Being able to accomplish things under seemingly more difficult circumstances does not give you the right to invalidate the struggles of someone who is going through the same, but is not achieving the same results as you. Invalidating struggle means invalidating progress.
Your achievements are yours. How you got there are your testimonies to your capabilities. You have every right to be proud of yourself. Great performances ought to be celebrated, after all. However, they should not be used as standards for others. Do they make you better? Perhaps, to a certain measure. I think it depends on what you’re weighing it up against: skills, awards, relationships, finances, health, etc. “If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid.”
Our situations aren’t false dichotomies; nothing is always black and white. Similarities and generalities exist, of course. We would lose all objectivity without them. However, we sometimes fail to look into the different nuances that have compounding effects on the whole performance of the individual. I applaud you if you were able to handle heavier workloads or if you had it much harder during your time and still survived. Were those the baseline standards? Perhaps you were really good then. But who sets these standards anyway? If so many think they’re so unfair or even inhumane, maybe it’s because they are? Are the circumstances then the same now? Or do I really just belong to a generation of whiner-babies? Or am I unconsciously gaslighting myself into thinking that because of the status quo for so long? “That’s how it has always been.” So even if you see that there’s a better way to do it, you won’t bother to change?
This is also starting to look like an argument on a means to an end. You ultimately judge based on the results, but what about the experiences that led to that outcome? And I guess it also depends on who’s looking, as well. A performance board, a criminal court, a class report—versus someone doing a self-assessment. I think it’s different when you say that one should be used as an example versus when one should be used as a standard. It’s truly a difficult matter to be objective about when so many factors can be considered subjective.
I do not like mediocrity. I do not tolerate toxicity either. There is a fine line between tough love and bullying. One develops motivation; the other, fear. Both may achieve the same results on the surface, but they differ greatly underneath. Motivation establishes a strong foundation that will support you when things shake you up; fear feels more like a haphazard construction that could crumble any time. Being the bare minimum is okay because according to the set standards, you’re up to par. But you don’t have to stop there either, especially if you know you could be more. And it’s this desire for improvement that should be nurtured. Nurtured, not forced.
Growth takes time, effort, and patience. There’s a right way to get there, but the right way is not necessarily the same path for everyone. However, trust that all these paths eventually lead to your destination.
__________________________
Thoughts inspired by this Twitter thread.
What pink says is true. These are very real reasons why I’m having apprehensions about going into training myself. Of course, nothing is easy. Calling it difficult would be an understatement. That’s expected. Suffer, if we must, but let us suffer with dignity. There’s got to be a way to make adjusting to that kind of life easier. Some may thrive in the toxicity, but others falter. It’s honestly quite disheartening to see that even if you may have the smarts, the attitude, and the grit, but sometimes things can still become overwhelming. I’m not going to go into the nitty gritty details of it anymore, but anyone familiar with medical training knows that this is indeed a systemic problem. True, not everyone recognizes that it’s there. Others even deny that a problem exists. Some just don’t care anymore.
But, to be honest, I don’t think blue is totally in the wrong either. I just don’t like the condescending tone with which it was delivered (especially after seeing all the other tweets and receipts, hahaha gotta love twitter for this). Perhaps coming from such a triumphant place of overcoming all those challenges, the responses could have been meant for dispelling pink’s negative notions about residency. Could have actually convinced someone to go into training, but instead sounded rather arrogant. The initial intention may have been good and not really to invalidate anyone’s struggles, but there was a problem in the communication or idk maybe not and blue was just being an ass lol.
Anyway, those are just my opinions on the matter. Your thoughts?
Parbaking is the process of partially baking dough (sometimes rapidly frozen and stored afterwards) before it is combined then fully baked with other ingredients to make a finished product.
My thoughts in these write-ups are exactly that—half-baked; par-baked. Everything is a draft.
May not seem like it, but I’ve always had some trouble with expressing my ideas because it always feels like I have a lot more thinking to do. I’m always so unsure if they’re right. Are they insensitive; are they offensive; are they ignorant? Or do they even make any sense? There are times when I find them contradicting. Tired of keeping them to myself, I’ve decided to put them up for perusal. Maybe giving them form will help me gather the ingredients to continue the baking process. Shyness over my writing be damned; I just want to have a finished product. Plus I’m always happy to receive corrections and constructive criticism. We all just want to be better.
Par-baked Thoughts (#parbakedthoughts) will be my occasionally updated collection of drafts of personal opinions, reviews, unsolicited advice, fictional scenarios, and any other random ramblings. Hopefully, it will also be an avenue for discussion and a refinery for thought and writing.
Before I go into the main gist of this post, let me give you a small background story. I was a mid-year post-graduate intern in Manila who started in January 2021. I lived alone in our condo unit near the hospital I went to. My usual routine was to get up early, prep, take a short walk to the trike station where I’d take a tricycle to the hospital, go on duty, insert a coffee or carioca break in between, walk all the way home at the end of the day, then maybe have a short study session with a couple friends after dinner or just chill at home. It was a pretty good setup. But then COVID happened. Suddenly, I was a pandemic e-ntern stuck at home listening to Zoom endorsements and lectures all day. At first I was hopeful that things would somehow go back to normal and maybe I wouldn’t be spending the rest of my internship in front of a screen, but we all know how that turned out.
I finished the first half of my internship with the regular year PGIs online. While they were prepping for their boards, I was on my second half with the new batch of interns (that’s probably you, dear reader)—still online. Now you might think that it would have been wise of me to use all that “free” time to start early with my own boards prep and you would be correct. I thought the exact same thing. And trust me, I tried. And failed. Countless times. I won’t even try to justify it. Admittedly, I still think it was a wasted opportunity to read more and make notes, but then again, there’s no use crying over spilled milk. Besides, while it would have been nice and probably less stressful, I still survived without it. Which means that you can, too. So if you’re one of those who’s berating himself because you “didn’t make the most out of your time”, cut it out. You’ll be fine.
Towards the end of my internship, I enrolled in a review center. Despite the asynchronous setup, the review schedule was super tight and the sessions already started while I was still in the middle of final reports and exams. Needless to say, I was already behind on that before it even began. In fact, I didn’t even get to focus on reviewing itself until maybe around early February because of clearance, paperwork, and application stuff. So if you were to ask me how long I really reviewed for the March 2021 boards, I’d say just a little over a month. Kasalanan ko. Wag po tularan. Stressful siya. Nakakaloka.
And even when I did get to really buckle down and do some intense reading, I didn’t follow the program anymore. I tried to catch up at first, but I was already way behind. But I am grateful for all the summarized material because that meant I didn’t have to pore over the mother books anymore. What I will say, though, is that because I didn’t exactly follow the recommended study hours etcetera, I was able to enjoy the whole process because I did it at my own pace. Sure, there was still that dread that maybe I wasn’t on the same level as the others, but I learned to tune those thoughts out eventually. And that’s where goal-setting and discipline comes in, I guess.
The most common question I’ve been getting is what was my day like during the PLE review season. Honestly, I’d like to say I had a routine I followed, but that’s only half-true. While I did have a structure for my day, I rarely followed it exactly. Nevertheless, allow me to share what it would have been like if I did:
Ideally, I’d wake up at 5:00 A.M. then do my morning routine which included prayer and meditation, making my bed, taking a shower, and brewing coffee. And because I’m the type of person who enjoys these mundane activities and slow mornings, I also took this opportunity to get myself in the zone before all the studying that’s to come. I’d plan out my study goals and outline (something you can do the night before, actually) then maybe have breakfast while watching some videos (could be review-related, or those self-motivational vids, or maybe even Korean street food). I’d do whatever I wanted to wake my brain up without stressing it out too much until around 6:30 A.M. By this time, I’d work on backlogs for about an hour and study until about 10 or 11 A.M.—it depends how in the zone I am. I’d prep and cook lunch and then eat while watching Netflix maybe or even play a bit of Fortnite or Paladins until about 1:00 P.M. At this point, I’m pretty certain to be quite sleepy so it’s either I make coffee or tea, or maybe even go out to study at a coffee shop, and then it’s study all the way until 7 P.M. I then take a break to get some exercise, take a shower, have a light dinner, and if I feel like I deserve it, nap for a little bit. At around 8:30, my family usually calls and then we pray the rosary together. After this, I study again, but more of a recall and review session for the day’s progress until about 11:30. I then have my night self-care routine and then go to sleep around midnight.
The main takeaway from the previous paragraph? “Ideally.”
During the first few days of setting up my schedule or routine, following it was already challenging, but still doable. But then the backlogs started piling up and no matter how much I tried to streamline the whole study process, I just couldn’t keep up. I did what I could to follow study habits and schedules, but the setup was falling apart. And you know what? That was okay.
Normally, my type A self would have been so frustrated already with how poorly I was handling my review season. Admittedly, there were a few meltdowns and anxiety attacks as the exam drew nearer, but for the most part, I just let things happen as they did. I still adjusted, sure, but I wasn’t hard on myself for always having to. I kept changing goals when I didn’t meet them (which was probably 80% of the time). There were even instances where I’d finish a handout and then I’d say that okay, I’ll watch an episode for a reward, but that episode became the entire season. While I considered myself to be the most chill reviewee, I also thought I was the worst because I refused to give up any of my wants for my needs. I resisted, of course, but then they’d bug me the entire time I was studying so instead of staying productive, I’d just annoy the hell out of myself. I was probably just lazy and stubborn. LOL. Long story, short, it was a constant battle.
There were times when I felt confident enough to power through the whole thing. I enjoyed the whole process of studying, actually. Making notes and my own ways of memorizing things was fun. I made use of different study strategies, self-checks, and motivational boosters (more on these on a different post). Aside from these, having review-mates who were just a chat away made things bearable. Breakdown session muna tas aral na ulit. And how could I forget all my sweet friends who would send over coffee ayuda every now and then? To me, passing the boards, while mainly should be for oneself and one’s self-actualization, is also about not letting down these people who have been with you throughout your journey.
But it wasn’t always a hyped-90s-movie-transformation-montage kind of environment. Other times, I was just worn out and dejected by my lack of progress. In the already meager time I had to study, I still had plenty of off-days. Concepts just wouldn’t stick and it was disappointing how I’d already forgotten what I just read a couple days ago. It got really tiring even if I was staying indoors all the time. I missed the comfort of coffee shops and the company of study buddies. I missed my family. I wanted to hug our dog. There were days when I couldn’t even bring myself to make coffee and open my notes. I even reached a point where I was sure that I wouldn’t finish reading all the material. (I kid you not, I have handouts I never got to open.)
Yet here I am. Here I am writing about how I survived all that and got those two letters attached to my name. I am not a good example, obviously. There are hundreds better than me and you probably should be taking advice from them instead. I’m simply writing this to tell you that you don’t have to worry. This is all just to ease your anxieties about the PLE. I’m not saying it’s an easy feat that you can just achieve just like that. While I seemed rather complacent, I still put in the work, after all. Admittedly, I know I could have done more, but again, I’m not going to dwell on that anymore. It’s done.
My goal in writing this is to let you know, my dear future doctor, that you’re going to be just fine. Here’s someone who understands the huge disconnect that stemmed from being a pandemic e-ntern. Here’s someone who’s always been doubtful and full of anxieties about the PLE even before she filed her application at the PRC. Here’s someone who constantly prayed that the PLE be moved even for just a month (or kahit two weeks lang masaya na ako nun) up to the week before the exam along with a rising number of cases. Here’s someone who barely has the capability to maintain focus for more than an hour. Here’s someone whose reading pace was literally at 10 minutes per page (yes, I actually timed it and IDK if that’s slow or really slow). Here’s someone who still allowed herself to study at coffee shops and even have samgyup (with proper health protocols, of course) even if she knew she was drowning in backlogs.
My point is that if I managed to pass despite all that, you can, too. My close friends know that I developed a rather funny mentality to ease the jitters as the boards drew nearer. I knew and claimed it for myself that I would already pass. I viewed the whole PLE as just a “formality”--a means for His plans of me becoming a doctor to manifest in this realm. I believed it so much to the point that I thought that no matter what bloopers and slip-ups I have during the test, I’d still see my name on the list of board passers. I’m not saying you should totally ease up and just have a come-what-may attitude. Again, I’m not the model student you should be following here. What I’m saying is to have faith in yourself, your capabilities, and in God. So chin up, Doc. Just a little more ‘til you get to legally practice with that MD at the end of your name.
Words can never fully express my gratitude for everyone and everything that made this dream into reality.
To my family, to my friends, to my constants during review season, to the people who kept me sane and eased my anxieties, to those who told me it was okay to take breaks, to all those who gave their well-wishes and prayers, to everyone who always believed in me and told me to not give up, this is for you.
To those who feel lost in their chosen paths, to those who feel like they’re not making any progress, to those who are tired, to those battling their inner demons, to those who feel like the dream has become a nightmare, to those who continue to persevere despite everything, this is for you, too.
Whenever I felt the anxiety for the boards building up, my thoughts would always go back to this: “Nothing can stop God’s plans for you.” Not your personal issues and self-doubt. Not the mountains upon mountains of study material. Not even a pandemic. This process is all just a formality—a means for His plans to manifest in this realm. Thus, with a grateful heart, I formally say, I am now licensed to heal.
Isn’t it just frustrating how you think of exactly what to say after the time you’re supposed to say it? The right words came to me while taking a well-deserved post-graduation day bath (ahh, the magic of the sound of water splashing against bathroom tiles). It was only then that the idea of finishing med school really set in. And even then, I still delayed making this graduation post because it still didn’t seem finished. It wasn’t ready yet. I wasn’t ready. But sometimes, you just gotta wing it and take the plunge.
So here it is, valedictory speech, full version. I had to cut the actual one short because people were starting to tear up, including myself.
———
“Do your ordinary job extraordinarily well.”
⁃ St. Josemaria Escriva, Founder of Opus Dei
Also, our beloved mentor and my late father.
(Weird to use that adjective because he was always punctual.)
To our honored guest, Dr. Alberto B. Roxas, sir; to our Vice Chancellor for Academic Affairs, Dr. Florencio B. Recoleto, Jr., sir; to our Dean of the College of Medicine, Dr. Haydee Gatchalian-Cabildo, ma’am; to the different department chairpersons, faculty, and staff of the MSU-College of Medicine; to my fellow graduates, students, parents, guests; ladies and gentlemen, a pleasant morning.
Today is a day of victory for all of us. For the families of our would-be physicians; for the college faculty and staff who went through quite the transition; for the students who, regardless of the outcome, made it past the craziness of the school year; but most of all, it is a day of victory for us graduates.
Can you believe it guys? Four years ago, we were just a bunch of hopefuls in blindingly white uniforms trying not to mess up our personal introductions in front of the whole college on Day 1. Now, here we are, in our three-striped togas, still trying not to mess up in our own graduation day. The uniforms underneath, perhaps a little bit faded or yellowed with age, with a tiny stain from ink or a patient’s body fluids—marks of our hard work.
Up until the very last minute before this program started, I still hadn’t settled on what to say to you today. Should I be motivational? Should I be solemn? Or should I just candidly be myself? These speeches usually come with some sort of grand idea for the future or a story on overcoming one’s unfortunate circumstances. Something bold; something inspiring. Something extraordinary. I began to feel disappointed when I couldn’t feel any of those as I was writing this. I wish I had more time to collect my thoughts because there is really so much to say. It was only announced two days ago, after all. Sure there was a lot of hearsay, but I refused to stick to the idea until there was an official announcement. I just didn’t want to assume and get ahead of myself like that. I needed a reassurance. And that’s how it’s always been.
You know, I used to be very sure of myself. But going into med school, not so much. I was excited and terrified. Excited because of the new environment and the subject matters to be tackled, but terrified because I knew there would be certain expectations. I’m sure you know what I mean. I remember a line from one of my favorite movies when I was a kid. The main character was trying to get into this prestigious prep school and she was told, “In this institution, excellence is not encouraged; it’s expected.” Well, that line sort of became my mantra ever since. It still carried over until med school. To be honest, no one really blatantly put that kind of pressure on me, especially not my family. Still, I just knew that I had to do well. More than, even. Not for the onlookers, but for myself and for my future patients.
However, I couldn’t help that there was always this doubt. Throughout my years in the College, I was always wondering if I deserved to be where I was, where I am. It was an unavoidable circumstance that I constantly demanded from myself that I do better so that there would be no questions asked. Unfortunately, given who I am—not going to expound anymore—that was unavoidable, too. It was, admittedly, toxic for me and of me. But, in hindsight, it was a necessary evil; a happy kind of toxicity, if you will. And somehow, long story short, all that negativity helped pave the way to better outcomes.
So I let medical school and clerkship destroy me.
And it was the best thing that has ever happened.
I’m sure some of you can relate. Even before junior clerkship started, I already dreaded not being able to answer the doctors’ questions, not being able to perform procedures well, not being able to finish all the work and requirements, not being able to prepare for a presentation. Or simply just not knowing what to do. What if I was only good at the classroom? What if I just got lucky? The last thing I wanted to be was useless. Or even worse, a liability.
But why am I telling you such a sob thing on such a happy occasion? Why am I telling you that it got so bad that I thought of quitting several times. Maybe even as much as every single day. I’m telling you these, yet every morning, I would still get up at the crack of dawn to get ready for another day of training to save lives. Because it’s not about me. It’s not about us. It’s not about the grades. It’s not about pride and the awful thought of giving up.
It’s about the lives of every single person we all worked hard to take care of and all those to come in the future. Think about them—the mothers who must be playing with their babies that we delivered, the grandparents who still get to spend time with their families because we helped them beat the odds of their diseases, the siblings who are still around despite being involved in that motor accident, the kids who didn’t lose a parent, or the parent who didn’t lose a child, or even those who lost a loved one but saw how much effort, dedication, and compassion can come from a complete stranger. We were placed here for a reason. We got this far for a reason. We were given the endurance to face medical school, the knowledge to learn countless new concepts and skills, the heart to be of service to others. What a waste it would be to turn back from all of that. What a waste to not give it our best shot.
I found myself ordinary and somehow, to me at that time, that used to mean I was lacking because that meant I still had to prove my worth. But we are all ordinary people. I’m standing in front of you now like this—so what? Again, it’s not about the grades and all that. It’s about being your ordinary self, but being the extraordinary to your patient. By simply doing our best in our jobs, we’ve made such a huge difference for them. Think of all the lives we touched, the lives we saved. And this is just the beginning.
We still have a long road ahead of us. We will encounter more diverse cases, some that will keep us up all night to understand, and even that may not be enough. Let’s save that conversation for another day. Right now, I just want to be thankful.
I’m thankful for my batch. For my classmates who I shared many ups and downs with. All our cramming paid off! To my clerkship group, especially my subgroup, I don’t know what I would have done without you. I’m beyond ecstatic to have this day with you. To express my thanks fully and to enumerate all the trials we went through would take forever because I know our journey together doesn’t end here. We gained a lot in the past years. New friendships, new relationships, new knowledge, new pounds. We also lost quite a bit, too. Sanity, sleep, money for study out sessions, time with family, and even mentors and loved ones. Yup, we had it rough, no doubt about that. Yet we are all better people for it. I’m so proud of all of us and I will cherish all the moments we shared together.
And I’m eternally grateful to this institution. MSU College of Medicine has molded us to become not just knowledgeable individuals in our profession, but also compassionate human beings. I recall a chat I had with one patient. He was a financial analyst and engineer and he said that another industrial revolution was coming. That there would be a time when the hospital would not require the presence of doctors. That we would be replaced with robots and artificial intelligence. I politely begged to differ. I just couldn’t see a future where the kind and reassuring words of one’s doctor would be replaced by binary codes from a robot. Millennials as we are, technology isn’t always the answer. It will always just be a supplement or aid, but we physicians will always remain needed and relevant. And it is a challenge for all of us to stay that way. That is why we should never stop caring and why we should never stop learning.
But I have to stop talking. This is getting quite lengthy. However, before I go, allow me to greet all the fathers and father figures here a happy father’s day. My fellow graduates, after all of this, give your old man the biggest hug ever. I wish I could do the same. I hope he’s smiling—boy, what I’d give to see that grin again. All of this is for you, Dad. And of course, you, too, Mama. I know it must be hard, but thank you for always being so strong for all of us. Thank you for always being there for me and believing in me, especially when I couldn’t find my how’s and why’s anymore. And this is for my ever supportive kuyas and baby sister who are constant reminders that there is always somebody there who’s looking out for me and ready to cheer me on.
So here’s to all of us who doubted our capabilities, but persevered; to all of us who were tired, but continued to move forward; to all of us who were wounded, but still fought our daily battles; to Class 2019, the soldiers, the brave, the strong. Again, today is a day of victory.
On this happy note, I end my ordinary speech. I hope, somehow, it left an extraordinary mark. Thank you and good morning.
So someone asked me about study advice in Ask.Fm. Mahaba tanong niya, kaya mahaba din sagot ko -- sobrang haba naman para sa Ask ko lang ilagay. Therefore, an incredibly candid blog post.
Bhe, hirap ng tanong mo kasi di rin ako magaling mag-aral. #procrastinationqueen. And I've found na there is no single method na kapag magwork ngayon, magwowork din siya sa susunod. Ang bilis ko rin kasi madistract kaya kapag medyo routine na, patay. At the same time, mahina ako mag-readjust nang mabilisan kaya it really takes a while before ako makapag-aral nang maayos. So friend, feel na feel ko ang problema mo ngayon. LOL
Okay, strategy -- I've come up with a few, actually. Depende na lang tapos sa mood ko kung anong effective. Usually they all start to work kapag malapit na ang deadline, pero masisiraan ka ng bait kung ganyan palagi. Here’s some of them:
Strat #1:
Make an outline of what you want to study. Madali 'to kapag meron kang syllabus or coverage ng exam. Minsan pwede rin na yung chapter outline ng books gamitin mo. In med school, sobrang daming libro na pwedeng gamitin on a given topic, and minsan, a particular topic is better explained in one book, tapos iba naman ang magandang pagka-explain sa kabila. Mawawala ka talaga at some point, lalo na kung maraming kailangan basahin, so making an outline is the best way to organize your thoughts.
Strat #2:
Schedule your study time, to include a set time for a subject, time for making notes, and time for a break (bec trust me, you need that break -- ps, thanks for asking this kasi break time ko na rin 'to so yay!). The Pomodoro timer is a popular way to schedule your work time. But personally, as much as I hate to admit it, I suck at following my schedules. Minsan kasi parang ang tagal pa ng susunod na break time tapos pagod ka na sa binabasa mo and wala ng pumapasok sa isip mo, edi useless na pilitin mong hintayin yung set na sched for the next break. Minsan naman, parang feel na feel mo na mag-aral pero di pa tapos yung break time. Charot. Hahaha. Pero setting a schedule is still advised.
Strat #2.5:
So what I do is I set multiple timers (there's a nifty phone app for this) for all the things that have to be done. Kunwari, 8-9 study tapos 9-9:30 break. So technically, may 1 hour na study, tapos 30 minutes for break. Pwede kong gawin na 15 minutes muna aral ko, tapos kung gusto ko mag-break, pause ko yung timer for the study and then start the one for the break. Pagkatapos ko mag-break, pause ko timer niya, and then start ulit sa study. Ang mangyayari is you still finish the 1 hour for study and 30 minutes na break, pero naka-distribute lang talaga siya within the same 90-minute interval. Just make sure di mo ubusin kaagad yung naka-allot na time for the break. Haha and this way, you control the schedule and not the other way around.
Strat #3:
Kapag mahirap ang topic at kulang ang one reading lang, make sure makakabasa ka pa ulit later. To do this, sa first reading mo, think of it as a preview. Gaya ng palabas, ang mga preview are meant to give you an overview, pero that doesn't mean na gets mo na completely. And that's perfectly fine. Kasi once you have the preview, pag magbasa ka na ulit, mas may idea ka na kung ano yung over-all concept na kailangan mong maintindihan. What I do rin sa "preview" is I highlight the super-important thoughts lang.
Strat #4:
Di rin ako kasi mahilig mag-highlight. Helpful lang siya sa akin in the sense na alam ko na tapos ko na pala basahin ang part na yan. Lalo na sa mga higanteng libro ng med na mawawala ka kung anong part na binabasa mo. So bakit super-important sentences lang? It has to be the sentence that tells you a lot without stating everything. So if you just choose to mark that part, dapat you have to be able to explain kung bakit ganito or macoconnect mo na siya with the bigger picture. In other words, instead of highlighting whole concepts, highlight thought triggers. Basta, in my case, bad idea yang lahat ng bagay hinahighlight ko. Sa iba naman, effective siya. Depende na lang siguro sa nakasanayan.
Strat #5:
Kasi ako naman, ang nakasanayan ko ay gumawa ng notes/diagrams. Hindi rin naman ako magaling gumawa ng notes, pero naiintindihan ko mga sinusulat ko, and that's the most important part. Mabagal ako gumawa ng notes kasi, as much as possible, ayaw ko magsulat ng kinopya lang kaya dapat gets ko yung binasa ko enough for me to write it in my own way. And making diagrams can be such a pain in the arse, pero it is extremely helpful, especially if it's a complex topic or if you have to correlate it with other concepts. This is the most painstaking strategy, but it's the one I always use. Kaya nga minsan nakakastress na kasi malapit na yung exam, di pa ako nakaka-readjust ng study style kaya di pa ako makagawa ng notes.
Strat #6:
Make sure na maayos paligid mo. Yung sinasabi nila na lahat ng household chores mas masarap gawin kapag kailangan mo na mag-aral? Naku, totoong-totoo yan. Nakakarelieve din nga naman ng stress, actually. Pero ang main objective mo is to make sure that walang magulo around you kasi makakagulo ng isip din yan. Wala kang takas sa entropy kasi it's the law of the universe. Kaya try to lessen the mess around you para makapag-isip ka. Pero at the same time, don't get too comfortable kasi baka makatulog ka.
Strat #7:
Try to play it up when things get boring. Kapag ayaw na magbasa, maghanap ka ng video. Kapag inaantok ka na, gumalaw-galaw ka muna o uminom ng kape. Kapag parang di ka talaga makaaral sa surroundings mo, mag-study out ka minsan (minsan lang kasi nakakabutas ng bulsa lol).
Strat #8:
Pero kung inaantok ka na talaga, aba eh matulog ka na. Pointless mag-aral sa ganyan na state kasi wala ring papasok sa utak mo. Mas useful pa na itulog mo na lang yung oras, baka sakaling maaga kang magising at makakaaral ka pa. Siguraduhin mo nga lang na inaantok ka talaga at di lang tinatamad. Minsan nga habang naglalakad papunta sa bedroom, biglang di na ako “inaantok” kaya nakakaguilty naman humiga so balik na lang sa pag-aral. O di kaya may dala akong notes para makapagbasa pa before tuluyang makatulog.
(Grabe ang haba na nito ah.)
Para naman sa motivation, it's well and good to be inspired by your end goals. Gaya ko, dream ko talaga maging doctor, so I have to make sure that whatever I do today will bring me closer to that goal. That said, I try to avoid anything that would do the opposite, as well. For example, if it's a choice between wanting to binge-watch anime and studying for my exam in a few days, I'd have to choose to study because it's the one that'll get me the MD after my name in the future. But that doesn't mean I won't watch the anime at all. That will be my present-day motivation. Kasi nakakapagod i-maintain ang bagay na nasa malayo (parang LDR lang yan eh). It's not impossible, pero it's incredibly difficult.
Having a present-day motivation will keep you from getting tired of working towards your future goals. Given the same example, because natapos ko na yung exam, I get to watch the anime. This way, I didn't compromise my main goal with the higher priority for something that I wanted to do now, but I didn't completely deny myself the happiness that comes with doing something for me. And I guess that's how you make the most of your time, as well. Do it according to your priorities, and have the willpower to follow through on that prioritization. It's gonna take some determination and discipline. Admittedly, I'm still working on it. But in the end, it will all be worth it.
I'm pleased to say that I finally got around to posting this birthday blog entry. Despite the sudden rise in things to do after the 18th of May 2016, I couldn't stop thinking of what to write exactly. In the process, so many wonderful blessings kept popping up that I decided to shift from retelling the tale of my self-proclaimed extended birthday celebration to this appreciation post. I just hope it turned out well because the words just aren't coming out right. This post doesn't even have everything I want to say, nor does it contain all of the best memories. Some moments are so special, I'd rather keep them to myself; while some feelings are too wonderful not to share. And I can’t seem to decide on the photos, so I’ll add them soon. I just really want to get this appreciation post out because it is extremely overdue.
I don't know what I did in my life to deserve all that I have now. This is what makes me certain that God is truly kind and generous. I could never enumerate all the blessings I've received and all the miracles that saved me, but I can say that I could never have gotten this far without Him. I admit that several times, I wanted to quit. It was through His grace that I found the will to keep going. I found strength in the thought that if God brought you to it, He will bring you through it.
So much has happened in the past year, and they mainly had to do with the heaven and hell that is med school. The thoughts behind why my first year was such a roller coaster ride are meant for another entry. Right now, I just want to be proud of how it all turned out. I survived everything it threw at me and now I can say that I am thankful for all of it—even for having to study all the time, the pressures of being the PBL moderator, the stress of the attacks of laziness and lack of motivation a few days before an exam, the rising OC levels that came with writing papers and making notes, the privilege and obligations of being an officer, and my favorite part: meeting new friends.
A lot of people know how introverted I really am and how moody I can get, so the past year has really tested my social interaction limits. But looking back, I'm happy I broke out of my shell a little and extended my hand in friendship. I really have no idea how I could have gotten past all the many trials I did had I not connected with my classmates. Everyone was a coffee-saturated zombie running on the last few drops of adrenaline after hell week upon hell week, but we just laugh it off. The sleepless nights became fun bonding experiences over piles of work and mountains of study material. And you can't really forget about the stress relief afforded by coffee shops, movies, or the occasional postponements of deadlines or exams. I'm just so grateful that I found a bunch of people who are as crazy as I am about going into this career path. We've got a long way to go and I'm looking forward to spending future med school adventures with these masters of cramming.
And as I celebrate the new, I cherish the old. It warms my heart to actually feel how much what was once a group of strangers have grown to care for each other. We're together through thick and thin. We shared in all our joys and disappointments. Ours is the kind of friendship that's low maintenance; we may no longer see each other everyday, but I know we have each other's backs. We've had so many wonderful experiences together and I'm hoping for more to come—even if they have to forgive me for my lack of spontaneity, but I guess they know it's just how I am. No pushing, no judging. And I love them for that. These people have helped me grow into a better person and I can't thank them enough for that. Forever will they hold a special place in my heart. To the craziest bunch of people, to my siblings-by-bond, to my constant companion, I love you all!
Plus this year’s birthday is my favorite because of these amazing people. They’re the reason behind the extended celebration--because seriously, ang daming ganap talaga. Hahaha ♥
Lastly, I thank God for my amazing family. Throughout my life, they are the ones who inspire me to do better in everything I do because what we are as a family is something I aspire to have in the future. I want to be able to hang out with my sons, to cook with my daughters, to see my kids succeed and help each other, to have fun even in the most trivial of activities. I want to be sure that we can rely on each other in any circumstance. Just thinking about all my family has done for me and all they've given me makes my head spin. And as I try to express all that I want to say to my them, especially to my parents, I find myself speechless. Every single time.
So now, what's ahead of 21-year-old me? Aside from the obvious (and harrowing thought of) second year med school and the long list of duties in the coming academic calendar, I actually haven't got a clue. Maybe there won't be room for much else because it really is a long and demanding list. Or maybe, just like this past year, it will be filled with surprises—pleasant ones, I hope.
PS: I haven’t written much in a long while, so no judging. Peace out!
They say big things can come in small packages. The Atom Micro Bluetooth speaker I bought from DB Audio Philippines is proof of that and here’s why:
Physical Build
The Atom Micro is a tiny cylinder with a height of 1.6 inches and a diameter of 1.1 inches. It’s really light, but has a premium feel to it that wouldn’t make you think that it’s cheap and would break easily. The one I bought is in rose gold (because I’m a girly girl like that), but it also comes in black, silver, and gold. It has one physical button on the bottom side, as well as an LED indicator for power and a hole for the mic.
It also has a micro USB port to the side for charging. It comes in a clear container with a micro USB cable, a 3.5-mm jack plug (not really sure what this one is for), and a user manual.
Usability
I simply adore anything that’s user-friendly. Sure, I’d love a challenge, but I prefer my daily gadgets as easy-to-use as possible. With the Atom Micro, just hold the physical button for a few seconds, and when you hear the tone, connect your device via Bluetooth (you’ll hear another tone that means you’ve successfully paired with the speaker), and you’re good to go! It doesn’t have a volume rocker, so you can only set it via the paired device, along with sound equalizer changes if you have them. And when it’s time to wrap up the party, just hold the button at the bottom again ‘til it powers down.
And for a little something extra: the physical button doubles as a remote camera shutter. Just connect to the speaker using your phone, open the camera app, and click away!
Sound Volume and Quality
Now this is where the big-thing-small-package comes in. I’m no sound guru who needs to hear every single subtle note, but I can tell if the sound quality is terrible on something and it irks me when it is. This was one of my apprehensions when I was looking for Bluetooth speakers online. But when I checked DB Audio Philippines page and saw all the good reviews, I decided it was worth the shot. (And it’s kinda hard to beat its chic design and price -- did I mention it’s only PhP 850??)
The sound quality is quite impressive that it’s hard to believe it was coming from this tiny speaker. I was semi-expecting a better bass performance, but given that it’s such a small device, it was actually pretty good. The sound volume is great, especially in closed quarters (I tried it out in our garden and I still give it a thumbs up there). I could barely hear my sister talking from across the room even at half volume. Some speakers also tend to have a more hollow sound once you raise the volume, but the Atom Micro still sounds on point. And get this: a friend entered the room when I was testing the Atom Micro out and she thought that the sound was coming from the Edifier speaker system that was connected to my brother’s PC.
Battery Life
On the label, it says that you get up to 3-4 hours of goodness. Sometimes, what the label says isn’t always accurate. I’m happy to say that the Atom Micro lives up to the 4-hour mark, no problem! It also gets plus points for telling you that it’s time to charge up, too. In fact, when I pair it with my iPhone, there’s actually a battery level right beside the Bluetooth icon on the upper right corner. Not sure whether that’s a function of the iOS itself or not, but it’s definitely convenient! Well, regardless of device pairing, the speaker itself will start beeping every few seconds when it’s down to around 10% battery.
The Atom Micro definitely makes chilling in the bedroom, cooking/baking sessions, and game nights a lot more fun. Aside from checking a lot of the niceties in a gadget (small, chic/sleek design, durable, user-friendly), it boasts of affordability (again, PhP 850!) and wonderful performance. Admittedly, I wish that it had longer battery life and that the bass was just a teeny bit better, but over-all, I am very pleased with this product. So if you’re in the market for Bluetooth speakers, make sure to check out DB Audio Philippines’s Facebook page.
