
"Daryl, cum inside me."
Those four words made his hips snap faster against yours and then you felt him still against you, then a warm liquid spilled inside you as Daryl's body shuddered above you. You heard him whimper and groan as more and more ropes of thick cum spilled from his dick. Your hands rub up and down his back as you kissed his collarbone.
Daryl rolled over and pulled you with him, lifting you off his softening dick and then covered you both with your blanket. He kissed your forehead and moved the few strands of hair from your face and then kissed your lips.
"Can I ask a question?" You ask as you draw circles on his chest.
Daryl just grunts in response.
"Do you still not like me?"
"I swear to God woman. You still think I don't like ya?"
"Well, I can't be too careful," You smile up at him. "So do you like me?"
He leaned his head down and kissed you on the lips, soft and slow, before fulling back.
"Does that answer your question?" He asks with a huff.
"I'm not fully convinced," You smile before climbing back on top of him and starts pressing kisses to his neck.
"Ya're gonna kill me, woman!" He groans with a smile before grabbing the back of your neck and pulling you into a crushing kiss, rolling on top of you to further prove that he likes you.
ok im not used to requesting yet so sorry if im doing this wrong but im sad so i need me some early seasons sam fluff, like reader jokingly calling him sammy and he starts acting all weird or something
Sammy Boy
Sam Winchester x reader
Warnings: Fluff
Summary: Request
The hunt was tough given that it was a ghost that haunted a family's home for over three hundred years and there was little know about said ghost. Dean drove the group to a bar a few miles from the hotel. You and Sam walked to a booth in the back of the bar and slid in beside each other. Dean was chatting with a tall blonde and Sam turned to you with a smile.
"How is your shoulder?" He asked, you had been thrown across the room and hit the wall really hard.
"It's alright, just a bit sore." You smiled. "No need to be so worrisome, Sammy!"
Upon saying it, Sam had a deep blush go across his face and he let out a forced cough. He quickly stand up and excuse himself to the bathroom. You sat there, beer bottle in hand and stared at his retreating figure before he disappeared with the crowd.
----
You sat on the bed in the hotel, cleaning a gun when Sam walked into the room with his computer. You smiled and turned to face him completely.
"Hiya Sam," You smile but he just stops in his sport before excusing himself to go outside. You turn to Dean, who was cleaning the other guns, with a confused look.
"He has been acting very strange," You said.
"Sam is always strange, man."
You shook your head and looked down at the guns again before going back to cleaning them. Sam was finding any reason to get away from you and you were getting tired of it. Why was he avoiding you and what had you done to be avoided?
---
"Sam, you go with her and I'll go with Cas," Dean said, splitting everyone up to cover more grounds to find the remains of a woman who was taunting the residents in a home.
As Sam and you had walked around the graveyard, you walked in silence. It was quiet and it was every bit of awkward as Sam had not been able to handle being in the same room as you for more than five minutes before he awkwardly stands up and trips over his long legs or when he stutters over his words.
"Hey, Sam?" You ask, and he turns to you but accidentally blinding you with the flash light in his hands.
"I am so sorry, I didn't mean to blind you," He quickly apologized over the mistake and then looked down at his shoes. "What's up?"
"You have been acting weird recently," You start before he interrupts you quickly.
"I have not been acting weird. I just have a lot on my mind," He says with a small smile.
"Yesterday you nearly dropped your computer when you saw me," You giggle.
"You bumped into me," He defended himself.
"Or what about the time that you were trying to explain the micro-organisms that were on lettuce when I asked if you wanted a slice of pie with Dean and I?"
"Okay that was because I wanted a salad," He laughed, bumping into you slightly.
You turned to him and smiled, this tall, strong man was failing at hiding what the true reason behind his actions.
"But then I realized why you were acting this way and I came to conclusion that it was because I called you Sammy."
Just as you said it, he cleared his throat and stumbled from a root.
"I realized that only Dean had called you that and your behavior started when I jokingly called you Sammy which you stumbling and clearing your throat is just proving my theory."
His face was a deep shade of pink and his smile was giving him away. He was just confused how you figured it out. After all, he thought he was hiding it pretty well.
"You are correct. It's just strange hearing it come from someone else other than Dean and I kinda just freaked out. I am just not used to hearing it from a pretty girl either so it was just a surprise," He smiled and then laughed awkwardly.
"You think I'm pretty?" You smile brightly.
"I...I mean yeah. You are like really pretty and I just didn't expect you to call me by my nickname. I have known you since we were like 10 and you had never called me Sammy before so it just threw me for a loop," He says, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Well, for what it counts, I think you are pretty too, Sammy." You smile and his hand reaches out to grab yours.
"Can we get coffee after this hunt?" He asks.
"Are you going to explain how the coffee bean has special organisms on it?"
"No, I won't."
"Because I wouldn't mind if you did," You smile.
Maybe you should start to call him Sammy a lot more often.
Will there be a new Part of To Be Alone With You ?
To Be Alone With You (Part Seven)
Anthony Bridgerton x female!sharma!sister!reader
Mentions of Benedict and reader
Warnings: ANGST, so much ANGST, swearing, Violet Bridgerton giving advise, Edwina feeling betrayed, Kate giving advise, we learn that Edwina is not in love with Anthony and never was, a few uses of Y/N just as a placeholder, ITALICS ARE A FLASHBACK, this got a lot longer than expected.
a/n: The official ending is going to be Anthony. He was the original ending and I think that there is so much potential with him and the reader. However, I will be making an ending for Benedict fans (me too) and it will be written as an alternate ending.
Summary: As the wedding between Anthony and Edwina nears, you must decide if your love for the viscount is worth sacrificing your relationships with your sisters, Benedict, and potentially yourself.
It appears that while the Viscount Bridgerton is engaged with one Edwina Sharma, the same can not be said about his eyes. Last night during the Featherington's Ball, it appeared that Lord Bridgerton's eyes were on one particular Sharma sister, who was not his betrothed. With the wedding so near, this author fears that this engagement will end in scandal and not a wedding. Let us not forget that Mr. Benedict Bridgerton also seems to be smitten by a Sharma sister. Will the Bridgetons have two weddings on their hands this year?
Lady Whistle down, Society Papers 1814
---
"Brother, I had not known you were taking it kindly with a Sharma," Anthony said, a glint in his eyes. "Is it Miss Kate Sharma? I've seen you look at her a few times."
Eloise had been reading Whistledown to the family hours prior to the brothers gathering into Anthony's office for a few drinks, to celebrate the engagement and the wedding so near.
"Kate? Absolutely not. She is a wonderful woman, strong headed, beautiful, but is more so a sister to me than a potential bride," Benedict stated, rather off put by the idea of marrying Kate. She was a lovely lady, one like a sister to him. She was just not who he had his eyes on.
"Well that only leaves one other Sharma brother," Colin said, nervous at his brothers realization.
"NO!" Anthony declares. "Not her!"
Benedict looks up with a sly smile, not realizing that Anthony knew of them.
"Yes, Miss Y/n Sharma is a lovely woman who has quipped my interest," Benedict says, smiling as he takes a sip of his drink.
"Have you compromised this woman?"
"I am a gentleman, brother," Benedict says, but his smile gives it away.
"You have!" Anthony states, he already knew from the note he left you when he snuck out of your bedroom all those weeks ago.
"Yes and I am not proud of it, I am simply waiting for your wedding to be over so I may propose. No need to steal your spotlight."
Anthony debated on telling Benedict that she was already compromised before he got to her. Now with the talk of marriage, his brother deserved to know.
"Brother, I must confess something that I am not proud to say."
"And that is my cue to leave," Colin said, bidding goodnight as he knew what was to come.
"Miss Sharma was already compromised when you laid with her during your art session," Anthony said quickly before downing the burning liquid from his glass, grabbing the bottle to pour more.
"But how would you know that?" Benedict said, confusion growing onto his face. "And why would you know that?''
Anthony takes in a deep breath before turning back to his brother.
"Because the man who compromised Miss Sharma was me."
Benedict, now standing, paces across the floor as he takes big breaths to keep his cool. He then turns to Anthony, storming up to him and grabbing his collar.
"You fucked her and then left her?" He yelled, anger flashing across his face. He was fuming. Anthony had never seen this kind of emotion in his brother before. Benedict was always the calm one. Always the one who kept his cool when it came to getting angry. This was new.
"I did not intend-"
"You compromise that woman and then propose to her sister!"
"Ben-"
"And then what? Don't tell me you knew of the two of us!"
Anthony looked down at the floor, Benedict stepped away from him for a moment.
"I knew not of your feelings, just your actions," Anthony said. "I told her that she should choose you because I was engaged to her sister. It was before my engagement, before all of the wedding talk, and before you set your eyes on her."
"How many times did you sleep with her?" Benedict asked, tears in his eyes.
"It only happened, maybe a few times."
"Did any of it happen after you found out about her and I?"
Anthony doesn't answer immediately but based on his silence, Benedict already knew.
"Brother, I love her!" Benedict yelled, hurt and betrayal creeping in his voice. "And you aimed to take her away from me!"
"I love her, Benedict. I tried to stop it. I tried to stop my feelings but I couldn't. I wanted to leave her alone after I found out about the two of you," Anthony says.
"But you did not!" Benedict yelled back at him, his blood boiling.
"It was Miss Sharma who ended things between the two of us, Ben. I told her that I loved her and then realized that it made me weak. I could not let her feel the same pain as Mother did after Father's death."
"You don't get to keep using that excuse, Anthony!" Benedict cried. "We have given you so many passes because of that one excuse and I understand how much Father meant to you but you do forget that I was close in your age when Father died as well. It is as though everyone forgets that he was my father too."
"Brother-"
"You have always been seen as strong and brave and mature for taking over the head of the house, but forget that you are not the only one who has the burden of remembering Father's passing." Benedict says, "I used to stand there, outside your study, listening to your pen scribbling across papers. I would listen to the sounds of you stumbling through the office and papers falling along with books from the shelves as you make your way back to your seat because you were so overcome with sleep. I would want to reach out to help you but it was not my place. I had to lose my father and watch my brother lose himself. So for you to deprive yourself of happiness, it is the worst mistake you could make."
"I have to protect her from it, brother. I will not let Y/n face the same pain and fate Mother did."
"Brother, you can not hide from love. It will find you. It always does. You can choose to turn away from it or you can embrace it with everything you have," Benedict walks over to his brother, a man who is clearly struggling to contain his emotions as he stands before his younger brother.
Benedict grabs the back of Anthony's neck, comforting him.
"Make it right with her brother, if you love her within half of what you claim, make it right."
Benedict turned and walked out of the office, leaving Anthony in the candle lit room alone.
---
"Whistledown writes lies," Edwina states, holding the piece of paper. "Anthony does not have eyes for one of you, does he?"
"Never," Kate says. "He is completely entranced by you."
You sit with a book as you listen to them. Edwina had been growing weary of the wedding. Almost having second thoughts before deciding that she would continue. You remember the conversation with her and Kate.
---
You three girls were all gathered in the library, looking through the old books as you gossiped about the ladies of the Ton.
"Did you see how Lady Datherington was dangling onto Lord Kemp?" Kate asked?
"I don't know if I want to continue with the wedding," Edwina says softly. "I am just not sure if he is the one for me."
"What makes you say that?" Kate asked.
"Yes, you seemed happy with the courtship," You said.
"It just seems as though we are not meant to be, rather that he may be interested in someone else."
"Someone else?" Kate questioned, looking at you for support.
"Darling, he is not interested in anyone else. You are the diamond of the season, why would he be interested in someone else instead."
"But that is the issue, Y/n, why isn't he interested in a different woman?" Edwina says, confusing the both you and Kate.
"Do you want him to be interested in someone else?" You ask.
"It would make more sense than him being interested in me just because the queen said he should be," Edwina says. "He doesn't even want a love match. He just wants a wife to take care of his home."
"His huge home," Kate gives a nod.
"Kate, I think what she means to say-"
"Not what I mean to say, what I am saying is that he doesn't love me so why is he so committed to this marriage? Why does he not try to get to know me if he wants to be my husband?"
You move to hug her and Kate does the same. At this very moment, you ponder if you should tell her that you were in love with her future husband, and a small part of you hoped that she would forgive. You thought that it would be a good time to tell her, give it to her while we are on the topic of the viscount, but just as you open your mouth, Edwina states that she is to still marry him.
"I suppose that I must marry him with the wedding so close. I can not pull out now," Edwina says with a small smile.
"You are to still marry him?" You asked.
"Well, I have to now since the wedding is in two weeks."
"What would make you not marry him?" You asked, Kate looked at you confused.
"Why do you ask?" Kate says slowly.
"Because I would want to know what it would take for a man not to marry me."
"I suppose him telling me he was in love with another woman because I would not want him to be in a loveless marriage and yearn for another," Edwina says.
"Anything else?"
"Maybe if the woman told me she loved him as well."
---
You close the book you are reading when a piece of paper falls out of it, Anthony's note. You had not seen it since the morning you found it laying on your bedside table. You quickly move to grab it, but Edwina swoops it in her hands from the floor.
"Look Kate, Y/n has a secret love letter!" Edwina squeals.
"I had no idea you were getting letters from gentlemen," Kate teases, walking up beside Edwina as you stare at the piece of paper in horror.
Edwina starts to read aloud, "My Dearest, Miss Sharma."
"Oh my, it has a comma after Dearest," Kate gushes as she beams brightly.
"I love you as deeply as the deepest parts of the oceans and even further than that," Edwina reads on, smiling as she does so. "I wish there was a way to sleep in the same bed as you. To stay in the same home with you, to hold you love as close as I can until it was the only thing I knew."
"Oh Y/n, this man is deeply taken with you!" Kate beams as she runs to hug you tightly. "You must tell us what his name is! Oh and we must tell Mama!"
Edwina's eyes grow large, her smile dimming and horror falls onto your face. Kate turns back to Edwina and tilts her head in confusion.
"Bon, is everything alright?"
"Why would you do this to me?" Edwina says, staring at the paper.
"Edwina, I can explain."
"How could you do this to me?" Edwina says again, anger growing into her voice. " 'How I wish I were able to say "I love you, Mrs. Bridgerton. My viscountess."' "Do these words ring any bells? And the "A.B."?"
"Edwina, please!" You start to shake your head at her. "I am truly sorry. I never meant-"
"He wrote to you that he wanted to marry you in a different reality, one where he was not marrying me and that he may actually be able to marry for love!" Edwina cries at not the thought of him not being faithful to their courtship and engagement but because it was you he was being unfaithful with.
"Edwina, all of that was before he announced your engagement," You plead. "I did not expect for Lord Bridgerton to be interested in me nor I in him. I did not want this to happen. I cut it off because I saw how happy you are with him."
"So at every ball, when the two of you danced, you loved him? Or was every insult you said to him was truly a love confession?"
Kate stood there in shock as she read the first line, "I awoke with a perplexed train of thought as I watched you blissfully sleep."
"Did the two of you do what married people do?" Kate asked, interrupting the two of you.
"I...Yes, we did but it was not something that I knew to be the marital act at all."
"Y/N, he has compromised you and he has left you aside!" Kate said, anger slipping in as she thought of seeing Anthony.
"Edwina, I never meant to cause harm to you." You say, slowly walking to her, she steps back a few steps.
"It is not that I am happy with him because I am not," Edwina said, for the first time since the engagement she could speak how she truly feels. "I am not happy with Lord Bridgerton. And I can not make him happy. I am going into a loveless marriage and he is in love with my sister. I knew that he could never love me, I just never expected you to be the one he loved."
"Edwina-"
"I am not done!" She shouts, stomping her foot. "I foolishly expected that one day we could love each other but we cannot. I shared my doubts, my concerns, and my feelings with you, and this entire time, you were secretly the reason behind all of them. I am not upset that you love him or that he had secretly been meeting with you, I am angry because you felt as though you could not tell me your feelings for him."
"I am so sorry," You cry, shaking as you stood there in one spot, frozen due to your mistake.
"I thought we were closer than anyone," Edwina said. "And yet you could not tell me small things like how you took interest in Lord Bridgerton and you kept it from me."
Edwina walked out of the room, tears in her eyes, and you stood there in your spot until she had left completely before breaking down. Kate rushed to catch you as you slid to your knees as you cried.
"He said he loved me, Kate. He said he loved me. Why did he have to tell me that he loved me?"
"Shhh, I know. I know." Kate had only one thought as she held your shaking form in her arms, she was going to have a nice long conversation with Anthony.
"I never meant for this to happen," You cried. "I just wanted someone to love me and he said he did. I didn't mean for it to hurt her. I never wanted to hurt her. I just wanted someone to love me."
Kate gently takes your face in her hands and kisses your forehead.
"You are loved. You need not a man to love you. To love someone else is to first love yourself. You can not love someone else unless you are willing to accept love for yourself," Kate smiles. "Anthony is an idiot for making you feel this way. For that I am terribly sorry and you will survive because you have survived many things in this world for you are a woman.''
"But Edwina is upset with me."
"She is upset, but she is not angry. She understands that you love him, she is rather upset because you had not been truthful with your feelings."
"Do you think she will forgive me?" You ask, looking up at her with hope in your eyes along with unshedded tears.
"Oh darling, she has most likely forgiven you as soon as she walked out of the room. You know Edwina may be upset with you, but do not think that she doesn't love you or will not forgive you. She is just hurt."
"Kate, you have no idea how much I am going to miss you when you leave for India again."
"And I will miss you as well. But for now, lets not talk on that topic. I have a very important thing to do right now," She smiles.
"Oh of course," You move to get out of her arms.
"No silly, my important task is to hold you until you feel better," She smiles as she squeezes you tightly.
"But I already feel better," You giggle.
"Well at least until I feel better."
---
Anthony walks into his mother's drawing room as she sits there stitching up a pillow which she puts down when seeing the state of her son.
"What is it, my son?" Violet smiles softly.
"Mama, I made a huge mistake and I do not know how to fix it."
"Oh my son, come sit."
Violet moves a pillow and she pats the couch beside her. Anthony sits down and tears well up in his eyes.
"Oh, darling what troubles you?"
"I love someone and I can not possibly let her suffer a painful life as you have since Father," Anthony says as he struggles not to cry in front of his mother.
"Anthony, I have not lived a painful life." Violet places her hand on Anthony's cheek. Normally he would scold her or move away but he realized that he deeply craved his mother's touch.
"I shared a wonderful life with your father and when he died, it felt as though a part of me died, but without the love and heartache that I gained throughout our marriage, I would not have you or the rest of my children. I would be lost in this sea of life without having Edmund, but I have my children, the greatest honor of my life, to hold me anchored."
"But Mama, I can not have her suffer."
"And what do you think you are doing to her now?" Violet knew who her son was talking about and she knew how you were feeling.
"Mother, I can not let her love me. I can not rest peacefully if she were to be in pain and agony because of me!" Anthony's tears fell from his eyes, and Violet's thumb wipes them away.
"Oh my sweet, sweet Anthony, you put so much on yourself." She smiles sadly. "Are you saying that you do not deserve to have happiness with the one woman who not only loves you but understands you more than everyone else?"
"Well, not more than you," Anthony laughs softly. "I just do not know if I can let her love me openly and deeply."
"Son, you are so much like your father. He too struggled with accepting love, but when he did, he did it with so much embrace. He is extremely proud of you and he would want you to be loved as deeply as he loved me or I loved him."
"Mama, what have I done to deserve her love? I have brought her only suffering and I am not dead yet."
"My darling child, love is not something that one is deserving of because it should be unconditional," Violet smiles. "You know what you must do now?"
"Yes, I believe I do." Anthony smiles as he hugs his mother, Violet gasped in surprise at the action. He had not done so since he left for Oxford all those years ago.
"I love you, Mama."
Violet smiled and tears came to her eyes as she squeezed him tighter.
"I love you too, my son."
---
There was a thunderstorm and lightening was cracking against the sky and thunder boomed across the earth. You had crept into Edwina's room to talk.
"Edwina, I wanted to say I am sorry."
Edwina had not answered. She laid still on her bed.
"I have decided that I am going to tell Anthony that I am leaving for India with Kate and I thought I should also tell you."
As you were speaking, thunder clapped in the sky and a small whimper left Edwina's lips.
"Bon?"
Nothing but another whimper. You move to Edwina's bed and you sat down. Edwina looked over at you and you open your arms. She quickly rushed into your arms as you moved to her pillow. She wrapped herself in your arms and clung to you with wide eyes and a racing heartbeat.
"Edwina, you are safe. I have you, you are safe." You stroked her hair and you both slowly drifted off to sleep as the rain poured down from the sky, as if it was cleansing the earth of mistakes and washing your mistake with Edwina down with it.
"I love you Edwina," You said.
"I forgive you," She whispers before you hear snores drifting through the air.
Warnings: improper alone time (Ben & reader), sexual tension, me as a writer questioning if I want Ben or Anthony to be the end ship, kissing, male nudity, reader fences Benedict (I know nothing about fencing so I'm sorry if this is bad), semi-smut, handjob, hair pulling
*One of the longer chapters
Summary: You spend more time with a certain Bridgerton brother and start to question whether you could be happy with Benedict rather than Anthony.
Playlist:
Labyrinth by Taylor Swift
If Only by Dove Cameron
Back to the Start by Somo
Dark Paradise by Lana Del Rey (Maybe not a good choice, just depends)
Not many nights had passed since the ball and you were being invited to the Bridgerton house by Daphne, or at least you thought. The days following the ball had been crazy as you were having numerous suitors calling on you because they thought the viscount had forgotten your sister and set his mind on you. Not that it was completely wrong, but you were not talking to Anthony and would not do so until the wedding which was to be in about a month. Not that you were keeping up for when you would have to walk down the aisle, not in a white dress.
Upon your arrival to the Bridgerton home, you were wandering around the house trying to find something interesting. You wandered to the garden and sat under a tree. The refreshing wind cooled you as the tree limbs were shading you away from the harsh sun. You close your eyes and listen to the sounds of nature. Soon, rushed footsteps and shouts had called your attention and you decided to follow it.
---
Benedict and Colin were fencing, and it looked like Colin was winning this match. Benedict was sweating in his fencing uniform and a bead of sweat slowly drips down the side of his face and disappears under his collar.
"Are you going to just stand there and stare or are you going to come over?" Benedict called out, snapping you out of the trance-like state you were in.
"How long have you boys been fencing?" You ask, shielding your eyes from the sun.
"About an hour," Colin smirked, watching you watch Benedict. "I actually have grown quiet tired."
"Would you like me to take over, Mr. Bridgerton?" You asked, hands folded together in front of your waist.
"Do they teach you girls how to fence during your lessons?"
"No, but I have seen my cousins do it."
"You are quiet aware that fencing is a man's sport, Miss Sharma," Benedict said, pushing you. He knew that you would see it as a challenge and it was, the results were exactly what he wanted.
"Rule number one, Mr. Bridgerton, do not underestimate a woman."
Colin mentions your clothing and you realized that it would be harder to move in your dress. You press your lips into a thin line before deciding to walk to the shed. Once inside, you look through the wardrobe inside, finding a pair of fencing clothes. You pull at the buttons of your dress, slipping out of the many layers, including your corset. Putting on the trousers felt odd but they were quite comfortable, more so than your corset.
Coming out of the shed, you walk to the boys again, pushing the leftover shirt into the trousers. You gave them a twirl and beamed brightly.
"Well, don't they fit lovely?" You smiled.
"Yes...yes they do," Benedict looked at the sky, not trying to hide that he couldn't look at you. Your shirt wasn't completely buttoned and Benedict was struggling not to look.
"Are you all right, brother?" Colin asked, a teasing grin creeping onto his face.
"I am quite well, you need not to worry about me brother."
You move closer to him and press you hand against his forehead and felt his temperature. Your breathes mixed in front of you, your chest was practically pressed against his. Benedict's first instinct was to lean in for a kiss, you were intoxicating to him, but as soon as he went to slightly move, he pulled away.
"Shall we return to fencing?" He spoke into the silent garden.
All while Colin was just sitting on the bench, watching the interaction between his brother and the love of his other brother's life.
---
Colin eventually leaves the garden because the heat nearly made him pass out. As you were fencing Benedict, he kept talking as a distraction, and it was working.
"Darling, are you prepared for the art lesson that I have planned for us?" He asked.
"Can't make it, Mr. Bridgerton," You said. "I have a tea party with Daphne. She sent me an invitation letter."
"That was me," He said, tapping you on your left side.
"Benedict, did you invite me here to teach me art or something else?"
The two of you stepped closer, leaving the fencing weapons on the ground. His hands came to rest on your hips, looking around the garden quickly before turning back to you.
"Did you or did you not come here for an art lesson and nothing more?" He asked, dipping his mouth to the underside of your jaw.
"I came here thinking that I would be having tea with your sister," You gasp when his teeth graze your skin. "Benedict, someone will see."
"Let them see," He said. "You should be mine."
Your head tips backwards as his mouth continues the assault on your neck. You let out a moan and he pulls away, placing his index finger over your mouth, making a shhh-ing sound.
"Quiet darling, do you want me to stop?"
You shook you head.
"Words or I will stop."
"I don't want you to stop, Mr. Bridgerton."
His mouth pressed against yours in a searing kiss, lips moving in sync and his hand moves down to your bottom. He walks you over to the bench that Colin had been sitting and he sat you down, bending down to kiss you, never wanting your lips to leave his. You pull back, pressing your hand against his chest and try to catch your breath.
"Stop...stop, we shouldn't do this," You whisper as his mouth chases yours. He is in a kneeling position and his hand is on your hips, covered by your trousers.
"We shouldn't, but we want to and who are we to deny our desires?" He pants.
"Benedict."
---
Making it to his art studio, you laugh at his rain soaked clothes. You were still in your fencing clothes and your dress was in Benedict's hands. You brace yourself against a table, smiling as your hair clung to your face and neck. You were breathtaking in Benedict's mind. How Anthony did not see how truly beautiful you were was beyond him.
"Shall we get to drawing?" He asked, breaking the silence in the cooler room.
"Yes," You said. "I was wondering if I could draw you?"
He nodded and moved to the couch. You shook your head, motioning him to come over to you.
"How do you want me?" He asked, smirking at the fact that you were watching him with such attentive eyes.
"I want you...right here," You moved him to the center of the room, right in front of the window that was lit up by the thunder and lightening from outside.
You moved to the couch to start sketching him, frowning because you could not get his figure right. You walked to him and looked up at him, your noses nearly touching.
"Does sketching me include you being so close to me?"
"I need your shirt off. I need you naked."
"Why?" He asked.
"So I can get a better view of how your body is shaped."
He slowly starts to unbutton his shirt and shrugged it off. Smirking when he noticed your hand instantly reached out to touch his toned chest. He grabbed your sketchbook out of your hands, placing it on the nearest table, and placed them on his warm body. Your mouth opened slightly at the feeling of him. He felt warm, sturdy, and perfect.
His hand was still on yours and he slowly moved it down his chest to his abs to his trousers. You gasped when he moved your hand lower.
"Do you feel what you have done to me?" He asks. "How crazy you have me feeling?"
You nod. Too dumbfounded to say anything.
He moves your hand back up and then completely off him. He takes the button of his trousers into his fingers and pops it out of the hole. He then slowly moves them down his strong, long legs. He then pulls down his underwear. His cock springs up and hits his stomach. He was big. You could tell that the genes in this family were extremely strong. You shook your head and grabbed your sketchbook, instantly drawing what you saw.
"Is this what you wanted?" He asked, his wet hair sticking to his skin. Water droplets were still falling from his head and dripping down his body. The lightening from outside lit up his entire body, making him look like a literal angel.
"This is exactly what I needed." You walked over to him once again, pressing your lips against his. His mouth opened to allow your tongue entrance, swallowing his moans of pleasure. You were doing that to him. You were making him needy for you. You were making him want you, he needed you.
You grip his leaking cock, slowly moving up and down, feeling the silky skin. He threw his head back in pleasure as your hand stroked him.
"Oh my..." He gasped.
"Is this what you need, Mr. Bridgerton?" You look up at him before grabbing his hair to pull him down to your level. "Is this what you need?"
"Y-Yes," He stutters as he tries to hold in his moans.
"Let me hear you, baby." Your hand starts to get more slick with his pre-cum as he gets closer and closer to his end. He starts to shake in your hands as you speed up your hand. He starts to curse and moans started to spill from his mouth.
"Oh fuck, darling," He moans out as he cums on your hand.
You kept pumping him as he shakes from his orgasm. You slowly come to a stop and look him straight in the eyes as you lick his cum off your hand and moan at the taste, eyes rolling back.
"Oh fuck..." He pants, hair sticking to his forehead.
"I love you," He whispers, you don't hear it and he quickly gathers himself up.
"How was your drawing?" He asked, once dressed. His hands were resting on your hips as he presses a quick kiss to your neck.
"I think I will need to finish it a different day."
Warnings: ANGST, ANGST, oh and more ANGST, Benedict and reader gets closer, reader is heartbroken, so much crying, talk of betrayal
Summary: Weeks after Anthony "dumped" you so he could be more serious in his courtship with your sister, you finally tell him that it is time that you both move on in an emotional confrontation.
I'm so sorry that it got so long. I hope that it's good given that I wrote this at like 12 am.
The days passed. The days turned to weeks. The weeks turned into two months. Your days drug on as you prepared yourself for the next outing with your family. You faked a smile, beaming at the right time. Looking at your sisters, smiling and giggling over the hundreds of letters that Anthony wrote to Edwina.
You were staring out the window when you heard your name being called.
"Dear sister, have you read this new letter that Lord Bridgerton sent to me," Edwina beamed like a girl in love.
You turned your head to her, a small sad smile graced your face.
"No, I hadn't."
"I most certainly do not want to." Is what you wanted to say. You wanted to tell her how Anthony only makes those promises of love to you when you are both wrapped at the waist in the sheets of his bed.
Instead you tell her that you were overcome with sleep and preferred to go back to your bedroom. Standing up, you leave the room and put your hand over your mouth as a sob threatens to escape.
You sighed against the bedroom door when it closed and you let the tears fall. You sob right there on your bedroom floor, your dress creating a pool around you as you sank to the floor because your knees couldn't handle the weight of you standing.
You don't try to keep the tears in. You had been waiting to be alone to let them fall. You didn't understand why Anthony couldn't love you.
Why did it have to be you?
Why won't he end the courtship with your sister?
Why did you have to fall in love with him?
-----
The next few days carry the same thing. You smile. You nod. You pretend that you weren't silently dying inside because that is how you should be feeling. You should be happy when you see Anthony kiss Edwina's hand because that is her soon to be husband. He is respectful. He is a gentleman.
----
Your family arrives at the Featherington's house for the annual Featherington ball. Many families of the ton had arrived and were all gossiping to each other in small groups. When the Bridgertons walked in with the Sharmas, the entire room looked over in their direction. All of the Sharmas were there except for you. You had said that you were not feeling like going to the ball. When in fact you had to get ready in your dress that was going to be the best at the ball and you knew that.
You were getting your shoes on when you looked at the window. The night was set and you saw the carriage that waited for you. Stepping out of the house, your deep purple dress trailed behind you a bit. Your dress in the shape of a ball gown that had gems embedded in the fabric. Every time you moved, your dress sparkled. Your hair had one curl that laid gently against your collarbone.
----
Stepping inside the Featherington's home, the entire building went silent as they awaited your next move. Your gloved hands came to rest by your sides and you picked up your dress. You then took a step forward and soon the entire room opened itself up as you cast a smile that could blind anyone who looked too close.
Making your way to the lemonade stand, you bumped into Benedict and you gave him a smile as you looked up to him. You pat him on his arm and he smiles to you.
"You, Miss Sharma, look absolutely gorgeous. I need to have a talk with your Lady's Maid because you look," He said. "Like money doesn't know the price."
You smile and let out a laugh.
"You are too kind with your words, Ben." You set down your glass and then preceded to grab his arm. "Come. Come dance with me."
He leads you to the dance floor, holding your gloved hand. You get in line with everyone else and then preceded to dance. You hand was on his shoulder, his on your hip and holding your hand. You smile at him when he nearly bumps into someone, too busy looking into your eyes.
"Miss Sharma," He started. "I was wondering if you would be interested in another art session."
"As in the same as last time?" You giggle, raising an eyebrow.
"Not quite," He laughed. "I wanted to give you actual art lessons and perhaps actually finish the drawing that I was working on."
"I feel like that can be arranged," You laugh.
"And if anything happens like last time, I may have to marry you."
Your smile falls and you drop his hand.
'Miss Sharma?" You can barely hear him. Your heart was beating too loud.
"Have I said something to offend you?" He asked, confused.
"No, it is not you."
"I feel as though it was. I am terribly sorry for my words that have conflicted hurt onto you."
Just before you could reply, Anthony walked up and greeted his brother.
"I was not aware that you were escorting Miss Sharma to the dance floor," Anthony said. "After all she said that she wouldn't be attending tonight."
He finally turned to you and smiled. You didn't smile back. You eyes were dull. The light had faded from them when seeing Anthony.
"Good evening Lord Bridgerton," You bow quickly.
"I haven't seen you in a long time, Miss Sharma."
You looked at him and wondered if you should even react. You didn't want to see him. You didn't want to talk. But really, you did. You wanted to show him that you were perfectly fine without him.
"You look lovely tonight," he said. " Your dress is beautiful."
He was trying to get a reaction. He wanted to see you swoon for him. At least that is what you thought.
"You look decent." You don't look him in the eyes, knowing that you would fall back to where you started.
"Why thank you. Can I have a dance?"
You nod and you both go to the dance floor. Edwina, Kate and Lady Bridgerton and Lady Danbury all stand to watch.
Anthony takes your gloved hand and he placed your other hand onto his shoulder. He places his other on your hip and begins to move. His touch burns into your dress. You might as well have had nothing on with how warm his hands felt.
Your eyes are locked with his as you move. His eyes were so full of love and adoration that you almost had to look away. Your hand on his shoulder slides up to cup his neck as you both move along in the steps of the song. Your head comes to rest closer to his shoulder and you could feel his breathe fan over the loose curls on your neck. He brings his hand with yours to his chest and you can feel his heart beat.
When you look back in his eyes, it feels like it's just the two of you and no one else was here. It was the two of you and you would stay like this forever. His eyes told you everything you had whispered into the night together.
"I love you more than you will ever know."
---
"Don't they look like they are having fun?" Edwina asked. "I knew that if they spent time together that they would grow to like each other."
The other ladies looked at her.
"I do believe that they do make a good dancing couple," Lady Danbury said.
"A handsome dancing couple," Edwina agreed.
She soon left as Kate was left with the two women.
"Kate, tell me, has your sister always been terrible at hiding her feelings?" Lady Danbury said.
Kate looked confused.
"Her feelings about what?"
"It's more about who." She said as she turned Kate's head gently to the direction in which you were dancing with Anthony.
"Lord Bridgerton?" Kate asked.
"Indeed it seems that they have feelings for each other."
"Lady Danbury you believe that anyone around Lord Bridgerton is in love with him," Kate said.
"Not everyone. You are not."
"Well....no."
"Just keep an eye on them and see what I see," Lady Danbury said. "Now run along."
Kate left to find a glass of lemonade.
"Lady Bridgerton, your son is absolutely enthralled with that girl." Lady Danbury said with a knowing smirk.
"Miss Sharma and my son are not in love," Violet said. "They can't be. He is engaged to her sister."
They look back to you and Anthony. Your eyes seem to never leave each other. Both of your lips were parted slightly as you look like you can't see anything else but each other.
"The eyes can't tell a lie, Violet."
---
"I am sorry for how I left things between us," Anthony said.
"Why?"
"I didn't want things to end that way."
"But they did and now it's over. We are over."
"Over?"
You look at him for a second. You see a man who doesn't realize that he did this to the both of you.
"You ruined us when you decided to court my sister."
"I was courting her before I met you."
"Then you should have never gotten involved with me."
"I wasn't the only one who was involved," He said, pulling the two of you outside away from others. "You were also there in that lake when this all started. I asked you if it was okay and you said yes."
"I didn't know that-"
"You knew that you were betraying your sister and dishonoring yourself but you still did it so do not stand here and twist the blame onto me. I am not the only one who betrayed Edwina."
"You told me you loved me. You promised me that you loved me."
"And I never lied," He said, emotion slipping in. "You were..."
"Then why does it feel like a lie?" You started to feel emotional. "Why did you have to propose to my sister? Why did you have to make me love you?" You fall against him as you sob into his chest. Your hands ball up into fists and you slightly smack them against his chest.
"Why did you make me love you? You sob again. "Why am I not good enough for you to marry instead?"
"You are good enough. You are way too good." Anthony said as he holds you in his arms as your body shakes with sobs.
"What does she have that I don't?" You cry. "What makes you want her to marry her but not me?"
"I can't love her because she isn't you."
Your face is red with tears streaming down your face as you wipe your nose with the back of your handkerchief. You blankly stare at him with tears in your eyes.
"I love you. Can't you see that I'm doing all of this because I love you," Anthony said, desperation creeping into his voice.
"You love me and yet you are still going to marry my sister," You cry. "Someone you do not even love. Why can you not marry someone you love?"
"I have my reasons," He said, thinking of how his mother was after his father died.
"I need to stop loving you," You said.
"You....what?"
" I need to be free of the torment that you have inflicted onto me," You say, calming yourself down. "I need to be with someone else. I'm sorry."
Anthony Bridgerton x female!sharma!sister!reader (soon)
mentions of Benedict Bridgerton x female!sharma!sister!reader
Warnings: cheating (Anthony is engaged to Edwina), SMUT!!!!!! oral (f), fingering, over stimulation, sexual tension, cursing, body worship, jealous Anthony, biting, angst at the end, hair pulling, breeding kink
I'M SO SORRY IT GOT TO BE SO LONG :)
Summary: Anthony finds out about your art session with Benedict and means to remind you who you belong to as you remind him who he chose to belong to.
Songs to listen to while reading: **= smut part, *=angst
**Amantes: Esme (song is in Spanish but is very soft and sets the mood)
LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED, COMMENT OR MESSAGE ME
You watched the Lady's maids get you ready in front of a large mirror. When it came time for you to get your hair done, your best friend, Phoebe, ushered the other maids out. Phoebe was the daughter of your mother's Lady's maid. The two of you grew to be fast friends as you grew older. Phoebe hoping for marriage and you planning to find a man worthy of her.
"If you are not careful, the others will know what you and those two Bridgertons are up to," She said as she pulled your hair off your neck, revealing the bruises from your "art" session with the second son.
"Phoebe!" You gasp. "I told you that as you are my best friend, not for you to use it against me."
"Darling, I am not using it against you nor am I blaming you. Do you know how many women would kill to be in your position?" She giggled as she put your hair in the tight bun that it needed to be in.
"I would rather not be in my position if I could help it," You said while looking down at your hands.
---
The Bridgerton house was covered in their signature baby blues. There were flowers, candles, and other decor everywhere to be seen. All the Bridgerton brothers were decked out in their fancy suits with those beautiful neck ties. Benedict's was a soft yellow and Anthony's was a dark blue. The others wore white.
Dressed in your family's dark purple color, your mother had the neck line deeper than what is normally accepted. You knew that she just wanted to help you find a man but the only man that you really wanted was one who was engaged to marry your sister.
Moving to the drink table, you grab a cup of water. You notice that nearly everyone else had chosen the lemonade. When you turned back around from the table to the ballroom, one Colin Bridgerton was making his way to you.
Giving a short bow, Colin moved to stand beside you.
"Do tell me, Miss Sharma, how have you enchanted my two idiot brothers?" He asked with a sly smirk on his face.
"Why, I do not have the slightest idea," You reply, hoping that he wouldn't pressure.
"See, I don't know if I can accept that answer, Miss Sharma," Colin said. "It seems that their eyes have not left you since you walked into the room."
With that he left your side, only for one Anthony Bridgerton to step into his place.
"Evening, Miss Sharma."
"Viscount Bridgerton." You nod.
"How have you been?"
"I've been fine, my Lord," You quip. "How has your engagement been?"
He looked at you with a flash of hurt at the sudden mention of his engagement to your sister.
"How was the art session with my brother?" He said with a jealous undertone in his voice.
"It was wonderful. I learned a lot. A lot that some men can't teach." You walked away at the end of your sentence as you moved to the dance floor with Anthony.
The way his eyes looked at you with such passion and desire at the same time nearly dizzied you as his left hand came to rest on your waist and his right holding yours. His warm skin melted through the soft white fabric of your glove and you could feel his warmth through your gown.
Your bodies moved in waves of motion as you stared into each other's eyes, mapping out every hue of color as though this will be the last chance you would see each other. After all, this will be your last chance to see Viscount Anthony Bridgerton unwed. The last chance to be with Anthony Bridgerton. Your Anthony.
"Your gown is exquisite, Miss Sharma." Anthony moves to turn you so your back is pressed against his chest, his arm holding yours across your chest. His lips near your ear so you are the only one to hear, his warm breath fans over your exposed neck and the top of your chest as it rises and falls with the sheer excitement and nervousness that came to being this close with the Viscount, your lover in the darkest nights.
"Thank you," You said. "You don't look to bad yourself, My lord. "
"Anthony," He said. "I have told you to call me Anthony."
"My lord, I have only called you that in private." You began to become flustered with the memories of your night meetings before his engagement.
"You seem to be flustered," He says as he pulls you closer as the music stops, his lips directly beside your ear. "Tell me, do you still think of me when you are with my brother?"
You pull back quickly with surprise. You go to say something, anything but you can't seem to find the words.
"It's okay, darling. My brother is a worthy lover, however, I must make you remember who you belong to." He says before squeezing your dress to walk away to greet a man by his mother.
---
You sit in your room, looking out the window at the small lake outside. The night reminds you of when you first let Anthony touch you.
His skin against yours in the cool water as he moved his lips against yours in fever as he wanted to consume your every thought and replace it with him. The way he picked you up out of the water and laid you on that dock. The way he ravaged you with hunger and lust as he picked you apart and put you back together with pleasure being his glue.
Your hands start to wander up and down your body as you remembered the ways that he touched you, making you feel immense pleasure that you had never known until that night. You shake the thoughts away from your mind as it started to thunder outside, signaling a thunderstorm was about to hit. Just as a loud crash of thunder clapped, a small thud against your window sounded so much louder in the howling wind and rain. You open the window to find Anthony Bridgerton soaked head to toe in water. His hair was stuck to his face and his clothes were stuck to his body. He waved you down and you went.
"Have you gone mad?" You whisper shout.
"Mad? No. In love with you? Yes." He smiles.
"You don't mean that, My lord."
"But I do."
"You made me believe you loved me only for you to propose to Edwina. My sister!"
"I never meant to actually fall in love with you!" He yelled, hands coming to be thrown up in the air.
"So it's my fault that you love me? Is that what you are trying to tell me?"
"No! Yes! I don't know how I fell in love with you." He stared at you as the rain continued to pour around you. "I just know why I love you. Let me show you how much I love you."
"What about Edwina?"
"What of Edwina?" He asked, confused at the even mere mention of her. As if the mention of his fiancee was left a bad taste in his mouth. Not that she wasn't a lovely girl, but because she wasn't you.
"What has happened between you two?" You tremble at the thought of the two of them doing the things that you have done together.
"What do you mean by that?" He asked. "Nothing has happened."
"Have you kissed her?"
"No."
"Have you held her body close to yours?"
"No."
"Has she been given the same pleasures that you once gave me?"
"You are the only one that I have ever wanted to be with that way in a long time. I do not care for Edwina that way. When I told you that I only feel this way about you at the lake, I meant it." He said, moving to grab your hands to pull you closer to him.
His brown eyes bored into yours as he scanned your face for any resistance. He pressed his body against yours as he bent his head down to press light kisses on your neck.
"I desire you so deeply I feel it in my bones."
"I believe that may be the cold and the rain."
-----
You lead him into the house, quietly to not wake anyone, and held his hand as he followed behind you up the stairs. As he stared at you with want, you lead him to your bedroom. He helped you run a warm bath as the two of you had been in the rain for the last hour.
You step closer to him, hands coming up to cup his jaw as you pulled him down to you level and kissed his lips. He gasped at the chill of your lips which lead you to slipping your tongue inside his warm mouth. You moaned as your hands wandered his wet body and started to slip his waistcoat off his shoulders to reach his shirt. His own hands came up to start unbuttoned his shirt before you ultimately ripped it off him.
"I quite liked that shirt," he said with a smirk.
"I'll buy you a new one," You said as you unbuttoned his pants and stripped him bare before you.
Your hands came up and started to touch his body as he kissed you, removing your wet clothes for your body. The two of you laid in the tub as the warm water surrounded you both.
Your head on his chest and his chin on the top of your head gave the two of you the feeling of closeness that you needed.
"I love you," he whispered into your hair.
"I know. I love you too."
You turned to kiss his lips and hold him close to you. Your tongues move together as if they were dancing, in secret promises of love and lust. Your hands explore each other's wet bodies as you lay in the warm water. Anthony's chest tickles your back lightly and you can't help but sigh at the thought of being like this forever.
----
Anthony dried you in the white fluffy towel and wrapped you up before grasping your face to kiss your lips once more. His kiss was slow, exploring your mouth as though it would be the last time, not knowing if there would ever be another time he could touch you like this, to taste you like this.
His arms came to pull you flush against his bare body as his hands caressed every inch of your skin, wanting to memorize the feel of your skin underneath his hands, to feel your warmth radiating from you.
He walks you back to your bed, never breaking the kiss until he pulls away long enough to gently push you back so you fell onto the mattress softly, swiftly landing on top of you, connecting your mouths once more. It felt like your air was stolen right out of your lungs and your body set aflame. Your legs spread to allow him to lay in between them as his hands ran down your sides as he kisses your thoughts and air away from you.
Anthony's scent filled your nose as you breathed him in. His touch washed any thought away as his lips ventured down to your neck, kissing and sucking lightly, making you sigh in content as you felt Anthony's tongue gently soothed over any bites that he left as he moved down your body.
Quiet whispers of "You're so beautiful" and "I love you" slipped into the night as Anthony kissed down your stomach and met your hips. Brown eyes met yours as he looked at you for permission. You nodded for him to continue and you closed your eyes as you awaited the blissful pleasure of his mouth on you but it never came.
"Words," His eyes said. "I want to hear you say it."
"Anthony, please! I need you!" You moan as you try to grind your hips into his face.
"I love you," was all he said before he held eye contact as his mouth opened and his tongue touched your pussy. His lips came to your clit as he closed his eyes at the sweet taste of you. He moaned softly into your cunt as you gripped his hair with one hand and the other, the bed sheet. Your hips rolled against his mouth as he pleasured you. You noticed that the bed was moving slightly as you opened your eyes and saw that he was staring at you as he ground his hips into the mattress to relieve himself some of the pressure that was torturing his cock.
"Oh my Lord!" You nearly shout as you clasp a hand over your mouth to quiet yourself.
"Do not bring my title into this bed," He grunted against your body.
You moaned at the sheer feeling of his fingers slipping into your hole, stretching you for the later events with his dick. He looked at your with admiration as he played your body like a violin. Anthony slipped from your hips as he moved himself to rest his face above yours.
"So beautiful."
"Anthony," You gasped into his mouth, panting to catch your breath.
"Does this feel good?"
You moan as his fingers brush your g-spot before curling there and massaging it.
"It does feel good, doesn't it?" He smirked. "So pretty. My pretty girl."
"Anthony," You keen. Your stomach tightening. "Please."
"My sweet girl, you don't have to beg." He looked down at your soaked pussy. "Cum."
Your orgasm wracked through you as Anthony continued to finger you through it. Waves of pleasure washed over you as over stimulation started to set in.
"Anthony," You whine.
"One more."
His fingers sped up as his search for another orgasm from you became desperate.
"Such a good girl," He praised. "My good girl. Doing everything that I tell you. Thinking that she can just fuck my brother but look who has her now. Look at how good you are being for me."
Your back arches as you let out a moan and Anthony clasps a hand over your mouth to silent you. You cum once more before Anthony moves in between your legs once again to line himself up with your entrance.
"Gonna fill you up so good," He groaned as he sunk into you. "Gonna see you so full of me, going to be dripping me for days."
You groan as he starts slowly moving against your walls as you clamp down on him, slowing his movements even further.
"I want to feel you," You moan as your arms wrap around his shoulders and pull his weight on you. You hand goes to his hair and you gasp when he thrusts deeply.
"Oh, Anthony."
"Yes, moan my name. Forget my brother. Forget any other man but me. I am the one making you feel this good." He groans into your neck as he starts to pick up pace.
"Only you, Anthony," You moan, back arching off the bed and your hips rising to meet his. "Only you make me feel this good."
His lips find yours and swallows your loud moans, keeping them for himself and only him. His hips move faster as he starts to get near his release. His thumb moves to your clit and starts to circle it as he kisses your neck and move down to your breasts, sucking softly.
"So beautiful," He moaned. "My pretty girl."
Your orgasm hit you like a train and you bite down where his shoulder meets his neck, earning a hiss from Anthony as he moved over you quickly, jack-hammering into you, trying to reach his end. You hands pull at his hair and his lips find yours.
His warmth spills inside you, your eyes rolling back as you feel him fill you completely. He falls on top of you, trying to catch his breath. You look at him in the soft moon light shining from your window. The rain was still coming down hard outside.
"I love you," You whisper.
He turns to look at you, smiling at your words.
"I love you too."
You smile before sliding closer to kiss his lips. His arms come around your body and pull you closer to his body so your legs tangled together.
"I wish we could be like this forever," You sigh, drawing circles on his chest with your finger.
"I know, I know." He sighed as he relaxed against you. "I wish it wasn't like the way it is."
You turn to look at him with a frown.
"When do you need to be back home before one of my sisters find us?"
"I can leave in about an hour," He said, looking into your eyes before kissing you softly.
"I can work with that," You smile before turning over to sleep against his chest.
"I love you, Miss Sharma."
----
You awoke with the other side of the bed cold. You turned over, hoping, wishing, that Anthony was still there. That he had chosen to stay, to risk being caught just so he could wake up next to you. You remember the feeling that you got when he used "Miss Sharma" rather than your name when he told you that he loved you. It was too vague for your liking. There were three "Miss Sharmas'." You sigh before getting up to start your day.
You look at his side and realize that there was a letter on your bedside table.
My Dearest, Miss Sharma
I awoke with a perplexed train of thought as I watched you blissfully sleep. I love you as deeply as the deepest parts of the oceans and even further than that. I wish there was a way for me to sleep in the same bed as you. To stay in the same home with you, to hold your love as close as I can until it was the only thing that I knew. I wish there were a way for me to undo everything that I gave done. I struggle with words compared to Benedict which on the subject of Ben, I give you my full permission to pursue him. Just because you can not find the happiness that you deserve with me, does not mean that my dear brother can not full fill that void that I have caused to be created in your soul.
I love you, Miss Sharma. How I wish I were able to say, "I love you, Mrs. Bridgerton. My viscountess." Perhaps in a different reality were I didn't propose to your sister, it would be you who I am marrying. Someone that I truly love despite that being everything I did not want when I was looking for a bride.
Ha! Hopefully he actually does just not marry Edwina since he clearly wants the reader instead. Also I think they are worried about being caught but in the moment they aren't thinking about the consequences of if they were to be caught because all throughout the story, the reader has tried to break the hold Anthony has over her but I don't think it's working lol.
