&&. announcing his royal highness, ( niklaus laurent oskar von grünenberg ), the ( 26 ) year old ( prince ) of ( switzerland ). he is often confused with ( herman tømmeraas ). some say that he is ( a moron ), but he is actually ( a moron, but very fun ).
NAME: niklaus laurent oskar von grünenberg
KNOWN AS: klaus, the evil twin, nik/nick (it’s his ‘fratsona’, used mainly by his frat brothers in america), the annoying one, dj sloppy sixths
BIRTHDATE: august 16, 1997
ASTROLOGY: leo sun/aquarius moon/aries rising
GENDER: cis man (he/him)
SEXUAL ORIENTATION: pansexual (though he doesn’t mind being grouped into bi)
FAMILY: max, hans, heinrich, ren, and sylvie (siblings), catherine (sister-in-law), freddie (nephew), elyse (cousin). (there’s probably more i’m missing, i’ll add them later)
TLDR;
he and sylvie are the twin youngest swiss siblings. they lost their dad before they developed object permanence
growing up in such a crowded household, klaus figured out the best way to get attention was to be outrageous. it kind of became his defining trait.
sylvie truly carries all of his braincells
he started getting into fights for fun as he got older, found out he was pretty good at it. and that you got even more attention for it.
he’s known to tell mostly untrue stories just for the gag of it all. they tend to be heavily embellished, but they’re usually entertaining. and that’s what he thinks really matters.
this man has made multiple life decisions based off of movies.
almost got kicked out of le rosey for starting a fight club
went to america for college to get his party on, ended up getting connected to influencers.
he’s gotten into celebrity boxing this year and is very good at it. catch his next pay per view match.
he’s fought whoever the hshq-verse jake paul is (and won)
there’s probably a tiktok of him doing the renegade out there. he’s not allowed a personal tiktok anymore.
he also moonlights as a dj. he wears a mask while he does it, to “preserve his identity.”
he got tricked into joining the program, he thought his dj career was about to pop off with a show in ibiza. there was no show.
he will start fights, bet on fights, etc. he will also hit on married people, he doesn’t usually expected it to work.
basically, he’s a messy bitch who lives for drama.
BIO;
As the youngest and least politically significant Grünenberg son, it is likely that most of the headlines or information most people have read about the boy has more to do with his boxing career than it does with any consequential decisions he's made for the Swiss people. Perhaps an article on his military service, a gym selfie, or a party he was kicked out of sprinkled in for good measure. But those articles are different, those are filler pieces, they’re tabloid fodder. The headlines, the places where he has actual impact, is in the sports sections and the pay per view.
Even before he made his name as a celebrity boxer fighting everyone’s least favorite personalities, Klaus had been practicing. Though, at the time, he hadn’t quite anticipated what he was preparing for. So, in a review of his past, in only makes sense to view it through the lens of some of the most notable fights in his past. The dust-ups that brought this prince into the king (of celebrity boxing matches for charity. Not of Switzerland):
Klaus vs. Grünenbergs
It was a dark and stormy night that Klaus was born, just how he liked it. The flashes of lightning and rolling of thunder carrying just the amount of drama and mood setting that the youngest prince would one day come to desire and respect. Niklaus ‘Klaus’ Laurent Oskar Grünenberg, a natural superstar, was born into an already very crowded house, where he already had a rapt audience, awaiting his debut. Max, when trying to assert how he was so old and mature, would tell him how he was in the study with their father and many other important men, awaiting the news of their birth. Klaus took a very different message from this not-really-a-flex from his older brother. He was born to a captivated, not captive, audience. It only made sense. Of course people were excited to see him. He was about to bring some more fun and drama into the lives of the family.
That had been the plan, to be the beloved twins to a happy family. But mere months after the twins were born, Switzerland’s beloved king died in a skiing accident. How Swiss of him. Naturally, it devastated both the family and the nation. Well, most of the family. The twins were still working on their object permanence. Klaus has no real memories of his father. He’d heard stories from those that knew him, his mom and older brothers, and from some of the citizens. It seemed like everyone had a glowing opinion of the man. Klaus has even read articles on him (Klaus knows how to read? Shocking, I know). But none of that ever really replaced that feeling like something was missing. And it was mostly that, a yearning, missing a man he never really knew. But it wasn’t a deep mourning that he saw the echoes of in his mother or siblings or nation. It was just...absence. It was a glaringly empty seat in the audience of his life, whether literal or metaphorical. A seat no one could or would ever fill, no matter how much they tried.
In the wake of loss, there was a splintering of many of those old enough to remember. Max, off to training to be the next king, Hans as a back up (who knew when the next tragedy would strike), Uncle Dorian stepping in to fill the throne, and Mom spreading herself so thin, she often looked like she would break. And for the youngest of the group, they were to be raised in the shadow of death. It was already hard, being the fifth of sixth children, to find his way into the limelight. There were so many of them, and only a limited number of nannies. And when everything was in shadow, it was even harder to find the spotlight. At least his sister had being the first and only princess of Switzerland to her credit. He was just the youngest son. Voted “Least Likely To Inherit The Throne” and therefore, least important.
So, who was he supposed to become? When your family already had an heir, a genius, a peacemaker, a prodigy, and a darling, what else was he supposed to become other than outrageous? How else was Klaus supposed to get the attention he needed, if not for saying and doing things only to raise eyebrows and give those around him premature grey hairs? It was the only natural conclusion. He had to fight for the love and attention he needed. Outrageousness was the only way to exist.
Klaus vs. Ski Lift
It took Klaus and Sylvie at least 11 years to get their mother to allow them onto the slopes. Some of the siblings took an approach called “logic” or “reason”. They told her how only 38 people died on average per year, or how when you’re skiing, there was a 0.69/1,000,000 rate of fatal injury. Dad’s accident had been a freak occurrence. So rare, that it was investigated by multiple Swiss agencies to figure out just what added up to such a tragic event.
But Klaus’ reasoning was so much simpler. He wasn’t interested in skiing. He wanted to go snowboarding. He was going from 2 wooden sticks to 1. It was a completely different thing from skiing all together. And besides, how was he going to be a Real Swiss if he wasn’t allowed to ski?
For some reason, his reasoning wasn’t as effective with their mother as some of the other siblings’.
Now, once the twins get on the slopes, this is where stories get a little hazy. If you ask Klaus, depending on how many drinks he’s had, when you ask him, where you ask him, how big the crowd is, and what he thinks might be funniest, you will get different stories about exactly what happened. What everyone chooses to believe tends to be more of a Rorschach test on how much they witnessed and their own opinions on the credibility of Klaus’ claims.
Most stories seem to corroborate that he had been snowboarding for a few years at this point. He wasn’t going to give his mother a heart attack first time at the alps. That was a surefire way to end his snowboarding career before it could really begin. No, it had to be a few years into it. Stories differ on if the events happened early on in the day or if it was in the afternoon after a few runs. Regardless, all tellings indicate that he got on the ski lift with Sylvie, naturally. It was a rare occurrence to see them separated at that age.
The tale quickly becomes a choose-your-own-adventure from there. Sometimes, Klaus claims that he fell off the ski lift, that it was really just an accident. Sometimes he likes to add in that he rolled down and started becoming a large snowball, rolling up everything in his path. Naturally, credulity is stretched at that point. Other times, Klaus likes to entertain the idea that it was a dare. Sylvie, or perhaps another sibling, friend, or even just someone he met on the slopes that day, dared him to jump off, land on his board, and snowboard down to the bottom. For a little more of a dramatic flair, there’s the occasional whispering that Sylvie actually pushed him off, that it was a prank from his cruel, cruel, twin that he loved so very much. Once, and only once, Klaus made the claim that the ski lift suddenly lurched to a stop and threw him off the ski lift, making him land face down in the snow. Somehow, others were not thrown off at the same time in this single retelling of events.
Regardless of how he fell off the ski lift, most stories mention spraining one or both of his ankles and getting a bloody nose. Usually, there is a fractured wrist mentioned. Once or twice he claimed he left a ‘trail of blood’ going back to the lounge that ‘attracted wolves’. Another time, he claimed it froze on the tip of his nose and gave him a blood icicle coming off his nose by the time he got to a medic.
Who is to say what the truth was? After all, he has fallen off a ski lift three different times. So, who is to say that all of these stories don’t have some drop of truth to them? They certainly all have at least one drop of blood.
Klaus vs. Le Rosey
Really, this shouldn't even be seen as a fight. This was a gift that Klaus brought to the very prestigious boarding school. It's bold to claim that a 16 year old was bringing a gift to a world-renowned boarding school. However, what else would you call it when he single-handedly forced the Swiss crown into funding a new sports program?
It started innocently enough. Klaus, having seen Fight Club and being very much entranced at this idea of fraternal bonding over a split lip or two, decided that he too was interested in this sort of brotherhood. It wasn’t that hard, really. He mentioned it to a few of his teammates, and before long he had word spreading amongst the rugby team. Who, when they heard such a brilliant idea, took it to the ice hockey, basketball, and cross country teams. Before long, there was a group of boys meeting up, secretly, in a rather untraveled part of the campus, to recreate the iconic movie. It was usually at night, under the claim of “study group.”
It was rare that an idea of Klaus’ actually became as successful as his fight club did. He’d expected perhaps a handful of his friends, but every week, it seemed to bring even more boys. Every week, the lies, the sneaking around, the fighting, it was all exhilarating. In fact, the bedtimes after, he would sometimes struggle to sleep, his heart still pumping with so much adrenaline.
Truthfully, it was a learning experience. They learned how to fight better, some “self defense”, how to lie a little bit better. It was a social club, a fraternizing event, if you will. Even the boys who didn’t fight as much, they still seemed to bond and benefit from attending each week. Collectively keeping the secret, helping their friends, and being apart of the thrall of excitement, it was trust-building and strengthened all their relationships.
Klaus still maintains that he would’ve gotten away with it for longer than a couple of months if the group hadn’t got so big. It was his own fault for being so popular and having such genius ideas.
Anyways, when they got busted, because a teacher came looking for them to “check up on them” or whatever, some of the less loyal in the fight club ratted him out as the instigator. One thing lead to another, and he was sitting in the headmasters’ office about to be expelled. Just because he was providing another extracurricular club that was “unsanctioned,” that was worth kicking him out? It seemed a little extreme, if you asked Klaus.
Max, for once in his life, seemed to see reason, and was fighting the school to keep him enrolled. He tried to argue about how Klaus was maintaining his grades, was doing very well socially, and was one of the best rugby players on the team. And Max was correct! He was an important part of the Roséen social fabric. That didn’t seem to be enough on it’s face, though. They still wanted to kick him out. Klaus wanted to tell them to just do it, then, but luckily Sylvie was able to come talk some sense in to him.
Though Le Rosey will continue to maintain they do not accept any donations from families and that they like to remain independent, there was some sort of patronage extended to the school and suddenly the school was providing a boxing program as one of the sports options to their students. AKA, through his brilliant inspiration and team building initiative, with the support of the crown, Klaus was able to bring a new sport to an elite boarding school. It was hardly a “fight.”
Though, Klaus was kept on a shorter leash by both his family and the school for the remainder of his schooling at Le Rosey. But that is neither here nor there and not as sexy of an addendum to the story, so Klaus would like it to be stricken from the record and memory.
Klaus vs. HSHQ-verse Jake Paul
If you were to ask Klaus now, he would be emphatic on the idea that boxing was a way of life, that it chose him, it wasn’t something you could just fall into. But that, like most things he’s said, might’ve been a bit of an exaggeration. Sure, he’s made lifestyle changes and put in great effort to remain in peak condition, for any surprise bookings his agent may get him. However, no amount of core exercises will change how his own journey to celebrity boxing was, after all, mostly through happenstance.
It all started in college. Yes, Klaus actually made it to college. His family made him choose a good school. If it wasn’t in any official rankings, then it wasn’t allowed. And for some reason “#1 Party School in the U.S.” wasn’t official enough of a ranking. So he went with #18, which also happened to be #5 Undergrad Business program, UT Austin. That’s right, Klaus was going to get himself a pair of snakeskin boots and have his college experience in Texas. Yeehaw.
His college experience, thankfully, lived up to the hype. He did it all. He got to check out American fraternities, go to house parties and far more pedestrian and grungy parties than he thought possible for his fellow royals to throw. He managed to pass his classes (though, he’d argue, it was business, how hard was it to think of a marketing campaign for a candy?). He got to fully participate in the “Ain’t No Laws When You’re Drinkin’ Claws” culture. He even managed to befriend the bodyguard that was sent to go with him undercover as another student. He even frequented the iconic street of bars the Dirty Sixth, and has been seen in the background of a few pick up artist videos filmed on the street.
Luckily, his own move to Texas happened to coincide with a massive influencer exodus to the state. So, towards the end of his own college experience, he went from hanging out with the fraternity brothers (who at first didn’t believe him when he said he was a prince) and other college friends, to hooking up with a tiktokker, and making his way into the social circles of many a twitch streamer, tiktokker, podcaster, and other career internet users. At the time, it just seemed like fun. He’d learn renegade, maybe get invited to some more fun celebrity events instead of all the uptight ones he was used to. This was just a fun little cherry on top of his American College Experience. He’d come visit them again in the future, probably. His siblings would question why he knew so many random celebrities, and he’d get to reuse his cowboy hat and daisy dukes once or twice a year.
It wasn’t until after he completed his military service, when he was trying to figure out next steps, that an old friend invited him to come hang out. After a few drinks and maybe an additional substance or two, they began to reminisce over the good old days. How occasionally, after a certain number of drinks, it wasn’t exactly uncommon for Klaus to end up wrestling or fighting another guy. It was usually consensual and just for fun. Usually. Unless someone had said something fucked up to one of the people in their group and no one managed to calm him down before it escalated. Apparently, the reputation had stuck.
After a bit of reminiscence, it came up that their talent agent was putting out feelers for a boxing match against a particular internet personality that was rather hated. For a lot of other influencers, it seemed too toxic to have their name tied to such a hated personality. But for Klaus? He didn’t have an internet brand to be concerned about. And he’d been fighting for like a decade now. He’d do great. So, after telling his friend to give his name to their talent agent, and some personal training to get used to the rules that would be implemented on a regulation fight.
And it felt good to get back in the ring. Even beyond just winning. There was something unmistakably intimate about fighting. And it wasn't just when you were pinned to the ground or straddled by your opponent. It's how close you were, breathing the same air, bodies working in sync, reacting to each other. The sweat dripping down your back, skin on skin contact, if you were lucky. You wouldn't be the first one to point out that there were parallels to sex. But with that came so many weighted assumptions. Fighting was cleaner, lighter. It was easier. And the bruises that came, they usually lasted longer than the hickeys your partner might give you. And when you pressed down on them after, they actually hurt. And the pain brought back the memory all over again.
Even better, perhaps, was the way people would treat you after. The gentle fingers tracing over scars and bruises, with inquisitive eyes. The deft hands bandaging over wounds or stitching you back up. Even when they weren't as gentle, weren't as concerned for your well-being, it was still a spectacle to observe. Your older brothers would actually pause whatever they were doing and give you a once over before shaking their heads. They might even ask you what happened, listening, shaking their heads, and paying attention while you regaled them with the full story. The family doctor would address you with a level of almost expectancy, a kind of familiarity you doubted the other siblings ever reached.
After his first hit, both literally and metaphorically, Klaus was hooked. Finally, he’d found an avenue, where his penchant for fighting was condoned. Where he wouldn’t need to be picked up by a disappointed family member afterwards, but instead a limousine. It wasn’t long before his name was showing up more regularly on pay-per-view television. His fights were events. And for him, they were access not only to influence and a name of his own, but to intimacy and love. How could he ever give that up?
Klaus vs. Uncle Dorian
This fight was unfair and was truly filled with sucker punches and low blows on the part of Uncle Dorian. You see, Klaus only really finished up his conscription earlier this year, and having been so busy trying to really make a name for himself in boxing, he hadn’t really gotten fully oriented at home for a while. Max had only been gone for, what? Like a month? He’d assumed everything was going fine. He worked with the kitchen staff to make sure he was hitting his macros for training, he kept most of the training to either outside or in the gym. He also kept his music to what he believed to be a reasonable volume. In fact, if you asked Klaus, he would say he was trying his very best to behave! Now, he couldn’t help it if his siblings would rile him up and get him to say very outrageous, but very funny, things. And who was he to say no to a very beautiful duchess who just so happened to already be married when they hooked up?
Klaus assumed everything was going so fine, that when his uncle encouraged him to take a vacation to Spain, he thought it was looking out for his wellbeing. Klaus’ assistant even told him he’d managed to book a show on Ibiza for late August. It was no understatement to say that Klaus took this as a chance for his big break. DJ Sloppy Sixths hadn’t gotten any major stages. He’d played at clubs and discotheques, usually in very early or very late slots. And he wasn’t usually allowed to use any of the fog or lasers or pyrotechnics, but he appreciated the stage time. Ibiza, though? Klaus didn’t know he was so close to becoming a multi-hyphenate. Prince-Boxer-DJ had a nice ring to it.
It wasn’t until his bags were unloaded at The Program’s resort, and after seeing the fourth royal in such a short time frame that Klaus began to realize that perhaps he had been lied to. After interrogating the assistant who lied to him, he learned that there had never been a show in Ibiza, and there was no party yacht that he would be taking his friends around the islands of Spain on. It had all been a ruse. He had been bamboozled into leaving Bern to come to what? A diplomats’ convention? What was he going to do? Broker peace in the octagon?
He fired the lying assistant and is interviewing new assistants while his talent manager, trainer, and hype man help him fill the gaps.
Klaus, never one to be deterred, still has his heart set on Ibiza. Even if not headlining on some stage, even if not on a party yacht with models, and even if he must sneak out to go there, the Swiss prince is determined. He will get his vacation, he will take a pill in Ibiza.
HEADCANONS
He would do MMA if he didn’t think his mom would lose it
Moonlights as a DJ, goes by “DJ Sloppy Sixths”. He wears a mask so his identity is “hidden” but it’s not that well kept of a secret. Klaus will invited anyone out to his shows. The mask is more of a deadmau5/marshmello vibe over like daft punk. His music is thoroughly mediocre.
Max knows about Klaus’ DJing. It was revealed to him as part of the distraction while Sylvie helped Catherine sneak Freddie out.
Frequently jokes that he’s not just a twin, he’s a triplet, but he ate his triplet in the womb. That’s why he’s so powerful. In reality, there was no triplet. It’s just funny to see people’s reactions. His siblings play along for the most part.
Speaking of more frequent jokes, at holiday events, he often will give speeches. bb boy loves attention. They usually start off sounding Kind Of Normal, but somewhere around halfway through, it becomes obvious he’s doing another action movie monologue. Most of the siblings think it’s funny.
Klaus is competitive and will be competing for Freddie’s favorite uncle. He’s already bought his own babybjörn
To prove he was responsible enough to use the babybjörn, he carried around his french bulldog in the babybjörn for a while. The frenchie seemed to enjoy it. Don’t be surprised if you see him running around with a frenchie strapped to his chest.
The crown has his phone’s IP address banned from tiktok and many other social media sites. They don’t trust him (and probably appropriately so). He does occasionally use VPN’s to get around it, but it’s only for his DJ account, where he’s always wearing a mask. So he thinks that doesn’t really count.
credit: the template for the graphic up there is here
