slow down, darling

Fight me (ง︡’-‘︠)ง Nikoletta Oliver l 26 l Mom l Wife & my husband is literally the worst™️

[officialunitedstates]

i hate pacman.  stop eating all the dots.  leave some dots for the rest of us you stupid piece of circle

[thebootydiaries]

me: I'm going to bed early tonight.

me:

me: is that the sun

[d0nn0-deactivated20150125]

the fallen

[shes-a-virgo]

[flacomexicano-deactivated201806]

this could be us but u scared

[gaymigration-deactivated2016100]

do you have a girlfriend ?

I have anxiety

[limoncellolacroix]

“MAYBE IT’S NOT MY WEEKEND, BUT IT’S GONNA BE MY YEAR” I scream at 12 am with tears streaming down my face and a bottle of champagne in my hand. it has not been my year yet. it’s not even a weekend today is Thursday

[weedpoop]

if your girlfriend is cold, be a gentleman. put her in the oven for 40 minutes on 350. check often and serve plain or with white gravy

[the-memedaddy]

[thebootydiaries]

me at 3am: [crying]

husband: omg what’s wrong

me, shaking: nothing…

him: it’s ok just say it

me: idk i just feel like if we were born as worms u wouldn’t like me .. would u even marry me ? whatever just forget it …

[britney2007spears]

yes, i am a hipster :-), have you heard of lana del rey?? probably not.

[ondoinganevildeedblues]

you can tell a lot by a womans hands, for instance, she has hooves? horse. 

[pizzaback-deactivated20201011]

hewwo darkness my old friend

[thebootydiaries]

stranger: hey nice shirt!

me: aw this? thanks! :)

me texting my bf: I've met someone else. Someone who appreciates me

[pomeranian2]

[alienscumbag]

[scruffy-knee-socks]

[93749185789183]

give em the ol razzle dazzle

[saintsoup]

drake stoppin the game to see if the ladies in the crowd are being treated well